All language subtitles for New.Girl.S04E08.Teachers.1080p.DSNP.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-MiU_track4_[eng]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,084 --> 00:00:02,753 Ooh, the female reproductive system. 2 00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:04,546 WINSTON: Kind of looks like the Chicago Bulls symbol. 3 00:00:04,630 --> 00:00:07,132 -It does. -Now, this is the only part that matters. 4 00:00:07,216 --> 00:00:09,384 -The money train. Sure. -Hey, I call it my nine-to-five. 5 00:00:09,468 --> 00:00:11,637 'Cause it's my job to work it. You know what I'm saying? 6 00:00:11,720 --> 00:00:13,347 (LAUGHTER) 7 00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:16,433 -The large intestine, you degenerates. -COACH: What? 8 00:00:17,142 --> 00:00:18,519 -Let me see that. -I told Jess 9 00:00:18,602 --> 00:00:20,187 that I don't want to teach health. 10 00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:22,773 I'm not good at it. Such a hassle. 11 00:00:22,856 --> 00:00:26,151 Studying, planning, giving weak kids good grades. No. 12 00:00:26,235 --> 00:00:28,987 I heard that. There are good things, too. 13 00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:32,449 Like you get to come with me to a dope two-day teaching conference in Palmdale. 14 00:00:32,533 --> 00:00:34,159 I want to stay and hang out with the guys at Guys' Night. 15 00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:35,244 What's Guys' Night? 16 00:00:35,327 --> 00:00:37,120 We're celebrating you being gone. No offense. 17 00:00:37,412 --> 00:00:38,413 Guys' Night! 18 00:00:38,497 --> 00:00:40,415 ALL: Guys' Night! 19 00:00:40,499 --> 00:00:41,750 The conference is gonna be really fun. 20 00:00:41,834 --> 00:00:44,586 We just have to work from, like, 9:00 to 7:00. 21 00:00:44,670 --> 00:00:46,713 And then after that it's a par-tay. 22 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:49,383 Until 10:00, when quiet hours are strictly enforced. 23 00:00:49,466 --> 00:00:51,969 But before then we rage. For three hours. 24 00:00:52,052 --> 00:00:54,680 Actually, two because there's the half an hour of setup time 25 00:00:54,763 --> 00:00:57,140 and the half an hour of cleanup time because we have to actually 26 00:00:57,224 --> 00:00:58,600 be in bed at 10:00. 27 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:03,105 Ooh! Are you kidding me? 28 00:01:03,188 --> 00:01:04,731 Ryan is going? 29 00:01:04,815 --> 00:01:07,484 Ryan-Ryan? The guy you have a crazy crush on? 30 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:08,944 I had a crush on him. 31 00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:13,115 Principal Foster says that administrators can't date teachers. It's forbidden. 32 00:01:13,198 --> 00:01:14,950 That makes it so much hotter. 33 00:01:15,033 --> 00:01:17,244 It makes it crazy hotter. But, look, 34 00:01:17,327 --> 00:01:18,912 it's not just about Principal Foster. 35 00:01:18,996 --> 00:01:20,247 This is about how I worked 36 00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:21,832 really hard to get to Vice Principal, 37 00:01:21,915 --> 00:01:24,585 and I'm not gonna let some British guy get in my way. 38 00:01:24,668 --> 00:01:26,253 Some redcoat bastard. 39 00:01:26,336 --> 00:01:27,588 That's why I keep all 40 00:01:27,671 --> 00:01:30,340 of our interactions strictly professional. 41 00:01:30,883 --> 00:01:32,342 Hey. How was your weekend? 42 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:33,594 That's personal. 43 00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:37,556 I can't risk learning any personal details about him. 44 00:01:37,639 --> 00:01:40,058 What if he taught his dyslexic sister how to read? 45 00:01:40,225 --> 00:01:42,978 I can't know that. I'll go crazy with lust. 46 00:01:43,061 --> 00:01:45,439 -My pants will turn to ash. -And so exactly 47 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:47,274 how do you plan to avoid this man 48 00:01:47,357 --> 00:01:49,568 that you are trapped in the same hotel with? 49 00:01:49,651 --> 00:01:51,778 There are, like, a thousand porns that start that way. 50 00:01:51,904 --> 00:01:53,363 Yeah, but no porns have teachers. 51 00:01:53,447 --> 00:01:54,448 Every porn has a teacher. 52 00:01:54,531 --> 00:01:56,158 Well, I'm not worried, okay? 53 00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:58,327 'Cause I'll probably never even see him. 54 00:01:59,453 --> 00:02:00,537 RYAN: Jess? 55 00:02:01,246 --> 00:02:03,165 Can you believe we're right next to each other? 56 00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:15,511 -Hey, you guys want sangria? -It's Guys' Night! 57 00:02:15,594 --> 00:02:18,263 -Only beer! -Yeah, what is this, Spain? 58 00:02:18,347 --> 00:02:20,015 Great sangria burn, man. 59 00:02:20,098 --> 00:02:21,391 -Really? -Never let your guard down! 60 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:23,352 -WINSTON: Aah! -Oh, takedown! 61 00:02:23,435 --> 00:02:24,770 Never let your guard down. 62 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,898 -Well played. -All right, first up, we eat meat. 63 00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,108 -How much meat? -Then we take a fart nap. 64 00:02:30,192 --> 00:02:32,694 -Not for me. Pass. -All right, guys, it's Guys' Night. 65 00:02:32,778 --> 00:02:34,196 -Let's think. -Okay. 66 00:02:34,279 --> 00:02:37,616 Anything else we can't do when Jess is here. 67 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:38,992 Wow. 68 00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:41,453 WINSTON: Look at that stretching. NICK: I don't want to... 69 00:02:41,537 --> 00:02:45,374 make this sound too creepy, but I want to own those girls. 70 00:02:45,457 --> 00:02:47,709 I wouldn't touch them. They'd want for nothing. 71 00:02:47,793 --> 00:02:49,044 But I would know they were there. 72 00:02:49,127 --> 00:02:50,420 Stretching. For me. 73 00:02:50,504 --> 00:02:52,464 I want to French braid that girl hair. 74 00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:54,216 I want to French braid that hair so good. 75 00:02:54,299 --> 00:02:56,093 The third-hottest one just waved at me. 76 00:02:56,176 --> 00:02:57,469 Hello! Aah! 77 00:02:57,553 --> 00:02:59,304 -Ooh! Oh! -Oh, no. No! 78 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:00,764 No, no, no! 79 00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:02,266 -Jess is gonna kill you. -SCHMIDT: Shoot! She's not gonna kill me. 80 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,601 I'm just gonna, I'm gonna have it cleaned, I'll have it cleaned. 81 00:03:04,685 --> 00:03:06,603 -Schmidt, red wine sets. -Shut up, Winston! It sets. 82 00:03:06,687 --> 00:03:08,355 -Why don't you just wash it? -Why don't I just what? 83 00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:09,523 Wash it. 84 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:10,941 Just wash the blanket. 85 00:03:11,692 --> 00:03:13,861 Unless you can't. 86 00:03:14,361 --> 00:03:15,863 Come on, man. Get out of here. 87 00:03:15,946 --> 00:03:17,239 I've known you for a lot of years 88 00:03:17,322 --> 00:03:18,448 and I've never seen you do laundry. 89 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:19,658 Never seen me do laundry... Get out of town. 90 00:03:19,741 --> 00:03:21,451 Wait, wait. Is that true? 91 00:03:21,535 --> 00:03:23,412 Come on, you guys, this is so... Really, this is silly. 92 00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:24,705 Then do it. 93 00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:25,956 Right now. 94 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,082 We'll watch. 95 00:03:27,165 --> 00:03:28,333 Doing the laundry... 96 00:03:30,544 --> 00:03:32,379 It's no problemo. 97 00:03:33,672 --> 00:03:35,257 Little bit of this. 98 00:03:41,471 --> 00:03:43,182 What in the world... 99 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,391 Straining the soap. 100 00:03:46,852 --> 00:03:48,478 Get that in there. 101 00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:51,481 Back in there. 102 00:03:51,565 --> 00:03:52,733 Um, okay. 103 00:03:56,320 --> 00:03:57,404 And... 104 00:03:59,114 --> 00:04:00,991 That's it. Laundry. 105 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:02,492 Can't... Oh, so silly. 106 00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,577 Forgot to put the quarters in. 107 00:04:03,660 --> 00:04:04,786 That's right, the quarters. 108 00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,504 -Schmidt... -I don't know how to do laundry! 109 00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:14,713 -I knew it! -Forget it. 110 00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:16,006 -Finally! -That is insane! 111 00:04:16,089 --> 00:04:17,424 Hope you're happy. 112 00:04:17,633 --> 00:04:19,426 Nerd. Nerd. 113 00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:20,552 Dud. 114 00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,930 Lady nerd. Goofus. 115 00:04:23,013 --> 00:04:25,307 -Virgin... -Hey, Coach, I need you to be my buffer! 116 00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:27,434 Okay, but Nick can never find out about this. 117 00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:28,894 -Wait, what? -Hmm? 118 00:04:28,977 --> 00:04:30,729 -What? -What are you talking about? 119 00:04:30,812 --> 00:04:32,064 What are you talking about? 120 00:04:32,147 --> 00:04:34,441 I need you to be my buffer between Ryan and me. 121 00:04:34,525 --> 00:04:35,609 He's so sexy. 122 00:04:35,692 --> 00:04:37,444 -Really? That guy? -Yeah. 123 00:04:37,653 --> 00:04:38,904 Beautiful. Did you make that? 124 00:04:38,987 --> 00:04:40,405 Looks like a Boys Department mannequin. 125 00:04:40,489 --> 00:04:41,907 Yeah. 126 00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:44,368 -Hey, Jess, can I, um... -JESS: Nope. 127 00:04:44,451 --> 00:04:45,452 No time for chatting. 128 00:04:45,536 --> 00:04:46,620 We have to sit down. 129 00:04:48,664 --> 00:04:50,791 You can't sit there. Coach likes to sit in the middle. 130 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,209 Mmm-hmm. 131 00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:54,837 I sit bitch or I don't sit at all. 132 00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,797 -(WHISPERING) You're weird. -(WHISPERING) You're weird. 133 00:04:56,880 --> 00:04:58,632 -COACH: You're a weirdo. -You're weird. 134 00:04:58,715 --> 00:04:59,716 -You're weird. -You're weird. 135 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:04,263 Shh. 136 00:05:04,346 --> 00:05:06,557 I am education guru Brenda Brown. 137 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:08,809 COACH: Oh, no. Who is this? She looks like 138 00:05:08,892 --> 00:05:10,894 one of those ladies who talks you into having a baby in a tub. 139 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:12,521 You. The talker. 140 00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:14,022 -Mmm... -Stand up. 141 00:05:17,359 --> 00:05:19,611 -Talk to us. -There were other people talking, 142 00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:21,613 -I just want to let you know that. -Why are you a teacher? 143 00:05:21,697 --> 00:05:22,865 Uh, 'cause my... 144 00:05:22,948 --> 00:05:24,533 my roommate made me. 145 00:05:24,700 --> 00:05:25,826 Hmm. 146 00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,036 What? 147 00:05:28,120 --> 00:05:29,413 I'm worried about you. 148 00:05:29,496 --> 00:05:30,497 You're a worry. 149 00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:32,374 Wor... Why are you worried about me? 150 00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:35,419 Teaching is an awesome 151 00:05:35,502 --> 00:05:36,712 responsibility. 152 00:05:36,795 --> 00:05:38,547 You are not prepared for it. Sit down. 153 00:05:39,715 --> 00:05:40,799 Okay. 154 00:05:40,883 --> 00:05:44,094 Today, we will learn about our fellow educators, 155 00:05:44,178 --> 00:05:46,054 their hopes, their dreams, 156 00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:47,973 their bitter regrets. 157 00:05:48,515 --> 00:05:50,767 The things they wish they'd said to their birth mother... 158 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:53,437 So, partner up. 159 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:54,980 Will you be my partner? 160 00:05:55,063 --> 00:05:56,648 Mmm, sorry, I'm with Coach. 161 00:05:56,732 --> 00:05:57,858 No, I can't do it. 162 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:59,443 -I'm going to the bar. -What? 163 00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,111 -Buffer out. Buffer out. -No, buffer in. 164 00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,197 -Buffer in. Buffer in. -Buffer out. 165 00:06:03,280 --> 00:06:04,531 Everything okay here? 166 00:06:04,615 --> 00:06:05,824 Yeah, sorry. 167 00:06:05,908 --> 00:06:07,242 My, um... my partner just left. 168 00:06:07,326 --> 00:06:10,412 Or... did your partner just arrive? 169 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:12,039 Oh. Um... No... 170 00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,124 -Wicked. -BRENDA: Everyone! 171 00:06:14,208 --> 00:06:17,377 Look at your partner, really look. 172 00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:21,423 Take his or her hand and say, "I'm excited!" 173 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:23,759 -I'm excited. -Oh, crap. 174 00:06:26,303 --> 00:06:27,304 (KNOCKING AT DOOR) 175 00:06:30,224 --> 00:06:31,892 We just came to say we're sorry. 176 00:06:31,975 --> 00:06:34,019 Guess you think I'm pretty dim, huh? 177 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,063 A man who can't do laundry. 178 00:06:36,146 --> 00:06:37,773 You weren't born this way, were you? 179 00:06:39,024 --> 00:06:41,318 Born not knowing how to do laundry? 180 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,402 Like everyone else? 181 00:06:42,486 --> 00:06:45,113 Yes, Winston, I was. It wasn't till after birth 182 00:06:45,197 --> 00:06:47,282 -that the trouble really began. -Here we go. 183 00:06:47,991 --> 00:06:50,077 SCHMIDT: Nana wouldn't let me in the laundry room. 184 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,746 I think it's because my hands were always covered in butter. 185 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:55,332 And so I went to college unable to do laundry. 186 00:06:55,541 --> 00:06:57,835 -I'm making jean shorts! -I'm doing laundry! 187 00:06:57,960 --> 00:06:59,962 -Big night for both of us! -Yeah, it is. 188 00:07:00,045 --> 00:07:02,047 As I pulled out my maternity corduroys, 189 00:07:02,923 --> 00:07:04,675 I spied a six-pack of Pi-Phis. 190 00:07:05,592 --> 00:07:06,718 I need... um... 191 00:07:06,802 --> 00:07:08,178 I need them loose to keep... 192 00:07:08,262 --> 00:07:09,471 to keep my sperm count up. 193 00:07:09,555 --> 00:07:10,931 You know how it is! 194 00:07:11,640 --> 00:07:13,642 Eventually, the window of time when it was acceptable 195 00:07:13,725 --> 00:07:16,144 to learn something so basic had closed. 196 00:07:16,228 --> 00:07:17,688 I was an adult. 197 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:18,772 It was too late. 198 00:07:18,856 --> 00:07:20,232 Well, I understand. 199 00:07:20,899 --> 00:07:24,152 You know, I've never told anyone this, but, um... 200 00:07:24,236 --> 00:07:25,779 I don't know how to read a ruler. 201 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,573 I don't, I mean, how do you start? 202 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:29,575 At the edge or the first tick? 203 00:07:29,658 --> 00:07:31,201 -It's confusing to me. -Are you serious? 204 00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,911 -Do you know how to count? -It always gets on top of me, 205 00:07:32,995 --> 00:07:33,996 -and I can't... -'Cause then you should know 206 00:07:34,079 --> 00:07:35,247 how to use a ruler, you idiot! 207 00:07:35,330 --> 00:07:36,999 I'm an idiot? You can't even wash your own underwear, 208 00:07:37,082 --> 00:07:38,083 you dumbass. 209 00:07:38,208 --> 00:07:40,127 Hey! They're both super easy! 210 00:07:40,210 --> 00:07:41,962 We're talking about laundry and a ruler! 211 00:07:42,045 --> 00:07:44,715 I'm gonna teach you guys right now! 212 00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:45,799 Let's go. 213 00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,593 Each of you holds a stack of cards 214 00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:49,219 with questions for your partners. 215 00:07:49,928 --> 00:07:52,598 You must uncover the answers. Begin. 216 00:07:52,681 --> 00:07:54,224 What gets you out of bed in the morning? 217 00:07:54,308 --> 00:07:55,517 Let me guess. 218 00:07:55,601 --> 00:07:57,102 Your mother, who you live with, says, 219 00:07:57,186 --> 00:07:59,605 "Ryan, your crumpets are getting cold." 220 00:07:59,730 --> 00:08:01,773 The thought that any ordinary day could be 221 00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,984 the day I look back on when I'm much older 222 00:08:04,067 --> 00:08:05,360 as being the best day of my life. 223 00:08:05,444 --> 00:08:06,528 You? 224 00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:09,489 Same. 225 00:08:09,615 --> 00:08:10,657 Don't look away. 226 00:08:10,866 --> 00:08:12,201 -Embrace the intimacy... -I'm good. 227 00:08:12,284 --> 00:08:15,037 -Embrace the intimacy. -Okay. 228 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,830 You know, I think there's an art to a picnic basket. 229 00:08:16,914 --> 00:08:19,374 Apricot jam would never go with a sesame cracker. 230 00:08:19,458 --> 00:08:21,168 -Of course it wouldn't, it would go -Yeah, it'd go... 231 00:08:21,335 --> 00:08:23,795 BOTH: ...with a flaky baguette. 232 00:08:24,087 --> 00:08:26,465 Duck, duck. Okay, now step forward, step forward, 233 00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:28,217 another step forward. Okay, go to your right, go to your right. 234 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,301 Do you scrapbook? 235 00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,428 On rainy days. 236 00:08:31,512 --> 00:08:33,180 Step forward, go to your left. Left, left. 237 00:08:33,263 --> 00:08:34,473 Big step, that's it, big step. Now come to me, 238 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:35,724 another big step, come to me. 239 00:08:35,807 --> 00:08:37,184 Do you own yarn? 240 00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,268 Spools of it. 241 00:08:39,102 --> 00:08:42,314 I craft so much. 242 00:08:42,940 --> 00:08:44,441 It's a left, and again come to me, come to me. 243 00:08:44,525 --> 00:08:45,526 -Yes. -RYAN: Come to me. 244 00:08:45,609 --> 00:08:47,611 -Oh! (SHOUTS) -Oh! 245 00:08:50,739 --> 00:08:52,699 It's okay, I've got you. 246 00:08:52,783 --> 00:08:53,867 We have a new record. 247 00:08:56,036 --> 00:08:57,037 He's amazing. 248 00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:58,664 I think he might be an angel 249 00:08:58,747 --> 00:09:00,082 sent down to Earth like Denzel Washington 250 00:09:00,165 --> 00:09:01,250 in The Preacher's Wife. 251 00:09:01,333 --> 00:09:02,960 Oh, honey, okay, what can I do? 252 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:06,839 In your purse, you will find a white envelope. 253 00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,632 Okay, you, you wrote a letter to yourself, 254 00:09:08,715 --> 00:09:09,842 and stuck it in my purse? 255 00:09:09,925 --> 00:09:11,510 Read it, I need to hear it. 256 00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:12,761 "Dear Jess, 257 00:09:12,845 --> 00:09:14,179 "If you are reading this, 258 00:09:14,263 --> 00:09:15,973 "it's because you're being an idiot 259 00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,684 "and developing feelings for your employee, 260 00:09:18,767 --> 00:09:21,854 "you ballet-flat-wearing piece of Oregon trash." 261 00:09:21,937 --> 00:09:22,980 You are so right. 262 00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:24,439 You are so right. 263 00:09:24,565 --> 00:09:26,024 "To have intercourse with the first man 264 00:09:26,108 --> 00:09:27,776 "hired under your reign 265 00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:29,945 "would be an insult to yourself and also..." 266 00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,405 This part's in caps. 267 00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:33,448 -"...all women everywhere." -All women everywhere. 268 00:09:33,532 --> 00:09:36,034 "Did you learn nothing from the movie Elizabeth, 269 00:09:36,118 --> 00:09:38,078 "you stupid little bitch?" 270 00:09:38,161 --> 00:09:40,831 No one respects a queen who sleeps with her subjects. 271 00:09:40,914 --> 00:09:42,541 I will paint my face white. 272 00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,750 No man may have me. 273 00:09:43,834 --> 00:09:45,752 -Thank you, Cece. -You're welcome? 274 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:49,548 Teaching is such a pain in the ass. 275 00:09:49,631 --> 00:09:50,674 Isn't it? 276 00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:51,842 I'll tell you what, 277 00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:53,677 I wouldn't give it up for anything. 278 00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,554 You get to really impact those kids' lives. 279 00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,807 I'm not gonna impact them, I'm just teaching health. 280 00:09:58,891 --> 00:10:00,100 "Just health"? 281 00:10:00,184 --> 00:10:01,643 -Hey, Carol. -Hey, Ned. 282 00:10:01,727 --> 00:10:03,520 -Oh, it's Carol. -Oh, hey, Carol. 283 00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:05,147 Health is the most important subject. 284 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:07,024 Screw up, and they "just" get pregnant. 285 00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:09,276 What's your safe sex lesson plan? 286 00:10:09,359 --> 00:10:10,861 I don't know! 287 00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,322 Uh, lie to them and say condoms feel good? 288 00:10:13,405 --> 00:10:15,365 Uh, maybe tell them about my buddy 289 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,117 who's got bumps on his thing? 290 00:10:17,201 --> 00:10:18,660 Maybe bring up Magic Johnson. 291 00:10:18,744 --> 00:10:20,245 Maybe bring up Kobe Bryant. 292 00:10:20,329 --> 00:10:22,039 You're my best friend in the whole world, 293 00:10:22,122 --> 00:10:24,291 but I'm really worried about you. 294 00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,298 You think the line is a suggestion? 295 00:10:31,381 --> 00:10:33,592 -I don't know what it is... -It isn't! 296 00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:36,678 -Do it again. -It's too hard! 297 00:10:36,762 --> 00:10:37,763 Do it again! 298 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,473 Okay, so you start with the first tick. 299 00:10:39,598 --> 00:10:41,350 Oh... 300 00:10:41,475 --> 00:10:42,893 That's it, really. 301 00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:44,436 Stop! 302 00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:48,106 -That was at the line! -That was perfect. 303 00:10:48,190 --> 00:10:49,566 Now do it 10 more times. 304 00:10:49,650 --> 00:10:52,069 So in the beginning, you never mind the edge. 305 00:10:52,152 --> 00:10:53,779 -Yeah. -Man. 306 00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:55,948 You got to hold on to it. 307 00:10:56,031 --> 00:10:57,324 -What about bleach? -Let's walk 308 00:10:57,407 --> 00:10:58,784 before we can run, huh, pal? 309 00:10:58,867 --> 00:11:01,745 Hey, Winston, he's asking about bleach! 310 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,122 (LAUGHS) Man, that is way too soon. 311 00:11:04,206 --> 00:11:06,416 -Warm-warm, warm-cold... -You got this, don't get flustered! 312 00:11:06,500 --> 00:11:08,585 Cold-cold, hot-cold, hot-hot? It's hot-hot! 313 00:11:08,669 --> 00:11:10,963 -It's always warm-cold. -Well, what's "permanent press"? 314 00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:12,589 -Fake button, nobody uses it. -Yeah, don't press that one. 315 00:11:12,673 --> 00:11:14,007 -(BUZZING) -NICK: The machine is buzzing, 316 00:11:14,091 --> 00:11:16,134 -you didn't close it! -What? Yeah, I closed it! 317 00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:17,427 Who you gonna believe, me or the machine? 318 00:11:17,511 --> 00:11:18,512 I'm gonna believe the machine! 319 00:11:18,595 --> 00:11:19,763 (GRUNTS) 320 00:11:20,305 --> 00:11:21,682 This is bull! 321 00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:23,767 (BUZZING STOPS) 322 00:11:23,934 --> 00:11:24,935 Damn it, you! 323 00:11:26,520 --> 00:11:27,771 We're so close. 324 00:11:27,855 --> 00:11:29,314 Take 10 and relax. 325 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:30,816 Nine-inch bottle. 326 00:11:30,899 --> 00:11:32,401 Rappers be lying. 327 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:33,735 You told me to relax, so... 328 00:11:33,819 --> 00:11:35,320 Self-pleasure is the only thing that relaxes me. 329 00:11:35,445 --> 00:11:37,155 -Ugh. Seriously, Schmidt? -That is crass. 330 00:11:37,239 --> 00:11:40,158 I don't want to hear it, I don't want to hear it. 331 00:11:40,826 --> 00:11:41,827 So stupid. 332 00:11:43,954 --> 00:11:46,164 Hey, you did it! 333 00:11:46,248 --> 00:11:47,583 -You did it! -Yes! 334 00:11:47,666 --> 00:11:49,751 -Yes... yeah! -All right! 335 00:11:49,835 --> 00:11:51,253 That's what I'm talking about! 336 00:11:51,420 --> 00:11:53,046 Guys' Night! 337 00:11:54,214 --> 00:11:55,883 -Hey. -Oh, hey. 338 00:11:56,008 --> 00:11:58,635 -I saved you a seat. -Oh! No. 339 00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:02,848 I've been offered a seat at the higher-ups' table. 340 00:12:02,931 --> 00:12:04,600 The tastemakers. 341 00:12:05,809 --> 00:12:08,645 -You're not invited. -Oh, I see. You're back to avoiding me. 342 00:12:08,729 --> 00:12:10,397 I'm not... I don't know what you're talking about. 343 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:12,482 Yes, you do. You've been avoiding me for weeks at school. 344 00:12:12,566 --> 00:12:15,194 That's why I was so happy that we were finally getting a chance to, 345 00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:16,486 I don't know, maybe get to know each other. 346 00:12:16,570 --> 00:12:18,906 What, is this summer camp? We don't need to get to know each other. 347 00:12:18,989 --> 00:12:20,532 What's your problem with me? Did I do something to offend you? 348 00:12:20,616 --> 00:12:22,659 Why do... I... I don't have a problem. 349 00:12:22,743 --> 00:12:23,744 You have a problem with me. 350 00:12:23,827 --> 00:12:24,828 (MIMICKING) I don't have a problem with you. 351 00:12:24,912 --> 00:12:26,455 -Yes, you do, you have a problem. -Do you have a problem? 352 00:12:26,538 --> 00:12:28,790 -No, I don't have a problem. -Great, then we both don't have a problem. 353 00:12:28,874 --> 00:12:29,875 We have a problem. 354 00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,294 COACH: Hey, Jess! 355 00:12:32,544 --> 00:12:34,838 Buffer on the roof! 356 00:12:34,922 --> 00:12:37,216 (LAUGHS) I'm freaking out. 357 00:12:37,299 --> 00:12:39,718 Freakin', freakin' out. 358 00:12:39,801 --> 00:12:40,844 -Freak, freak, freak. -(DOG BARKS) 359 00:12:40,928 --> 00:12:43,805 Is that a baby? I feel like I hear a baby. 360 00:12:46,141 --> 00:12:48,644 All right, gentlemen, bar crawl. 361 00:12:48,727 --> 00:12:50,729 Man, look at this, I know how to do laundry! 362 00:12:50,812 --> 00:12:52,689 -I feel like a new man. -Good, good, good. 363 00:12:52,773 --> 00:12:54,525 There is no way for me to express my joy. 364 00:12:54,608 --> 00:12:56,735 Except by telling you the width of my smile. 365 00:12:56,818 --> 00:12:57,819 (GIGGLES) 366 00:12:57,986 --> 00:12:59,112 (CHUCKLES) 367 00:12:59,738 --> 00:13:01,406 I can't read it, somebody else read it. 368 00:13:01,490 --> 00:13:03,909 No, I want to do it, I want to do it, hold on. 369 00:13:03,992 --> 00:13:06,119 But I can't see, let me turn it... uh... 370 00:13:06,203 --> 00:13:08,372 You know what? To Nick. 371 00:13:08,705 --> 00:13:11,291 -What can't you do? -A lot, you know, I can't say "Frebuary." 372 00:13:11,375 --> 00:13:13,085 (LAUGHS) No one can! 373 00:13:13,168 --> 00:13:14,920 Frebuar... Febuar-ar... 374 00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:16,922 Feb... I... (BABBLES) Whatever. 375 00:13:17,005 --> 00:13:18,465 -Feb... February. -Yeah, it's February. 376 00:13:18,549 --> 00:13:20,217 I can't say the alphabet unless I'm singing the song. 377 00:13:20,300 --> 00:13:21,301 And I never learned how to love. 378 00:13:21,385 --> 00:13:25,556 But enough about me... Guys' Night! Let's go, gentlemen. 379 00:13:25,639 --> 00:13:27,474 -Man, that is... that is heavy. -Hey, Nick, 380 00:13:27,558 --> 00:13:28,725 that's something we should talk about. 381 00:13:29,518 --> 00:13:32,312 I mean, what are we gonna do, sit around all night and talk about love? 382 00:13:32,396 --> 00:13:33,605 (LAUGHS) 383 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:38,026 WINSTON AND SCHMIDT: (SINGING) I want to know what love is 384 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:44,283 I want you to show me 385 00:13:44,366 --> 00:13:46,368 Ooh... 386 00:13:46,535 --> 00:13:49,538 I want to know what love is 387 00:13:49,621 --> 00:13:51,331 Oh... 388 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:52,749 And I want you to ... 389 00:13:53,625 --> 00:13:54,960 Sad song. 390 00:13:55,544 --> 00:13:56,879 Hey, buddy. 391 00:13:56,962 --> 00:13:59,131 COACH: Hey! JESS: What's happening? 392 00:13:59,214 --> 00:14:01,049 I freaked out about the whole teaching health thing, 393 00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:04,845 and then I went and I..., I got drunk with Ned... 394 00:14:04,928 --> 00:14:05,929 Neddy! 395 00:14:06,221 --> 00:14:08,599 And then I bet everybody in the bar 396 00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,517 that I could do a backflip off the roof, 397 00:14:10,601 --> 00:14:12,728 and that's what I came to do. 398 00:14:12,811 --> 00:14:13,937 So... 399 00:14:14,062 --> 00:14:15,689 -Hey, look, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. -(ALL GASP) 400 00:14:15,772 --> 00:14:17,733 I totally understand how you're feeling. 401 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,652 Yeah? Does, uh, teaching scare the crap out of you, Jess? 402 00:14:20,736 --> 00:14:23,530 -Well, it is my life's calling, so, no. -Exactly. 403 00:14:23,614 --> 00:14:26,325 -You don't get it. -I do. 404 00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,702 What's up, player? It's the British dude. 405 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,121 This is my first time teaching, and I'm scared, too. 406 00:14:31,205 --> 00:14:33,123 -It's a terribly important job. -Yeah, but health 407 00:14:33,207 --> 00:14:34,333 -is the most... -(ALL GASPING) 408 00:14:34,416 --> 00:14:35,417 I'm good. 409 00:14:35,501 --> 00:14:38,629 Health is the most important subject on Earth. 410 00:14:38,712 --> 00:14:39,838 Yes, it is important. 411 00:14:39,922 --> 00:14:41,590 'Cause you know kids, they're always wanting to have sex with each other. 412 00:14:41,673 --> 00:14:44,301 They don't know that it just feels good for a second 413 00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,802 and then you're sad. 414 00:14:45,886 --> 00:14:48,430 And that's why we need someone great, 415 00:14:48,514 --> 00:14:50,516 someone strong, who the kids trust. 416 00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,226 -Okay. -Someone who can yell at them 417 00:14:52,309 --> 00:14:53,310 about chlamydia. 418 00:14:54,478 --> 00:14:56,563 That does... that sounds like... 419 00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:58,023 like something Coach would do. 420 00:14:58,106 --> 00:15:00,359 -You can teach. -I can teach, guys! 421 00:15:00,442 --> 00:15:01,860 NED: That's mostly what I was trying to tell you. 422 00:15:01,944 --> 00:15:04,029 No one needs to worry about me anymore! 423 00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:06,990 -No! -(ALL SCREAMING) 424 00:15:07,074 --> 00:15:08,659 -Oh, my God. -I'll get him. 425 00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:11,203 -No. Don't do anything heroic right now. -RYAN: Yes. 426 00:15:11,286 --> 00:15:13,622 -WOMAN: Oh! -(ALL GASP, EXCLAIM) 427 00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:23,841 (GASPING FOR AIR) 428 00:15:23,924 --> 00:15:26,927 (CHEERING) 429 00:15:28,345 --> 00:15:30,222 This guy's amazing. 430 00:15:32,474 --> 00:15:34,601 NICK, WINSTON AND SCHMIDT: (SINGING) Hello 431 00:15:35,769 --> 00:15:39,231 Is it me you're looking for? 432 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,692 I can see it in your... 433 00:15:41,775 --> 00:15:43,443 I want to be the someone 434 00:15:43,527 --> 00:15:45,654 that somebody is looking for. 435 00:15:45,737 --> 00:15:47,990 -In your smile... -But what do I have to offer? 436 00:15:48,073 --> 00:15:49,825 Do not talk about yourself like that. 437 00:15:49,908 --> 00:15:51,368 Come on, guys, what do I bring to the table? 438 00:15:51,451 --> 00:15:52,536 That's easy, man. 439 00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:53,620 You're the cute one. 440 00:15:53,704 --> 00:15:54,746 -What? -SCHMIDT: That's right. 441 00:15:54,830 --> 00:15:57,291 Look, I'm the smart one, Winston's the silly one, 442 00:15:57,374 --> 00:15:59,459 Coach is the sports one, and you're the cute one. 443 00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:00,544 Well, if I were so cute, 444 00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:02,421 then how come I can't find anyone to love? 445 00:16:02,504 --> 00:16:03,964 'Cause you're aiming too low. 446 00:16:04,047 --> 00:16:06,842 Nick, my man, you don't find diamonds underground. 447 00:16:06,925 --> 00:16:09,303 That's exactly where you find diamonds, Winston. 448 00:16:09,386 --> 00:16:10,596 Let's... can we not... 449 00:16:10,679 --> 00:16:12,931 This is not about gems, okay? 450 00:16:13,140 --> 00:16:15,392 This is about Nick valuing himself 451 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:17,019 enough to aim for the top. 452 00:16:17,102 --> 00:16:19,605 Now, I... I've been to the top of the mountain, with Cece, 453 00:16:19,688 --> 00:16:20,981 and it was glorious up there. 454 00:16:21,064 --> 00:16:23,442 And you know, one of these days, could be tomorrow, 455 00:16:23,525 --> 00:16:24,651 I'm gonna be a millionaire. 456 00:16:25,694 --> 00:16:27,070 If I don't have Cece, 457 00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,447 then what do I have? 458 00:16:28,530 --> 00:16:29,823 You got a million dollars. 459 00:16:29,907 --> 00:16:32,117 If I'm being honest, you guys, uh... 460 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:34,494 I'm worried about being a cop. 461 00:16:34,578 --> 00:16:35,996 -Sure. -WINSTON: What if I see something 462 00:16:36,079 --> 00:16:37,956 really bad and then it... 463 00:16:38,040 --> 00:16:39,208 it changes me? 464 00:16:39,291 --> 00:16:41,335 You know, it makes me lose my faith 465 00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,003 and then I become really bad? 466 00:16:45,506 --> 00:16:47,090 You guys really think I'm the cute one? 467 00:16:47,174 --> 00:16:48,675 You know what's not cute? 468 00:16:48,759 --> 00:16:50,302 Pretending that you don't know that you are. 469 00:16:50,385 --> 00:16:52,638 Schmidt, this sangria is just delicious. 470 00:16:52,721 --> 00:16:54,515 -Thanks, man. -I'm jealous of that little orange 471 00:16:54,598 --> 00:16:55,599 in there. 472 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:58,602 It gets to just drink all the sangria it wants. 473 00:16:59,144 --> 00:17:00,312 Yeah. I'm probably gonna... 474 00:17:01,104 --> 00:17:03,690 I'm gonna eat the orange, too. 475 00:17:03,774 --> 00:17:06,151 -Guys' Night. -SCHMIDT: Guys' Night! 476 00:17:06,485 --> 00:17:08,111 -(BLOWING) -(WHISTLES) 477 00:17:08,529 --> 00:17:09,530 (WHISTLES) 478 00:17:09,613 --> 00:17:11,240 It's like instant world music. 479 00:17:11,323 --> 00:17:12,699 (TONES HARMONIZING) 480 00:17:12,783 --> 00:17:14,952 (LAUGHING) 481 00:17:15,035 --> 00:17:16,745 -Wait, shh. -Why "shh"? 482 00:17:16,828 --> 00:17:18,205 I think he's finally... 483 00:17:18,372 --> 00:17:20,290 (COACH SNORES) 484 00:17:20,374 --> 00:17:21,708 -...asleep. -Asleep. 485 00:17:21,792 --> 00:17:23,460 (GIGGLES) 486 00:17:24,545 --> 00:17:27,005 -Cheers. -Chin-chin. (GIGGLES) 487 00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:28,799 Um... 488 00:17:28,882 --> 00:17:30,133 Hey... 489 00:17:31,051 --> 00:17:32,344 I'm sorry. 490 00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,721 I was a little bit of a jerk to you earlier. 491 00:17:34,847 --> 00:17:36,098 No, it's fine. 492 00:17:36,181 --> 00:17:37,516 I'm used to jerks. 493 00:17:37,599 --> 00:17:39,184 I used to work in finance. 494 00:17:39,309 --> 00:17:40,853 Oh! Finance! 495 00:17:41,061 --> 00:17:42,145 -Mmm-hmm. -Really? 496 00:17:42,229 --> 00:17:43,230 Why did you leave? 497 00:17:46,066 --> 00:17:47,609 I know this sounds silly, but I realized 498 00:17:47,693 --> 00:17:50,028 that the only time I'd been really happy in my life 499 00:17:50,112 --> 00:17:52,614 was teaching my little sister how to read. 500 00:17:52,698 --> 00:17:54,908 She suffers from crippling dyslexia. 501 00:17:54,992 --> 00:17:56,368 -Oh, God! -What? 502 00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,620 You're just... so perfect. 503 00:17:58,704 --> 00:17:59,913 Well, it's more common than you might think. 504 00:17:59,997 --> 00:18:01,832 No, you're like the most perfect person I've ever met. 505 00:18:01,915 --> 00:18:04,626 And it's like you're an angel who's been 506 00:18:04,710 --> 00:18:06,086 sent down to the Earth, like... 507 00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:07,880 have you ever seen the movie The Preacher's Wife? 508 00:18:07,963 --> 00:18:11,550 Anyway, I just have this big, stupid crush on you. 509 00:18:16,305 --> 00:18:17,681 I... 510 00:18:19,725 --> 00:18:20,893 didn't say that. 511 00:18:20,976 --> 00:18:22,477 -No, it's fine. It's... no. -Shouldn't have said... No. 512 00:18:22,561 --> 00:18:23,562 I shouldn't have said that. I'm sorry, um... 513 00:18:23,645 --> 00:18:25,147 I need a bucket. 514 00:18:25,230 --> 00:18:26,231 Now! 515 00:18:26,315 --> 00:18:27,649 -Um, you should go. -I need a bucket! 516 00:18:27,733 --> 00:18:28,859 -(GAGS) -JESS: Just go. 517 00:18:28,942 --> 00:18:29,943 No, let me help, please. Let me help. 518 00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:31,278 No, just go, just go, just go. 519 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:33,363 COACH: Ugh, gettin' the mouth sweats. 520 00:18:33,447 --> 00:18:35,115 -Oh, I need a bucket! -Just go. 521 00:18:35,199 --> 00:18:36,909 -Just go. Just go. -Okay. 522 00:18:36,992 --> 00:18:39,745 Why is there ice in here? 523 00:18:40,120 --> 00:18:41,788 -More room... -(SIGHS) 524 00:18:41,872 --> 00:18:43,040 ...for what's about to happen. 525 00:18:44,499 --> 00:18:46,752 -Oh, God. -Oh, my God! 526 00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:52,299 When I get home I'm hitting the books. 527 00:18:52,382 --> 00:18:53,509 I am going to crush health. 528 00:18:53,592 --> 00:18:55,636 -Yeah, you are. -Yeah. 529 00:18:55,886 --> 00:18:56,970 Ned! 530 00:18:57,054 --> 00:18:58,222 Let me get his contact before we leave. 531 00:18:58,305 --> 00:19:00,599 JESS: What? COACH: Ned! I need details, bro! 532 00:19:00,849 --> 00:19:03,310 Hey, man. Am I gonna get your e-mail? 533 00:19:03,393 --> 00:19:05,103 -What's gonna happen here? -Yeah, let's do it, let's do it. 534 00:19:05,187 --> 00:19:06,688 -Let's do it, let's do it. -Yeah. 535 00:19:06,772 --> 00:19:09,441 It's therealned8@guhmail.com. 536 00:19:09,525 --> 00:19:11,193 At guhmail... you mean Gmail? 537 00:19:11,276 --> 00:19:12,486 Oh, is that how you say it? 538 00:19:14,029 --> 00:19:15,447 Um... (CHUCKLES) 539 00:19:17,241 --> 00:19:18,784 -Good morning. -RYAN: Good morning. 540 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:21,286 Can I, um... talk to you about last night? 541 00:19:21,370 --> 00:19:23,288 No, I want to talk to you about last night, 542 00:19:23,372 --> 00:19:25,457 because I said some things, um, 543 00:19:25,541 --> 00:19:28,919 that don't reflect how I really feel about you. 544 00:19:29,002 --> 00:19:31,880 Um... so I'd really appreciate it 545 00:19:31,964 --> 00:19:33,966 if you could strike them from the record. 546 00:19:35,092 --> 00:19:37,302 It was the conference talking, not me. 547 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,139 -Consider them struck. -Thank you. 548 00:19:41,598 --> 00:19:43,267 Enjoy your Thanksgiving vacation. 549 00:19:43,350 --> 00:19:44,935 It's, uh, an American holiday 550 00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:47,145 where we celebrate the fact that we... 551 00:19:47,229 --> 00:19:49,815 didn't know how to farm by ourselves. 552 00:19:50,899 --> 00:19:53,819 Are you curious to know how I really feel about you? 553 00:19:54,570 --> 00:19:55,863 -No. -Because if you were 554 00:19:55,946 --> 00:19:58,240 interested, I'd tell you that 555 00:19:58,323 --> 00:19:59,658 I won't enjoy my Thanksgiving 556 00:19:59,741 --> 00:20:01,493 because I won't get to see you every day. 557 00:20:02,327 --> 00:20:04,288 I think you're beautiful 558 00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:06,707 and totally insane, 559 00:20:06,790 --> 00:20:08,292 and when I'm at work, I can't focus, 560 00:20:08,375 --> 00:20:10,544 because I can't get you out of my head. 561 00:20:18,719 --> 00:20:19,720 COACH: Hey. 562 00:20:20,512 --> 00:20:21,930 Hey, uh, you guys want to stop 563 00:20:22,014 --> 00:20:23,640 on the way home and get some pancakes? 564 00:20:23,724 --> 00:20:26,268 -Hey, what do you call them in England? -Roundy-yums. 565 00:20:26,810 --> 00:20:28,353 -Really? -No. 566 00:20:28,770 --> 00:20:30,397 See you after the holidays. 567 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:36,653 -Oh, boy. -You didn't see anything! 568 00:20:40,824 --> 00:20:42,659 Where'd your lipstick go? 569 00:20:42,868 --> 00:20:44,286 -Hit 'em! Hit 'em! -From the back. 570 00:20:44,369 --> 00:20:45,537 -NICK: Hit 'em! -Ugh! 571 00:20:45,871 --> 00:20:47,748 It smells terrible in here! 572 00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:49,958 How many beers did you guys drink? 573 00:20:50,042 --> 00:20:51,877 -So much. -Beer, beer! 574 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,170 SCHMIDT: Lots of beer. Just a lot of beer. 575 00:20:53,253 --> 00:20:54,338 -That's how beer smells. -So many beers. 576 00:20:54,421 --> 00:20:56,215 (SNIFFS) Smells like sangria. 577 00:20:56,298 --> 00:20:57,674 SCHMIDT: That must be the perfume 578 00:20:57,758 --> 00:20:59,384 from all the ladies we hooked up with. Yeah. 579 00:20:59,468 --> 00:21:00,636 They were all Spaniards. 580 00:21:00,719 --> 00:21:03,263 Mine was named SeƱorita Lucinda Madrid. 581 00:21:03,347 --> 00:21:04,389 Say, how was the conference? 582 00:21:04,598 --> 00:21:06,850 It was just... a stupid... 583 00:21:06,934 --> 00:21:08,268 conference... 584 00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,564 So she finally hooked up with Ryan. 585 00:21:12,648 --> 00:21:14,900 He put his teeth behind her teeth. 586 00:21:16,235 --> 00:21:17,819 Aah! 587 00:21:19,321 --> 00:21:20,781 (SIGHS) 588 00:21:21,073 --> 00:21:24,701 Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God... 589 00:21:36,922 --> 00:21:38,924 What the hell did you guys do to my blanket? 42482

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.