All language subtitles for Knightriders - 1981 English

Knightriders - 1981 English

[CROW CAWS]

[BIRDSONG...]

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Go in a little deeper.
It's gotta snap easy.

We don't want anybody
getting killed out there.

[BIKE REVVING]

Whoo! Little John!

This is beautiful! Did you see that?

It looks a little heavy, Morgan.

It'II knock you on your ass, Sir Knight!

That's just what I'm afraid of, a hit in
the head with that thing. Let me see it.

It doesn't have as much force
as a lance tip head on.

A lance tip will snap your neck for you.

That's for swinging side-arm.

I don't know, Little John.
It's not like a ball and chain.

The chain absorbs most of the impact.
This damn thing's solid.

So, what the hell?
Kay's got that long-handled battle-axe.

Yeah, but the head's made out of
rubber. This thing's got its own inertia.

- [LAUGHTER]
- Did you see that?

Just cos your armour'II
take a bazooka shell.

Don't forget some of us
are wearing tinfoil.

That's your problem.

My problem is to knock you
out of that saddle,

and this baby is sure gonna help.

We don't need to make it
any rougher than it already is.

All right, we won't use it today.

We'II try it out first, OK?

Unless you'd like to use it.

- Ah, no thanks.
- [MORGAN] I'm not afraid of it.

I'II still blow you away.

- Has anyone seen Billy yet?
- Not since he rode out with Lin.

Geez, how can we tourney
without our king to lead us?

[PIPPIN] There may not be a tourney.

- Alan, we got trouble with the law.
- Aw, Christ.

- Did he say where he was heading?
- Somewhere down by the river.

Aah! Oh!

Lester, I think maybe
we should go get a seat, OK?

Oh, Helen, shut up
and give me another beer.

- Daddy.
- Another 75 cents.

- Huh?
- Another 75 cents.

No, no, sweetheart, I paid you for two.
That's my second ear of corn.

No, no, no, sweetheart, you dropped
your second ear of corn.

That's your third ear of corn.
Another 75 cents, please.

[HELEN] Julie,
you're shaking up the beers!

Daddy, you're a slob!

A fat

slob jerk!

And, Mother, you're a wimp!

Do you hear that, Helen? That's your
daughter calling me a fat slob jerk!

Bingo.

Hey, Morgan le Fay.

- You look beautiful again today.
- Mm-hm.

- Come here. Come here.
- Stop it. Stop.

Hey, you better watch out.
I'm fixing your bikes, you know.

- You're fixing my bikes, you know?
- Mm-hm.

I'II fix your bike, you know.

- Look, don't put that grease on me.
- Uh-huh.

No, whoa, whoa! Stop.

We got trouble with the law.

- What?
- Go find Merlin.

Oh! Oh, you jerk!

- [GROANS]
- Oh. Oh, my God. Oh, God.

- It's all right. I'II be all right.
- Are you hurt? God, I'm so sorry.

I can't believe it. Ow! Damn!

- Aah!
- Oh, I'm so sorry!

- No, no, no, I'm hurt enough already.
- Oh, gee, I didn't see you.

I was walking down this way
and before I knew it...

[ALAN] Right, right, right.

Here.

No problem.

No broken bones.

Anyway, it's what I do.
Fall off bikes is what I do.

- You'II see. You gonna be here later?
- I don't know.

- Oh, well.
- [BIKE REVS]

Er... it gets kinda rough out there
sometimes, huh?

- I mean, does it get bloody?
- Nah, sometimes a little.

It's never too bad
when it's just a show, though.

- You ever ride a bike?
- Uh-uh.

Well, listen, I gotta go for a little ride.
You wanna come?

Come on. Come on.

- OK, now just hang on to me.
- Oh!

[DEPUTY COOK] Like I said,
I'm gonna have to shut you down.

Now just wait a minute.
We have a permit.

Come on, Tuck.
Where the hell's the permit?

I didn't sign this.
You, er... sign this, Jess?

Never seen it before.
Guess the sheriff must have signed it.

I don't see how we can
let this go on, Jess.

No, er... medical facilities. No doctor.

- He's a doctor.
- He's a what?

And he's got enough equipment and
supplies to handle an emergency.

- You're a doctor? Medical doctor?
- That's right.

- Licensed to practise?
- In good standing.

No malpractice.
Clean record. No problems.

Look, so he didn't sign the permit.
The sheriff did.

So let's go find the sheriff!

It's got nothing to do with who
signed the permit and who didn't.

Where the hell have you been?
We have trouble with the police.

Who's she?

- Who are you?
- Julie Dean!

- What?
- My name's Julie!

Her name's Julie!

[CHUCKLING]

What's the problem, magician?

It's, um... same old thing, you know?

[TUCK] We properly got
a permit to use the field,

and it was signed
by the sheriff of Bakersfield.

The deputy doesn't want
to know about the sheriff.

He wants his own little pay cheque or
he says he'II shut down the tournament.

- Tuck, what's the gate today?
- We're not paying.

Aw, come on, Billy.
What do you think you're gonna do?

I'm gonna say no, that's all. We're not
paying. It's wrong to pay this guy off.

- Come on.
- It's wrong, Morgan!

We don't need any hassles. We're
talking about serious hassles here.

I don't think this guy's gonna do
anything. He's not gonna shut us down.

He's not gonna do shit.

Come on. Come on,
let's start the games.

[BIKES REV]

[BASEBALL ANNOUNCER]
'And he walked him!

'And that should be all
for Johnson here in the eighth.'

[FANFARE]

Hello, ladies and gentlemen!

Welcome to the games
of the court of Sir William the King.

When T H White wrote down

the magical tale of Arthur
and the Round Table,

he called it The Once And Future King.

Once honour and nobility reigned.

- In the future, may they also reign.
- [FANFARE]

- [APPLAUSE]
- [MUSICIANS PLAY]

[PIPPIN] In those magical days,
when honour was the true thing,

a good knight's hardened steel
was a symbol of that honour.

You know, I don't have the balls
to wear anything like that.

Don't I wish! Give me a beer.

[PIPPIN] In times of peace,
the knights would ride tournaments,

to keep their skills sharp and to
practise the chivalries of battle.

Don't touch, Jim. Those things
can bite your fingers off.

[PIPPIN] And now the King of our little
Camelot, the noble Sire William

and his lovely lady Linet.

- What's the new toy?
- That's the mace I made for Morgan.

It's got a solid hit?

Yeah, it's made
out of metal, not rubber.

- Alan thinks it's too heavy.
- Let me see it.

Well, I never did know
a king who was on time, did you?

I didn't think we should use it
until we tried it out first.

Trumpets.

Just do it.

[MIMICKING TRUMPETS]

If Morgan needs a hand weapon,
tell him it's OK to use the mace.

Ah, come on, Bill, you...

My lords and ladies, the ever punctual
Sir William the King.

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Long live King William!

Hey, what's up? Is something wrong?

Oh, it's... it's nothing.

[PIPPIN] And now the noble knights
of our kingdom!

[DRUMMING AND MUSIC]

What you will see, ladies and gents,
is absolutely real.

It's like drawing lots. You never know
who you're gonna ride against.

[PIPPIN] Now, any foul play
will be ruled on by the King,

the ultimate referee,

and the King himself
may ride in the game,

should he feel an opponent worthy.

[TRUMPET FANFARE]

[BIKE REVVING]

Far out!

[PIPPIN] That was Sir Pellinore
besting Sir Ban of Boston.

And a well-placed blow it was.

- Your life is in my hands, sucker.
- I'm gonna kick your ass.

Hey, Joe!

The winners fight each other
until there's a champion.

- Did you see that shot?
- Yeah, it's all right, brother.

They're like acrobats, that's all.
They're like the wrestlers on TV.

They got these blood bags in their
mouths, you know what I mean?

Oh!

Ewing! You don't have a chance!

It's Ewain.

[TRUMPET FANFARE]

Keep your eye on me today.

[PIPPIN] Sir Ewing beats Sir Bleoboris.

All right!

[PIPPIN] Sir Marhalt
defeated by Sir Rocky!

Better luck next time, Sir Marhalt.

Far out!

[BIKE REVS]

[PIPPIN] Next to ride against Sir Kay,
Morgan, the infamous Black Knight.

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

Yeah!

[PIPPIN] In cases like this, the King,
Sir William, can judge a victor

or call for another pass.

Now in the case of another pass,

the knights may not use their lances
but must turn to hand weapons.

Neither man was the clear victor.
Fight again, Sir Knights.

Morgan had the advantage so Sir Kay
will choose. Mounted or hacks, Sir Kay?

- Hacks.
- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]

No, no, the mace. The mace.

What?

Billy says you can use it, if you want it.
It's up to you.

Yeah?

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

OK.

[PIPPIN] In the side hacks,
the knights don't use the rail.

They ride in the open field
and they can pass at each other

for as long as it takes
for one to eliminate the other

or until one concedes.

God, they're really revved up.

Come on, Kay!

Billy, you're not gonna do this.

Maybe Morgan will lose.

[CHEERING]

Yahoo!

Billy, your shoulder.
You're still not right from the last one.

Er... the King, ladies and gentlemen.

The King will ride against
Sir Morgan, the Black Knight.

[BIKE REVS]

All right, Sir Knight. Here.

[PIPPIN] The King can elect to face
any knight he deems worthy

or any knight who offends his honour.

Sir Morgan being a worthy knight,
let's assume the former in this case.

What is it?

If the King goes down,
we have to be ready for rescue.

Why?

We have to get to Morgan
before he can make the King yield.

If Billy surrenders, he loses the crown.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Let's move it out!

- [CROWD SHOUTING]
- The King is rescued!

The King is rescued!

My God. Get a stretcher!
Get a... get a stretcher!

Punch, Whiteface, somebody!

Use the power of his swing!

- Watch out!
- Watch it, watch it, watch it!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[ROCKY] Use his power!

- Come on! Yeah!
- Hit it, Alan!

[CROWD CHEERING]

Oh, wow! Ooh! Far out!

[CROWD CHEERING]

You all right? Let me see.

- I'm all right.
- You're all right.

- You almost made it, didn't you?
- Yeah.

[ROCKY] Basics, Morg.

You forgot your basics.

- No, I didn't.
- [CROWD APPLAUDING]

- Wow, this is a hell of a show!
- Come on.

It's a fake. It's all a fake.
They try to make it look tough.

They try to make it look dangerous.

- [CHEERING AND CHATTERING OUTSIDE]
- [BIKES REVVING]

[CHUCKLING]

All right, who proved what out there?

Morgan proved he could kick my ass.

Steady.

- What's the story, Merlin?
- Could be worse. Could be better.

His helmet and his chest plate
just scissored him.

- Took a big bite. Missed the artery.
- It's nobody's fault, man.

- You know what you're doing?
- Hey!

Why don't you all get out of here?
I'm gonna stitch him up.

OK, let's go. Let's get out of here.

[BIKES REVVING]

[ALAN] We're all in this
because of the lifestyle.

And we got our own place,
and you did that. You set that up.

- [CROWD CHEERING]
- [ALAN] And you know what it's about.

And what it's about is having
things we can count on.

And one of the things
we count on, man, is you!

Hey, hey, hey!
Where are you going, kid?

I'd like to get Billy Davis's autograph.

Well, the King is a little busy right now.
You want to try again later?

Now, you've been messing up lately,

but you keep putting it on the rest of us,

and this whole thing's gonna blow up,

and nobody needs that kind of shit, man.

That's why we're here.

[TRUMPET FANFARE]

[BIKES REVVING]

What's his problem, Lin?

Wow! You were fantastic!
Fabulous! I just couldn't believe it.

- Come on, we gotta finish the show.
- Isn't he great?

God. Wait till I tell
my girlfriends about this.

OK, look, everybody get out of here.
We got a show to finish. Let's go.

[CHEERING]

[PIPPIN] Even the best suffer defeat.

Rocky is down,

leaving Sir Hector of Ewick
to compete with the championship

with Sir Ewain
against Sir Bors and Sir Alan.

[MOUTHS] Is she OK?

[PIPPIN] Sir Hector of Ewick
competing in game one.

- Are you all right?
- [MEN LAUGHING]

- Where is she?
- Rocky!

- Basics. You forgot your basics.
- [LAUGHTER]

You'd better disappear quick, killer,
or I'm gonna get that mace

and do something very very bad
to your basics.

- Ooh.
- Ha-ha.

- Oh.
- Sounds like fun.

Had another dream.

That right?

Black bird again.

Same black bird.

The way you get knocked around,

you're bound to have
some weird dreams, Billy.

Come on, man. Look, man, you're
supposed to believe in stuff like this.

Say, man, if I didn't believe in magic,

I'd still be treating gall bladders,
prostates and stuff like that.

See, magic ain't got nothing to do with
organs and glands and busted necks.

Magic got to do with the soul, man.

Only the soul's got destiny.

It got wings, it's can fly.

That's magic. The body...

the body's just got a few minutes down
here in the dirt with the rest of us.

- You see things before they happen.
- Mm.

That's probability.
Some things is just sure to happen.

Seeing 'em coming
ain't nothing to get excited about.

No, you taught me too good,
magician. You taught me to believe.

That black bird's gonna get me.

Yeah, maybe
you'II make it happen yourself.

Probability, man.

Some day, some cat comes along
with a black bird painted on his shield.

You freak out, drop your guard,

and, ca-po-ze, ca-poza,
ba-uu-wa, he gets you.

- Maybe that's my destiny.
- Big D. Ah, destiny'II mess with you.

Like the real King Arthur.

You know how the story go.

Let's get it once more, huh?

Command performance for the King.

[PLAYING HARMONICA]

A-ooh.

Once upon a time ago, ba-bo-zee,

in days of old, when knights were bold,
there was King Arthur.

Oh, Merlin told him
that his own kid would kill him,

so Arthur sends all the babies
in the land away on a boat,

not knowing which of the many women
he was always messing with

might have had his kid.

Boat wrecks in a storm.

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

Destiny, big D, you see.

Ah.

One baby lives, Arthur's baby.

Nobleman finds it along the shore,
raises it to be a fighting knight.

Knight comes by one day and... whew!

Wastes the King, blows him away.

If Arthur hadn't have tried to stop it,
it might never have happened.

Course, he only got the King's body.

That's it.

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

And we're coming down to it,
ladies and gentlemen,

the final passes that will decide
the champion for today's games.

Sir Alan will ride
against the noble Hector.

Let me get it hitched.

- [BIKE REVS]
- Alan! Alan, wait!

Er... who gave you that?

- What?
- Some guy, right?

No, my father gave it to me.

If that's a present from another guy,

it's bad luck for you to give it
to me as your champion.

So, if I lose, it's on you.

[TRUMPET FANFARE]

- [CROWD CHEERING]
- Whoo! All right!

[PIPPIN] And so, my lords and ladies,

the championship of the day
will be decided in the final tilt

between the gallant Sir Ewain
and the noble Sir Alan.

- [CHEERING AND WHISTLING]
- All right! All right!

My hero!

[SQUEALING]

See? Good luck, huh?

[PIPPIN] The King. My lords and
ladies, the King is restored to us.

Long live the King!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

The King is on his throne and in good
time to honour the champion of the day.

And to us, my lords and ladies,

the champion of the day is truly
a champion, honoured and rewarded.

There is a purse
for the champion, of course,

but, more importantly,
until the next games,

he will sit in an honoured place
in the King's favour.

He will be absolved from certain duties

and be granted privileges
within our society.

So, being champion of the games
is no small thing to a knight.

Make it three and I'II buy you a beer.

- And the brave Sir Ewing...
- Yeah? You're on.

The valiant Sir Alan,
they both deserve the honour well.

- [TRUMPET FANFARE]
- May the better man win!

Good night, sweet prince.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Sir Ewing, my lords and ladies!

- The champion of the day!
- Ewain, Ewain!

Hey, Pip! It's Ewain the invincible!

- [CROWD APPLAUDING]
- Nah, I'm all right. Get the bike.

[CROWD CHEERING]

It's OK. Go ahead.

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

Hi. I could sure use one
of those rubdowns tonight.

What's the matter?
Alan get all the townie action, huh?

Oh, geez.

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Where's Julie?
Has she come back yet?

I don't know.

[LESTER] So, how in the
hell are we gonna find her?

She's probably gone home.
Come on, let's go.

I'II kick that kid's face,
calling me a fat slob jerk!

[PIPPIN] And now the part I know
some of you have been waiting for.

This is a traditional part
of our tournament.

So, those of you with your own bikes...

Just what the hell
am I signing away here, man?

Well, your... your intelligence,
your good looks,

and your social standing,
nothing really.

Here, put this on and keep it on.

[PIPPIN] And if nobody's
up for a direct challenge...

If you don't know
how to write your own name,

why don't you just make an X?

Don't forget to pick up the helmet.

It's the thing that looks like your head,
only it's got a chin strap.

Billy, I...

Aw, man.

You all right? Yeah?

I guess Little John's mace is too heavy.

This is...

Yeah. OK.

Look, what did you do out there, man?

You went under me like you wanted me
to smash you or something.

I mean, you wanna prove the mace is
too heavy, you don't have to die to do it.

Oh, Sir William? Could you sign
your name on your picture?

Could you make it to Billy?
Billy's my name, too.

- Look at that spread.
- What is this?

It's a magazine called Cycle Riders.

Now, see, I... I didn't know about this.
Merl, I didn't know about this.

Must be the piece they did in Johnstown.

I mean, obviously that is you.
I mean, you were there.

Yeah, I was there.
Yeah, right, that's me.

I'm sorry, but I don't like
this kind of stuff.

All I want you to do is just,
you know, sign your name.

I can't.

See, I...

This is like Evil Knievel
or somebody like that.

It's got nothing to do
with what we're doing.

Do you understand me?
I can't. I'm sorry.

I'm really sorry.

Come here, my man. How about
the autograph of the next king?

You can be the first.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, wow!

There, now you have something
to hang on my lance.

[SNORTS] She's got plenty
to hang on your lance.

- I owe you, Grundy.
- Hey, retail prices, you know.

Thanks, man.

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

[LAUGHTER]

Very clever, very clever.
But he's a comedian.

- Speaking of clowns...
- Yeah, he's still here.

- What do you think?
- I don't know.

[LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING]

- What now?
- Let's go raise some hell!

All right!

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Damn, he's good.

Hey! I'm really impressed!

But I wanted the axe back!

- All you had to do was ask.
- Thanks.

- By the way...
- Yeah?

Look out for that barn!

Aah!

[SCREAMING]

Whoa! Whoa! Shit!

[CHUCKLES] That's really not bad.

You looked pretty great there
for a while. But you lost your guts.

You gotta have guts
to do what we do, baby.

That's basic number one.

[Sings tune]

[Plays guitar]

♪ Said the signifying monkey ♪
♪ To the lion one day ♪

♪ There's a great big elephant ♪
♪ Down the way ♪

♪ Going round talking, I am sorry to say ♪

♪ About your mama ♪
♪ In a scandalous way ♪

♪ He's talking 'bout your mama ♪
♪ And your grandma too ♪

♪ He ain't got too much respect for you ♪

♪ You wanna chat? I sure am glad ♪

♪ Cos what he said about your mama ♪
♪ Made me mad ♪

♪ Signifyin' monkey ♪

♪ Sit up in your tree ♪

♪ You is always lyin' and signifyin' ♪

♪ But you better not monkey with me ♪

♪ - Say what? ♪
♪ - Signifying monkey ♪

♪ - Hoo! ♪
♪ - Stay up in your tree ♪

♪ You is always lying and signifying ♪
♪ But you better not monkey with me... ♪

Take it, Tuck.

[MIMICS TRUMPET]

[MUSIC CONTINUES...]

Everybody here made a conscious
adult decision to be here,

to be with you.

When you go crazy, you force them
to rethink that decision.

- You've got to...
- Compromise.

Change doesn't have
to mean compromise.

We're bigger now. Things are different.

- [SINGING OUTSIDE]
- Christ, we've got an overhead!

Publicity helps the overhead.

- [SINGING OUTSIDE]
- They're bringing in more crowds.

More sucker-headed
American driftwood

that can't tell the difference
between me and Jim Jones

or Charles Manson
or the Great Wallenda.

That kid... that kid thinks
I'm Evel Knievel!

That kid thinks you're Billy Davis!
Sir William the knight! You're his hero!

- [SINGING OUTSIDE]
- I'm not trying to be a hero!

I'm fighting the dragon!

♪ Always lying and signifying ♪

♪ But you better not monkey with me ♪

♪ You better not monkey ♪

♪ You is always lyin' and signifyin' ♪

♪ But you better not monkey with me ♪

- [MIMICS TRUMPET]
- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

- All right!
- Nice! Fine!

All right!

[LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

I was never into
this King Arthur crap anyway.

I was into the bikes, man, the bikes.
That's how I got here.

He just recently found out
Morgan le Fay was a woman.

[LAUGHTER]

That's all right.
Pip's known all his life he's a woman.

- [MUSIC PLAYING]
- Oh...!

Are you gay, Pip?

In the sense of happy,
carefree, light-hearted?

And can we have this discussion later?

Come on, be straight with me.

Come on, Angie. When did you
ever see Pip with a woman?

I see him with Rocky a lot.

Well, come on,
Pip hangs out with me a lot.

Yeah, but everybody knows
you're my main squeeze.

Oh, sure, with you hanging around
with anything that wiggles.

[HE MEOWS]

[ANGIE] People probably think I'm gay.

Ever since I've been a grease monkey,
they've been thinking that anyway.

Yeah, right.

- Are you gay, Pip?
- God.

Great to have you around, Angie.

You really know how to cut through it,
don't you?

Damn it! You take it every day of your
life from people that think you're gay.

Well, I'm one of your best friends
and I don't know. Are you?

I don't know either.

I don't, OK?

Well, maybe that's why
you take so much heat, huh?

I mean, Rocky doesn't take any heat.

- Yeah, that's cos Rocky kicks ass.
- [ROCKY] No, that's not true.

I don't take any heat
because I know who I am,

and very often I do kick ass.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

♪ Down a country lane ♪
♪ I strolled on a door, I chanced to knock ♪

♪ Have you any pots and kettles ♪
♪ With a rusty hole... ♪

- Did you invite company?
- No, just you, I guess.

Oh, man.

Oh, Jesus. Oh, Jesus, it's the swine.

- I smell bacon.
- That's the swine, man.

Oh, whither goest, thou yonder?

Come on.

- Hello!
- Open up!

What's going on?

We got reason to believe there's
a controlled substance in this van.

- Oh, yeah? You got a warrant?
- Yeah.

- Right here.
- Jesus Christ.

- Hey, Tuck!
- Huh?

What the hell's going on, Tuck?

What the hell's going on?

It's a raid.

It's the cops from Bakersfield.

But there's nothing to raid, Tuck.

They're looking for something.
I snuck out.

I was afraid they'd find my still.

I keep telling you, Tuck,
wine's not illegal.

Well, it's more exciting
to think that it is.

Come on, Julie, let's go.

I better not go back there!
They're probably looking for me!

All right, you stay here with Tuck.

I'II be back.

[BIKE REVS]

This is unreal. This is totally unreal.

Hey, didn't you take
some vows or something?

Oh, no. I do believe we've found
a cache of elusive sponduics.

The unholy weed.

- It's a plant, Billy.
- I know it, man.

All right, let's go.

As you may remember from
our, er... earlier conversations,

I am a reasonable man.

I'm sure we can reach a... er, informal
bail arrangement for your boy here.

You again! I told you to pay
this guy off the last time.

Now I bet your price just went up, huh?

And I said we're not paying.

And we're not paying this rat-pile
heap of dog shit a goddamn cent.

You wanna take him in? Take me in, too.

[MORGAN] Oh, that's real sweet.
We'II all go together.

[BILLY] Merl, go get Steve.
We ain't paying off on no frame.

Bagman ain't going to no jail alone.

[MORGAN] We got a show
to do in three days!

- We do have to get there.
- Maybe we can't make it.

Oh, yeah, sure, sure. We haven't
got enough problems as it is.

I do think you boys ought to reconsider.

Small town jails is,
er... uncomfortable places.

[MERLIN] Damn uncomfortable.

All them lead pipes and stuff.

Bagman ain't going to no jail alone.

Anything happens in that jail,
there's gonna be a witness.

The rest of you stay here
until we get out.

Now are you going
to arrest me, fat man,

or do I have to do something
to provoke you?

All right, Jack, you got it.

Aw, Christ.

Let's go.

That man's hurt. Better not be worser
when I see him again.

Neither one of 'em. You hear me?

Oh, that's right, you're a doctor.
Damn lucky thing you're around, doc.

Hit it.

Wait here.

This is crazy!

Let's go after them, pay them,
and then get the hell out of here!

We're not paying!
That's the way Billy wants it!

Billy's insane!

It's done, Morgan!
There's nothing we can do about it.

Oh, that's great.

So, what, we save 500 bucks here and
we lose 2,000 for blowing a show?

That's good.

We're not gonna lose anything.
We're going to Lawrence.

Angie, you go ahead now
with Tuck and Pip.

When you get to a phone,

try all the motels in Lawrence
and see if you can find Steve.

If you can't raise him by phone, as
soon as you get to town, try to find him.

The rest of us, we got some packing
to do. We're moving out.

I need somebody
to drive Bagman's truck.

I want to be on the road in an hour.

[ROCKY] Let's get organised.

We got to load up all the bikes.
Who's gonna drive what.

Bobbie, come help me with the tents.
We're gonna strike them right now.

- All right.
- Let's go.

I'II drive the truck.

You better stay,
see what you can do.

I got some ideas.

No! No!

No!

- You wanted a witness? Huh?
- What about me? Me!

You wanted a witness?
Around here, they don't count for much!

All you gotta do is tell me to send out
for your boys with the money!

That's what you gotta do!

Don't hit him no more.

OK?

- Bagman.
- What?

- You OK, man?
- [CHUCKLES] I'm all right.

[LAUGHING]

Sheriff's up in Loyal Gorge,
fishing, Julie.

Oh, Lord.

What's the problem?

Oh, I could call over at the jail.
Jess or somebody would be over there.

No. No, that's OK.
We'II just forget about it.

- Er..how far is this Loyal...
- Loyal Gorge. 60 miles. 80 maybe.

What's the problem?
You in some kind of trouble, Julie?

No, I'm not in any kind of trouble.

Er... we just needed to see
the sheriff, that's all.

- Sorry to bother you.
- Yeah.

Julie Dean! You don't just come
around banging on people's doors

at four o'clock in the morning!

What the hell you doing up
at four o'clock in the morning anyway?

Sorry, sorry.

Oh, you kids is always up to something.

Good night.

No damn good. I knowed you
since was a tadpole.

- Take your bike. You got gas, man?
- Yeah, I think I got enough.

- There's some all-nighters on I-79.
- See you all later.

[BIKE REVS]

Since when you messing around
motorcycles, Julie Dean?

You could die on them things!

Them things is damnable. Damnable!

Look, even if you're pissed off at me,
would you please talk to me?

I gotta keep awake.

I'm not pissed off.

I don't know what I am.

I don't know what I am, remember?

As you helped me realise back there
in front of everybody.

What about you? You're not
on such solid grounds, you know.

Morgan dumps on you all the time. He
cheats on you every chance he gets.

He's probably back there
with somebody right now.

God! I asked you to talk to me!
I don't want to hear this shit!

God damn it! You can say anything.
You can say anything you want to.

But nobody can say
anything back to you!

That was just being mean, Pip, and
you know it. I was not being mean!

Jesus.

Sometimes you don't know
where your life's going.

Sometimes I feel like
I don't fit in anywhere.

God damn it, Ange,
I do think you're screwed up.

You hang around that jerk Morgan

just because you think
nobody else wants to schtoop

a woman with grease on her face.

But you don't even wipe the grease off.

- Schtoop?
- Schtoop.

It's a perfectly good word.
I think you know what it means.

Well, if I wipe the grease off,
will you schtoop me, my dear?

[LAUGHS] No, I wouldn't.
I'd rather boff boys.

- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.

OK.

Steve! My God, that's Steve!

Steve! Where the hell have you been?

We've called every motel in Lawrence.

I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd ride on
and meet y'all in Bakersfield.

All right, what the hell's wrong?

Nothing's wrong! Billy's in jail!

He's got a broken neck!
But nothing's wrong, Steve!

Y'all are a wacky bunch, all right!

That's our lawyer, right?
God, are we in trouble.

[SHERIFF RILLY] You simple-minded
pea-brain lump of cow paddy!

I get to go up to Loyal Gorge
once or twice a season,

and you, you dim-witted numb...

You better be looking out for me, man.

Keep one eye on the door,
wherever you are, cos some day

I'm gonna ride in there
and I'm gonna wipe you out.

- Let's go, let's go. Come on, Billy.
- You understand?

- Come on, Billy!
- I'm gonna wipe you out!

- You fat...
- Come on!

All right, all right.

- Come on, Billy!
- I'm gonna wipe you out, man!

[BAGMAN] Hey, come on!

- '5-42.'
- 'Go ahead.'

[MAN SPEAKING ON RADIO]

[WOMAN SPEAKING ON RADIO]

That's cos of me, isn't it?

[MAN SPEAKING ON RADIO]

[CRYING]

- Where you going?
- Lawrence!

- What about the others?
- They went on ahead last night.

Lin took 'em on ahead to Lawrence.

I told her to wait. I told her, I told
everybody to wait till I got back.

I told 'em to set up camp
and wait till I got back.

Nobody goes anywhere in this outfit
without my permission.

That's it! That's enough!

I ain't gonna listen to this, man,
not after last night.

You wanted the Bakersfield jail,
you got it, baby.

[CLOCK CHIMING]

Hi. I'm Sheila Farrow,
WCAP in Washington DC,

and this is Judy Rawls.

- Hi.
- Hi.

- And this is Joseph...
- Bontempi.

Joe Bontempi.

It means good time in Italian.

I'm not with Sheila here.
Tried to be, but couldn't score.

I got other business.
You know about it?

Well, I talked to Steve Lock about it.

Silver Bullet Enterprises.
Entertainment company out of DC.

We book Vegas mostly, but we send
our people all over the country.

Now, we're all together
on the insurance, right?

- Yeah, man stopped by yesterday.
- Steve?

- Yeah, hell of a nice feller.
- Yeah, he's great.

- You're not a real priest, are you?
- You're goddamn right.

No, just kidding.
No, I couldn't have any fun.

You're trying to sell these kids.
We don't even know who they are.

- Yeah, well, that makes us even.
- Oh, no.

I mean, are you just hanging posters
or are you actually with the group?

- We're part of the group.
- Good.

Where can we find Billy Davis?

- Billy's not here yet.
- Uh-huh?

Oh, Sheila! My prayers
have been answered.

[SHEILA] I do a little spotting
for several magazines.

I figure if I can get some
great colour stills... I don't know.

Anyway, that's why Judy's here. But
that's not my first order of business.

You see, I will be producing a piece
that we're going to shoot in Brower.

Now, we feel there's a good chance
for the network to pick it up.

Wait a minute.
Are you talking about TV?

Of course.

- Tuck, you know about this?
- No, I don't.

- Hi. Louis Tucker.
- Hi.

Better known as Friar Tuck,
God's humble servant.

Also known as the, er... funky friar.

Ooh! Get down, get down!

[SHEILA] Yes, well, you see,
I thought I'd come ahead

and kind of plug into
what your little group is all about.

- But Billy Davis isn't in town yet.
- Oh!

[LAUGHING]

Hey, Morgan, these are TV people.

Er... not me. Uh, Joe Bontempi.

Silver Bullet Incorporated.

Anyway, they're looking for Billy.
I guess Steve set all this up.

Billy's in jail.

- [SHEILA] Are you serious?
- He might not make the show.

But, er... he's the star, isn't he?

- We can handle it without him.
- No problem.

[FANFARE]

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

That's great.

My friend and I here
are gonna sell you tickets.

Don't forget to say hi to the bird.
They love that.

You want a ticket, leave your name
out here in front of the courthouse, OK?

You're gonna love the show, I tell you!

I'm gonna come back. I'II trade you
that ice-cream cone for a ticket.

How much you having?

Hey, mister, get on down here!
Buy a ticket!

This is the greatest show on wheels.

Meet me in front of the courthouse!

Yeah, yeah, see that?

You can't miss this ride.
The concept's...

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

[HORN TOOTS]

[STEVE] Well, shoot!

You sprung him.
I'm missing out on all the fun this trip.

- How you doing, Steve?
- [DOOR SQUEAKS]

Ah. Ooh.

My God. What hit you,
the Pittsburgh Steelers?

No. Bakersfield Cowboys.

- Merl, you got any edibles on board?
- Some, yeah.

I'II tell you what,
I didn't sleep last night,

and I don't think I can turn around
and make it back to Lawrence.

I... I was thinking about taking some grub

and finding a place to camp out
around here somewhere.

Wa-oh-za-bo-zee-ooh! Ow!
That don't sound half bad.

We haven't had any sleep ourselves.
Let's look for a spot.

Steve, if you guys
are gonna camp out,

- let me take your bike into Lawrence.
- Nah.

You can ride in
with these guys tomorrow.

Nah. You ain't taking no long ride
on a bike, till that neck stitches.

- Merl, I just want to get back.
- Hey!

You gonna cool off and take it easy,

or do I have to shoot you
full of something?

[INSECTS CHIRPING]

This guy wants to handle us? What
do you mean, he wants to handle us?

I thought that's what you did.

Yeah, I can get you into Lawrence.
I can get you into Brower, even.

But... but I don't know the big circuit.
I'd still be with you for legal and all.

The big circuit?

You're gonna pull 15K out of Brower.

You could pull 30 or 40
out of some of these big county fairs.

Hell, Billy, I can't even get
those folks on the telephone.

They book acts from guys like this guy
that they've been dealing with all along.

We're not an act.

Yeah. Well, neither's bull-roping,
you know what I mean?

You do three or four
of these big gigs a summer,

you can do whatever the hell
you wanna for the rest of the year.

Hell, this guy's talking about setting
you up with all fancy new costumes.

He's even talking
about setting up some deal

with some cycle manufacturer.

I'm surprised you even brought
this guy around, Steve.

Well, damn it, Billy,
I'm just trying to help you along.

You guys is the most fun I get in my life.

I just don't want to see you all break up.

Damn it, Billy, you're all stone broke
most of the time.

And you take in every damn long hair

that knows how to make
a pair of sandals,

and you wanna pick up
the Blue Cross tab?

Do you have the slightest idea
what gas is selling for, or two-by-fours,

or hamburger, or anything else?

You think it's breaking up?

It's money, Billy.
It's all to do with money.

Money makes the world go round,
even your world.

No.

It's just getting too tough.

It's tough to live by the code.

I mean it's real hard to live
for something that you believe in.

People try it
and then they get tired of it,

like they get tired of their diets,

or exercise, or their marriage,

or their kids,

or their job, or themselves,

or they get tired of their god.

You can keep the money
you make off this sick world, lawyer.

I don't want any part of it.

Anybody who wants to live more for
themselves, he doesn't belong with us.

Let him go out and buy some pimpy
psychiatrist's paperback says it's OK.

Don't ask me to say it's OK.
It's not OK.

Once I was in a jail in Alabama,

and I got my ass kicked
just like I did last night,

only then it was because
I was a nigger lover.

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

- Well, I woke up in the morning...
- [MERLIN PLAYING HARMONICA]

And I didn't even have energy
enough to lick my wounds.

I found out I'd given up.

So, I tried to kill myself.

[MERLIN GRUNTS]

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

Tried to cut my wrist
with a bed spring. Ha-ha-ha!

See, I found out that
I'd given up on it all

because of where I was,
what was all around me.

Well, last night, I get my ass kicked
and I came up laughing,

because now I'm in Camelot.

[Grunts twice]

[BAGMAN] You see, the way I see it
is this. You got two separate fights.

The one for truth and justice and
the American way of life and all that,

that's gotta take a back seat
to the one for staying alive.

You gotta stay alive.

Man, you can have the most beautiful
ideals in the whole world.

But if you die, your ideals
are gonna die with you.

The important thing is
we gotta stay together.

We gotta keep this troop together.

And if keeping the troop going

means that we have to take
some of this promoter's money,

well, then I say let's take it
and get some sleep.

[HARMONICA STOPS]

[HARMONICA STARTS AGAIN]

Hey, get rid of that grass
before we get into camp tomorrow.

I don't want that shit around.

- Bagman.
- Huh? Oh.

Shh. Listen, I've been thinking
about what you said.

That stuff you said earlier?

I've been thinking about it.
I've been thinking about it real hard.

- There's not two different fights.
- What?

There can't be two different fights.

You've got to fight for your ideals,
and if you die, your ideals don't die.

The code that we're living by
is the troop.

The troop is our code.
I can't let people walk on that idea.

- Billy.
- I can't!

[BIKE REVS]

- What the hell's going on?
- Billy's using your bike.

- [PLAYS HARMONICA]
- [LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING]

- Where's the wine?
- Here.

But you get your food and your supplies.

And it is right that everybody gets
the same amount of spending money.

All the decisions are made here.

But the merchants,
they're like serfs, you know.

- Only the knights can make decisions.
- The King makes the final decision.

On the advice of the knights.

We could all take in a little more cash
if we didn't spend so much on weapons.

Yeah, and a lot less on parts, too.

[MORGAN] Ah, our King.

- Billy Davis?
- Himself.

[FIRST MERCHANT] Oh, yeah, the
goddamned knights have it the cushiest.

My God, he's hurt.

I mean we all understand
they're big brave machos,

but things are getting out of hand!

They don't care what they smash up.

We blow five bikes a week, parts
cost a fortune, and those lances!

Then they let the townies
ride with the stuff!

Hey, look, you don't like it?

Get out!

Do you think the people...
do you think the people show up here

to buy your goddamn jewellery?

Your pots, your corn?

Why don't you go sell them
in some shopping mall somewhere?

I just spent last night in jail

with a man who got his head beat in
for something he believed in!

And if you don't believe in it,
then get the hell out of here!

You don't know what we were
talking about. All we were saying is...

What is this?
What is this? A council meeting?

Huh? This is a council meeting.

You cannot have a council meeting
without everybody being here!

You cannot have a council meeting
without everyone being here!

Oh, go shove
your goddamn council meeting!

Yeah?

Yeah? That's... that's a 20 dollar fine.
That is a 20 dollar fine.

You can pay me right now or you can
get your ass right out of here.

Oh, man.

We're already gone, Billy.

Hey, Billy, we're just trying to get
some things together for you, man.

Where's Merlin?

Merlin's not here.

I'm not here.

I'm not here!

Lin, you know this. You know...
Where's Tuck? Where the hell is Tuck?

Now this is a picture I'd like to get.

My photographer caught
with her pants down.

I'II drink to that.

- [HARMONICA PLAYING]
- [LAUGHTER]

- Whoa!
- [LAUGHTER AND SQUEALING]

Stop it!

- Let me help. That's too low.
- [LAUGHTER]

You got it all over you.

[LAUGHTER STOPS]

What the hell are you doing?

There's a council meeting
going on out there.

- Who are you?
- [JUDY CLEARING THROAT]

Who's she?

- Are you with that guy out there?
- Yes.

Are you with that guy
in the suit out there? Huh?

- Yes.
- Yes?

Oh!

Shut the door!

Ah, shit.

Hi.

- [LAUGHS]
- I didn't order this!

Lin, I wanna talk to you.

I wouldn't take it personally, Joe.
You know how talent feels about agents.

- Christ, he's a lunatic! Look at this!
- [LAUGHS]

I came all the way out here
to talk to him!

The man does not work for me!

Well, I wouldn't worry about it, Joe.
This one's much better-looking.

It can't be done, Lin.

This...

this can't be done.

I took a major chance in my life
to do this.

I'd just gotten to the point
where I'd given up on fantasies.

I gave up on fantasies a long time ago.

And then you show up...

with this fantasy-intense dream.

I wanted you, not your dream.

But enough of that dream
rubbed off on me.

I'm vulnerable again.

And now you tell me it can't be done?

I could have told you that two years ago.

Two years.

You're still here.

I'm here.

I don't know if it's because of you
any more, Billy, but I'm here.

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Hey, what's your problem?

Hey!

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Hey, bad news.

- What's wrong?
- It looks really like trouble.

A lot of these local guys
came in all duded up.

Some made their own armour. Bad.

So, er... we'II see you guys in DC?

Now, you're sure you can get the riders?

Because I'm gonna work right now.

- Bookings, costumes, publicity.
- I can get the riders, right?

- [WHISTLES]
- This here is...

All right, all right. You know, this is
looking a lot better than I had hoped.

You see, the smaller the group,
the juicier the split.

Just like big rock groups.

You, see, a big group,
nobody makes any money.

I handle small groups only.
There's more bread.

They are happier.

And if they are happy, I am happy,

My brother, are you happy?

[CHUCKLES] What's your name again?

- Marhalt.
- Marhalt. No, I mean your real name.

- Marhalt.
- Right.

Hey, Bors, who's the dude?

- Some promoter from DC, man.
- Excuse me.

Morgan and a bunch of guys,
they're leaving with him.

Half the group's going, I swear.

- Could you stop that for now, OK?
- Right.

Half the group's leaving, I swear it.

- Alan, I think I'm gonna pull out.
- Look, I asked you to stop that.

That is professional equipment.
Let go!

Good. Go take some pictures of birds.

Hey, she's OK.
She's my friend.

The beauty is really a beast.

I just told her you were a nice guy.

- Hey, Bors, you pulling out?
- Yeah.

Billy's out of commission.
Everybody's cutting.

We're not gonna make Brower.
There's no bread.

Are you going with Morgan?

Nah, man. That guy's a real asshole
he's going with.

I don't know. I'm just gonna...
I don't know, just ride out of here.

- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]
- The whole thing's over, man.

I've made a decision.

When this thing is over today
I'm taking off with this guy.

I mean, he's offering me the world
and this is rapidly going into the toilet.

And I deserve to be king
so I'm forming my own kingdom.

Pardon me, but you didn't win the right.
You didn't win the crown.

Oh, geez, come on.

I beat Billy in Bakersfield.
I've been beating him regularly.

And I don't want his crown.

That's a crown of thorns,
if you know what I mean.

Look, maybe I'm missing
something here, you know?

I mean, if this breaks...
when this breaks up...

You know, I'm like you, a trade school
dropout. I mean, I love these bikes.

These bikes make me very happy
and I love what I do.

Pardon me, but you also love yourself.

Well, that's not so bad, either.

You should try it some time.

- You bastard.
- See?

I gotta love myself.
Everybody else thinks I'm a bastard.

- I need a mechanic.
- No.

If I'm gonna sit around
and wait for you at night,

I might as well be
where I have my friends.

I mean, at least I can get up
a game of cards or something.

Now, see, why do you do that?

Why do you make yourself out
to be such a loser all the time?

I'm not the loser, Morgan.

There's nobody
I'm interested in right now but you.

But some day there's gonna be,

and that's the gamble you take
every time you go away.

He'II be back. They'II all be back.
I give it two weeks.

God damn you!

How can you be so blind about
everything in your life? Mor...

Can't you understand? This isn't
just a roadside carny any more.

Not for some of us, anyway.

It's a lot more than that.
It's a whole lot more.

If you can't get some sort
of spiritual fix out of this,

then... then you belong
with that loudmouth hype artist.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[BIKE REVS]

[BIKES REVVING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

Damn it!

And so, my... my lords and ladies,

the noble Sir Ban will ride
against the valiant Dame Rocky.

- Shit!
- Rocky and Ban.

It's all right.
Will she get through just one more?

- Yeah, one more, but that's about it.
- That's all she wrote.

And to us, my lords and ladies, the
champion of the day is truly a champion,

- honoured and rewarded.
- Ah!

[PIPPIN]
There is a purse for the champion,

- but more importantly...
- Jesus!

Until the next games, he will sit at
an honoured place in the King's favour,

for being champion of the games
is no small thing to a knight.

[CROWD CHEERING]

Does this mean I don't have
to do dishes tonight, my liege?

[GRUNTING]

- Come on, let's go.
- No, no, hand weapons.

Your choice.

- Joe.
- Don't put up the rail.

- Here you go.
- Don't put up the rail.

What the hell's going on around here?

[CROWD CHEERING]

- I can't raise my arm, Merlin.
- Sit right down there.

Aah!

- Hey, they getting too rough out there.
- Shit, it's out of control.

Well, er... Rocky and Ban
seem to be a little...

What difference does it make?

- Trumpets!
- [DISCO MUSIC STARTS]

Are you leaving with the rest of them?

No.

Would you get back up there, please?

OK.

Thanks.

I'II go in for you, if you want.

You'd do that for me, wouldn't you?

Sure.

I won't be nearly as good as you.

My God.

[MUSIC OFF]

[SHOUTING]

[CROWD] Music! Music! Music!

Music! Music! Music! Music!

All right, come on, you guys.
Start the music, huh? Let's go.

- [CROWD] Music! Music!
- Come on, look alive, look alive.

- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]
- Noble knights.

- These brave fighters.
- [CROWD CHEERING]

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

[PIPPIN] Brave fighters who...

They're gonna kill each other.

- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]
- [CROWD SHOUTING]

God damn.

It's two years' worth of grudges,
Morgan. It's their last shot.

- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]
- [CROWD CHEERING]

- They're crazy.
- Yeah, they are. They're crazy.

You see,
that's what makes them sellable.

[CHEERING]

She won! Rocky won!
My lords and...

[MOUTHS] Oh, my God, the bike.

The bike!

Jennifer!

Come on, get back, get back.

Oh, Jesus!

Somebody get me a stretcher!

Ladies and gentlemen, please!
Everything is under control.

Please, now... now just stay
where you are.

Get back! Come on! Get back!

[SHOUTING]

Normally, we do invite people from the
town to compete against the knights,

but obviously today we will not do that.

You guys picked
the wrong day to get cute.

[CROWD SHOUTING]

Let's go play too, huh?

This is your lucky day, sweetheart.
I got a lot of energy after a big fight.

- Oh, I'm counting on that.
- Mm-hm.

[GROWLS]

[CROWD SHOUTING]

[CHEERING]

- All right.
- Come on, let's go, let's go.

Stay out of this, Morgan.
I'm gonna take care of this one myself.

Go for it!

Give me my lance. Thank you.

[SINGING]

If we get out of this alive,
will you be my lover?

[MICROPHONE ECHOES] Yes!

[CROWD CHEERING AND APPLAUDING]

Well, we just married on radio.

[MUSICIANS PLAYING]

Oh!

[CHEERING]

[CROWD APPLAUDING]

- I got this guy!
- No, Alan.

I've been waiting for this guy
for a long time, man.

He can't fight! He's hurt bad.

Take me!

[BIKE REVS]

Jesus, Billy! What are you doing?

If you refuse to fight, then yield!

Get off the field! This battle is mine!

I'm not gonna fight you!
What the hell's the matter with you?

Holy shit! Is that real?

[CROWD CHEERING]

All right, damn it! Come on!

[CROWD SHOUTING]

Yield.

I don't want to hurt you any more.
You have to yield.

[CHEERING]

[BIKES REVVING]

Oh! Are you OK?

Give him some water. Here, sip.

Look at me. Oh.

Blood.

[SIREN WAILING]

Shit.

[CHEERING]

[CROWD CHEERING]

I just need some time, Lin.

I gotta get out of here for a while.

I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I just need to take a ride.

Sheriff was by.

Said that woman's gonna be all right.

Well, thank the Lord for something.

What's the matter, Steve?
You afraid the premium was going up?

[CHUCKLING]

[COUGHING]

[GASPING]

Beat the blackbird, magician.

Kicked his round ass square.
Don't know if you beat him.

Did they go?

We'II just have to wait and see.

Steve? If you would...

could you find out, er...
how long we can stay here?

How much it'd cost us?

- Sure.
- Thanks.

- How you doing, Luke?
- I don't believe it!

- I just don't believe it!
- Sam, how you doing?

- Hi, Alan.
- You guys look great.

- Yeah?
- You look just great.

Who are these guys?

Well, that's Dylan and this is Morgan.

Oh, wow. Another Morgan.
That's all we need, man.

Geez, I haven't seen you guys
since I left St Vincent's.

[BURBLES]

I didn't even know
if you'd still be up here for sure.

Oh, we're here forever.

Well, we're here for a couple of days.

- Think you can handle it?
- Sure.

Do you think we can handle that?
Come on inside. Come on.

- Aah!
- Come on.

- See you guys later.
- Yeah, all right.

Come on in here.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, nice, nice.
I give you a three-five, Morgan.

And he can dive, too?

Give me... dope!

- [CHUCKLING]
- Don't get it wet.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hey! All right!

Hey! What is going on here?

- [BONTEMPI] What is this?
- [TUCK] This is it!

This is decadent.
This is Washington DC decadence.

- I love it.
- All right!

- Did I promise you good times?
- You did!

- You did so!
- [BONTEMPI] Well, OK! Well, OK!

Say hi to Jeannie over here.
That's Sheila.

- That's Judy.
- Hi!

- That's Tuck.
- Looking good.

- [BONTEMPI] And there's Morgan.
- I'm going inside.

- [TUCK] Well, come on in.
- [BONTEMPI] Yeah, in a minute.

Would you fix me a drink, please?

- What would you like?
- Anything. Triple anything.

Hey. Er... saw the armour. It looks great.

It's not gonna be ready for a couple
of weeks, though. It doesn't matter.

I got a great suit for you
for tomorrow for the photo session.

That's AM, paisan.
I want you awake and looking good.

He always looks good.

Hey, er... and everything's OK
with the bikes, too.

Take delivery on Wednesday.
Wait till you see 'em.

Gorgeous. Custom designed.
Wait till you see the Hummers, man.

Morgan, before you go,

what I need from you is your signature
on just a few documents.

Insurance forms.

It's just so you don't sue us
if you fall off your bike, you know?

You got workman's comp there.
I'II talk to you later, all right?

[TUCK] Hey, Joe.
Look at this. You see this?

We had a child while you were gone.

Say hi to Joe. He's the boss.

[FALSETTO] Baby love Joe!

Joe smooth!

I gotta get rid of Tuck.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, Jesus.

- You really are a hunk.
- [CHUCKLES]

Oh, God. I wish he wasn't coming back.

Er... you wish he wasn't coming back?

Louis, the guy I live with.

[LAUGHS]

Ah!

Now what the hell did you expect?

You didn't think I could afford
all this myself, did you?

[LAUGHS]

[BLOWS RASPBERRY]

[PHOTOGRAPHER]
Need a little attitude right here.

- [MUSIC PLAYING]
- Quiet, please. Look that way.

[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]

Yeah, look up here.

[PHOTOGRAPHER]
Look at him like he's real hot.

- [LAUGHTER AND WHOOPING]
- [KNIGHT] He is real hot.

[PHOTOGRAPHER] Morgan,
you look right in here, OK?

[KNIGHT] Hey, Morgan,
when's our turn, man?

[KNIGHT 2] Now don't be greedy, now.

Morgan. Morgan, please concentrate.
Thank you.

- What are you doing after the shot?
- OK, everybody think medieval sex.

How come Judy can't shoot this stuff?

But Judy can shoot this stuff.

There's no point
in Judy shooting this stuff.

This is not documentary work.

What she does is documentary work,
which is...

This is studio work. This is...

- You've done studio, haven't you?
- Uh-huh.

- What do you think of it?
- I love my work.

Well, look at it. It's porn. That's...
Look, see, they're set-up shots.

That's just... that's controlling the
environment. That's not real life, hm?

That's not real life.

- There'II be work, all right?
- Mm. OK.

- Trust me. Trust me.
- Mm-hm, I trust you. Yeah, OK.

- [MUSIC PLAYING]
- [LAUGHTER AND CHATTER]

[KNIGHTS LAUGHING]

Great shot!

♪ It's a pity there's just emptiness ♪

♪ But with sorrow there comes joy ♪

♪ And I would rather die in a hurricane ♪

♪ Than to never know the storm... ♪

[THUNDER]

♪ Fears I know, I face them ♪

♪ As my castle walls will fall ♪

♪ Oh, but I would let ♪
♪ Those castles tumble ♪

♪ Or I'd never love at all... ♪

- Keep playing.
- New song.

It's not finished yet.
I'II play it for you some day.

- Do you mind if I sit down?
- Please.

[THUNDER]

How long are we gonna stay here?

The rent's paid.

It's a nice place.

[THUNDER]

Till they come back.

- You think they're coming back?
- Yes.

I don't know, man.
Maybe some of them.

They'II all come back.

Well...

I know it's important to me, like
for us, to all still be here, you know?

But I'm not sure about them.

It's important for them, too.

Those guys, the stray sheep...

that's all I think about.

I got nothing left to give.
I take you all for granted.

I don't give you anything.

Man, you give us everything, man.

You give us, you know, a chance.

Yeah, but I don't pay you any attention.

[BOTH CHUCKLE]

I'm sorry about that.

Play your song, will you?

- Yeah, it's like... it's not finished yet.
- Well, finish it.

[SNORTS] Instant song.

Nah, I'II play it for you some day.

I promise.

Good.

[SHE HUMS TUNE]

I think that what Alan does
is... is, er... hero stuff.

Certainly more so than not.

I think what Alan does is, er...
anarchistic and rebellious,

to say nothing of the violence.

- What do you think hero stuff is?
- I don't know.

I guess, you know, like old movies
Brando was a part of.

Brando?

Brando's anti-anti-antihero.

What about Brando in The Wild One?

That's very close to Alan's
kind of thing, The Wild One.

There you have antihero as hero.

I think I got you there.

[MIMICS BRANDO] I'm not, er...

anti-anti-antihero.

I'm just, er... anti-anti-chicken.

Remember that night
in a restaurant in a garden,

waiter comes to my table and
he says, Kid, this ain't your night.

We just ran out of fish.
You'II have to eat the chicken.

Hey! Hey, come on!
Can't we go and party or something?

[MIMICKING BRANDO]
You was my brother, Charlie.

You should have
looked out for me a little bit.

You should have looked out for me

so I wouldn't have to be stuck
with a bad piece of meat.

[CHUCKLES] I gotta go.

- I love you. Shit, what can I say?
- All right.

We got something to do.

[LAUGHING]

[MIMICS BRANDO] I could a had class!

[SHE SNIFFS]

Oh, man.

I really don't understand this.

I know you don't.

Oh.

I'm sorry.

[CRYING]

Oh!

Oh...

fuck.

I know what you're saying,
but... what? What?

Hey!

Oh, man.
Where the hell have you been?

Oh, shit, Morgan. Bad craziness.

There can be only one king, Morgan.

You can't just split off and start over
again whenever you want.

We both know that inside.

There can only be one king
at one time.

That's the law.

♪ - Going home ♪
♪ - Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ♪

♪ - We're going home ♪
♪ - Ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba... ♪

Billy.

Hey, Billy.

- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]
- [CHEERING AND CHATTER]

Alan!

Hi.

- Hi.
- I'm back.

- [MUSICIANS PLAYING]
- [CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]

Urn...

Stop it!

[WHOOPING AND CHATTER]

[ALAN] Billy?

My king.

If you'II allow me, I will fight for you
in defence of the crown.

These others will challenge.

Shit, I can't talk like that.

Morgan's agreed to fight

and if you promise to sit on your ass
and stay out of the way,

there's still some of us
that'II fight for you.

- All right.
- All right!

Hey! Come on! Let's go!
We've got a lot of work to do!

How in the hell can I tell you
how much it cost, huh?

You cannot put a price on reputation.
My reputation is at stake.

Look at that! That's grand larceny!
That's... that's grand theft auto!

- Oh, look. Look, look.
- Cycle! Grand theft cycle, man!

- Which is worse!
- Let's bring it down a few steps.

Let's just bring it down.
Now let's just talk like this.

- Yeah, OK, fine, fine.
- All right? Now, look.

The motel they smashed up,
now, they gave me a figure,

and they were real happy and
business-like and co-operated with me.

Now, all I'm asking from you is...

What are you telling me?
You're telling me that the deal is off?

That they don't have to
honour their commitments?

- Look. Look! Look, look!
- They have signed contracts, man!

If you want to know the future,
you'd better go talk to Merlin...

because I sure as hell can't tell
who's gonna win or who's gonna lose.

Alan wins, then Billy's still King.

Lord knows what he's gonna do.

Now, if Morgan wins,

how in the hell am I supposed
to know what he's gonna do?

Well, I don't care
who wins or loses, man!

That's not my business!
I am not a bookie!

Can I interest you in a screwdriver?

- Try some knobs.
- Knobs? OK.

There are only about 24.

- [FEEDBACK WHINES]
- Ow! Ow!

- Jesus! Are you hurt?
- Forget it, forget it.

Punch, Punch!
Come on, sit down, sit down.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Now, look,
you can figure it out better than I can.

- [BIKES REVVING]
- [LOW CHATTER]

- What are you guys doing?
- Getting ready for you.

I need a hack driver for tomorrow.
Got anybody?

Sure.

Somebody from my side, on my side.

- We play fair.
- Yeah, I know.

Take green.

Thanks.

[FANFARE PLAYS]

OK!

- Whoo! Bitching, bro!
- OK, guy!

Say no more!

- What are the boundaries?
- No boundaries.

Wherever it takes you.

OK. Now, this is a toughie.

What constitutes surrender?

Surrender?

You gonna surrender?

Are you gonna surrender?

Nobody's gonna surrender,

and I don't think it's necessary
for anybody to get hurt bad.

So, any knight separated
from his machine is out.

[HARMONICA PLAYING]

Christ, I feel like
I caused the whole thing.

[BILLY] Hey, hey, hey.
Steve, you didn't cause anything.

- I caused it.
- [MERLIN] That's right.

See, Billy the King
turned around one day

and seen how many of us
was looking to him.

He say, What's all this noise?

And what's all these folks
looking to me for?

They think you're trying to look bad,
trying to get your ass whooped.

They think you're some little cat trying
to prove you don't deserve to be king.

You're saying, In you,
look past the mist,

see what you be, your own majesty,
don't try to find yourself in me.

I ain't that great, no-how.
Follow your own soul.

[PLAYS HARMONICA]

Dig it.

[BIRDSONG]

[FANFARE PLAYS]

[BIKES REVVING]

For the crown!

The crown lives forever!

[FANFARE PLAYING]

[LITTLE JOHN] These are
the weapons you have chosen.

[FANFARE PLAYING]

[LITTLE JOHN] You may not
draw weapons from the rack.

Good luck.

[REVVING]

[FANFARE PLAYING]

[DRUM ROLL]

[FANFARE]

Oh, boy.

[SHOUTING AND CHATTER]

[WHISTLING]

[SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING AND CHATTER]

[SHOUTING AND WHISTLING]

God damn that bike!

It's not your fault, it's not that...

[CHEERING]

Come on, Joe, jump on it!

Come on,
you dumb stupid-ass machine!

Watch it, Alan!

All right, Bors! Yeah! Yeah!

[CHEERING]

[SHOUTING AND WHISTLING]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

- You're an asshole, Ewing!
- Oh, yeah? It's Ewain, schmuck!

Ah! Come on, let's get the...

- All right!
- Hey, hey, babe.

Let's just keep it in the family.

Basics, Morgan!
You forgot your basics!

Ha-ha! Basics, Rocky!

Basics!

[APPLAUSE AND CHEERING]

Look out, look out, look out!

Rescue! Hey, Ban!

- Let's just keep moving, OK?
- All right.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

[WHISTLING]

[SHOUTING]

[WHISTLING AND WHOOPING]

Driver! Rescue driver!

[SHOUTING]

[CHEERING]

What is that? Some kind of new move?

Improvisation.
It was sheer improvisation.

Come on, let's go.

[ROCKY] Come on! Get off the field!

Come on!

[SHOUTING]

[CHEERING]

Alan!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING AND WHISTLING]

[CHATTER AND SHOUTING]

[SHOUTING AND CHATTER]

[CHEERING]

[SHOUTING]

[SOBS]

[CHUCKLES]

Morgan.

You know those contracts?

- Burn 'em, baby.
- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

[CHEERING]

[LAUGHS]

[CLICKS TONGUE]

Oh.

I love you... my master.

Goodbye.

[GROANING]

Oh! Oh!

Oh!

Aaah!

[GRUNTING]

[DINERS APPLAUDING]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[GROANING]

[CHEERING, WHISTLING AND APPLAUSE]

[BIRDSONG]

[BELL CHIMING]

[ALL] I pledge allegiance to the flag
of the United States of America

and to the republic for which it stands,

one nation under God...

[TEACHER] Indivisible with liberty and...

Excuse me.

[CHILDREN MURMURING]

All right, class.

Class, please come to order.

[THUNDER]

[HORN BLARES]

[THUNDER]

[GUITAR PLAYING]

♪ Sitting here alone in my father's home ♪

♪ Tomorrow I'II be leaving ♪
♪ I'II be on my own... ♪

[GUITAR PLAYING]

♪ To the hills as a child I'II go ♪

♪ But I'd rather be a wanderer ♪
♪ Than to never go at all... ♪

[GUITAR PLAYING]

[THUNDER]

♪ In my soul a song lies sleeping ♪

♪ Waiting to be born ♪

♪ I can hear weeping ♪

♪ Deep inside I can feel her dance ♪

♪ Go and run to me, lover ♪

♪ - Touch my innocence... ♪
♪ - [THUNDER] ♪

♪ I see that life is an open road ♪

♪ There'II be people who stay ♪
♪ There'II be people who go ♪

♪ I know at first it pains me so ♪

♪ To think I'm just learning how ♪

♪ To let go... ♪

[THUNDER]

♪ It's a pity there's just emptiness ♪

♪ But with sorrow there comes joy ♪

♪ And I would rather die in a hurricane ♪

♪ Than to never know the storm ♪

♪ Fears I know, I face them ♪

♪ As my castle walls will fall ♪

♪ Oh, but I would let ♪
♪ Those castles tumble ♪

♪ Or I'd never love at all ♪

[THUNDER]