Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,952 --> 00:00:05,326
- What's that?
- My high school yearbook.
2
00:00:05,498 --> 00:00:08,335
Hey, do you remember a
girl named Jamie Eckelberry?
3
00:00:08,503 --> 00:00:10,248
- No.
- Yeah, sure you do.
4
00:00:10,423 --> 00:00:12,632
She used to hang out
at the house all the time.
5
00:00:12,803 --> 00:00:16,056
Oh, yeah. Eckelberry Hound.
6
00:00:16,977 --> 00:00:19,387
Not a name she was fond of.
7
00:00:19,607 --> 00:00:24,356
Hey, I didn't make it up.
I just spread it around. What about her?
8
00:00:24,532 --> 00:00:27,738
Oh, she called the alumni association
and tracked me down.
9
00:00:27,913 --> 00:00:31,784
How does that work? They let her
sniff one of your sweaters?
10
00:00:32,004 --> 00:00:35,708
She e-mailed me. She's in town
on business, and I invited her over.
11
00:00:35,928 --> 00:00:40,059
Great. I'll get out of your way.
Just keep her off the good rug.
12
00:00:40,269 --> 00:00:43,807
Very funny. No. For your
information, it's not a date.
13
00:00:43,984 --> 00:00:47,023
She's just a friend who has become
very successful in her field.
14
00:00:47,240 --> 00:00:51,407
Oh, that's nice that she
has a field to run around in.
15
00:00:52,666 --> 00:00:56,370
- It's getting old, Charlie.
- In people years or dog years?
16
00:00:57,676 --> 00:01:00,595
Sorry. Oh, look.
You remember Miss Hanrahan?
17
00:01:00,806 --> 00:01:05,057
- Sure. I had her for sophomore English.
- I had her in the teachers' lounge.
18
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,268
Oh, that's Jamie. Be nice.
19
00:01:09,489 --> 00:01:12,527
I'm always nice. Ask Miss Hanrahan.
20
00:01:13,705 --> 00:01:16,032
- I'm serious.
- Relax. I'm just gonna say hello...
21
00:01:16,209 --> 00:01:18,881
...scratch her behind the ear,
and then I'm out of here.
22
00:01:20,842 --> 00:01:22,718
- You done with the dog jokes?
- Yes.
23
00:01:22,930 --> 00:01:26,099
- Good.
- I hope she looks fetching.
24
00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:31,442
Okay, I guess I had one more.
25
00:01:33,532 --> 00:01:35,573
- Alan.
- Jamie.
26
00:02:04,421 --> 00:02:08,886
Do you remember how Stuart Negelman
used to tell everybody you were gay?
27
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:11,387
Don't remind me.
I had one Boy George album...
28
00:02:11,559 --> 00:02:14,516
...and suddenly
I'm queen of the fairies.
29
00:02:14,732 --> 00:02:17,225
You'll be happy to know
I ran into him in New York.
30
00:02:17,403 --> 00:02:20,739
- And? Knew it.
- Gay.
31
00:02:21,076 --> 00:02:23,285
Okay, here we go.
32
00:02:23,456 --> 00:02:27,326
Two margaritas,
and a rum and Diet Coke.
33
00:02:27,505 --> 00:02:29,665
- Thank you, Charlie.
- You're welcome.
34
00:02:30,677 --> 00:02:32,718
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
35
00:02:36,104 --> 00:02:40,853
So Stuart Negelman: Buttoned-down,
or singing show tunes on a float?
36
00:02:41,071 --> 00:02:43,778
Very macho. Owns a gym in SoHo.
37
00:02:43,951 --> 00:02:46,575
Speaking of which, you look
like you're in good shape.
38
00:02:46,748 --> 00:02:50,583
- I have kept up with the hacky sack.
- Good for you.
39
00:02:50,755 --> 00:02:54,043
And you. I cannot get over what
a beautiful woman you've become.
40
00:02:54,261 --> 00:02:58,927
- Oh, stop it. You're embarrassing me.
- Too bad. It's true.
41
00:03:04,029 --> 00:03:08,362
Charlie, that's lovely. You still play.
42
00:03:08,579 --> 00:03:10,324
Just professionally.
43
00:03:11,376 --> 00:03:15,507
- You became a musician?
- More a composer. Gotta pay the bills.
44
00:03:17,178 --> 00:03:20,347
Play the jingle you wrote for the
feminine deodorant commercial.
45
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:22,893
Okay.
46
00:03:23,314 --> 00:03:28,478
Fresh as a summer breezeClean as a mountain spring
47
00:03:28,866 --> 00:03:32,202
No. You wrote that? I love that.
48
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,753
Hey, hey, did I tell you
that I was voted...
49
00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:39,256
...Chiropractor of the Year by the San
Fernando Valley Chiropractic Association?
50
00:03:39,468 --> 00:03:42,306
Oh, that's fantastic, Alan.
You must be very proud.
51
00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:47,644
Well, it's not pride so much as the
satisfaction I get from helping people.
52
00:03:48,944 --> 00:03:52,398
Carefree, so carefree
53
00:03:52,617 --> 00:03:56,320
What every woman wants to be
54
00:03:59,045 --> 00:04:01,799
Hey. Hey, you know
what would be fun?
55
00:04:01,967 --> 00:04:05,173
A session of Dungeons & Dragons.
Like the old days, you know?
56
00:04:05,348 --> 00:04:09,480
- Just the two of us.
- Wow, I haven't played in years.
57
00:04:09,689 --> 00:04:12,064
Or we can go down to the beach
and go for a swim.
58
00:04:12,277 --> 00:04:15,281
- I didn't bring a suit.
- So my plan is working.
59
00:04:17,203 --> 00:04:20,871
You know, I think I'll take a rain check.
Do you mind if I use your restroom?
60
00:04:21,085 --> 00:04:22,628
Down the hall on the right.
61
00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,506
Thank you.
62
00:04:28,390 --> 00:04:30,515
Don't you have enough women?
63
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:34,937
No. Anyway, you said she
was just an old friend.
64
00:04:35,152 --> 00:04:36,778
Well, that was before I saw her.
65
00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:39,487
Come on, I spent years
laying the groundwork for this.
66
00:04:39,702 --> 00:04:42,741
And yet you never erected
anything on the site.
67
00:04:42,958 --> 00:04:44,917
Because she didn't look like that then.
68
00:04:45,129 --> 00:04:47,004
Oh, shame on you, Alan Harper.
69
00:04:48,050 --> 00:04:51,220
Don't you know a woman is so much
more than what's on the outside?
70
00:04:51,432 --> 00:04:54,435
She's a mountain spring,
a summer breeze and I saw her first.
71
00:04:54,896 --> 00:04:56,641
What are you, 11?
72
00:04:56,858 --> 00:05:00,859
Come on. She's smart, she's beautiful,
she's the kind of woman who...
73
00:05:01,074 --> 00:05:03,365
- You could never get?
- Exactly.
74
00:05:06,292 --> 00:05:08,535
Well, if she's that important to you.
75
00:05:08,755 --> 00:05:10,665
She is, she is. Very much.
76
00:05:10,842 --> 00:05:13,050
- Okay, fine. I'm out of it.
- Really?
77
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:14,806
Happy birthday.
78
00:05:14,974 --> 00:05:18,892
Isn't that presumptuous? You think you
can just give this woman as a gift?
79
00:05:19,065 --> 00:05:22,152
- Okay, forget it.
- No, no. Happy birthday to me.
80
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:27,828
Listen, I have an early meeting in the
morning, so I should probably get going.
81
00:05:28,039 --> 00:05:31,791
Oh, no, no. The night is so young,
and Charlie was just leaving.
82
00:05:31,963 --> 00:05:34,967
Yeah, if I don't start drinking now,
I'll be up all night.
83
00:05:35,845 --> 00:05:38,765
I really have to get going.
What about dinner tomorrow night?
84
00:05:39,226 --> 00:05:41,185
- That would be great.
- Okay, terrific.
85
00:05:41,355 --> 00:05:43,396
Why don't the three of us
meet at 7?
86
00:05:43,818 --> 00:05:45,729
The... The three of us?
87
00:05:47,157 --> 00:05:49,697
Oh, gee. Tomorrow night? I can't.
88
00:05:49,912 --> 00:05:53,865
Oh, come on, Charlie.
I'm only in town for a few days.
89
00:05:54,045 --> 00:05:57,214
It wouldn't be the same
without you. Right, Alan?
90
00:05:57,384 --> 00:06:01,136
That's... That's true.
It would be different. But still good.
91
00:06:01,350 --> 00:06:04,139
No, no, no. You guys have
a lot of catching up to do.
92
00:06:04,355 --> 00:06:07,275
I insist. Charlie, you have to come.
93
00:06:07,444 --> 00:06:09,735
Well, if it's okay with Alan...
94
00:06:10,825 --> 00:06:13,152
Of course.
95
00:06:13,371 --> 00:06:17,372
Okay, great. Then I will
see you both tomorrow.
96
00:06:17,546 --> 00:06:18,958
- Okay.
- Thank you.
97
00:06:19,132 --> 00:06:21,541
- Can't wait.
- I know. Me too. Good night.
98
00:06:21,720 --> 00:06:23,215
Bye.
99
00:06:26,854 --> 00:06:30,356
So I'll get you something else
for your birthday.
100
00:06:30,569 --> 00:06:32,362
You like hookers?
101
00:06:33,074 --> 00:06:35,198
Charlie, we agreed you're out.
Now stay out.
102
00:06:35,411 --> 00:06:37,821
- All right, fine. I won't go.
- Thank you.
103
00:06:40,546 --> 00:06:45,295
Wait! If you don't come,
she'll think I told you not to come.
104
00:06:45,513 --> 00:06:46,842
There is that possibility.
105
00:06:47,183 --> 00:06:49,854
That's your plan. To make me
look petty and insecure.
106
00:06:50,063 --> 00:06:52,472
Alan, I don't have to plan for that.
107
00:06:52,818 --> 00:06:56,735
Let me tell you something. You're coming
with us, whether you like it or not.
108
00:06:57,326 --> 00:06:59,201
All right.
109
00:07:00,039 --> 00:07:02,199
Wait!
110
00:07:03,128 --> 00:07:05,419
- We should take your new Mercedes.
- Fine.
111
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,470
- I should drive it so she thinks it's mine.
- Okay.
112
00:07:10,642 --> 00:07:12,552
Wait!
113
00:07:12,770 --> 00:07:15,180
She'll never believe
I drive a Mercedes.
114
00:07:16,110 --> 00:07:19,149
You'll drive my old Volvo
so that she thinks it's yours.
115
00:07:19,366 --> 00:07:24,115
Whatever. That just means you'll
be sitting in the backseat alone.
116
00:07:24,709 --> 00:07:26,370
Wait!
117
00:07:27,589 --> 00:07:31,970
Charlie, I can't believe that after
all these years, you're still single.
118
00:07:32,181 --> 00:07:33,724
Well...
119
00:07:37,941 --> 00:07:39,602
It's not that hard to believe.
120
00:07:39,778 --> 00:07:44,028
I'm a selfish, promiscuous,
commitment-phobic man.
121
00:07:44,202 --> 00:07:48,998
Alan, on the other hand, is a very
generous, loyal, one-woman kind of guy.
122
00:07:50,672 --> 00:07:52,251
Guilty.
123
00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:56,760
Why doesn't that surprise me?
124
00:07:56,934 --> 00:07:58,477
Now, what is surprising...
125
00:07:58,645 --> 00:08:02,895
...is to hear a man be so honest
and forthcoming about his flaws.
126
00:08:03,362 --> 00:08:07,695
Charlie, you are
a real breath of fresh air.
127
00:08:07,912 --> 00:08:09,823
Guilty.
128
00:08:12,921 --> 00:08:17,717
But if you really want a breath
of fresh air, take a lungful of Alan.
129
00:08:20,643 --> 00:08:22,602
He is a true gentleman.
130
00:08:22,814 --> 00:08:24,607
Oh, Alan's always been a gentleman.
131
00:08:24,776 --> 00:08:28,527
I remember one time we were kids. We
were in my bedroom playing Stratego...
132
00:08:28,699 --> 00:08:32,486
...and my blouse came unbuttoned,
and Alan, instead of sneaking a peek...
133
00:08:32,665 --> 00:08:38,755
...like a lot of guys would do, averted
his eyes and said, "Jamie, bosom."
134
00:08:39,302 --> 00:08:41,510
Really. Is that true, Alan?
135
00:08:41,723 --> 00:08:45,510
Pretty much. We were
playing Boggle, not Stratego.
136
00:08:45,730 --> 00:08:49,482
Well, there you go.
A gentleman. A better man than I.
137
00:08:49,696 --> 00:08:54,658
Oh, don't put yourself down, Charlie.
You seem like a wonderful man to me.
138
00:08:55,122 --> 00:08:59,123
Yeah, but you heard him. I'm better.
139
00:09:02,427 --> 00:09:04,552
Excuse me.
140
00:09:08,981 --> 00:09:11,818
I'll be right back.
I think he wants to talk.
141
00:09:12,028 --> 00:09:14,651
You know, you are such
a good brother.
142
00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:16,742
You have no idea.
143
00:09:21,962 --> 00:09:23,838
"Bosom"?
144
00:09:24,342 --> 00:09:26,252
Forget that.
What the hell are you doing?
145
00:09:26,429 --> 00:09:30,014
What? I'm trying to make you look
good. Turns out it's not that easy.
146
00:09:30,603 --> 00:09:33,013
You look like you're trying
to make me look good...
147
00:09:33,191 --> 00:09:34,900
...but you're making you look good.
148
00:09:35,069 --> 00:09:37,645
I don't know how,
but that's the net result.
149
00:09:37,824 --> 00:09:40,282
- Alan, you're being ridiculous.
- Am I? I think not.
150
00:09:40,454 --> 00:09:43,126
From the minute we walked in,
you've been sabotaging me.
151
00:09:43,334 --> 00:09:46,671
- How?
- How? Look at where I'm sitting.
152
00:09:46,882 --> 00:09:49,886
- What? You wanted to sit next to her.
- Yeah, and you let me.
153
00:09:51,432 --> 00:09:55,897
And now you get to stare into her eyes,
and I get to stare into her ear.
154
00:09:56,734 --> 00:09:58,894
What do you want from me?
Wanna change seats?
155
00:09:59,113 --> 00:10:00,739
Sure. That won't look suspicious.
156
00:10:00,908 --> 00:10:05,075
I'm just trying to help, Alan.
Well, how about that? I do have to pee.
157
00:10:07,378 --> 00:10:09,171
You wanna help me?
Stop talking me up.
158
00:10:09,340 --> 00:10:10,503
- It's killing me.
- Okay.
159
00:10:10,842 --> 00:10:13,252
Stop putting yourself down.
That's killing me too.
160
00:10:13,472 --> 00:10:16,226
- Got it.
- Just sit there and eat your dinner...
161
00:10:16,394 --> 00:10:17,724
...and I'll play your game.
162
00:10:17,897 --> 00:10:19,357
Fine.
163
00:10:19,525 --> 00:10:21,400
You wanna shake on it?
164
00:10:23,156 --> 00:10:25,234
You're disgusting.
165
00:10:25,452 --> 00:10:27,660
Yeah, I'm disgusting.
166
00:10:27,832 --> 00:10:30,835
At least I'm not the one
taking a squirt on my shoe.
167
00:10:34,385 --> 00:10:37,673
Let me tell you something
about my brother.
168
00:10:37,850 --> 00:10:41,553
He puts himself down,
but he is truly a wonderful man.
169
00:10:41,732 --> 00:10:46,777
I mean, here's a guy,
single, good-Iooking, talented...
170
00:10:46,949 --> 00:10:50,155
- Well, l...
- You're too modest.
171
00:10:50,372 --> 00:10:53,329
Talented, a ton of money.
172
00:10:53,503 --> 00:10:57,124
And what does he do when his brother
and nephew need a place to live?
173
00:10:57,301 --> 00:11:01,349
Does he complain about us
cramping his style? No.
174
00:11:01,517 --> 00:11:05,269
He opens up his home, and his heart.
175
00:11:05,441 --> 00:11:08,148
And frankly, I don't know
which one is bigger.
176
00:11:10,742 --> 00:11:14,411
You are an incredible human being.
177
00:11:16,211 --> 00:11:18,620
Can we get the damn check, please?
178
00:11:22,722 --> 00:11:25,726
Wait till you meet Jake.
He's a great kid.
179
00:11:25,895 --> 00:11:27,806
You're gonna love him. Right, Charlie?
180
00:11:28,024 --> 00:11:31,811
Don't oversell him, Alan.
He mostly sits around and eats.
181
00:11:31,989 --> 00:11:33,818
What do you guys like to do together?
182
00:11:34,035 --> 00:11:38,285
Oh, we do all kinds
of father-son things.
183
00:11:38,459 --> 00:11:43,458
- We go to the movies...
- Where he sits and eats.
184
00:11:43,635 --> 00:11:47,089
And we also build models...
185
00:11:47,851 --> 00:11:51,389
You know, airplanes, and
fly them off the deck.
186
00:11:51,608 --> 00:11:54,481
- That sounds like fun.
- Oh, it is. Jake loves it.
187
00:11:54,655 --> 00:11:56,614
I mean, he is a great kid.
188
00:11:56,826 --> 00:11:59,153
I can't wait to meet him.
189
00:11:59,330 --> 00:12:01,408
How about tomorrow afternoon?
190
00:12:01,584 --> 00:12:04,208
- Tomorrow sounds great.
- Good, good. It's a date.
191
00:12:04,381 --> 00:12:07,088
- So don't be late.
- Or we'll have to wait.
192
00:12:11,686 --> 00:12:13,764
Oh, okay. Here we are.
193
00:12:13,940 --> 00:12:17,858
Thank you so much.
I had a wonderful time.
194
00:12:19,492 --> 00:12:22,994
- I'll see you tomorrow.
- Good night.
195
00:12:29,218 --> 00:12:31,212
Good night, Charlie.
196
00:12:35,229 --> 00:12:36,772
Good night.
197
00:12:39,194 --> 00:12:41,438
To the Batcave, Alfred.
198
00:12:42,909 --> 00:12:44,488
Go to hell.
199
00:12:44,662 --> 00:12:47,701
I was just sitting here.
I didn't put her tongue in my mouth.
200
00:12:47,876 --> 00:12:49,455
You got tongue?
201
00:12:49,671 --> 00:12:52,378
Actually, looking back,
it was probably mine.
202
00:12:53,136 --> 00:12:55,261
Oh, relax. I'm just screwing with you.
203
00:12:55,432 --> 00:12:57,342
Besides, you're the one
who got the date.
204
00:12:57,519 --> 00:13:00,226
You had to pimp your kid
out to do it, but you got there.
205
00:13:00,441 --> 00:13:03,729
Hey, hey, there is nothing wrong
with bragging on my son.
206
00:13:03,905 --> 00:13:06,862
He's a reflection of me,
and if that compensates...
207
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:09,244
...for some of my social clumsiness...
208
00:13:09,457 --> 00:13:12,164
And maybe rustles up a little tail.
209
00:13:12,337 --> 00:13:13,963
I am not pimping him out.
210
00:13:14,132 --> 00:13:17,052
Don't bark at me. I'm proud of you.
211
00:13:17,847 --> 00:13:20,886
Thank you. And make yourself
scarce tomorrow.
212
00:13:21,061 --> 00:13:24,765
- I don't need any more of your help.
- Fine. You're on your own.
213
00:13:24,943 --> 00:13:27,781
Now, hush up and drive
Miss Daisy home.
214
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:31,573
Okay, Sky Captain. Ready to go?
215
00:13:31,747 --> 00:13:33,159
I guess.
216
00:13:33,334 --> 00:13:35,043
See how he loves this?
217
00:13:36,548 --> 00:13:38,542
Pilot to copilot. Contact.
218
00:13:39,178 --> 00:13:40,721
What?
219
00:13:41,807 --> 00:13:45,179
- Contact.
- Why are you talking like that?
220
00:13:46,482 --> 00:13:48,940
Just... Just start the engine.
221
00:13:49,822 --> 00:13:52,196
Here we go. Ready for liftoff?
222
00:13:52,368 --> 00:13:54,576
It's not a rocket ship, Dad.
223
00:13:54,747 --> 00:13:57,240
I know that, Jake.
224
00:14:00,341 --> 00:14:02,750
Hey, it actually works.
225
00:14:02,929 --> 00:14:04,722
Bring it up. Bring it up.
226
00:14:04,891 --> 00:14:07,051
- Okay.
- Come on, Jake, up, up. It's...
227
00:14:07,228 --> 00:14:08,688
- Don't yell.
- Give me that.
228
00:14:08,856 --> 00:14:10,601
- No, I'm doing it.
- Well, then do it.
229
00:14:10,818 --> 00:14:12,563
I am.
230
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:18,495
Is that it?
231
00:14:19,417 --> 00:14:22,789
No, go get it, and we'll patch
her back up, like we always do.
232
00:14:23,007 --> 00:14:26,129
Can we just order
a pizza and watch TV?
233
00:14:26,346 --> 00:14:27,925
Go get the plane.
234
00:14:29,352 --> 00:14:31,061
This sucks.
235
00:14:32,607 --> 00:14:35,646
"This sucks." Isn't he a hoot?
236
00:14:37,450 --> 00:14:39,360
He's great.
237
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,406
So...
238
00:14:42,584 --> 00:14:44,911
...here we are.
239
00:14:45,088 --> 00:14:46,750
Yep.
240
00:14:48,261 --> 00:14:52,178
I just cannot get over
how much you've changed.
241
00:14:52,644 --> 00:14:57,274
- You like?
- Yeah, me like. I mean... I mean, I like.
242
00:14:58,446 --> 00:14:59,822
So...
243
00:15:00,867 --> 00:15:02,660
...where's Charlie?
244
00:15:04,081 --> 00:15:05,874
This is all I could find.
245
00:15:08,756 --> 00:15:10,916
- Guess who that is.
- No way.
246
00:15:11,094 --> 00:15:14,596
- Way.
- What was going on with your hair?
247
00:15:15,769 --> 00:15:17,597
It's called a Jeri curl.
248
00:15:18,816 --> 00:15:21,570
It was my Michael Jackson period.
249
00:15:21,780 --> 00:15:23,573
Who's the tall guy next to you?
250
00:15:23,742 --> 00:15:25,866
Oh, that's me, Jake.
251
00:15:27,582 --> 00:15:29,956
Oh, sorry.
252
00:15:30,128 --> 00:15:32,253
Well, at least you look like a girl now.
253
00:15:32,883 --> 00:15:34,592
Thank you.
254
00:15:35,012 --> 00:15:36,840
Was Dad your boyfriend?
255
00:15:37,016 --> 00:15:39,176
Oh, no, no.
Jamie and I were just friends.
256
00:15:39,395 --> 00:15:42,102
Yeah, we were never that way.
257
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:44,442
Are you that way now?
258
00:15:45,489 --> 00:15:48,991
- Why don't you go watch TV?
- Finally.
259
00:15:53,086 --> 00:15:56,090
You know, Jamie, I've been thinking.
260
00:15:56,259 --> 00:15:59,713
You're single. I'm single.
Well, we have an awful lot in common.
261
00:15:59,932 --> 00:16:03,933
I mean, there's no reason
we couldn't try to be...
262
00:16:04,106 --> 00:16:06,860
...you know, more than friends.
263
00:16:07,070 --> 00:16:08,863
Is that something you'd want?
264
00:16:09,074 --> 00:16:11,032
Well...
265
00:16:11,829 --> 00:16:15,497
- Hey.
- Oh, darn.
266
00:16:15,961 --> 00:16:18,501
- Sorry to intrude.
- That's okay. It's good to see you.
267
00:16:18,674 --> 00:16:20,253
I thought you were gonna be busy.
268
00:16:20,469 --> 00:16:23,757
I was. I went to a movie,
shot some pool...
269
00:16:23,934 --> 00:16:28,516
...bought a book, bought a shirt, drank
a bucket of coffee, read the book.
270
00:16:28,985 --> 00:16:31,656
And then it occurred to me:
"Hey, I have a home."
271
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,992
Hey, Dad, can you microwave
some popcorn for me?
272
00:16:36,498 --> 00:16:40,285
- Why can't you make it for yourself?
- Remember what happened last time?
273
00:16:40,464 --> 00:16:43,218
You're old enough to make
popcorn without starting a fire.
274
00:16:43,845 --> 00:16:45,471
Okay, I'll give it a shot.
275
00:16:48,896 --> 00:16:50,771
I'll be right back.
276
00:16:52,277 --> 00:16:54,734
So Jake's a great kid, isn't he?
277
00:16:55,282 --> 00:16:56,908
Yeah, I suppose.
278
00:16:57,077 --> 00:17:00,829
I would never say this to Alan, but I
don't really care much for children.
279
00:17:03,255 --> 00:17:07,802
Well, the truth is, Alan's
not too fond of him either.
280
00:17:09,934 --> 00:17:12,343
He feeds the kid and keeps
a roof over his head...
281
00:17:12,522 --> 00:17:14,931
...but there's no
love lost between them.
282
00:17:16,905 --> 00:17:20,442
- Charlie, give it a rest.
- Sorry?
283
00:17:20,828 --> 00:17:22,573
Why do you push me towards Alan...
284
00:17:22,748 --> 00:17:24,992
...when it's obvious
how much you want me?
285
00:17:27,090 --> 00:17:29,417
He's got a birthday coming up.
286
00:17:32,307 --> 00:17:35,311
Just tell me you want me.
287
00:17:36,231 --> 00:17:38,855
Go ahead, Charlie. Tell her.
288
00:17:39,070 --> 00:17:43,652
What? No, no. You two, with the
Dungeons, the Dragons, the Boggle.
289
00:17:43,828 --> 00:17:45,240
You should be together.
290
00:17:45,456 --> 00:17:49,042
Clearly she wants you, so let's be
grown-up, and I'll get out of the way...
291
00:17:49,213 --> 00:17:51,504
...so the two pretty people can mate.
292
00:17:52,093 --> 00:17:54,171
No, no, no, no.
You laid the foundation...
293
00:17:54,347 --> 00:17:57,267
...and you should, you know,
lay the rest of it.
294
00:17:57,478 --> 00:18:00,850
I appreciate what you're trying to do,
but I am stepping aside...
295
00:18:01,068 --> 00:18:03,228
- No, no. I'm stepping aside.
- No, no. I am.
296
00:18:03,405 --> 00:18:05,613
No, no, I'll step aside.
I will clear the way.
297
00:18:05,785 --> 00:18:09,453
Will you both just shut up?
You're ruining everything.
298
00:18:10,293 --> 00:18:13,000
- Nice going.
- Nice going.
299
00:18:13,173 --> 00:18:16,212
- Say it, Charlie.
- Say what?
300
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:22,389
Say that slick, cool, Charlie Harper
finally wants Eckelberry Hound.
301
00:18:26,155 --> 00:18:30,405
- You knew about that name?
- That name scarred me for life.
302
00:18:30,579 --> 00:18:34,034
It's the reason I haven't eaten
a carbohydrate since college.
303
00:18:34,837 --> 00:18:37,591
- Well, you do look good.
- You're damn right I look good...
304
00:18:37,759 --> 00:18:39,919
...you smug, shallow son of a bitch.
305
00:18:40,097 --> 00:18:43,634
I have spent years working
and sweating and dreaming...
306
00:18:43,812 --> 00:18:47,765
...about the day that I would be
able to rub your smarmy nose in it.
307
00:18:48,153 --> 00:18:50,194
Okay, I'm getting mixed signals here.
308
00:18:52,035 --> 00:18:56,665
This is the signal, Charlie:
You can't have this.
309
00:18:56,835 --> 00:19:01,797
Not now, not ever.
Never, never, never!
310
00:19:02,596 --> 00:19:05,267
You know, I didn't make up
the Eckelberry Hound thing.
311
00:19:05,476 --> 00:19:08,515
But he did spread it around.
I was always your friend.
312
00:19:08,732 --> 00:19:12,068
Oh, please. I spent years
throwing myself at you, friend.
313
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:15,444
Playing stupid nerd games
on my bed with my shirt open, buddy.
314
00:19:15,619 --> 00:19:17,744
Hoping that you would
kiss me or touch me...
315
00:19:17,915 --> 00:19:20,242
...or at least notice me
as a woman, pal!
316
00:19:21,630 --> 00:19:24,918
- You knew your shirt was open?
- Who do you think opened it?
317
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:32,639
But I wasn't pretty enough for you.
You wanted Donna DeMarco...
318
00:19:32,817 --> 00:19:35,986
...or Maxine Chernikoff,
just because they had big boobs...
319
00:19:36,156 --> 00:19:38,234
...and no excess facial hair.
320
00:19:39,037 --> 00:19:42,574
Oh, yeah. Donna DeMarco,
old Double D.
321
00:19:44,755 --> 00:19:47,462
Jamie, I had no idea. I am so sorry.
322
00:19:47,635 --> 00:19:52,598
But I was a stupid teenager.
I guess I just didn't appreciate you then.
323
00:19:52,811 --> 00:19:54,390
I guess not.
324
00:19:54,606 --> 00:19:59,438
But that was a long time ago.
I'm not a stupid teenager anymore.
325
00:19:59,615 --> 00:20:03,284
Do you think maybe you could forgive
me, and maybe we could try again?
326
00:20:04,207 --> 00:20:06,581
Is that what you really want, Alan?
327
00:20:07,046 --> 00:20:08,589
Very much.
328
00:20:10,051 --> 00:20:13,054
Well, eat your heart out.
329
00:20:13,223 --> 00:20:18,352
You can never have this.
Never, never, never!
330
00:20:31,131 --> 00:20:33,838
Well, I guess we know
why she's still single.
331
00:20:39,396 --> 00:20:41,105
You're right, Dad. This is fun.
332
00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:44,277
Told you. It just takes a little
while to get the hang of it.
333
00:20:44,446 --> 00:20:46,441
See if I can bring it in for a landing.
334
00:20:46,617 --> 00:20:50,570
Probably not a good idea.
There's no real place to put it.
335
00:20:58,347 --> 00:21:00,970
What do you think Donna DeMarco's
doing these days?
27150
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.