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1
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,739
Jedn�m z m�ch kon��k�
je, �e sb�r�m prach.
2
00:00:33,785 --> 00:00:35,537
Jste z t�hle zem�?
3
00:00:37,372 --> 00:00:40,542
Obch�z�m po m�st� a
sr��m ceny pneumatik.
4
00:00:44,128 --> 00:00:45,547
Ch�pete to?
5
00:00:47,131 --> 00:00:50,510
Zn�te tu v�no�n� p�se�
"Do You Hear What I Hear?"
6
00:00:50,552 --> 00:00:52,053
Zn�te?
7
00:00:59,143 --> 00:01:00,520
P�estali jste se sm�t.
8
00:01:00,562 --> 00:01:02,263
Vy jste se p�estal sm�t, pane.
9
00:01:02,897 --> 00:01:04,899
U� je to jasn�, ��dn�
vtipy nebudou.
10
00:01:07,652 --> 00:01:10,238
Cel� s�l te� trochu ztichnul.
11
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:13,908
Jsem z�visl� na
br�l�ch na p�edpis.
12
00:01:19,914 --> 00:01:23,950
A m�j �ivotn� p��b�h cht�j�
nato�it do po�adu "20/20".
13
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,954
A d�l je to je�t� hor�� , tohle
psalo �ty�let� d�t�.
14
00:01:35,346 --> 00:01:36,556
D�kuji.
15
00:01:36,598 --> 00:01:38,516
Ne, je�t� nejdu, vydr�te.
16
00:01:39,767 --> 00:01:41,686
To je m�j nevlastn� �tafl�k.
17
00:01:41,728 --> 00:01:44,213
Vlastn�ho �eb��ka
jsem nikdy nepoznal.
18
00:01:51,362 --> 00:01:53,448
Sly�el jsem o n�m skv�l� v�ci,
19
00:01:53,489 --> 00:01:55,950
t�eba jak na n�m jednou st�li t�i lid�.
20
00:01:58,002 --> 00:01:59,779
Podle posledn�ch zpr�v je v...
21
00:01:59,821 --> 00:02:01,289
...zase jsem to posral...
22
00:02:02,206 --> 00:02:05,992
Podle posledn�ch zpr�v se
jeho probl�m s pit�m stup�uje.
23
00:02:07,295 --> 00:02:08,546
U� je mi to jedno.
24
00:02:08,588 --> 00:02:09,588
D�kuji v�m.
25
00:02:15,428 --> 00:02:17,347
Ka�dop�dn�, moc jsem si to u�il
26
00:02:17,388 --> 00:02:19,658
To je v�echno, moc v�m d�kuju.
27
00:02:31,319 --> 00:02:33,738
No a je�t� bych cht�l
uv�st pana ��fa.
28
00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:35,281
Zn�te pana ��fa?
29
00:02:35,282 --> 00:02:36,315
Pana...?
30
00:02:36,316 --> 00:02:38,118
Pana Louie, jak d�l?
31
00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,746
Pana Louise Primu? Ne.
Pana Louise Armstronga? Ne.
32
00:02:41,788 --> 00:02:43,164
Pana Louise C.K.!
33
00:02:43,206 --> 00:02:44,415
Tady je.
34
00:03:04,185 --> 00:03:05,520
D�ky.
35
00:03:11,734 --> 00:03:12,734
�!
36
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:16,280
�, bo����ku, nechte toho!
37
00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:18,158
No je�i��i, d�kuju v�m.
38
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:21,661
To je...vy jste...
39
00:03:21,703 --> 00:03:24,372
Vy jste bo��, d�kuju!
40
00:03:26,241 --> 00:03:28,427
Takhle te� mluv�m,
abyste v�d�li.
41
00:03:30,712 --> 00:03:33,631
Budu takhle mluvit a� do konce.
42
00:03:33,673 --> 00:03:37,652
Takov�m opravdu nep��jemn�m
a stereotypn�m hlasem...
43
00:03:39,637 --> 00:03:41,723
...Mexi�ana.
44
00:03:41,764 --> 00:03:43,224
Takhle...
45
00:03:46,644 --> 00:03:48,312
Takhle mluv� Mexi�an na hranic�ch :
46
00:03:48,354 --> 00:03:49,897
Pus�te m� dovnit�!
47
00:03:51,733 --> 00:03:53,401
J�i��i!
48
00:03:53,443 --> 00:03:54,569
On m� nepust�-
49
00:03:54,610 --> 00:03:57,447
St�jn� jste tam v��ichni ���ur�ci!
50
00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:02,410
Polib si, Ameriko!
51
00:04:05,847 --> 00:04:07,247
Mo�n� to bylo moc vysoko, co?
52
00:04:10,093 --> 00:04:11,753
A taky se v�dycky r�d postav�m
53
00:04:11,794 --> 00:04:13,421
tak trochu divn�, ch�pete to?
54
00:04:13,463 --> 00:04:16,424
Jen tak pro srandu,
m�sto abych st�l takhle
55
00:04:16,466 --> 00:04:19,635
si j� d�m sem tro�ku
nahoru, aby si lidi ��kali
56
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:22,471
No , nev�m pro�, ale �tve m� to.
57
00:04:22,864 --> 00:04:26,250
A to obzvl n�kde, kde
to nem�m r�d, jako v l�k�rn� CVS.
58
00:04:26,292 --> 00:04:28,393
V�te co, j� nesn��m
l�k�rny CVS.
59
00:04:28,436 --> 00:04:30,336
Ale ob�as tam zaj�t mus�te.
60
00:04:31,272 --> 00:04:34,692
To by m�l b�t jejich reklamn�
slogan : L�k�rny CVS -
61
00:04:36,277 --> 00:04:38,780
ob�as sem zaj�t mus�te.
62
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:46,246
Kde jinde byste sehnali
n�plasti na bradavice
63
00:04:47,288 --> 00:04:50,541
a tamty v�ci pro
v� such� vagin�r?
64
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,213
Such� vagin�r.
65
00:04:56,714 --> 00:04:59,842
Myslel jsem si, �e
se tomu ��k� vagin�r
66
00:04:59,884 --> 00:05:03,530
Fakt, proto�e jsem
vyr�stal v Bostonu a...
67
00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:05,140
nev�m jestli to zn�te-
68
00:05:05,182 --> 00:05:07,059
��k� se tomu bostonsk� akcent.
69
00:05:07,100 --> 00:05:09,352
Nen� to ��dn� akcent.
70
00:05:09,393 --> 00:05:13,031
Je to m�sto pln� lid�, kte��
v�t�inu slov vyslovuj� �patn�.
71
00:05:13,232 --> 00:05:17,902
Je to stupidita, co se
roz���ila po obrovsk� oblasti.
72
00:05:19,587 --> 00:05:21,530
I u�itel� n�s u�ili takhle mluvit.
73
00:05:21,531 --> 00:05:24,825
M�l jsem u�itelku, co se
jmenovala Daughertyov�,
74
00:05:24,867 --> 00:05:27,328
ale myslela si, �e se jmenuje Darrityov�.
75
00:05:28,245 --> 00:05:30,964
Neum�la vyslovit ani vlastn� jm�no.
76
00:05:31,165 --> 00:05:32,533
Pan� Darrityov�!
77
00:05:32,534 --> 00:05:35,754
A m�li jsme ji na sexu�ln�
v�chovu- bylo to v p�t� t��d�.
78
00:05:35,795 --> 00:05:38,172
Hodina sexu�ln�
v�chovy s pan� Darrityovou,
79
00:05:38,213 --> 00:05:39,882
ukazovala n�m obr�zek a ��k�:
80
00:05:39,923 --> 00:05:41,474
Tohleto je penis
81
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:45,262
a tohleto je vagin�r.
82
00:05:48,140 --> 00:05:51,644
A b�hem styku mu�
ejakuluje sperma
83
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:54,864
rovnou do vagin�ru.
84
00:05:57,399 --> 00:05:59,047
A pak pozd�ji
85
00:05:59,082 --> 00:06:00,695
malej smrad...
86
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:06,867
...vyleze z vagin�ru .
87
00:06:07,951 --> 00:06:10,454
A n�kter� jsou ret�dovan�.
88
00:06:12,956 --> 00:06:14,291
To byla 70. l�ta
89
00:06:14,333 --> 00:06:17,878
V 70. letech u�it�l� v
Bostonu ��kali ret�dovan�.
90
00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:20,464
Moje dcera je ret�dovan�.
91
00:06:20,499 --> 00:06:21,882
To n�m ��kala ka�d� den.
92
00:06:21,924 --> 00:06:25,302
J� m�m dceru a ta je
ment�ln� ret�dovan�.
93
00:06:25,344 --> 00:06:29,348
Je j� 35 a bydl� u m�.
94
00:06:29,390 --> 00:06:31,892
To si pi�te, �e je
sakra ret�dovan�.
95
00:06:34,061 --> 00:06:37,297
Nejrad�i bych si j� str�ila
zp�tky do vagin�ru.
96
00:06:40,002 --> 00:06:43,738
No, tak�e jsem si myslel, �e se
tomu ��k� vagin�r, a� do 25 let.
97
00:06:43,780 --> 00:06:46,657
A vzpom�n�m, jak jsem o tom uva�oval
- Je to vagin�r,
98
00:06:46,658 --> 00:06:51,995
jako takov� v�c, co
vaginuje, �e jo?
99
00:06:54,666 --> 00:06:59,253
Prost� se pou��v� k vaginov�n�
- " Mus�m si zase navaginovat p��jezd"
100
00:06:59,294 --> 00:07:00,294
Nebo nev�m...
101
00:07:00,822 --> 00:07:03,041
"Mus�m je�t� vaginovat ten nov� st�l"
102
00:07:05,093 --> 00:07:07,762
T�m se ten st�l zkr�l�,
to vyrob�te nov� st�l
103
00:07:07,804 --> 00:07:11,348
a pak vezmete smirkov�
pap�r osmdes�tku
104
00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:14,601
osmirkujete ho, a pak
stodvac�tkou, a pak �eknete:
105
00:07:14,602 --> 00:07:17,229
"Tak, l�sko,vlez si
nahoru" a ona pak...
106
00:07:19,314 --> 00:07:21,150
Jako u t�ch star�ch...
107
00:07:21,191 --> 00:07:24,696
Jako u t�ch d�nsk�ch
stol�, nebo u ...
108
00:07:24,737 --> 00:07:28,031
t�ch p�kn�ch italsk�ch
staro�itn�ch stol�.
109
00:07:28,825 --> 00:07:35,122
"Ten st�l j� velm� hladk�, proto�e
moje �en� m� velm� s�avnato� ����"
110
00:07:35,164 --> 00:07:39,960
a on� ten st�l
vaginoval�, v na�� rodin�
111
00:07:40,002 --> 00:07:41,813
se vaginuj� od nepam�t�."
112
00:07:46,967 --> 00:07:48,635
No dob�e.
113
00:07:50,053 --> 00:07:52,765
No te� mi je 47 a...
114
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,693
Jo, j� v�m, nestoj� to
za v�c, ne� za tohle.
115
00:07:57,311 --> 00:07:59,971
Nic v�c, ne� tohle
si to nezaslou��...��
116
00:08:04,611 --> 00:08:08,030
Za to, �e je v�m 47,
v�m nikdo nic ned�.
117
00:08:08,071 --> 00:08:11,074
V osmn�cti m��ete volit,
v jednadvaceti p�t,
118
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:14,036
a ve 47 u� jenom tak
v n��em pokra�ujete.
119
00:08:14,077 --> 00:08:15,077
Jen d�l...
120
00:08:17,247 --> 00:08:19,082
Jen d�l lapej po vzduchu...
121
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,214
Dobr� v�c je na tom to, �e
jsem se u� vzal p�edstavy
122
00:08:25,255 --> 00:08:27,759
jak si vypracuju
skv�lou fyzi�ku, to je �leva.
123
00:08:27,800 --> 00:08:29,844
Proto�e jsem si
cel� �ivot ��kal,
124
00:08:29,886 --> 00:08:31,930
�e bych se jednou m�l
dostat do formy.
125
00:08:31,971 --> 00:08:34,098
Te� si ��k�m: Co�e?
Pro� bych to d�lal?
126
00:08:34,140 --> 00:08:36,233
To ani n�hodou! Prost�...
127
00:08:36,275 --> 00:08:39,854
M� sta��, abych se udr�el v
takov�m fyzick�m stavu, abyste se,
128
00:08:39,896 --> 00:08:43,106
kdybyste se dozv�d�li, �e jsem um�el,
129
00:08:43,148 --> 00:08:45,400
zeptali "Co se stalo?"
130
00:08:45,442 --> 00:08:46,611
To sta��.
131
00:08:46,653 --> 00:08:48,530
Chci, abyste se
nad t�m podivili.
132
00:08:51,050 --> 00:08:53,785
Nem�li byste si ��ct
"Jo, on u� um�el?"
133
00:08:53,826 --> 00:08:55,954
No, jasn�, �e jo.
Jasn� �e um�el.
134
00:08:55,995 --> 00:08:57,622
To bylo jasn�.
135
00:09:02,443 --> 00:09:05,762
Sp� by v�s p�ekvapilo: Sly�el
jsi, �e Louie je�t� �ije?
136
00:09:05,797 --> 00:09:06,889
Hovno...
Jo, fakt?
137
00:09:07,130 --> 00:09:09,216
No, pane jo!
138
00:09:09,258 --> 00:09:12,469
Pane Bo�e, jak je to mo�n�?
139
00:09:12,504 --> 00:09:14,054
Jak?
140
00:09:15,507 --> 00:09:17,725
Kdy� st�rnete, n�kter�
v�ci se m�n�.
141
00:09:17,767 --> 00:09:21,362
N�kter�m sv�m zvuk�m jsem
te� p�i�adil novou funkci.
142
00:09:21,896 --> 00:09:25,440
T�eba zvuku, kter� jsem
d��v d�lal p�i orgasmu -
143
00:09:25,482 --> 00:09:27,301
te� ho d�l�m, kdy� ��r�m.
144
00:09:44,919 --> 00:09:47,005
Vem si to v�echno, d�vko.
145
00:09:52,134 --> 00:09:54,804
Je to bohu�el k m�mu
z�chodu dost neuctiv�.
146
00:09:54,846 --> 00:09:58,432
Jo, chcanky, to se ti l�b�, co?
147
00:09:58,473 --> 00:09:59,473
D�vko!
148
00:09:59,517 --> 00:10:02,604
A je�t� ti naseru do
huby, proto�e jsi jenom
149
00:10:02,645 --> 00:10:06,524
hajzl, co �ere hovna
a pije chcanky!
150
00:10:08,526 --> 00:10:11,445
Z�chode, ty blb� d�vko!
151
00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:13,322
Nem� z�dnou inteligenci.
152
00:10:13,531 --> 00:10:15,742
Ani jsi nebyl venku.
153
00:10:15,783 --> 00:10:20,120
Jen tu na m� �ek�, a�
ti naseru do ksichtu.
154
00:10:20,622 --> 00:10:23,457
M� chcanky na rtech.
155
00:10:25,043 --> 00:10:26,586
Ani nejsi nic zvl�tn�ho.
156
00:10:26,628 --> 00:10:30,213
Dneska u� jsem chcal
do t�� z�chod�.
157
00:10:30,255 --> 00:10:31,255
Nejsi nic.
158
00:10:34,886 --> 00:10:35,886
Je to hrozn�.
159
00:10:35,887 --> 00:10:38,014
P��ern�.
160
00:10:38,056 --> 00:10:40,607
Ale takhle se sv�m
z�chodem jednal m�j t�ta,
161
00:10:40,649 --> 00:10:42,534
tak�e jsem se to nau�il od n�j.
162
00:10:45,980 --> 00:10:48,357
Je to hanba.
163
00:10:49,441 --> 00:10:52,235
Tak tolik ke zvuku,
co d�l�m p�i ��r�n�.
164
00:10:52,277 --> 00:10:56,281
A n�kter� z v�s by mohlo zaj�mat -
i kdy� na to nikdo nevypad�te...
165
00:10:58,208 --> 00:11:00,452
...jak� zvuk d�l�m, kdy� se ud�l�m.
166
00:11:00,453 --> 00:11:03,915
Tak�e, kdy� se ud�l�m, zn� to takhle...
U� to je!
167
00:11:03,956 --> 00:11:09,671
Vid�m cel� v�jev s mraky
a blesky a vr�nami...
168
00:11:10,797 --> 00:11:13,591
Kruh se uzav�r�!
169
00:11:13,633 --> 00:11:15,551
Je to takov� intenzivn�.
170
00:11:17,512 --> 00:11:20,389
A vid�m malou �arod�jnici s
pr�zdn�ma o�ima, co ��k�
171
00:11:20,430 --> 00:11:21,766
"A d�t� se zrod�!"
172
00:11:22,767 --> 00:11:24,018
No nev�m.
173
00:11:28,381 --> 00:11:32,110
Tuhle jsem byl v posteli s jednou
�enskou, spali jsme spolu poprv�.
174
00:11:32,151 --> 00:11:35,530
A taky to bylo
naposledy, ale to se
175
00:11:35,571 --> 00:11:37,573
uk�zalo a� pak.
176
00:11:37,615 --> 00:11:39,742
Ka�dop�dn�, c�til jsem,
�e se brzy ud�l�m,
177
00:11:39,784 --> 00:11:42,704
a dostal jsem chu� o tom mluvit, a...
178
00:11:42,745 --> 00:11:44,789
Ale neznal jsem ji moc dob�e.
179
00:11:44,831 --> 00:11:49,459
No a vyzn�lo to ujet�.
�ekl jsem : U�� b�du.
180
00:11:53,881 --> 00:11:55,633
A ona na to : Cos ��kal?
181
00:11:59,261 --> 00:12:03,056
Proto�e jsem byl vzadu. Proto
se musela takhle oto�it.
182
00:12:03,057 --> 00:12:05,308
Cos ��kal?
183
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:08,703
Co se to tam zezadu oz�v�, n��eln�ku?
Cos ��kal?
184
00:12:12,315 --> 00:12:14,317
J� jsem toti� v�dycky vzadu.
185
00:12:17,446 --> 00:12:21,159
Je... je divn� se t�m chlubit,
ale j� na n� jdu v�dycky zezadu.
186
00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:24,502
Poka�d�.
187
00:12:24,537 --> 00:12:26,348
Aby m� nevid�ly bre�et.
188
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:34,921
Je to zvl�tn� d�lat to se �enskou zezadu,
proto�e nev�te, co se celou dobu d�je
189
00:12:34,963 --> 00:12:36,715
a za�nete b�t paranoidn�.
190
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:40,242
Co kdy� t�eba d�l�
celou dobu tohle...
191
00:13:05,119 --> 00:13:07,321
Byl jsem v metru v New Yorku...
192
00:13:07,872 --> 00:13:11,374
a tohle nen� dal�� historka o sexu,
193
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:16,547
to je historka o cestov�n�.
Jste p�ipraven�?
194
00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:20,551
Tak�e jsem v metru
a stoj�m si tam.
195
00:13:20,593 --> 00:13:23,562
Ni�eho jsem se nedr�el, jenom
r�d stoj�m takhle.
196
00:13:23,604 --> 00:13:25,288
Stoj�m tam...
197
00:13:26,473 --> 00:13:27,975
Takhle chod�m po m�st�...
198
00:13:28,017 --> 00:13:30,393
Ah�j!
199
00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:33,022
No tak tam stoj�m a za mnou se
200
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:36,316
ozve tohle...
201
00:13:36,358 --> 00:13:38,860
Tak jsem si �ekl, no
nic, n�jak� bl�zen.
202
00:13:38,861 --> 00:13:40,947
V New Yorku to
nen� a� takov� p�ekvapen�.
203
00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,515
Pak jsem to sly�el znovu.
204
00:13:42,557 --> 00:13:46,394
�ekl jsem si, tak se na toho
bl�zna pod�v�m, jen tak zb�n�.
205
00:13:46,629 --> 00:13:51,282
Tak se oto��m, a nebylo to, co jsem �ekal.
��dn� bezdomovec s n�kolika rozbit�mi
206
00:13:51,323 --> 00:13:53,125
sluch�tky na hlav�,
nebo tak...
207
00:13:54,184 --> 00:13:55,186
Byla to...
208
00:13:56,587 --> 00:13:58,756
mlad� �ena, vypadala
asi na 21 let.
209
00:13:58,798 --> 00:14:01,758
St�la tam a byla celkem
p�kn� oble�en�.
210
00:14:01,759 --> 00:14:04,512
Zd�lo se, �e je
odn�kud z Michiganu.
211
00:14:04,554 --> 00:14:07,890
Takhle p�esn� vypadaj� holky ze
satelit� v Michiganu.
212
00:14:07,932 --> 00:14:10,268
St�la si tam s vlasy v cul�ku
213
00:14:10,309 --> 00:14:14,730
a z ni�eho nic za�la d�lat
tohle - za�la d�lat...
214
00:14:14,772 --> 00:14:16,732
La-la la-la-la la-la!
215
00:14:16,774 --> 00:14:19,359
Uv�domil jsem si : Aha,
to asi bude studentka,
216
00:14:19,401 --> 00:14:20,653
studuje zp�v
217
00:14:20,695 --> 00:14:23,698
a v metru si d�l�
hlasov� cvi�en�.
218
00:14:23,739 --> 00:14:27,743
A v�te co? Nebylo to
p�kn� ani roztomil�.
219
00:14:27,785 --> 00:14:29,871
Bylo to arogantn� a sprost�,
220
00:14:29,912 --> 00:14:35,626
pon�vad� u toho m�la v�raz, jakoby ��kala -
J� jsem hust�, studuju hudbu v New Yorku
221
00:14:35,668 --> 00:14:40,047
a jen tak se ka�dej den
produc�ruju v metru.
222
00:14:40,089 --> 00:14:43,718
La-la la-la-la la-la,
koukn�te v�ichni na m�!
223
00:14:45,970 --> 00:14:50,600
La-la la-la-la la-la, i ty, sest�i�ko
po �trn�ctihodinov� �icht�!
224
00:15:01,719 --> 00:15:03,595
V�te, �ijeme v zaj�mav� dob�.
225
00:15:03,637 --> 00:15:05,222
T�eba kdy� jste v letadle,
226
00:15:05,264 --> 00:15:07,224
jste jedn�m z t�eba 200 pasa��r�...
227
00:15:07,266 --> 00:15:10,185
Let�te 10 000 metr� nad zem�
a m��ete se
228
00:15:10,227 --> 00:15:12,646
rozhodnout ud�lat
tohle:sed�te v seda�ce
229
00:15:12,688 --> 00:15:14,148
a za�nete d�lat...
230
00:15:22,489 --> 00:15:26,868
Kdy� v tomhle budete
po��d pokra�ovat
231
00:15:26,903 --> 00:15:28,795
letadlo bude muset p�ist�t.
232
00:15:33,200 --> 00:15:36,045
M��ete p�inutit letadlo
k p�ist�n� silou v�le,
233
00:15:36,086 --> 00:15:38,088
beze zbran� nebo vyhro�ov�n�.
234
00:15:41,342 --> 00:15:45,179
Ani toho nemus�te tolik ud�lat,
sta�� jen volat: Dol�!
235
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:48,432
Dol�!
236
00:15:48,474 --> 00:15:50,642
No v�n�, kdybyste v letadle
237
00:15:50,684 --> 00:15:53,062
po��d dokole�ka ��kali "dol�"
238
00:15:53,103 --> 00:15:54,813
Dol�!
239
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:56,855
Dol�!
240
00:15:56,940 --> 00:15:59,234
"N�jak� probl�m, pane?"
"Dol�!"
241
00:15:59,276 --> 00:16:00,652
Dol�!
242
00:16:02,446 --> 00:16:04,323
Nakonec se objev� st�ha�ky -
243
00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:07,451
no a p�istanete na
nejbli���m leti�ti.
244
00:16:08,327 --> 00:16:10,996
A nejsp� v�m budou
d�lat probl�my, ale...
245
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:13,415
Co�e? P�ece v�s
jako nem��ou zav��t
246
00:16:13,457 --> 00:16:17,127
za to, �e jste p�rkr�t
�ekli "dol�".
247
00:16:17,169 --> 00:16:18,886
Sp� v�s budou otravovat.
248
00:16:18,921 --> 00:16:22,057
"Pro� jste to ud�lal? Jste
terorista?Pro� jste to ud�lal?"
249
00:16:22,099 --> 00:16:24,635
"M� se... M� se u�
necht�lo b�t naho�e."
250
00:16:24,676 --> 00:16:26,428
"Prost� se mi tam nel�bilo."
251
00:16:26,470 --> 00:16:31,308
"��kal jsem jenom sm�r,
jak�m bych cht�l let�t."
252
00:16:31,350 --> 00:16:33,352
"To ale nebylo na v�s."
253
00:16:35,312 --> 00:16:39,466
"Je��i Kriste, to
byl jenom n�vrh."
254
00:16:40,943 --> 00:16:43,904
Jednou jsem byl v letadle
a byly tam dv� miminka.
255
00:16:43,946 --> 00:16:46,240
A je�t� dal�� lid�...
256
00:16:48,534 --> 00:16:50,786
Nebyl jsem tam jen
j� a dv� miminka,
257
00:16:54,248 --> 00:16:55,916
to by bylo divn�.
258
00:16:56,667 --> 00:16:59,420
Nastoup�te do letadla, a
jsou tam jen dv� mimina.
259
00:17:07,094 --> 00:17:09,471
No tak, u� brzo let�me.
260
00:17:10,931 --> 00:17:13,183
On je mimipilot.
261
00:17:14,852 --> 00:17:16,854
A j� mim�o ��slo dv�.
262
00:17:20,065 --> 00:17:22,109
Ne, to je dobr�, j� nelet�m.
263
00:17:23,569 --> 00:17:25,612
U�ijte si let, mim�a,
264
00:17:25,654 --> 00:17:28,115
j� se tam dostanu n�jak jinak.
265
00:17:28,157 --> 00:17:30,534
No jo, ale cht�l jsem
za��t n���m jin�m.
266
00:17:34,079 --> 00:17:37,416
Tak�e, byl jsem v letadle,
a byly tam ty dv� mimina
267
00:17:37,458 --> 00:17:39,001
a celou dobu bre�ely
268
00:17:39,042 --> 00:17:40,711
�valy cel� let, a
to se st�v� �asto.
269
00:17:40,752 --> 00:17:43,547
Asi se navz�jem neznaly,
�valy jen tak...
270
00:17:43,589 --> 00:17:45,157
Za�il jsem to u�
mockr�t, a
271
00:17:45,199 --> 00:17:48,818
napadlo m�, jestli to m� n�jak�
d�vod. Existuje v�n� d�vod, pro� ...
272
00:17:48,860 --> 00:17:50,953
Tak jsem p�tral a
uk�zalo se, �e ano.
273
00:17:50,995 --> 00:17:53,931
Mimina v letadlech �vou
proto, �e je roz�iluje,
274
00:17:53,973 --> 00:17:55,667
�e se gayov� m��ou br�t.
275
00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:56,894
Jo.
276
00:17:58,061 --> 00:18:00,940
Jsou z toho opravdu na�tvan�.
277
00:18:01,982 --> 00:18:04,067
A nedaj� se ni��m ut�it.
278
00:18:05,068 --> 00:18:06,845
Zlato, sv�t se prost� m�n�...
279
00:18:06,887 --> 00:18:07,921
U���!
280
00:18:10,950 --> 00:18:13,035
A j� s nimi nesouhlas�m.
281
00:18:13,076 --> 00:18:16,330
Mysl�m, �e kdy� se lid�
miluj�, m�li by se vz�t.
282
00:18:16,371 --> 00:18:20,042
Ole oni to nedok�ou p�ijmout.
283
00:18:20,083 --> 00:18:22,419
Proto�e, to v�te,
jsou to jenom mimina.
284
00:18:26,089 --> 00:18:28,008
Mimina jsou sobeck�.
285
00:18:28,050 --> 00:18:30,260
Opravdu, nemluv�ata
jsou sobeck�.
286
00:18:30,302 --> 00:18:32,471
D�laj� jenom u���!
287
00:18:32,513 --> 00:18:35,349
Nemluvn� nikdy ne�ekne
"U���, a jak se m� ty?"
288
00:18:39,604 --> 00:18:44,800
M�m dv� dcery a ob� kdysi byly mimina, a
j� jsem je choval a �valy v letadlech.
289
00:18:44,842 --> 00:18:48,779
Taky mi to stalo, let�l jsem s miminem.
Lid� jsou takov� sobci!
290
00:18:48,820 --> 00:18:52,907
Kdy� jste v letadle a sly��te �v�t
mimino, mysl�te si, �e se to d�je v�m.
291
00:18:52,949 --> 00:18:55,486
��k�te si " Ach jo,
tohle mi zkaz� cestu"
292
00:18:55,827 --> 00:18:58,497
"�pln� mi j� to zkaz�!"
293
00:18:58,539 --> 00:19:01,166
Tak to se pod�vejte
na toho rodi�e, kter�
294
00:19:01,208 --> 00:19:03,502
chov� v letadle pla��c� mimino,
295
00:19:03,544 --> 00:19:07,089
co� znamen�, �e cestuje
cel� den s miminem,
296
00:19:07,130 --> 00:19:11,802
co� znamen�, �e
m� mimino, �e jo?
297
00:19:11,843 --> 00:19:14,263
Tak�e jejich �ivot
za nic nestoj�.
298
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,808
Nic se jim nezavd���.
299
00:19:17,849 --> 00:19:20,686
Cel� den jsou bez n�lady.
300
00:19:22,563 --> 00:19:24,064
Jedin� radost, co jim zb�v�,
301
00:19:24,106 --> 00:19:28,068
je, �e mimino te�
otravuje i ostatn� lidi.
302
00:19:28,110 --> 00:19:30,320
"Jo,jo, te� si to
poslechn�te vy!"
303
00:19:30,362 --> 00:19:32,364
U���!
304
00:19:38,287 --> 00:19:41,582
Vzpom�n�m, jak jednou moje d�t� bre�elo v
letadle, byla k neuti�en� a ten chl�pek
305
00:19:41,623 --> 00:19:44,251
n�jak� mana�er, proto�e mana�e�i
si v�dycky mysl�, �e jsou
306
00:19:44,293 --> 00:19:46,712
ve sv�m soukrom�m letadle,
307
00:19:46,753 --> 00:19:50,257
do kter�ho milostiv�
p�ibrali n�s ostatn�.
308
00:19:50,299 --> 00:19:53,969
A ten chlap dr�� noviny a
oto�� se ma m� s moj� dcerou
309
00:19:53,970 --> 00:19:56,430
a pod�v� se p��mo na m�.
310
00:19:56,471 --> 00:19:57,681
Neud�l� to takhle nen�padn�,
311
00:19:57,723 --> 00:19:59,017
D�v� se na m�, jako �e hmm?
312
00:19:59,058 --> 00:20:03,236
Hele, mohl bys?
313
00:20:04,438 --> 00:20:06,823
��k�m si "J�, promi�te,
obt�uje v�s to?"
314
00:20:06,865 --> 00:20:08,499
"Mal� moment..."
315
00:20:35,135 --> 00:20:37,554
V�ichni mi tlesk�te
za mrtv� d�t�.
316
00:20:39,556 --> 00:20:41,558
Tleskali jste mrtv�mu miminku...
317
00:20:46,188 --> 00:20:48,607
J� m�m dv� d�ti.
318
00:20:48,649 --> 00:20:50,068
Je jim dev�t a dvan�ct.
319
00:20:50,109 --> 00:20:52,319
Ob� jsou holky.
320
00:20:52,361 --> 00:20:54,072
A ob� jsou lesby.
321
00:20:57,407 --> 00:21:01,662
J� z nich vychov�v�m lesby. Lidi
v�t�inou vychov�vaj� z d�t� heter�ky,
322
00:21:01,703 --> 00:21:03,497
j� za sv�ch vychov�v�m lesby.
323
00:21:03,538 --> 00:21:06,667
Mo�n� si pozd�ji budou
d�lat, co cht�j�, ale
324
00:21:06,708 --> 00:21:09,336
dokud jsou v m�m
dom�, budou lesby.
325
00:21:14,341 --> 00:21:17,970
Ka�d� den jim ��k�m - jsi lesba,
zlato, dobrou noc. Jdi do postele.
326
00:21:18,012 --> 00:21:21,306
Vy�isti si lesb�
zuby, lesb� zlato.
327
00:21:24,418 --> 00:21:27,253
Nezapome� b�t lesba.
328
00:21:32,175 --> 00:21:36,514
M�t d�ti je velk� zodpov�dnost a
nikdy jsem nebyl moc dobr� rodi�.
329
00:21:36,555 --> 00:21:40,274
Ud�lal jsem spoustu chyb.. N�kter�
men��, n�kter� v�t��, �e?
330
00:21:40,309 --> 00:21:44,729
V�te co, po��d jsem jenom
�lov�k, po��d jsem idiot, jako tenkr�t
331
00:21:44,771 --> 00:21:47,190
kdy� jsem se jednou ve�er zkou�il.
332
00:21:47,232 --> 00:21:50,092
Zkou�il jsem se fakt hodn�,
proto�e drogy neberu.
333
00:21:50,134 --> 00:21:52,028
J� neberu drogy, nikdy...
334
00:21:52,070 --> 00:21:54,239
Tak�e kdy� si je d�m...
335
00:21:55,865 --> 00:21:57,617
...je to mnohem lep�� z�bava.
336
00:21:58,585 --> 00:22:00,912
To je podle m� nejlep��
rada na t�ma drogy.
337
00:22:00,954 --> 00:22:03,790
Kdy� si chcete drogy u��t,
neberete je skoro nikdy.
338
00:22:03,832 --> 00:22:07,961
Proto�e kdy� si je pak d�te,
je s nimi opravdu z�bava.
339
00:22:08,002 --> 00:22:12,632
Ale kdy� sestanou sou��st� va�eho
�ivota,stane se z nich jenom dal�� opruz.
340
00:22:12,674 --> 00:22:15,718
Budete si ��kat Ech, ty
moje drogy jsou k ni�emu...
341
00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,762
Tenhle probl�m j� nechci m�t.
342
00:22:19,306 --> 00:22:23,726
Chci, aby to pro m� bylo poka�d� nov� v�c.
N�kdo mi �ekne - Hele, d� si taky?
343
00:22:23,768 --> 00:22:24,811
A j� �eknu Pane jo!
344
00:22:24,853 --> 00:22:26,896
Nev�m, jestli bych m�l.
345
00:22:26,938 --> 00:22:29,232
To je �let.
346
00:22:29,274 --> 00:22:31,109
Ani nev�m, jak si to m�m d�t.
347
00:22:31,151 --> 00:22:32,944
Hele, a co to vlastn� je?
348
00:22:36,739 --> 00:22:39,242
No tak�e, moje kamar�dka
m�la vaporiz�r.
349
00:22:39,243 --> 00:22:41,412
Up��mn� �e�eno, mlad�
m� s t�m docela d�s�,
350
00:22:41,453 --> 00:22:45,665
jak d�laj� tohle, a
cpou to do vaporiz�ru
351
00:22:45,707 --> 00:22:48,918
a pak se prost�
postav� a potahuj�
352
00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,547
a koukaj� na ten blbej
p��stroj a m� chyb� ...
353
00:22:51,589 --> 00:22:53,465
Je to tak, chyb� mi ti lid�
354
00:22:53,507 --> 00:22:55,551
proto�e d��v jste
st�li takhle v kruhu
355
00:22:55,593 --> 00:22:57,428
a mohl jsem si ��kat
" Tu bych �ukal
356
00:22:57,469 --> 00:22:59,270
a tahle taky ujde",
ale te� v�bec.
357
00:22:59,305 --> 00:23:01,390
Te� z lid� vid�m jenom vr�ky hlav.
358
00:23:01,432 --> 00:23:04,225
Ani jsem si neuv�domoval,
jak t�eba moje kamar�dka -
359
00:23:04,267 --> 00:23:08,688
m�m mlad�� kamar�dku s vaporiz�rem, a ta
mi �ekla, �e si to d�v� na zklidn�n�.
360
00:23:08,689 --> 00:23:10,482
��kala: Sotva to c�t�m,
pom�h� mi to usnout.
361
00:23:10,524 --> 00:23:13,393
Jednou ve�er, kdy� u� jsem
se od n� chystal dom�,
362
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:16,045
jsem si taky na cestu
malinko pot�hnul.
363
00:23:16,046 --> 00:23:19,357
�pln� jsem po tom ��lel,
jak utr�en� ze �et�zu.
364
00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:22,619
Doma jsem nedok�zal ani proj�t
kolem oken, bral jsem to pod nimi,
365
00:23:22,620 --> 00:23:26,457
proto�e jsem m�l strach z
toho, co se mi d�je v mozku.
366
00:23:30,010 --> 00:23:32,795
A tak jsem za�al rozes�lat
smsky, v tomhle stavu.
367
00:23:32,837 --> 00:23:36,550
Psal jsem "J� jsem tak zhulenej,
j� jsem �pln� na�rot"
368
00:23:36,592 --> 00:23:39,268
"Jsem nasr��", a jednomu
kamar�dovi jsem napsal
369
00:23:39,303 --> 00:23:44,057
"J� jsem tak na ka�i, �e chci s�t
zhulenou mrdku z vlastn�ho pt�ka
370
00:23:44,098 --> 00:23:46,725
a zmastit se je�t� v�c."
To jsem fakt napsal.
371
00:23:46,726 --> 00:23:51,230
J� se t�m nechlub�m. Jen v�m ��k�m,
�e jsem to napsal. A odeslal.
372
00:23:51,323 --> 00:23:54,142
Potom jsem se na tu zpr�vu
pod�val, a napadlo m�:
373
00:23:54,183 --> 00:23:57,036
mo�n� jsem to poslal svoj�
dvan�ctilet� dce�i.
374
00:23:57,078 --> 00:23:58,378
Asi je to mo�n�.
375
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,930
Nakonec ne, ale mohlo
se to snadno st�t.
376
00:24:02,965 --> 00:24:05,621
Kdy� m�m te� v telefonu
��sla sv�ch d�t�,
377
00:24:05,663 --> 00:24:09,416
pot�eboval bych n�jak�
hodn� spolehliv� firewall,
378
00:24:09,458 --> 00:24:13,920
kter� by v�razn�
zt�il poslat jim sms
379
00:24:13,962 --> 00:24:16,173
aby se nestalo, �e... a jejda!
380
00:24:16,214 --> 00:24:18,867
Trauma na cel� �ivot!
381
00:24:20,427 --> 00:24:23,597
Abych t�eba, kdy� na
tyhle ��sla chci ps�t
382
00:24:23,639 --> 00:24:29,018
Musel nap�ed vy�e�it
h�danku z Hellraisera...
383
00:24:29,060 --> 00:24:32,772
Dva chlapi otv�raj� dve�e,
ka�d� z jedn� strany
384
00:24:32,814 --> 00:24:35,734
a oto�� kl��em p�esn� ve stejnou chv�li...
a je�t� varov�n�.
385
00:24:38,111 --> 00:24:43,199
"Jste si jist, �e chcete poslat tuto
fotku chlup� na va�em ohanb�
386
00:24:43,241 --> 00:24:44,660
matce va�� b�val� �eny?"
387
00:24:46,370 --> 00:24:48,772
Je to ide�ln� zp�sob,
jak prolomit ledy
388
00:24:48,814 --> 00:24:52,192
�est let po rozvodu.
389
00:24:53,544 --> 00:24:57,430
"Tohle jsou moje chlupy. Pod�vej,
jak jsem p�kn� zarostlej.
390
00:24:57,472 --> 00:24:59,157
Jak se m�?"
391
00:25:05,681 --> 00:25:10,059
Sna��m se b�t dobr�m t�tou, ale to
v�te, d�ti v�m p�evr�t� �ivot naruby.
392
00:25:10,101 --> 00:25:11,437
Maj� svoje n�pady a...
393
00:25:11,478 --> 00:25:15,565
Moje dev�tilet� se pr�v� seznamuje s
lhan�m, a to je v�n� v�c.
394
00:25:15,566 --> 00:25:17,484
Je slo�it� ji v tom br�nit
395
00:25:17,526 --> 00:25:23,407
proto�e lhan� je v �ivot� ��asn� d�le�it�.
396
00:25:23,449 --> 00:25:26,826
Jak chcete d�t�ti na��dit,
aby nepou��valo v�c,
397
00:25:26,868 --> 00:25:31,080
kter� ka�d� myslyteln�
probl�m vy�e�� jak kouzlem?
398
00:25:31,582 --> 00:25:32,624
Jak chcete...
399
00:25:33,625 --> 00:25:38,371
D�ti l�ou, kdy� jsou v �zk�ch. L�ou,
proto�e to u� nem��ou vydr�et.
400
00:25:38,413 --> 00:25:39,964
Ch�pete? D�ti...
401
00:25:39,965 --> 00:25:44,494
Kdy� l�e dev�tilet� d�t�, nen� v
tom ��dn� z�ludn� machiavelismus.
402
00:25:44,636 --> 00:25:47,430
"V�, co o tob� ��kal n� u�itel?
To bylo zaj�mav�."
403
00:25:47,431 --> 00:25:51,017
Nevym��lej� si v�ci.
404
00:25:51,352 --> 00:25:53,771
L�ou, proto�e jsou v
pr��vihu, a nev�d�, co by...
405
00:25:53,812 --> 00:25:55,647
Proto�e pr��vihy d�ti d�s�.
406
00:25:55,689 --> 00:25:57,775
Dosp�l� se s pr��vihem um� vyrovnat.
407
00:25:57,816 --> 00:26:01,110
N�m je to jedno.Jenom
�ekneme J�,promi�.
408
00:26:01,152 --> 00:26:02,571
J�je, m�m pr��vih?
409
00:26:02,613 --> 00:26:06,157
A jejda!
410
00:26:06,199 --> 00:26:08,910
Je n�m to fuk.
411
00:26:08,951 --> 00:26:12,080
Ale pro mal� d�t� je pr��vih
asi takhle d�siv�...
412
00:26:12,121 --> 00:26:14,290
VZALA JSI TU �OKOL�DU?
413
00:26:19,505 --> 00:26:23,174
A ona j� vzala, a nev�,
jak si te� poradit.
414
00:26:23,175 --> 00:26:25,386
VZALA...VZALA JSI J�?
415
00:26:30,890 --> 00:26:32,058
"Ne."
416
00:26:32,810 --> 00:26:35,479
No tak dob�e, hezk�
zbytek dne p�eju.
417
00:26:43,353 --> 00:26:46,072
Jak j� chcete p�esv�d�it,
�e u� nikdy nesm�
418
00:26:46,114 --> 00:26:49,326
pou��vat takhle perfektn�
�e�en� hroziv�ch situac�?
419
00:26:51,745 --> 00:26:54,748
Mark Twain jednou �ekl, "Ten,
kdo v�dycky ��k� pravdu
420
00:26:54,790 --> 00:26:57,459
si nemus� pamatovat, co ��kal."
421
00:26:57,501 --> 00:26:58,836
A to je skv�l�.
422
00:26:58,877 --> 00:27:02,139
Ale Mark Twain tak� �ekl "Byl
jednou jeden velk� �ernoch
423
00:27:02,180 --> 00:27:04,241
jm�nem Negr Jim."
Tak�e...
424
00:27:05,342 --> 00:27:07,344
nev�m jestli...
425
00:27:07,386 --> 00:27:10,764
...sto procent z toho, co ��kal
426
00:27:10,806 --> 00:27:12,599
byly �pln� perly.
427
00:27:17,387 --> 00:27:19,731
V�n�, Marku? Trv�
na Negrovi Jimovi?
428
00:27:19,773 --> 00:27:22,776
Nenapadlo t� nic
lep��ho, ne� pojmenovat
429
00:27:22,818 --> 00:27:25,571
Sv�m zp�sobem to zn�
p�kn�, Negr Jim.
430
00:27:25,612 --> 00:27:28,615
No, ale mo�n� je to
a� moc popisn�, �e?
431
00:27:31,117 --> 00:27:33,370
Mohl mu d�t jm�no �ern� Mike.
Aspo� tak trochu...
432
00:27:34,455 --> 00:27:38,082
O jeden stup�nek ubrat...
433
00:27:38,124 --> 00:27:39,959
Tak fajn, d�ky, Marku.
434
00:27:44,281 --> 00:27:45,824
Mimochodem.
435
00:27:45,866 --> 00:27:48,869
kdy� u� jsme na�ali tohle t�ma...
436
00:27:50,003 --> 00:27:51,872
a vid�m, �e jste v pohod�...
437
00:27:54,498 --> 00:27:55,498
Ne...
438
00:28:01,672 --> 00:28:03,424
Ne. Ehm...
439
00:28:03,465 --> 00:28:04,508
Ne, ne!
440
00:28:04,609 --> 00:28:05,977
Ale... ale...ale...
441
00:28:09,431 --> 00:28:13,018
Tahle historka...�eknu v�m
jeden p��b�h, ale je takov� zmaten�.
442
00:28:13,059 --> 00:28:15,103
T�hne se p�es spoustu
let, proto�e...
443
00:28:15,145 --> 00:28:18,256
Za�alo to t�m, �e mi m�j kamar�d
Mike vypr�v�l tohle:
444
00:28:18,298 --> 00:28:20,175
Stalo se mu to v 90. letech.
445
00:28:20,317 --> 00:28:24,070
Jel na v�noce k rodi��m do do Connecticutu
446
00:28:24,112 --> 00:28:27,324
On toti� vyr�stal v Connecticutu,
v n�jak� zasran� d��e,
447
00:28:27,365 --> 00:28:30,160
v posran�m Connecticutu,
448
00:28:30,201 --> 00:28:31,937
a pak se tam nerad vracel.
449
00:28:32,038 --> 00:28:36,582
Je jedn�m z t�ch, kter�m se p�estalo l�bit
m�sto, odkud poch�zej�. A kdy� se tam vrac�,
450
00:28:36,624 --> 00:28:38,500
neum� si poradit s vlastn� rodinou,
451
00:28:38,542 --> 00:28:39,945
jeho rodina jsou rasist�
452
00:28:39,986 --> 00:28:42,255
a jezd� dom� nerad, ale
po��d je to domov.
453
00:28:42,297 --> 00:28:44,382
A tak jednou jel dom� na V�noce,
454
00:28:44,824 --> 00:28:47,509
cel� den se tam tak poflakovali.
pov�dali si,
455
00:28:47,551 --> 00:28:50,337
jedli, a jeho br�cha i t�ta oba
pracuj� v tov�rn�
456
00:28:50,338 --> 00:28:52,140
a br�cha si st�oval na pr�ci,
457
00:28:52,182 --> 00:28:55,925
��kal, "A pak ten zkurvenej negr
usnul ve vysokozdvi�n�m voz�ku."
458
00:28:55,926 --> 00:28:59,547
Kdy� to m�j kamar�d Mike
sly�el, �ekl si " Pane Bo�e!
459
00:28:59,688 --> 00:29:03,499
Pro� mus�m k t�mhle lidem pat�it?
Nesn��m to tu." A styd�l se.
460
00:29:03,534 --> 00:29:05,611
A pozd�ji ten ve�er
�el do kuchyn�
461
00:29:05,653 --> 00:29:08,239
a pil tepl� ml�ko,
nebo tak n�co...
462
00:29:08,281 --> 00:29:10,033
Ani nev�m, pro� m� to
463
00:29:10,075 --> 00:29:12,202
Ani nev�m, pro� m�
to rozesm�v�, ale
464
00:29:12,243 --> 00:29:15,038
asi to o n�m n�co ��k�.
�e je to poseroutka.
465
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:16,671
Ale ne...
466
00:29:16,706 --> 00:29:20,709
Prost� si tam chv�li u��val samoty, a
pak za n�m dol� p�i�el jeho bratranec.
467
00:29:20,710 --> 00:29:22,261
A toho bratrance on m� r�d.
468
00:29:22,303 --> 00:29:25,405
M� k n�mu z rodiny nejbl�, a ten
bratranec �ekl " Co je, vole?"
469
00:29:25,406 --> 00:29:27,384
A Mike ��k� : "Sakra, doufal jsem
470
00:29:27,425 --> 00:29:29,094
�e v�echno prob�hne norm�ln�,
471
00:29:29,135 --> 00:29:31,588
ale pak m�j br�cha
�ekne, �e byl v tov�rn�
472
00:29:31,630 --> 00:29:34,140
a ve vysokozdvi�n�m
voz�ku tam usnul negr."
473
00:29:34,182 --> 00:29:36,276
A jeho bratranec
na to: "Pane jo,
474
00:29:36,317 --> 00:29:39,286
ten negr usnul ve
vysokozdvi�n�m voz�ku?"
475
00:29:40,789 --> 00:29:42,732
Tak to je prvn�
��st p��b�hu, jo?
476
00:29:42,774 --> 00:29:44,899
No, tak�e Mike mi
takhle vypr�v�l,
477
00:29:44,934 --> 00:29:47,737
jak ho nikdo v jeho
rodin� neposlouch�.
478
00:29:47,779 --> 00:29:52,307
A pozd�ji jsem psal pro jednu televizn�
show pro Cedrica the Entertainera.
479
00:29:52,308 --> 00:29:55,661
Je to skv�l� chlap a pro svoj�
show si najal sc�n�risty,
480
00:29:55,696 --> 00:29:57,455
z p�lky b�lochy a
z p�lky �ernochy
481
00:29:57,497 --> 00:30:00,165
Jednou p�i ob�d� jsme se
bavili o ras�ch, �asto jsme
482
00:30:00,207 --> 00:30:02,584
tam vedli provokativn�
a zaj�mav� �e�i.
483
00:30:02,626 --> 00:30:05,922
Vym��ovali jsme si post�ehy o rasismu,
a j� vypr�v�l tuhle historku.
484
00:30:05,964 --> 00:30:09,426
Odvypr�v�l jsem to cel�, "eh, negr a
vysokozvi�nej voz�k!" a jak bratranec
485
00:30:09,467 --> 00:30:14,596
reagoval "Ehh, negr na vysokozdvi�n�m
voz�ku!". A pak jeden ze sc�n�rist�, �ernoch,
486
00:30:14,597 --> 00:30:18,867
pov�d� "Nen� nic hor��ho, ne� kdy�
negr usne na vysokozdvi�n�m voz�ku,
487
00:30:20,837 --> 00:30:23,298
t�m to kaz� n�m ostatn�m."
488
00:30:26,525 --> 00:30:28,278
A tak po��d nikomu
tak �pln� nedoch�z�
489
00:30:28,319 --> 00:30:32,573
��m si m�j kamar�d pro�el.
490
00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:38,121
A je�t� pak asi za rok,
491
00:30:38,163 --> 00:30:39,956
jsem byl u sv�ho kamar�da Dina.
492
00:30:39,998 --> 00:30:41,041
Dino je �ek.
493
00:30:41,082 --> 00:30:44,043
Jemu o nic nejde, nep�ikl�n�
se na ��dnou stranu.
494
00:30:44,085 --> 00:30:46,304
Je to �ek. �ekov�
nejsou b�l�, ani �ern�.
495
00:30:46,446 --> 00:30:49,714
Prost� jen tak kouk� s
t�m sv�m velk�m nosem.
496
00:30:53,669 --> 00:30:55,930
Tak jsem Dinovi
vypr�v�l tu historku,
497
00:30:55,972 --> 00:30:58,699
"Uhh, vysokozdvi�n� voz�k,"
a bratranec: "Uhh!"
498
00:30:58,741 --> 00:31:01,602
A pak o tom �ern�m sc�n�ristovi.
499
00:31:01,643 --> 00:31:05,130
A Dino �ekl "Jak se d� usnout
ve vysokozdvi�n�m voz�ku?"
500
00:31:14,991 --> 00:31:18,786
Moj� star�� dce�i bude p��t� rok t�in�ct.
To je velk� v�c...
501
00:31:18,787 --> 00:31:21,689
Rodi�e se star��mi d�tmi
v�m v�dycky tvrd� "Jo, jo
502
00:31:21,730 --> 00:31:25,752
Po�kejte, a� j� bude...
503
00:31:25,794 --> 00:31:29,588
To budete koukat...
504
00:31:30,707 --> 00:31:32,342
J� se jej� puberty neboj�m.
505
00:31:32,383 --> 00:31:35,553
Bude to slo�it� a n�ro�n�,
ale v�te co, ona to zvl�dne.
506
00:31:35,795 --> 00:31:39,808
J� jsem na svoje d�ti py�n� a ona je hodn�
holka. N�kte�� rodi�e se dcer boj�.
507
00:31:39,849 --> 00:31:43,061
Hlavn� t�tov� maj� strach,
"j� nev�m, co m�m d�lat"
508
00:31:43,103 --> 00:31:47,115
M�m jednoho kamar�da,jeho dce�i je 15, a
ten taky "Ona za�ne sexu�ln� ��t!
509
00:31:47,156 --> 00:31:48,417
J� nev�m, co s t�m!
510
00:31:48,858 --> 00:31:51,528
Ona bude m�t sex, co
s t�m m�m d�lat?"
511
00:31:51,569 --> 00:31:53,905
��k�m mu. " No, ty ned�lej nic.
512
00:31:53,947 --> 00:31:56,199
V tomhle nehraje�
v�bec ��dnou roli.
513
00:31:56,241 --> 00:31:58,993
Jsi jej� otec,
nem� tady ��dnou �lohu.
514
00:31:59,035 --> 00:32:02,375
Neo�ek�vaj� se od tebe
rady, podpora, prost� nic.
515
00:32:04,408 --> 00:32:07,377
"Ale co kdy� bude m�t n�jak�
�patn� z�itek se sexem?"
516
00:32:07,418 --> 00:32:10,296
No jo, t�ch ur�it� p�r m�t bude.
517
00:32:10,338 --> 00:32:12,715
To rozhodn�.
518
00:32:12,757 --> 00:32:15,100
Cel� �ivot se bude
c�tit, jakoby chodila
519
00:32:15,142 --> 00:32:17,929
v bou�ce, p�i n� padaj�
nemotorn� �ur�ky...
520
00:32:19,430 --> 00:32:21,640
Au!
521
00:32:21,682 --> 00:32:22,934
U� zase �ur�ky...
522
00:32:22,976 --> 00:32:24,727
Je��i! To snad kurva ne...
523
00:32:24,769 --> 00:32:25,854
Tenhle byl velikej.
524
00:32:25,895 --> 00:32:28,281
Kurva dr�t, chci se
jen dostat do pr�ce.
525
00:32:40,285 --> 00:32:41,452
Ta mal�, dev�tilet�
526
00:32:41,494 --> 00:32:42,669
m� trochu jednodu��� �ivot.
527
00:32:42,704 --> 00:32:45,582
Chod� do kurzu stepov�n�.
528
00:32:45,623 --> 00:32:48,409
Zapsali jsme ji na
stepov�n�, proto�e mysl�me
529
00:32:48,451 --> 00:32:51,004
�e a� vyroste, budou
zase t�ic�t� l�ta.
530
00:32:51,045 --> 00:32:52,630
A to v�te,
531
00:32:53,672 --> 00:32:55,766
bude m�t p�ipraveno aspo� tohle,
532
00:32:55,808 --> 00:32:58,193
i kdy� nikoho nebav�
se na to d�vat.
533
00:32:58,386 --> 00:33:01,188
V�te, kdo tvo�� obecenstvo
p�i vystoupen� stepa��?
534
00:33:01,230 --> 00:33:03,016
Rodi�e.
535
00:33:03,057 --> 00:33:04,851
Jinak v�bec nikdo
.
536
00:33:04,893 --> 00:33:09,522
Pon�vad� na konci ka�d�ho semestru
mus�me v�ichni p�ij�t na vystoupen�,
537
00:33:09,564 --> 00:33:11,191
to p�iprav� velkou show v divadle.
538
00:33:11,232 --> 00:33:12,967
A vystoup� tam v�echny d�ti,
539
00:33:13,009 --> 00:33:15,120
stepuj� ve skupin�ch po t�ech.
540
00:33:15,361 --> 00:33:18,198
T�ch d�t� je asi �est tis�c
541
00:33:18,239 --> 00:33:20,700
a ka�d� stepuje
tak dvacet minut,
542
00:33:20,742 --> 00:33:23,453
tak�e ta show trv� sedm m�s�c�
543
00:33:23,494 --> 00:33:26,623
a nakonec v�ichni um�ou.
544
00:33:26,664 --> 00:33:31,260
Ale p�ijdete, proto�e chcete vid�t
stepovat svoje d�t�, co� je ��asn� v�c,
545
00:33:31,301 --> 00:33:33,630
proto�e ona b�vala nemluvn�...
546
00:33:33,671 --> 00:33:35,256
D��v um�la jenom...
547
00:33:35,840 --> 00:33:38,134
a nic v�c. A te� d�l� tohle.
548
00:33:40,553 --> 00:33:42,305
Je to ��asn�.
549
00:33:42,347 --> 00:33:46,392
Ale mus�te se d�vat na v�echny ty
ostatn� d�ti, kter� v�bec nem�te r�di.
550
00:33:48,453 --> 00:33:50,939
A mus�te se d�vat i na
dosp�l�, taky stepuj�.
551
00:33:50,980 --> 00:33:54,192
Jsou to odrostl�, dosp�l�
studenti, a vystupuj� tam.
552
00:33:54,234 --> 00:33:56,945
Vypadn�te!Nikdo sem
nep�i�el kv�li v�m!
553
00:33:56,986 --> 00:33:58,112
Nikdo!
554
00:33:58,154 --> 00:34:01,206
Va�i rodi�e jsou
mrtv�, je v�m 52!
555
00:34:03,076 --> 00:34:06,079
A z pr�ce nep�i�el nikdo.
Nikdo z pr�ce nep�i�el!
556
00:34:12,418 --> 00:34:16,256
Beru ji na stepov�n� ka�d� �tvrtek.
557
00:34:16,297 --> 00:34:19,384
P�ijedeme do �koly a ona
si obuje stepovac� boty
558
00:34:19,526 --> 00:34:21,427
a jde do takov� mal� m�stnosti.
559
00:34:21,469 --> 00:34:24,506
J� ani nejdu dovnit�, ona
stepuje a j� �ek�m venku
560
00:34:24,547 --> 00:34:28,417
proto�e to trv� 40 minut a
nestihl bych si zajet n�kam jinam.
561
00:34:28,459 --> 00:34:31,562
Tak tam sed�m a poslouch�m...
562
00:34:33,314 --> 00:34:36,401
A pak vyjde ven "M� u� to nebav�.
U� sem nechci chodit."
563
00:34:36,442 --> 00:34:38,944
Dob�e, necho�. M� se
nechce t� sem vozit.
564
00:34:39,086 --> 00:34:41,489
Klidn� toho nech.
565
00:34:41,531 --> 00:34:42,573
M� je to jedno.
566
00:34:42,615 --> 00:34:44,867
Nebudu svoje d�ti tla�it
do takov�ch v�c�.
567
00:34:44,909 --> 00:34:46,802
Pak se sami mus�te z��astnit.
568
00:34:46,844 --> 00:34:48,204
A to se mi nechce.
569
00:34:48,246 --> 00:34:50,039
"Tati, j� nechci hr�t fotbal."
570
00:34:50,081 --> 00:34:53,209
Fotbal z na�ich
�ivot� zmiz� nav�dy,
571
00:34:53,251 --> 00:34:56,254
jakmile dozn� ta slova z
tv�ch �st.
572
00:34:56,296 --> 00:34:58,006
Fotbal je pry�.
573
00:34:58,047 --> 00:35:02,001
M� je to jedno. Necho� ani do
�koly, m� se nechce vst�vat v sedm.
574
00:35:02,635 --> 00:35:05,863
Nemus� z toho d�lat nic, zlato.
M� na tom nez�le��.
575
00:35:05,905 --> 00:35:09,709
J� pen�ze m�m, jen z�sta� doma a jez.
Z�sta� a jez.
576
00:35:11,445 --> 00:35:17,215
Nepo�izujte si d�ti, ty ani sestra, j�
n�s budu v�echny �ivit a pak um�eme.
577
00:35:22,740 --> 00:35:23,740
To je m�j c�l.
578
00:35:23,741 --> 00:35:26,826
Chci vyd�lat dost pen�z, abychom
se mohli zamknout
579
00:35:26,868 --> 00:35:28,494
a cp�t se.
580
00:35:28,536 --> 00:35:29,536
To je cel�.
581
00:35:31,372 --> 00:35:35,851
"Tati, co budeme dneska d�lat?" "Jdi do
j�delny, n�co si vyber a jdi do postele"
582
00:35:37,937 --> 00:35:39,472
Nic v�c se po tob� ne��d�.
583
00:35:41,140 --> 00:35:43,843
Lid� zbyte�n� moc p�em��l�
nad smyslem �ivota.
584
00:35:43,885 --> 00:35:45,636
�pln� se do toho zamot�vaj�.
585
00:35:45,678 --> 00:35:47,972
"Nev�m, co sipo��t se sv�m �ivotem
586
00:35:48,014 --> 00:35:51,142
Nev�m, ��m bych m�l b�t", nebo
587
00:35:51,184 --> 00:35:53,519
"Nev�m, co bych...
588
00:35:53,561 --> 00:35:55,563
co bybych jako m�l d�lat?
589
00:35:55,605 --> 00:35:58,566
Jako se sv�m �ivotem?"
590
00:36:00,568 --> 00:36:03,196
Vezmi j�dlo a str� ho sem...
591
00:36:03,237 --> 00:36:05,114
D�vej j�dlo sem. To je v�echno.
592
00:36:05,156 --> 00:36:06,949
Strkej dovnit� j�dlo.
593
00:36:06,991 --> 00:36:09,668
Cho� sem tam a hledej j�dlo.
594
00:36:09,703 --> 00:36:13,164
Jakmile uvid� j�dlo,
�up s n�m dovnit�.
595
00:36:13,206 --> 00:36:16,417
Seber ho a dej ho sem.
596
00:36:16,459 --> 00:36:18,086
A� pozd�ji uc�t� tlak,
597
00:36:18,127 --> 00:36:21,381
tudy vyser hovno.
598
00:36:22,423 --> 00:36:23,508
To je cel�.
599
00:36:23,549 --> 00:36:26,969
Kdy� ti n�kdo bude v �emkoli
z toho br�nit, zab ho.
600
00:36:31,641 --> 00:36:32,892
To je v�echno.
601
00:36:34,143 --> 00:36:36,145
Nemus� to b�t o nic slo�it�j��.
602
00:36:37,021 --> 00:36:39,198
Tohle d�lejte, a� do
zmrdi, a� do smrti.
603
00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:41,000
A� do smrti, zrmdi, smrti.
604
00:36:42,861 --> 00:36:45,656
Nev�m, jak dlouho budu ��t.
Nem�m ani tu�en�.
605
00:36:45,681 --> 00:36:48,596
Ve skute�nosti se to
�lov�k o sob� ani nedozv�.
606
00:36:49,909 --> 00:36:53,895
Nebudete m�t �as si ��ct, " Tak,
te� jsem mrtvej, tak�e do 80."
607
00:36:53,947 --> 00:36:58,200
Nev�te jist�, �e um�r�te, nejv��
v�s napadne, �e by to tak mohlo b�t.
608
00:36:58,342 --> 00:36:59,793
Jako posledn� my�lenka.
609
00:36:59,835 --> 00:37:02,171
"Tohle u� je asi konec."
610
00:37:05,091 --> 00:37:07,885
No jo, v�ichni jednou um�eme.
U� je to tak.
611
00:37:07,886 --> 00:37:09,929
A jednou na to ka�d� p�ijde.
612
00:37:09,971 --> 00:37:13,733
To je zvl�tnost lidsk�ho druhu, �e
�ijeme s v�dom�m toho, �e zem�eme.
613
00:37:13,774 --> 00:37:16,802
J� jsem na to, �e v�ichni
jednou um�ou, p�i�el v sedmi.
614
00:37:16,844 --> 00:37:18,083
�ekl mi to d�da.
615
00:37:18,118 --> 00:37:20,022
�ekl "V�ichni um�ou!"
616
00:37:21,524 --> 00:37:23,401
A to jsem s n�m ani nemluvil.
617
00:37:28,114 --> 00:37:30,899
Pr�v� jsem se sna�il
sfouknout sv��ky.
618
00:37:41,444 --> 00:37:44,831
Bylo mi sedm let, kdy� jsem
zjistil, �e ka�d� jednou um�e.
619
00:37:44,873 --> 00:37:48,584
Ani m� tolik nenadchlo to, �e
v�ichni um�ou, ale z to �e to v�m.
620
00:37:48,585 --> 00:37:51,603
V�d�l jsem, �e jsem moc
mal�, abych v�d�l takovou v�c.
621
00:37:51,604 --> 00:37:54,273
V�t�ina m�ch kamar�d� to
nev�d�la a myslel jsem
622
00:37:54,314 --> 00:37:55,741
na to, jak jim to �eknu.
623
00:37:55,783 --> 00:37:57,977
Cht�l jsem b�t t�m,
kdo to v�em �ekne.
624
00:37:58,019 --> 00:37:59,708
Nejv�c jsem to
cht�l ��ct Benjimu
625
00:37:59,743 --> 00:38:03,024
tomu klukovi z prot�j��ho domu.
Tehle kluk, Benji, ...
626
00:38:03,065 --> 00:38:04,525
Nebyl to m�j kamar�d.
627
00:38:04,567 --> 00:38:09,270
M� bylo sedm a jemu �est, ale jak jsem
vy�el p�ed d�m, on se objevil taky
628
00:38:09,312 --> 00:38:10,839
a j� jenom "eh, to je on".
629
00:38:11,657 --> 00:38:13,151
Prost� jsem ho nesn�el.
630
00:38:13,193 --> 00:38:15,495
Nen�vid�l. Jako prvn�ho
�lov�ka v �ivot�.
631
00:38:15,536 --> 00:38:16,788
Byla to hlubok� nen�vist.
632
00:38:16,830 --> 00:38:21,083
Pro m� to byl zasranej
pojebanej zmrd.
633
00:38:21,125 --> 00:38:23,837
Tak jsem to c�til, a to jsem
ty slova ani neznal.
634
00:38:23,879 --> 00:38:27,006
M�l jsem to v sob� jako
nezpracovan� pocit
635
00:38:27,048 --> 00:38:29,550
a nem�l jak ho vyslovit.
636
00:38:29,592 --> 00:38:32,720
Na takov� pocit jsem byl moc mlad�,
ale pak jsem n�koho sly�el ��kat
637
00:38:32,721 --> 00:38:35,264
"zasranej pojebanej
zmrd" a pomyslel si
638
00:38:35,306 --> 00:38:36,516
To je ono, d�ky!
639
00:38:36,557 --> 00:38:39,393
Takhle p�esn�, jo!
Takhle se to...jo!
640
00:38:42,822 --> 00:38:46,242
No tak�e, jednou jsem byl p�ed
domem a p�es ulici jde sr�� Benji.
641
00:38:47,861 --> 00:38:51,405
A ��k� " J� m�m nov�
kolo", nebo tak n�co.
642
00:38:52,365 --> 00:38:55,535
A j� na to " Jednoho
dne zem�e�."
643
00:38:59,831 --> 00:39:03,668
A on prej " Co�e?
Ne, j� neum�u."
644
00:39:03,703 --> 00:39:05,211
Pov�d�m "Ale jo, zem�e�.
645
00:39:05,253 --> 00:39:07,088
Ka�d� um�e.
646
00:39:07,129 --> 00:39:11,300
Um�e� ty, a tvoje m�ma um�e
647
00:39:11,342 --> 00:39:13,511
a tv�j ta�ka um�e.
648
00:39:15,179 --> 00:39:16,179
V tomhle po�ad�."
649
00:39:19,893 --> 00:39:24,105
On se fakt na�tval a rozb�hl se.
650
00:39:24,146 --> 00:39:25,439
Po��d mi to p�ijde vtipn�,
651
00:39:25,481 --> 00:39:28,192
i po �ty�iceti letech m� to rozesm�je.
652
00:39:28,234 --> 00:39:32,280
Jasn� to vid�m a rozesm�v� m� to.
653
00:39:32,321 --> 00:39:34,407
Ut�kej, Benji!
654
00:39:35,491 --> 00:39:41,330
Tomuhle neute�e�, ty d�vko.
Dostane t�!
655
00:39:43,416 --> 00:39:45,734
Zaj�malo by m�, jestli je mrtv�.
656
00:39:46,044 --> 00:39:47,044
Ka�dop�dn�...
657
00:39:47,045 --> 00:39:49,923
Vr�til se se svoj� m�mou,
658
00:39:49,965 --> 00:39:52,759
jeho m�ma m�la
vztek a j� se j� b�l.
659
00:39:52,801 --> 00:39:56,554
Jeho m�ma p�i�la ke mn�,
"Cos mu to �ekl?"
660
00:39:56,596 --> 00:40:00,474
A j� na to " Jen jsem mu
�ekl, �e v�ichni um�ou "
661
00:40:00,516 --> 00:40:04,186
A ona prej, "No, to
nemus� b�t nutn� pravda."
662
00:40:05,856 --> 00:40:08,649
J� na to "Co�e"
663
00:40:08,691 --> 00:40:11,778
A ona "No, n�kte�� lid�
um�ou, ale ne v�ichni."
664
00:40:13,864 --> 00:40:15,866
A j� m�l hned tolik ot�zek.
665
00:40:15,907 --> 00:40:18,117
Zeptal jsem se, a co t�eba...
666
00:40:18,159 --> 00:40:21,454
A co Abraham Lincoln a
George Washington, ti jsou mrtv�.
667
00:40:21,495 --> 00:40:23,939
A ona �e " Jo, ale t�m
se n�co stalo.
668
00:40:23,940 --> 00:40:27,551
George Washington se o sebe
nestaral a Lincolna zast�elili.
669
00:40:27,752 --> 00:40:30,213
Ale spousta lid� z t� doby je na�ivu."
670
00:40:30,255 --> 00:40:32,165
A j� na to " Fakt?
671
00:40:32,907 --> 00:40:35,593
A co t�eba lidi z Bible?"
672
00:40:35,635 --> 00:40:38,220
A ona �ekla " No, j� ...
My u� mus�me j�t"
673
00:40:38,262 --> 00:40:42,432
A pak ode�la, poroto�e si podle m�
uv�domila, �e to bude ��m d�l hor��.
674
00:40:42,433 --> 00:40:45,519
�e nen� v tomhle sporu
na spr�vn� stran�.
675
00:40:49,048 --> 00:40:52,943
A pak jsem �el za m�mou a
vypr�v�l j� to a ona pov�d� t�m
676
00:40:52,968 --> 00:40:56,526
se netrap, ta �ensk� je �pln�
blb�, neposlouchej j�.
677
00:40:56,597 --> 00:41:00,817
Moje m�ma mi �ekla "T�m se
netrap, zlato, ty um�e� ur�it�."
678
00:41:01,769 --> 00:41:02,895
Mm-hmm.
679
00:41:03,687 --> 00:41:05,064
Mm-hmm.
680
00:41:07,192 --> 00:41:10,027
Lid� z Bible.
681
00:41:10,361 --> 00:41:14,080
Zaj�malo by m�, jestli ti lid�
v�d�li, �e se dostanou do Bible.
682
00:41:14,115 --> 00:41:17,494
T�eba n�kdo �ekl "Ho�i, tohle
se ur�it� dostane do Bible ...
683
00:41:17,535 --> 00:41:19,245
To rozhodn�. Ho��i,
684
00:41:19,287 --> 00:41:22,748
v�ichni m� posloluchejte,
my budeme v Bibli!
685
00:41:23,374 --> 00:41:27,586
Mus�m si nechat ud�lat vlasy,
aby mi to v Bibli slu��elo.
686
00:41:33,551 --> 00:41:35,553
Jo, a te� mi ned�vno um�el pes.
687
00:41:36,595 --> 00:41:40,849
Musel jsem d�tem ��ct, �e je mrtv�. Je to
t�k� �kol, ��ct d�tem, �e ten pes um�el.
688
00:41:40,891 --> 00:41:42,102
Jednou jim to ��ct mus�te.
689
00:41:42,143 --> 00:41:46,814
Nem��ete po��d d�lat: " Co�e? Ne,
je t�mhle... Kam zase zmizel?"
690
00:41:47,315 --> 00:41:50,443
Pod�vej, t�mhle jde.
691
00:41:50,485 --> 00:41:52,570
To je ale ro���k mr�avej.
692
00:41:53,612 --> 00:41:54,905
P�ive� ho sem!
693
00:41:56,616 --> 00:42:00,660
�ekl jsem d�tem, �e pes um�el a zvl�dli
jsme to. A m�l jsem radost z toho,
694
00:42:00,661 --> 00:42:02,546
jak dok�zaly vyj�d�it
svoje pocity.
695
00:42:02,547 --> 00:42:07,643
Bre�ely. Byl jsem hrd� na to, jak se vypo��d�valy
s pocity, jak o tom mluvily a zpracov�valy to.
696
00:42:07,684 --> 00:42:09,661
a do�lo mi, �e je to pozitivn� v�c.
697
00:42:09,702 --> 00:42:14,740
Takhle jako rodi� za�nete uva�ovat, spousta v�c�
se uk�e b�t pozitivn�, i kdy� se tak nezdaj�,
698
00:42:14,781 --> 00:42:16,668
proto�e �mrt� psa je p��le�itost
699
00:42:16,709 --> 00:42:18,419
nau�it d�ti vyrovnat
se se smrt�.
700
00:42:18,461 --> 00:42:20,347
Je to takov� tr�nink na babi�ku.
701
00:42:21,514 --> 00:42:23,016
No v�n�, je to tak.
702
00:42:23,309 --> 00:42:26,045
Um�e pes, tak o tom
mluv�te, srovn�te se s t�m.
703
00:42:26,087 --> 00:42:30,656
O n�co pozd�ji �eknete, Hele, pamatuje�,
co jsme si tenkr�t ��kali? O tom psovi?
704
00:42:30,657 --> 00:42:32,742
No, tak te� babi�ka...
705
00:42:34,571 --> 00:42:36,738
Mm-hmm.
706
00:42:37,990 --> 00:42:41,701
�pln� stejn� v�c. Jo, jo. Tak
fajn, jdi si vy�istit zuby.
707
00:42:46,416 --> 00:42:48,667
Jako kluk jsem m�l psa
708
00:42:48,709 --> 00:42:51,795
a ten m� nesn�el, a to
m� opravdu zra�ovalo.
709
00:42:51,837 --> 00:42:53,506
��k�m v�m pravdu, m�j
pes m� nesn�el a j�
710
00:42:53,548 --> 00:42:55,508
j� ho tak moc cht�l,
bylo mi asi deset let,
711
00:42:55,550 --> 00:42:57,085
prosil jsem svoj� m�mu o psa
712
00:42:57,127 --> 00:43:01,472
a ona v�dycky ��kala, u� jsi psa m�,l kdy�
jsi byl nemluvn� a on um�el, tak�e nic.
713
00:43:01,514 --> 00:43:03,516
Nakonec ale �ekla, dovol�m ti psa,
714
00:43:03,558 --> 00:43:05,435
kdy� udr�� m�s�c
po��dek v pokoji.
715
00:43:05,476 --> 00:43:09,354
Byl jsem tak nad�en�, dostanu psa! V�em
kamar�d�m jsem �ekl, �e ho budu m�t.
716
00:43:09,355 --> 00:43:11,566
Jenom mus�m udr�et v
pokoji m�s�c po��dek.
717
00:43:11,608 --> 00:43:14,611
Vydr�el jsem asi t�den a
pak se to �pln� posralo.
718
00:43:14,652 --> 00:43:18,938
Nedok�zal jsem to, a pak jsem se sna�il
asi t�i nebo �ty�i dny a ne�lo to.
719
00:43:18,939 --> 00:43:20,824
Dostal jsem z toho depresi.
720
00:43:20,866 --> 00:43:22,701
Myslel jsem si: Je mi
deset a u� te� v�m,
721
00:43:22,743 --> 00:43:26,331
�e m�j �ivot bude st�t za
hovno, proto�e jsem neschopn�.
722
00:43:27,290 --> 00:43:29,125
A nakonec moje m�ma �ekla Tak jo
723
00:43:29,167 --> 00:43:32,836
po��d�me toho psa, u� se
na tebe nem��eme d�vat.
724
00:43:33,921 --> 00:43:35,131
Tak�e n�m koupila psa.
725
00:43:35,173 --> 00:43:37,675
A ten pes se na m� pod�val a
nesn�el m�, u� od pohledu.
726
00:43:38,717 --> 00:43:43,847
A j� se tak sna�il se o n�j starat. Byl jsem na
n�j hodn� a on m� po��d nesn�el, co� m� bolelo.
727
00:43:43,848 --> 00:43:47,393
Bolelo to pr�v� proto. Proto�e jakoby
m� nesn�el za to, jak� jsem uvnit�.
728
00:43:49,728 --> 00:43:54,150
Dalo se poznat, co si mysl�, proto�e byl
dost drah�. Byl to teri�r, tak�e m�l obo��.
729
00:43:54,192 --> 00:43:57,778
T�eba jsem p�i�el do pokoje a
on ud�lal : A kurva, to ne...
730
00:43:57,819 --> 00:43:58,819
A prost� ode�el!
731
00:44:03,660 --> 00:44:08,330
Chodil jsem ho ven�it a musel jsem ho m�t na
vod�tku, i kdy� jsem to tak necht�l.
732
00:44:08,372 --> 00:44:10,791
Cht�l jsem b�t takov�
ten frajer se psem
733
00:44:10,832 --> 00:44:12,960
co si tak chod�, v�te,
prost� jeden z t�ch kluk�.
734
00:44:13,001 --> 00:44:15,421
Takov�, co m� ma�estrov�
sako se z�platami.
735
00:44:15,463 --> 00:44:17,607
A m� rozcuchan�
vlasy a ��k� �aues
736
00:44:17,649 --> 00:44:21,469
A pak nastoup� do sv�ho star�ho pickupu
a �ekne Tak poj�, pse. A ud�l�...
737
00:44:21,511 --> 00:44:24,513
V�ak v�te, jak tihle t�pci
um� frajejrsky p�skat, ne?
738
00:44:24,554 --> 00:44:25,565
No nic.
739
00:44:27,975 --> 00:44:30,728
A ten pes si nasko�� dozadu a
oba si jedou n�kam za�ukat
740
00:44:31,770 --> 00:44:33,855
proto�e jsou oba takov� fraje�i.
741
00:44:33,897 --> 00:44:34,897
Tak jsem to cht�l.
742
00:44:39,195 --> 00:44:41,614
Ale kdy� jsem �el se psem,
vod�tko bylo �pln� napnut�,
743
00:44:41,656 --> 00:44:44,950
asi takhle, ani toi nevypadalo jako
"To nic, my jsme v pohod�..."
744
00:44:44,992 --> 00:44:48,904
Sp� jako by ��kal "Hlavn� se dostat
co nejd�l od toho smrada."
745
00:44:48,946 --> 00:44:50,290
Celou dobu se �krtil
746
00:44:50,331 --> 00:44:53,917
"Nen�vid�m t�!
747
00:44:53,959 --> 00:44:55,961
Nen�vid�m t�!"
748
00:44:59,047 --> 00:45:03,719
A kdy� mi to vod�tko t�eba n�kdy vyklouzlo,
ud�lal "J� nejsem tv�j pes" a prost� utekl.
749
00:45:03,761 --> 00:45:07,055
Prchnul jako otrok,
prost� vyst�elil pry�.
750
00:45:11,269 --> 00:45:14,855
Takhle ut�kal, to
je v�sti�n� popis.
751
00:45:15,189 --> 00:45:16,274
Takhle ut�kal.
752
00:45:16,316 --> 00:45:18,901
Neb�el jako jelen.
Jelen b�� takhle...
753
00:45:18,943 --> 00:45:21,069
On ut�kal takhle.
754
00:45:28,060 --> 00:45:29,645
Utekl mockr�t
755
00:45:29,687 --> 00:45:32,488
a pak n�m zavolali z �tulku.
"Dobr� den, m�me va�eho psa".
756
00:45:32,523 --> 00:45:35,568
A v pozad� jste sly�eli m�ho psa "Ne...
757
00:45:38,361 --> 00:45:39,361
To mysl�te v�n�?
758
00:45:39,989 --> 00:45:41,615
��kal jsem v�m, �e nechci..."
759
00:45:44,660 --> 00:45:47,163
Nikdy jsem nebyl velk�
milovn�k zv��at.
760
00:45:47,204 --> 00:45:48,748
N�kter� zv��ata nesn��m.
761
00:45:48,789 --> 00:45:53,918
Netop�ry, mysl�m, �e jsou hnusn�...
Netop�ry nesn��m.
762
00:45:53,919 --> 00:45:57,173
Jsou to krysy s ko�en�mi k��dly.
763
00:45:57,214 --> 00:46:01,050
Vid�li jste n�kdy, jak se tak rozhl�ej�?
N�koho mi p�ipom�naj�, �e jo?
764
00:46:01,051 --> 00:46:02,553
Maj� obli�eje.
765
00:46:02,595 --> 00:46:04,221
Je to nechutn�.
766
00:46:04,889 --> 00:46:05,889
Netop�ry nesn��m.
767
00:46:05,890 --> 00:46:10,425
A v�m, �e se o nich d� vykl�dat spousta
v�c� na zp�sob "V�d�li jste, �e netop��i
768
00:46:10,426 --> 00:46:14,213
vyr�b�j� v�echen francouzsk�
chleba na sv�t�?", a tak podobn�.
769
00:46:15,281 --> 00:46:16,281
M� je to jedno.
770
00:46:18,660 --> 00:46:20,278
J� je nesn��m.
771
00:46:24,116 --> 00:46:27,410
M�l jsem s netop�ry
nep��jemn� z�itek.
772
00:46:29,622 --> 00:46:30,765
Letos v l�t�
773
00:46:30,807 --> 00:46:33,041
Letos v l�t� jsme
si pronajali domek
774
00:46:33,083 --> 00:46:34,835
Najal jsem d�m pro sebe a d�ti.
775
00:46:34,876 --> 00:46:38,612
S b�valou �enou se o d�ti st��d�me
a letos v l�t� jsme to m�li nap�l.
776
00:46:38,713 --> 00:46:42,716
Na m�s�c jely s n�, na druh� se
mnou, tak jsem najal p�kn� d�m na venkov�
777
00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:46,521
a bylo to kr�sn�, d�tem se tam
l�bilo, ale chodily sp�t v osm.
778
00:46:46,562 --> 00:46:49,524
Tak jsem pak le�el, ale
nespal a t��sl se hr�zou.
779
00:46:49,566 --> 00:46:50,567
Hr�zou.
780
00:46:50,643 --> 00:46:52,043
Venkov mi nah�n� strach,
781
00:46:52,044 --> 00:46:54,647
proto�e je tam ticho
a tajemn� atmosf�ra.
782
00:46:54,688 --> 00:46:57,191
Stromy a tma.
783
00:46:57,233 --> 00:46:59,777
Bydl�m v New Yorku a c�t�m
se tam �pln� v bezpe��.
784
00:46:59,819 --> 00:47:04,657
Obklopuj� m� vrazi a
pedofilov� a �id�.
785
00:47:04,698 --> 00:47:07,408
Promi�te.
786
00:47:07,409 --> 00:47:09,703
Chi ��ct, je jich..
Je jich tam hodn�...
787
00:47:09,745 --> 00:47:10,805
A tak...
788
00:47:12,931 --> 00:47:15,416
Jednou v noci, v tomhle
venkovsk�m dom� le��m
789
00:47:15,458 --> 00:47:18,845
a nem��u usnout, jenom v duchu
pros�m, a� u� kurva vyjde to slunce.
790
00:47:18,886 --> 00:47:22,390
abych mohl sp�t p�es den,
kdy� m�m b�t s d�tmi.
791
00:47:23,843 --> 00:47:25,261
Le��m tam a nem��u sp�t.
792
00:47:25,302 --> 00:47:27,012
Moje lo�nice je nad kuchyn� a
793
00:47:27,054 --> 00:47:30,190
najednou sly��m tohle. P��sah�m
Bohu, byl to tenhle zvuk.
794
00:47:34,278 --> 00:47:36,105
Sly�el jsem ho naprosto jasn�.
795
00:47:36,146 --> 00:47:37,898
A hned mi za�alo tlouct srdce.
796
00:47:37,940 --> 00:47:40,109
��k�m si, J� tu snad
dostanu infarkt,
797
00:47:40,150 --> 00:47:42,712
v kuchyni je �arod�jnice!
798
00:47:43,054 --> 00:47:45,281
Tak hlavn�, �arod�jnice existuj�.
799
00:47:45,322 --> 00:47:48,675
V tu chv�li jsem v�bec nepochyboval,
�e �arod�jnice existuj�.
800
00:47:48,717 --> 00:47:50,794
Tak lehce jsem se
nechal p�esv�d�it.
801
00:47:50,835 --> 00:47:52,353
�arod�jnice existuj�.
802
00:47:54,206 --> 00:47:57,501
A jedna je v kuchyni,
mus�m tam dol� j�t.
803
00:47:57,543 --> 00:47:59,920
Sice se mi nechce,
ale mus�m, jinak
804
00:47:59,955 --> 00:48:02,298
dostane d�ti, d�ti ony r�dy.
805
00:48:03,048 --> 00:48:05,885
Tak�e jdu dol� a jsem vyd�en�.
806
00:48:05,926 --> 00:48:08,386
Stoj�m za dve�mi do kuchyn�,
807
00:48:08,428 --> 00:48:09,930
takhle, asi hodinu.
808
00:48:09,972 --> 00:48:13,809
B�l jsem se j�t dovnit�, dokud
jsem nezapojil trochu logiky
809
00:48:13,851 --> 00:48:16,228
a nedo�lo mi, �e i kdyby
tam �arod�jnice byla,
810
00:48:16,270 --> 00:48:18,146
p�ece neud�l� jenom ten zvuk
811
00:48:18,188 --> 00:48:20,107
a pak tam nebude hodinu st�t.
812
00:48:21,817 --> 00:48:24,493
Tak�e jdu dovnit� a v
kuchyni nikdo nen�.
813
00:48:24,528 --> 00:48:28,365
A pak se ten zvuk ozval
znovu, byla to my�ka.
814
00:48:29,407 --> 00:48:31,660
My�ka m� takov� zvl�tn� potrub�
815
00:48:31,702 --> 00:48:34,246
a kdy� j�m prot�k� m�dlo,
je to dost sly�et.
816
00:48:34,288 --> 00:48:35,915
Nev�m pro�, ale d�l�...
817
00:48:37,708 --> 00:48:41,103
Bylo hodn� zvl�tn� tu
my�ku p�i tom pozorovat.
818
00:48:41,145 --> 00:48:43,923
Pomyslel jsem si, tak
jo, v�echno v pohod�.
819
00:48:43,964 --> 00:48:45,966
Jsem za vodou,
��dn� �arod�jnice.
820
00:48:47,259 --> 00:48:48,802
Chyst�m se j�t nahoru, a
821
00:48:48,844 --> 00:48:52,556
netop�r, zkurvenej
hovadnej netop�r
822
00:48:52,598 --> 00:48:55,381
si vybral tuhle chv�li.
Jakoby k�i�el Ha, ha ha!,
823
00:48:55,416 --> 00:48:57,728
prolet�l mi t�sn� vedle hlavy, takhle,
824
00:48:57,770 --> 00:48:59,104
a j� vyk�ikl "���!"
825
00:48:59,146 --> 00:49:01,774
a spadl jsem na podlahu.
826
00:49:01,815 --> 00:49:03,400
"���!"
827
00:49:04,860 --> 00:49:07,613
Okam�it� jsem zalezl do sp�e,
828
00:49:07,655 --> 00:49:10,266
zav�el dve�e a vyto�il 911.
829
00:49:13,478 --> 00:49:17,730
Nev�m, jestli jste n�kdy volali 911, ale
a� kdy� to zvedli ,uv�domil jsem si
830
00:49:17,772 --> 00:49:19,740
�e nev�m, jak to spr�vn� ��ct...
831
00:49:20,084 --> 00:49:21,961
"911, co se stalo?"
832
00:49:22,002 --> 00:49:25,839
"Promi�te, moc se
omlouv�m, �e obt�uji.
833
00:49:25,881 --> 00:49:27,633
Mo�n� vol�m �patn�."
834
00:49:29,259 --> 00:49:34,472
Ta pan� pov�d� "Co m�te za probl�m, pane?"
�ekl jsem, "V m�m dom� je netop�r.
835
00:49:34,507 --> 00:49:35,807
A m� se to nel�b�."
836
00:49:38,978 --> 00:49:42,205
Ale byla na m� hodn�, proto�e
to byla venkovsk� 911ka.
837
00:49:43,206 --> 00:49:46,234
Kdy� zavol�te na 911 v New
Yorku, "m�m v dom� netop�ra!"
838
00:49:46,275 --> 00:49:51,020
�eknou " Pane, hned k v�m po�leme
hl�dku, aby v�s st�elila do ksichtu."
839
00:49:51,365 --> 00:49:54,201
Ale ona byla hodn�, �ekla
mi " Pane, my v�s ch�peme,
840
00:49:54,243 --> 00:49:56,537
jste rozveden�, l���te si
841
00:49:56,578 --> 00:49:58,380
t�m domem na venkov� mindr�ky,
842
00:49:58,422 --> 00:49:59,832
m�te toho nad hlavu."
843
00:50:02,001 --> 00:50:07,006
�ekla mi o jednom chl�pkovi, dala mi
��slo, zavolejte mu, to je chlap p�es netop�ry.
844
00:50:07,047 --> 00:50:10,718
Je to �lov�k, co se
zam��uje na netop�ry.
845
00:50:10,759 --> 00:50:14,471
M�l jsem pocit, �e si d�v� z�le�et
na tom, aby ne�ekla Batman.
846
00:50:14,513 --> 00:50:17,766
Tak se to sna�ila obej�t.
847
00:50:17,808 --> 00:50:21,186
"Je to samec �lov�ka, kter�...
Netop��i jsou jeho...
848
00:50:21,228 --> 00:50:23,439
Ne, ne�eknu Batman, nechci to ��ct"
849
00:50:25,899 --> 00:50:27,818
A tak jsem zavolal Batmana
850
00:50:29,778 --> 00:50:30,821
a on p�i�el.
851
00:50:30,863 --> 00:50:33,240
Byl jsem ve sp�i a
koukal se �kv�rou ven,
852
00:50:33,282 --> 00:50:36,535
netop�r byl na strop�, visel
hlavou dol� a rozhl�el se.
853
00:50:38,996 --> 00:50:41,582
Nejhnusn�j�� tvor na sv�t�.
854
00:50:41,623 --> 00:50:44,043
A pak se kone�n� ozvalo
zaklep�n� a vyrazil jsem,
855
00:50:44,084 --> 00:50:48,547
doplazil jsem se ke dve��m a otev�el je.
On pov�d� "Dobr� den,
856
00:50:48,589 --> 00:50:50,841
kde je ten netop�r?"
857
00:50:50,883 --> 00:50:53,093
J� na to "���!"
858
00:50:55,220 --> 00:50:58,098
Tak ten chlap do�el do kuchyn�
859
00:50:58,140 --> 00:51:00,809
a prost� toho netop�ra sebral.
860
00:51:04,313 --> 00:51:05,355
To bylo v�echno.
861
00:51:06,398 --> 00:51:07,983
Prost� ho vzal.
862
00:51:09,902 --> 00:51:11,236
�ekl "Tak dobr�?"
863
00:51:12,821 --> 00:51:14,573
Jo, zm�knul jsi to v�born�.
864
00:51:15,908 --> 00:51:17,409
To je ��asn�.
865
00:51:18,660 --> 00:51:22,664
Bylo to, jako bych n�komu zavolal a �ekl "
Pom�c, m�m na stole krabici kapesn��k�!"
866
00:51:28,003 --> 00:51:29,838
�, d�ky Bohu.
867
00:51:31,340 --> 00:51:33,801
To je �leva, m�t v dom� chlapa.
868
00:51:38,830 --> 00:51:45,295
D�te si �aj��ek? Ne�ekala
jsem spole�nost.
869
00:51:45,337 --> 00:51:48,423
�, rozepla se mi r�ba.
870
00:51:48,465 --> 00:51:50,509
Vid�l moje prsa.
871
00:51:50,968 --> 00:51:51,968
���!
872
00:51:51,969 --> 00:51:53,930
Co budeme d�lat?
873
00:51:56,097 --> 00:51:57,097
Pane Batmane?
874
00:52:02,270 --> 00:52:05,857
V�te, te� jsem tomu
netop�rovi vd��n�,
875
00:52:05,899 --> 00:52:08,109
proto�e te� m� o�uk�te.
876
00:52:14,032 --> 00:52:15,534
Neo�uk�te?
877
00:52:17,869 --> 00:52:20,038
No dob�e, tak si tedy jd�te.
878
00:52:20,789 --> 00:52:22,457
Nedok�u s t�m p�estat.
879
00:52:23,625 --> 00:52:24,668
Je mi l�to.
880
00:52:28,380 --> 00:52:31,132
V�dycky r�d pokra�uji,
dokud se lid� sm�j�.
881
00:52:32,509 --> 00:52:34,511
A kurva, to je ale...
882
00:52:34,553 --> 00:52:36,388
Za��n� m� to znerv�z�ovat.
883
00:52:36,429 --> 00:52:39,266
Co kdybych d�lal jen tohle,
t�eba �ty�icet minut?
884
00:52:39,307 --> 00:52:41,309
No, jestli jste mi
necht�l pomoct,
885
00:52:41,350 --> 00:52:42,935
pro� jste sem v�bec chodil?
886
00:52:45,230 --> 00:52:48,567
Jsem tu cel� den sama a
u� to p�est�v�m zvl�dat.
887
00:52:50,735 --> 00:52:52,696
Tak jo, tak jo...
888
00:52:52,737 --> 00:52:53,780
Tak�e...
Ne, ne...
889
00:52:53,822 --> 00:52:55,323
Ned�lejte to...
890
00:52:55,365 --> 00:52:56,658
Nechte toho.
891
00:52:58,911 --> 00:53:02,999
Byl jsem jednou v New Yorku,
v metru na n�stupi�ti
892
00:53:03,040 --> 00:53:08,378
a zahl�dl jsem dv�
krysy, jak mrdaj�.
893
00:53:08,420 --> 00:53:12,257
To jsem nikdy p�edt�m nevid�l.
Tak si ��k�m A sakra.
894
00:53:12,299 --> 00:53:14,551
Tady mrdaj� dv� krysy.
895
00:53:14,593 --> 00:53:19,764
A tak jsem na n� koukal, proto�e
krysy v�s p�i mrd�n� nechaj� koukat.
896
00:53:19,806 --> 00:53:21,017
Ned�laj� z toho v�du.
897
00:53:21,058 --> 00:53:23,685
Nemus�te to d�lat takhle...
898
00:53:31,192 --> 00:53:33,678
Fakt se na n� m��ete
�pln� norm�ln� d�vat.
899
00:53:35,347 --> 00:53:38,116
Hmm, jo takhle...
900
00:53:38,717 --> 00:53:41,453
No a tak se na n� d�v�m,
jen tak ze zv�davosti.
901
00:53:41,494 --> 00:53:44,623
Nebylo ani tak p�ekvapiv�,
jak to d�laly.
902
00:53:44,664 --> 00:53:47,592
Nebylo to tak, �e by ona
byla naho�e a d�lala mmm.
903
00:53:49,052 --> 00:53:50,052
Mmm.
904
00:53:53,556 --> 00:53:55,092
Mmm, mmm, mm.
905
00:53:56,134 --> 00:53:57,469
D�ky.
906
00:53:57,510 --> 00:54:00,430
Tohle miluju, to je ono.
907
00:54:00,472 --> 00:54:01,806
Ooh!
908
00:54:01,848 --> 00:54:03,892
Mysl�m, �e te� p�edv�d�m
japonskou krysu, asi...
909
00:54:03,927 --> 00:54:08,229
"Ooh, s tebou se �uk� tak dob�e!
910
00:54:08,271 --> 00:54:11,775
Ohh! D�lej, Ricky, mrdej m�!"
911
00:54:11,816 --> 00:54:13,485
No dob�e, nev�m...
912
00:54:14,319 --> 00:54:17,739
Ka�dop�dn�, takhle
to v�bec nebylo.
913
00:54:19,407 --> 00:54:21,242
Byl to celkem
standardn� krys� mrd.
914
00:54:22,327 --> 00:54:25,163
On byl prost� naho�e,
915
00:54:25,205 --> 00:54:27,582
a jakoby j� zama�k�val
do chodn�ku
916
00:54:27,624 --> 00:54:28,624
a ona d�lala...
917
00:54:32,420 --> 00:54:36,091
A je se na n� d�val, ne �e bych
si zase nechal ujet vlak...
918
00:54:36,092 --> 00:54:38,135
Jenom dokud jsem tam �ekal.
919
00:54:39,095 --> 00:54:40,095
Byl jsem toti�
920
00:54:40,096 --> 00:54:42,014
Byl jsem zv�dav�.
921
00:54:42,056 --> 00:54:45,266
Nevzru�ilo m� to, jen
jsem byl zv�dav�.
922
00:54:45,308 --> 00:54:48,728
Cht�l jsem v�d�t, jak�
to bude, a� se on ud�l�.
923
00:54:48,770 --> 00:54:50,897
Jak� to je, kdy�
se ud�l� krys�k?
924
00:54:50,898 --> 00:54:54,567
Je to jenom biologie,
v�c bez v�n�,
925
00:54:54,609 --> 00:54:59,197
jenom takov� "nic moc!"? A potom jde hned
dom�? Nebo sp� �ekne " Jo, to byl n��ez!"
926
00:54:59,239 --> 00:55:02,200
D�l� potom "Ahhh..."
927
00:55:02,242 --> 00:55:03,660
Je to tak?
928
00:55:03,953 --> 00:55:07,622
Je to ext�ze? Je v tom orgasmus?
929
00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:12,293
Vypr�v�l jsem tuhle
historku svoj� kamar�dce.
930
00:55:12,335 --> 00:55:14,546
A ona na to "No, a co ta krys� holka?
931
00:55:15,089 --> 00:55:18,134
Co jej� orgasmus?
932
00:55:18,175 --> 00:55:24,431
Pro� ses nevc�til do n� a nezaj�mal
se o to, jak se ud�l� ona?"
933
00:55:24,472 --> 00:55:26,599
Co�e, jsi bl�zen?
934
00:55:26,641 --> 00:55:28,435
Krys� holky se neud�laj�.
935
00:55:28,476 --> 00:55:30,980
Nen� mo�n�, aby se krys� holka
ud�lala, kdy� mrd� s krys�kem.
936
00:55:31,221 --> 00:55:33,932
Za prv�, on to kv�li
n� nebude zadr�ovat.
937
00:55:33,973 --> 00:55:37,177
Nen� to ten typ kluka, to je vid�t.
Je mu to u prdele.
938
00:55:37,318 --> 00:55:39,487
Omrd� j� a p�jde, ani
nezn� jej� jm�no.
939
00:55:39,529 --> 00:55:44,359
Nebude jen sed�t, �ekat na n� a sna�it se
p�edstavovat si r�zn� v�ci, aby se neud�lal,
940
00:55:44,400 --> 00:55:48,287
t�eba ob�� pytle s odpadky, ve
kter�ch nen� ��dn� j�dlo, a tak.
941
00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:54,836
A i kdyby jo, je na n�stupi�ti v metru
942
00:55:54,878 --> 00:55:55,886
p�ed lidmi.
943
00:55:55,921 --> 00:55:59,133
Ona se nebude moct
dostat na to m�sto,
944
00:55:59,175 --> 00:56:05,889
na to skryt� m�sto, co
krys� holky pot�ebuj�,
945
00:56:05,924 --> 00:56:08,600
aby do�ly k orgasmu.
946
00:56:11,644 --> 00:56:14,005
J� toti� v�m, co krys�
holky pot�ebuj�.
947
00:56:14,723 --> 00:56:17,008
Dok�u krys� holku ud�lat.
948
00:56:18,027 --> 00:56:22,513
Opravdu, prost� ji zvednete a
podr��te vzh�ru nohama a prost�...
949
00:56:46,180 --> 00:56:48,623
Aby bylo jasn�, co
jsem te� d�lal...
950
00:56:49,816 --> 00:56:51,934
Chci se ujistit, �e
jste to pochopili.
951
00:56:51,976 --> 00:56:53,478
Plivnul jsem j� do pusy
952
00:56:53,520 --> 00:56:55,647
a z�rove� si pohr�val s jej� �i�kou.
953
00:56:57,482 --> 00:57:00,945
Neodsuzujte j�, takhle to m� r�da.
Ud�lal jsem to pro n�.
954
00:57:07,450 --> 00:57:13,455
D�val jsem se s dcerami na "Carod�je
ze Zem� Oz" - j� v�m, �e to je
955
00:57:15,583 --> 00:57:18,711
zvl�tn� d�t dohromady
zrovna tyhle dv� historky...
956
00:57:18,753 --> 00:57:22,507
O rejd�n� kryse prstem v
�iti a� do orgasmu
957
00:57:22,549 --> 00:57:25,885
a o tom, jak jsem se s
dcerami d�val na poh�dku,
958
00:57:25,920 --> 00:57:27,595
ale �ist� n�hodou se to stalo
959
00:57:27,637 --> 00:57:28,637
hned po sob�.
960
00:57:32,309 --> 00:57:36,688
V�t�ina v�c� se stane hned po
tom, co p�ivedu krysu k orgasmu.
961
00:57:37,982 --> 00:57:40,608
To d�l�m v noci. Je to m�j
962
00:57:40,650 --> 00:57:41,944
jedin� dobr� skutek..
963
00:57:43,028 --> 00:57:44,071
Tak jo.
964
00:57:45,197 --> 00:57:47,448
No tak�e jsem...
965
00:57:49,076 --> 00:57:54,615
Nap�ed v�m �eknu tohle. Byl jsem na ve�e�i v
New Yorku a sly�el jsem, jak se bav� dv� �ensk�.
966
00:57:54,657 --> 00:57:57,709
a jedna z nich vypr�v�la o
chlapovi, se kter�m chod�.
967
00:57:57,744 --> 00:58:01,554
Bylo jim asi 21, vypadaly na studentky
z NYU, a prob�raly to. V�te, tohle
968
00:58:01,555 --> 00:58:04,716
sl�ch�m �asto, �ensk� mluv�
o chlapovi se kter�m chod�
969
00:58:04,757 --> 00:58:07,510
a zkritizuje v�echno,
s ��m nen� spokojen�,
970
00:58:07,552 --> 00:58:08,720
to, co se j� nel�b�.
971
00:58:08,761 --> 00:58:13,297
Ona �ekne "On je takovej, v�dy� v�,
nap�u mu smsku a on neodep�e hned.
972
00:58:13,332 --> 00:58:16,503
A i kdy� odep�e, tak jenom
"Jak chce�" a to je divn�.
973
00:58:16,545 --> 00:58:19,648
A kdy� jsem se s n�m vid�la,
tak se choval divn�.
974
00:58:19,689 --> 00:58:23,118
Pak mi zavolal a �ekl
"Promi�, �e se chov�m divn�.
975
00:58:23,160 --> 00:58:25,795
M�m te� podivn� obdob�"
J� na to "To je jedno"
976
00:58:25,837 --> 00:58:28,908
A pak jsme spolu spali.
A je to cel� divn�."
977
00:58:28,949 --> 00:58:32,660
J� to poslouchal, proto�e jsem cht�l
v�d�t, co na to �ekne jej� kamar�dka.
978
00:58:32,702 --> 00:58:36,290
Cht�l jsem v�d�t, jak� ta jej� kamar�dka
je. A ona prost� �ekla "Je to sr��.
979
00:58:36,332 --> 00:58:39,459
Je to sr��.
980
00:58:39,500 --> 00:58:43,796
Nen� pro tebe dost dobrej,
proto�e ty jsi ��asn�.
981
00:58:43,838 --> 00:58:45,090
Ty jsi ��asn�
982
00:58:45,132 --> 00:58:50,320
a on se nedok�e vyrovnat
s t�m, jak jsi ��asn�."
983
00:58:50,362 --> 00:58:53,848
To jsem si hned pomyslel,
�e to je kamar�dka na hovno.
984
00:58:53,890 --> 00:58:54,899
To nen� dobr� kamar�dka.
985
00:58:54,934 --> 00:58:57,102
To nen� spr�vn�
p��stup k �ivotu.
986
00:58:57,144 --> 00:58:58,903
"Jsem ��asn�!
987
00:58:58,938 --> 00:59:02,523
"A ti, co mi neodepisuj�,
se prost� neum� vyrovnat
988
00:59:02,565 --> 00:59:04,360
s t�m, jak jsem u�asn�!"
989
00:59:04,401 --> 00:59:06,869
Chci ��ct, je to studentka...
990
00:59:06,904 --> 00:59:11,658
Nen� to Nelson Mandela,
je na vysok� �kole.
991
00:59:11,699 --> 00:59:13,534
J� v���m, �e je fajn,
992
00:59:13,576 --> 00:59:17,538
ale nen� to a� na "Jsi ��asn�.
To jak... chod� na hodiny".
993
00:59:17,580 --> 00:59:19,941
Co je na tom tak ��asn�ho?
994
00:59:19,983 --> 00:59:23,503
Ona je celkem nudn�, on je celkem
h�up, v�echno je v pohod�.
995
00:59:23,544 --> 00:59:27,548
Jsou v pohod�. Mus�te to o sob�
zjistit, kdy� jste tak trochu nudn�.
996
00:59:27,590 --> 00:59:28,633
To je d�le�it�.
997
00:59:28,675 --> 00:59:29,842
Sebel�ska je dobr� v�c,
998
00:59:29,884 --> 00:59:32,137
ale sebereflexe je d�le�it�j��.
999
00:59:32,179 --> 00:59:35,598
Jednou za �as si mus�te ��ct A
j�je, nejsem j� hovado?
1000
00:59:35,640 --> 00:59:39,602
�as od �asu na v�s ta my�lenka p�ijde,
leda, �e byste byli psychopati.
1001
00:59:39,603 --> 00:59:44,445
Jako kdy� �eknete n�komu z kamar�d� "Chov�
se jako hovado" a oni odpov� " Nechov�m."
1002
00:59:44,539 --> 00:59:45,792
No, to nen� na tob�,
1003
00:59:45,834 --> 00:59:47,694
jestli jsi hovado nebo ne.
1004
00:59:47,735 --> 00:59:49,737
To z�le�� na ostatn�ch.
1005
00:59:50,655 --> 00:59:51,907
Nem��ete na to ��ct ne.
1006
00:59:53,242 --> 00:59:55,827
"Ty jsi hovado."
"Nejsem."
1007
00:59:55,868 --> 00:59:59,130
"J�, promi�, j� myslel...No
dob�e, �e jsem si to ov��il.
1008
00:59:59,171 --> 01:00:00,174
Asi nejse�"
1009
01:00:00,216 --> 01:00:02,284
Kdy� v�m n�kdo �ekne,
�e jste hovado,
1010
01:00:02,326 --> 01:00:04,544
m�li byste v duchu
zareagovat "A sakra.
1011
01:00:04,586 --> 01:00:06,906
Co se to stalo, jak
jsem se sem dostal?"
1012
01:00:07,923 --> 01:00:09,166
Jakoby v�m n�kdo �ekl
1013
01:00:09,208 --> 01:00:11,093
" M� n�co na obli�eji"
- "Nem�m."
1014
01:00:13,012 --> 01:00:14,012
Je to jako s Amerikou
1015
01:00:14,013 --> 01:00:18,308
Amerika je podle m� ta
nejhor�� p��telkyn� na sv�t�.
1016
01:00:18,350 --> 01:00:21,602
Amerika je pro zbytek sv�ta
jako p��ern� p��telkyn�
1017
01:00:21,644 --> 01:00:23,229
proto�e kdy� n�kdo ubl�� j�,
1018
01:00:23,230 --> 01:00:26,816
zapamatuje si to napo��d,
1019
01:00:26,858 --> 01:00:30,570
ale kdy� n�co provede ona, vyk�ikuje "Co�e?
1020
01:00:30,611 --> 01:00:32,156
J� jsem nic neud�lala."
1021
01:00:32,197 --> 01:00:34,908
Ameriko, pro� po��d
bombarduje� ty lidi v Jemenu
1022
01:00:34,950 --> 01:00:38,454
a v�echny ty..." "Proto�e
jeden�ct� z���, jasn�?
1023
01:00:38,495 --> 01:00:43,667
Jeden�ct� z���, tak
ml�te, hovada!"
1024
01:00:43,709 --> 01:00:47,962
No jo, ale zabila jsi statis�ce lid�,
tak�e asi m��e�..."-"Jo, j� v�m, ale
1025
01:00:47,963 --> 01:00:49,797
jeden�ct� z���! Jdi do hajzlu!
1026
01:00:49,839 --> 01:00:53,217
Ty tomu v�bec nerozum�."
- "No jo, ale mu�� lidi."
1027
01:00:53,218 --> 01:00:57,555
"To nebylo ��dn�
mu�en�, pane Bo�e.
1028
01:00:58,806 --> 01:01:00,558
On je takov� sle�inka.
1029
01:01:00,600 --> 01:01:03,244
V�dy� jsem mu nic neud�lala."
1030
01:01:05,731 --> 01:01:08,576
A j� tohle ��k�m o �ensk�ch,
proto�e jsem chlap.
1031
01:01:08,618 --> 01:01:13,321
�ensk� by mohly takhle mluvit o tom, jac�
jsou chlapi. To v�te, tak to prost� je.
1032
01:01:13,363 --> 01:01:16,349
Mysl�m, �e mezi rasismem a
sexismem je velk� rozd�l.
1033
01:01:16,391 --> 01:01:18,518
Podle m� je rasismus
prost� omyl.
1034
01:01:18,560 --> 01:01:19,811
Je to chyba.
1035
01:01:19,853 --> 01:01:21,480
Ned�v� to ��dn� smysl,
1036
01:01:21,521 --> 01:01:26,025
s t�m m��eme lehce skoncovat, ale
sexismu se jen tak nezbav�me.
1037
01:01:26,066 --> 01:01:30,139
Sexismus m�me mnohem
hloub�ji zako�en�n� v mysli,
1038
01:01:30,680 --> 01:01:33,741
a tak ovliv�uje, co k
sob� navz�jem c�t�me.
1039
01:01:33,782 --> 01:01:35,326
��k�me " No jo, �ensk�!
1040
01:01:35,368 --> 01:01:38,445
�ensk�! �ensk�!
1041
01:01:38,487 --> 01:01:39,956
�ensk�!
1042
01:01:40,998 --> 01:01:42,667
�ensk�! �ensk�!"
1043
01:01:45,962 --> 01:01:46,962
A vy zase "Chlapi!
1044
01:01:46,963 --> 01:01:49,591
Chlapi, chlapi! Chlapi!
1045
01:01:49,633 --> 01:01:52,092
Chlapi!
1046
01:01:52,134 --> 01:01:54,596
Chlapi! Chlapi!
1047
01:01:54,638 --> 01:01:55,848
Chlapi!
1048
01:02:01,421 --> 01:02:05,673
No nic, tak�e jsem se d�val na
"Carod�je ze Zem� Oz" se sv�mi dcerami.
1049
01:02:05,714 --> 01:02:07,733
Sta�ilo to u� na spraven� chuti?
1050
01:02:07,775 --> 01:02:08,984
Tak dob�e.
1051
01:02:10,362 --> 01:02:12,948
Kouk�m na "�arod�je ze Zem�
Oz", jestli jste to nevid�li
1052
01:02:12,989 --> 01:02:15,951
je to o hol�i�ce jm�nem Dorothy,
1053
01:02:15,992 --> 01:02:20,956
moc roztomil� hol�i�ce, kterou
hraje jedna star�� alkoholi�ka,
1054
01:02:20,997 --> 01:02:23,290
kter�...
1055
01:02:23,750 --> 01:02:26,711
�ije v Kansasu, m� psa,
a po��d se roz�iluje.
1056
01:02:26,753 --> 01:02:29,631
Po��d vyk�ikuje "M�j pes!"
1057
01:02:29,673 --> 01:02:32,926
A ka�d� j� na to �ekne " Tady
jsme na farm�. M�me pr�ci.
1058
01:02:32,968 --> 01:02:34,267
Nech n�s."
1059
01:02:34,302 --> 01:02:36,721
Pak p�ijde torn�do a
v�ichni b�� dovnit� a
1060
01:02:36,863 --> 01:02:39,440
na n� si sotva vzpomenou.
Je to neuv��iteln�.
1061
01:02:39,482 --> 01:02:42,960
Stra�n� m� to roz�ilovalo, kdy� jsem
se na to d�val jako d�t�,
1062
01:02:43,102 --> 01:02:47,189
proto�e teta Ema jenom zavol� " Dorothy! No
nic, seru na n�." a jde dovnit�.
1063
01:02:47,231 --> 01:02:48,817
Pr�skne dve�mi. Neuv��iteln�.
1064
01:02:51,253 --> 01:02:54,781
A tak se Dorothy dostane do Zem� Oz.
A kdy� jsem se na to d�val
1065
01:02:54,823 --> 01:02:57,826
narazil jsem na jedno m�sto,
kter� m� ohromilo.
1066
01:02:57,867 --> 01:03:00,537
To kdy� Ray Bolger,
kter� hraje Stra��ka,
1067
01:03:00,579 --> 01:03:02,831
jeho� pr�v� rotrhaly
l�taj�c� opice
1068
01:03:02,872 --> 01:03:05,500
a je na�tvan� a
pod�v� to zp�sobem,
1069
01:03:05,542 --> 01:03:07,577
kter� je p�ehnan�, i na
tenhle film.
1070
01:03:07,619 --> 01:03:10,279
Vzpom�n�te si na to m�sto?
P�ijde za n�m Plech��-
1071
01:03:10,421 --> 01:03:11,673
"Co se stalo?" a on ��k�
1072
01:03:11,708 --> 01:03:13,425
"N�,NAP�ED MI URVAUI RUCE,
1073
01:03:13,466 --> 01:03:15,677
A HODIUI JE T�MHUE!
1074
01:03:16,970 --> 01:03:21,474
A P�K MI URVAUI NOHY
A HODIUI JE T�MHUE!"
1075
01:03:24,311 --> 01:03:26,771
Vid�l jsem ten film tis�ckr�t,
1076
01:03:26,813 --> 01:03:29,148
ale z n�jak�ho d�vodu
jsem si tentokr�t
1077
01:03:29,189 --> 01:03:32,151
u tohohle m�sta
�ekl "No sakra...
1078
01:03:34,111 --> 01:03:35,111
To u� je moc."
1079
01:03:37,032 --> 01:03:39,784
A napadlo m�, jestli si Victor Fleming,
re�is�r �arod�je ze Zem� Oz,
1080
01:03:39,826 --> 01:03:43,162
n�kdy b�hem nat��en� ne�ekl,
1081
01:03:43,203 --> 01:03:46,374
"Asi si s t�m Rayem
budu muset promluvit,
1082
01:03:46,416 --> 01:03:50,210
u� to za��n� p�eh�n�t."
1083
01:03:51,338 --> 01:03:52,338
No dob�e, tak a�
1084
01:03:52,339 --> 01:03:53,798
to zkus� je�t� jednou.
1085
01:03:53,840 --> 01:03:55,342
"Tak jo, akce!"
1086
01:03:55,383 --> 01:03:56,760
"Co se stalo?"
1087
01:03:56,801 --> 01:03:58,887
"N�,NAP�ED MI URVAUI RUCE,
1088
01:03:58,928 --> 01:04:01,931
A HODIUI JE T�MHUE!
1089
01:04:01,973 --> 01:04:04,476
A PAK MI UTUHUI NOHY
1090
01:04:04,517 --> 01:04:06,978
A HODIUI JE T�MHUE!"
1091
01:04:09,271 --> 01:04:10,271
"Dobr�, stop!"
1092
01:04:14,193 --> 01:04:15,193
P�ijde k n�mu.
1093
01:04:15,904 --> 01:04:17,572
Ehm...
1094
01:04:17,614 --> 01:04:20,949
No, posly�, Rayi...
1095
01:04:20,950 --> 01:04:22,727
N��?
1096
01:04:27,582 --> 01:04:29,000
Ehm, vlastn� nic.
1097
01:04:31,346 --> 01:04:34,046
Byli jste skv�l� publikum,
d�ky, �e jste p�i�li.
1098
01:04:34,047 --> 01:04:35,507
Snad se v�m to l�bilo.
1099
01:04:35,548 --> 01:04:37,884
Moc v�m d�kuji!
1100
01:04:38,635 --> 01:04:41,846
D�ky!
1101
01:04:43,667 --> 01:04:44,800
Titulky: honzig78
92025
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