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1
00:00:01,202 --> 00:00:02,671
Pick up... chicken breasts.
2
00:00:02,772 --> 00:00:05,808
The way I know you want it,
with the bone in.
3
00:00:07,327 --> 00:00:08,727
We really should
hold a seminar
4
00:00:08,729 --> 00:00:10,712
about sexual harassment
in the workplace.
5
00:00:10,714 --> 00:00:12,932
Why? He's already
so good at it.
6
00:00:12,934 --> 00:00:14,149
I'm serious.
How'd he like it
7
00:00:14,151 --> 00:00:15,901
if we did that to him
every time we ordered?
8
00:00:15,903 --> 00:00:17,552
Well,
let's find out.
9
00:00:17,554 --> 00:00:18,821
Ordering.
10
00:00:18,823 --> 00:00:20,722
One pastrami.
11
00:00:20,724 --> 00:00:22,274
Can you do me a favor,
doll-face?
12
00:00:22,276 --> 00:00:24,893
Make it so big and thick, you
can't get your mouth around it.
13
00:00:24,895 --> 00:00:27,112
Can you do that
for me?
14
00:00:27,114 --> 00:00:29,832
Yes,
and two matzo ball soups,
15
00:00:29,834 --> 00:00:31,000
hold the balls.
16
00:00:31,002 --> 00:00:32,751
Wait,
I'll hold the balls,
17
00:00:32,753 --> 00:00:34,787
you just sit there
and look pretty.
18
00:00:34,789 --> 00:00:38,257
And a cream of...
19
00:00:38,259 --> 00:00:41,343
nope, can't.
Just grossed myself out.
20
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:44,113
When is it
going to get dirty?
21
00:00:59,544 --> 00:01:00,894
Max, come out.
22
00:01:00,896 --> 00:01:02,813
If I came out,
it would not be for you,
23
00:01:02,815 --> 00:01:05,649
it's be for that
hot dragon tattoo girl.
24
00:01:05,651 --> 00:01:08,201
Welcome, board members,
to the very first
25
00:01:08,203 --> 00:01:11,071
financial assessment meeting
of Max's homemade cupcakes.
26
00:01:11,073 --> 00:01:14,107
I was told
there would be a cheese plate.
27
00:01:14,109 --> 00:01:15,625
After five months
in business,
28
00:01:15,627 --> 00:01:18,378
we're showing a profit
of $725.
29
00:01:18,380 --> 00:01:20,280
I have to say,
I'm a little disappointed.
30
00:01:20,282 --> 00:01:22,833
Really? 'Cause, dude,
we have so far exceeded
31
00:01:22,835 --> 00:01:24,634
where I thought we'd be
in five months.
32
00:01:24,636 --> 00:01:26,786
Look, we have to find a way
to make more money on the side
33
00:01:26,788 --> 00:01:28,088
to put into the business.
34
00:01:28,090 --> 00:01:30,257
Or we could quit now,
while we're a success.
35
00:01:30,259 --> 00:01:31,624
What are you
talking about?
36
00:01:31,626 --> 00:01:33,093
It's only
gonna get worse.
37
00:01:33,095 --> 00:01:36,063
Or it could get better.
Why would you even say that?
38
00:01:36,065 --> 00:01:38,765
Because it's life, and life
gets worse, that's what it does.
39
00:01:38,767 --> 00:01:41,351
On life's resume,
under special skills it says,
40
00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:43,437
"good at
making things worse."
41
00:01:43,439 --> 00:01:45,605
- Do you always go to
the worst-case scenario?
44
00:01:49,828 --> 00:01:51,945
Do you think you could try
to be more optimistic,
45
00:01:51,947 --> 00:01:53,613
and not expect the worst
all the time?
46
00:01:54,750 --> 00:01:57,117
Who's that?
More optimistic, right?
47
00:01:57,119 --> 00:02:00,587
On the other side of that door
is all the money you lost,
48
00:02:00,589 --> 00:02:02,322
and then we move back
into your townhouse,
49
00:02:02,324 --> 00:02:05,509
and I masturbate in your tub
for a change.
50
00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:13,050
It was twice,
and you could have knocked.
51
00:02:15,053 --> 00:02:16,286
Who is it?
52
00:02:16,288 --> 00:02:18,171
Detective James, NYPD.
53
00:02:18,173 --> 00:02:19,973
Wait, don't open it!
Don't open it!
54
00:02:19,975 --> 00:02:22,642
Oh, smoked it tuesday.
Open.
55
00:02:23,828 --> 00:02:26,063
Sorry to bother you, miss.
Do you live in this apartment?
56
00:02:26,065 --> 00:02:27,564
I'm gonna tell you right now,
officer,
57
00:02:27,566 --> 00:02:28,865
our names
aren't on the lease.
58
00:02:28,867 --> 00:02:30,233
We're an illegal sublet
with no place else to go.
59
00:02:30,235 --> 00:02:32,285
Please, mercy.
60
00:02:32,287 --> 00:02:35,855
Sorry, officer,
it's her first raid.
61
00:02:35,857 --> 00:02:37,874
Relax, the landlord
didn't send me.
62
00:02:37,876 --> 00:02:39,292
What do you know about
63
00:02:39,294 --> 00:02:41,027
the tenant who lives in the
apartment directly above you?
64
00:02:41,029 --> 00:02:42,379
His name is Lou.
65
00:02:42,381 --> 00:02:43,663
Leo?
66
00:02:43,665 --> 00:02:44,831
Saul?
67
00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:46,083
Am I even close?
68
00:02:46,085 --> 00:02:47,884
His name's
Nirham Chaduri.
69
00:02:47,886 --> 00:02:50,387
Oh, man, I wasn't even
on the right continent.
70
00:02:53,207 --> 00:02:55,225
Is that Nirham Chaduri?
71
00:02:55,227 --> 00:02:59,012
Been dead for two weeks.
Lived alone, nobody knew.
72
00:02:59,014 --> 00:03:00,263
Cats eat his face?
73
00:03:00,265 --> 00:03:02,933
Max, could you please
not be so dark?
74
00:03:02,935 --> 00:03:04,351
Kittens eat his face?
75
00:03:05,603 --> 00:03:09,656
What? I'm just trying to put
a more positive spin on things.
76
00:03:17,064 --> 00:03:18,564
Where are you going
with that?
77
00:03:18,566 --> 00:03:20,817
That's my good China
with huckleberry hound on it.
78
00:03:20,819 --> 00:03:22,601
I'm making
a "hello" cupcake plate
79
00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:23,870
for our neighbors
across the hall.
80
00:03:23,872 --> 00:03:25,121
Oh, no, you're not.
81
00:03:25,123 --> 00:03:27,156
It's weird
not to know your neighbors.
82
00:03:27,158 --> 00:03:28,541
No, it's weird
not to know your father,
83
00:03:28,543 --> 00:03:32,295
but by the time you're four,
you get over it and move on.
84
00:03:32,297 --> 00:03:33,963
This is a mistake.
85
00:03:33,965 --> 00:03:35,715
Who knows what's lurking
behind that door?
86
00:03:35,717 --> 00:03:37,917
Yes, something awful,
like nice people,
87
00:03:37,919 --> 00:03:39,785
who might look out for us,
or say, "hello," in the hallway
88
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:40,786
when they see you.
89
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,171
No matter what
comes out of there,
90
00:03:42,173 --> 00:03:44,957
I will not be "hello-ing" it up
in the hallway.
91
00:03:50,264 --> 00:03:51,764
You got lucky.
Get back in here.
92
00:03:51,766 --> 00:03:53,349
Who is it, please?
93
00:03:53,351 --> 00:03:56,736
- Caroline,
your next-door neighbor.
94
00:03:59,139 --> 00:04:00,273
Hi.
95
00:04:00,275 --> 00:04:01,641
Uh, is this a bad time?
96
00:04:01,643 --> 00:04:02,942
Not at all.
97
00:04:02,944 --> 00:04:05,477
One sec.
Hi.
98
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,080
I just wanted to introduce
myself and my roommate, Max.
99
00:04:08,082 --> 00:04:10,616
There, and give you
these cupcakes.
100
00:04:10,618 --> 00:04:12,585
That is so nice.
101
00:04:12,587 --> 00:04:15,821
Well, it's the leash...
least... least I can do.
102
00:04:17,157 --> 00:04:19,258
Well, I gotta go.
103
00:04:24,497 --> 00:04:28,217
Well, if we ever get a dog,
we know who can walk it.
104
00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,340
- Listen.
- I know.
105
00:04:34,342 --> 00:04:35,507
It's only been
a few days,
106
00:04:35,509 --> 00:04:37,143
and somebody's already moved in
upstairs.
107
00:04:37,145 --> 00:04:39,395
And they are
playing music!
108
00:04:39,397 --> 00:04:43,950
Music is coming
through the floor into my ears.
109
00:04:43,952 --> 00:04:45,067
I blame you for this.
110
00:04:45,069 --> 00:04:46,518
When you knocked on that door
across the hall,
111
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,537
you might have
opened a portal to hell.
112
00:04:48,539 --> 00:04:50,856
There, you hear
the devil music?
113
00:04:50,858 --> 00:04:52,325
I think
it's the bee gees.
114
00:04:52,327 --> 00:04:53,859
Exactly.
115
00:04:55,163 --> 00:04:56,579
And walking!
116
00:04:56,581 --> 00:04:59,548
Walking and music,
we have to stop this right now.
117
00:04:59,550 --> 00:05:03,302
It's 10:00, people are allowed
to walk and play music.
118
00:05:03,304 --> 00:05:04,837
Your lack
of apartment knowledge
119
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,839
is really starting
to piss me off.
120
00:05:06,841 --> 00:05:09,342
We have to show him right now
not to screw us.
121
00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:10,593
I need paper.
122
00:05:10,595 --> 00:05:13,045
- What are you doing?
I mean, besides over-reacting?
123
00:05:13,047 --> 00:05:14,513
Writing
a threatening note.
124
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:16,315
If we don't shut this down now,
next thing you know,
125
00:05:16,317 --> 00:05:18,050
someone's having
an academy awards party
126
00:05:18,052 --> 00:05:19,068
in your living room.
127
00:05:19,070 --> 00:05:20,403
Is that what you want?
128
00:05:20,405 --> 00:05:23,322
Strangers passing out
mini Oscar statues
129
00:05:23,324 --> 00:05:26,892
that say, "best nachos?"
130
00:05:29,413 --> 00:05:31,364
"I have
an unregistered gun
131
00:05:31,366 --> 00:05:34,333
and can shoot you
through the floor"?
132
00:05:34,335 --> 00:05:35,785
You're coming in
really hot, Max.
133
00:05:35,787 --> 00:05:37,069
We're not giving him this.
134
00:05:37,071 --> 00:05:39,071
It'll start a bad dynamic
between us.
135
00:05:39,073 --> 00:05:43,075
God, how I miss
the quiet, dead indian guy.
136
00:05:43,077 --> 00:05:45,744
Okay, we're gonna
hit and run.
137
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:51,083
Oh, you mean
"run," literally.
138
00:05:56,940 --> 00:05:58,941
Shh, listen.
139
00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:02,094
Reading the note,
140
00:06:02,096 --> 00:06:04,146
freaking out...
141
00:06:05,366 --> 00:06:08,100
Music off,
problem solved.
142
00:06:08,102 --> 00:06:12,455
Respect!
Never doubt, never doubt.
143
00:06:13,774 --> 00:06:15,708
Crossing the floor
to the door,
144
00:06:17,111 --> 00:06:18,911
Closing the door,
145
00:06:18,913 --> 00:06:23,049
Coming down the stairs,
146
00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:26,218
What do we do?
147
00:06:26,220 --> 00:06:27,169
Move?
148
00:06:34,141 --> 00:06:35,190
What's he look like?
149
00:06:35,192 --> 00:06:36,658
He's got his finger
over the peephole.
150
00:06:36,660 --> 00:06:39,294
Okay, game on. Back up!
151
00:06:39,296 --> 00:06:41,280
This is my building,
I've got to take it back.
152
00:06:41,282 --> 00:06:44,283
- Max, this is life, not
call of duty: Modern warfare 3.
153
00:06:44,285 --> 00:06:46,452
Move.
154
00:06:50,623 --> 00:06:55,094
What is meaning
of this horrible, horrible note?
155
00:06:55,096 --> 00:06:58,997
Oh, you're not a man?
156
00:06:58,999 --> 00:07:01,433
What kind of question
is this?
157
00:07:01,435 --> 00:07:03,168
Do I look like a man?
158
00:07:03,170 --> 00:07:05,387
No, but you clump around
up there like a man.
159
00:07:05,389 --> 00:07:06,555
Max, please.
160
00:07:06,557 --> 00:07:09,358
Did you write
this horrible, horrible note?
161
00:07:09,360 --> 00:07:11,510
I did.
162
00:07:11,512 --> 00:07:13,812
First day
in my new home
163
00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:18,233
and I'm given this horrible,
horrible note, with threats.
164
00:07:18,235 --> 00:07:20,569
Well, they're not
actually threats.
165
00:07:20,571 --> 00:07:23,956
"I will gut you
like a hog."
166
00:07:23,958 --> 00:07:26,408
To be clear,
I only skimmed the note.
167
00:07:26,410 --> 00:07:28,693
Everything was happening
so fast.
168
00:07:28,695 --> 00:07:31,163
Listen, we've obviously
gotten off to a bad start.
169
00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,514
Please come in.
170
00:07:32,516 --> 00:07:35,534
Why would I want to come in
with you horrible, horrible...
171
00:07:35,536 --> 00:07:39,371
ooh, cupcake land.
Ooh.
172
00:07:39,373 --> 00:07:41,390
Yes, we have
a cupcake business.
173
00:07:41,392 --> 00:07:42,841
We're just starting,
but doing well.
174
00:07:42,843 --> 00:07:44,843
Max is the baker.
Say hello, Max.
175
00:07:44,845 --> 00:07:46,762
I know people
in the mob.
176
00:07:46,764 --> 00:07:49,214
That's Max, and I'm Caroline.
You are?
177
00:07:49,216 --> 00:07:51,233
Sophie Kuchenski.
178
00:07:51,235 --> 00:07:53,685
Is that a polish accent
I'm detecting?
179
00:07:53,687 --> 00:07:54,686
Yes.
180
00:07:54,688 --> 00:07:56,572
I visited Warsaw once,
I love it.
181
00:07:56,574 --> 00:08:00,025
Oh, 'cause I hate it.
Rats and pimps.
182
00:08:00,027 --> 00:08:03,095
Why have you
not yet offered me cupcake?
183
00:08:03,097 --> 00:08:06,448
It's the least thing you can do,
after horrible, horrible note.
184
00:08:06,450 --> 00:08:08,117
Oh, sure.
Chocolate or vanilla?
185
00:08:08,119 --> 00:08:10,586
Yes.
186
00:08:13,289 --> 00:08:16,425
Why such sourpuss?
187
00:08:16,427 --> 00:08:18,460
Sorry about that.
It's just, we work long hours
188
00:08:18,462 --> 00:08:21,346
at the neighborhood diner,
and Max has another job as well,
189
00:08:21,348 --> 00:08:23,582
and then she comes home and
she has to make the cupcakes.
190
00:08:23,584 --> 00:08:27,085
Mmm.
So good.
191
00:08:27,087 --> 00:08:28,353
Mmm.
192
00:08:28,355 --> 00:08:31,089
How could someone so angry
make something so sweet?
193
00:08:31,091 --> 00:08:32,474
She's not always
like this.
194
00:08:32,476 --> 00:08:36,061
I'm usually like this,
just ask the previous tenant.
195
00:08:36,063 --> 00:08:40,098
Oh, wait.
You can't.
196
00:08:40,100 --> 00:08:43,435
You know, you two girls
are like these cupcakes.
197
00:08:43,437 --> 00:08:47,656
One is dark and heavy
and one is light and fluffy.
198
00:08:47,658 --> 00:08:50,209
I prefer the fluffy one.
199
00:08:50,211 --> 00:08:52,461
Well, I think we've
made our point.
200
00:08:52,463 --> 00:08:54,630
No music, no clumping,
I'll shoot you
201
00:08:54,632 --> 00:08:56,748
through the floor,
thanks for stopping by.
202
00:08:58,052 --> 00:09:00,836
I'm so glad we can
joke with each other already.
203
00:09:00,838 --> 00:09:03,472
Sorry about the note,
can we start ov...
204
00:09:03,474 --> 00:09:05,457
you have
the chanel allure lip gloss?
205
00:09:05,459 --> 00:09:06,758
Yeah.
206
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:09,845
Mm, you know the chanel?
207
00:09:09,847 --> 00:09:13,315
Know? Love.
I can't afford it any more.
208
00:09:13,317 --> 00:09:16,852
Oh, take one.
I got handfuls in my bag.
209
00:09:16,854 --> 00:09:18,654
Really?
210
00:09:18,656 --> 00:09:21,306
Oh, that's so nice.
211
00:09:21,308 --> 00:09:24,910
Both: Ahh.
212
00:09:24,912 --> 00:09:25,911
Hey.
213
00:09:25,913 --> 00:09:28,080
Hey! Hey!
214
00:09:28,082 --> 00:09:30,148
Do I have to put you
on a leash?
215
00:09:30,150 --> 00:09:32,334
Hey, we start again.
216
00:09:32,336 --> 00:09:36,988
You take a chanel,
and I take more cupcakes to go.
217
00:09:36,990 --> 00:09:39,424
Oh, sure.
218
00:09:48,434 --> 00:09:50,269
Yes.
219
00:09:59,230 --> 00:10:02,631
I knew it.
Bitch played us for cupcakes.
220
00:10:02,633 --> 00:10:04,900
It's 3:00 A.M.
Why are you dressed?
221
00:10:04,902 --> 00:10:07,703
Never took off my clothes,
'cause soldiers don't.
222
00:10:07,705 --> 00:10:09,871
We have to be ready
when the enemy attacks.
223
00:10:09,873 --> 00:10:12,857
Okay, you were right,
I was wrong.
224
00:10:12,859 --> 00:10:14,359
Why do you have the broom?
225
00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:16,128
'Cause I ran out
of finger bullets.
226
00:10:16,130 --> 00:10:18,247
Wait, you're gonna fall.
227
00:10:18,249 --> 00:10:19,548
I can't believe
we have a broom.
228
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:21,883
All this time I've been sweeping
with an us weekly.
229
00:10:21,885 --> 00:10:24,836
I knew this would happen,
but I didn't say anything,
230
00:10:24,838 --> 00:10:27,055
'cause you were all, "Max is
the worst-case scenario."
231
00:10:27,057 --> 00:10:28,974
Well, we showed weakness
and now, look.
232
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,510
And by "we,"
I mean "you."
233
00:10:31,512 --> 00:10:35,046
Deal with this,
cupcake thief!
234
00:10:35,048 --> 00:10:37,816
Yeah, one more time,
and hard.
235
00:10:39,819 --> 00:10:43,605
Okay, now she broke our house.
We're in a war.
236
00:10:43,607 --> 00:10:45,857
She wants a piece of me,
she's gonna get it.
237
00:10:45,859 --> 00:10:50,996
Where are my heels?
238
00:10:50,998 --> 00:10:52,247
I mean,
who did she think I am?
239
00:10:52,249 --> 00:10:55,033
Someone she can just buy off
with a tube of chanel?
240
00:10:55,035 --> 00:10:56,368
Well, your legs
did kind of snap back
241
00:10:56,370 --> 00:10:58,837
over your head pretty quick
when she offered it.
242
00:11:10,434 --> 00:11:13,969
I thought you were
man with pizza.
243
00:11:19,643 --> 00:11:24,396
You have a porch swing
in there.
244
00:11:24,398 --> 00:11:27,816
You have
an electric cigarette.
245
00:11:27,818 --> 00:11:30,435
What is it
you two girls want?
246
00:11:30,437 --> 00:11:33,905
Uh, I forgot.
247
00:11:33,907 --> 00:11:37,909
Just so thrown by the swing
and the everything.
248
00:11:37,911 --> 00:11:40,162
Oh, you're taking advantage
of us
249
00:11:40,164 --> 00:11:42,280
by still playing that music
after we talked.
250
00:11:42,282 --> 00:11:47,169
You two are harshing
my marshmallow.
251
00:11:47,171 --> 00:11:49,888
So I'm gonna have to call
my friend the landlord tomorrow
252
00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:52,290
and tell him about
the horrible, horrible note.
253
00:11:52,292 --> 00:11:53,958
Mmm.
254
00:11:57,014 --> 00:12:00,399
Oh, my God,
she's a hooker.
255
00:12:00,401 --> 00:12:03,819
I've been using
a hooker's lip gloss.
256
00:12:03,821 --> 00:12:04,969
She's not a hooker.
257
00:12:04,971 --> 00:12:06,021
Oh, good.
258
00:12:06,023 --> 00:12:08,824
She's too old,
she's a madame.
259
00:12:08,826 --> 00:12:11,476
You've been using
an old hooker's lip gloss.
260
00:12:17,065 --> 00:12:18,615
Max, look, my lip.
261
00:12:18,617 --> 00:12:20,850
Is this something?
I feel like I'm getting one.
262
00:12:20,852 --> 00:12:23,453
For the last time,
you cannot get a herpes breakout
263
00:12:23,455 --> 00:12:25,021
in under ten hours.
264
00:12:25,023 --> 00:12:27,958
- You're right, now I'm jumping
to the worst-case scenario.
265
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:30,294
Maybe her lip gloss
wasn't a herpes breeding ground.
266
00:12:30,296 --> 00:12:32,696
Maybe she's not a prostitute.
Maybe those young girls
267
00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:35,132
weren't being held there
against their will.
268
00:12:35,134 --> 00:12:37,384
Yeah, maybe she just
has sleepovers
269
00:12:37,386 --> 00:12:39,419
with women on swings
in the their nighties.
270
00:12:39,421 --> 00:12:42,889
You know,
like people do.
271
00:12:44,375 --> 00:12:46,593
Welcome
to Williamsburg diner.
272
00:12:46,595 --> 00:12:48,228
How many in your party?
273
00:12:48,230 --> 00:12:50,046
What kind of question
is this?
274
00:12:50,048 --> 00:12:53,266
One,
I am my own party.
275
00:12:53,268 --> 00:12:54,901
I take booth.
276
00:12:54,903 --> 00:12:59,523
Now, now, who is that
over there?
277
00:12:59,525 --> 00:13:01,158
Our new
upstairs neighbor.
278
00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,276
Earl, does she look
like a prostitute to you?
279
00:13:03,278 --> 00:13:06,363
Well, I don't like to
judge a book by its cover,
280
00:13:06,365 --> 00:13:08,031
but if she was a book,
281
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:11,318
she'd be the kind
that other books pay for sex.
282
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:16,340
Sophie just came in,
Earl thinks she's a hooker,
283
00:13:16,342 --> 00:13:19,843
and now my lip is feeling
very courtney love.
284
00:13:19,845 --> 00:13:21,712
I invited her here
for a free meal,
285
00:13:21,714 --> 00:13:23,296
we have to make this work out
for us.
286
00:13:23,298 --> 00:13:26,016
Last night, she threatened to
call her "friend," the landlord,
287
00:13:26,018 --> 00:13:27,250
and that can
never happen.
288
00:13:27,252 --> 00:13:28,602
We're illegal tenants,
289
00:13:28,604 --> 00:13:31,087
and I'd rather have a noisy roof
over my head than no roof.
290
00:13:32,808 --> 00:13:34,224
Let me do the talking.
291
00:13:34,226 --> 00:13:35,942
You're too upset, and you might
say something insulting.
292
00:13:35,944 --> 00:13:38,028
Like what?
"Hi, thanks for the lip gloss
293
00:13:38,030 --> 00:13:39,780
"and the series of
uncomfortable conversations
294
00:13:39,782 --> 00:13:42,115
with every lover I'll have
for the rest of my life."
295
00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:43,200
You don't need
to tell them,
296
00:13:43,202 --> 00:13:46,403
they'll figure it out
eventually.
297
00:13:46,405 --> 00:13:48,605
Hi, thanks for coming in.
298
00:13:48,607 --> 00:13:51,491
I like the uniforms.
299
00:13:51,493 --> 00:13:53,610
You fill out
the front nicely,
300
00:13:53,612 --> 00:13:56,713
and you with no boobs,
short-short skirts.
301
00:13:56,715 --> 00:13:59,132
Smart girls.
302
00:13:59,134 --> 00:14:01,501
Uh, we just wanted to
offer you a free dinner,
303
00:14:01,503 --> 00:14:02,886
as our way of
apologizing.
304
00:14:02,888 --> 00:14:04,304
So are you ready
to order?
305
00:14:04,306 --> 00:14:06,757
What kind of question
is this?
306
00:14:06,759 --> 00:14:11,261
Did you see
this horrible, horrible menu?
307
00:14:11,263 --> 00:14:14,064
We can't have
nice conversation here.
308
00:14:14,066 --> 00:14:17,467
Tomorrow I take you
to nice place, my treat.
309
00:14:17,469 --> 00:14:19,186
Oh, you don't have
to do that.
310
00:14:19,188 --> 00:14:22,072
No, no, I, too,
want to apologize.
311
00:14:22,074 --> 00:14:24,157
You know, after you two left
the other night,
312
00:14:24,159 --> 00:14:28,478
some of my girls said
that I was harsh on you.
313
00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,448
Yes, all those girls
work for me.
314
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:33,200
Excuse me, I have to go
to the ladies' room right now
315
00:14:33,202 --> 00:14:36,486
and look at my lips.
316
00:14:38,322 --> 00:14:40,874
Thank you so much
for inviting us.
317
00:14:40,876 --> 00:14:42,542
Are you enjoying
that beluga?
318
00:14:42,544 --> 00:14:46,162
Mmm, so much. Thank you.
319
00:14:46,164 --> 00:14:49,332
I haven't had caviar
in forever. Mmm.
320
00:14:49,334 --> 00:14:52,836
Legs over your head much?
321
00:14:52,838 --> 00:14:56,673
So, sourpuss,
you don't like caviar?
322
00:14:56,675 --> 00:14:59,008
No, I'm more of
a cheeseburger kind of girl.
323
00:14:59,010 --> 00:15:00,444
- Oh.
- This place is busy.
324
00:15:00,446 --> 00:15:02,178
The waiters must
make a fortune.
325
00:15:02,180 --> 00:15:04,981
Oh, yeah,
300, 350 a night.
326
00:15:04,983 --> 00:15:06,783
What do you girls make?
327
00:15:06,785 --> 00:15:09,202
60 to 80
on a good night.
328
00:15:09,204 --> 00:15:11,621
And how do you expect you will
accomplish cupcake business
329
00:15:11,623 --> 00:15:13,123
on money like this?
330
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,825
Well,
we're just starting out.
331
00:15:14,827 --> 00:15:18,211
Yes, but at this rate,
it will take forever.
332
00:15:18,213 --> 00:15:21,030
You know, I, too,
have big dream.
333
00:15:21,032 --> 00:15:24,868
I am building summer house
by lake in Poland.
334
00:15:24,870 --> 00:15:26,303
You want to see?
335
00:15:26,305 --> 00:15:27,587
Oh, you have pictures?
336
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:30,757
No, I have house.
337
00:15:33,895 --> 00:15:36,713
This is model
from the architect.
338
00:15:39,066 --> 00:15:44,354
And I take it everywhere I am,
to remember where I'm going.
339
00:15:44,356 --> 00:15:45,605
It's cool.
340
00:15:45,607 --> 00:15:49,058
See, girls like you
should be making more money.
341
00:15:49,060 --> 00:15:51,578
Maybe you could consider
coming to work for me.
342
00:15:53,364 --> 00:15:55,198
- Sophie!
- Oh.
343
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:57,901
Thank you for sending girl
to my apartment yesterday.
344
00:15:57,903 --> 00:16:00,170
Oh, did she do the job?
345
00:16:00,172 --> 00:16:01,955
Oh, like no one
ever before.
346
00:16:01,957 --> 00:16:05,742
Down on all fours,
under, over,
347
00:16:05,744 --> 00:16:09,763
under again.
Oh!
348
00:16:09,765 --> 00:16:12,549
Well, my girls don't leave
until you're satisfied.
349
00:16:12,551 --> 00:16:14,751
Maybe she can come
two times a week.
350
00:16:14,753 --> 00:16:19,055
She can come
whenever you want her to come.
351
00:16:19,057 --> 00:16:20,724
Are these
two of your girls?
352
00:16:20,726 --> 00:16:23,777
Well, we were just
discussing that.
353
00:16:23,779 --> 00:16:27,781
Well, this one here looks like
she can take a lot.
354
00:16:28,733 --> 00:16:30,450
Uh, thanks?
355
00:16:30,452 --> 00:16:33,403
My friend Yanni
is at the bar.
356
00:16:33,405 --> 00:16:35,939
Since his divorce, he's
in great need of your service.
357
00:16:35,941 --> 00:16:38,041
Prosze.
Oh, yes.
358
00:16:38,043 --> 00:16:42,913
Uh, excuse me, and, um,
don't touch my house.
359
00:16:45,299 --> 00:16:46,750
I can't believe
she would actually consider
360
00:16:46,752 --> 00:16:48,668
asking us
to be prostitutes.
361
00:16:48,670 --> 00:16:49,920
I know.
362
00:16:49,922 --> 00:16:51,721
I mean, me, I get,
but you, I don't see it.
363
00:16:51,723 --> 00:16:55,508
You heard the guy, I look like
I could "take a lot."
364
00:16:55,510 --> 00:16:58,294
Max, it's not funny.
365
00:16:58,296 --> 00:17:00,480
Isn't it bad enough i may hurt bees
366
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:01,798
from her chanel gloss?
367
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,850
Of course we're not
gonna do it, but come on,
368
00:17:03,852 --> 00:17:05,268
you'd be
a terrible hooker.
369
00:17:05,270 --> 00:17:08,605
Thank you,
I would be a terrible hooker.
370
00:17:08,607 --> 00:17:11,140
I have a heart, and soul,
and dreams,
371
00:17:11,142 --> 00:17:12,826
and want to fall in love
and have a family.
372
00:17:12,828 --> 00:17:15,512
Oh, just say it,
you're bad in bed.
373
00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:17,447
Let's get out of here.
374
00:17:17,449 --> 00:17:19,499
I mean, really,
who does she think I am?
375
00:17:19,501 --> 00:17:23,253
Someone who would just
sell myself to have nice things?
376
00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:26,456
Let me just suck down a little
more of this, and we're off.
377
00:17:26,458 --> 00:17:27,958
If we
walk out of here now,
378
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:30,010
we can just keep walking
to the homeless shelter.
379
00:17:30,012 --> 00:17:33,513
Well, I'd rather be homeless
than a hooker.
380
00:17:33,515 --> 00:17:35,048
Here she comes.
Sit down!
381
00:17:35,050 --> 00:17:37,384
Let's thank her
and politely decline.
382
00:17:37,386 --> 00:17:40,854
Okay, back to
what we were discussing.
383
00:17:40,856 --> 00:17:42,522
Uh, thanks.
384
00:17:42,524 --> 00:17:45,475
We appreciate the offer,
but we are going to pass.
385
00:17:45,477 --> 00:17:47,677
So you don't want to
accomplish your dream?
386
00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:50,864
Well, uh, I'm not exactly sure
those two things line up,
387
00:17:50,866 --> 00:17:52,348
but thanks.
388
00:17:52,350 --> 00:17:54,651
I thought you were smart girls.
389
00:17:54,653 --> 00:17:56,369
We are smart girls,
390
00:17:56,371 --> 00:17:58,121
and smart girls
don't have to sell their bodies
391
00:17:58,123 --> 00:17:59,522
to accomplish their goals.
392
00:17:59,524 --> 00:18:01,908
Not that there's anything
wrong with that.
393
00:18:01,910 --> 00:18:04,127
It works for you, but us?
394
00:18:04,129 --> 00:18:08,665
Well, she's bad in bed
and I have a sour puss.
395
00:18:11,201 --> 00:18:14,154
What guy wants to pay for that?
396
00:18:15,823 --> 00:18:18,825
You think
I am prostitute?
397
00:18:18,827 --> 00:18:23,313
No, everyone has swings
with girls in pajamas.
398
00:18:25,983 --> 00:18:28,068
My business card.
399
00:18:31,155 --> 00:18:33,890
Home cleaning service.
400
00:18:33,892 --> 00:18:36,026
She runs
a cleaning company.
401
00:18:36,028 --> 00:18:39,746
"Sophie's choice."
402
00:18:39,748 --> 00:18:41,698
You realize
what this means?
403
00:18:41,700 --> 00:18:43,533
- We insulted
a hard-working woman
404
00:18:43,535 --> 00:18:45,902
who was trying to help us
attain our goal?
405
00:18:45,904 --> 00:18:46,953
Yes.
406
00:18:46,955 --> 00:18:49,305
And I don't have herpes!
407
00:18:51,175 --> 00:18:52,509
I should have
listened to you.
408
00:18:52,511 --> 00:18:54,461
Meeting neighbors
is a big mistake.
409
00:18:54,463 --> 00:18:56,546
And meeting neighbors
and calling them a prostitute?
410
00:18:56,548 --> 00:18:57,914
Bigger mistake.
411
00:18:57,916 --> 00:19:00,050
Plus, we have to kick in
60 for the check.
412
00:19:00,052 --> 00:19:02,268
What can we
possibly say to her?
413
00:19:02,270 --> 00:19:05,188
That we're sorry, and please
keep playing the bee gees
414
00:19:05,190 --> 00:19:07,256
day or night
as loud as she wants.
415
00:19:08,893 --> 00:19:11,094
Not a good idea
to be smiling right now.
416
00:19:11,096 --> 00:19:14,531
I'm just so happy
I don't have herpes.
417
00:19:18,652 --> 00:19:20,120
Hi, is this
a bad time?
418
00:19:20,122 --> 00:19:23,740
Yes. Yes, I'm in the middle of
having sex for money
419
00:19:23,742 --> 00:19:27,177
with every man
in Brooklyn.
420
00:19:27,179 --> 00:19:30,780
What do you horrible,
horrible girls want?
421
00:19:30,782 --> 00:19:33,333
Here, you left
part of your dream on the table.
422
00:19:33,335 --> 00:19:34,718
And we want
to apologize.
423
00:19:34,720 --> 00:19:37,670
I'm new at this whole
being neighborly thing.
424
00:19:37,672 --> 00:19:40,423
What does the fluffy one
have to say?
425
00:19:40,425 --> 00:19:42,175
Thank you for being
so generous,
426
00:19:42,177 --> 00:19:43,893
and for offering to help us
make more money
427
00:19:43,895 --> 00:19:45,428
to accomplish our dream.
428
00:19:45,430 --> 00:19:48,264
And this is supposed
to make me feel better?
429
00:19:48,266 --> 00:19:51,184
You called me prostitute.
430
00:19:51,186 --> 00:19:52,819
Actually,
it's kind of a compliment
431
00:19:52,821 --> 00:19:54,104
that we thought
you were stunning enough
432
00:19:54,106 --> 00:19:57,657
that men would pay
to have sex with you.
433
00:19:57,659 --> 00:19:59,308
This is true.
434
00:19:59,310 --> 00:20:01,227
Come on in.
435
00:20:05,417 --> 00:20:07,217
♪ Thinking about
those people... ♪
436
00:20:07,219 --> 00:20:11,121
Saturday night fever
is my favorite movie.
437
00:20:11,123 --> 00:20:14,290
Look at him.
He's so sexy.
438
00:20:14,292 --> 00:20:17,827
He's not that cute,
kind of oily.
439
00:20:17,829 --> 00:20:19,179
You're right.
440
00:20:19,181 --> 00:20:23,683
She would have made
terrible prostitute.
441
00:20:23,685 --> 00:20:24,968
That's a nice TV.
442
00:20:24,970 --> 00:20:26,853
Yeah, brand-new.
443
00:20:26,855 --> 00:20:28,638
I have all my girls over
the other night
444
00:20:28,640 --> 00:20:30,890
for viewing sleepover party.
445
00:20:30,892 --> 00:20:32,508
It's also 3-d.
446
00:20:32,510 --> 00:20:34,527
- Does it come with
3-d glasses?
447
00:20:34,529 --> 00:20:36,780
Yeah,
in the drawer there.
448
00:20:38,348 --> 00:20:41,234
- Here.
- Max, it's not a 3-d movie.
449
00:20:41,236 --> 00:20:43,403
- Who cares?
It's 3-d glasses.
450
00:20:43,405 --> 00:20:44,370
Come on,
you're always talking about
451
00:20:44,372 --> 00:20:46,623
wanting us to see things
differently.
452
00:20:47,741 --> 00:20:49,826
Oh, so cool.
453
00:20:49,828 --> 00:20:52,462
This swing
is a brilliant idea.
454
00:20:52,464 --> 00:20:55,832
Yeah, it's for my porch
at lake house.
455
00:20:55,834 --> 00:20:57,667
But why wait?
456
00:20:57,669 --> 00:21:00,503
Dream is now.
457
00:21:01,807 --> 00:21:05,592
♪ Ha-a-ah ♪
458
00:21:05,594 --> 00:21:06,659
♪ More than a woman ♪
33517
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