Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,051 --> 00:00:02,507
Hi, ready to order?
2
00:00:02,509 --> 00:00:04,425
Do you have anything
that's really special?
3
00:00:04,427 --> 00:00:07,679
Not according to my
high school guidance counselor.
4
00:00:07,681 --> 00:00:09,547
I'll have the veggie plate.
5
00:00:09,549 --> 00:00:11,516
But instead of beets,
I want kale.
6
00:00:11,518 --> 00:00:14,018
And instead of broccoli,
more kale.
7
00:00:14,020 --> 00:00:16,020
I want the veggies steamed.
8
00:00:16,022 --> 00:00:17,755
And instead of dressing,
I want lemons.
9
00:00:17,757 --> 00:00:19,691
Don't you need
to write this down?
10
00:00:19,693 --> 00:00:21,526
I'm afraid if I start
writing that down,
11
00:00:21,528 --> 00:00:24,812
it'll turn into a suicide note.
12
00:00:24,814 --> 00:00:26,231
I'm assuming
this table's gonna have
13
00:00:26,233 --> 00:00:27,866
a lot more of those requests.
14
00:00:27,868 --> 00:00:30,902
Yes, I could tell by the hats.
15
00:00:31,022 --> 00:00:40,632
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
16
00:00:40,863 --> 00:00:44,082
Earl, I have something new
I want you to try.
17
00:00:44,084 --> 00:00:46,000
That's the exact same sentence
18
00:00:46,002 --> 00:00:48,953
that got me hooked
on cocaine in the '80s.
19
00:00:48,955 --> 00:00:51,389
It's my new cupcake flavor.
20
00:00:51,391 --> 00:00:54,976
Delicious dark chocolate
the ladies can't help but love.
21
00:00:54,978 --> 00:00:57,178
I'm calling it
"The Earl."
22
00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:00,064
I know you got that right.
23
00:01:00,066 --> 00:01:01,316
Hi, I'm here.
24
00:01:01,318 --> 00:01:03,467
I was running late
so I decided to hail a cab.
25
00:01:03,469 --> 00:01:05,636
And then I remembered I didn't
have any money on me.
26
00:01:05,638 --> 00:01:08,022
And then I remembered
I didn't have any money at all.
27
00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:10,692
So I walked the whole way here.
28
00:01:10,694 --> 00:01:12,944
The apartment's
three blocks away.
29
00:01:12,946 --> 00:01:13,995
Yes, I know.
30
00:01:13,997 --> 00:01:16,480
Three blocks
and 15 "Hola chicas" away.
31
00:01:16,482 --> 00:01:19,033
Well, you can't be late again.
32
00:01:19,035 --> 00:01:20,952
I'm already worried
about me being late...
33
00:01:20,954 --> 00:01:23,154
every month.
34
00:01:23,156 --> 00:01:26,207
On my way here, a homeless man
asked me for money.
35
00:01:26,209 --> 00:01:28,626
And I told him
that I usually always give,
36
00:01:28,628 --> 00:01:31,095
but that my father was indicted
in a Ponzi scandal
37
00:01:31,097 --> 00:01:34,098
and I've lost my family fortune
and my Manhattan townhouse,
38
00:01:34,100 --> 00:01:36,500
so I've been sleeping
on a couch in Brooklyn,
39
00:01:36,502 --> 00:01:38,469
but, in spite of it all,
I'm still optimistic
40
00:01:38,471 --> 00:01:40,221
that you and I
will achieve success
41
00:01:40,223 --> 00:01:43,007
in our exciting new cupcake
business venture.
42
00:01:43,009 --> 00:01:45,476
And look what he gave me!
43
00:01:45,478 --> 00:01:48,229
You took money
from a homeless man?
44
00:01:48,231 --> 00:01:50,565
I prefer to think
of Bob near the bridge
45
00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:52,150
as our first investor.
46
00:01:52,152 --> 00:01:55,036
Pickup!
Special sandwich.
47
00:01:55,038 --> 00:01:57,405
I can think
of even more special sandwich.
48
00:01:57,407 --> 00:02:02,043
You, me
and the hot blonde giraffe.
49
00:02:02,045 --> 00:02:04,712
Well, she recently
lost her dignity,
50
00:02:04,714 --> 00:02:06,347
so you might have a shot.
51
00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:09,417
Hello today!
52
00:02:09,419 --> 00:02:11,085
I have nametag for you.
53
00:02:11,087 --> 00:02:14,055
Only your second day
and look, nametag already.
54
00:02:14,057 --> 00:02:16,674
As new owner, I am killing it.
55
00:02:16,676 --> 00:02:17,708
Thank you.
56
00:02:17,710 --> 00:02:19,143
Oh, it says "Carolin."
57
00:02:19,145 --> 00:02:21,095
It's Caroline.
With an "E."
58
00:02:21,097 --> 00:02:22,880
I'm Caroline.
59
00:02:22,882 --> 00:02:25,400
As new owner, I am sucking it.
60
00:02:25,402 --> 00:02:27,385
Just put it on.
61
00:02:27,387 --> 00:02:29,070
You can't tell an Asian
he made a mistake.
62
00:02:29,072 --> 00:02:32,040
He'll go in the back
and throw himself on a sword.
63
00:02:32,042 --> 00:02:33,691
Thank you,
Mr. Lee.
64
00:02:33,693 --> 00:02:35,076
You may call me Han.
65
00:02:35,078 --> 00:02:36,694
H-a-n.
66
00:02:36,696 --> 00:02:38,613
No trap in my name.
67
00:02:38,615 --> 00:02:40,915
I'm thinking we should take
68
00:02:40,917 --> 00:02:43,167
the first step
in our new cupcake business
69
00:02:43,169 --> 00:02:45,236
by writing
"Max's Homemade Cupcakes"
70
00:02:45,238 --> 00:02:46,571
up on the specials board.
71
00:02:46,573 --> 00:02:48,239
No, I can't have
my name up there.
72
00:02:48,241 --> 00:02:51,426
Everyone I owe money to
thinks I live in Seattle.
73
00:02:51,428 --> 00:02:55,680
Oh, we used to own Seattle.
74
00:02:55,682 --> 00:02:57,932
Max, we've got to get
the name out there.
75
00:02:57,934 --> 00:02:58,966
Create a buzz.
76
00:02:58,968 --> 00:03:00,051
Ooh, good idea!
77
00:03:00,053 --> 00:03:00,968
Let's create a buzz.
78
00:03:00,970 --> 00:03:02,236
Exactly,
in order to launch--
79
00:03:02,238 --> 00:03:04,722
I'm mocking you.
80
00:03:04,724 --> 00:03:06,607
When in doubt,
I'm always mocking you.
81
00:03:06,609 --> 00:03:08,109
Seriously, Max.
82
00:03:08,111 --> 00:03:10,478
This new cupcake business
is our lifeline.
83
00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:12,230
A way out for both of us.
84
00:03:12,232 --> 00:03:15,233
And I wanna thank you again
for letting me move in.
85
00:03:15,235 --> 00:03:17,485
If there's anything
I can do to help you--
86
00:03:17,487 --> 00:03:20,154
You mean besides
starting to wait on tables?
87
00:03:20,156 --> 00:03:21,572
I meant, anything I can do
88
00:03:21,574 --> 00:03:24,208
to help you through
your breakup with Robbie.
89
00:03:24,210 --> 00:03:27,628
Oh. Thanks,
but I'm fine.
90
00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:28,696
And we're working.
91
00:03:28,698 --> 00:03:31,082
Well, one of us is.
92
00:03:31,084 --> 00:03:32,934
Are you sure you're fine?
93
00:03:32,936 --> 00:03:35,136
'Cause I heard you
crying last night.
94
00:03:35,138 --> 00:03:36,471
I don't cry.
95
00:03:36,473 --> 00:03:40,975
I sold my tear ducts to an organ
bank for cash two years ago.
96
00:03:40,977 --> 00:03:42,543
I was on the couch.
97
00:03:42,545 --> 00:03:45,396
And I heard you crying alone
in your bedroom.
98
00:03:45,398 --> 00:03:48,232
Really?
What did the crying sound like?
99
00:03:48,234 --> 00:03:53,488
Like...
100
00:03:54,973 --> 00:03:56,357
I wasn't crying.
101
00:03:56,359 --> 00:03:57,575
Well, then what
were you d--
102
00:03:57,577 --> 00:04:01,145
Oh! So none of
my business.
103
00:04:01,147 --> 00:04:03,614
That's right.
And remember that.
104
00:04:03,616 --> 00:04:04,982
Got it.
105
00:04:04,984 --> 00:04:06,284
In fact, let's just say
that anything having to do
106
00:04:06,286 --> 00:04:09,170
with my bedroom, my tables,
or my life--
107
00:04:09,172 --> 00:04:10,254
you should stay away from.
108
00:04:10,256 --> 00:04:11,655
Boundaries.
Got it.
109
00:04:11,657 --> 00:04:15,326
And please
don't tell anyone at work
110
00:04:15,328 --> 00:04:16,828
I let you move
into my apartment.
111
00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:19,330
That is one boundary
we both don't want crossed.
112
00:04:19,332 --> 00:04:21,299
Why?
113
00:04:21,301 --> 00:04:23,301
Hey, roomies.
114
00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,486
That's why.
115
00:04:31,933 --> 00:04:33,265
Hope those sheets are okay.
116
00:04:33,573 --> 00:04:34,507
Oh, don't worry about it.
117
00:04:34,627 --> 00:04:36,042
I know they're the best
you could afford.
118
00:04:36,993 --> 00:04:39,827
Not really.
The good ones are on my bed.
119
00:04:39,829 --> 00:04:42,079
Max, that oven is so hot.
120
00:04:42,081 --> 00:04:44,398
Could you do me a favor
and open the back door?
121
00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:45,499
We've known each other two days
122
00:04:45,501 --> 00:04:47,901
and you're already
asking for back door?
123
00:04:55,343 --> 00:04:57,344
Dear God!
124
00:04:57,346 --> 00:04:59,680
I forgot
you're Equestrian Barbie.
125
00:04:59,682 --> 00:05:02,366
You came with a horse.
126
00:05:02,368 --> 00:05:04,185
No.
127
00:05:04,187 --> 00:05:07,087
Out, horse, bad!
Bad horse.
128
00:05:07,089 --> 00:05:12,977
Chestnut.
129
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:16,363
No need to yell,
he's a champion.
130
00:05:16,365 --> 00:05:18,315
Champion stink bomb.
131
00:05:18,317 --> 00:05:20,401
It's smelling pretty ripe
out in that yard.
132
00:05:20,403 --> 00:05:23,537
That's not Chestnut,
that's Brooklyn.
133
00:05:23,539 --> 00:05:25,939
Okay, well, I'm watching
"The Champion"
134
00:05:25,941 --> 00:05:31,245
drop some steaming hot
"Brooklyn" right now.
135
00:05:31,247 --> 00:05:34,365
Max, I've been thinking about
how you completely overreacted
136
00:05:34,367 --> 00:05:36,383
to your name
up on the specials board.
137
00:05:36,385 --> 00:05:38,419
Do you think it's
a fear of success?
138
00:05:38,421 --> 00:05:41,972
I am too poor
to have a fear of success.
139
00:05:41,974 --> 00:05:43,591
At Wharton Business School,
we learned
140
00:05:43,593 --> 00:05:46,060
that every new venture can bring
up a certain amount of fear.
141
00:05:46,062 --> 00:05:48,229
Is there any way
to do a yelp review
142
00:05:48,231 --> 00:05:50,514
of Wharton Business School?
143
00:05:50,516 --> 00:05:53,851
Maybe you're having
a hard time imagining
144
00:05:53,853 --> 00:05:55,819
this cupcake business
could ever even happen
145
00:05:55,821 --> 00:05:59,156
because nobody ever believed
in you or your dreams.
146
00:05:59,158 --> 00:06:00,391
I'm guessing.
147
00:06:00,393 --> 00:06:03,310
I can make this happen, Max.
148
00:06:03,312 --> 00:06:05,646
For me, for you, for us.
149
00:06:05,648 --> 00:06:07,781
Just keep making
those amazing cupcakes.
150
00:06:07,783 --> 00:06:10,484
And I'll do the rest
till you believe.
151
00:06:10,486 --> 00:06:11,952
I believe
everything you just said
152
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:15,172
and that children
are the future.
153
00:06:34,342 --> 00:06:36,427
Max, it's me!
154
00:06:36,429 --> 00:06:39,513
I know it's you.
155
00:06:39,515 --> 00:06:41,532
You sleep with a knife
under your pillow?
156
00:06:41,534 --> 00:06:45,819
It's the only home security
system I can afford.
157
00:06:45,821 --> 00:06:48,021
And I'm a cutter.
158
00:06:48,023 --> 00:06:50,708
I can't sleep on that couch.
159
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:54,878
I think Ikea might be the
Scandinavian word for sciatica.
160
00:06:54,880 --> 00:06:57,364
And there's weird sounds
in the street.
161
00:06:57,366 --> 00:06:59,717
And I don't have
my white noise machine.
162
00:06:59,719 --> 00:07:01,335
Well, that's
Puerto Rican noise.
163
00:07:01,337 --> 00:07:02,536
You'll get used to it.
164
00:07:02,538 --> 00:07:05,806
Can I just lay down here
and get a little sleep?
165
00:07:05,808 --> 00:07:08,726
I don't even let the men
I sleep with sleep with me.
166
00:07:08,728 --> 00:07:11,478
I can't get into
your issues right now.
167
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,514
I just need to sleep!
168
00:07:13,516 --> 00:07:17,151
Fine, get in then.
169
00:07:17,153 --> 00:07:18,686
What is that?
170
00:07:18,688 --> 00:07:22,323
Potato chips.
I sleep-eat.
171
00:07:22,325 --> 00:07:24,808
Cool ranch and bacon?
172
00:07:24,810 --> 00:07:26,893
Dude, they're delicious.
173
00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:28,996
Because of your breakup
with Robbie?
174
00:07:28,998 --> 00:07:30,280
Just get in.
175
00:07:30,282 --> 00:07:33,534
I have to be in the city
to babysit in five hours.
176
00:07:38,740 --> 00:07:40,407
Oh, great,
you're like a nightlight.
177
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:45,179
You're so blonde.
178
00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:47,881
Thank you.
179
00:07:49,018 --> 00:07:53,604
Max, someone's
in the living room.
180
00:07:53,606 --> 00:07:56,273
Max, someone's in the bedroom!
181
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:57,691
Robbie!
182
00:07:57,693 --> 00:07:59,493
What's up, babe?
183
00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:01,195
Robbie, what are you
doing here?
184
00:08:01,197 --> 00:08:02,596
We broke up.
185
00:08:02,598 --> 00:08:04,565
Still?
186
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,450
Yes, still.
You hit on me.
187
00:08:06,452 --> 00:08:08,202
And then she caught you
with someone else
188
00:08:08,204 --> 00:08:09,603
in these very sheets.
189
00:08:09,605 --> 00:08:12,489
Which I'm hoping she washed.
190
00:08:12,491 --> 00:08:13,707
Oh, I get it.
191
00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:16,377
You blew me off
'cause you like the ladies.
192
00:08:16,379 --> 00:08:19,079
Which is cool.
I like the ladies, too.
193
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,715
And right now,
it's the two ladies I like.
194
00:08:21,717 --> 00:08:23,717
Robbie, if I were
gonna go lesbian,
195
00:08:23,719 --> 00:08:27,337
she would be the last "les"
I'd "bian."
196
00:08:27,339 --> 00:08:28,972
Listen, babe--
197
00:08:28,974 --> 00:08:30,123
You really hurt her.
198
00:08:30,125 --> 00:08:31,225
Stop.
199
00:08:31,227 --> 00:08:34,228
She sleep-eats trans fats
thanks to you.
200
00:08:34,230 --> 00:08:36,296
Here, stuff all of these
in your mouth.
201
00:08:36,298 --> 00:08:40,967
Got it, your thing.
I'll be quiet.
202
00:08:40,969 --> 00:08:42,986
Robbie, this isn't cool at all.
203
00:08:42,988 --> 00:08:45,138
Mm-mm.
204
00:08:45,140 --> 00:08:47,307
Showing up here
after what you did?
205
00:08:47,309 --> 00:08:49,142
You go, girl.
206
00:08:49,144 --> 00:08:52,446
I have something to say to you
and you had better listen.
207
00:08:52,448 --> 00:08:56,483
Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo.
208
00:08:56,485 --> 00:08:59,820
What are you,
the relationship ghost?
209
00:08:59,822 --> 00:09:01,288
Robbie, just go!
210
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,258
I can't say what I need to in
front of the relationship ghost.
211
00:09:04,260 --> 00:09:06,093
I'll call you
to come get your stuff
212
00:09:06,095 --> 00:09:07,211
and we can talk then.
213
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:08,495
Leave the key.
214
00:09:08,497 --> 00:09:12,599
Straight up, Max,
you're breaking my heart.
215
00:09:12,601 --> 00:09:15,719
You're the only woman
that I feel this way about.
216
00:09:19,557 --> 00:09:21,975
Here.
217
00:09:21,977 --> 00:09:24,228
Ladies, I don't know
what's going on here,
218
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:27,448
but it would've been
a lot sexier if I was in it.
219
00:09:30,452 --> 00:09:32,786
Are you okay?
220
00:09:32,788 --> 00:09:35,188
If you wanna talk, I'm here.
221
00:09:35,190 --> 00:09:38,375
Can I get a hit off that?
222
00:09:43,865 --> 00:09:47,534
You think these are good?
223
00:09:47,536 --> 00:09:50,654
God, we're poor.
224
00:09:55,860 --> 00:09:56,927
Morning!
225
00:09:56,929 --> 00:09:58,545
It's a beautiful day.
226
00:09:58,547 --> 00:10:02,166
These shades belong down.
227
00:10:02,168 --> 00:10:04,268
From now on, think of me
as a vampire
228
00:10:04,270 --> 00:10:07,020
without all
the annoying marketing.
229
00:10:07,022 --> 00:10:08,272
Bad news.
230
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,858
A pipe broke in the street
so the water's off.
231
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,610
Good news, when I went out
to get us two coffees,
232
00:10:13,612 --> 00:10:16,897
I spoke to Juan and Javier,
two city workers.
233
00:10:16,899 --> 00:10:20,000
And they assured me the water'll
be on no later than 3:00.
234
00:10:20,002 --> 00:10:21,451
I also stopped
at the health food store
235
00:10:21,453 --> 00:10:23,237
and got us
a fresh-squeezed juice to split.
236
00:10:23,239 --> 00:10:25,005
It's ginger-apple-strawberry.
237
00:10:25,007 --> 00:10:26,239
That was the name of the hooker
238
00:10:26,241 --> 00:10:29,543
who had this apartment
before me.
239
00:10:31,412 --> 00:10:32,713
What is this?
240
00:10:32,715 --> 00:10:34,131
From me.
241
00:10:34,133 --> 00:10:36,350
It says "Thanks for letting me
sleep in your bed last night."
242
00:10:36,352 --> 00:10:39,887
I prefer my usual cash
on the bedside table.
243
00:10:39,889 --> 00:10:42,923
When I went
to the cute coffee place,
244
00:10:42,925 --> 00:10:45,258
I spoke to the counter girl,
Nabulangi--
245
00:10:45,260 --> 00:10:48,028
If someone named Nabulangi
is making an appearance
246
00:10:48,030 --> 00:10:50,013
in the first sentence,
I have to sit down.
247
00:10:50,015 --> 00:10:53,099
And she said
her manager'll be in at 11:00.
248
00:10:53,101 --> 00:10:55,602
So I thought I'd chanel it up,
249
00:10:55,604 --> 00:10:56,770
walk on over there,
250
00:10:56,772 --> 00:10:59,439
introduce myself
and your fabulous cupcakes.
251
00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,659
That's exactly what
I was gonna do.
252
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:05,412
I'm just gonna go say good-bye
to Chestnut and get going.
253
00:11:05,414 --> 00:11:07,297
You know, having
only one cute outfit
254
00:11:07,299 --> 00:11:12,736
takes hours off
getting dressed.
255
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:16,506
Oh. That is a lot
of fresh Brooklyn.
256
00:11:16,508 --> 00:11:17,958
Morning, Chestnut.
257
00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:19,927
It's a beautiful--
258
00:11:19,929 --> 00:11:24,130
No. Way.
259
00:11:34,309 --> 00:11:38,862
Look, Chanel Number Two.
260
00:11:38,864 --> 00:11:42,482
Tell me it's mud.
261
00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,150
T-tell me it's mud.
262
00:11:44,152 --> 00:11:46,670
It's mud?
263
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,088
What is that?
264
00:11:48,090 --> 00:11:51,508
A carrot?
265
00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:54,711
There's carrots in the mud?
266
00:11:58,683 --> 00:12:00,851
There's no water.
267
00:12:00,853 --> 00:12:03,220
Oh, get it off me, please.
268
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:04,221
Please do something.
269
00:12:04,223 --> 00:12:06,356
Just get it off me,
get it off me.
270
00:12:06,358 --> 00:12:07,391
Stop!
271
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:08,842
This is dry-clean only.
272
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:11,011
Max, please, please take me
273
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:14,064
somewhere they have
a hot shower, I beg of you.
274
00:12:14,066 --> 00:12:15,517
Calm down, it's just mud.
275
00:12:15,637 --> 00:12:17,034
Max, please--
276
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,620
Don't touch me!
277
00:12:24,951 --> 00:12:26,818
Thank you so much
for taking me to shower
278
00:12:26,820 --> 00:12:28,003
at your babysitting job.
279
00:12:28,005 --> 00:12:29,854
Well, I didn't have
much of a choice.
280
00:12:29,856 --> 00:12:32,290
You pulled the pillow knife
on me.
281
00:12:32,292 --> 00:12:33,491
I'll just introduce myself
to your boss
282
00:12:33,493 --> 00:12:35,476
and tell her what happened.
283
00:12:35,478 --> 00:12:36,494
Look, I don't want Peach
to know you were here.
284
00:12:36,496 --> 00:12:38,613
This is a job.
Not a meet-and-greet.
285
00:12:38,615 --> 00:12:39,814
Got it.
286
00:12:39,816 --> 00:12:41,333
You get in there, you
take a five-minute shower,
287
00:12:41,335 --> 00:12:42,817
clean it up and go.
288
00:12:42,819 --> 00:12:45,437
Fine, I'll hide in the hallway
till she's gone.
289
00:12:45,439 --> 00:12:48,840
No need, just follow me in.
She never really looks at me.
290
00:12:48,842 --> 00:12:50,175
Morning!
291
00:12:50,177 --> 00:12:52,794
Hi, Max.
292
00:12:52,796 --> 00:12:55,463
Go!
293
00:12:55,465 --> 00:12:56,497
Hey, Peach.
294
00:12:56,499 --> 00:12:58,383
Uh, hair and makeup.
295
00:12:58,385 --> 00:12:59,634
What's the big occasion?
296
00:12:59,636 --> 00:13:01,886
Pilates.
297
00:13:01,888 --> 00:13:04,005
Max, good news.
298
00:13:04,007 --> 00:13:06,941
They found a way
to make diamonds more sparkly?
299
00:13:06,943 --> 00:13:10,812
I got Brad and Angelina
a playdate
300
00:13:10,814 --> 00:13:13,114
with another set of twins
in the building.
301
00:13:13,116 --> 00:13:14,449
It starts in five minutes.
302
00:13:14,451 --> 00:13:15,567
Cool, what are their names?
303
00:13:15,569 --> 00:13:17,685
6B.
304
00:13:17,687 --> 00:13:19,654
Bye-bye,
Brangelina.
305
00:13:19,656 --> 00:13:21,122
Mommy loves you.
306
00:13:21,124 --> 00:13:23,208
Guys?
Before you leave,
307
00:13:23,210 --> 00:13:24,459
stop at this one.
308
00:13:24,461 --> 00:13:25,860
Angelina could
use a little help.
309
00:13:25,862 --> 00:13:28,880
Contour that neck,
she's a fatty.
310
00:13:28,882 --> 00:13:30,665
Peach, come on,
that's baby fat.
311
00:13:30,667 --> 00:13:33,168
Still, kids can be cruel.
312
00:13:33,170 --> 00:13:35,970
Don't you listen
to your mommy, Angelina.
313
00:13:35,972 --> 00:13:38,139
She never eats.
314
00:13:38,141 --> 00:13:41,309
Oh, no, she doesn't.
315
00:13:43,012 --> 00:13:44,696
Here it is.
316
00:13:44,698 --> 00:13:46,181
Caroline with an "E."
317
00:13:46,183 --> 00:13:48,382
I have your new
and correct nametag.
318
00:13:48,384 --> 00:13:49,768
Oh, thank you, Han.
319
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:52,720
Oh.
320
00:13:52,722 --> 00:13:54,939
I've seen something
I should not have.
321
00:13:54,941 --> 00:13:58,559
I will just put correct nametag
here on counter.
322
00:13:58,561 --> 00:14:03,031
So sorry, but many thank yous.
323
00:14:03,033 --> 00:14:04,532
What are you doing?
324
00:14:04,534 --> 00:14:06,751
I know you said
you don't want it up there.
325
00:14:06,753 --> 00:14:08,736
But now that you see it...
326
00:14:08,738 --> 00:14:10,422
How does it feel?
327
00:14:10,424 --> 00:14:12,006
It feels like
you're not listening to me
328
00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:13,508
at this job or at my other job.
329
00:14:13,510 --> 00:14:15,427
I said a five-minute shower
and get out.
330
00:14:15,429 --> 00:14:17,011
Did you take a nap at Peach's?
331
00:14:17,013 --> 00:14:18,596
The thread count
was calling to me.
332
00:14:18,598 --> 00:14:21,382
Peach found blonde hairs
in her bed
333
00:14:21,384 --> 00:14:23,351
and thought her husband
was cheating on her.
334
00:14:23,353 --> 00:14:26,137
Which he is,
but that's not the point.
335
00:14:26,139 --> 00:14:28,807
You almost ruined
a perfectly happy fake marriage,
336
00:14:28,809 --> 00:14:30,475
and there are
innocent children involved.
337
00:14:30,477 --> 00:14:32,977
Well, I have some good news.
338
00:14:32,979 --> 00:14:34,596
Look, it's Nabulangi.
339
00:14:34,598 --> 00:14:36,614
I invited her in
to taste your amazing cupcakes.
340
00:14:36,616 --> 00:14:39,234
And when she loves them,
we'll have an in at her bakery.
341
00:14:39,236 --> 00:14:40,819
Come over and say hello.
342
00:14:40,821 --> 00:14:43,104
No, I can't now. I wanna call
Robbie before we get too busy.
343
00:14:43,106 --> 00:14:44,789
Tell him when to come over
and get his stuff.
344
00:14:44,791 --> 00:14:45,990
Max, wait.
345
00:14:45,992 --> 00:14:47,559
No, don't distract me.
346
00:14:47,561 --> 00:14:49,210
I wanna sound cool and hot
and all like,
347
00:14:49,212 --> 00:14:52,113
"You can't have me
anymore, sucka."
348
00:14:52,115 --> 00:14:53,214
Max--
349
00:14:53,216 --> 00:14:54,799
Robbie, it's me.
350
00:14:54,801 --> 00:14:57,969
Classy burp
on your outgoing message.
351
00:14:57,971 --> 00:14:59,287
Max, I--
352
00:14:59,289 --> 00:15:00,338
No.
353
00:15:00,340 --> 00:15:02,223
I need you to come
get your stuff tomorrow.
354
00:15:02,225 --> 00:15:03,842
I don't know how
you've been surviving
355
00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:07,011
without your chin-up bar
and Axe body spray.
356
00:15:07,013 --> 00:15:07,979
Max, hang up.
357
00:15:07,981 --> 00:15:10,431
I already called him.
358
00:15:10,433 --> 00:15:12,484
You called Robbie?
359
00:15:12,486 --> 00:15:13,568
You've done so much for me.
360
00:15:13,570 --> 00:15:15,403
I wanted to do
something for you, too.
361
00:15:15,405 --> 00:15:16,905
So I called Robbie
and I had him come over,
362
00:15:16,907 --> 00:15:18,356
and I gave him his stuff.
363
00:15:18,358 --> 00:15:20,608
Now you won't have to go through
with all that mess.
364
00:15:20,610 --> 00:15:24,312
And I think you'd be pleased,
I really let him have it.
365
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:27,648
What is with you
and boundaries?
366
00:15:27,650 --> 00:15:29,334
You're in my bed,
you're in my boss' bed,
367
00:15:29,336 --> 00:15:30,785
and now you go and call Robbie?
368
00:15:30,787 --> 00:15:32,587
You're like--
you're like your big-ass horse.
369
00:15:32,589 --> 00:15:34,488
Charging in everywhere
you don't belong.
370
00:15:34,490 --> 00:15:36,657
I thought I was
doing you a favor.
371
00:15:36,659 --> 00:15:39,594
In spite of what you say
about the sounds I heard
372
00:15:39,596 --> 00:15:41,045
coming from your bedroom
the other night,
373
00:15:41,047 --> 00:15:42,680
I know you're upset.
374
00:15:42,682 --> 00:15:46,334
I was masturbating.
375
00:15:46,336 --> 00:15:50,471
I love my job.
376
00:15:50,473 --> 00:15:53,825
I need to see you
outside. Now.
377
00:15:53,827 --> 00:15:55,860
Don't get involved with her.
378
00:15:55,862 --> 00:15:57,845
She takes money
from the homeless.
379
00:15:57,847 --> 00:15:59,898
Not true, Bob's an investor.
380
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,115
Be right back.
381
00:16:01,117 --> 00:16:04,319
Good cupcake, right?
382
00:16:07,289 --> 00:16:08,823
Max, I don't know
how smart that was,
383
00:16:08,825 --> 00:16:11,459
blowing by our only potential
business contact.
384
00:16:11,461 --> 00:16:14,829
You stole my breakup scene.
385
00:16:14,831 --> 00:16:16,714
The only remotely good thing
about breaking up with a guy
386
00:16:16,716 --> 00:16:18,699
is telling him how much better
you are than him
387
00:16:18,701 --> 00:16:20,385
when you give him back
his stuff.
388
00:16:20,387 --> 00:16:22,003
I don't know if you noticed,
389
00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:23,888
but my entertainment budget
is pretty low
390
00:16:23,890 --> 00:16:25,640
and I was really
looking forward to that.
391
00:16:25,642 --> 00:16:28,176
And then you went and stole it.
392
00:16:28,178 --> 00:16:29,727
But I guess
you couldn't help it,
393
00:16:29,729 --> 00:16:32,530
'cause that's what you channings
do, you steal things.
394
00:16:33,715 --> 00:16:35,233
Huh.
395
00:16:35,235 --> 00:16:36,651
Interesting.
396
00:16:36,653 --> 00:16:39,487
Okay, you wanted
a breakup scene?
397
00:16:39,489 --> 00:16:40,688
You're in one.
398
00:16:40,690 --> 00:16:42,023
I'm breaking up with you.
399
00:16:42,025 --> 00:16:43,224
Oh, okay.
400
00:16:43,226 --> 00:16:45,693
The cupcake business is over,
the dream is dead.
401
00:16:45,695 --> 00:16:48,729
Oh, I'm sure Nabulangi
will be devastated.
402
00:16:48,731 --> 00:16:51,416
I don't need you
or your cupcakes to survive.
403
00:16:51,418 --> 00:16:52,617
I'll figure something else out.
404
00:16:52,619 --> 00:16:55,420
Because, aside from your
constant Wharton putdowns,
405
00:16:55,422 --> 00:16:56,838
I'm a business genius
406
00:16:56,840 --> 00:16:58,706
and I will always land
on my feet.
407
00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:00,008
Oh, really?
408
00:17:00,010 --> 00:17:02,260
'Cause today you kind of
landed on your front.
409
00:17:02,262 --> 00:17:03,962
We're done.
410
00:17:03,964 --> 00:17:06,247
After work tonight,
I'll get my things and be gone.
411
00:17:06,249 --> 00:17:08,600
Ooh, you gonna load up
your dream-filled wheelie bag
412
00:17:08,602 --> 00:17:11,252
and ride away
on sir muds-a-lot?
413
00:17:11,254 --> 00:17:14,138
Go ahead.
Be as negative as you want.
414
00:17:14,140 --> 00:17:16,242
'Cause you're in charge
of your own future again.
415
00:17:16,362 --> 00:17:19,125
Oh, joke's on you.
I don't have a future.
416
00:17:31,823 --> 00:17:33,090
Max...
417
00:17:33,092 --> 00:17:34,859
Are you up?
418
00:17:34,861 --> 00:17:36,594
No.
419
00:17:36,596 --> 00:17:39,246
Max, are you mad?
420
00:17:39,248 --> 00:17:40,247
Yes.
421
00:17:40,249 --> 00:17:43,033
Are you up and mad?
422
00:17:43,035 --> 00:17:45,503
No and yes.
423
00:17:45,505 --> 00:17:47,955
Oh, your bed's so soft.
424
00:17:47,957 --> 00:17:51,459
That's my boob.
425
00:17:51,461 --> 00:17:54,929
I know I moved out,
but I came back.
426
00:17:54,931 --> 00:17:57,414
I took the rest
of our dead dream money
427
00:17:57,416 --> 00:18:00,434
and bought some cocktails
for myself and some people.
428
00:18:00,436 --> 00:18:02,720
And myself.
429
00:18:02,722 --> 00:18:04,355
Did you bring me back
any of those?
430
00:18:04,357 --> 00:18:06,640
'Cause I can't
listen to this sober.
431
00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:09,059
Max...
432
00:18:09,061 --> 00:18:12,396
I have nothing.
433
00:18:12,398 --> 00:18:15,232
I really need
the cupcake business.
434
00:18:15,234 --> 00:18:18,435
I can be different.
435
00:18:18,437 --> 00:18:19,687
No, you can't.
436
00:18:19,689 --> 00:18:22,573
No, I can't.
437
00:18:22,575 --> 00:18:26,160
But I can be better.
438
00:18:26,162 --> 00:18:27,611
Please?
439
00:18:27,613 --> 00:18:30,381
Please, let's do this.
440
00:18:30,383 --> 00:18:32,583
I know you have
a fear of success.
441
00:18:32,585 --> 00:18:36,286
You do, because no one
ever believed in your dreams.
442
00:18:36,288 --> 00:18:39,957
But I believe in your dreams.
443
00:18:39,959 --> 00:18:41,976
We have a dream.
444
00:18:41,978 --> 00:18:44,461
God, you are so drunk.
445
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:48,399
So you probably
won't even remember this.
446
00:18:48,401 --> 00:18:53,204
I'm sorry I said that stuff
about your father.
447
00:18:53,206 --> 00:18:54,905
Did you hear me?
448
00:18:54,907 --> 00:18:58,642
Max, are you up?
449
00:18:58,644 --> 00:19:04,582
Hey, do you have any more
of those poor people chips?
450
00:19:04,584 --> 00:19:08,819
What's up, hangover three?
451
00:19:08,821 --> 00:19:10,087
Why are these up?
452
00:19:10,089 --> 00:19:13,591
I thought we were vampires.
453
00:19:13,593 --> 00:19:16,710
Here, I took the rest
of last night's cupcake money,
454
00:19:16,712 --> 00:19:20,648
and brought you a coffee
and a fresh juice.
455
00:19:20,650 --> 00:19:22,883
Which means that,
after two days in business,
456
00:19:22,885 --> 00:19:26,303
we are $23 down
from where we were.
457
00:19:26,305 --> 00:19:29,890
So we're still building
our cupcake business?
458
00:19:29,892 --> 00:19:31,108
Sure.
459
00:19:31,110 --> 00:19:33,110
All we need is how much?
460
00:19:33,112 --> 00:19:35,646
$250,000.
461
00:19:35,648 --> 00:19:38,616
Which is awesome.
462
00:19:38,618 --> 00:19:41,902
Max, I'm sorry
I crossed all those boundaries.
463
00:19:41,904 --> 00:19:43,120
It's cool.
464
00:19:43,122 --> 00:19:45,072
Me and drunk Caroline
worked it all out.
465
00:19:45,074 --> 00:19:47,074
In fact...
466
00:19:47,076 --> 00:19:52,046
She signed this paper.
467
00:19:52,048 --> 00:19:55,983
"I, drunk Caroline,
am a..."
468
00:19:55,985 --> 00:19:57,801
What's that word?
469
00:19:57,803 --> 00:20:00,804
Punk ass ho.
470
00:20:00,806 --> 00:20:02,256
Thanks.
471
00:20:02,258 --> 00:20:05,809
"I, drunk Caroline,
am a punk ass ho.
472
00:20:05,811 --> 00:20:08,312
"I promise to keep
my big mouth shut,
473
00:20:08,314 --> 00:20:11,232
"and replace all
of Max's poor people chips.
474
00:20:11,234 --> 00:20:17,220
I will no longer meddle
in her relation-chips."
475
00:20:17,222 --> 00:20:20,574
You laughed about that
until you threw up.
476
00:20:20,576 --> 00:20:21,859
Oh, and if you're wondering,
477
00:20:21,861 --> 00:20:25,112
no, the puke stains
will not void this contract.
478
00:20:28,399 --> 00:20:31,234
God!
479
00:20:31,236 --> 00:20:33,587
I forgot again
that we have a horse.
480
00:20:33,589 --> 00:20:35,089
Max, get him out of here.
481
00:20:35,091 --> 00:20:37,319
He doesn't know I'm a waitress.
482
00:20:40,046 --> 00:20:41,089
Chestnut.
483
00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:47,518
He is a champion.
484
00:20:47,520 --> 00:20:49,304
He learned that a lot
faster than you did.
485
00:20:49,773 --> 00:20:57,000
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
34200
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
