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1
00:00:02,219 --> 00:00:03,844
GRAHAM: Welcome to "Everlasting"!
2
00:00:03,845 --> 00:00:07,390
Let's go, people! I
want nudity, 911 calls.
3
00:00:07,391 --> 00:00:10,184
I need an episode. Get
me something I can use.
4
00:00:10,185 --> 00:00:13,896
You're pumping toxic sludge
into the minds of young women.
5
00:00:13,897 --> 00:00:15,564
I want to talk about you... and me.
6
00:00:15,565 --> 00:00:17,275
The only thing that matters is us.
7
00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:19,193
You and I can be together... for real.
8
00:00:19,194 --> 00:00:20,736
I don't want that.
9
00:00:20,737 --> 00:00:22,822
DR. SIMON: She's clearly
had way too much to drink.
10
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:24,615
She wanted it, mate.
11
00:00:24,616 --> 00:00:26,534
You are not built to be number two
12
00:00:26,535 --> 00:00:28,035
to some mediocre white dude.
13
00:00:28,036 --> 00:00:31,330
You can be number one.
I can do that for you.
14
00:00:31,331 --> 00:00:34,208
"Passport to Dance."
Alexi's gonna host it.
15
00:00:34,209 --> 00:00:36,544
It's our very own "Everlasting" date.
16
00:00:36,545 --> 00:00:37,753
We have a deal.
17
00:00:37,754 --> 00:00:39,964
I suck you. You bring me coke.
18
00:00:39,965 --> 00:00:42,300
This is disgusting.
19
00:00:42,301 --> 00:00:43,801
I guess this is goodbye.
20
00:00:43,802 --> 00:00:44,928
Yeah.
21
00:00:49,641 --> 00:00:51,392
I don't want to be with you anymore.
22
00:00:51,393 --> 00:00:53,394
I'd rather be alone forever.
23
00:00:53,395 --> 00:00:56,105
And I think you're gonna
be alone forever, too.
24
00:00:56,106 --> 00:00:58,317
I think that's best for everyone.
25
00:01:00,277 --> 00:01:03,195
This is one for the ages
26
00:01:03,196 --> 00:01:06,282
Here's a little truth bomb for you.
27
00:01:06,283 --> 00:01:08,326
The women I tend to meet on Bumble
28
00:01:08,327 --> 00:01:11,829
look a lot worse
than their profile pics...
29
00:01:11,830 --> 00:01:15,541
not much, much better.
30
00:01:15,542 --> 00:01:16,792
Here's to the real thing.
31
00:01:16,793 --> 00:01:19,420
[CHUCKLES]
32
00:01:19,421 --> 00:01:21,756
- You're sweet.
- [GLASSES CLINK]
33
00:01:21,757 --> 00:01:23,090
So, either you just signed up
34
00:01:23,091 --> 00:01:26,135
or I've tragically been missing you.
35
00:01:26,136 --> 00:01:28,304
No, I'm fresh meat. [LAUGHS]
36
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:31,599
Yeah, it's been a really, um...
37
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:34,810
a really fun and illuminating month.
38
00:01:34,811 --> 00:01:38,856
I realized I hadn't been
on an actual date in, like,
39
00:01:38,857 --> 00:01:42,151
forever [SCOFFS] because
I work like a crazy person.
40
00:01:42,152 --> 00:01:44,279
Well, what do you do
that keeps you so busy?
41
00:01:45,947 --> 00:01:48,115
Have you ever heard of a
show called "Everlasting"?
42
00:01:48,116 --> 00:01:50,243
Seriously? Yeah, I love that show.
43
00:01:52,204 --> 00:01:54,330
[CLANK]
44
00:01:54,331 --> 00:01:59,085
Welcome to "Everlasting" after hours.
45
00:01:59,086 --> 00:02:03,005
The control room's back there.
46
00:02:03,006 --> 00:02:08,761
The contestants' bedrooms
are right up those stairs.
47
00:02:08,762 --> 00:02:12,641
And the suitor's suite is
right off the courtyard.
48
00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:17,311
This is unbelievable.
49
00:02:17,312 --> 00:02:18,813
You are unbelievable.
50
00:02:18,814 --> 00:02:20,856
And the tour's just getting started.
51
00:02:20,857 --> 00:02:22,566
No one holds me
the way that you do
52
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:25,695
So, we start shooting the
next season tomorrow night,
53
00:02:25,696 --> 00:02:30,116
which means things are really
gonna heat up around here.
54
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:31,992
So, I got to ask...
55
00:02:31,993 --> 00:02:34,453
is all the sex and romance real,
56
00:02:34,454 --> 00:02:38,165
or do you manufacture it?
57
00:02:38,166 --> 00:02:40,502
I can make anything real.
58
00:02:48,051 --> 00:02:50,344
You're gonna go in? Okay...
59
00:02:50,345 --> 00:02:52,763
You gotta hurry up!
60
00:02:55,726 --> 00:02:57,769
[LAUGHING] Yeah.
61
00:03:01,606 --> 00:03:04,066
There's still something
I just don't get.
62
00:03:04,067 --> 00:03:06,610
How the hell are you still single?
63
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:21,960
[CAR DOOR CLOSES]
64
00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,757
[INDISTINCT TALKING]
65
00:03:30,552 --> 00:03:33,220
- MITCHELL: I'll text you later.
- RACHEL: Yeah, okay. It was good.
66
00:03:33,221 --> 00:03:34,638
Still at it, huh?
67
00:03:34,639 --> 00:03:37,975
Trying to fill that
dark wound of your soul,
68
00:03:37,976 --> 00:03:39,768
only now as a blonde!
69
00:03:39,769 --> 00:03:43,272
Wow. What is this? Contestant Rachel?
70
00:03:43,273 --> 00:03:46,692
Oh, and who is behind the tinted glass?
71
00:03:46,693 --> 00:03:50,488
German-�car-�leasing,
douchebag producer Jay!
72
00:03:50,489 --> 00:03:51,489
Nice to meet you.
73
00:03:51,490 --> 00:03:53,073
Oh, honestly, Rachel,
74
00:03:53,074 --> 00:03:55,701
I envy you so much, having
only one show to produce.
75
00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:57,203
"Passport to Dance."
76
00:03:57,204 --> 00:03:59,246
How's that going with
the ex-�boy toy, Alexi?
77
00:03:59,247 --> 00:04:01,040
- JAY: He's still in rehab.
- RACHEL: No shit.
78
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,458
Desperately needed.
79
00:04:02,459 --> 00:04:04,293
Yeah, I'm just glad
I didn't have to prep
80
00:04:04,294 --> 00:04:05,961
this crazy-�ass season.
81
00:04:05,962 --> 00:04:08,672
I cannot believe Quinn
just let you run with it.
82
00:04:08,673 --> 00:04:10,549
Totally fine. We've got
this thing under control.
83
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:11,926
Who's "we"?
84
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:14,303
Uh, a new producer... smart, young, hot.
85
00:04:14,304 --> 00:04:16,388
- RACHEL: Don't be jealous or worried.
- JAY: [SCOFFS] Oh, please.
86
00:04:16,389 --> 00:04:17,681
- RACHEL: But you should be.
- DAN: Hey, Jay.
87
00:04:17,682 --> 00:04:19,099
- JAY: Nah, I'm not.
- DAN: Jay. Rachel.
88
00:04:19,100 --> 00:04:21,018
- RACHEL: Yeah. Hi.
- DAN: Hi. Wow.
89
00:04:21,019 --> 00:04:23,062
You look, um...
90
00:04:23,063 --> 00:04:24,939
- DAN: I should have called.
- RACHEL: Probably.
91
00:04:24,940 --> 00:04:26,774
Uh, Quinn and Chet's
car just hit the gate.
92
00:04:26,775 --> 00:04:28,234
They're coming in really hot right now.
93
00:04:28,235 --> 00:04:30,319
Okay, cool. So, you 5s
handle the welcome wagon.
94
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:31,737
This 10's got two shows to produce.
95
00:04:31,738 --> 00:04:34,990
5? I'm, like, a 7. Come on.
96
00:04:34,991 --> 00:04:37,535
- RACHEL: Here we go.
- DAN: Better get this.
97
00:04:37,536 --> 00:04:40,079
- DAN: Hi, Quinn. Welcome back.
- QUINN: Hi, Dan!
98
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,622
Welcome ashore!
99
00:04:41,623 --> 00:04:43,999
Holy shit!
100
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,751
What did you do to your hair?
101
00:04:45,752 --> 00:04:47,378
Uh, I got highlights.
102
00:04:47,379 --> 00:04:49,213
Wow. You look great.
103
00:04:49,214 --> 00:04:52,216
You look like a...
104
00:04:52,217 --> 00:04:53,634
- a woman.
- [LAUGHS]
105
00:04:53,635 --> 00:04:55,511
For like an hour, I've
had to the bathroom.
106
00:04:55,512 --> 00:04:57,555
I got to drain the main vein. Excuse me.
107
00:04:57,556 --> 00:04:59,056
[QUINN LAUGHS]
108
00:04:59,057 --> 00:05:01,016
�Hola! Rachel!
109
00:05:01,017 --> 00:05:02,643
Ah!
110
00:05:02,644 --> 00:05:05,938
Uh, why are the guys here so early?
111
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,815
Why the hell are we not shooting this?
112
00:05:07,816 --> 00:05:10,484
Uh, well, it was all in
the new season pitch pages
113
00:05:10,485 --> 00:05:13,279
that I e-�mailed you while you
were away and not responding.
114
00:05:13,280 --> 00:05:16,782
Wow! So, I'm back 30 seconds,
and you're already up my ass.
115
00:05:16,783 --> 00:05:19,702
Rachel. My little lamb chop.
116
00:05:19,703 --> 00:05:21,453
You look bellisima.
117
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:22,872
Oh, boy.
118
00:05:22,873 --> 00:05:24,290
You know this shit doesn't work with me.
119
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:25,958
Mmm.
120
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:27,710
- RODRIGO: Quinn.
- QUINN: Hi. How's it going?
121
00:05:27,711 --> 00:05:30,629
- RODRIGO: And the mansion of bullshit.
- QUINN: That's right.
122
00:05:30,630 --> 00:05:32,506
Ah, it's all starting to come back.
123
00:05:32,507 --> 00:05:33,799
I broke a lot of hearts here.
124
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:35,301
God forgive me.
125
00:05:35,302 --> 00:05:37,386
Kind of chose the wrong girl.
126
00:05:37,387 --> 00:05:38,554
What was I thinking?
127
00:05:38,555 --> 00:05:40,306
Okay, all right, all right.
128
00:05:40,307 --> 00:05:42,808
You guys want to get a room
or just go bang in the pool?
129
00:05:42,809 --> 00:05:44,894
It's heated.
130
00:05:44,895 --> 00:05:46,520
Dan. Dan.
131
00:05:46,521 --> 00:05:48,564
- DAN: Yeah.
- RACHEL: Can I introduce you to Rodrigo?
132
00:05:48,565 --> 00:05:49,857
- RODRIGO: Hola. �Como estas?
- RACHEL: There you go.
133
00:05:49,858 --> 00:05:51,692
- DAN: Hey.
- QUINN: Uh, Rachel?
134
00:05:51,693 --> 00:05:52,735
Yes.
135
00:05:52,736 --> 00:05:54,236
You brought back August?
136
00:05:54,237 --> 00:05:57,281
I told you that. Did
you open your e-�mails?
137
00:05:57,282 --> 00:05:59,283
Service was spotty. Okay?
138
00:05:59,284 --> 00:06:01,243
- Okay.
- I was on a giant ship.
139
00:06:01,244 --> 00:06:03,537
Okay, well, it's called
"Everlasting All-�Stars."
140
00:06:03,538 --> 00:06:06,874
And, yes, like it or not,
you boned an All-�Star.
141
00:06:06,875 --> 00:06:09,084
Wow! You're just gonna go there.
142
00:06:09,085 --> 00:06:12,630
Okay. All right. I'm gonna go
and, uh, check on Chet's vein.
143
00:06:12,631 --> 00:06:13,968
[CHUCKLES]
144
00:06:17,969 --> 00:06:19,887
- RACHEL: Hi, there, August.
- AUGUST: Rachel.
145
00:06:19,888 --> 00:06:21,889
Couldn't be a season of
"Everlasting All-�Stars"
146
00:06:21,890 --> 00:06:24,016
without you... I'm just saying.
147
00:06:24,017 --> 00:06:26,435
You should probably
save your imitation charm
148
00:06:26,436 --> 00:06:28,395
for someone who doesn't
know you as well as I do.
149
00:06:28,396 --> 00:06:29,855
- RACHEL: Oh!
- AUGUST: I mean, what, did you think
150
00:06:29,856 --> 00:06:31,565
I forgot the mountain of shit
151
00:06:31,566 --> 00:06:33,067
that you dumped on me last season?
152
00:06:33,068 --> 00:06:35,027
Well, I know how the game's played now,
153
00:06:35,028 --> 00:06:40,115
and with $1 million at
stake, I'm here to win.
154
00:06:40,116 --> 00:06:42,076
- See ya.
- [CAR DOOR CLOSES]
155
00:06:42,077 --> 00:06:44,244
Welcome, stunning single ladies,
156
00:06:44,245 --> 00:06:47,373
to the Wild, Wild West
version of "Everlasting"...
157
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:50,125
our very first "Everlasting All-�Stars,"
158
00:06:50,126 --> 00:06:52,002
where couples will pair up each week,
159
00:06:52,003 --> 00:06:55,673
and it'll be you, America,
that'll cast your final vote.
160
00:06:55,674 --> 00:06:57,466
I got to tell you, it
won't be easy getting there,
161
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:59,426
because we will have
an Elimination Ceremony
162
00:06:59,427 --> 00:07:03,681
in each episode and a
wild, wild challenge.
163
00:07:03,682 --> 00:07:05,224
Are we ready for our first
challenge of the season?
164
00:07:05,225 --> 00:07:06,850
Seriously?
165
00:07:06,851 --> 00:07:08,977
I mean, challenge shows
are like the hairy armpit
166
00:07:08,978 --> 00:07:10,729
of reality television.
167
00:07:10,730 --> 00:07:12,898
- [DOOR CLOSES]
- TOMMY: Rachel said you weren't a fan,
168
00:07:12,899 --> 00:07:16,068
but with the kick-�ass ratings
we're about to bring in,
169
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,778
I bet I can change your mind.
170
00:07:17,779 --> 00:07:20,447
Oh, look... another man who
thinks he knows what I want.
171
00:07:20,448 --> 00:07:22,032
This ought to be good.
172
00:07:22,033 --> 00:07:25,202
Tommy Castelli. Real excited
to show you what we got.
173
00:07:25,203 --> 00:07:26,995
RACHEL: Tommy's the new
producer and game designer
174
00:07:26,996 --> 00:07:28,372
I e-�mailed you about, Quinn.
175
00:07:28,373 --> 00:07:29,748
Hi... Tommy.
176
00:07:29,749 --> 00:07:31,458
I finally get to meet the woman
177
00:07:31,459 --> 00:07:34,920
who took every little girl's
fear of being alone and...
178
00:07:34,921 --> 00:07:37,339
and turned it into a
billion-�dollar empire.
179
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:41,135
You built this show on sweat and tears.
180
00:07:41,136 --> 00:07:43,011
Let me add a little blood. You'll see.
181
00:07:43,012 --> 00:07:44,847
All right, ladies, are you ready?
182
00:07:44,848 --> 00:07:46,306
- [CHEERING]
- Excellent.
183
00:07:46,307 --> 00:07:47,975
Okay, all you have to do, ladies,
184
00:07:47,976 --> 00:07:50,060
is walk over this Bridge of Love
185
00:07:50,061 --> 00:07:52,229
to our wonderful Cocktail
Party of Lubrication.
186
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,231
QUINN: Yeah, all they have
to do is walk across a bridge?
187
00:07:54,232 --> 00:07:55,983
I know these girls are stupid, but...
188
00:07:55,984 --> 00:07:58,610
Okay, well, that's not
what this is. Trust us.
189
00:07:58,611 --> 00:08:00,612
Pause, have yourself a twirl,
190
00:08:00,613 --> 00:08:03,365
show our studs how sizzling you are...
191
00:08:03,366 --> 00:08:06,201
Why are they dressed
like "50 Shades" rejects?
192
00:08:06,202 --> 00:08:08,746
Do you want to just call "Cut"
and I can explain it all to you?
193
00:08:08,747 --> 00:08:11,290
I mean, we can maybe do a
little show-�and-�tell, or...
194
00:08:11,291 --> 00:08:13,709
I don't know, maybe we should
just find those e-�mails.
195
00:08:13,710 --> 00:08:15,627
Ooh! Attitude!
196
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:18,130
Okay, first up is Maya,
197
00:08:18,131 --> 00:08:20,716
who's our steamy
sommelier from Season 13.
198
00:08:20,717 --> 00:08:22,593
Maya? You think she's an All-�Star?
199
00:08:22,594 --> 00:08:25,262
After what happened with her
and Adam's douchebag friend?
200
00:08:25,263 --> 00:08:27,681
I think Maya can become an All-�Star.
201
00:08:27,682 --> 00:08:29,725
[CHUCKLES] Very nice.
202
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:31,518
What is with all the tablets?
203
00:08:31,519 --> 00:08:32,728
- RACHEL: Well, Quinn...
- QUINN: You know what?
204
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,480
If you say "e-�mails" one more time,
205
00:08:34,481 --> 00:08:36,482
I'm gonna shove his shit
board down your throat.
206
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:38,400
Good job, Maya. [CLAPS]
207
00:08:38,401 --> 00:08:41,737
Gentlemen, next up is
Naomi, who came to us
208
00:08:41,738 --> 00:08:44,364
from Amish Country back
in Season 12, gentlemen.
209
00:08:44,365 --> 00:08:46,575
Ugh. Finally, something I recognize...
210
00:08:46,576 --> 00:08:48,994
Amish sluts are story gold.
211
00:08:48,995 --> 00:08:50,329
- [CLICK]
- [SCREAMS] Whoa!
212
00:08:50,330 --> 00:08:52,247
What the hell was that?!
213
00:08:52,248 --> 00:08:53,624
Just keep watching.
214
00:08:53,625 --> 00:08:55,626
- Oh, my God.
- Naomi, you okay?
215
00:08:55,627 --> 00:08:57,461
Not Amish Country, is it?
216
00:08:57,462 --> 00:09:00,005
- [CONTESTANTS MURMURING]
- Thankfully, you can swim.
217
00:09:00,006 --> 00:09:01,882
All right. Wow.
218
00:09:01,883 --> 00:09:05,552
Ladies, welcome to "Hump or Dump."
219
00:09:05,553 --> 00:09:07,763
Our gentlemen will obviously vote "Hump"
220
00:09:07,764 --> 00:09:10,516
if they see a potential
relationship with you
221
00:09:10,517 --> 00:09:12,976
and "Dump," well, we've
all been there before...
222
00:09:12,977 --> 00:09:14,561
- some more than others.
- That's the challenge?
223
00:09:14,562 --> 00:09:17,022
Women walk across a bridge
to get judged by their looks?
224
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:19,191
- Exactly.
- Next up is Noelle!
225
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:21,443
I'm sorry. Where is the story?
Where are the interviews?
226
00:09:21,444 --> 00:09:23,362
I don't even know what's
happening on my own show.
227
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:26,031
Okay, well, you told me to
take care of it, and I did.
228
00:09:26,032 --> 00:09:28,659
Tommy and I, we are taking
your show to the next level.
229
00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:29,660
Take a look.
230
00:09:29,661 --> 00:09:32,162
Okay, next up... Teresa!
231
00:09:32,163 --> 00:09:33,247
See how you did.
232
00:09:33,248 --> 00:09:35,791
- [CLICK]
- Oh! Ooh!
233
00:09:35,792 --> 00:09:37,918
[LAUGHING] Ohh!
234
00:09:37,919 --> 00:09:39,086
Teresa!
235
00:09:39,087 --> 00:09:40,420
How are you down there?
236
00:09:40,421 --> 00:09:42,089
- Bonita!
- [CLICK]
237
00:09:42,090 --> 00:09:43,382
Lovely Skye.
238
00:09:43,383 --> 00:09:45,884
Oh, yes. Congratulations.
239
00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:46,969
This is Kennedy, everybody.
240
00:09:46,970 --> 00:09:48,220
Twirl.
241
00:09:48,221 --> 00:09:50,097
- [CLICK]
- [LAUGHTER]
242
00:09:50,098 --> 00:09:52,015
- Down goes Kennedy!
- [CLICK, SPLASH]
243
00:09:52,016 --> 00:09:53,851
- Ooh! Another ones bites...
- [CLICK]
244
00:09:53,852 --> 00:09:54,853
- ... the dust.
- [CLICK]
245
00:09:57,313 --> 00:09:58,981
Is that sewage?
246
00:09:58,982 --> 00:10:01,400
It's competition mud... mixed with tar.
247
00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,943
Circuses use it all the time.
248
00:10:02,944 --> 00:10:05,237
Okay, there's one
chance to still survive.
249
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,531
All you got to do is swim to shore,
250
00:10:07,532 --> 00:10:10,993
and whoever is first
will be un-�dumped, okay?
251
00:10:10,994 --> 00:10:12,327
Ready?
252
00:10:12,328 --> 00:10:15,289
3... 2... 1.
253
00:10:15,290 --> 00:10:16,707
Swim! Go!
254
00:10:16,708 --> 00:10:18,083
[CHEERING]
255
00:10:18,084 --> 00:10:20,586
Go! Go! Go! Go!
256
00:10:20,587 --> 00:10:23,046
[INDISTINCT SHOUTING]
257
00:10:23,047 --> 00:10:24,173
Aah!
258
00:10:24,174 --> 00:10:25,340
Whoo!
259
00:10:25,341 --> 00:10:27,759
[SHOUTING CONTINUES]
260
00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:29,803
[CHEERING]
261
00:10:29,804 --> 00:10:31,263
Good work! Nice work!
262
00:10:31,264 --> 00:10:32,890
[CHEERING]
263
00:10:32,891 --> 00:10:34,975
She had some fire in her. [LAUGHS]
264
00:10:34,976 --> 00:10:36,727
RACHEL: See? Instead of one woman
265
00:10:36,728 --> 00:10:38,270
freaking out by the end of the episode,
266
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,230
I have nine before the
first commercial break.
267
00:10:40,231 --> 00:10:45,402
This is the most sexist,
misogynistic bullshit
268
00:10:45,403 --> 00:10:47,071
we have ever done.
269
00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:52,576
[LAUGHING] And I love it.
270
00:10:52,577 --> 00:10:54,494
It's so dark!
271
00:10:54,495 --> 00:10:56,830
It's so demented!
272
00:10:56,831 --> 00:10:59,833
It's like... I'm scared,
I'm disgusted, I'm turned on.
273
00:10:59,834 --> 00:11:01,585
What do I do? [LAUGHS]
274
00:11:01,586 --> 00:11:04,004
So I guess the hair is not
the only thing that's new.
275
00:11:04,005 --> 00:11:05,464
And you have nothing,
276
00:11:05,465 --> 00:11:08,217
not even a trace of
feminist guilt... nowhere.
277
00:11:08,218 --> 00:11:10,677
I just got tired of hearing myself talk.
278
00:11:10,678 --> 00:11:12,429
You know, I thought a
lot about what you said.
279
00:11:12,430 --> 00:11:14,223
It's the reason I came back here.
280
00:11:14,224 --> 00:11:16,058
I don't know. I'm all-�in, Quinn.
281
00:11:16,059 --> 00:11:18,393
I am "Everlasting."
282
00:11:20,712 --> 00:11:22,235
Boom!
283
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,741
That "Hump or Dump" was barbaric.
284
00:11:32,742 --> 00:11:34,701
I think Cindy actually
dislocated her shoulder.
285
00:11:34,702 --> 00:11:36,286
It was hanging off her.
286
00:11:36,287 --> 00:11:38,747
Screw Cindy. I hope they have
to cut the whole thing off.
287
00:11:38,748 --> 00:11:40,207
That's Sofia?
288
00:11:40,208 --> 00:11:41,458
Was it too much?
289
00:11:41,459 --> 00:11:43,210
Nope. That was perfect.
290
00:11:43,211 --> 00:11:46,171
Wasn't she our nauseatingly
sweet kindergarten teacher?
291
00:11:46,172 --> 00:11:47,923
Turned aspiring bitch.
292
00:11:47,924 --> 00:11:50,092
She learned a thing or two
on the promotional circuit.
293
00:11:50,093 --> 00:11:52,177
Smart girl. Move.
294
00:11:52,178 --> 00:11:55,889
Hey. Madison works at
the network now. Be nice.
295
00:11:55,890 --> 00:11:57,349
[MUSIC PLAYS]
296
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,351
GRAHAM: Lovely lady All-�Stars.
297
00:11:59,352 --> 00:12:01,520
It's nice to see you've all survived
298
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:03,981
your traumatic challenge.
299
00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:06,108
Some, of course, more
gracefully than others.
300
00:12:06,109 --> 00:12:08,443
But the power has shifted,
'cause it's Ladies' Choice
301
00:12:08,444 --> 00:12:10,195
tonight in the Elimination Ceremony,
302
00:12:10,196 --> 00:12:12,114
and I ask you ladies
if you're interested
303
00:12:12,115 --> 00:12:14,658
in getting to know and
meet your All-�Star suitors,
304
00:12:14,659 --> 00:12:18,537
whose "Everlasting" lives are
in the palms of your hands.
305
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,289
[CHEERING]
306
00:12:20,290 --> 00:12:22,874
Ooh! I can't wait!
307
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,960
Let's see what you got, Rachel.
308
00:12:24,961 --> 00:12:27,337
It feels like Christmas. Here we go.
309
00:12:27,338 --> 00:12:29,756
First up is Rodrigo!
310
00:12:29,757 --> 00:12:32,551
Rodrigo is an international soccer star
311
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:34,136
who was with us on Season 10,
312
00:12:34,137 --> 00:12:35,846
and when he takes that mask off...
313
00:12:35,847 --> 00:12:37,306
There ya go!
314
00:12:37,307 --> 00:12:39,433
Look at that face...
and the body to match.
315
00:12:39,434 --> 00:12:42,269
Welcome. Rodrigo, ladies and gentlemen.
316
00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:44,354
Noelle, if my memory serves me right,
317
00:12:44,355 --> 00:12:46,440
you guys had quite a fevered history.
318
00:12:46,441 --> 00:12:49,318
- Oh, yes, they did.
- 'Cause you were runner-�up that season, right?
319
00:12:49,319 --> 00:12:51,278
Looking forward to
what happens this year.
320
00:12:51,279 --> 00:12:55,782
Next up is Dr. Jack from
Season 5 and Season 8...
321
00:12:55,783 --> 00:12:57,993
QUINN: Ugh. Sweetheart Jack.
322
00:12:57,994 --> 00:12:59,953
Everybody loves that
guy. I mean, I get it.
323
00:12:59,954 --> 00:13:01,538
Fine, he's hot.
324
00:13:01,539 --> 00:13:03,415
I just want to, like,
choke the nice out of him.
325
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,292
All right, easy. Watch this.
326
00:13:05,293 --> 00:13:07,461
Uh, Camera B, can we
go tight on Maya now?
327
00:13:07,462 --> 00:13:09,004
Next up... English financier
328
00:13:09,005 --> 00:13:10,589
who came to us in Season 13, ladies,
329
00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:12,299
but not as a contestant,
330
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:15,218
but as the best mate for
our suitor that year.
331
00:13:15,219 --> 00:13:17,846
Welcome back, Roger.
Good to have you here.
332
00:13:17,847 --> 00:13:20,515
Holy crap.
333
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:22,309
That's why you brought Maya back.
334
00:13:22,310 --> 00:13:24,102
It's a great story that
we should have leaned into,
335
00:13:24,103 --> 00:13:25,354
but I totally pussied out.
336
00:13:25,355 --> 00:13:27,147
Seriously, Rachel?
337
00:13:27,148 --> 00:13:29,441
Did the chemicals from the
highlights leak into your soul?
338
00:13:29,442 --> 00:13:31,485
He full-�on frat-�boy-�date-�raped her.
339
00:13:31,486 --> 00:13:33,820
MADISON: This is exactly
what I wanted to talk about.
340
00:13:33,821 --> 00:13:35,822
Are we really gonna use the "R" word?
341
00:13:35,823 --> 00:13:39,534
It's called rape, Madison. Just say it.
342
00:13:39,535 --> 00:13:44,498
The network isn't comfortable
with the... "R" of it all.
343
00:13:44,499 --> 00:13:46,708
I... �I mean... if they knew...
344
00:13:46,709 --> 00:13:48,960
which they don't, and
I won't say anything.
345
00:13:48,961 --> 00:13:50,880
Oh. Well, good for you, Madison.
346
00:13:52,340 --> 00:13:53,799
There's no footage of
what happened, right?
347
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,342
So there's no reason to
go back to that story.
348
00:13:55,343 --> 00:13:58,053
And, Rachel, you of
all people obviously are
349
00:13:58,054 --> 00:14:01,014
not gonna be going into
this this season, right?
350
00:14:01,015 --> 00:14:02,390
Rachel?
351
00:14:02,391 --> 00:14:05,227
[APPLAUSE]
352
00:14:05,228 --> 00:14:07,896
Hey. Long time, no see. How you doing?
353
00:14:07,897 --> 00:14:11,149
I'm sorry. I can't do this.
354
00:14:11,150 --> 00:14:14,444
-� We got a runner.
-� Oh. I'm on it.
355
00:14:14,445 --> 00:14:16,780
- SOFIA: What's her problem?
- ROGER: W... we, uh...
356
00:14:16,781 --> 00:14:18,782
We kind of hooked up
when I was on the show.
357
00:14:18,783 --> 00:14:20,408
- ROGER: We were both hammered.
- SOFIA: Oh.
358
00:14:20,409 --> 00:14:22,452
She's probably just pissed
off 'cause I never called her.
359
00:14:22,453 --> 00:14:25,122
That's what he's saying
happened? This is crazy.
360
00:14:25,123 --> 00:14:26,623
I know.
361
00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:28,375
But, uh, you know, I
think she's amazing.
362
00:14:28,376 --> 00:14:31,753
Hey, Madison, I totally hear
ya, and I'll keep an eye on it.
363
00:14:31,754 --> 00:14:32,921
I promise.
364
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:35,048
- MADISON: Thank you.
- TOMMY: Yeah. And listen.
365
00:14:35,049 --> 00:14:37,759
I got to see a sneak cut
of "Hashtag Adulting."
366
00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,512
It's... groundbreaking.
367
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:42,806
"Friends" meets "Real Housewives."
368
00:14:42,807 --> 00:14:44,850
Right? Nobody gets it.
369
00:14:44,851 --> 00:14:45,851
Thank you.
370
00:14:45,852 --> 00:14:47,478
[CHUCKLES]
371
00:14:50,523 --> 00:14:53,441
Hey, uh, Chris, turn
Maya's mic up. Turn it up.
372
00:14:53,442 --> 00:14:55,986
MAYA: What were you thinking, to
just spring him on me like that?!
373
00:14:55,987 --> 00:14:57,654
RACHEL: Look, I understand
why you're upset,
374
00:14:57,655 --> 00:14:59,072
but if I told you ahead of time,
375
00:14:59,073 --> 00:15:00,365
you never would have shown up here.
376
00:15:00,366 --> 00:15:01,908
MAYA: Of course not!
377
00:15:01,909 --> 00:15:03,952
Look, your life's been on
hold since you left here.
378
00:15:03,953 --> 00:15:05,954
You lost your job, you've
moved in with your mom...
379
00:15:05,955 --> 00:15:08,748
Yeah, and you told me
it was all gonna change
380
00:15:08,749 --> 00:15:10,125
once I got here,
381
00:15:10,126 --> 00:15:11,668
that I would meet a
man who would love me,
382
00:15:11,669 --> 00:15:13,670
that I would get
everything that I deserve.
383
00:15:13,671 --> 00:15:15,922
Not until you face the
man who assaulted you.
384
00:15:15,923 --> 00:15:17,465
You need to get your power back
385
00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:19,551
and expose him for who he really is.
386
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:22,054
You have no idea what I've been through.
387
00:15:24,348 --> 00:15:26,434
I know exactly what you've been through.
388
00:15:28,394 --> 00:15:31,521
Except I was 12 when it happened.
389
00:15:31,522 --> 00:15:33,607
So, look, I know how important it is
390
00:15:33,608 --> 00:15:35,693
to pull yourself out of that hole.
391
00:15:37,069 --> 00:15:40,572
And I really believe that you can do it.
392
00:15:40,573 --> 00:15:42,617
I'll be with you every step of the way.
393
00:15:45,119 --> 00:15:48,538
I am not gonna let that
son of a bitch near you.
394
00:15:48,539 --> 00:15:50,540
[DOOR OPENS]
395
00:15:54,962 --> 00:15:57,380
... one drink? Just, like...
396
00:16:00,885 --> 00:16:02,886
Nice work. You called it.
397
00:16:02,887 --> 00:16:06,389
You got her to stay
after, what, five minutes?
398
00:16:06,390 --> 00:16:08,975
- She really trusts you.
- Okay. Sounds great.
399
00:16:08,976 --> 00:16:12,604
I want Roger and Maya locked
in a room together by episode 4.
400
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:13,772
- JAY: What?
- MADISON: Rachel!
401
00:16:13,773 --> 00:16:15,732
Fasten your seat belt, Maddy.
402
00:16:15,733 --> 00:16:17,651
It's gonna be a bumpy ride.
403
00:16:30,039 --> 00:16:31,748
- BARTENDER: Vodka rocks?
- QUINN: Ahh.
404
00:16:31,749 --> 00:16:34,376
Actually, do you know
how to make a mai tai?
405
00:16:34,377 --> 00:16:35,752
Of course.
406
00:16:35,753 --> 00:16:37,963
Oh, well, you got to go
the full Trader Vic's.
407
00:16:37,964 --> 00:16:39,631
Add a dash of orgeat.
408
00:16:39,632 --> 00:16:42,550
I can make you a batch if you
got any almonds in this joint.
409
00:16:42,551 --> 00:16:44,511
So, I see you have come back
410
00:16:44,512 --> 00:16:46,721
to whore yourself out
for another season.
411
00:16:46,722 --> 00:16:48,348
Look, I'm here for my brand.
412
00:16:48,349 --> 00:16:49,933
My hammock company,
it's really taking off.
413
00:16:49,934 --> 00:16:51,476
Right. Right.
414
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,019
Yeah, I'm sure you are
giving all your profits
415
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:55,397
to some aboriginal tribe.
416
00:16:55,398 --> 00:16:57,232
Do they have Venmo in the Outback?
417
00:16:57,233 --> 00:17:00,277
[CHUCKLES] No, not
really, Quinn. Listen.
418
00:17:00,278 --> 00:17:02,320
Look, I'm a professional, and
you're a professional.
419
00:17:02,321 --> 00:17:05,240
- QUINN [CHUCKLES]: Yes.
- AUGUST: Let's just do our jobs.
420
00:17:05,241 --> 00:17:07,117
Deal.
421
00:17:07,118 --> 00:17:08,286
Okay.
422
00:17:09,787 --> 00:17:11,496
Oh, and, Quinn?
423
00:17:11,497 --> 00:17:13,498
Try and keep your pussy in your pants.
424
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:15,083
Wow! Wow!
425
00:17:15,084 --> 00:17:18,878
Why don't you keep your
dick in your pants?
426
00:17:18,879 --> 00:17:20,880
Don't tell me what to do with my pussy.
427
00:17:20,881 --> 00:17:23,008
- BARTENDER [CHUCKLES]: We missed you.
- QUINN: Ugh.
428
00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:27,053
[FIONA LAUGHS]
Oh, my God! Rachel!
429
00:17:27,054 --> 00:17:29,180
You look like a Barbie Doll.
430
00:17:29,181 --> 00:17:31,892
[SIGHS] Vacation's over.
431
00:17:34,312 --> 00:17:35,937
Ah, Fiona!
432
00:17:35,938 --> 00:17:38,815
I, uh... I had no idea you were here.
433
00:17:38,816 --> 00:17:40,984
Yes. Welcome back, Quinn.
434
00:17:40,985 --> 00:17:42,152
Nice tan.
435
00:17:42,153 --> 00:17:43,737
- Uh, thank you.
- Mm-�hmm.
436
00:17:43,738 --> 00:17:46,948
We're having a great start tonight.
437
00:17:46,949 --> 00:17:48,742
We did this whole "Hump or Dump" thing,
438
00:17:48,743 --> 00:17:50,619
and I think you're really gonna love it.
439
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:52,579
Yeah. Yeah, I did love it
440
00:17:52,580 --> 00:17:55,040
when Rachel and Tommy
pitched it to me last month,
441
00:17:55,041 --> 00:17:56,625
along with all the other challenges
442
00:17:56,626 --> 00:17:58,168
they have planned for the season.
443
00:17:58,169 --> 00:18:00,295
Right. Great.
444
00:18:00,296 --> 00:18:02,297
I wouldn't have agreed
to this new format
445
00:18:02,298 --> 00:18:04,966
or added a million dollars to the budget
446
00:18:04,967 --> 00:18:07,719
for that grand prize otherwise.
447
00:18:07,720 --> 00:18:09,262
Of course. [CHUCKLES]
448
00:18:09,263 --> 00:18:11,806
I mean, it's lowest common
denominator, base shit,
449
00:18:11,807 --> 00:18:14,477
but it'll play like
gangbusters in your demo.
450
00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:18,688
Can we talk? Alone?
451
00:18:22,485 --> 00:18:25,320
FIONA: Uh [SCOFFS] what
the hell is happening here?
452
00:18:25,321 --> 00:18:29,532
[LAUGHS] Chet is making
a "throne room" for us.
453
00:18:29,533 --> 00:18:31,534
[CHUCKLES]
454
00:18:31,535 --> 00:18:34,162
All right. That sounded
more normal on the yacht.
455
00:18:34,163 --> 00:18:35,830
I'll bet.
456
00:18:35,831 --> 00:18:38,792
- QUINN: Listen, I know that I have been out of town.
- FIONA: Mm-�hmm.
457
00:18:38,793 --> 00:18:43,088
But I have had my fingers
in this the whole time.
458
00:18:43,089 --> 00:18:46,132
[CHUCKLES] I don't think you have.
459
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:48,968
And that's fine. You know, I get it.
460
00:18:48,969 --> 00:18:50,553
You're back with Chet,
461
00:18:50,554 --> 00:18:53,890
and he has a... different
way of doing things.
462
00:18:53,891 --> 00:18:55,558
- [CHUCKLES]
- Cash the checks,
463
00:18:55,559 --> 00:18:57,811
let other people do the heavy lifting.
464
00:18:57,812 --> 00:19:01,731
Okay. [CHUCKLES] But you
know that's not who I am.
465
00:19:01,732 --> 00:19:03,233
I'm not like that.
466
00:19:03,234 --> 00:19:05,985
It's not who you were.
467
00:19:05,986 --> 00:19:08,697
Well, maybe it's time to let the
next generation take the wheel.
468
00:19:08,698 --> 00:19:11,574
Go have a life. Enjoy.
469
00:19:11,575 --> 00:19:13,911
We can reduce you to
consulting producer.
470
00:19:15,955 --> 00:19:17,038
[SCOFFS]
471
00:19:17,039 --> 00:19:20,875
Oh, I... am not done.
472
00:19:20,876 --> 00:19:22,919
Chet and I have tons of ideas.
473
00:19:22,920 --> 00:19:25,630
We were actually working on that boat.
474
00:19:25,631 --> 00:19:28,049
Designing a throne room.
475
00:19:28,050 --> 00:19:30,844
No. No.
476
00:19:30,845 --> 00:19:32,054
You'll see.
477
00:19:33,806 --> 00:19:36,725
I know exactly how to take
things to the next level.
478
00:19:36,726 --> 00:19:37,851
[CHUCKLES]
479
00:19:37,852 --> 00:19:39,602
Good.
480
00:19:39,603 --> 00:19:42,480
'Cause that million-�dollar prize
has got to come from somewhere,
481
00:19:42,481 --> 00:19:44,858
and you ain't cheap.
482
00:19:44,859 --> 00:19:48,528
So either drive this boat
or get the hell off it.
483
00:19:56,287 --> 00:19:58,705
Okay, so, we good? Are we rolling?
484
00:19:58,706 --> 00:20:00,582
I'm really excited to meet you, Jack.
485
00:20:00,583 --> 00:20:01,750
Both your seasons
486
00:20:01,751 --> 00:20:03,293
were before my time, but, I mean,
487
00:20:03,294 --> 00:20:04,878
I obviously know who you are.
488
00:20:04,879 --> 00:20:06,713
You're kind of... I mean,
you're kind of famous.
489
00:20:06,714 --> 00:20:09,340
You're kind of like a big deal
in the "Everlasting" universe.
490
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:11,843
- Hoping third time's the charm.
- [LAUGHS]
491
00:20:11,844 --> 00:20:13,887
MAN: Rolling.
492
00:20:13,888 --> 00:20:16,931
TOMMY: I got to say, Noelle, it's
kind of blowing my mind to meet you.
493
00:20:16,932 --> 00:20:19,476
My friends and I were obsessed
with you last time you were on.
494
00:20:19,477 --> 00:20:22,437
Oh! That's very sweet
of you and your friends.
495
00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:27,358
But is it... is it rough being back?
496
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:28,651
How do you feel?
497
00:20:28,652 --> 00:20:30,153
I mean, let's just say it as it is.
498
00:20:30,154 --> 00:20:34,115
Rodrigo rejected you
on national television
499
00:20:34,116 --> 00:20:35,533
in front of the whole country.
500
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,328
- TOMMY: How does that feel?
- NOELLE: Rodrigo made another choice,
501
00:20:38,329 --> 00:20:40,288
but he and Stephanie
are no longer together,
502
00:20:40,289 --> 00:20:42,457
so we'll see what happens.
503
00:20:42,458 --> 00:20:45,293
You want to know who I think
would be really great for you?
504
00:20:45,294 --> 00:20:47,879
- Naomi.
- [LAUGHS]
505
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:49,589
The Amish girl?
506
00:20:49,590 --> 00:20:51,549
Isn't she here as a joke?
507
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:52,967
Everyone was rooting for you.
508
00:20:52,968 --> 00:20:54,803
I mean, we all thought you were the one.
509
00:20:54,804 --> 00:20:56,387
You seemed so confident.
510
00:20:56,388 --> 00:20:59,140
I was confident, Tommy. And I still am.
511
00:20:59,141 --> 00:21:02,477
I just... I just have to be
the best version of myself
512
00:21:02,478 --> 00:21:05,396
and only focus on the
things I can control.
513
00:21:05,397 --> 00:21:06,773
Can I tell you something?
514
00:21:06,774 --> 00:21:08,525
It's, like, kind of personal, okay?
515
00:21:08,526 --> 00:21:10,360
Sure.
516
00:21:10,361 --> 00:21:12,862
You are the reason that
I worked on this show.
517
00:21:12,863 --> 00:21:15,240
- JACK [LAUGHS]: Yeah, right. Come on.
- RACHEL: Now, don't laugh!
518
00:21:15,241 --> 00:21:17,158
I started watching. I was a fan, right?
519
00:21:17,159 --> 00:21:18,701
And I just remember watching the show
520
00:21:18,702 --> 00:21:20,119
and looking at you and wondering
521
00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:23,748
if I would ever meet
anybody as wonderful as you.
522
00:21:23,749 --> 00:21:26,000
I mean, you save babies, so...
523
00:21:26,001 --> 00:21:27,252
I'm a pediatrician.
524
00:21:27,253 --> 00:21:30,129
Exactly. You're Sweetheart Jack.
525
00:21:30,130 --> 00:21:31,923
I do kind of feel bad for Naomi.
526
00:21:31,924 --> 00:21:34,926
See? America's gonna
love you. I promise.
527
00:21:34,927 --> 00:21:38,388
I mean, the fear of another
humiliating rejection
528
00:21:38,389 --> 00:21:40,223
could just ruin you.
529
00:21:40,224 --> 00:21:42,392
- NOELLE: I don't let my mind go there.
- TOMMY: You don't let it go where?
530
00:21:42,393 --> 00:21:44,519
To that one moment when
you thought all your dreams
531
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,229
were about to come true?
532
00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:47,981
You were so close, and then...
533
00:21:47,982 --> 00:21:50,775
And then I was blindsided! Okay?
534
00:21:50,776 --> 00:21:52,986
A bumbling mess, trapped
in the back of a limo
535
00:21:52,987 --> 00:21:54,696
doing the loser interview.
536
00:21:54,697 --> 00:21:57,490
But I'm sure as shit not
gonna let that happen again.
537
00:21:57,491 --> 00:21:59,325
Rodrigo is mine,
538
00:21:59,326 --> 00:22:02,495
and I'm not gonna let any one
of these girls get in my way.
539
00:22:12,840 --> 00:22:14,841
Ladies and gentlemen,
540
00:22:14,842 --> 00:22:16,509
we're gonna begin our
Elimination Ceremony.
541
00:22:16,510 --> 00:22:18,386
We'll be doing touch-�ups
out on the amphitheater, so...
542
00:22:18,387 --> 00:22:20,305
No, we're... we're not making our picks
543
00:22:20,306 --> 00:22:22,432
until we check out
the merchandise fully.
544
00:22:22,433 --> 00:22:24,475
Okay, well, I definitely get that.
545
00:22:24,476 --> 00:22:26,728
The boys got to judge a
friggin' chick parade earlier,
546
00:22:26,729 --> 00:22:31,149
so now the chicks want
to see the cocks walk.
547
00:22:31,150 --> 00:22:33,401
And this is the problem, Goldberg.
548
00:22:33,402 --> 00:22:35,320
These All-�Stars think
they can produce themselves.
549
00:22:35,321 --> 00:22:39,574
Oh, come on. Rodrigo will
show his beautiful merchandise.
550
00:22:39,575 --> 00:22:40,867
- [CHEERING]
- Let's go
551
00:22:40,868 --> 00:22:42,285
RODRIGO: Huh, ladies?
552
00:22:42,286 --> 00:22:45,455
Pueden mirar y tocar.
553
00:22:45,456 --> 00:22:46,497
WOMAN: Yeah!
554
00:22:46,498 --> 00:22:48,917
Hump? Hump? Hump? Hump? Hump?
555
00:22:48,918 --> 00:22:50,919
WOMEN: Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump!
556
00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:53,713
All right, ladies. Rodrigo's
had enough fun over there.
557
00:22:53,714 --> 00:22:55,423
How about I give you a
little peek of these goods
558
00:22:55,424 --> 00:22:57,592
- from Down Under?
- WOMAN: Oh, yeah, baby!
559
00:22:57,593 --> 00:22:59,427
Yeah!
560
00:22:59,428 --> 00:23:01,304
ROGER: No, no. Nice try, mate.
561
00:23:01,305 --> 00:23:04,098
All right, ladies, you want
to see something impressive?
562
00:23:04,099 --> 00:23:05,642
For Her Majesty, the Queen!
563
00:23:05,643 --> 00:23:06,976
[CHEERING]
564
00:23:06,977 --> 00:23:08,436
Where you at? Who you with?
565
00:23:08,437 --> 00:23:10,980
And where you from? Let's go!
566
00:23:10,981 --> 00:23:12,857
He is the last person on this show
567
00:23:12,858 --> 00:23:14,233
who should be taking off his clothes.
568
00:23:14,234 --> 00:23:16,653
I know. Just try to relax. Have a drink.
569
00:23:16,654 --> 00:23:19,155
It's gonna be fine. It's gonna be fine.
570
00:23:19,156 --> 00:23:20,740
[CHEERING] Don't stop
571
00:23:20,741 --> 00:23:21,991
WOMEN: Hump! Hump!
572
00:23:21,992 --> 00:23:23,284
Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump!
573
00:23:23,285 --> 00:23:25,244
Put your balls back in your pants.
574
00:23:25,245 --> 00:23:26,788
Holy shit.
575
00:23:26,789 --> 00:23:28,706
Great news, everyone!
576
00:23:28,707 --> 00:23:34,128
Alexi and Candi are joining
the show, effective now.
577
00:23:34,129 --> 00:23:36,089
[LAUGHING] Oh, my God!
578
00:23:36,090 --> 00:23:37,715
How much did you guys
shell out for this place?
579
00:23:37,716 --> 00:23:40,677
In Miami, this would
cost like $15 mil, easy,
580
00:23:40,678 --> 00:23:43,513
but the humidity makes you
want to strangle yourself.
581
00:23:43,514 --> 00:23:44,889
Who are you?
582
00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:46,224
Candi.
583
00:23:46,225 --> 00:23:50,061
Jay. This is so important
to see you again.
584
00:23:50,062 --> 00:23:52,146
August! My brother!
585
00:23:52,147 --> 00:23:54,857
Oh, my God.
586
00:23:54,858 --> 00:23:57,360
Alexi's supposed to be in
rehab for another 12 days
587
00:23:57,361 --> 00:23:59,237
and then start filming
"Passport to Dance."
588
00:23:59,238 --> 00:24:01,030
And yet, here he is.
589
00:24:01,031 --> 00:24:02,615
Jay, this is good for us, okay?
590
00:24:02,616 --> 00:24:04,450
Cross-�promotion. Hello! All right?
591
00:24:04,451 --> 00:24:06,703
Get them into hair and
makeup. This is happening.
592
00:24:06,704 --> 00:24:08,204
All right, let me talk to her.
593
00:24:08,205 --> 00:24:11,541
- RACHEL: I don't want him here any more than you do.
- TOMMY: Hey, wait!
594
00:24:11,542 --> 00:24:14,544
CHET: Can you believe how
brilliant of my little queen
595
00:24:14,545 --> 00:24:17,755
to come up with these
two game-�changers?
596
00:24:17,756 --> 00:24:20,633
Oh, is that what you're
calling Candi's tits?
597
00:24:20,634 --> 00:24:22,260
I mean, like, who is she?
598
00:24:22,261 --> 00:24:25,138
She some 12-�step bimbo
that Alexi met in rehab,
599
00:24:25,139 --> 00:24:27,557
or is that what they're calling
sober buddies these days?
600
00:24:27,558 --> 00:24:30,184
Candi happens to be the
star of our new series,
601
00:24:30,185 --> 00:24:31,769
"Stripper Queens," okay?
602
00:24:31,770 --> 00:24:33,271
"Stripper Queens"?!
603
00:24:33,272 --> 00:24:35,606
Are you kidding me? That
stupid-�ass reality show
604
00:24:35,607 --> 00:24:38,067
that Chet's been trying
to get you to do for years?
605
00:24:38,068 --> 00:24:40,695
Well, he finally convinced
me, and he was right.
606
00:24:40,696 --> 00:24:44,157
Candi Coco is a single
working mom, Rachel.
607
00:24:44,158 --> 00:24:46,159
- QUINN: That's right up your alley.
- RACHEL: Oh, God!
608
00:24:46,160 --> 00:24:48,202
You've actually become Chet!
609
00:24:48,203 --> 00:24:50,747
[LAUGHS] I mean, you're dropping
these stupid-�sized bombs
610
00:24:50,748 --> 00:24:52,665
at the last second with no regard
611
00:24:52,666 --> 00:24:54,250
for how disruptive they'll be.
612
00:24:54,251 --> 00:24:55,710
Well, I certainly hope
they'll be disruptive.
613
00:24:55,711 --> 00:24:57,336
That's the whole point.
614
00:24:57,337 --> 00:24:59,839
CHET: See, we're revolutionaries.
That's how we roll.
615
00:24:59,840 --> 00:25:03,342
You're such an annoying human
being. I can't stand you!
616
00:25:03,343 --> 00:25:07,138
You guys cannot drop
this random stripper/mom
617
00:25:07,139 --> 00:25:09,557
into the middle of
"Everlasting All-�Stars."
618
00:25:09,558 --> 00:25:12,435
I mean, it's All-�Stars!
That's the whole point!
619
00:25:12,436 --> 00:25:13,644
You're right.
620
00:25:13,645 --> 00:25:15,605
We're gonna have to hide the ball
621
00:25:15,606 --> 00:25:17,774
- QUINN: on the whole stripper thing.
- CHET: Come up with a cover story.
622
00:25:17,775 --> 00:25:19,484
Yeah, we'll save the
big reveal for Sweeps.
623
00:25:19,485 --> 00:25:22,236
- CHET: Look at us, spitballing.
- RACHEL: I'm also talking about Alexi.
624
00:25:22,237 --> 00:25:23,988
I mean, the guy has his own show.
625
00:25:23,989 --> 00:25:25,656
He is not a part of this plan.
626
00:25:25,657 --> 00:25:27,366
Why not? He's delicious.
627
00:25:27,367 --> 00:25:28,951
You know that better than anyone.
628
00:25:28,952 --> 00:25:30,453
- CHET: Ooh-�ooh-�ooh!
- RACHEL: Oh, my God.
629
00:25:30,454 --> 00:25:32,330
TOMMY: Wait, Quinn, listen.
It's a numbers issue.
630
00:25:32,331 --> 00:25:35,041
Every challenge in Elimination
has been calibrated.
631
00:25:35,042 --> 00:25:37,710
You had two contestants,
you mess with the matrix.
632
00:25:37,711 --> 00:25:41,089
Oh! So it's a numbers issue?
633
00:25:41,090 --> 00:25:42,715
Why didn't you say so?
634
00:25:42,716 --> 00:25:44,425
All right, kids, let's go. We're up.
635
00:25:44,426 --> 00:25:45,968
- GRAHAM: Hello, America. Welcome...
- QUINN: All right, Graham.
636
00:25:45,969 --> 00:25:47,470
Stand down. Get off the stage.
637
00:25:47,471 --> 00:25:50,181
Good evening, All-�Stars!
You are in for a treat!
638
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:53,851
We have two slam-�dunk
first-�round picks
639
00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:57,230
who previously were
unavailable who are now here
640
00:25:57,231 --> 00:25:59,315
and ready to get in the game!
641
00:25:59,316 --> 00:26:03,861
I mean, who could forget Alexi,
one of last season's favorites,
642
00:26:03,862 --> 00:26:06,989
and not to mention the star of
the upcoming ratings juggernaut
643
00:26:06,990 --> 00:26:08,574
"Passport to Dance"?
644
00:26:08,575 --> 00:26:12,495
And I would like to
introduce you to Candi Coco,
645
00:26:12,496 --> 00:26:15,039
[LAUGHS] who is not an All-�Star,
646
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,375
but is a...
647
00:26:17,376 --> 00:26:22,338
residential... real
estate broker from Miami...
648
00:26:22,339 --> 00:26:23,798
[MURMURING]
649
00:26:23,799 --> 00:26:26,092
... who also happens to be
650
00:26:26,093 --> 00:26:29,470
the world's greatest
"Everlasting" superfan,
651
00:26:29,471 --> 00:26:32,682
which means she loves all
of you gorgeous people.
652
00:26:32,683 --> 00:26:34,684
But here's the deal...
653
00:26:34,685 --> 00:26:37,186
In order to make room
for these superstars,
654
00:26:37,187 --> 00:26:40,815
we're gonna have to
get rid of two of you.
655
00:26:40,816 --> 00:26:44,735
So... maybe, like, um... Daniel,
656
00:26:44,736 --> 00:26:47,780
who has an unfortunate history
with the Colorado police
657
00:26:47,781 --> 00:26:51,534
and something about a dog
and a jar of peanut butter.
658
00:26:51,535 --> 00:26:53,369
It was very messy, I heard.
659
00:26:53,370 --> 00:26:55,246
Can any of you really,
660
00:26:55,247 --> 00:26:57,373
honestly see yourself
ending up with that?
661
00:26:57,374 --> 00:26:59,542
Bye-�bye, doggy Daniel.
662
00:26:59,543 --> 00:27:00,751
That was easy.
663
00:27:00,752 --> 00:27:02,461
All right, great.
664
00:27:02,462 --> 00:27:05,631
And so what about, uh...
665
00:27:05,632 --> 00:27:07,008
Naomi.
666
00:27:07,009 --> 00:27:08,551
No. Please.
667
00:27:08,552 --> 00:27:10,887
Yeah, well, you guys
already dumped her once...
668
00:27:10,888 --> 00:27:13,181
literally... and that
was before you even knew
669
00:27:13,182 --> 00:27:16,058
that she technically passed her STD test
670
00:27:16,059 --> 00:27:18,853
but is still, curiously,
taking a shitload of antivirals.
671
00:27:18,854 --> 00:27:20,438
I mean, I'm not saying
that she has herpes,
672
00:27:20,439 --> 00:27:22,899
but I wouldn't screw her
with Graham's dick.
673
00:27:22,900 --> 00:27:25,192
- NAOMI: My parents are gonna kill me.
- QUINN: Well, tough break, okay?
674
00:27:25,193 --> 00:27:26,777
We'll bring the horse and buggy around.
675
00:27:26,778 --> 00:27:28,070
Dan, go get the horse.
676
00:27:28,071 --> 00:27:29,488
Is she always this savage?
677
00:27:29,489 --> 00:27:31,240
Only when she's awake.
678
00:27:31,241 --> 00:27:33,868
All right. Graham, get back
to the Elimination Ceremony.
679
00:27:33,869 --> 00:27:35,745
There are your numbers, Matrix.
680
00:27:35,746 --> 00:27:38,080
I'm back! Put that in an e-�mail.
681
00:27:38,081 --> 00:27:39,333
[CHUCKLES]
682
00:27:42,753 --> 00:27:47,214
Well, folks, we had to do a
little "Everlasting" switcheroo
683
00:27:47,215 --> 00:27:50,843
as two of our All-�Stars this
evening, Daniel and Naomi,
684
00:27:50,844 --> 00:27:53,346
had to leave us... for personal reasons.
685
00:27:53,347 --> 00:27:56,933
Yeah, personal Herpes
and a peanut butter dip!
686
00:27:56,934 --> 00:27:58,768
See? Easy squeezy!
687
00:27:58,769 --> 00:28:00,811
You know, these guys aren't disposable.
688
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,104
I picked them for a reason.
689
00:28:02,105 --> 00:28:03,565
Yeah, I'm sure you did.
690
00:28:05,651 --> 00:28:07,860
Hey, where's Jack?
691
00:28:07,861 --> 00:28:09,612
Oh, shit.
692
00:28:09,613 --> 00:28:12,156
Ooh! Look at that! We got a
runner and a packer.
693
00:28:12,157 --> 00:28:13,783
At least he's efficient.
694
00:28:13,784 --> 00:28:15,326
Yeah, well, he doesn't
think he has a chance.
695
00:28:15,327 --> 00:28:17,536
You got rid of the one woman
he spoke to all night, Naomi.
696
00:28:17,537 --> 00:28:18,788
Ohhh, I'm sorry.
697
00:28:18,789 --> 00:28:20,247
Maybe it's good story.
698
00:28:20,248 --> 00:28:22,625
Guy gets cut night 1 on
his third time at bat.
699
00:28:22,626 --> 00:28:24,710
What are you talking about?
We're not gonna cut Jack.
700
00:28:24,711 --> 00:28:26,921
He's a white-�picket-�fence,
family-�man dream.
701
00:28:26,922 --> 00:28:28,172
He's not getting cut.
702
00:28:28,173 --> 00:28:29,924
I will make sure he stays.
703
00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:31,717
You make sure someone picks him.
704
00:28:31,718 --> 00:28:33,260
[DOOR OPENS, CLOSES]
705
00:28:33,261 --> 00:28:34,512
That was weird.
706
00:28:34,513 --> 00:28:36,138
Yeah, I mean, we definitely have enough
707
00:28:36,139 --> 00:28:38,182
white-�picket white boys already.
708
00:28:38,183 --> 00:28:39,850
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
709
00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,936
This was your plan... to humiliate me.
710
00:28:41,937 --> 00:28:44,897
Look, Jack, I had no idea
that was gonna happen,
711
00:28:44,898 --> 00:28:46,983
- RACHEL: but you can't leave, honestly.
- JACK: Watch me.
712
00:28:46,984 --> 00:28:48,901
Hey, hey, hey. Jack,
just take a deep breath.
713
00:28:48,902 --> 00:28:51,320
Give me one second. One second.
714
00:28:51,321 --> 00:28:53,073
Noelle. Come here.
715
00:28:55,867 --> 00:28:58,369
Noelle, you know you're my girl, right?
716
00:28:58,370 --> 00:29:01,539
- NOELLE: Yeah.
- TOMMY: And I just... I don't want to see anything...
717
00:29:01,540 --> 00:29:04,208
traumatic happen to you again.
718
00:29:04,209 --> 00:29:06,085
Did... did Rodrigo say something?
719
00:29:06,086 --> 00:29:07,962
No, no. It's not Rodrigo.
720
00:29:07,963 --> 00:29:10,589
I'm so stupid, coming back on
a reality show to find someone.
721
00:29:10,590 --> 00:29:11,882
It's really not that stupid.
722
00:29:11,883 --> 00:29:13,551
I mean, all of these people are vetted.
723
00:29:13,552 --> 00:29:17,346
They're hand-�picked. They're
special, just like you.
724
00:29:17,347 --> 00:29:20,182
Look, no one's supposed to know how
the guys voted on "Hump or Dump,"
725
00:29:20,183 --> 00:29:24,979
so all I can say is, there is
one woman who got all humps,
726
00:29:24,980 --> 00:29:26,564
no dumps.
727
00:29:26,565 --> 00:29:28,774
And it wasn't you.
728
00:29:28,775 --> 00:29:29,942
What?
729
00:29:29,943 --> 00:29:32,696
Someone dumped me? Who?
730
00:29:34,156 --> 00:29:36,490
GRAHAM: The women will, of
course, choose their man of choice
731
00:29:36,491 --> 00:29:38,492
and continue on this journey of love,
732
00:29:38,493 --> 00:29:42,288
but in a twist this season,
they'll get to spend the night.
733
00:29:42,289 --> 00:29:45,332
QUINN: Ooh! Every night's an overnight.
734
00:29:45,333 --> 00:29:46,542
I love it!
735
00:29:46,543 --> 00:29:48,169
You know, that means that the dingo
736
00:29:48,170 --> 00:29:49,879
is probably gonna have
to give up his hammock.
737
00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:52,590
Oh-�ho-�ho, his stock just plummeted.
738
00:29:52,591 --> 00:29:54,675
[LAUGHS]
739
00:29:54,676 --> 00:29:56,635
You good? We're golden.
740
00:29:56,636 --> 00:29:58,012
Uh, what's going on with you two?
741
00:29:58,013 --> 00:29:59,972
- QUINN: My people better be safe.
- TOMMY: They'll be fine.
742
00:29:59,973 --> 00:30:02,183
In fact, we're gonna
let Candi pick first.
743
00:30:02,184 --> 00:30:04,185
First up, gentlemen... Candi,
744
00:30:04,186 --> 00:30:07,688
our All-�Star "Everlasting" superfan.
745
00:30:07,689 --> 00:30:09,565
You will have, of
course, the first choice.
746
00:30:09,566 --> 00:30:13,152
Whose hands will you choose
to put in your candy jar?
747
00:30:13,153 --> 00:30:15,780
Wow. That's incredibly offensive.
748
00:30:15,781 --> 00:30:17,490
When's he gonna learn? Never.
749
00:30:17,491 --> 00:30:19,366
I really, like, get to
choose any of these guys?
750
00:30:19,367 --> 00:30:20,993
Come on, you've seen the
show a million times.
751
00:30:20,994 --> 00:30:22,703
You know how this works.
752
00:30:22,704 --> 00:30:23,913
Right.
753
00:30:23,914 --> 00:30:27,875
I choose Rodrigo, baby.
754
00:30:27,876 --> 00:30:30,252
- GRAHAM: Rodrigo!
- QUINN: Ooh! Look at that.
755
00:30:30,253 --> 00:30:33,631
Prom queen doesn't like competition.
756
00:30:33,632 --> 00:30:35,966
W... why didn't you have her pick Jack?
757
00:30:35,967 --> 00:30:37,802
Big picture. Trust me.
758
00:30:37,803 --> 00:30:39,845
Next up is Sofia.
759
00:30:39,846 --> 00:30:40,888
Second choice.
760
00:30:40,889 --> 00:30:41,931
Mm...
761
00:30:41,932 --> 00:30:44,016
Um... Alexi.
762
00:30:44,017 --> 00:30:47,853
Oh! So she's a smart aspiring bitch.
763
00:30:47,854 --> 00:30:49,730
Maybe you can take her all the way,
764
00:30:49,731 --> 00:30:52,399
and actually make the payments
on your new douche-�mobile.
765
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,151
You told me I should get that car.
766
00:30:54,152 --> 00:30:56,862
- QUINN: No! That is the definition of "douche."
- CHET: Okay.
767
00:30:56,863 --> 00:30:58,489
- QUINN: I didn't say get that...
- CHET: We're all good.
768
00:30:58,490 --> 00:31:01,033
All our guys are safe,
so we can just head home,
769
00:31:01,034 --> 00:31:04,328
order out for sush,
maybe get some massages.
770
00:31:04,329 --> 00:31:06,288
But not from the same place, right?
771
00:31:06,289 --> 00:31:08,624
- No, not the same place.
- You should do that.
772
00:31:08,625 --> 00:31:11,544
You should go. You should leave.
That's what you love to do.
773
00:31:11,545 --> 00:31:14,296
Excuse me? You were the one who left.
774
00:31:14,297 --> 00:31:16,215
Mm, I came, like, right back.
775
00:31:16,216 --> 00:31:17,508
SKYE: Roger.
776
00:31:17,509 --> 00:31:19,510
I mean, look. Roger the rapist is safe.
777
00:31:19,511 --> 00:31:20,928
What are you complaining about?
778
00:31:20,929 --> 00:31:22,221
GRAHAM: Next, we have Maya.
779
00:31:22,222 --> 00:31:24,348
August. And your Greek god.
780
00:31:24,349 --> 00:31:26,225
I'm sure you can
circle back on that one.
781
00:31:26,226 --> 00:31:28,269
Yeah, no, you're right. I
have nothing to complain about.
782
00:31:28,270 --> 00:31:30,479
Everything's perfect.
You should just go, uh,
783
00:31:30,480 --> 00:31:32,064
jump on your helicopter,
784
00:31:32,065 --> 00:31:35,401
land it on your yacht, and
we'll see you guys later. Bye!
785
00:31:35,402 --> 00:31:36,819
[SCOFFS] It was four weeks.
786
00:31:36,820 --> 00:31:39,572
What, I'm not allowed
to go on a vacation?
787
00:31:39,573 --> 00:31:41,323
GRAHAM: We're down to our final pick,
788
00:31:41,324 --> 00:31:44,827
and that honor goes to
the beguiling Noelle.
789
00:31:44,828 --> 00:31:46,453
Noelle, you have two choices here.
790
00:31:46,454 --> 00:31:48,247
You have Joe and Jack.
791
00:31:48,248 --> 00:31:50,332
One, you will keep, and
one, you will kill...
792
00:31:50,333 --> 00:31:52,293
metaphorically speaking, of course.
793
00:31:52,294 --> 00:31:54,253
NOELLE: Oh, dear. Um...
794
00:31:54,254 --> 00:31:57,047
You called me a stuck-�up, frigid bitch.
795
00:31:57,048 --> 00:31:59,967
Why? 'Cause I wasn't paying
enough attention to you?
796
00:31:59,968 --> 00:32:01,343
Uh, what's with the bucket?
797
00:32:01,344 --> 00:32:03,762
Watch the game. Shit's
about to get real good.
798
00:32:03,763 --> 00:32:07,099
Well, you have all my attention now.
799
00:32:07,100 --> 00:32:09,518
How's this for frigid?!
800
00:32:09,519 --> 00:32:10,686
Oh!
801
00:32:10,687 --> 00:32:12,855
[LAUGHTER]
802
00:32:12,856 --> 00:32:16,692
Yes! You're a beast, girl! Whoo!
803
00:32:16,693 --> 00:32:18,402
Candi, shut it, okay?
804
00:32:18,403 --> 00:32:20,154
How dare you pick Rodrigo.
805
00:32:20,155 --> 00:32:22,656
You know he's the only
reason I'm even here!
806
00:32:22,657 --> 00:32:23,908
- CANDI: I do?
- NOELLE: Yeah!
807
00:32:23,909 --> 00:32:25,201
Right. Yeah. I do.
808
00:32:25,202 --> 00:32:26,827
- NOELLE: Jack!
- SOFIA: Why is she even here?
809
00:32:26,828 --> 00:32:29,496
She's just, like, a superfan,
which is super-�pathetic.
810
00:32:29,497 --> 00:32:31,874
Yeah, she didn't even have
to go through the humiliation
811
00:32:31,875 --> 00:32:33,959
of "Hump or Dump." So unfair.
812
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:37,004
You know what? You are so right.
813
00:32:37,005 --> 00:32:38,798
- SKYE: Thank you.
- CANDI: All of you.
814
00:32:40,842 --> 00:32:43,093
What do you say, boys?
815
00:32:43,094 --> 00:32:45,638
Hump or Dump?
816
00:32:45,639 --> 00:32:48,641
- Oh! Damn! Damn!
- [LAUGHTER]
817
00:32:48,642 --> 00:32:51,101
MEN: Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump.
818
00:32:51,102 --> 00:32:53,103
Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump!
Hump! Hump! Hump! Hump!
819
00:32:53,104 --> 00:32:56,273
This is amazing! We are on fire!
820
00:32:56,274 --> 00:32:58,275
Exactly! That was the plan!
821
00:32:58,276 --> 00:33:01,195
That's exactly what I've been
busting my ass to do for you.
822
00:33:01,196 --> 00:33:03,155
I mean, I threw away my whole life,
823
00:33:03,156 --> 00:33:05,158
like, right before you disappeared.
824
00:33:06,826 --> 00:33:08,994
[LAUGHING] Oh.
825
00:33:08,995 --> 00:33:10,412
I get it.
826
00:33:10,413 --> 00:33:11,997
I'm not supposed to have a life
827
00:33:11,998 --> 00:33:14,041
as long as you don't have a life.
828
00:33:14,042 --> 00:33:17,711
Because that's what this
season's about, right?
829
00:33:17,712 --> 00:33:20,798
That's why you wanted
August and Rodrigo,
830
00:33:20,799 --> 00:33:22,508
and thank God you saved Jack,
831
00:33:22,509 --> 00:33:27,137
because to hell with being a producer.
832
00:33:27,138 --> 00:33:29,265
You're the suitress.
833
00:33:29,266 --> 00:33:30,474
[SCOFFS]
834
00:33:30,475 --> 00:33:32,268
What about Puzzle Boy, huh?
835
00:33:32,269 --> 00:33:34,853
Is he part of your bang-�a-�thon?
836
00:33:34,854 --> 00:33:37,564
- RACHEL: Wow.
- QUINN: You might need to take a ticket.
837
00:33:37,565 --> 00:33:40,067
Looks like there's gonna be a long wait.
838
00:33:50,996 --> 00:33:53,539
I thought you'd be hiding
out in one of the suites.
839
00:33:53,540 --> 00:33:57,209
But, hey, this is...
wow... way more chill.
840
00:33:57,210 --> 00:33:59,878
Yeah, well, I used to live here.
841
00:33:59,879 --> 00:34:02,589
I mean, you know, I slept
here before I got my own place.
842
00:34:02,590 --> 00:34:05,634
- What, really?
- Mm-�hmm.
843
00:34:05,635 --> 00:34:07,094
Are you all right?
844
00:34:07,095 --> 00:34:08,595
Oh, no, it's j... it's complicated.
845
00:34:08,596 --> 00:34:11,181
There's just a lot of history.
846
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:13,183
Uh-�huh.
847
00:34:13,184 --> 00:34:14,560
Quinn's got you nailed.
848
00:34:14,561 --> 00:34:17,271
Not as well as she thinks.
849
00:34:17,272 --> 00:34:19,606
Well, let me take a shot.
850
00:34:19,607 --> 00:34:20,983
Seriously?
851
00:34:20,984 --> 00:34:23,694
Yeah.
852
00:34:23,695 --> 00:34:27,323
What are you, 32?
853
00:34:27,324 --> 00:34:31,285
Never had a real relationship,
pretty much sleep at work.
854
00:34:31,286 --> 00:34:34,455
Wait. I mean, you actually
did sleep at work.
855
00:34:34,456 --> 00:34:35,873
Not a lot of friends,
856
00:34:35,874 --> 00:34:39,084
but you're wildly
good at your job, so...
857
00:34:39,085 --> 00:34:41,962
the years just sort of slipped by.
858
00:34:41,963 --> 00:34:46,550
Until one morning, you woke
up and freaked the hell out
859
00:34:46,551 --> 00:34:49,763
about how desperately alone you are.
860
00:34:52,057 --> 00:34:53,599
Am I right?
861
00:34:53,600 --> 00:34:55,559
You are like a boy genius.
862
00:34:55,560 --> 00:34:57,269
Psychic, even.
863
00:34:57,270 --> 00:34:59,396
But now it's my turn.
864
00:34:59,397 --> 00:35:02,024
Wannabe reality producer,
and this is your big shot.
865
00:35:02,025 --> 00:35:03,859
I mean, you've been climbing
your way up the ladder
866
00:35:03,860 --> 00:35:06,153
with the sex hair and
the beg-�for-�it eyes,
867
00:35:06,154 --> 00:35:08,864
but you've never quite gotten there.
868
00:35:08,865 --> 00:35:11,075
Sorry. All I heard was "beg for it."
869
00:35:11,076 --> 00:35:13,243
And I'm super flattered.
870
00:35:13,244 --> 00:35:15,788
Really, I would so go there with you.
871
00:35:15,789 --> 00:35:17,790
It'd be fun to make you beg.
872
00:35:17,791 --> 00:35:19,667
But, you see, this job
is a big deal to me,
873
00:35:19,668 --> 00:35:22,920
and I don't shit where I eat, so...
874
00:35:22,921 --> 00:35:25,130
Great. You should put
that on your r�sum�.
875
00:35:25,131 --> 00:35:27,549
Listen, unlike Quinn,
I don't give a shit
876
00:35:27,550 --> 00:35:29,259
about what you're
doing with these dudes.
877
00:35:29,260 --> 00:35:33,597
I did the same thing...
every show, every season.
878
00:35:33,598 --> 00:35:35,849
My only issue is...
879
00:35:35,850 --> 00:35:37,726
you're not a closer.
880
00:35:37,727 --> 00:35:39,895
I can close on anything.
881
00:35:39,896 --> 00:35:42,439
I do it all day long for a living, dude.
882
00:35:42,440 --> 00:35:44,316
Yeah, I don't think so.
883
00:35:44,317 --> 00:35:48,153
See, that's the bitter
irony of your life, Goldberg.
884
00:35:48,154 --> 00:35:51,365
You spend all your time
pushing these shiny bimbos
885
00:35:51,366 --> 00:35:55,327
over the finish line
to happily-�ever-�after.
886
00:35:55,328 --> 00:35:58,747
But you... you can't
quite get there yourself.
887
00:35:58,748 --> 00:36:01,083
I can get there if I want to.
888
00:36:01,084 --> 00:36:02,835
I mean, I could have gotten
there a long time ago.
889
00:36:02,836 --> 00:36:05,045
- RACHEL: I don't...
- TOMMY: You're a really good liar.
890
00:36:05,046 --> 00:36:07,256
Oh, my God. Who also
happens to be your boss.
891
00:36:07,257 --> 00:36:09,049
So why don't you take
your bullshit analysis...
892
00:36:09,050 --> 00:36:12,136
- TOMMY: Oh.
- RACHEL: ... and go do the job that I hired you to do?
893
00:36:12,137 --> 00:36:14,346
All right. Night, boss.
894
00:36:14,347 --> 00:36:15,472
Mm-�hmm.
895
00:36:18,393 --> 00:36:20,227
You know him better than anyone.
896
00:36:20,228 --> 00:36:22,981
You have to tell me what I can
do to make him really want me.
897
00:36:25,525 --> 00:36:27,526
Yeah, I think you'll be okay.
898
00:36:31,614 --> 00:36:33,073
[CLICKS TONGUE]
899
00:36:33,074 --> 00:36:34,908
[DOOR CLOSES]
900
00:36:48,256 --> 00:36:49,548
[INHALES DEEPLY, SIGHS]
901
00:36:49,549 --> 00:36:52,509
Let's do it again
902
00:36:52,510 --> 00:36:55,012
Do it again
903
00:36:55,013 --> 00:36:59,308
- [INHALES DEEPLY]
- Come on
904
00:36:59,309 --> 00:37:00,977
- Let's do it
- [SIGHS]
905
00:37:02,778 --> 00:37:04,790
_
906
00:37:05,091 --> 00:37:07,235
_
907
00:37:09,006 --> 00:37:11,700
_
908
00:37:15,450 --> 00:37:17,827
Hey, can we talk about
your little tantrum?
909
00:37:20,663 --> 00:37:23,665
Right... my tantrum.
910
00:37:23,666 --> 00:37:27,252
So, I abandoned you?
Is that what you think?
911
00:37:27,253 --> 00:37:29,671
Well, we were supposed
to do this together,
912
00:37:29,672 --> 00:37:31,131
and then you left.
913
00:37:31,132 --> 00:37:34,218
Uh, so, what, you went
and became a blonde
914
00:37:34,219 --> 00:37:36,637
and cast a bunch of guys
915
00:37:36,638 --> 00:37:38,347
to just screw the loneliness out of you?
916
00:37:38,348 --> 00:37:41,350
Right. Right. 'Cause sex
is all you think I can get.
917
00:37:41,351 --> 00:37:43,560
I mean, like, why shouldn't
I have what you have,
918
00:37:43,561 --> 00:37:45,646
what I help everyone
else on this show get?
919
00:37:45,647 --> 00:37:48,524
- QUINN: What, true love?
- RACHEL: Why not?
920
00:37:48,525 --> 00:37:51,527
I deserve it. And I am gonna get it.
921
00:37:51,528 --> 00:37:55,197
I am. I'm gonna get a ring on
it by the end of this season.
922
00:37:55,198 --> 00:37:56,406
You watch.
923
00:37:56,407 --> 00:37:58,492
[LAUGHS] "Get a ring on it"?
924
00:37:58,493 --> 00:38:00,035
Who are you... Beyonc�?
925
00:38:00,036 --> 00:38:01,578
Rachel, stop!
926
00:38:01,579 --> 00:38:04,665
You are panicking, scared shitless
927
00:38:04,666 --> 00:38:06,667
about what those
assholes said about you...
928
00:38:06,668 --> 00:38:08,752
That is not what this is.
929
00:38:08,753 --> 00:38:10,921
Are you that desperate to not be alone
930
00:38:10,922 --> 00:38:13,173
that you're willing to
marry some contestant
931
00:38:13,174 --> 00:38:15,008
from a dumbass reality show
932
00:38:15,009 --> 00:38:17,636
who you've known for eight weeks?
933
00:38:17,637 --> 00:38:19,888
Well, at least I can't
do any worse than Chet.
934
00:38:24,310 --> 00:38:28,021
Chet is a real person
living in the real world
935
00:38:28,022 --> 00:38:31,316
who I know very well.
936
00:38:31,317 --> 00:38:33,235
You are living in a fantasy
937
00:38:33,236 --> 00:38:35,904
where everyone is
perfect, therefore fake.
938
00:38:35,905 --> 00:38:39,032
So good luck getting
one of these fame whores
939
00:38:39,033 --> 00:38:41,326
to marry the real you...
940
00:38:41,327 --> 00:38:43,245
whoever that is.
941
00:38:45,623 --> 00:38:47,374
You know, for the balance, I
think it's better over there.
942
00:38:47,375 --> 00:38:49,251
Okay, just go, please. Thank you, Alan.
943
00:38:49,252 --> 00:38:51,129
Or... Richard.
944
00:38:52,797 --> 00:38:54,923
- QUINN: Wow.
- CHET: You want to discuss "Wow"?
945
00:38:54,924 --> 00:38:59,303
How about you just
knocked it out of the park.
946
00:38:59,304 --> 00:39:00,762
I mean, you just launched
947
00:39:00,763 --> 00:39:04,516
the most amazing season
opener of "Everlasting"
948
00:39:04,517 --> 00:39:07,352
while you promoted
two of our other shows.
949
00:39:07,353 --> 00:39:10,981
Yeah. I guess it, uh,
worked out that way.
950
00:39:10,982 --> 00:39:13,734
Would you look at what
we've done in a month?
951
00:39:13,735 --> 00:39:16,486
I mean, 30 days.
952
00:39:16,487 --> 00:39:18,530
God, I love you.
953
00:39:18,531 --> 00:39:20,490
[SIGHS]
954
00:39:29,334 --> 00:39:32,002
Hey. Thank you so much for meeting me.
955
00:39:32,003 --> 00:39:34,463
I'm really happy that you asked me here
956
00:39:34,464 --> 00:39:36,048
to talk to you tonight.
957
00:39:36,049 --> 00:39:38,550
I mean, I was the newbie
producer on "Everlasting,"
958
00:39:38,551 --> 00:39:41,470
and... there's so many
things that I need to tell you
959
00:39:41,471 --> 00:39:44,222
about what really goes on there.
960
00:39:44,223 --> 00:39:46,099
Tell me everything.
961
00:39:46,100 --> 00:39:47,393
Start with Rachel.
962
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:51,855
Hey, how about a mai tai?
963
00:39:51,856 --> 00:39:54,942
A little extra curaçao, no mint.
964
00:39:54,943 --> 00:39:56,318
Your drink is my command.
965
00:39:56,319 --> 00:39:57,861
Yeah, just give me a minute.
966
00:39:57,862 --> 00:39:59,530
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
967
00:40:02,909 --> 00:40:04,618
- RACHEL: Hey.
- MAYA: Hey.
968
00:40:04,619 --> 00:40:06,411
- MAYA: Is everything okay?
- RACHEL: Yeah, no, everything's great.
969
00:40:06,412 --> 00:40:07,955
Can I just talk to you for a second?
970
00:40:07,956 --> 00:40:09,582
Sure. Okay.
971
00:40:11,793 --> 00:40:14,419
Okay, look, I've just been
thinking a lot about this...
972
00:40:14,420 --> 00:40:16,588
I mean, like, how hard it
was for you to see Roger,
973
00:40:16,589 --> 00:40:18,382
and now you're forced to spend the night
974
00:40:18,383 --> 00:40:19,967
with some guy that you barely know.
975
00:40:19,968 --> 00:40:21,802
It's fine. I'm okay.
976
00:40:21,803 --> 00:40:24,346
It's not fine, and I am so sorry.
977
00:40:24,347 --> 00:40:27,015
[SIGHS] Look, I have another
bedroom down the hall.
978
00:40:27,016 --> 00:40:29,935
I think that you're gonna be
so much more comfortable there.
979
00:40:29,936 --> 00:40:31,603
[CHUCKLES]
980
00:40:31,604 --> 00:40:33,188
- MAYA: Thank you.
- RACHEL: Yeah.
981
00:40:33,189 --> 00:40:35,107
Ohh!
982
00:40:35,108 --> 00:40:36,108
Mm!
983
00:40:43,324 --> 00:40:46,118
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
984
00:40:46,119 --> 00:40:47,327
[SIGHS]
985
00:40:47,328 --> 00:40:49,079
Where's Maya, Rachel?
986
00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:51,331
She just needed some space.
987
00:40:51,332 --> 00:40:52,666
- AUGUST: Yeah.
- RACHEL: Yeah.
988
00:40:52,667 --> 00:40:54,960
Well, she seemed a little uncomfortable.
989
00:40:54,961 --> 00:40:57,295
Yeah, she'll be fine.
I got her another room.
990
00:40:57,296 --> 00:40:59,172
Mm-�hmm. That's nice of you.
991
00:40:59,173 --> 00:41:00,465
Mm-�hmm.
992
00:41:00,466 --> 00:41:02,134
- I'm nice.
- [LAUGHS]
993
00:41:02,135 --> 00:41:04,720
Look, I know that things got
completely crazy last season,
994
00:41:04,721 --> 00:41:07,931
and I totally get it
if you don't trust me.
995
00:41:07,932 --> 00:41:09,725
[LAUGHS] Yeah.
996
00:41:09,726 --> 00:41:13,353
But we did have a connection from day 1.
997
00:41:13,354 --> 00:41:15,481
You know, like, whatever else
happened, that was real.
998
00:41:18,484 --> 00:41:20,028
You want me to leave?
999
00:41:23,114 --> 00:41:27,534
Let's just have a
drink, see how it goes.
1000
00:41:27,535 --> 00:41:28,994
Come in.
1001
00:41:28,995 --> 00:41:32,706
This will fade away
1002
00:41:32,707 --> 00:41:35,709
Watch out
1003
00:41:35,710 --> 00:41:39,629
This will fade away
1004
00:41:39,630 --> 00:41:41,715
Watch out
1005
00:41:41,716 --> 00:41:42,966
[LAUGHS]
1006
00:41:42,967 --> 00:41:46,554
This will fade away
1007
00:41:47,500 --> 00:41:52,500
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
1008
00:41:52,550 --> 00:41:57,100
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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