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1
00:00:00,060 --> 00:00:03,271
Sync and corrections by sp8ky for
www.Addic7ed.Com
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00:00:03,507 --> 00:00:05,543
Out here in the middle,
3
00:00:05,577 --> 00:00:08,662
our kids learn early that
a penny saved is a penny earned.
4
00:00:08,697 --> 00:00:10,748
And the more pennies
you save and earn,
5
00:00:10,766 --> 00:00:12,466
the more stupid crap
you can buy.
6
00:00:12,517 --> 00:00:15,636
I need $34.95 to buy
a pair of night vision goggles.
7
00:00:15,687 --> 00:00:17,254
Sorry. Wrong family.
8
00:00:17,272 --> 00:00:18,939
Let me see
if this changes your mind.
9
00:00:18,974 --> 00:00:20,307
You could borrow them.
10
00:00:20,358 --> 00:00:22,059
I've seen this place
in the daytime.
11
00:00:22,093 --> 00:00:24,028
I don't need
to see it at night.
12
00:00:24,062 --> 00:00:26,263
What do you need night vision
goggles for, anyway?
13
00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,898
I want to read in the dark.
14
00:00:27,932 --> 00:00:29,767
Look, if it's too expensive,
I'm willing to go for the ones.
15
00:00:29,785 --> 00:00:32,987
Without the no-chafe head strap,
but they're clearly not as good.
16
00:00:33,038 --> 00:00:34,605
Brick, the answer's "no."
17
00:00:34,623 --> 00:00:36,240
If you want to buy
something dumb you don't need,
18
00:00:36,274 --> 00:00:37,792
you gotta be able
to pay for it.
19
00:00:37,826 --> 00:00:39,126
Well, til you get
a credit card.
20
00:00:39,161 --> 00:00:41,078
What happened to
your money from grandma?
21
00:00:41,112 --> 00:00:42,630
I spent it on books.
22
00:00:42,664 --> 00:00:44,048
Christmas?
Books.
23
00:00:44,082 --> 00:00:45,666
Birthday?
Books.
24
00:00:45,717 --> 00:00:48,335
Well, that'll teach you to waste
all your money on books. Mm.
25
00:00:48,386 --> 00:00:50,805
Listen, Brick, if you really
want the goggles that bad,
26
00:00:50,839 --> 00:00:52,956
you're gonna have to go out
and earn the money yourself.
27
00:00:52,974 --> 00:00:54,008
Okay.
28
00:00:54,059 --> 00:00:55,793
Might I either of you
be interested
29
00:00:55,811 --> 00:00:57,511
in buying some used books?
30
00:00:59,481 --> 00:01:02,349
Meanwhile, Sue was cheering
like there was no tomorrow.
31
00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:04,268
It was the last match
of the last meet.
32
00:01:04,302 --> 00:01:06,904
Of the wrestling season,
and everything was on the line.
33
00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:11,141
Aah! We won?
34
00:01:11,159 --> 00:01:13,277
- We won! Aah!
- We're number one!
35
00:01:13,311 --> 00:01:14,978
That's right...
Despite all the odds,
36
00:01:14,996 --> 00:01:18,532
the Orson high wrestling team
had finally won one meet.
37
00:01:18,583 --> 00:01:20,701
Matt!
This is the best day ever!
38
00:01:20,752 --> 00:01:22,820
You won the meet,
and I was waiting to tell you,
39
00:01:22,838 --> 00:01:25,039
I'm finally getting
my braces off. Aah!
40
00:01:25,090 --> 00:01:27,374
Isn't this exciting?
Why aren't you excited?
41
00:01:27,425 --> 00:01:28,406
I have something to tell you.
42
00:01:28,844 --> 00:01:30,678
Oh, no. What's wrong? Do you
like me better with braces?
43
00:01:30,712 --> 00:01:32,162
I can keep 'em if you want.
44
00:01:32,180 --> 00:01:33,831
I really don't mind the swollen
gums and the headaches.
45
00:01:33,849 --> 00:01:34,965
I'm moving.
46
00:01:34,999 --> 00:01:36,333
What?
47
00:01:36,351 --> 00:01:37,434
Where?
48
00:01:37,469 --> 00:01:39,804
To Zionsville.
M-m-my dad got a new job.
49
00:01:39,838 --> 00:01:43,274
No. You... you can't move away.
Everything's perfect now.
50
00:01:43,308 --> 00:01:45,676
You're winning wrestling,
I'm getting my braces off...
51
00:01:45,694 --> 00:01:47,394
We're practically
a power couple.
52
00:01:47,445 --> 00:01:49,113
Look, we'll... we'll e-mail
and call each other,
53
00:01:49,147 --> 00:01:50,648
and it'll be like
nothing changed.
54
00:01:50,682 --> 00:01:53,150
I know it sucks,
but we still have till tomorrow.
55
00:01:53,184 --> 00:01:54,351
Tomorrow?
56
00:01:54,369 --> 00:01:55,853
My dad's already there.
57
00:01:55,904 --> 00:01:57,238
I didn't say anything
'cause I guess I was hoping.
58
00:01:57,289 --> 00:01:59,022
My dad would get fired
or something.
59
00:01:59,040 --> 00:02:01,992
He's not
the most reliable worker.
60
00:02:05,330 --> 00:02:07,698
Oh, Matt.
61
00:02:07,716 --> 00:02:09,867
Oh, this must be love,
62
00:02:09,885 --> 00:02:14,421
'cause you smell so bad
right now, and I don't care.
63
00:02:16,358 --> 00:02:17,541
I made dinner.
64
00:02:17,559 --> 00:02:19,810
Hey, Axl. You want some fries?
65
00:02:19,845 --> 00:02:22,429
Tater puffs?
66
00:02:22,480 --> 00:02:25,983
- Axl! Are you nuts?
- What's the matter with you?
67
00:02:26,017 --> 00:02:28,886
Coach says
I gotta improve my pickoff move.
68
00:02:28,920 --> 00:02:31,105
If I want to pitch this season.
69
00:02:31,156 --> 00:02:33,107
Ooh!
Stop it.
70
00:02:33,158 --> 00:02:35,726
What? Doesn't work if people
see it coming.
71
00:02:37,078 --> 00:02:38,829
Ooh, Sue! Got you corn on the cob.
72
00:02:38,864 --> 00:02:40,714
I know you missed it.
73
00:02:40,749 --> 00:02:43,567
This is the worst day ever.
74
00:02:43,585 --> 00:02:45,903
Oh, no. What happened?
75
00:02:45,921 --> 00:02:49,006
Well, you know how I had
an overbite-crossbite?
76
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,841
Seems they overcorrected,
77
00:02:50,876 --> 00:02:53,410
and now I have
an underbite-overbite.
78
00:02:53,428 --> 00:02:54,745
Is that even a thing?
79
00:02:54,763 --> 00:02:57,247
The doctor said
it's unprecedented.
80
00:02:57,265 --> 00:02:59,183
I'm devastated!
81
00:02:59,217 --> 00:03:01,669
This is a catastrophe!
82
00:03:01,703 --> 00:03:03,821
Ow, ow, ow.
83
00:03:03,855 --> 00:03:06,423
I can't even hurl myself!
84
00:03:06,458 --> 00:03:08,192
Oh, honey.
85
00:03:08,226 --> 00:03:11,262
It's not that bad.
I'm sure it's...
86
00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,030
How many hours of the day
do you have to wear this?
87
00:03:13,064 --> 00:03:14,248
All of 'em.
88
00:03:14,282 --> 00:03:16,116
"All of 'em," huh?
89
00:03:16,167 --> 00:03:18,819
Well, you know, you don't
even notice it after a while,
90
00:03:18,853 --> 00:03:23,224
and... and if you wear your hair the right way...
91
00:03:23,258 --> 00:03:25,109
Whoa.
What'd they do to you?
92
00:03:25,143 --> 00:03:28,095
And this isn't
even the worst thing.
93
00:03:28,129 --> 00:03:30,180
Matt's moving away.
94
00:03:30,198 --> 00:03:31,565
Oh, no. Really?
95
00:03:31,600 --> 00:03:32,933
That means he won't
be able to come around.
96
00:03:32,968 --> 00:03:35,202
And hang out here
all the time any more?
97
00:03:36,037 --> 00:03:38,421
What? I'm upset.
98
00:03:38,455 --> 00:03:40,557
I'm going to my room.
99
00:03:40,591 --> 00:03:43,143
I think I'd just like to be
alone with my thoughts,
100
00:03:43,177 --> 00:03:45,645
and plus, my lip is bleeding.
101
00:03:45,696 --> 00:03:46,996
Okay.
102
00:03:47,031 --> 00:03:49,432
We'll be in the kitchen
if you need anything.
103
00:03:50,935 --> 00:03:53,086
Ay-yi-yi.
104
00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:57,323
Well, I took your advice,
and I got a job.
105
00:03:57,842 --> 00:03:59,793
You're giving Chinese massages?
106
00:03:59,827 --> 00:04:01,511
No, underneath that.
107
00:04:01,546 --> 00:04:04,431
You're looking at the new
paperboy at the "Orson herald."
108
00:04:04,465 --> 00:04:10,654
Oh, no. I don't think so, Brick.
You're too young and too...
109
00:04:10,688 --> 00:04:12,188
You know, everything.
110
00:04:12,223 --> 00:04:14,157
But you told me
I should earn my own money.
111
00:04:14,191 --> 00:04:15,842
Yeah, figuring you'd give up.
112
00:04:15,876 --> 00:04:19,012
Look, Brick, a real job
is a lot of responsibility.
113
00:04:19,046 --> 00:04:20,146
I'll approach it with
114
00:04:20,181 --> 00:04:22,299
the same sense of responsibility
I always do.
115
00:04:22,342 --> 00:04:24,133
That's what
we're afraid of. Look...
116
00:04:24,184 --> 00:04:25,551
Hold on, hold on.
You know what?
117
00:04:25,969 --> 00:04:27,419
I think this might
be good for him.
118
00:04:27,437 --> 00:04:28,821
You do?
Mm-hmm.
119
00:04:28,855 --> 00:04:31,257
I'd like to remind you that
we never did find that gerbil.
120
00:04:31,291 --> 00:04:32,758
Brick.
121
00:04:32,792 --> 00:04:35,394
I think what your mom's trying
to say is if we let you do this,
122
00:04:35,429 --> 00:04:37,263
you gotta take it seriously.
123
00:04:37,297 --> 00:04:39,398
There's no quitting,
no "I forgets."
124
00:04:39,432 --> 00:04:42,401
People are depending on you...
Actual people, not just us.
125
00:04:42,936 --> 00:04:44,336
You got it?
126
00:04:44,354 --> 00:04:45,737
You can count on me...
127
00:04:45,771 --> 00:04:48,757
To do whatever it is
we were just talking about.
128
00:04:49,893 --> 00:04:51,643
So Brick was now
a working stiff,
129
00:04:51,661 --> 00:04:52,795
and he attacked his new job.
130
00:04:52,829 --> 00:04:55,881
With all the gusto
that he attacked life.
131
00:05:14,433 --> 00:05:16,634
Well, Matt and I just talked,
132
00:05:16,652 --> 00:05:19,570
and we decided
our love cannot be killed.
133
00:05:19,588 --> 00:05:21,172
Axl!
134
00:05:21,206 --> 00:05:24,225
Anyway,
even though he's moved away,
135
00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:25,443
we're both committed
136
00:05:25,477 --> 00:05:27,562
to maintaining
a long-distance relationship.
137
00:05:27,613 --> 00:05:29,831
It's all very adult
and romantic,
138
00:05:29,865 --> 00:05:31,749
like an Anne Hathaway movie.
139
00:05:31,767 --> 00:05:33,568
- Oh, my God.
- Are you hearing this?
140
00:05:33,602 --> 00:05:35,320
Get real, Sue. It's over.
141
00:05:35,354 --> 00:05:38,322
Matt's just the first of many
guys who are gonna "move away."
142
00:05:38,340 --> 00:05:40,158
Axl. Seriously, mom,
tell her she's...
143
00:05:40,192 --> 00:05:41,359
Delusional.
144
00:05:41,393 --> 00:05:42,694
Aah! That's Matt.
145
00:05:42,728 --> 00:05:44,095
Let it ring.
146
00:05:44,113 --> 00:05:46,247
Nancy's looking for volunteers
to pack lunches for the poor.
147
00:05:46,281 --> 00:05:48,099
I do that every morning.
148
00:05:48,133 --> 00:05:49,500
Hello.
149
00:05:49,518 --> 00:05:51,386
Your son or daughter
was absent from school today.
150
00:05:51,437 --> 00:05:52,937
Please have them...
151
00:05:54,406 --> 00:05:57,225
Not me. I mostly went to school today.
152
00:05:57,259 --> 00:05:59,110
I don't skip.
153
00:05:59,644 --> 00:06:03,581
Whew. I'm beat. This whole job
thing is a real grind.
154
00:06:03,615 --> 00:06:06,634
Brick, did you
not go to school today?
155
00:06:06,685 --> 00:06:08,485
Yes, I did not.
156
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:11,121
Come on. It took you this long to finish
your paper route?
157
00:06:11,139 --> 00:06:13,891
Oh, I wish. I'd say
I'm roughly two-thirds done.
158
00:06:13,909 --> 00:06:15,692
I just came home
to grab a flashlight.
159
00:06:16,410 --> 00:06:18,995
I really could use those
night vision goggles now, huh?
160
00:06:19,013 --> 00:06:20,680
Ironic.
161
00:06:20,715 --> 00:06:23,099
That's out of batteries, like
everything else in this house,
162
00:06:23,117 --> 00:06:25,001
and besides, you're not
going out again. It's too late.
163
00:06:25,036 --> 00:06:26,870
Look, I don't know
what you were doing out there,
164
00:06:26,904 --> 00:06:28,638
but I'll take you out tomorrow.
165
00:06:28,656 --> 00:06:30,874
And see if we can shave
a little time off this route.
166
00:06:31,909 --> 00:06:34,895
You call that a pickoff move?
167
00:06:37,047 --> 00:06:38,481
So the next morning,
168
00:06:38,516 --> 00:06:39,866
Mike took Brick out
to show him how it's done.
169
00:06:39,901 --> 00:06:41,935
Now you can't walk
all the way up to each house.
170
00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:43,954
It takes too long. Just throw it
onto the porch from here.
171
00:06:43,988 --> 00:06:46,406
Go ahead. Give it a toss.
172
00:06:48,042 --> 00:06:49,826
Hmm.
173
00:06:56,050 --> 00:06:59,169
Really launch it this time,
all the way to the porch.
174
00:07:05,047 --> 00:07:06,363
So once Brick got
the hang of it,
175
00:07:06,381 --> 00:07:08,696
day three of paper delivery
went even better.
176
00:07:08,816 --> 00:07:11,267
Hey, what are you doing?
Shouldn't Brick be doing that?
177
00:07:11,285 --> 00:07:12,369
He's sick.
178
00:07:12,403 --> 00:07:13,587
Really?
179
00:07:13,621 --> 00:07:16,106
Two days on the job,
and he's suddenly sick?
180
00:07:16,140 --> 00:07:17,974
No, he is. He threw up.
181
00:07:18,009 --> 00:07:19,976
Ugh. Was it hard to clean up?
182
00:07:19,994 --> 00:07:22,879
You'll let me know.
183
00:07:23,448 --> 00:07:25,199
See? I knew it'd go faster
if we both did it. Mm.
184
00:07:25,233 --> 00:07:27,101
Johnsons... 322.
185
00:07:27,135 --> 00:07:30,504
Yeah. Beats cleaning up barf.
We really should get a dog.
186
00:07:30,538 --> 00:07:32,356
Mm.
Hey, this is weird.
187
00:07:32,407 --> 00:07:34,241
The other day, when I was
putting t-shirts in your drawer,
188
00:07:34,275 --> 00:07:35,692
I found a whole bunch
of batteries.
189
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:37,528
Yeah.
190
00:07:37,579 --> 00:07:40,887
"Yeah"? Oh, you knew
they were in there?
191
00:07:40,924 --> 00:07:41,628
Yep.
192
00:07:42,134 --> 00:07:43,801
Hey, the Duncans didn't pick up
their paper from yesterday.
193
00:07:43,835 --> 00:07:45,419
So you knew we had batteries?
194
00:07:45,454 --> 00:07:46,387
Mm-hmm.
195
00:07:46,421 --> 00:07:48,194
Okay.
196
00:07:49,546 --> 00:07:50,673
What?
197
00:07:51,001 --> 00:07:52,917
Might have been nice
to say something.
198
00:07:52,945 --> 00:07:54,278
When you knew we needed 'em.
199
00:07:56,198 --> 00:07:58,766
So why didn't you?
200
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:00,268
"Why didn't I" what?
201
00:08:00,902 --> 00:08:03,053
Say something
when we needed batteries.
202
00:08:03,071 --> 00:08:04,721
'Cause I didn't need batteries.
203
00:08:04,739 --> 00:08:06,840
You needed batteries,
and those batteries are mine.
204
00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:08,308
Yours?
205
00:08:08,343 --> 00:08:10,110
Yeah. My batteries.
206
00:08:10,161 --> 00:08:11,862
But we don't just hoard
our own separate batteries.
207
00:08:11,896 --> 00:08:13,730
We have a place for batteries...
The junk drawer.
208
00:08:14,265 --> 00:08:16,232
Yeah, the house batteries
go in the junk drawer.
209
00:08:16,267 --> 00:08:18,685
But there are never any house
batteries in the junk drawer.
210
00:08:18,719 --> 00:08:20,954
Exactly.
I know how this place works.
211
00:08:20,988 --> 00:08:22,305
Open a pack of batteries,
212
00:08:22,339 --> 00:08:25,375
it's like throwing
a loaf of bread to pigeons.
213
00:08:25,409 --> 00:08:28,945
- Great, you missed your throw.
- Now I gotta back up.
214
00:08:31,748 --> 00:08:33,532
Axl, I need your phone.
215
00:08:33,583 --> 00:08:36,018
Sha! Some hot chick
must have got my number.
216
00:08:36,069 --> 00:08:37,819
She's texting me
some pretty serious pg 13 stuff.
217
00:08:37,838 --> 00:08:39,955
No, I need to
tell you something.
218
00:08:39,990 --> 00:08:42,191
Tell me how to spell "fondle"
and then beat it.
219
00:08:42,225 --> 00:08:43,292
Axl, those texts are from Matt.
220
00:08:43,326 --> 00:08:44,727
Right.
221
00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:47,062
Matt's some hot chick who wants
to do stuff to my stuff.
222
00:08:47,080 --> 00:08:49,181
No, I used up
all my monthly texts yesterday,
223
00:08:49,216 --> 00:08:52,017
so I told Matt
to text me on your phone.
224
00:08:52,052 --> 00:08:55,187
Oh, God. This is Matt? Uhh!
225
00:08:55,222 --> 00:08:58,357
That is so not cool.
Brrr! Ugh!
226
00:08:58,908 --> 00:09:00,876
And tell him
the picnic by the lake is off.
227
00:09:00,910 --> 00:09:03,245
Sorry about that, Matt.
I have the phone now.
228
00:09:03,279 --> 00:09:05,747
Now we can
talk and text at the same time.
229
00:09:07,100 --> 00:09:10,085
You guys have gotta do something
about your daughter.
230
00:09:10,152 --> 00:09:12,120
You two are out
driving around having fun.
231
00:09:12,138 --> 00:09:14,222
While Sue's out there
making a fool of herself.
232
00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:16,825
She's going around telling
people that she and Matt.
233
00:09:16,843 --> 00:09:19,995
Are gonna be together forever.
You gotta tell her the truth!
234
00:09:20,062 --> 00:09:21,880
Axl, look.
235
00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,782
You guys are getting older,
and it's not our place.
236
00:09:24,817 --> 00:09:27,352
To step in the middle
of all your romantic dramas.
237
00:09:27,386 --> 00:09:28,937
Oh, my God.
238
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:30,905
That's the laziest
parenting ever.
239
00:09:33,592 --> 00:09:36,344
Mm! Look, mom and dad should be
the ones talking to you,
240
00:09:36,378 --> 00:09:37,812
but they won't
'cause they're lame.
241
00:09:37,846 --> 00:09:39,113
And they know nothing
about relationships.
242
00:09:39,148 --> 00:09:41,849
I mean, if they did, why would
they be with each other?
243
00:09:41,884 --> 00:09:45,153
Axl, I'm sort of busy.
244
00:09:46,822 --> 00:09:49,274
Here's the deal.
You're being a huge dork,
245
00:09:49,308 --> 00:09:51,743
and this isn't even about your
brace face, even though I have,
246
00:09:51,777 --> 00:09:53,411
like, 50 things
I could say on the subject,
247
00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:55,763
but that's for another day.
248
00:09:55,781 --> 00:09:57,879
How can I explain?
249
00:09:58,399 --> 00:09:59,599
Sue, when you started
high school,
250
00:09:59,617 --> 00:10:00,884
you could have stepped it up.
251
00:10:00,919 --> 00:10:02,169
And hung out
with some cooler people.
252
00:10:02,203 --> 00:10:04,571
And maybe had a shot
at a somewhat normal guy,
253
00:10:04,806 --> 00:10:06,757
but what do you do?
You join wrestlerettes.
254
00:10:06,791 --> 00:10:09,292
I founded wrestlerettes.
255
00:10:09,327 --> 00:10:10,427
Making my point for me.
256
00:10:10,478 --> 00:10:11,695
Next, you date a hobbit.
257
00:10:11,729 --> 00:10:14,081
And never once stop to think
how it would affect me.
258
00:10:14,115 --> 00:10:15,632
Before you do anything...
259
00:10:15,666 --> 00:10:17,283
Anything...
You need to ask yourself,
260
00:10:17,301 --> 00:10:19,719
"how does this affect
my super cool brother?"
261
00:10:19,737 --> 00:10:23,423
I'm sorry, Axl, but Matt and I
are gonna be together forever,
262
00:10:23,458 --> 00:10:25,258
so get used to it.
263
00:10:25,293 --> 00:10:26,843
You're nuts.
264
00:10:26,878 --> 00:10:29,129
Long-distance relationships
don't work for guys.
265
00:10:29,163 --> 00:10:30,680
We need our girlfriends
right in front of us,
266
00:10:30,715 --> 00:10:32,015
and even that
doesn't always work.
267
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:33,333
If they're standing next to
their better-looking friend.
268
00:10:33,351 --> 00:10:35,835
Well, Matt isn't
like other guys.
269
00:10:35,853 --> 00:10:38,271
No argument there,
but he's still a guy.
270
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:43,242
Oh, and, uh, just so you
appreciate how nice I'm being,
271
00:10:43,260 --> 00:10:47,614
I haven't said a thing
about your stupid headgear.
272
00:10:47,981 --> 00:10:49,643
And the things
I have are good...
273
00:10:49,763 --> 00:10:53,085
And really funny, but I'm not
saying 'em, not even...
274
00:10:53,103 --> 00:10:55,221
"Cage match," which is
my favorite one I came up with,
275
00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:57,256
so, yeah, you're welcome.
276
00:11:00,163 --> 00:11:01,463
Brick's feeling better.
Should we wake him up?
277
00:11:01,497 --> 00:11:05,050
- Do we have to?
- It's faster without him.
278
00:11:06,452 --> 00:11:07,552
Sue.
279
00:11:07,603 --> 00:11:10,672
- Sue.
- Did you sleep here all night?
280
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:14,709
Oh. I guess I feel asleep
talking to Matt.
281
00:11:14,743 --> 00:11:16,911
It's tough being the new kid.
282
00:11:17,446 --> 00:11:20,581
Lucky, there's this kind soul
in his homeroom named sheri.
283
00:11:20,615 --> 00:11:22,783
Who's showing him around.
284
00:11:22,818 --> 00:11:24,302
You got a little...
285
00:11:24,836 --> 00:11:26,970
Oh, I gotta decrust.
286
00:11:27,413 --> 00:11:29,941
Oh, I need a butter knife.
It's really in there.
287
00:11:30,061 --> 00:11:32,226
Ow.
288
00:11:34,422 --> 00:11:36,156
By the way...
289
00:11:36,191 --> 00:11:38,058
I know you moved the batteries.
290
00:11:38,093 --> 00:11:40,494
I knew you'd look for 'em,
which is why I moved 'em.
291
00:11:40,529 --> 00:11:43,163
- Fine. Move 'em. I don't care.
- I'll find 'em. I don't know.
292
00:11:43,198 --> 00:11:45,473
It took you ten years
to find the first ones.
293
00:11:45,924 --> 00:11:47,434
Seriously?
294
00:11:47,468 --> 00:11:50,036
You've had your own batteries
for ten years?
295
00:11:50,054 --> 00:11:52,239
So that time
I couldn't turn my neck
296
00:11:52,273 --> 00:11:54,408
and I needed batteries
for my massager, you had them?
297
00:11:54,442 --> 00:11:56,209
Yeah, but I gave you a massage.
298
00:11:56,227 --> 00:11:57,811
Oh, you squeezed
the back of my neck.
299
00:11:57,845 --> 00:11:59,046
And said, "that should do it."
300
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:00,681
Why are you
so upset about this?
301
00:12:00,715 --> 00:12:02,466
'Cause we're married, Mike.
You don't get to have
302
00:12:02,500 --> 00:12:05,042
your own secret stash
of bachelor batteries.
303
00:12:05,162 --> 00:12:08,081
Why not? Why can't I have
one thing that's mine?
304
00:12:08,115 --> 00:12:09,198
Because that's not marriage.
305
00:12:09,216 --> 00:12:11,384
When you're married,
you share everything.
306
00:12:11,419 --> 00:12:13,703
Everything?
Yeah.
307
00:12:13,737 --> 00:12:15,605
What about your frosting?
308
00:12:16,181 --> 00:12:18,383
What are you talking about?
That frosting's for anybody.
309
00:12:18,417 --> 00:12:19,784
It's right there
in the cabinet.
310
00:12:19,818 --> 00:12:21,419
Oh, no, I'm not talking
about that frosting.
311
00:12:21,453 --> 00:12:23,588
I'm talking about
the garage frosting.
312
00:12:24,464 --> 00:12:25,865
You know about that?
313
00:12:25,899 --> 00:12:29,151
Few years ago, I came across
a couple cans of frosting.
314
00:12:29,186 --> 00:12:31,370
Hidden behind the paintbrushes,
315
00:12:31,388 --> 00:12:33,239
but did I make
a big deal out of it?
316
00:12:33,273 --> 00:12:36,342
No, 'cause if you want
to have something for yourself,
317
00:12:36,376 --> 00:12:38,093
I'm okay with that.
318
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,405
Yeah, well, you can't possibly
compare frosting to batteries.
319
00:12:41,439 --> 00:12:43,107
They're completely different.
320
00:12:43,141 --> 00:12:44,308
Really? In what way?
321
00:12:44,342 --> 00:12:45,976
Seriously? You don't know?
322
00:12:46,569 --> 00:12:49,104
And why were you snooping around
in the paintbrushes, anyway?
323
00:12:49,138 --> 00:12:52,491
Hmm? You don't even paint.
324
00:12:54,010 --> 00:12:55,427
Sue, what do you think?
325
00:12:55,461 --> 00:12:56,895
Should I upgrade
to the camouflage goggles.
326
00:12:56,930 --> 00:12:58,163
For only $5?
327
00:12:58,197 --> 00:12:59,781
Brick, I'm on the phone.
328
00:12:59,816 --> 00:13:02,907
What the heck? I should
treat myself. I'm working hard.
329
00:13:03,027 --> 00:13:04,524
Oh, you have to go?
Okay. Bye.
330
00:13:05,779 --> 00:13:07,613
Sheri's walking Matt to school.
Mm.
331
00:13:07,647 --> 00:13:10,132
I'm so happy he found her.
She is so helpful.
332
00:13:10,166 --> 00:13:13,052
She even showed him
where the movie theater is.
333
00:13:13,086 --> 00:13:15,037
They say love is blind...
334
00:13:15,571 --> 00:13:17,039
Oh, you're studying with Sheri?
335
00:13:17,090 --> 00:13:19,491
Well, thank her for me for
taking such good care of you.
336
00:13:19,525 --> 00:13:22,094
But in Sue's case,
love is also deaf...
337
00:13:22,128 --> 00:13:24,730
It's so great, 'cause Sheri just
broke up with her boyfriend,
338
00:13:24,764 --> 00:13:26,615
so she's kind of lonely, too.
339
00:13:27,166 --> 00:13:30,602
But Matt says she's super funny
and smart and pretty,
340
00:13:30,636 --> 00:13:32,754
so hopefully,
she'll find someone soon.
341
00:13:32,788 --> 00:13:35,590
That way, Matt and I
can double-date.
342
00:13:35,624 --> 00:13:37,592
And kind of dumb.
343
00:13:39,728 --> 00:13:42,196
Here's why frosting's
different from batteries.
344
00:13:42,230 --> 00:13:44,782
No one ever needed frosting
in an emergency.
345
00:13:44,850 --> 00:13:46,734
You, last tornado watch.
346
00:13:48,019 --> 00:13:50,187
Why won't you let this go?
347
00:13:50,222 --> 00:13:51,705
So I've got a draw
full of batteries.
348
00:13:51,740 --> 00:13:53,607
It's not like
I have a mistress.
349
00:13:54,342 --> 00:13:58,394
A mistress? Wow.
You went there awfully fast.
350
00:13:58,514 --> 00:14:00,432
How did we get
from batteries to mistress?
351
00:14:00,466 --> 00:14:03,302
I'm just saying,
some guys cheat on their wives.
352
00:14:03,336 --> 00:14:05,587
I have batteries.
You should be happy.
353
00:14:05,622 --> 00:14:07,022
Oh, you're right.
354
00:14:07,056 --> 00:14:11,326
Sorry if I don't say it enough,
but thank you for not cheating.
355
00:14:11,360 --> 00:14:15,030
- All right.
- This is perfect. Stop the car.
356
00:14:16,548 --> 00:14:18,449
What are you doing?
357
00:14:18,483 --> 00:14:22,069
We have to put the newspapers on
the porches, or they'll get wet.
358
00:14:24,255 --> 00:14:26,907
You should have put the papers
in the plastic things.
359
00:14:26,925 --> 00:14:28,509
Oh, yeah, thanks for that.
360
00:14:28,543 --> 00:14:30,160
How was I supposed to know
it was gonna rain?
361
00:14:30,195 --> 00:14:32,262
It says "rain today"
on top of the paper.
362
00:14:32,297 --> 00:14:35,716
You know what the really sad part is, Mike?
363
00:14:35,750 --> 00:14:36,950
That when we were dating,
364
00:14:36,985 --> 00:14:38,085
you would have shared
your batteries.
365
00:14:38,619 --> 00:14:39,753
Now I gotta stumble across 'em.
366
00:14:39,787 --> 00:14:41,755
While I'm putting away
your giant boxer shorts,
367
00:14:41,789 --> 00:14:44,357
which, by the way, you've also
had since we were dating.
368
00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:45,759
Get back in the car, Frankie.
369
00:14:45,793 --> 00:14:47,394
No! People need
to get their papers.
370
00:14:47,428 --> 00:14:50,063
Yeah, it's, uh, really urgent
they read about...
371
00:14:50,597 --> 00:14:52,231
"95-year-old Jasper Harris,
372
00:14:52,266 --> 00:14:54,133
who died yesterday,
planting tomatoes."
373
00:14:54,167 --> 00:14:55,451
So you just want to quit?
374
00:14:55,486 --> 00:14:57,787
Look, we're trying to
teach our son a lesson here.
375
00:14:57,821 --> 00:15:00,273
It's about showing Brick
how to do a job well.
376
00:15:00,807 --> 00:15:02,925
I'd love to show him!
I'd love to show him right now!
377
00:15:02,959 --> 00:15:04,710
Where the hell is he?!
378
00:15:06,512 --> 00:15:09,080
Morning. I hope you wrapped
the papers in plastic.
379
00:15:09,115 --> 00:15:11,616
Last thing I need is a bunch
of angry phone calls.
380
00:15:11,651 --> 00:15:13,351
That's it, Brick. You quit.
381
00:15:13,386 --> 00:15:15,618
Really? I thought
it was going so well.
382
00:15:15,738 --> 00:15:17,655
I even thought
about adding a second route.
383
00:15:17,673 --> 00:15:19,207
Mom!
384
00:15:19,258 --> 00:15:22,009
Matt just called
and broke up with me.
385
00:15:22,044 --> 00:15:24,762
He says he wants
to see someone else,
386
00:15:24,797 --> 00:15:27,048
and you'll never guess who.
387
00:15:27,082 --> 00:15:28,433
Sheri.
388
00:15:32,484 --> 00:15:34,419
Knock, knock. Hi.
389
00:15:34,453 --> 00:15:38,172
We're just here
to drop off the newspaper bag.
390
00:15:38,207 --> 00:15:43,494
Ohh. You're the folks
whose kid is quitting the route.
391
00:15:43,529 --> 00:15:45,382
Yeah. I'm so sorry.
You got our e-mail?
392
00:15:45,463 --> 00:15:46,344
Oh, sure, sure.
393
00:15:46,363 --> 00:15:48,180
'Course, in my day,
when you quit a job,
394
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:51,183
you looked a man in the eye
and told him you were quitting.
395
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:55,204
Uh... okay. We're quitting.
396
00:15:55,238 --> 00:15:57,740
So you're raising a quitter?
397
00:15:57,774 --> 00:16:01,026
Actually, we're raising
three quitters.
398
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:03,712
That supposed to be a joke?
'Cause in my day,
399
00:16:03,747 --> 00:16:06,415
when you took a job,
it meant something...
400
00:16:06,466 --> 00:16:09,334
A little thing
called "responsibility."
401
00:16:09,368 --> 00:16:11,536
Oh, y... you don't know us,
402
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,422
but we're all about
responsibility.
403
00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:15,373
We take responsibility
very seriously.
404
00:16:15,392 --> 00:16:19,344
And being responsible's why you
let him quit after four days?
405
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:22,648
Oh, no. He actually quit
way before that.
406
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,517
See, you gotta know Brick.
He starts things he can't...
407
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,519
Well, tell him, Mike.
Tell him what he does.
408
00:16:27,553 --> 00:16:29,188
Mike's the one
who thought he could do it.
409
00:16:29,222 --> 00:16:30,856
I never really thought
he could do it.
410
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:34,493
And let me guess.
You encouraged him anyway?
411
00:16:34,527 --> 00:16:36,228
Yeah.
412
00:16:36,246 --> 00:16:39,448
You parents today,
always encouraging your kids,
413
00:16:39,499 --> 00:16:42,034
telling 'em what a good job
they're doing.
414
00:16:42,068 --> 00:16:44,369
It's no wonder
they all grow up to be singers.
415
00:16:44,956 --> 00:16:47,792
Look, uh, why don't we just
give you the money back.
416
00:16:47,810 --> 00:16:51,128
And call it a day? What was it,
uh, 8 bucks for the week?
417
00:16:51,146 --> 00:16:53,431
Here's 10. Keep the change.
418
00:16:53,465 --> 00:16:57,235
Oh, sure, just... just throw
your money at the problem.
419
00:16:57,269 --> 00:16:58,987
You rich people make me sick.
420
00:16:59,021 --> 00:17:01,806
No!
Trust me, we're not rich.
421
00:17:01,824 --> 00:17:04,542
Between the two of us,
we have four jobs.
422
00:17:04,576 --> 00:17:06,110
Are you gonna quit those, too?
423
00:17:06,145 --> 00:17:07,612
Hey, now hold on a minute.
424
00:17:07,646 --> 00:17:08,696
No, you hold on.
425
00:17:08,747 --> 00:17:11,332
Okay, let's all hold on.
This is crazy.
426
00:17:11,367 --> 00:17:12,700
We're all getting worked up.
427
00:17:12,751 --> 00:17:14,669
About a silly,
little local newspaper.
428
00:17:14,703 --> 00:17:16,337
"A silly paper."
429
00:17:16,372 --> 00:17:19,957
This "silly, little paper"
put a roof over my head.
430
00:17:19,991 --> 00:17:23,311
Newspapers used to start wars,
take down presidents.
431
00:17:23,345 --> 00:17:26,664
Now nobody seems to have time
to read the paper any more,
432
00:17:26,682 --> 00:17:27,765
too busy running around
433
00:17:27,800 --> 00:17:30,802
with their ithings
and their sketch phones.
434
00:17:30,836 --> 00:17:33,021
No, no, I don't have
any of those things.
435
00:17:33,055 --> 00:17:36,307
Jasper Harris died
planting tomatoes.
436
00:17:36,341 --> 00:17:39,844
He was a world war II Vet who
stormed the beaches of normandy,
437
00:17:39,862 --> 00:17:43,064
won the medal of honor,
so you two could have.
438
00:17:43,115 --> 00:17:47,568
The freedom to mollycoddle
your irresponsible kid.
439
00:17:47,619 --> 00:17:50,321
No one's gonna honor Jasper,
440
00:17:50,355 --> 00:17:54,659
'cause CNN isn't coming
to Orson. No, no, no, no.
441
00:17:54,693 --> 00:17:57,528
And you two don't seem
to think it's important.
442
00:17:57,546 --> 00:18:05,169
That this "silly, little local
newspaper" gets delivered.
443
00:18:06,722 --> 00:18:10,308
Eh. Keep your batteries.
444
00:18:10,342 --> 00:18:11,709
Yep, in a family,
445
00:18:11,727 --> 00:18:14,145
sometimes you end up
doing somebody else's job,
446
00:18:14,179 --> 00:18:15,563
but if you're lucky,
447
00:18:15,597 --> 00:18:18,266
someone'll step up
and help you do yours.
448
00:18:20,235 --> 00:18:22,570
Oh, my God. Seriously?
449
00:18:22,604 --> 00:18:25,990
I was upset about Matt,
so I threw myself on the bed,
450
00:18:26,024 --> 00:18:28,242
and then the blanket
got stuck in my headgear,
451
00:18:28,277 --> 00:18:29,994
and now I can't get it out!
452
00:18:30,028 --> 00:18:33,898
I can't believe you're still
moping around over that loser.
453
00:18:33,916 --> 00:18:35,750
Would you hold still?
Ugh.
454
00:18:35,784 --> 00:18:38,119
There. Got it.
455
00:18:39,338 --> 00:18:42,470
But what if nobody ever
loves me like that again?
456
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:45,293
Ugh. Why do you
not listen to me?
457
00:18:45,344 --> 00:18:48,379
I told you before,
guys could...
458
00:18:48,413 --> 00:18:50,298
Like you.
459
00:18:50,349 --> 00:18:51,521
Really?
460
00:18:51,641 --> 00:18:53,301
Trust me, I see a lot of girls
461
00:18:53,352 --> 00:18:55,269
where I go, "how does
she have a boyfriend?"
462
00:18:55,304 --> 00:18:57,805
But you know what?
They do, so...
463
00:18:57,856 --> 00:18:59,857
Why not you?
464
00:18:59,892 --> 00:19:02,605
Aw, Axl!
465
00:19:02,838 --> 00:19:04,185
If you don't blow it.
466
00:19:04,236 --> 00:19:07,155
Like, sticking your head to
the furniture is not gonna help.
467
00:19:10,976 --> 00:19:12,861
What are you doing right now?
468
00:19:12,912 --> 00:19:15,914
Well, I was gonna
write out the entire lyrics
469
00:19:15,948 --> 00:19:19,284
to "Irreplaceable" by Beyonce
and send it to Matt.
470
00:19:19,318 --> 00:19:21,319
Okay, you're not doing that.
471
00:19:21,337 --> 00:19:22,871
You can come with me
to my baseball game.
472
00:19:22,905 --> 00:19:24,322
I'll revise my previous rule.
473
00:19:24,340 --> 00:19:26,091
About not being
seen with you ever.
474
00:19:26,125 --> 00:19:27,625
To you occasionally
hanging with me.
475
00:19:27,659 --> 00:19:30,111
As long as it's been
cleared in advance.
476
00:19:30,146 --> 00:19:32,130
Thanks, Axl.
477
00:19:32,164 --> 00:19:33,798
Bring $5 for gas and...
478
00:19:33,832 --> 00:19:36,885
change your shoes.
I might need a push start.
479
00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:43,224
Come on, Axl. You can do it.
480
00:19:43,275 --> 00:19:45,527
Go, Axl!
481
00:19:50,015 --> 00:19:53,518
Two outs!
Watch that runner, heck!
482
00:20:00,509 --> 00:20:01,859
Aw!
483
00:20:01,877 --> 00:20:04,162
Sue!
484
00:20:05,498 --> 00:20:08,967
That was a really good
pickoff move, Axl.
485
00:20:09,001 --> 00:20:11,803
I didn't see it coming at all.
486
00:20:14,256 --> 00:20:17,142
Feeling better, honey?
487
00:20:17,176 --> 00:20:19,677
Yeah. The ball deflected
off my headgear,
488
00:20:19,711 --> 00:20:21,229
so it only got my forehead.
489
00:20:21,263 --> 00:20:24,649
How lucky am I
to have headgear, huh?
490
00:20:31,056 --> 00:20:34,392
I don't think these things work
without double "a" batteries.
491
00:20:34,410 --> 00:20:38,830
Do we have double "a" batteries?
Double "a."
492
00:20:38,864 --> 00:20:41,299
I don't know, Mike. Do we?
493
00:20:41,333 --> 00:20:43,001
Nope.
494
00:20:43,035 --> 00:20:44,569
Okay then.
495
00:20:44,587 --> 00:20:47,839
Well, I guess I will go out
to buy some at the store.
496
00:20:47,873 --> 00:20:49,924
Since we don't have any
in the house.
497
00:20:49,959 --> 00:20:51,242
Guess so.
498
00:20:51,260 --> 00:20:55,547
All right.
Going out into the cold now.
499
00:20:55,581 --> 00:20:57,048
Bundle up.
500
00:20:57,082 --> 00:21:00,819
Okay then. I'm doing it.
501
00:21:02,271 --> 00:21:05,023
Here I go. I'm off...
502
00:21:05,057 --> 00:21:09,027
To get batteries. Mm-hmm.
503
00:21:11,030 --> 00:21:12,597
Walking down the steps.
504
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:16,271
That night, I went out and
bought a 40-pack of batteries
505
00:21:16,310 --> 00:21:19,512
and hid 'em with my frosting, and
we never fought again...
506
00:21:20,019 --> 00:21:21,381
About that.
507
00:21:21,501 --> 00:21:23,362
Sync and corrections by sp8ky for
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508
00:21:23,412 --> 00:21:27,962
Repair and Synchronization by
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