All language subtitles for The Middle s03e13 The Map.eng

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

Well, she looked good.

She really did.

I think she looked pretty.

She had less wrinkles
lying down.

I never saw her
without her glasses.

Or a cloud of smoke around her.

Look, Aunt Ginny lived
a long, full life,

and she died in her sleep,

and I think we can all
take comfort in that.

How is that comforting?
I sleep every night.

I'd be more comforted

if she died
in a hang gliding accident.

No, in your sleep is
what you're shooting for.

You just close your eyes
and never wake up.

You never even know.

You never even know?

The point is, she looked good.

She really did.

And she's in a beautiful spot.

She really is.

Well, I'm never ending up
in a place like that.

I'll tell you that right now.

If you figure out how
to avoid it, let us know.

Already did.
I'm gonna be frozen.

- You're gonna be frozen?
- Ew, Axl.

Relax. Not my whole body.
I'm just gonna freeze my head.

You're not freezing your head.

What? Think about it.
I'm pretty awesome.

If I go, the world's gonna
want me back,

so I'll just freeze my head

and then when they come up
with a cure

for whatever I died of,
they'll unfreeze me.

That's creepy.
How can you be sure

your head will ever get put
back on your right body?

If I were you,
I'd want my head to be put

on somebody else's body.

Hey. That's a good idea.

If you go before me,
I'm gonna freeze your head

and put it on a dude's body.

- Mom!
- Nobody's putting anyone's head

on anyone else's body.

No, he will. He'll do it,
and you won't be here,

and you won't be able
to stop him.

Axl, promise you won't freeze
your sister's head

and put it
on somebody else's body.

I don't know that
I can make that promise.

See? You won't be here.
You won't be able to enforce it!

Fine.
We'll put it in our will.

You guys have a will?

Of course we do.
We scribbled on a napkin,

"if we die, Frankie's sister
gets the kids."

That's our will.

We don't listen to you guys
when you're alive.

What makes you think
we're gonna pay attention

to your death napkin?

♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ I don't want to talk
about this ♪

Did we seriously not make
a will? I thought we bought

that Johnnie Cochran
make-your-own-will floppy disk.

Then I don't have to live
with Lucy?

Just promise me I don't have
to live with Lucy.

Don't worry. The bank will
take the house,

if they wait that long...

And the rest
of our vast holdings

will be divided equally
among our heirs.

Stop it, stop it, stop it,
stop it, stop it!

This is not appropriate
to be talking about!

I call their dresser.

Why do you get the dresser?
You don't need a dresser.

You're a head, remember?
You don't have clothes!

Neither do you. You're a head
on a dude's body.

Mom, he's gonna do it!
I told you.

He's still gonna freeze
my head.

Don't worry, Sue.
I'll be here. I'll make sure.

Thank you.

Unless you die in your sleep.

Mom!

The point is,
it was a lovely service,

and-- and today is not
about us.

It's about Aunt Ginny
and remembering

all the good things about her.

It really is.

Oh, I know.

She used to make
the best cheesecake.

- Really?
- Oh, sure. It was cherry.

She got the recipe off
the box of Graham crackers.

She let me sit on the counter,
and I always got the first bite.

I'm hungry.

Can we stop and get cheesecake?

- Ooh, yeah.
- Yeah.

- That's not--
- Yeah.

No, no. Nobody's stopping.

People are gonna bring food
over to the house anyway.

- Why?
- Because when somebody dies,

you're not supposed to cook.

- Why not?
- 'Cause you're not supposed

to cook when you're sad.

Are you sad all the time, mom?

Yes, but the point is,
I'm especially sad today

because Aunt Ginny died,
and it's a sad day.

I thought we were happy
because she died in her sleep.

Yes, it's a happy, sad day,

but we're grateful
because she lived a long life

and she's in a pretty place
and she died in her sleep.

Can we please stop
saying that?!

Oh, I remember something else.
She once met Patton.

- She did?
- Hmm.

Wow. Cool. Very cool.

You have no idea
who Patton is, do ya?

Give me a hint.

My God. That's pathetic.
You're gonna graduate in a year,

and you don't even know
who Patton is?

Well, I could amaze you with
some of the stuff I don't know.

So this death napkin that says
I have to live with Lucy--

Nobody's living with Lucy.
Nobody's going anywhere!

Everyone is staying
exactly as they are

right here, right now, forever.

The point is,
she was a nice lady

who looked good
and died in her sleep

and lived a long life
and is in a pretty place

and met Patton and made
a hell of a cheesecake.

And we'll miss her.

We really will.

With Aunt Ginny gone,

I was worried about Aunt Edie.

I mean, we couldn't exactly
count on Doris

to be her sole support system.

Aunt Edie?

Hey.
I brought you a few things.

Ooh!

So how ya doin'?

You know, Frankie,
I'm actually doing pretty well.

Oh, that's so great.
I know it's been a tough week.

Yep. Tough, tough week.

Ohh. Do you want me
to make you a sandwich?

Oh, you've done enough.

How about I make you
a sandwich?

Are you sure?

Absolutely. I'm fine.

Ginny! Want me
to make you a sandwich?!

Hey. How's Aunt Edie doing?

Oh, she's doing great.
It's like it never happened,

probably 'cause in her mind,
it didn't.

Oh, no.

Oh, yes. I had to tell her
Aunt Ginny died again,

and it was
as bad as the first time.

At least there was vodka.

Well, I hoped you saved
a little for her.

Uhh. Not much. Oh, shoot.

You had a meet today?
Sorry I missed it.

Yeah, well, it wasn't my best,

but you're coming to the one
next week, right?

At halftime, we're gonna do
a really edgy "Macarena."

Uh, I-I don't know
if I can, honey.

I have a ton of stuff to do--
File the death certificate,

figure out what we're
gonna do about Aunt Edie.

I mean, I am so wiped out.
I can't even look at all--

Oh, did somebody bring lasagna?

Okay, here are my top picks
of the bereavement food.

Lemon bars are wicked good.

Macaroni salad was a solid 6,
but whoever brought

the giant cookie--
Ugh. It was nasty. Ugh.

Axl! That wasn't a cookie.

That was my Indiana dough
map project for school.

Damn it, Axl.
You ate your brother's project?

Well, why did he put it
on the counter

with the bereavement food?

I didn't.
I put it on the counter,

and people put
the bereavement food around it.

Pfft. Whatever.

I think I did you a favor,
anyway. It needed sugar.

It didn't have sugar, Axl,
'cause it wasn't food.

Well, what am I supposed
to do now,

tell my teacher
my brother ate my homework?

If she had Axl,
she'd probably buy it.

I guess you're just gonna have
to make me a new one.

Axl, your mom has got enough
to worry about right now.

You're the one that ate
his project.

You're in charge
of making him a new one.

Oh, my God!
This is so unfair!

If you guys don't want me
to eat stuff, you gotta say so!

You should know...

My first impulse is
to always eat things.

Mmm.

We know where it's at.

Gonna pin 'em to the mat, jack.

Go...

That's the match!
And the meet goes to Logansport.

What happened? Is it over?

Our team blows.
That's what happened.

Wait. Becky, you can't go.

We still have to do
the spirit bridge.

We mustn't fret the loss
against Logansport.

'Tis God's will.

No, 'tisn't, Ruth.

We can't let God take
the flack for this.

It's my fault.
I couldn't bring

my usual spirit,
and the team suffered.

Sorry. My aunt died.

I apologize
for my lack of spirit.

Death in the family.

Spirit down,

so... really, really sorry.

I'm sorry about your aunt.
My aunt died in Delaware.

We didn't go to the funeral.
I didn't know her that well.

Oh.

Are you gonna go
through the spirit bridge?

'Cause my arms are getting
kinda tired.

Yeah.

So how much salt was in it?

I don't know. Mom did it.

You know how much flour?
How much flour do you think?

I'd say probably
about four bags.

Well, how much
did you use before?

I told you, I wasn't really
watching. Mom did it.

Were there instructions
or anything?

Probably.

Brick, you gotta start
paying more attention

to your assignments if you want
to get a decent grade.

Sean told me
our teacher said that.

Sue. Wow, this is so weird.

I've never seen you here
after school before.

I know. I've never had
an after-school activity.

I'm a late-bus girl now.

Well, I'm glad you're here,
because I have to tell you that

something very interesting
happened

in the locker room today.

Really?

Somebody on the wrestling team
asked if you had a boyfriend

because he-- Okay,
what I'm about to tell you

is really exciting--
Likes you.

What? Are you serious?

What somebody said
they liked me?

It's Matt.

Really?! Oh, wow!

Who's Matt?

Little powerhouse with
tremendous upper body strength

and long eyelashes.

Oh, my God.

If he's who I think he is,
I think I think he's cute.

And, Sue,
as your former first boyfriend,

I want you to know that
what we had was very special,

but I encourage you to fly

and be free to explore this
with my blessing.

Oh, Brad. You are truly
the best former first boyfriend

a girl could ever have.

Wait.

He's not the one who threw up
at the last meet, is he?

Nuh-unh.

Aah! This is gonna be
so awesome!

I know!

Yeah.

So, what, then we're
supposed to cook it?

I'm guessing.

How hot?

I'd say about 2,000 degrees.

It only goes to 450.

That's probably fine then.

Okay. Wait a minute.
Hang on. Hold the phone.

Your brother's a genius.

You ate my dough Indiana.
I highly doubt that.

No, seriously.
This is perfect.

Got brownie mix.
Everything's on the box--

It's got all the ingredients,
says how long to cook it.

Boom. Done.

Gentlemen, how's it going?

Good. Good. I'm telling you,

mom makes a lot of things
harder than they need to be.

You know,
that could apply to anything.

I don't really need
the details.

All right.

Hey. What are you
doing here?

I thought you went over
to Aunt Edie's.

Please, Mike,
can't you go today?

I told her Aunt Ginny died
six times this week,

and I'm not proud of this,
but the last time,

just to shake it up, I told her
it was a hang gliding accident.

Ugh. I just got home.

Come on. It won't be that bad.
It's like ripping a band-aid off

and putting it back on again
and ripping it off again

and putting it back on.

She can't stay there alone,
Frankie.

We gotta figure somethin' out.

I know. I know,
so how does this sound?

"Kind, responsible caregiver
wanted to share lovely home"

with demented octogenarian
who is old of body

but young in spirit.
Drinking and smoking a plus.

Must be willing to diaper
emphysemic dog

"and possibly others."

You're lucky
the economy's in the toilet.

Now while
the oven's heating up,

we dump the dirty bowls
in the sink

for mom to deal with later,
and then we're done.

You know, I'm pretty good
at this cooking thing.

I should have a show.

Did you take the quilt
out of there

before you turned on the oven?

No, we thought we'd cook
with the quilt in there.

Duh, dad. We're not idiots.

Aah.

Ow.

Oh, hey.
You just getting home?

Yep.
After-school activities,

late bus, you know.

So, dad, you're not gonna
believe this.

Brad came up to me
on the stairs and said

the most shocking thing to me.

He said he has a huge secret.

Oh, Sue, you know,
I don't think

it's that big a secret.

No, it is.
Guess what he said?

A boy likes me.

Brad said that?

Yeah, he said a boy likes me.

That's what Brad said?

Right.

Uh-huh.
Now when he said that,

was that Brad talking
or you talking?

Dad, there's really
only one way to take this.

Brad said a boy likes me.

Mm, I don't think so.
Who's "me" in this scenario?

"Me"?

"You" you or "you" Brad?

- What?
- Let's say you wrote it in a book.

Would it say,
"'a boy likes me, ' said Brad"?

Why would a boy like Brad?

Wh-why would Brad say
a boy likes him?

That doesn't make any sense.

Okay, forget it.
I'm just gonna go tell mom.

Good plan.

Mom, guess what?

Brad said... a boy likes me.

Wait. Did he say,
"a boy likes me,"

or did he say,
"a boy likes you"?

Me, mom. "Me" as in "Sue."

What is so confusing
about this?

A boy likes you.
Wow. And you like him, too?

Duh. He likes me.

Yeah, I know he likes you,
but do you like him back?

You heard he likes me, right?

Yeah, I got that,
but do you like him?

I'm not following.

You know, Sue,
just because a boy likes you

doesn't mean
you have to like him back.

I know. I just hope I do.

Oh, yeah. Me, too.

It's just that
you're gonna have

a million guys beating down
your door,

so you don't have to jump
at the first one.

Well, he's not the first, mom.

I had a whole relationship
with Brad.

Or even the second one.

I mean, if you like
this guy, great.

I just don't want you to be
one of those girls

who's so obsessed
with having a boyfriend

that they forget about
what they want.

Make yourself happy first.

"Make yourself happy first."

Wow. I sort of felt a tingle
when you said that.

That's deep.
That's Oprah deep.

Oh, that was Oprah.

Oh.

Bam! Done.

Axl, this isn't Indiana.
It's just a big rectangle.

Fine, so we just cut off
this wedge right here.

Now you cut it too far.

Here. Give me that.

The southwest tip isn't right.

Wow.
We should make brownies more.

Ours are way better than mom's.

I can't turn this in!

Good.

Hey.

What?

Hey, Aunt Edie.

Just so you know, we have
a couple of interviews

lined up for you
this week, okay?

Oh, I just hope I get the job.

Forget it.

Aha!

Is this what
you're looking for?

O-okay. Let's keep
the cigarette away

from the old, dry documents,
okay?

Uh, yeah, this looks like
the birth certificate.

No, wait.
This can't be right.

This says she was born in 1911.

Yes, that's right.

No, I-it can't be.
If Aunt Ginny was born in 1911,

that means she was 100.
There's no way she was 100.

Ginny! You're 100, right?!

100? Wow.
That's pretty cool.

No, it's not cool.
It's not cool at all, Mike.

You're missing the point.
She turned 100,

and did we have
a big cake for her

or send her picture
to Willard Scott?

No. What did we do?

Um, let me think.

Oh, yeah.

Nothing. We are
the worst people ever!

Frankie, you did a ton
for Aunt Ginny--

Gave her foot rubs,
took her to the liquor store.

You sucked fluid
out of her dog's nose

with a dropper, for God sake.

You can't beat yourself up
about this.

She knew how much
you loved her.

No, no, no. This is about
more than just Aunt Ginny.

This is what we do.
We float everything.

We float anniversaries.
We float easter.

I can't even remember when we

last celebrated your birthday.

The problem is, you think
all those things are important.

See, if you're brought up
with no expectations,

then when you miss it,
you're never disappointed.

Yeah, but we just say we're busy
and now's not a good time,

and we float and we float

and we push away
all the fun stuff

so we have time
for all the crappy stuff.

Look at this.

Memorial Day--
Said we were gonna barbecue.

Ended up doing the laundry.

Brick's winter concert--

There was a chance
that could have been fun.

What's this?

"Jill and Ryan's wedding.
July 8th."

Last July 8th.

Looks like it would have
been a good one, too,

in a real ballroom
in Indianapolis.

What?
Oh, my God.

There were meal choices, Mike.

I would have had the chicken.
You would have had the beef.

They would have had a deejay.

I would have gotten drunk
and worn your tie as a headband.

These are the moments, Mike.

We're missing our life.

We've been busy.
We got a lot of kids.

Are we, Mike?
Are we really that busy?

'Cause somehow
we still manage to catch

every single episode
of "Celebrity Rehab."

Hey, keep TV out of this.

We need TV.
We got nothing else.

Yeah, well, no more.

Where are you going?

Sue's wrestling meet is today,
and I said I was too busy.

I can't be there
for my one and only daughter

because of paperwork?

Mnh-mnh. I am not missing out
on one more hour of joy.

I'm going.

But tape "Celebrity Rehab."

There's no more brownie mix.

Hey. What about this?
Pancake mix?

That'd make a good Indiana.

No way. We love pancakes.

It'd never make it
till tomorrow.

Well, then we just mix
some dirt in the batter.

That way we don't eat it.

Genius.

Just goes to show ya...

You put syrup on anything,
it'll taste good.

So what now?

There's no flour,
no brownie mix,

no more pancake mix,
and my project's due tomorrow.

Okay. Stay with me.
Brilliant idea forming.

We order a pizza and cut that
into the shape of Indiana.

Axl, we like pizza!

So we order two--
One to turn in, one to eat.

We're not stupid.

Hi there, Matt.
You're Matt, right?

I'm Sue Heck.

I know who you are, Sue.

Oh.
Okay. Excellent.

Uh, well, um, listen,

Brad told me that you--

and I-I don't know
if this is true--

but that you...
Maybe sort of... like me?

100% true.

Really?

Well, first of all, thank you.

That's so nice,
but just because you like me

doesn't mean I automatically
like you back.

As a woman of the '10s,
I strongly believe that liking

is a two-way street,

and I have to make myself
happy first.

I'm sorry.

Okay.

Check this out.

It's a cheese rive

There's no way
I'm not getting an "A"

- on this.
- An "A"?

They're gonna have to make up
a whole new grading system.

No one is doing this.

We are revolutionizing
the state relief map industry.

Ooh!

So do we have to write
the date on it or anything?

Let me check. I've got
the assignment right here.

Uh-oh.

What?

- I have Texas.
- What?!

Let me see that.

"Each student will be
assigned a different state.

Your state is
the Lone Star State"!

Are you kidding me?!
Are you freakin' kidding me?!

Now you know why mom gets
so frustrated with me.

Frustrated.

Okay. I'll just order
another pizza.

No, forget it.
I'm exhausted and full.

I'll just take the incomplete
and call it a day.

So... are you cool
if I eat the Amish country?

Have at it.

Ha.

Ohh.

Sue.

You made it!

I like you, Sue Heck, and I'm
not gonna take no for an answer.

Aah!

Sue Heck! Sue Heck! Sue Heck!

Sue couldn't believe it.

There's nothing she appreciate
more than a grand gesture,

since she had done
plenty of them herself.

Sue Heck!

I like you back, Matt!
I like you a lot.

So Sue got
her first boyfriend--

Well, second,
if you count Brad--

But most importantly,
I had been there to see it.

The thing is, there's no map
that tells you

how to make your way
through life

which moments to stop and enjoy

and which ones
to speed on by...

And if there was one,

Axl and Brick
would have eaten it.

Hey. What's going on?

We're celebrating
Aunt Ginny's 100th birthday.

Really?

Aw.

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday,
dear Aunt Ginny ♪

- ♪ happy birthday to you ♪
- Mom, you do the honors.

Aw. This is so--

Hold on.

I have been informed that
we floated Axl's last birthday.

Yeah.

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

♪ happy birthday to you ♪

That night we celebrated
five birthdays,

two anniversaries, an easter,
and a graduation.

I think Aunt Ginny would have
liked it.

Oh, I just remembered
something else about her.

She loved a good party.

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com