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1
00:00:04,557 --> 00:00:06,556
Ah, summer vacation... ...
2
00:00:06,607 --> 00:00:08,856
Weekends at the lake,
3
00:00:08,890 --> 00:00:12,306
driving cross-country
in a winnebago, Disneyland.
4
00:00:12,339 --> 00:00:14,306
Yeah, well,
all that costs money.
5
00:00:14,340 --> 00:00:16,273
This is how our summer went.
6
00:00:16,307 --> 00:00:19,706
I'm bored.
7
00:00:19,740 --> 00:00:22,407
I'm bored.
8
00:00:22,441 --> 00:00:25,889
We're bored.
Kids, it's summer.
9
00:00:25,940 --> 00:00:28,674
Get up off the couch
and go outside and play.
10
00:00:30,875 --> 00:00:33,357
Yeah. Nice.
11
00:00:33,391 --> 00:00:36,707
Okay. Everybody get inside
and watch tv.
12
00:00:36,741 --> 00:00:38,190
But finally you hit...
13
00:00:38,224 --> 00:00:40,707
the most glorious day
of summer... the last one,
14
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:43,141
when the kids
go back to school...
15
00:00:43,175 --> 00:00:46,141
and you finally get some
order back in your life.
16
00:00:46,175 --> 00:00:49,340
We cannot be late
for the first day of school!
17
00:00:49,359 --> 00:00:51,507
Let's go! Let's go!
Where is axl?
18
00:00:51,525 --> 00:00:53,857
Brick, go get your brother up.
Axl! Get up!
19
00:00:53,891 --> 00:00:57,507
Did you brush your teeth? Sorry.
I guess I'm out of the habit from summer.
20
00:00:57,525 --> 00:01:00,057
Here. Rinse and spit.
Where are my school supplies?
21
00:01:00,108 --> 00:01:02,374
Mike, where are the school supplies?
I don't know.
22
00:01:02,409 --> 00:01:05,574
You said you were gonna steal some from work.
I've taken too much! Ehlert is on to me.
23
00:01:05,609 --> 00:01:08,391
This is just not a good way
to start my first year...
24
00:01:08,442 --> 00:01:11,340
on cross-country. We got a bowling pencil...
And a paper clip.
25
00:01:11,392 --> 00:01:14,408
That's all youeed for the first day. Oh, brick!
You left a sandwich in here from last year.
26
00:01:14,442 --> 00:01:15,891
That's disgusting!
27
00:01:15,942 --> 00:01:18,891
And you got an "a"
on your "I love winter" paper.
28
00:01:18,942 --> 00:01:21,725
Good job! Ohh. God, when
did I even make egg salad?
29
00:01:21,776 --> 00:01:26,142
Oh! It's not egg salad. Ew, ew, ew.
Mom, you have to sign these forms.
30
00:01:26,176 --> 00:01:28,809
What forms? You were supposed to
sign them and give me a check today,
31
00:01:28,843 --> 00:01:30,975
or I won't get
my cross-country sweatshirt.
32
00:01:31,009 --> 00:01:33,342
If I don't have
my cross-country sweatshirt,
33
00:01:33,376 --> 00:01:36,308
no one will know I'm on cross-country.
You really want people to know you're on a loser sport...
34
00:01:36,342 --> 00:01:38,341
like cross-country? It sucks.
Oh, shut up, axl!
35
00:01:38,360 --> 00:01:41,726
Dad, did you just hear what axl sneezed about
cross-country? We don't say "shut up."
36
00:01:41,777 --> 00:01:44,542
Mom said "shut up" yesterday.
We don't tattle either.
37
00:01:44,576 --> 00:01:47,742
Good enough.
There's the bus. Strap it on and go.
38
00:01:47,777 --> 00:01:51,309
It's still wet. There's school today?
When was I supposed to find out about this?
39
00:01:51,343 --> 00:01:52,809
Nice parenting, mom.
40
00:01:52,843 --> 00:01:55,476
Okay, that's it. Everybody
on the bus. Here we go.
41
00:01:55,494 --> 00:01:57,909
Hurry up! Everybody out! Let's go, let's go.
Here we go. Here we go. Come on, come on, come on, come on.
42
00:01:57,927 --> 00:02:01,243
Have a great day. We'll miss you.
Stay late if you have to.
43
00:02:08,627 --> 00:02:10,110
We missed the bus.
44
00:02:10,145 --> 00:02:13,743
How many days
until summer?
45
00:02:13,777 --> 00:02:16,710
Well, the school year was off
to an awesome start.
46
00:02:16,744 --> 00:02:20,110
The kids were late for class,
and I was late for work.
47
00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:23,477
Luckily, I had Bob to cover for me.
Bob! Where the hell is frances?
48
00:02:23,512 --> 00:02:25,611
I don't know.
I don't know.
49
00:02:25,645 --> 00:02:28,277
Oh, Frankie!
Sorry. I let you down.
50
00:02:28,295 --> 00:02:31,911
Punish me, Mr. ehlert.
Whatever you're gonna do to her,
51
00:02:31,945 --> 00:02:34,411
do to me. Unless you were
making her work the weekend...
52
00:02:34,445 --> 00:02:37,177
of the persimmon festival. I'm Manning a booth.
You've never manned anything.
53
00:02:37,195 --> 00:02:39,111
I'm so sorry, Mr. ehlert.
54
00:02:39,146 --> 00:02:42,278
It's just, today is
the kids' first day of school,
55
00:02:42,312 --> 00:02:45,611
and we're not exactly back to our routine yet,
and... Pete, what are your kids doing right now?
56
00:02:45,645 --> 00:02:48,978
I have no idea, sir.
You see? Now that's a salesman.
57
00:02:50,513 --> 00:02:53,011
We should be ashamed
of ourselves, Mike. Ashamed.
58
00:02:53,046 --> 00:02:55,712
You know, every year we say
we're gonna get better,
59
00:02:55,746 --> 00:02:57,178
and we never are.
60
00:02:57,212 --> 00:02:59,612
There's no reason that
we can't be those other people.
61
00:02:59,646 --> 00:03:03,178
What other people? The good people.
The ones who aren't late for work.
62
00:03:03,212 --> 00:03:05,211
The ones who don't send
their son to school...
63
00:03:05,246 --> 00:03:07,311
with a nail scissors
and a lip pencil...
64
00:03:07,346 --> 00:03:09,229
and call it
"school supplies."
65
00:03:09,279 --> 00:03:11,662
No. You know what?
It's a new day.
66
00:03:11,713 --> 00:03:13,879
We're making a change.
67
00:03:13,913 --> 00:03:16,279
Starting now, we are gettin'
out in front of it.
68
00:03:16,313 --> 00:03:19,346
You get innt of it.
I'll get under it.
69
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:21,829
Night, honey.
70
00:03:21,863 --> 00:03:23,779
I am sensing that
you're not nearly as ashamed...
71
00:03:23,813 --> 00:03:26,246
as you should be.
Mnh-mnh.
72
00:03:26,280 --> 00:03:28,680
No. I'm serious.
If this was "supernanny"...
73
00:03:28,714 --> 00:03:31,046
and we saw this morning
on hidden home camera,
74
00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,179
jo would crucify us.
75
00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:36,080
I swear to God, I will pull
that cable out of the wall.
76
00:03:36,114 --> 00:03:37,546
Okay. Fine.
77
00:03:37,580 --> 00:03:39,513
You stay the same,
78
00:03:39,547 --> 00:03:42,813
and I will grow
into a better person alone.
79
00:03:42,847 --> 00:03:44,247
You sleep.
80
00:03:44,281 --> 00:03:45,713
I will fill out...
81
00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:49,063
three children's worth
of school forms by myself.
82
00:03:49,114 --> 00:03:51,364
Fine.
83
00:03:51,415 --> 00:03:53,297
You want help filling out
the forms,
84
00:03:53,331 --> 00:03:55,263
I will help you fill out
the forms.
85
00:03:55,298 --> 00:03:56,747
Thank you.
86
00:03:56,782 --> 00:03:59,814
Mm-hmm.
87
00:04:01,314 --> 00:04:03,480
What's the pediatrician's name
again?
88
00:04:05,181 --> 00:04:06,947
Doctor...
89
00:04:06,982 --> 00:04:08,414
Larimer.
90
00:04:08,448 --> 00:04:11,947
Larimer. Sure.
91
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:15,547
And sue's middle name
would be...
92
00:04:15,581 --> 00:04:17,847
You know her middle name.
93
00:04:20,682 --> 00:04:22,281
Sue. Remember?
94
00:04:22,315 --> 00:04:24,715
Oh. They wrote it down twice
on her birth certificate...
95
00:04:24,749 --> 00:04:26,381
by accident,
96
00:04:26,416 --> 00:04:29,348
and we keep saying we're gonna go
down there and change it...
97
00:04:29,382 --> 00:04:32,248
And we never do. They want
three "in case of emergency" people?
98
00:04:32,282 --> 00:04:33,715
Yep.
99
00:04:33,749 --> 00:04:36,365
Seems excessive.
We'll give 'em one.
100
00:04:37,883 --> 00:04:40,815
This was your plan
all along, wasn't it?
101
00:04:40,849 --> 00:04:42,798
Maybe. Night, honey.
102
00:04:44,333 --> 00:04:45,798
Mm.
103
00:04:45,833 --> 00:04:49,082
Okay.
You just get your sleep,
104
00:04:49,116 --> 00:04:52,082
'cause tomorrow's
a new leaf, baby. New leaf.
105
00:04:54,517 --> 00:04:55,982
Sue sue heck.
106
00:04:56,016 --> 00:04:58,349
Yeah, we really probably
should've made the time...
107
00:04:58,383 --> 00:04:59,783
to change that.
108
00:05:00,509 --> 00:05:02,485
I smell cooking.
Is grandma here?
109
00:05:02,519 --> 00:05:05,399
No, grandma's not here.
I'm making us a good breakfast...
110
00:05:05,434 --> 00:05:08,347
so we can start our day off right. Yep.
We're gettin' out in front of it.
111
00:05:08,381 --> 00:05:10,542
That's what we're doing,
honey, right? Yeah.
112
00:05:10,593 --> 00:05:12,836
I smell bacon. Grandma?
113
00:05:12,871 --> 00:05:15,415
Other people can cook food
besides grandma, you know.
114
00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:18,397
Aah! There's a weird
noise coming out of my clock!
115
00:05:18,431 --> 00:05:21,362
Make it stop! Axl, relax.
I set your alarm last night,
116
00:05:21,413 --> 00:05:24,879
so you would have time to get up
and get ready for school...
117
00:05:24,914 --> 00:05:26,336
without being rushed.
Grandma?
118
00:05:26,354 --> 00:05:28,514
Grandma is not here. I'm here.
119
00:05:28,548 --> 00:05:31,060
Now I want you all
to sit down and listen up.
120
00:05:31,094 --> 00:05:34,544
We're getting up on time. We're
having a healthy breakfast.
121
00:05:34,578 --> 00:05:37,625
We'll start the day organized
and armed for success.
122
00:05:37,660 --> 00:05:39,635
Don't do it. Clearly
these are not our parents.
123
00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:41,595
If you can make that case,
I'm on board.
124
00:05:41,630 --> 00:05:43,086
Sit.
125
00:05:43,104 --> 00:05:46,000
So... in order not to have
a repeat of yesterday,
126
00:05:46,018 --> 00:05:47,976
I have borrowed this chart
from work.
127
00:05:47,994 --> 00:05:50,389
Now for the purposes
of this exercise,
128
00:05:50,424 --> 00:05:52,298
brick, you'll be Mr. ehlert.
129
00:05:52,333 --> 00:05:54,543
Axl, you be Pete.
130
00:05:54,577 --> 00:05:57,558
Sus Lou, I'm me,
and, Mike, you can be Bob.
131
00:05:57,592 --> 00:05:59,669
Do I have to bbob?
132
00:05:59,703 --> 00:06:02,884
Yes. Okay. Lou, today you have
cross-country practice,
133
00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:06,334
so I have for you
your signed forms...
134
00:06:06,352 --> 00:06:09,316
and a check for your
new cross-country sweatshirt.
135
00:06:09,351 --> 00:06:12,498
Pete, you have the food drive.
136
00:06:12,517 --> 00:06:14,474
Here's your canned corn.
137
00:06:14,493 --> 00:06:17,758
Please put it in the bin
and don't use it for fake vomit.
138
00:06:17,792 --> 00:06:19,734
Now, most exciting
of all, brick...
139
00:06:19,769 --> 00:06:21,945
I mean, Mr. ehlert...
140
00:06:21,963 --> 00:06:25,463
I have for you
a brand-new backpack.
141
00:06:25,497 --> 00:06:27,372
But I don't want
a new backpack.
142
00:06:27,407 --> 00:06:29,047
I love my old backpack.
143
00:06:29,082 --> 00:06:30,991
I know that you loved
your old backpack,
144
00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:33,352
but that thing practically
walked to the garbage itself.
145
00:06:33,403 --> 00:06:36,786
But it was my friend! Who am I
supposed to eat lunch with?
146
00:06:36,820 --> 00:06:38,829
I don't know. A person?
147
00:06:38,847 --> 00:06:42,330
Okay, so my family was
a little slow to make change.
148
00:06:42,381 --> 00:06:45,596
I was getting ahead of it.
I was baking brownies,
149
00:06:45,614 --> 00:06:47,539
and by the end of the day...
150
00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:50,119
i was already seeing results.
151
00:06:50,153 --> 00:06:52,045
Whoo-hoo!
152
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,356
Thank you.
Thank you so much.
153
00:06:54,391 --> 00:06:56,299
Oh!
154
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:59,062
You look great!
And so athletic!
155
00:06:59,081 --> 00:07:01,039
And I'm the only one
who has one,
156
00:07:01,074 --> 00:07:03,519
because my awesome mom
sent in a check.
157
00:07:03,553 --> 00:07:05,462
Other moms just don't get it.
158
00:07:05,496 --> 00:07:07,471
I feel sorry for their kids.
159
00:07:10,052 --> 00:07:12,530
Well, thank you
for the worst day ever.
160
00:07:12,565 --> 00:07:14,473
Now that you've screwed up
my body clock,
161
00:07:14,541 --> 00:07:16,416
I had to drag myself
through gym,
162
00:07:16,450 --> 00:07:19,012
and then I dozed off
and sleep-farted in science.
163
00:07:19,063 --> 00:07:22,178
Ooh, brownies. Those aren't for now.
Those are for all the bake sales...
164
00:07:22,212 --> 00:07:25,260
I'm gonna be hit up for this year. When are you
gonna give up on this sicko experiment of yours?
165
00:07:25,294 --> 00:07:28,174
This isn't like the juicer!
We're following through!
166
00:07:28,209 --> 00:07:31,809
Well, the new backpack and I
are not getting along...
167
00:07:31,843 --> 00:07:34,707
At all.
What happened?
168
00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:40,301
Why was your backpack
even on your head?
169
00:07:40,369 --> 00:07:43,248
I was seeing if it had
the same echo as my old one.
170
00:07:43,284 --> 00:07:44,991
It doesn't.
171
00:07:47,269 --> 00:07:49,915
We have to go talk to brick's teacher.
172
00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:52,796
Oh, no.
When did we get the call?
173
00:07:52,830 --> 00:07:54,723
We didn't yet, but he was
already weird today,
174
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,636
and it's just a matter of time,
so I say, let's get ahead of it...
175
00:07:57,689 --> 00:08:00,233
and ll the meeting
before the teacher calls us.
176
00:08:00,268 --> 00:08:02,176
Why? Why do we gotta go
lookin' for trouble?
177
00:08:02,211 --> 00:08:04,437
I'm pretty sure
it knows our address.
178
00:08:04,472 --> 00:08:06,430
Listen, I know
what I'm doing here, Mike.
179
00:08:06,465 --> 00:08:09,044
I got a freezer
full of brownies,
180
00:08:09,078 --> 00:08:10,953
and sue called me "awesome."
There's brownies?
181
00:08:10,987 --> 00:08:12,460
Trust me.
182
00:08:12,495 --> 00:08:14,738
If we make the call,
then we're in control,
183
00:08:14,773 --> 00:08:17,217
and we're the ones
callin' the shots.
184
00:08:17,252 --> 00:08:20,266
And that's why we
thought we could offer some insights...
185
00:08:20,300 --> 00:08:23,382
into our son that might make
the year go more smoothly.
186
00:08:23,416 --> 00:08:25,827
So you're here
on the third day of school...
187
00:08:25,861 --> 00:08:28,691
to try to get your child
some special attention.
188
00:08:28,726 --> 00:08:32,074
Well, no,
not special attention.
189
00:08:32,109 --> 00:08:34,537
But, you see, he is...
190
00:08:34,571 --> 00:08:36,831
You know,
a little special.
191
00:08:36,866 --> 00:08:38,724
Let me tell you something,
mommy.
192
00:08:38,759 --> 00:08:41,572
Every parent thinks
their child is special.
193
00:08:41,606 --> 00:08:44,284
They can't all be.
Th's impossible.
194
00:08:44,302 --> 00:08:47,032
I mean, some children
are just average.
195
00:08:47,066 --> 00:08:49,075
We know.
That's our other two kids.
196
00:08:49,093 --> 00:08:51,554
Yeah, but, see,
brick is quirky-special.
197
00:08:51,588 --> 00:08:54,737
Special needs?
No, not that special.
198
00:08:54,771 --> 00:08:56,211
Well, then he's normal.
199
00:08:56,245 --> 00:08:59,661
So what are you doing here,
dear... on my lunch hour?
200
00:09:01,169 --> 00:09:03,145
Well, uh, we were just trying...
201
00:09:03,179 --> 00:09:05,624
to get out on top of it,
202
00:09:05,658 --> 00:09:07,098
and, um,
203
00:09:07,133 --> 00:09:09,309
you see, brick whispers.
204
00:09:09,344 --> 00:09:13,162
There is such a thing
as overparenting, mommy.
205
00:09:13,196 --> 00:09:16,110
That's not us. No.
If anything, we underparent.
206
00:09:16,144 --> 00:09:18,488
We phone it in.
Right, daddy?
207
00:09:18,506 --> 00:09:20,465
(Chuckle I don't know
what we're doing here. (Chuckle I don't know
208
00:09:20,499 --> 00:09:22,475
Are we trying to convince her...
209
00:09:22,509 --> 00:09:25,808
thatrick is weird or not weird or what?
I know that it's easy for some mothers...
210
00:09:25,842 --> 00:09:28,303
to latch on to their sons
too tightly.
211
00:09:28,338 --> 00:09:31,218
Maybe you're trying to get
from him what is missing...
212
00:09:31,236 --> 00:09:33,797
in your relationship
with your husband. Hey.
213
00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:35,807
Let me tell you something.
214
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:39,458
You add an "s" to "mother," you
know what you get? "Smother."
215
00:09:39,493 --> 00:09:41,468
And no child benefits...
216
00:09:41,503 --> 00:09:44,685
by being raised by a smother.
217
00:09:44,719 --> 00:09:47,800
I am not!
I'm not a smother.
218
00:09:47,834 --> 00:09:50,513
I'm a lazy parent
with a weird kid. Go on.
219
00:09:50,548 --> 00:09:52,708
Tell her, Mike. Just tell her
how pathetic we are.
220
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,354
All right. Okay. I'm pullin'
the rip cord on this thing.
221
00:09:55,388 --> 00:09:58,084
Grab your purse. Let's go.
222
00:09:58,102 --> 00:10:00,061
Okay, so the meeting
with brick's teaer...
223
00:10:00,095 --> 00:10:02,255
was a little rough,
but it wasn't about me.
224
00:10:02,307 --> 00:10:04,249
It was about helping brick.
225
00:10:04,283 --> 00:10:07,632
Brick? Brick heck, right?
226
00:10:07,666 --> 00:10:09,474
Uh-huh.
227
00:10:09,492 --> 00:10:11,484
I'm moving you up close...
228
00:10:11,518 --> 00:10:14,164
where I can keep an eye on you.
229
00:10:14,199 --> 00:10:16,643
They want you to have
special attention.
230
00:10:18,570 --> 00:10:21,011
I'll give you special attention.
231
00:10:26,485 --> 00:10:28,201
Hey. You're already up.
232
00:10:28,236 --> 00:10:30,236
Right. Up since 5:00.
Hope you're happy.
233
00:10:30,269 --> 00:10:32,119
I'm a morning person now!
234
00:10:32,153 --> 00:10:34,671
It was one day, axl.
I got you up on time one day.
235
00:10:34,705 --> 00:10:36,604
Well, it's very dangerous...
236
00:10:36,638 --> 00:10:38,505
to play around with
a teenager's sleep cycle.
237
00:10:38,572 --> 00:10:40,439
Probably messed up
my development.
238
00:10:40,473 --> 00:10:43,056
I probably won't be able to have
babies now or something, uh...
239
00:10:43,091 --> 00:10:45,308
That might not be
such a bad thing.
240
00:10:45,342 --> 00:10:47,858
Good morning. Oh, my God.
You're wearing that again?
241
00:10:47,892 --> 00:10:51,109
It's supposed to be 80 degrees
all week. How do I know that?
242
00:10:51,144 --> 00:10:52,993
'Cause there's nothing else on
at 5:00 A.M.
243
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,927
Except the hoosier farm report.
244
00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:56,878
For your information,
axl, I have...
245
00:10:56,912 --> 00:10:58,912
the fall athletic pep rally
tomorrow,
246
00:10:58,945 --> 00:11:01,479
which I'm a part of...
247
00:11:01,497 --> 00:11:03,147
And am promoting today.
248
00:11:03,181 --> 00:11:06,480
Speaking of which,
I made buttons for all of you.
249
00:11:06,515 --> 00:11:09,598
Wow! "Proud parent
of a cross-country star."
250
00:11:09,633 --> 00:11:11,549
That's a lot of glitter.
251
00:11:11,583 --> 00:11:13,417
I'll put mine on in the car.
252
00:11:13,451 --> 00:11:16,251
...
253
00:11:16,285 --> 00:11:19,352
Hey, where's brick?
Great. I finally get one kid up,
254
00:11:19,386 --> 00:11:21,869
and now the other one's sleeping in.
And one for you.
255
00:11:21,903 --> 00:11:24,454
Sue, go get your brother up.
Brick, get up!
256
00:11:26,855 --> 00:11:28,739
What are you,
your brother now?
257
00:11:28,773 --> 00:11:30,705
Why aren't you ready
for school?
258
00:11:30,740 --> 00:11:32,673
I'm taking a personal day.
259
00:11:32,724 --> 00:11:35,091
Personal day.
260
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:37,925
Come on.
You love school. Get up.
261
00:11:37,959 --> 00:11:39,908
Please don't make me go.
262
00:11:39,943 --> 00:11:42,826
I don't like my new teacher.
Why not?
263
00:11:42,860 --> 00:11:45,661
Everything was going great,
but then all of a sudden,
264
00:11:45,695 --> 00:11:48,462
she drags my desk
to the front of the class.
265
00:11:48,496 --> 00:11:50,362
I like sitting in the back.
266
00:11:50,396 --> 00:11:53,230
I read my book,
and I sip my juice box.
267
00:11:53,264 --> 00:11:55,597
I'm back by the sharpener.
It's all good.
268
00:11:55,632 --> 00:11:59,415
Maybe Mrs. rinsky's taken
a special interest in you.
269
00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:01,900
Doesn't that make you feel
well-cared-for...
270
00:12:01,934 --> 00:12:03,267
and understood...
271
00:12:03,301 --> 00:12:05,667
and, you know...
272
00:12:05,702 --> 00:12:07,168
Loved?
273
00:12:07,202 --> 00:12:09,935
No. I feel like she's
watching me all the time,
274
00:12:09,969 --> 00:12:12,303
and she won't let me
whisper to myself.
275
00:12:12,338 --> 00:12:14,338
Whisper to myself.
276
00:12:14,371 --> 00:12:17,105
I hate school.
277
00:12:19,106 --> 00:12:22,640
I swear,
this is so not me.
278
00:12:22,674 --> 00:12:25,958
I mean, for you to see me
at school twice in one week...
279
00:12:26,009 --> 00:12:28,809
I'm usually here twice
the whole year, if that.
280
00:12:30,344 --> 00:12:33,310
Look, I got the gals waiting
for me at beefsteak Charlie's,
281
00:12:33,345 --> 00:12:36,178
so why don't we just cut to the chase?
If you could please just forget...
282
00:12:36,212 --> 00:12:38,745
everything I said at our last meeting...
Done.
283
00:12:38,779 --> 00:12:41,562
And go back to treating him
the way you would've treated him...
284
00:12:41,597 --> 00:12:44,448
had I not come in,
and maybe move his desk back?
285
00:12:44,482 --> 00:12:46,531
I know that would make brick
so happy.
286
00:12:46,565 --> 00:12:49,415
So now the kid's
calling the shots?
287
00:12:49,449 --> 00:12:51,400
No. I'm completely
calling the shots.
288
00:12:51,434 --> 00:12:54,534
And you... well, you're
the main shot-caller.
289
00:12:54,585 --> 00:12:56,518
Let me tell you somethin'.
290
00:12:56,553 --> 00:12:58,418
You take the "m" off of "mom"...
291
00:12:58,453 --> 00:13:00,286
and you replace it
with "g-l,"...
292
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,320
you know what you got?
293
00:13:02,355 --> 00:13:05,455
I'll tell you
what you got. Glom.
294
00:13:05,489 --> 00:13:07,788
Want me to conjugate it for u?
295
00:13:07,806 --> 00:13:09,289
To glom.
296
00:13:09,323 --> 00:13:10,989
She gloms.
297
00:13:11,024 --> 00:13:13,957
She's a glommy mommy.
298
00:13:13,991 --> 00:13:16,858
I am not a glommy mommy!
It's just that...
299
00:13:16,892 --> 00:13:19,726
brick has never not wanted
to go to school before,
300
00:13:19,760 --> 00:13:22,593
and I will not let you step
one foot out of this room...
301
00:13:22,627 --> 00:13:24,544
until you promise to pay
no attention...
302
00:13:24,595 --> 00:13:26,261
to anything I've said!
303
00:13:26,312 --> 00:13:28,129
Fine.
304
00:13:28,163 --> 00:13:31,429
But... I don't want
to see you anymore.
305
00:13:31,464 --> 00:13:33,664
You don't volunteer
for the field trip.
306
00:13:33,698 --> 00:13:35,598
You don't show up
for the science fair.
307
00:13:35,632 --> 00:13:37,998
The annual mother's day
pancake breakfast...
308
00:13:38,033 --> 00:13:40,300
Maybe you're not so hungry
that day.
309
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:42,367
Got it?
310
00:13:42,401 --> 00:13:45,167
Damn. I really liked
that panke breakfast.
311
00:13:49,371 --> 00:13:52,320
Hey. Oh, do you know
where the corncob holders are?
312
00:13:52,355 --> 00:13:55,388
What the hell are you
doing? It's 2:00 in the morning.
313
00:13:55,423 --> 00:13:57,338
Yeah, well, tell that
to my stomach,
314
00:13:57,373 --> 00:14:00,039
'cause all it knows is
it's awake and it's hungry.
315
00:14:00,073 --> 00:14:02,940
You guys are all like, "wake up
early. We'll be better people."
316
00:14:02,958 --> 00:14:04,907
And my alarm is all,
"aah! Aah! Aah!"...
317
00:14:04,925 --> 00:14:06,908
And mom is all,
"mnh! Mnh! Mnh!"...
318
00:14:06,943 --> 00:14:10,210
Why do we have to listen
to what she says anyway?
319
00:14:10,244 --> 00:14:13,044
You know, why don't you
just man up and say no?
320
00:14:14,679 --> 00:14:17,846
You know nothing
about being a man.
321
00:14:19,314 --> 00:14:21,380
Being a man is being smart.
322
00:14:21,414 --> 00:14:24,647
I know that in may I want
to go to the indy 500.
323
00:14:24,682 --> 00:14:26,115
It is expensive.
324
00:14:26,149 --> 00:14:28,066
She won't want me to go.
325
00:14:28,117 --> 00:14:31,250
But she will remember
that I supported her plan,
326
00:14:31,284 --> 00:14:33,183
and if she does not,
327
00:14:33,218 --> 00:14:34,618
I will remind her.
328
00:14:34,652 --> 00:14:36,985
I will be going to the indy 500...
329
00:14:37,019 --> 00:14:39,486
with no push-back.
330
00:14:39,520 --> 00:14:41,453
And that, my son,
331
00:14:41,488 --> 00:14:43,354
is being a man.
332
00:14:43,389 --> 00:14:44,971
Hmm?
333
00:14:47,189 --> 00:14:49,423
Mr. rasmussen?
334
00:14:49,457 --> 00:14:52,257
Is it a problem that I have
to leave sixth period early...
335
00:14:52,291 --> 00:14:55,091
'cause I'm a part of
thfall athletic pep rally?
336
00:14:55,126 --> 00:14:58,309
Since this is first period, no.
Okay. Just checking.
337
00:14:58,343 --> 00:15:00,243
Do you want to take off
your sweatshirt?
338
00:15:00,278 --> 00:15:02,727
You look a little flushed.
339
00:15:02,762 --> 00:15:04,628
Oh,
my cross-country sweatshirt?
340
00:15:04,662 --> 00:15:06,129
No. I'm fine.
341
00:15:06,163 --> 00:15:08,946
I need to wear it to
the fall athletic pep rally,
342
00:15:08,980 --> 00:15:10,929
which I'm a part of.
343
00:15:10,964 --> 00:15:14,231
Okay. So on page 24...
Mr. rasmussen,
344
00:15:14,265 --> 00:15:17,065
do you need me to give you
my cross-country schedule,
345
00:15:17,099 --> 00:15:20,099
so you can schedule tests
around my cross-country meets?
346
00:15:20,134 --> 00:15:22,367
No.
347
00:15:22,385 --> 00:15:25,001
Oh. Okay.
348
00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:26,502
Whew.
349
00:15:29,103 --> 00:15:31,404
Hey, brick. How was school?
350
00:15:31,438 --> 00:15:33,504
Okay.
351
00:15:33,538 --> 00:15:35,805
Did Ms. rinsky happen
to move your desk back?
352
00:15:35,839 --> 00:15:38,105
Are you worried about me?
353
00:15:38,140 --> 00:15:41,807
Well, I'm a mom. All moms
worry about their kids.
354
00:15:41,841 --> 00:15:44,775
Ms. rinsky said,
my "mommy" came to see her,
355
00:15:44,809 --> 00:15:46,776
and you were wored about me.
356
00:15:46,810 --> 00:15:50,443
Okay. We had a deal. She was not
supposed to say anything to you.
357
00:15:50,477 --> 00:15:53,944
Oh, my gosh.F you're worried,
maybe I should be worried.
358
00:15:53,979 --> 00:15:56,178
No! Brick...
359
00:15:56,212 --> 00:15:59,679
Should I be worried? Is there
something wrong with me?
360
00:15:59,714 --> 00:16:02,480
Ow. Ow. Ow.
361
00:16:02,515 --> 00:16:05,149
I guess this year just
seems harder than usual.
362
00:16:05,183 --> 00:16:07,816
You know, the new backpack
and everything.
363
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:10,583
My old backpack always had
my back.
364
00:16:10,618 --> 00:16:12,967
It's hard to go through it
all alone.
365
00:16:14,886 --> 00:16:17,452
Aah! I ruined brick!
366
00:16:17,486 --> 00:16:19,920
I took my happiest kid
and made him miserable.
367
00:16:19,954 --> 00:16:22,287
I had to get that backpack
back.
368
00:16:25,322 --> 00:16:27,522
Ugh!
369
00:16:27,540 --> 00:16:29,740
Axl! Where's the trash?
I need brick's old backpack.
370
00:16:29,791 --> 00:16:32,258
I took all the bags out to the curb.
What? You never take out the trash.
371
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:35,425
Why would you start now? Well, 'cause dad
told me to be smart and do what you say,
372
00:16:35,459 --> 00:16:38,826
and I'm Bob, and Bob's supposed
to take out the trash,
373
00:16:38,860 --> 00:16:42,060
so that's what I did.
You're not Bob, axl. You're Pete.
374
00:16:42,095 --> 00:16:44,594
Go I'm three different people,
and none of them make you happy!
375
00:16:44,629 --> 00:16:47,362
Oh, no.
376
00:16:47,380 --> 00:16:48,863
Wait! Wait!
377
00:16:48,881 --> 00:16:51,164
Hold on, please!
You gotta stop!
378
00:16:51,198 --> 00:16:53,914
My son's best friend is
in there!
379
00:16:55,739 --> 00:16:58,674
Wait!
380
00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:00,831
Wait! Wait!
381
00:17:10,123 --> 00:17:13,440
Just give me a minute!
I'll... I'll find it.
382
00:17:13,474 --> 00:17:15,762
I'll find it!
383
00:17:15,797 --> 00:17:19,130
Oh, my God. There's a lot
of shampoo left in this.
384
00:17:39,453 --> 00:17:41,061
Victory!
385
00:17:41,112 --> 00:17:43,848
Oh! Mwah! Yes!
386
00:17:48,329 --> 00:17:50,932
Ta-da!
387
00:17:50,966 --> 00:17:53,504
Nah. I think I'll keep
the new one. Thanks, though.
388
00:17:53,554 --> 00:17:56,009
You just said that you msed it.
389
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,430
You said
it was throwing you off.
390
00:17:58,448 --> 00:18:01,284
I can't tell if it's you
or the backpack,
391
00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:03,291
but something smells
pretty rank.
392
00:18:03,342 --> 00:18:06,195
Besides, the other kids
in my class seem to like...
393
00:18:06,229 --> 00:18:08,285
this
sha-qwill O'Neal character.
394
00:18:08,319 --> 00:18:10,209
Maybe it'll help me
fit in more.
395
00:18:10,243 --> 00:18:13,826
Sha-qwill O'Neal character.
396
00:18:16,680 --> 00:18:20,130
All my getting ahead of it
for nothing?
397
00:18:20,164 --> 00:18:23,149
Well, at least I knew for sure
I helped sue.
398
00:18:23,183 --> 00:18:27,513
And now
your 2010 cross-country team!
399
00:18:27,563 --> 00:18:28,806
Let's hear it!
400
00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:31,609
Yep, sue was happy
'cause I'd gotten on top of it.
401
00:18:31,627 --> 00:18:35,111
She'd worn her new
cross-country sweatshirt...
402
00:18:35,145 --> 00:18:37,251
all week long.
403
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:42,194
Ah!
Oh, man!
404
00:18:44,218 --> 00:18:46,209
Are they okay?
I don't know.
405
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:53,209
I thought we could do it, Mike.
406
00:18:53,243 --> 00:18:55,565
I really tught
we could get ahead of it,
407
00:18:55,599 --> 00:18:57,506
but everything just got
screwed up.
408
00:18:57,540 --> 00:18:59,613
Yeah. I never thought
we could do it.
409
00:18:59,647 --> 00:19:00,991
You didn't?
410
00:19:01,024 --> 00:19:03,014
No. It's not possible.
411
00:19:03,065 --> 00:19:05,320
You can't get ahead of it.
412
00:19:05,354 --> 00:19:08,323
You try to plug one leak
and another one just pops up.
413
00:19:08,374 --> 00:19:10,761
So what are you saying,
I should just quit trying?
414
00:19:10,779 --> 00:19:13,764
Yes. Please.
That's exactly what I'm saying. Mike.
415
00:19:13,798 --> 00:19:16,734
Look, you gave it a shot.
You had an idea.
416
00:19:16,767 --> 00:19:19,903
And you'll want to remember,
I was mpletely supportive.
417
00:19:19,986 --> 00:19:21,810
The thing is, Frankie,
418
00:19:21,845 --> 00:19:24,332
There are people
that have it all together...
419
00:19:24,365 --> 00:19:27,650
and everything works out,
but we're not those people.
420
00:19:27,684 --> 00:19:30,537
We don't have
an inground pool life.
421
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:32,494
We have an aboveground life.
422
00:19:32,528 --> 00:19:35,015
But it seems kinda lazy
to just give up.
423
00:19:35,049 --> 00:19:37,006
Don't think of it as giving up.
424
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:39,063
Think of it as getting ahead
of the quiing.
425
00:19:39,097 --> 00:19:40,971
Everybody gives up
by Christmas anyway.
426
00:19:41,005 --> 00:19:43,111
Think of how far ahead we'll be...
427
00:19:43,128 --> 00:19:45,616
of all those idiots
who are still trying.
428
00:19:45,650 --> 00:19:47,474
The truth is, once I gave up,
429
00:19:47,525 --> 00:19:49,979
it was a huge weight
off my shoulders.
430
00:19:50,014 --> 00:19:52,036
Life got back to normal.
Oh, my God!
431
00:19:52,070 --> 00:19:54,724
I've overslept!
Is anybody up?
432
00:19:54,742 --> 00:19:57,760
Nobody, and the bus driver's honking.
Brick, go get everybody up.
433
00:19:57,811 --> 00:20:00,746
Never mind. I'll do it.
Everybody get up!
434
00:20:00,797 --> 00:20:03,317
Dude, no one set my alarm!
435
00:20:03,351 --> 00:20:06,470
I was supposed to write a paper this morning!
Mike, run out to the bus and tell 'em to wait!
436
00:20:06,503 --> 00:20:08,958
Mom, look, I
printed out the front page...
437
00:20:08,992 --> 00:20:12,691
of the school web site. Look at it!
"Overheated student ruins pep rally." Oh, honey.
438
00:20:12,741 --> 00:20:15,029
I know! I'm in the paper!
439
00:20:15,064 --> 00:20:17,054
I'm "overheated student."
440
00:20:17,088 --> 00:20:20,438
Everybody's gonna know me now. Mom, Ms.
rinsky needs parents to supervise the field trip.
441
00:20:20,472 --> 00:20:23,474
Can't. Banned. Go!
Wait. You never packed uslu.
442
00:20:23,524 --> 00:20:26,078
Shoot. Ohh!
443
00:20:26,096 --> 00:20:28,235
Let 'em sit out in the sun...
444
00:20:28,253 --> 00:20:31,685
before you try!
445
00:20:31,720 --> 00:20:33,345
Awesome.
446
00:20:38,489 --> 00:20:40,345
You know those other people,
447
00:20:40,379 --> 00:20:42,403
the ones we're always trying
to be like... ...
448
00:20:42,470 --> 00:20:44,791
I think maybe
if they looked in our windows...
449
00:20:44,826 --> 00:20:48,988
and saw how good we have it,
they might actually envy us.
450
00:20:49,038 --> 00:20:53,588
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