All language subtitles for The Middle s01e18 The Fun House.eng

sync by dny238
for www.addic7ed.com

(Frankie) There are
lots of famous houses

known for the fun times
going on inside...

the playboy mansion,
animal house,

wherever George Clooney
is living.

In Orson, that house is...

The Donahues'.

Hey. Where you been?
(Door closes)

The Donahues'.

You're sure over there a lot.

Yeah, they got a flat screen TV.
Ours is all thick and stupid.

Yeah, well,
ours is all paid for.

I have to do a report for school
where I interview my family.

Okay. Shoot.

When you were young,
what did you want to be?

What were
your hopes and dreams,

and how did you see it
benefiting mankind?

And how close would you say
you've come

to achieving those goals?

Um, okay, well, Hmm.
When I was little...

You wanted to work in a mine?

Oh, no. Dean Martin had
this cool show,

and he had these dancers
who wore go-go boots,

and they were called
gold diggers,

because... well,
their values weren't very good.

Hi, Mr. Heck.
Hi, Mrs. Heck.

O.M.G.,
it's so good to see you.

Hi, Brad.
Hi, Brad.

Brad was Sue's ex-boyfriend.
She broke up with him

after she discovered him
smoking.

There might be one other thing
they had left to discover,

but we weren't about
to tell 'em.

Mr. Heck,
I love your haircut.

You have to give me
the name of your stylist.

Uh, I go to this guy Al,

and I think if I called him
a stylist, he'd punch me.

Well, kudos to Al,
and kudos to you for rockin' it.

Mm.

Brad, why don't you go
look for the CD in my room?

I'll be in in a sec.

Aah! (Giggles) It's Brad.

Yes, it is.
So are you two...

Oh, no, no.
We're just friends now.

And don't worry.

His parents sent him
to a special religious camp

where they cured him
of his... (Whispers) Smoking.

Oh.
Oh.

(Normal voice) No more urges.
(Laughs)

Mom, did you want to be
anything that wasn't on TV?

Oh, well,
when I was in college,

I thought I might have
a career in banking or finance.

I used to be good at math.

But here I am,
just selling cars.

Why don't you ask your dad
some questions?

He's probably getting bored.

No, I'm okay.

Donahues'. Later.

But you just got home.
Hey, you know,

you and your friends can
hang out here sometimes.

We have some fun stuff.
We've got most of a Jenga set.

(Gasps) Jenga!

I'll be back tomorrow.
Maybe Tuesday.

He's always at the Donahues'.

I never see him anymore.
I miss him.

That's why you're the mom.
I don't.

Yeah, but, Mike,
think about it. He's 16.

He's only gonna be living
here for a few more years.

Well, don't worry, honey.

When the outside world
gets a load of him,

I think they'll send him right back.

Axl's right.
This house is lame.

You know,
if we had a cooler house,

maybe he and his friends
would hang out here more.

And that's not a bad thing,

'cause we could keep our eye
on him.

I mean, didn't you get
in trouble with your friends

when you were his age?
(Laughs) Yeah.

We got these fake ID's

and took these girls
in my friend's dad's car...

Dad, could you talk slower?

At the moment,

about the only place lamer
than our house was work.

We hadn't seen a customer
all day.

(Doorbell dings)
Hey, somebody sell me a freakin' car!

Thank God.

Oh.

Hi. I'm Frankie.
How can I help you today?

Well, Frankie, my name's Abby.
This is your lucky day.

(Slurring) I'm ready to buy a car.
Sell me a car.

Wow.
Y... well, I'd love to.

Uh, was there any particular
car you were interested in?

Yeah.
How about a red car?

Okay, well,
I was thinking make or model,

but we can start with color.
Oh, whoa! (Laughs)

Oh. Abby did you happen to have
a few drinks this morning?

I haven't had
one single drink today.

Oh, my God.
You got pretty eyes.

My grandmother says
they're my best feature.

Abby, are you sure that
now is the best time

to be shopping for a car?
You're right.

I should test-drive it first.
Give me the keys.

(Sighs)

(Taps)

I've given her
five cups of coffee.

She just seems drunker.

God, how horrible a person am I
to sell a drunk woman a car?

Do it, you gutless wonder.
(Sighs)

I'd have sold her
matching r.V.S by now.

She's totally into my eyes.

You think I should make my move
while she's still hammered?

Ugh.

Oh, is that the paperwork?
Gimme, gimme.

(Sighs) I'm sorry, Abby.
I can't let you buy this car,

not when you're not fully aware
of what you're doing.

(Normal voice) You should've
sold me the car, Frankie.

You should've made the deal.

Wh-what?

Yep, you screwed the pooch
on that one, Frances.

Drunk customer...
the easiest sale in the book.

Meet Abby Michaels,

a motivational consultant
I hired

to whip you losers into shape.

You got your work cut out for you, Abby.
(Chuckles)

I'm gonna turn off
the security cameras,

and you...
Do what you gotta do.

(Clicks tongue)

Hey.

Oh, good.
You've got your hammer out.

Do me a favor?
Smack me in the head with it.

I'm getting a beer.

I'm guessing you would like one, too.

Ugh.
Ehlert has hired

this whackadoodle
motivational consultant,

who for some reason
has decided to zero in on me

and my terrible sales record.

Or maybe
it's 'cause I'm a woman.

I've got something that
might make you feel better.

It's in the basement.

Oh, honey, that was fun once,

but that old mattress is
so icky.

Get your mind out
of the gutter. Kids, come on!

I want to show you something
in the basement.

A pool table?

Yep, and I got that weird smell
out of the mini fridge, too.

Whoa! I can't believe
how awesome you guys are.

Well, it's the shock
in your voice

that makes it all worthwhile.

You are awesome, honey.

I'm not gonna argue with you.

Can we afford this?

Can we afford free?
(Gasps)

Cheaters went out of business.

Oh. Wow, the economy's bad
when the bars go under.

Hey, is it okay
if I bring my friends over?

Well, we were thinking
this was more of a family thing,

but I-I guess if you want
to make it kind of a home base,

I don't see why not.

(Gasps) Ohh...

Who's got the cool house now?

Brick,
are you licking the chalk?

I'll never eat
white chalk again.

So while the family was
having fun playing pool

at what is now sure to be
the fun house,

i was doing my damnedest

to get out from behind
the eight ball at work...

which wasn't easy,

since Abby seemed to be
focusing all her crazy on me.

Well, I see you've
been eyeing this...

freeze! Bear with us. She's
in training. Okay. Go again,

but this time, try using
our customer's appearance

to get to his hot button issues.

Hot button issues?

Issues you can connect
with the customer on

to gain their trust

and then ultimately exploit
to make the sale.

For example, if you walked
into my dealership,

and I looked at your appearance,
I would think, tired,

obviously doesn't care about
her appearance, must have kids.

Boom! Minivan.

(Sighs)

It's such a smooth ride.

(Singsongy) Boring!

(Normal voice)
Bear with us, Rhonda.

Your patter's like knocking back
a sleeping pill

with a shot of scotch.
Am I right, Rhonda?

No need to spare her feelings.
It's for her own good.

And the gearshift...

freeze!
Bear with me.

The feel of the wheel seals the deal.
Say it, Frankie.

The feel of the wheel...

seals... the... deal.
Seals... the... deal.

- Faster.
- The feel of the wheel seals the deal.

Tell him.

The feel of the wheel seals the deal.

Resume selling.

Bear with me.

(Beeps)

Mr. Heck, outstanding job
on the pool table.

On behalf
of the whole neighborhood,

thank you.

You're welcome, Sean.
Glad you're having fun.

Yeah, we're out of bean dip.

One step ahead of you.
I made a snack run yesterday.

Excellent foresight
and planning, Mr. Heck.

A-one.

Your dad set you up with
bean dip over at your house?

No, sir, he does not.

Axl, your dad rules.

♪

yes, I do.

Hey, I saw Nancy Donahue
on her porch

looking over at our house.
I think she's jealous.

She should be.
It's pretty fun over here.

Yeah.
(Sue giggles)

Oh, hey, Carly

I just came over
to check out the pool table.

Mike, you're lucky. I'm stuck
at work with a lunatic,

and you're here being
the cool dad.

I wanted to be the cool parent.

(Microwave beeps)

Well, if you want, I can let you
take down the Pizza Rolls,

could I?

Yes. But you have to
let 'em know

that I'm the one
who cooked 'em.

Frankie.

Have a seat.
I-I'm only late

because some kids spent the night.

(Scoffs) Relax.
Put your feet up.

Uh... o-okay.

Frankie, you might think
a woman like me

don't understand
a woman like you.

I mean, sure,
my life is glamorous...

one town after the next...
Des Moines, Dayton...

an expense account
at cracker barrel,

uh, free "USA Todays"
with my Continental Breakfast.

I mean, really,
the list goes on.

But it took a lot of hard work.
Do you know what I'm saying?

Nope.
I sure do.

Then get your feet off that desk
and move some metal!

Ehlert wants me to get rid
of one salesperson

before the end of the week.

It'd be a shame if it's you.

(Lowered voice) Bob,
she's firing someone.

Abby told me that Ehlert
told her to fire someone here.

What?!

Yeah.
And it's gotta be one of us,

because Pete's the top seller.

Well, it can't be me 'cause
I'm sleeping with her.

What?

Or it could be me
'cause I'm not all that good.

With me trapped at work
with Looney Tunes,

Mike was beginning to think

the fun house wasn't
all that fun for him.

Mr. Heck, please, let
us help you with that.

Thanks, guys.
(Clears throat)

(Sets keys on counter)

Hey, th-there's raw chicken
in there.

Eh, never mind.

Animals.

"Question 17... now that
you're the mom of the house"...

whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I'm not the mom of anything.

You got chalk on your face.
Come here.

Go to your room.

(Sighs)

Oh, hey, Brad.
How's it going?

Good. Good.

I think Sue and Carly are
downstairs.

Oh, yeah, I know.

Mr. Heck, can I ask you
a question,

you know, man to man?

Sure.

Well, Mr. Heck,
I guess I'm confused

about certain feelings
I've been having.

Brad, I'm not sure

I'm the person you want
to talk to about this.

You see...

there's your parents,
your minister,

lots of people, really.

See, when e and I were dating,
it was really fun, you know,

but we both sensed
something was missing.

Well, mostly I did, I guess.
Mm-hmm.

And now I've been having
these new feelings,

very intense feelings.

But I'm afraid
if I act on them,

it might be surprising and might
hurt people I care about.

Oh. I don't know
if it'll be as surprising

as you think it will.

People kind of sense things
about people, in my experience.

Good talk.

I'm just so conflicted.
(Sighs)

It's like...
I don't know which end is up.

What do I do?

I think you follow your gut.

If you make a decision
by following your gut,

it can't be bad, right?

Can we be done?

(Mouths word)

Frankie.
Abby's been looking for you.

She's in the service center.

Since someone's getting fired,

I'll just take
this opportunity to say...

I think it's you.

You're always running from
conflict, aren't you, Frankie?

That's your style...
avoid and retreat.

Oh, that's not true.

I run toward conflict,
usually, right smack into it.

Attack and collide...
that's my style, actually.

Oh, good. Glad to hear it.

Then you won't have a problem
deciding who gets the boot.

What?

Show me what you're made of,
Frankie.

I'll fire
whoever you tell me to.

You've got 24 hours
to give me a name.

I'm off in the morning.

There's a struggling video store
in Topeka that needs my help.

Thank you.

Yeah, they're easier to pick up
when they're in little pieces.

Why did you tell Brad to

- go out with Carly?
- What?

He said you told him
to follow his gut,

and now he asked her out
on a date to the pie house

Friday night,
in their own booth!

His parents are gonna walk
the mall until they're done.

Carly? That's not what I thought
we were talking about.

What did you think you
were talking about?

Uh...

Hey! Mom's home.

Dad told Brad to date Carly
instead of me.

And I'll let him tell you
about the pie house.

Why would you do that?
You know she likes him.

Do I?
I don't know anything.

I got kids running around
all over the place.

You're not here.

Seriously? Carly?

I would love to be here.

I'm at work
dealing with this nut bag,

and now she wants me to
pick somebody to fire.

Well, then fire Pete.

Then get back here and help me
clean these chips off the floor.

Hey.

It wasn't that easy.

I was faced
with an impossible choice,

and the clock was ticking.

It was like
my own reality show...

not the one where people

have to eat live spiders
or something.

That would actually be more fun
than this.

In any case,
i did have my final answer.

Fire me.

Oh, no!

Hey, Brad. Listen,
yesterday when we had our talk,

I might have given you
some wrong advice.

You told me to follow my gut.
How could that be wrong?

Ah!
It was so freeing.

Yeah, well,

I don't think I really knew
what we were talking about.

What'd you think we were talking about?

That's not important.

The thing is, Sue's crushed,

so what I meant to say was,

if you're choosing
between two girls, pick Sue.

(Indistinct conversations)

Everyone else has been
at the dealership

longer than me.

I have the worst sales record.
So... (Sighs) Fire me.

What does this say, Frankie?

"Fire me."

That's right. I wrote down
what I knew you would say.

That's why I made up this whole
charade of someone being fired,

to show you
how you don't value yourself.

Wait a minute.
Ehlert's not firing anybody?

You made it up?

I didn't sleep at all
last night.

I have been in agony!

You are crackers, lady.

Or am I?

If I hadn't brought you
to this point,

would you have been open enough
to hear what I'm about to say?

I don't know.

Maybe.

I know you. See, you've got
this tape playing in your head...

"oh, I'm just a person
who didn't finish college.

I'm just a mom."

Let go of the "justs," Frankie.

Just let 'em go.

Empower yourself to be
who you want to be

and love that person.

Okay.

'Cause right now you're living
paycheck to paycheck.

And the sad thing is,
you're working really hard.

(Whispers) I am.

I'm working really hard.

I know. You have a choice.

You can say... (Flatly)
"I get up every morning.

"I deal with a mean boss.

The economy sucks,
and no one's buying cars."

Or you can say...

(Brightly)
"I get up every morning.

"I deal with a mean boss.

"The economy sucks,
and no one's buying cars.

"But that's what gets me up
in the morning,

"because I am Frankie Heck,
and I can do it all.

"I get my family dressed
and fed

"and send my kid off to school
with his science fair volcano,

"and I find the missing car keys
in the Lego fort, and then

"I get the Pop-tart stain
out of the football jersey.

"I walk in the door
of the dealership.

"Pow! Bring it on!

"I can sell ten cars today.
I'm not scared.

I'm a mom.
I can do anything!"

I can. I can do anything.

Wow. She's good.

She's, like,
the woman whisperer.

I've seen this.
The chick's a dude.

Really?

Who are you?
Logan.

How you know Axl?

Who's Axl?

(Woman and man speaking
indistinctly on TV)

(Brad) S, do you think
we could talk for a minute?

I feel really bad
about how things turned out

with you and me and Carly.
(Sue) Me, too.

I want to make sure
we're still friends.

Yeah, we're friends.

Because I talked to your dad...

Oh, no!

And he said you were crushed.
What?

(Rapid footsteps approaching)

(Whispers) Sorry.

Dad.

You told Brad I was crushed?

I was just trying to help.

Hey, dad? My interview
report is due tomorrow,

and you still
haven't checked it.

(Whispers) Checked it.
I'm sure it's fine.

Why were you even talking
to my ex-boyfriend?

You didn't even look at it.

He didn't give me a choice.
Mom always checks it.

Well, mom's not here.

Why can't you just leave us all alone?!

You got it!

What are you doing?

(Mouth full) I ordered pizza.

Get in and shut the door
before the kids smell food.

Okay, so guess what?

I'm not fired.

And not only that, but Abby
thinks I have potential.

Yeah.

My problem is I have been
undervaluing myself.

There's no reason I couldn't
be selling ten cars a day

if I wanted to.

Well, ah, not... not maybe ten,

but five at least.

It's about my attitude.

I just have to get up and say,
"yes! I get to get up early

"and... and make
everybody's lunches

"and look for the car keys,

"and bust my butt
to get to work,

where nobody's buying cars."

I'm not saying it
as good as she does,

but, look, there's something
about Lego cleaning.

A "pow" in there.

God, it seemed to make
so much sense before.

Not it just sounds like
it's gonna take a lot of energy.

Maybe I should just try
to get to work on time.

I just want
to get back to work, period.

I'm not cut out for this,
Frankie...

entertaining teenagers, getting
sucked into their drama,

checking Brick's homework.

Actually, Mike really should
have checked Brick's homework.

"My mom wanted to be
a gold digger.

My dad didn't think my brother
was playing enough pool."

The end.

I need them
to reopen the quarry.

I need them to reopen it now.

I miss my trailer.
I miss my desk.

Around here, I don't get
a minute of peace.

You could say it that way,
Mike, or you could say...

(Brightly) I don't get
a minute of peace.

Hmm.

Ohh. Come on inside. Didn't
you hear? We're the fun house.

No. This is my room now.

I've had enough
of the fun house.

I tried to make you happy,
but I'm done with that.

I'm sorry. I thought
it would be more fun.

Let's just ship 'em all back
to the Donahues'.

Good luck. We're out of food,
and they still won't leave.

I say we flood the basement.
Asps) I have a better idea.

(Billiard balls clack)

Mr. Heck,
can I talk to you?

Absolutely not.

Oh. I've decided to take a break
from girls for a while.

Probably wise,
until you figure things out.

Good luck.

Whoa! Party foul.
What are you doing down here?

Oh, we just thought
we'd check out the "haps,"

see what's going on down here.

(Wang Chung's "Dance Hall Days"
playing)

♪ Take your baby by the hand ♪

♪ and do the next thing
that you feel ♪

♪ we were so in phase ♪

I'm glad
we cleared the place out,

but the speed was
a little disheartening.

I know. I didn't even get to do my moonwalk.
H!

(Frankie) So after that,
we went back to being

the house across the street
from the fun house.

We still got to see Axl
a couple times a week,

and that was plenty.

And we still managed
to get a lot of use

out of that pool table.

♪ Dance hall days ♪

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