Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,182 --> 00:00:01,181
ANDRE: No, no, no,you're gonna love this place.
2
00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:04,064
It's not Brazilian,
it's Portuguese.
3
00:00:04,184 --> 00:00:05,183
What's the difference?
4
00:00:05,235 --> 00:00:06,518
There's no cassava.
5
00:00:06,603 --> 00:00:08,353
Guys, you're gonna love it.
All right...
6
00:00:08,405 --> 00:00:09,604
(clearing his throat) I'm...
7
00:00:09,690 --> 00:00:12,074
I believe I have the
6:30 to 7:30 shift.
8
00:00:12,159 --> 00:00:14,526
You do. Andre, it's time to go.
9
00:00:14,578 --> 00:00:16,361
Have you guys met?
Pete, this is Andre.
10
00:00:16,447 --> 00:00:18,624
He's putting his weird little
wizzle into your ex-wife.
11
00:00:18,700 --> 00:00:19,815
You know what?
It's fine.
12
00:00:19,901 --> 00:00:21,784
I'm gonna leave.
I have a date anyway with...
13
00:00:21,819 --> 00:00:23,452
Uh-uh, dah, dah, dah.
Well, can I at least just tell you
14
00:00:23,488 --> 00:00:24,904
that it's a pop-up
restaurant celebrating cumin?
15
00:00:24,989 --> 00:00:26,289
No. No, no, you cannot.
Okay, well, it is.
16
00:00:26,324 --> 00:00:27,290
Thank you.
17
00:00:27,325 --> 00:00:28,658
Can we please make sure
18
00:00:28,743 --> 00:00:30,584
that person is gone
before I arrive? Thank you.
19
00:00:30,662 --> 00:00:32,161
I will try,
but, I mean, it's August.
20
00:00:32,246 --> 00:00:34,080
How long is this thing
gonna go on for?
21
00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:35,631
Pete, Ndamukong Suh
is on the Dolphins.
22
00:00:35,667 --> 00:00:37,166
Jimmy Graham is on the Seahawks.
23
00:00:37,251 --> 00:00:40,169
Meegan is on the Andres.
Don't want to hear it.
24
00:00:40,254 --> 00:00:42,305
Maybe you're just upset that
she's upgraded at the position.
25
00:00:42,340 --> 00:00:44,223
No, I'm upset because this whole
thing makes me look bad, okay?
26
00:00:44,309 --> 00:00:46,008
Years ago,
27
00:00:46,060 --> 00:00:48,594
I climbed Mount Meegan
when that meant something.
28
00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:50,980
But now, apparently,
anyone with an Ed Hardy parka
29
00:00:51,015 --> 00:00:54,684
and, like, DeLe?n Tequila
carabiners can just mount her?
30
00:00:54,769 --> 00:00:57,737
Well, maybe it's just that you
and Andre are Meegan's type.
31
00:00:57,822 --> 00:00:59,855
That's my problem.
Her being interested in him
32
00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:01,941
makes me retroactively douchey.
33
00:01:02,026 --> 00:01:03,693
No. No.
No. Peter, you are actively douchey.
34
00:01:03,745 --> 00:01:05,094
Yeah, proactively.
35
00:01:05,214 --> 00:01:10,748
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
36
00:01:10,868 --> 00:01:12,785
Coming in hot.
Gorgeous.
37
00:01:12,870 --> 00:01:14,203
KEVIN: All right, now
that we got food,
38
00:01:14,255 --> 00:01:16,293
it is time to pick
the draft order.
39
00:01:16,413 --> 00:01:19,091
Let's do this!
Hey, Russell, how you been, man?
40
00:01:19,177 --> 00:01:20,710
How's that sex addiction
treating you?
41
00:01:20,795 --> 00:01:22,011
Just trying to take it
one day at a time,
42
00:01:22,046 --> 00:01:23,295
which is all I can do.
43
00:01:23,381 --> 00:01:24,880
That and, of course, stay away
44
00:01:24,932 --> 00:01:27,183
from cheese, especially
Manchego, that... temptress.
45
00:01:27,218 --> 00:01:28,968
KEVIN:
Let's get back
46
00:01:29,053 --> 00:01:30,186
to the draft order, please.
47
00:01:30,221 --> 00:01:32,521
Your champion... has arrived!
48
00:01:32,557 --> 00:01:34,140
Please put away
that unsightly helmet.
49
00:01:34,225 --> 00:01:35,641
This year, we'll be
50
00:01:35,727 --> 00:01:37,610
choosing our order
from one of my
51
00:01:37,695 --> 00:01:39,028
lucky fedoras.
52
00:01:39,063 --> 00:01:40,503
Kevin, tell Andre
we don't need a hat
53
00:01:40,565 --> 00:01:41,647
and that I will be
drafting first
54
00:01:41,733 --> 00:01:43,065
because you all lied to me.
55
00:01:43,151 --> 00:01:44,567
ANDRE: Kevin, can you
please tell Peter
56
00:01:44,619 --> 00:01:46,786
that I did not lie to him about
my relationship with Meegan.
57
00:01:46,871 --> 00:01:50,039
And my relationship has nothing
to do with our draft order.
58
00:01:50,074 --> 00:01:51,675
Ruxin, would you ask Andre
to forgive me?
59
00:01:51,709 --> 00:01:54,229
I have a hard time trusting him
when he put a knife in my heart.
60
00:01:54,245 --> 00:01:55,494
Andre, Pete says
61
00:01:55,580 --> 00:01:57,046
that that sweatshirt vest
makes you look
62
00:01:57,081 --> 00:01:58,247
like a moderately successful
63
00:01:58,299 --> 00:01:59,749
Vine star.
64
00:01:59,801 --> 00:02:01,250
Ruxin, please tell Peter
65
00:02:01,302 --> 00:02:03,302
that a moderately successful
Vine star is still a force
66
00:02:03,388 --> 00:02:05,588
to be reckoned with
in this new social media world.
67
00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:07,139
No.
Okay, Jenny, will you explain the...?
68
00:02:07,225 --> 00:02:08,557
No.
Kev...
69
00:02:08,593 --> 00:02:09,514
What do you think, bro?
70
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,476
Okay, how about this?
71
00:02:10,561 --> 00:02:11,727
Will you sing a battle rap?
72
00:02:11,763 --> 00:02:13,095
You're smarter than that, Andre.
73
00:02:13,181 --> 00:02:14,647
Put your phone away.
It'll be like you're in 8 Mile.
74
00:02:14,732 --> 00:02:16,649
Hey, guys.
PETE: Thank you, Taco.
75
00:02:16,734 --> 00:02:18,734
I appreciate it very much.
76
00:02:18,770 --> 00:02:20,403
Andre, can you tell Pete
that choosing
77
00:02:20,438 --> 00:02:21,687
him over Andre
was a no-brainer?
78
00:02:21,773 --> 00:02:23,906
Works for me.
79
00:02:23,941 --> 00:02:25,908
KEVIN: This year I
want to propose a few
80
00:02:25,943 --> 00:02:28,360
rule changes. We talked about
doing an auction-style draft.
81
00:02:28,446 --> 00:02:30,279
Correct? Everyone's into that?
ALL: Yes.
82
00:02:30,364 --> 00:02:31,280
PETE: Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah. Good.
83
00:02:31,332 --> 00:02:32,782
And the draft is September 5.
84
00:02:32,867 --> 00:02:34,387
Mark your calendars,
because this year,
85
00:02:34,419 --> 00:02:36,452
we're going back
86
00:02:36,504 --> 00:02:39,288
in time to the 1890s to
87
00:02:39,373 --> 00:02:40,923
the Gilded Age!
88
00:02:40,958 --> 00:02:42,007
Ugh.
Ugh. No.
89
00:02:42,093 --> 00:02:43,375
Theme draft?
90
00:02:43,461 --> 00:02:46,462
And everyone must come
in appropriate attire.
91
00:02:46,547 --> 00:02:47,763
No.
Costumes?
92
00:02:47,799 --> 00:02:49,965
I love the '90s.
I'm gonna go as Kurt Cobain.
93
00:02:50,051 --> 00:02:52,134
No, no. 1890s.
94
00:02:52,220 --> 00:02:53,886
You know, the draft is
my favorite day of the year,
95
00:02:53,971 --> 00:02:55,387
and now I don't even want
to attend.
96
00:02:55,473 --> 00:02:56,889
Ruxin, would you please
tell Andre
97
00:02:56,974 --> 00:02:58,474
he's the Grinch
of fantasy football?
98
00:02:58,526 --> 00:03:00,142
Andre, Pete says that you are
99
00:03:00,228 --> 00:03:03,646
the metrosexual plastic
surgeon who stole draft day.
100
00:03:03,731 --> 00:03:06,031
I assume you all will be there, though.
Oh, no.
101
00:03:06,117 --> 00:03:07,867
I'm gonna have to do
it over speakerphone.
102
00:03:07,952 --> 00:03:09,485
I would love to spend
15 rounds with you guys
103
00:03:09,537 --> 00:03:12,121
in period costumes,
but I'm supposed to go
104
00:03:12,156 --> 00:03:13,957
to Wisconsin that weekend
to see some friends.
105
00:03:13,958 --> 00:03:16,459
Wisconsin? A lot
of cheese there, huh?
106
00:03:16,494 --> 00:03:18,494
Is there? I-I wouldn't know.
107
00:03:18,579 --> 00:03:19,745
There's a whole week there
108
00:03:19,831 --> 00:03:21,881
called Cheese-a-Palooza,
I believe.
109
00:03:21,966 --> 00:03:23,549
Is that a real event? Because
no one told me about that.
110
00:03:23,634 --> 00:03:25,000
TACO:
I don't understand.
111
00:03:25,086 --> 00:03:27,169
You specifically told me you
were going tor Cheese-a-Palooza.
112
00:03:27,255 --> 00:03:29,338
(whispering):
Shut your mouth, Taco.
113
00:03:31,559 --> 00:03:33,259
PETE: This whole thing
makes no sense.
114
00:03:33,344 --> 00:03:34,810
How is she with him?
115
00:03:34,846 --> 00:03:37,012
How does she not know
the Andre we know?
116
00:03:37,064 --> 00:03:38,848
The same one who video blogs
about Don Henley and magic...
117
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,183
Oh.
...and gets his arm stuck in toilets and
118
00:03:41,269 --> 00:03:43,149
ends up in an abusive
relationship with his cat.
119
00:03:43,154 --> 00:03:44,603
Don't worry about it. She's
gonna find all that out.
120
00:03:44,689 --> 00:03:46,021
I'm... Well, I...
Gentlemen,
121
00:03:46,073 --> 00:03:48,324
as you know, I've been
incubating my next big idea
122
00:03:48,359 --> 00:03:49,525
in my Taco Tank.
123
00:03:49,610 --> 00:03:51,443
You mean hot boxing
in a storage container?
124
00:03:51,529 --> 00:03:53,162
After careful study of eating,
125
00:03:53,197 --> 00:03:56,365
Taco Tank has discovered that
over the past few centuries,
126
00:03:56,417 --> 00:03:59,034
there have been many
advances in food technology.
127
00:03:59,120 --> 00:04:01,003
However, there have
been very few advances
128
00:04:01,038 --> 00:04:03,088
in napkin technology.
129
00:04:03,174 --> 00:04:04,540
Oh, I thought
this was gonna be stupid.
130
00:04:04,592 --> 00:04:07,209
Introducing...
the napkin glove.
131
00:04:07,295 --> 00:04:08,711
Put it on when
you're having a meal.
132
00:04:08,763 --> 00:04:09,929
And what's that?
133
00:04:10,014 --> 00:04:11,547
You got a little spaghetti sauce
on your mouth?
134
00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,716
No problem.
135
00:04:13,768 --> 00:04:15,885
Tada! All clean.
136
00:04:15,937 --> 00:04:17,720
Pathetic patent pending.
But that's not all.
137
00:04:17,772 --> 00:04:21,140
It comes in a variety
of styles and colors.
138
00:04:21,225 --> 00:04:23,309
PETE:
Great work, Steve No Jobs.
139
00:04:23,394 --> 00:04:24,894
So, Kevin, are you busy tonight?
You want to do something?
140
00:04:24,979 --> 00:04:28,614
I can't tonight. I have
a school fund-raiser.
141
00:04:28,699 --> 00:04:30,399
ALL:
Cheers.
142
00:04:30,451 --> 00:04:32,368
To our first couples dinner.
143
00:04:32,403 --> 00:04:34,703
ALL: Cheers. Cheers, everybody.
144
00:04:34,739 --> 00:04:36,488
Amazing. I think I have to do
a toast to our first toast.
145
00:04:36,574 --> 00:04:38,541
Yeah, I can do...
toast to our first toast.
146
00:04:38,576 --> 00:04:40,125
Cheers!
ALL: Cheers.
147
00:04:40,211 --> 00:04:42,211
Did you talk to Pete
about tonight?
148
00:04:42,246 --> 00:04:43,879
No. This night never happened.
149
00:04:43,915 --> 00:04:45,414
I wish this night
never happened.
150
00:04:45,466 --> 00:04:47,426
I told him we were
at a parent-teacher conference.
151
00:04:47,468 --> 00:04:49,468
I told him we were at a fund-raiser.
Why would you tell him that?
152
00:04:49,554 --> 00:04:51,303
Because I want him to
think we have money.
153
00:04:51,389 --> 00:04:53,839
Meegan, it makes me
so happy to see you happy.
154
00:04:53,925 --> 00:04:55,140
Yes.
Oh, thank you. You know what?
155
00:04:55,226 --> 00:04:56,809
I really am.
I am. We just have
156
00:04:56,894 --> 00:04:58,844
so much in common. We both...
I know.
157
00:04:58,930 --> 00:05:00,596
...love costumes.
Oh, my gosh.
158
00:05:00,648 --> 00:05:02,648
We love theme nights,
and we love...
159
00:05:02,733 --> 00:05:04,400
BOTH: Accents.
SOFIA: Oh.
160
00:05:04,435 --> 00:05:06,018
Oh.
Oh, we're super good at it.
161
00:05:06,103 --> 00:05:08,437
She puts my Cockney to shame.
162
00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:10,189
It's not the only
place she puts it.
163
00:05:10,274 --> 00:05:11,824
Actually, you guys,
164
00:05:11,909 --> 00:05:13,492
the thing that I love most...
Mm-hmm.
165
00:05:13,578 --> 00:05:14,827
...about this guy...
166
00:05:14,912 --> 00:05:16,195
His multiple malpractice suits?
167
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:17,401
We're both sapiosexual.
Yeah.
168
00:05:17,415 --> 00:05:18,530
BOTH:
Sapiosexual.
169
00:05:18,616 --> 00:05:20,115
I'm sorry.
What's that?
170
00:05:20,201 --> 00:05:21,283
Oh, it's when one
partner likes to stick
171
00:05:21,335 --> 00:05:22,495
their finger...
No. No, no no.
172
00:05:22,536 --> 00:05:23,953
That's what I thought it was.
173
00:05:24,038 --> 00:05:26,839
Sapiosexual means
that the most attractive feature
174
00:05:26,924 --> 00:05:30,259
that we find in each other
is our intelligence.
175
00:05:30,294 --> 00:05:33,429
BOTH:
Mmm... boom.
176
00:05:33,464 --> 00:05:36,599
Is it possible that she has
made Andre more annoying?
177
00:05:36,634 --> 00:05:38,467
I think it is.
178
00:05:38,519 --> 00:05:40,686
Yes. Boom!
ANDRE: Hey, guys, guys?
179
00:05:40,771 --> 00:05:43,055
A little fearless feedback--
it's not gonna work.
180
00:05:43,140 --> 00:05:44,690
No.
Yeah, not with you two.
181
00:05:44,775 --> 00:05:46,108
What? ANDRE: Yeah.
182
00:05:46,143 --> 00:05:47,943
Bread for the table?
Oh.
183
00:05:47,979 --> 00:05:49,778
No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.
184
00:05:49,814 --> 00:05:51,694
You're never gonna lose
weight eating like that.
185
00:05:51,699 --> 00:05:53,032
Ruxin, what's wrong?
No bread?
186
00:05:53,117 --> 00:05:55,284
He's just a little gordito.
187
00:05:55,319 --> 00:05:57,236
We can't see
his wee-wee.
188
00:05:57,321 --> 00:05:58,654
We can see it.
MEEGAN: So,
189
00:05:58,739 --> 00:06:01,073
are you guys excited?
Because it's almost draft time!
190
00:06:01,158 --> 00:06:02,458
ANDRE:
What, what, what?!
191
00:06:02,493 --> 00:06:05,160
I can't believe that you are
into fantasy football now.
192
00:06:05,246 --> 00:06:07,079
So into it.
That's crazy.
193
00:06:07,164 --> 00:06:08,714
Sofia, you've got to do it.
194
00:06:08,799 --> 00:06:10,749
Really?
Yes. Nah.
195
00:06:10,835 --> 00:06:12,167
Oh, my God, it's so much fun!
196
00:06:12,219 --> 00:06:13,802
What do you think?
Nah.
197
00:06:13,838 --> 00:06:15,587
Guys, couples league.
(gasps)
198
00:06:15,673 --> 00:06:17,339
Aah.
MEEGAN AND ANDRE: Yes!
199
00:06:17,425 --> 00:06:19,174
BOTH:
That would be so fun!
200
00:06:19,260 --> 00:06:20,342
Aah!
ANDRE: My lady
201
00:06:20,394 --> 00:06:22,011
kills it in fantasy.
Oh.
202
00:06:22,096 --> 00:06:23,679
Honey, drop some knowledge
on them.
203
00:06:23,764 --> 00:06:26,432
I think that you guys are insane
to go running back,
204
00:06:26,517 --> 00:06:27,683
running back with your
205
00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,018
first two picks.
206
00:06:29,070 --> 00:06:31,353
What I would suggest
doing is going
207
00:06:31,439 --> 00:06:33,355
wide receiver, wide receiver.
208
00:06:33,441 --> 00:06:35,157
Where was that shit
seven years ago?
209
00:06:35,192 --> 00:06:36,659
ANDRE: You should check
out her mock drafts.
210
00:06:36,694 --> 00:06:38,077
She's killing it.
JENNY: You know, Meegan,
211
00:06:38,162 --> 00:06:40,696
Andre was telling us about
his plans for the draft.
212
00:06:40,781 --> 00:06:42,781
We didn't realize you two
were so into the Gilded Age.
213
00:06:42,867 --> 00:06:44,083
MEEGAN AND ANDRE:
Ah.
214
00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:46,201
The Gilded Age.
Age.
215
00:06:46,253 --> 00:06:47,786
MEEGAN:
We just love it!
216
00:06:47,872 --> 00:06:49,312
Oh, and you know
what? Andre has been
217
00:06:49,340 --> 00:06:51,206
studying the ancient art
of bartitsu.
218
00:06:51,292 --> 00:06:52,458
ANDRE AND MEEGAN:
Bartitsu.
219
00:06:52,543 --> 00:06:54,023
I can't put my finger
on the language,
220
00:06:54,045 --> 00:06:56,545
but I believe it means
"ultimate sadness."
221
00:06:56,630 --> 00:06:58,547
More like
"ultimate gentlemen fighting."
222
00:06:58,632 --> 00:07:01,100
See, it's the Victorian art
of self-defense.
223
00:07:01,185 --> 00:07:03,519
And a true gentlemen
must be able to defend himself
224
00:07:03,554 --> 00:07:06,055
only with the items
on his person.
225
00:07:06,107 --> 00:07:07,606
Be they...
A cane.
226
00:07:07,692 --> 00:07:09,058
Be they...
A parasol.
227
00:07:09,110 --> 00:07:10,943
Be they...
A snuffbox. (sniffs)
228
00:07:11,028 --> 00:07:12,027
So it's like kung fool.
229
00:07:12,063 --> 00:07:13,729
Or tae kwon douche.
230
00:07:13,814 --> 00:07:16,031
Ooh, dinner is served.
A toast to our first dinn...
231
00:07:16,067 --> 00:07:18,233
Oh.
No. No, no. No, no.
232
00:07:18,319 --> 00:07:19,985
Fresh ground pepper, sir?
233
00:07:20,071 --> 00:07:22,621
Uh, yes, please.
Say when.
234
00:07:22,707 --> 00:07:24,990
You know what? Why don't
you just leave it here?
235
00:07:25,076 --> 00:07:26,241
I can't do that,
sir, but I'd be happy
236
00:07:26,293 --> 00:07:27,409
to give you as
much as you'd like.
237
00:07:27,495 --> 00:07:28,911
Well, I might want more later,
238
00:07:28,996 --> 00:07:31,080
so how about you just leave
the grinder on the table,
239
00:07:31,165 --> 00:07:32,631
and I'll just use it at my whim?
240
00:07:32,717 --> 00:07:34,216
Oh, if you want more
pepper later, you can use
241
00:07:34,251 --> 00:07:35,751
the pepper that's on the table.
That's what it's there for.
242
00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,970
That's the trash pepper, and
that's why it's on the table.
243
00:07:38,055 --> 00:07:39,421
You got the good stuff,
and I want to be
244
00:07:39,473 --> 00:07:40,639
in control of the good stuff.
245
00:07:40,725 --> 00:07:42,508
Well, I can't leave
it here. I'm sorry.
246
00:07:42,593 --> 00:07:44,593
Honey, I think you've had enough pepper.
Quiet.
247
00:07:44,678 --> 00:07:46,929
I see that waitress right there.
She's grating cheese.
248
00:07:47,014 --> 00:07:48,263
Am I gonna have to go through
the same rigmarole
249
00:07:48,349 --> 00:07:49,765
when I want some cheese?
250
00:07:49,817 --> 00:07:51,100
With all due respect, sir,
251
00:07:51,185 --> 00:07:53,185
going to a restaurant
is itself a rigmarole.
252
00:07:53,270 --> 00:07:55,310
If you don't want the pomp
and circumstance of being
253
00:07:55,322 --> 00:07:57,072
served by professional
wait staff, you can go home
254
00:07:57,108 --> 00:07:59,408
and eat cat food over the toilet
for all I care,
255
00:07:59,443 --> 00:08:01,323
but while you're here,
I will grind your pepper.
256
00:08:02,530 --> 00:08:04,613
You know what, I've overreacted.
257
00:08:04,665 --> 00:08:07,449
You're the king of the grinder.
258
00:08:07,501 --> 00:08:08,784
I'd like a little more, please.
259
00:08:08,869 --> 00:08:10,119
Say when, sir.
260
00:08:12,123 --> 00:08:13,705
No!
261
00:08:13,791 --> 00:08:15,632
I say when. I say when.
I say when. I say when.
262
00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:17,843
I say when! I say when!
I say when! I say when!
263
00:08:20,464 --> 00:08:22,297
(exhales)
264
00:08:25,778 --> 00:08:28,571
Would anyone else like any fresh
ground pepper on their entree?
265
00:08:28,795 --> 00:08:30,353
No.
266
00:08:31,183 --> 00:08:32,432
That waiter was a psychopath, the way
Oh, my God.
267
00:08:32,517 --> 00:08:34,363
he kept staring at us all night.
268
00:08:34,483 --> 00:08:36,316
I wanted pepper on everything,
269
00:08:36,368 --> 00:08:38,044
and I was too afraid to
ask him for...
270
00:08:38,164 --> 00:08:39,539
Oh, my God!
Me, too. Oh, my God!
271
00:08:39,863 --> 00:08:42,893
Sorry to scare you.
It's just me, the seventh wheel.
272
00:08:43,013 --> 00:08:45,582
Pete...
No... No, Pete.
273
00:08:45,702 --> 00:08:47,118
That's not true. No?
No.
274
00:08:47,203 --> 00:08:48,119
Where you been?
275
00:08:48,204 --> 00:08:49,537
We were...
we were on a date.
276
00:08:49,589 --> 00:08:50,872
We were dating.
277
00:08:50,924 --> 00:08:52,290
Oh, really?
'Cause I thought it was...
278
00:08:52,375 --> 00:08:53,374
a parent-teacher conference.
279
00:08:53,426 --> 00:08:55,510
Or maybe
a fund-raiser.
280
00:08:55,545 --> 00:08:57,211
I mean, come on, Kevin, you
don't have that kind of money.
281
00:08:57,263 --> 00:08:59,514
How could you go
to dinner with them?
282
00:08:59,549 --> 00:09:01,349
What's your excuse? Let me
hear it. It better be good.
283
00:09:01,384 --> 00:09:03,718
Well, they invited us.
I was just hungry.
284
00:09:03,803 --> 00:09:05,853
You just bought yourselves two
one-way tickets off Team Pete.
285
00:09:05,889 --> 00:09:07,055
Now go to your room.
286
00:09:07,107 --> 00:09:09,607
What? What, you're
just gonna hang out here?
287
00:09:09,693 --> 00:09:11,059
Well, SportCenter's on.
He said go
288
00:09:11,144 --> 00:09:11,859
to your room!
Oh, my God!
289
00:09:11,895 --> 00:09:12,944
And when Tall Guy says,
290
00:09:13,029 --> 00:09:13,861
"Go to your room,"
you go to your room.
291
00:09:13,897 --> 00:09:15,029
You're in trouble.
292
00:09:15,065 --> 00:09:16,197
What are you doing here, Rafi?
293
00:09:16,232 --> 00:09:17,482
Um, just hanging out
294
00:09:17,567 --> 00:09:19,534
behind the couch, like normal.
295
00:09:19,569 --> 00:09:22,870
But I'm also mad, because I
wasn't invited to dinner either.
296
00:09:22,906 --> 00:09:24,572
Rafi, it was a couples dinner.
297
00:09:24,657 --> 00:09:26,290
So? I could've brought
my very serious girlfriend.
298
00:09:26,376 --> 00:09:27,325
What?
Who?
299
00:09:27,410 --> 00:09:29,243
Have you guys not met Margaret?
300
00:09:29,295 --> 00:09:30,328
Oh, my God.
301
00:09:30,413 --> 00:09:32,246
It's very serious.
302
00:09:32,298 --> 00:09:34,248
But is it consensual?
303
00:09:34,334 --> 00:09:35,833
This was.
304
00:09:35,919 --> 00:09:38,052
This wasn't.
PETE: Oh, God.
305
00:09:38,088 --> 00:09:39,971
Okay. Let's go to bed.
You know what, let's all go to bed.
306
00:09:40,056 --> 00:09:40,886
All go in the room.
307
00:09:41,006 --> 00:09:42,630
We talked about it afterwards,
and she said it felt good.
308
00:09:43,059 --> 00:09:46,427
They loved you.
309
00:09:49,265 --> 00:09:50,431
Ooh.
310
00:09:53,403 --> 00:09:56,437
"Andre and Meegan invite you
to the Draft of Innocence"?
311
00:09:56,523 --> 00:09:59,190
"Prepare yourself
for an Oscar Wilde night.
312
00:09:59,275 --> 00:10:02,110
Please RSVP for you
and your guest"?
313
00:10:02,162 --> 00:10:04,028
A plus-one?
314
00:10:04,114 --> 00:10:05,830
I got to bring Sofia?
315
00:10:05,915 --> 00:10:10,001
Andre, you rancid ass cookie.
316
00:10:10,086 --> 00:10:12,003
SOFIA:
During the draft,
317
00:10:12,088 --> 00:10:13,671
you have to make sure
that you take the time
318
00:10:13,757 --> 00:10:15,790
to explain everything to me.
Uh-huh.
319
00:10:15,842 --> 00:10:18,176
'Cause I really want to help.
I really want to participate.
320
00:10:18,261 --> 00:10:20,044
And you've done, like,
a little bit of research?
321
00:10:20,130 --> 00:10:22,930
No, I haven't done research.
It's just a football draft.
322
00:10:22,966 --> 00:10:23,926
(chuckles) You do a pick,
323
00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:25,967
then I do a pick.
324
00:10:26,019 --> 00:10:28,803
So you want to alternate picks.
Yeah. Also, you have to promise me
325
00:10:28,888 --> 00:10:30,605
that if I get bored in the
middle of it or if I don't like
326
00:10:30,640 --> 00:10:33,808
the food or something like that,
that we can just go to dinner.
327
00:10:33,860 --> 00:10:35,476
So you want to leave
in the middle of the draft.
328
00:10:35,562 --> 00:10:38,062
Yeah. Your friends can do
that picky thing for you.
329
00:10:38,148 --> 00:10:40,064
And who would you suggest
would pick my team?
330
00:10:40,150 --> 00:10:43,117
Oh. You get Andre to do it. He
loves you, and he's the champ.
331
00:10:43,153 --> 00:10:45,486
I'm gonna get dressed.
It's gonna be fun.
332
00:10:45,572 --> 00:10:47,155
And we're gonna be a little late.
What?
333
00:10:47,207 --> 00:10:47,955
(phone rings)
Yeah. If we miss the first three rounds,
334
00:10:47,991 --> 00:10:49,323
there's still 12 left.
335
00:10:49,409 --> 00:10:51,826
Hola, Mami. ?C?mo est??
336
00:10:51,911 --> 00:10:53,294
Yeah, 'cause there are
no important picks
337
00:10:53,329 --> 00:10:55,463
in the first three rounds.
(sobbing)
338
00:10:57,133 --> 00:10:59,417
I need my stress meds.
339
00:10:59,502 --> 00:11:02,920
Mmm. Mmm.
340
00:11:03,006 --> 00:11:05,473
Mmm. Mmm. Hmm?
No! Papi!
341
00:11:05,508 --> 00:11:07,675
(spitting)
342
00:11:09,062 --> 00:11:11,679
My papi. My papi had a stroke.
343
00:11:11,764 --> 00:11:13,014
What? Oh.
He's in the hospital. Mami wants me
344
00:11:13,099 --> 00:11:15,066
to go to Puerto Rico
right now with Geoffrey.
345
00:11:15,151 --> 00:11:18,352
So does that mean that
you're gonna miss the draft?
346
00:11:18,404 --> 00:11:21,489
Papi's in the hospital! I'm gonna
have to do all the picks on my own?
347
00:11:21,524 --> 00:11:24,442
(sobbing): Oh, God!
(crying)
348
00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:26,410
(whispers):
Thank you.
349
00:11:26,496 --> 00:11:28,946
Okay, well, let's get you
packed, have some good-bye sex,
350
00:11:29,032 --> 00:11:30,865
and go to the airport.
351
00:11:30,917 --> 00:11:33,000
Let's not worry
about whether you finish or not.
352
00:11:33,036 --> 00:11:35,770
You have so much on your mind.
353
00:11:38,840 --> 00:11:41,173
(old-timey music playing)
354
00:11:42,477 --> 00:11:44,010
MEEGAN AND ANDRE:
Welcome
355
00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,583
to the Draft of Innocence.
356
00:11:45,709 --> 00:11:48,043
There'll be romance...
Intrigue...
357
00:11:48,128 --> 00:11:50,512
And old-timey drinks.
Old-timey drinks.
358
00:11:50,547 --> 00:11:52,214
Andre, you couldn't rent out
the whole place?
359
00:11:52,299 --> 00:11:54,383
I ran into someone I work
with at the valet. Taco,
360
00:11:54,435 --> 00:11:55,884
did you perm your hair?
361
00:11:55,936 --> 00:11:58,177
Andre had his hair guy sent
to my apartment this morning.
362
00:11:58,222 --> 00:11:59,638
What? Why do you have
a hair guy?
363
00:11:59,723 --> 00:12:00,972
I love Boris.
Oh, gosh.
364
00:12:01,058 --> 00:12:03,725
And your costume is amazing.
365
00:12:03,811 --> 00:12:06,278
There's no zipper in the
pants. So I just go, right?
366
00:12:06,363 --> 00:12:07,896
No, Taco, we have to return them.
367
00:12:07,981 --> 00:12:10,615
Oh. Well, I'd return 'em in a plastic bag.
Okay. Well,
368
00:12:10,701 --> 00:12:12,401
there's Sazerac in the lounge.
369
00:12:12,453 --> 00:12:13,339
Enjoy yourself.
370
00:12:13,451 --> 00:12:15,001
Later I'm gonna clean
your urethra with this thing.
371
00:12:15,086 --> 00:12:16,202
Say it in a Cockney accent.
372
00:12:16,287 --> 00:12:17,620
MEEGAN:
Pete!
373
00:12:17,672 --> 00:12:19,789
Hi! Welcome.
Hello.
374
00:12:19,841 --> 00:12:22,091
Listen, guys,
I want to apologize
375
00:12:22,126 --> 00:12:24,043
for how off I've been
these past few months. I mean,
376
00:12:24,128 --> 00:12:26,262
it's been a lot
for me to digest,
377
00:12:26,297 --> 00:12:29,181
and I just want to say
I wish you guys the best.
378
00:12:29,267 --> 00:12:31,767
Thank you. That's so great.
Oh.
379
00:12:31,803 --> 00:12:34,604
Okay. Oh, cane, cane, cane!
Get in here. Get in here. Get in here.
380
00:12:34,639 --> 00:12:36,639
Andre, cane, cane. Okay, okay.
All right.
381
00:12:36,724 --> 00:12:40,643
- Anyhow, the way I see it is,
this is a draft. Let's have fun. - Exactly.
382
00:12:40,695 --> 00:12:43,646
- So much fun. - All right, guys, see
you inside. Oh, yeah, no, uh, one thing.
383
00:12:43,698 --> 00:12:45,615
The invite had a plus-one, so...
Yes.
384
00:12:45,650 --> 00:12:47,366
I brought a date,
if that's okay.
385
00:12:47,452 --> 00:12:49,652
That's fantastic.
Love it.
386
00:12:49,737 --> 00:12:52,321
Ah! What's up, dildos?!
(chuckles)
387
00:12:52,407 --> 00:12:53,873
Rafi. What?
388
00:12:53,958 --> 00:12:55,124
Who are you?
389
00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:56,375
Uh, that's actually
my girlfriend.
390
00:12:56,461 --> 00:12:58,141
For the evening, right?
How much you paying
391
00:12:58,162 --> 00:13:00,246
for this experience?
I'm not paying for any of it.
392
00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:02,381
What? No.
My name is Meegan.
393
00:13:02,467 --> 00:13:04,050
Hello, Meegan.
394
00:13:04,135 --> 00:13:05,217
Me Rafi.
395
00:13:05,303 --> 00:13:06,419
(chuckles) (chuckles)
396
00:13:06,504 --> 00:13:08,304
Tell you what,
why don't we go get some food.
397
00:13:08,339 --> 00:13:09,982
What were you saying about
those oysters on the way over?
398
00:13:10,102 --> 00:13:10,855
Ooh, I love oysters.
399
00:13:10,975 --> 00:13:12,675
'Cause it's like little
salty pussies on a shell.
400
00:13:12,727 --> 00:13:13,643
PETE:
Mmm.
401
00:13:13,678 --> 00:13:15,678
(licking sounds)
402
00:13:15,763 --> 00:13:18,347
Just pick 'em up and I,
like, get in there, like, mmm.
403
00:13:18,399 --> 00:13:21,183
Mmm. But I don't eat 'em.
'Cause they're gross.
404
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:22,267
So I put 'em back.
405
00:13:22,387 --> 00:13:24,004
Okay. You know what, why don't
you go into the sitting room.
406
00:13:24,124 --> 00:13:25,237
Get-get into the sitting room.
Get to it, buddy.
407
00:13:25,323 --> 00:13:27,106
All right. I'll
talk to you later.
408
00:13:27,191 --> 00:13:29,859
Thanks for inviting me, bro.
Hey, who wants to fight?!
409
00:13:29,911 --> 00:13:32,862
I know that you think this is
a hilarious prank, but it's not.
410
00:13:32,947 --> 00:13:34,613
It's gonna backfire
right in your face.
411
00:13:34,699 --> 00:13:35,865
I don't have a problem
with your date.
412
00:13:35,917 --> 00:13:36,999
You shouldn't have a problem
with mine.
413
00:13:37,035 --> 00:13:38,067
Mmm.
Enjoy.
414
00:13:38,136 --> 00:13:39,268
Mmm.
415
00:13:39,337 --> 00:13:42,421
416
00:13:42,507 --> 00:13:43,673
Hey, guys.
JENNY: Ruxin,
417
00:13:43,708 --> 00:13:45,758
I'm so sorry about
your father-in-law.
418
00:13:45,843 --> 00:13:47,927
Yeah, he gave us a real scare.
419
00:13:48,012 --> 00:13:49,378
Thought I was gonna have
to draft with my wife here.
420
00:13:49,464 --> 00:13:50,429
(chuckles)
421
00:13:50,515 --> 00:13:51,630
Send Sofia our best.
Yeah.
422
00:13:51,716 --> 00:13:53,966
We all cope in our own way.
423
00:13:54,052 --> 00:13:56,052
All right, it's time to draft.
424
00:13:56,137 --> 00:13:56,936
Russell's gonna be
on speakerphone,
425
00:13:57,021 --> 00:13:58,604
but I have not heard from Chuck.
426
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:01,140
Actually, he just sent a video.
Check it out.
427
00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:02,975
Hey, guys. So sorry
428
00:14:03,061 --> 00:14:04,610
but I'm gonna have to bow out
of the draft.
429
00:14:04,696 --> 00:14:08,230
As you can see, I'm dealing
with some other issues.
430
00:14:08,282 --> 00:14:09,615
What?
Oh, no.
431
00:14:09,701 --> 00:14:10,900
I like the hat.
Yeah, I, uh,
432
00:14:10,985 --> 00:14:13,202
felt a sharp pain
every time I sat in gum.
433
00:14:13,237 --> 00:14:15,654
Doctors found a lump in my gum.
Turns out I have cancer
434
00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:20,543
of the gum. Uh, the doctors have
given my gum six months to live.
435
00:14:20,578 --> 00:14:21,744
He's gonna lose his gum.
436
00:14:21,796 --> 00:14:23,079
Yeah, pack'll be empty.
437
00:14:23,131 --> 00:14:24,246
I am bored.
So I'm gonna,
438
00:14:24,332 --> 00:14:25,965
you know,
take that gum everywhere.
439
00:14:26,050 --> 00:14:28,084
(chuckles) You know, I'm gonna
sit in the-the pyramids,
440
00:14:28,169 --> 00:14:30,836
the Great Wall of China,
and, you know, God willing,
441
00:14:30,922 --> 00:14:32,304
Ruxin's sweet, sweet head
442
00:14:32,390 --> 00:14:34,590
one last time.
It's his Make-A-Wish.
443
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:35,674
Go and make that happen, Ruxin.
444
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:36,809
Enjoy the draft.
445
00:14:36,894 --> 00:14:39,011
Sit in some for me, huh?
446
00:14:39,097 --> 00:14:41,313
That is the most depressing
final wish I've ever heard.
447
00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:42,932
Where we gonna find
an eighth team now?
448
00:14:42,984 --> 00:14:44,066
Fine, I'll join.
JENNY: What?
449
00:14:44,102 --> 00:14:46,402
We don't have time
to find an eighth guy.
450
00:14:46,437 --> 00:14:48,320
Here's a thought. What
if we make it completely random,
451
00:14:48,406 --> 00:14:50,439
like, we just flip a coin
for each decision?
452
00:14:50,525 --> 00:14:53,943
We could call it the Coin, and
we see if we can beat Random.
453
00:14:53,995 --> 00:14:56,245
Any questions we have for that
team, we just flip the Coin.
454
00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,113
It's the Coin, yeah.
Great.
455
00:14:57,198 --> 00:15:00,282
Or we can get a wolf.
456
00:15:00,368 --> 00:15:02,034
(bell tinkles) Dinner is served.
457
00:15:03,788 --> 00:15:05,504
Does the napkin glove go
to the left or the right
458
00:15:05,590 --> 00:15:06,789
of the fish knife?
459
00:15:06,841 --> 00:15:08,340
Taco, no.
460
00:15:08,426 --> 00:15:11,460
As we draft, we dine.
461
00:15:11,512 --> 00:15:14,213
Great. Let's go.
Time to eat.
462
00:15:14,298 --> 00:15:15,681
(indistinct chatter)
463
00:15:15,767 --> 00:15:16,799
It's not a buffet.
464
00:15:16,884 --> 00:15:18,801
It's assigned seating, actually.
465
00:15:18,853 --> 00:15:20,302
Ruxin, that butter
is for the entire table.
466
00:15:20,354 --> 00:15:22,304
You can't take
the whole bottle of wine.
467
00:15:22,356 --> 00:15:23,973
Did everyone get a napkin glove?
468
00:15:24,058 --> 00:15:26,392
What's going on, Raf? No food.
Everything here
469
00:15:26,477 --> 00:15:29,145
looks like shit.
Plus, I bring my own food, bro.
470
00:15:29,230 --> 00:15:30,196
Oh, pocket dog. That's right.
471
00:15:30,281 --> 00:15:31,730
No, this is a crotch-et dog.
472
00:15:31,816 --> 00:15:34,450
Oh, got it.
I keep it in my crotch so it stays hot.
473
00:15:34,519 --> 00:15:37,453
474
00:15:37,488 --> 00:15:41,657
Now, I have only one thing
to say to you.
475
00:15:41,742 --> 00:15:44,160
(speaking indistinctly)
476
00:15:44,212 --> 00:15:45,327
What?
Huh?
477
00:15:45,413 --> 00:15:46,078
I'm sorry, who?
478
00:15:46,164 --> 00:15:48,247
(speaking indistinctly)
479
00:15:48,332 --> 00:15:49,331
Can't understand you.
RUXIN: Can't understand you.
480
00:15:49,417 --> 00:15:51,300
Le'Veon Bell, Le'Veon Bell.
481
00:15:51,335 --> 00:15:52,968
Five dollars.
Five dollars, okay, do I see ten?
482
00:15:53,004 --> 00:15:54,503
Ten.
Ten. Do I see 15?
483
00:15:54,589 --> 00:15:56,088
15. Do I see 20?
20.
484
00:15:56,174 --> 00:15:57,473
I see 20, do I see 25?
25.
485
00:15:57,508 --> 00:15:58,674
I see 25, do I see 30?
486
00:15:58,726 --> 00:15:59,842
KEVIN: $35.
$35.
487
00:15:59,927 --> 00:16:01,093
Do I see 40?
40.
488
00:16:01,179 --> 00:16:02,845
$40. Do I see 45?
489
00:16:02,897 --> 00:16:03,929
A dollar.
A dollar.
490
00:16:04,015 --> 00:16:06,649
Taco, this is not how it works.
491
00:16:06,684 --> 00:16:08,067
Sorry.
What is a dollar?
492
00:16:08,152 --> 00:16:09,935
45.
47.
493
00:16:10,021 --> 00:16:11,604
47. Do I see 50?
494
00:16:12,940 --> 00:16:16,408
Sold to Pete Eckhart!
495
00:16:16,494 --> 00:16:20,029
And now may my sticker maiden
place the name on the board.
496
00:16:20,114 --> 00:16:22,364
Jamaal Charles.
I got my Gronk.
497
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:24,500
My Gronki-Gronk.
LeShaun McCoy, sold
498
00:16:24,535 --> 00:16:26,035
to the Shit Pail!
499
00:16:26,087 --> 00:16:29,121
Oh, yeah!
Suck it!
500
00:16:29,207 --> 00:16:30,673
Oh, my God.
JENNY: Ugh.
501
00:16:30,708 --> 00:16:32,424
We got Amari Cooper.
502
00:16:32,510 --> 00:16:33,876
Nice pick.
503
00:16:33,961 --> 00:16:35,628
Yeah, great pick.
Oh!
504
00:16:35,713 --> 00:16:38,130
Both really know how to find that hole.
Point of order--
505
00:16:38,216 --> 00:16:40,099
when are we gonna stop
doing just football players,
506
00:16:40,184 --> 00:16:41,383
right? Like,
w... I need
507
00:16:41,469 --> 00:16:42,801
a Filipino housemaid and I need
508
00:16:42,887 --> 00:16:44,770
a little Thai
he-she kid for sex.
509
00:16:44,856 --> 00:16:45,888
It's not that kind of auction.
510
00:16:45,973 --> 00:16:47,139
It's not?
This looks like
511
00:16:47,225 --> 00:16:48,891
a bunch of white people
bidding on minorities,
512
00:16:48,976 --> 00:16:51,110
dressed in old-timey clothes.
ANDRE: You, well...
513
00:16:51,195 --> 00:16:52,645
This is a slave auction, Andre.
No.
514
00:16:52,730 --> 00:16:54,010
We're all cool with that, right?
515
00:16:54,031 --> 00:16:55,197
It's not a slave auction.
516
00:16:55,233 --> 00:16:57,233
But everybody's black
on the auction block.
517
00:16:57,285 --> 00:16:58,901
Not everyone is gonna be black.
They...
518
00:16:58,986 --> 00:17:00,452
We're gonna get some kickers in here eventually.
Have you sold
519
00:17:00,538 --> 00:17:01,904
any white people yet?
520
00:17:01,989 --> 00:17:03,239
We're gonna get to it
in the later rounds.
521
00:17:03,291 --> 00:17:05,124
We're...
at running backs.
522
00:17:05,209 --> 00:17:06,575
KEVIN: No.
No.
523
00:17:06,627 --> 00:17:09,378
I would like to buy
a vowel, please-- S.
524
00:17:09,413 --> 00:17:11,997
S? You got to pick
a player, Taco.
525
00:17:12,083 --> 00:17:13,632
Fine. Are there
any kickers left?
526
00:17:13,718 --> 00:17:15,084
Yeah.
All of them.
527
00:17:15,169 --> 00:17:16,719
Okay, I'll take
my Eskimo brother
528
00:17:16,754 --> 00:17:18,921
Sebastian Janikowski
for one dollar.
529
00:17:19,006 --> 00:17:19,889
That actually makes sense.
530
00:17:19,924 --> 00:17:21,173
Any takers?
One dollar.
531
00:17:21,259 --> 00:17:23,309
No one? All right,
going once, going twice.
532
00:17:23,394 --> 00:17:24,393
Five dollars.
533
00:17:24,428 --> 00:17:26,428
Five dollars going
once, going twice.
534
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:27,763
Still no one?
Ten dollars!
535
00:17:27,815 --> 00:17:29,515
Taco... what are you doing?
What are you doing?
536
00:17:29,600 --> 00:17:30,316
$12.
537
00:17:30,401 --> 00:17:31,483
You got this, okay?
538
00:17:31,569 --> 00:17:33,569
Who is $20?
539
00:17:33,604 --> 00:17:35,437
$20 for Sebastian Janikowski,
540
00:17:35,489 --> 00:17:37,823
no other takers on the table...
25.
541
00:17:37,909 --> 00:17:40,609
Why are you doing this?
I'd like to phone a friend, please.
542
00:17:40,695 --> 00:17:41,827
You don't need to phone a friend.
That's the wrong game.
543
00:17:41,913 --> 00:17:42,912
Who would you phone?
544
00:17:42,947 --> 00:17:44,580
Pete.
He's right beside you.
545
00:17:44,615 --> 00:17:45,748
You don't have to use a phone...
PETE: Hello?
546
00:17:45,783 --> 00:17:47,866
Hi, Pete.
Uh, should I go up?
547
00:17:47,952 --> 00:17:49,668
If you want this player, you got to get him.
All right.
548
00:17:49,754 --> 00:17:50,703
Thanks, Pete.
549
00:17:50,788 --> 00:17:53,956
$150, final answer.
550
00:17:54,008 --> 00:17:55,329
Really? We're
letting him do this?
551
00:17:55,960 --> 00:17:58,127
Going once, going twice...
552
00:17:58,212 --> 00:17:59,345
Oh, things a Cobb salad
would say!
553
00:17:59,430 --> 00:18:01,297
ANDRE: What?
I'd like to solve the puzzle.
554
00:18:01,382 --> 00:18:03,299
No, in what context
would a Cobb salad
555
00:18:03,351 --> 00:18:05,768
say "going once, going twice"?
556
00:18:05,803 --> 00:18:09,438
Lettuce just say that you are
bacon something egg-cellent.
557
00:18:09,473 --> 00:18:11,307
That is something
a Cobb salad would say.
558
00:18:11,392 --> 00:18:14,143
Nailed it. How does that feel,
you piece of garbage?
559
00:18:14,228 --> 00:18:15,978
Okay, the winner
560
00:18:16,063 --> 00:18:18,731
for Sebastian Janikowski
is Taco.
561
00:18:18,816 --> 00:18:19,898
Yeah!
562
00:18:19,984 --> 00:18:21,200
Just a reminder--
563
00:18:21,285 --> 00:18:23,285
you only have 50
fantasy dollars left.
564
00:18:23,321 --> 00:18:25,371
Oh, that's fine, I'll just
borrow some from Kevin.
565
00:18:25,456 --> 00:18:27,239
No.
Andre, are you gonna draft anyone?
566
00:18:29,410 --> 00:18:31,493
I just got too caught up
in the auctioneering.
567
00:18:31,545 --> 00:18:32,795
We got to start over.
568
00:18:32,830 --> 00:18:34,463
ALL: No.
So screwed.
569
00:18:34,498 --> 00:18:36,382
Andre, this draft
has blown up in your face
570
00:18:36,467 --> 00:18:39,418
like a firework
in Jason Pierre-Paul's hand.
571
00:18:39,503 --> 00:18:40,973
Who's that?
He plays for the Giants.
572
00:18:41,093 --> 00:18:41,755
Got it.
573
00:18:45,613 --> 00:18:47,052
Okay. Andre, get out of the way.
574
00:18:47,053 --> 00:18:49,356
I'm gonna show you idiots how it's done.
575
00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,491
What is that?
576
00:18:50,492 --> 00:18:51,593
Okay, here we go.
577
00:18:51,594 --> 00:18:52,962
No, no, no, no! (gasps)
578
00:18:52,963 --> 00:18:54,330
Rafi... Next item on the block,
579
00:18:54,331 --> 00:18:56,100
Ming Wu. Oh, my God. The hell
580
00:18:56,101 --> 00:18:58,471
are you doing, man?! Come on, time
to go to work, honey, time to go to work.
581
00:18:58,472 --> 00:19:00,107
Let's go. The floor is open.
582
00:19:00,108 --> 00:19:01,142
I'm taking bids.
583
00:19:01,143 --> 00:19:02,945
Ma'am, are you a kicker? She kicks.
584
00:19:02,946 --> 00:19:04,881
Show him how you kick.
(speaking foreign language)
585
00:19:04,882 --> 00:19:06,617
We're not auctioning off a woman.
Show him a kick.
586
00:19:06,618 --> 00:19:08,287
Why? You auctioned off all these men.
587
00:19:08,288 --> 00:19:09,889
Why can't I auction a woman off?
588
00:19:09,890 --> 00:19:11,492
That is misogyny,
589
00:19:11,493 --> 00:19:13,428
a word I was recently told.
590
00:19:13,429 --> 00:19:16,400
Come on, guys, who's bidding?
Let's go, let's go.
591
00:19:16,401 --> 00:19:19,438
(shouting) Oh, do not start with me.
592
00:19:19,439 --> 00:19:21,074
How dare you?
593
00:19:21,075 --> 00:19:22,509
Ma'am, ma'am...
594
00:19:22,510 --> 00:19:23,544
ma'am, I'm sorry, ma'am.
595
00:19:23,545 --> 00:19:25,280
(yells in foreign language) She has
596
00:19:25,281 --> 00:19:26,583
put a curse on all of us.
597
00:19:26,584 --> 00:19:28,552
ANDRE: What the hell was that, Rafi?
You know what,
598
00:19:28,553 --> 00:19:31,357
I thought you guys were cool and
wanted to have an auction.
599
00:19:31,358 --> 00:19:33,961
Guess not, so suck it.
600
00:19:33,962 --> 00:19:36,398
Okay, can we just finish this? Yes.
601
00:19:36,399 --> 00:19:38,602
Does anyone else have anyone
they'd like to auction?
602
00:19:38,603 --> 00:19:41,406
Oh, yeah, I got something. Okay,
sure, go ahead. What do you got?
603
00:19:41,407 --> 00:19:42,642
JENNY: Whoa!
604
00:19:42,643 --> 00:19:44,044
Where did you get that? No.
605
00:19:44,045 --> 00:19:46,181
What is your arm doing in a toilet?
606
00:19:46,182 --> 00:19:48,451
I was fishing out a contact lens.
Out of a toilet?
607
00:19:48,452 --> 00:19:50,420
It was a hard contact.
You look like an extra
608
00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:53,692
from A Different World.
We're not offering up personal items.
609
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:55,896
I'd like to bid ten dollars
on that picture, please.
610
00:19:55,897 --> 00:19:57,265
20 to have it framed. 20.
611
00:19:57,266 --> 00:19:58,968
30 to have it destroyed. 30.
612
00:19:58,969 --> 00:20:01,005
40 to make a T-shirt out of it.
50 to make it my team page.
613
00:20:01,006 --> 00:20:02,307
No, no, no! Pete,
614
00:20:02,308 --> 00:20:03,508
I know what you're doing, okay?
615
00:20:03,509 --> 00:20:05,111
And you're wrecking this
Draft of Innocence.
616
00:20:05,112 --> 00:20:08,416
Oh, please, Andre, this draft
is like the Pro Bowl, okay?
617
00:20:08,417 --> 00:20:10,654
Everybody's here, but frankly it sucks.
618
00:20:10,655 --> 00:20:12,623
You, sir, have besmirched
619
00:20:12,624 --> 00:20:16,295
my honor and the honor of my paramour.
620
00:20:16,296 --> 00:20:18,566
(gasps) Ooh. (Ruxin laughs)
621
00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:21,037
I challenge you to a duel.
622
00:20:22,473 --> 00:20:23,508
Ooh!
623
00:20:24,510 --> 00:20:26,913
No. This is bullshit,
624
00:20:26,914 --> 00:20:29,050
and I'm out of here.
Enjoy your new guy. No,
625
00:20:29,051 --> 00:20:31,253
I challenge you to a duel,
you can't just walk out.
626
00:20:31,254 --> 00:20:33,056
Pete, it's a duel!
627
00:20:33,057 --> 00:20:34,458
Pete.
628
00:20:34,459 --> 00:20:36,194
Pete, we must duel.
629
00:20:36,195 --> 00:20:38,197
I don't have to do anything, Lord Andre.
630
00:20:38,198 --> 00:20:39,566
I am the champion, I make the rules,
631
00:20:39,567 --> 00:20:41,035
I say we duel.
632
00:20:41,036 --> 00:20:42,438
You cannot besmirch someone's
633
00:20:42,439 --> 00:20:44,307
honor and then not duel! I'll besmirch
634
00:20:44,308 --> 00:20:46,077
the whole goddamn thing, Andre.
635
00:20:46,078 --> 00:20:48,080
636
00:20:53,292 --> 00:20:54,504
_
637
00:20:54,624 --> 00:20:55,659
Who are they?
638
00:20:55,660 --> 00:20:56,994
Yeah, I think this might have
639
00:20:56,995 --> 00:20:58,297
something to do with Ming Wu.
640
00:20:59,466 --> 00:21:01,034
Let me handle this. I got this.
641
00:21:01,035 --> 00:21:02,603
Hi there. Uh, I think
there's been a little bit
642
00:21:02,604 --> 00:21:04,072
of a misunderstanding here.
643
00:21:04,073 --> 00:21:06,142
Oh! Oh... Oh, oh,
644
00:21:06,143 --> 00:21:07,478
oh, shit. (groaning)
645
00:21:07,479 --> 00:21:09,147
My good man,
646
00:21:09,148 --> 00:21:11,218
I did not want to resort
to physical violence.
647
00:21:11,219 --> 00:21:13,688
But you leave me no choice. Ha!
648
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,090
(all grunting)
649
00:21:15,091 --> 00:21:16,593
(Jenny shrieks)
650
00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:19,965
_
651
00:21:19,966 --> 00:21:21,200
(yells)
652
00:21:22,102 --> 00:21:23,737
Aah!
653
00:21:23,738 --> 00:21:25,039
Ooh! Bartitsu!
654
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,242
I warned you, my good man.
655
00:21:26,243 --> 00:21:27,276
A dollar.
656
00:21:27,277 --> 00:21:29,279
(yells)
657
00:21:32,118 --> 00:21:34,120
Put your dick in his mouth, Andre!
Shame him!
658
00:21:34,121 --> 00:21:36,057
Andre, he's got
659
00:21:36,058 --> 00:21:37,292
a mop. Aah!
660
00:21:37,293 --> 00:21:39,463
Oh!
661
00:21:39,464 --> 00:21:41,466
MEEGAN: Ooh! Oh, he's got a knife!
662
00:21:43,203 --> 00:21:44,604
Yes! (shrieks)
663
00:21:44,605 --> 00:21:45,973
Five dollars.
664
00:21:45,974 --> 00:21:47,241
Somebody kill somebody!
665
00:21:47,242 --> 00:21:48,710
I want to see a ghost!
666
00:21:48,711 --> 00:21:50,480
(yelling)
667
00:21:51,516 --> 00:21:53,285
Oh!
668
00:21:55,322 --> 00:21:56,590
Ah...
669
00:21:56,591 --> 00:21:58,026
Mm.
670
00:21:59,629 --> 00:22:00,730
Mm.
671
00:22:00,731 --> 00:22:02,266
This thing works pretty well.
672
00:22:02,267 --> 00:22:04,236
Ooh! (gasps) Whoa!
673
00:22:06,674 --> 00:22:08,375
JENNY: Snuffbox!
674
00:22:10,346 --> 00:22:12,282
$20, final answer.
675
00:22:12,283 --> 00:22:13,417
(grunting)
676
00:22:13,418 --> 00:22:15,153
Assistance!
677
00:22:15,154 --> 00:22:17,090
Here! Pocket dog?
678
00:22:17,091 --> 00:22:18,625
Here!
679
00:22:18,626 --> 00:22:20,629
(grunting)
680
00:22:21,764 --> 00:22:23,166
(groans)
681
00:22:23,167 --> 00:22:25,370
(gasps) Holy shit.
682
00:22:25,371 --> 00:22:27,073
Shall we get back to the draft?
683
00:22:27,074 --> 00:22:28,609
_
684
00:22:28,610 --> 00:22:31,045
My hero. Our hero.
685
00:22:31,046 --> 00:22:32,465
I'm switching to Team Andre.
686
00:22:32,466 --> 00:22:33,833
Oh, I'm gonna be sick. So...
687
00:22:33,834 --> 00:22:35,463
Are we gonna ookie-cookie
688
00:22:35,583 --> 00:22:36,979
all over this guy's face, or what?
689
00:22:37,099 --> 00:22:47,362
Sync & corrections by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
690
00:22:47,412 --> 00:22:51,962
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
50871
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.