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1
00:00:00,779 --> 00:00:03,380
(beeping)
2
00:00:03,382 --> 00:00:05,415
RUXIN: (inhales)
3
00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:08,417
RAFFI: Hey.
4
00:00:08,419 --> 00:00:09,451
(muffled yell)
5
00:00:09,453 --> 00:00:11,620
Shh.
6
00:00:11,622 --> 00:00:14,189
Come on, don't fight it.
7
00:00:14,191 --> 00:00:15,358
Don't fight it.
8
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:16,860
Come on.
9
00:00:16,862 --> 00:00:17,928
What's happening?
10
00:00:17,930 --> 00:00:19,639
You had a stroke, okay?
11
00:00:19,759 --> 00:00:22,567
So it's time to die.
12
00:00:22,569 --> 00:00:24,294
Great news-- your dick still works.
13
00:00:24,414 --> 00:00:25,015
What?
14
00:00:25,034 --> 00:00:28,569
I harvested a bunch of your sperm,
so you're going to live forever.
15
00:00:28,571 --> 00:00:29,570
How?
16
00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:31,439
How? I jerked you off like a dog.
17
00:00:31,441 --> 00:00:33,175
You're the Angel of Death.
18
00:00:33,177 --> 00:00:35,110
No, I'm the angel of murder.
19
00:00:35,112 --> 00:00:38,580
I don't want to die... Oh, my God.
20
00:00:38,582 --> 00:00:39,848
Hey, man, stop hitting me!
21
00:00:39,850 --> 00:00:40,583
I'm trying to kill you!
22
00:00:40,585 --> 00:00:42,118
What was that, that I felt?
23
00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,086
It was a murder boner.
24
00:00:43,088 --> 00:00:43,853
What do you think it is?
25
00:00:43,855 --> 00:00:46,089
Sir, visiting is ten
minutes on the hour.
26
00:00:46,091 --> 00:00:47,457
He's trying to kill me.
27
00:00:47,459 --> 00:00:49,126
(laughing): This guy's hilarious.
28
00:00:49,128 --> 00:00:50,560
You'll have to go to the lounge.
29
00:00:50,562 --> 00:00:53,430
Okay. Wait-- Just so I'm clear, this
isn't going to turn into some, like,
30
00:00:53,432 --> 00:00:54,131
crazy three-way action?
31
00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:54,598
Lobby.
32
00:00:54,600 --> 00:00:55,399
All right.
33
00:00:55,401 --> 00:00:56,568
He's my El Cuñado.
34
00:00:56,570 --> 00:00:57,535
He's the Devil.
35
00:00:57,537 --> 00:00:58,569
All right, time to die.
36
00:00:58,571 --> 00:00:59,437
What, you're still here?
37
00:00:59,439 --> 00:01:00,038
Sir.
38
00:01:00,040 --> 00:01:01,039
Oh, God.
39
00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:06,158
Sync & corrected by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
40
00:01:06,278 --> 00:01:07,745
ANDRE: It's good news and bad news.
41
00:01:07,747 --> 00:01:08,546
He definitely had a stroke.
42
00:01:11,418 --> 00:01:14,119
And it looks good, but he's
not out of the woods yet.
43
00:01:14,121 --> 00:01:15,554
Did you get a chance to see him?
44
00:01:15,556 --> 00:01:16,389
No.
45
00:01:16,391 --> 00:01:19,225
ICU's for family only, so I just wanted...
Yeah, but you're a doctor.
46
00:01:19,227 --> 00:01:21,261
Just... I mean, I could...
TACO: Just go back there.
47
00:01:21,263 --> 00:01:21,962
We need to know.
48
00:01:21,964 --> 00:01:23,563
I don't need to go back
there, flaunt my doctoring.
49
00:01:23,565 --> 00:01:25,566
PETE: Andre, they won't let
you go back there, will they?
50
00:01:25,568 --> 00:01:26,800
'Cause you're not a real doctor.
51
00:01:26,802 --> 00:01:29,136
I'm respecting the family's
privacy right now.
52
00:01:29,138 --> 00:01:33,074
JENNY: Guys, there are issues
we all need to discuss.
53
00:01:33,076 --> 00:01:35,576
Ruxin has affairs that
need to be tended to.
54
00:01:35,578 --> 00:01:38,180
You know, he's in the ICU.
55
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,916
He's also in the Sacko this week.
56
00:01:40,918 --> 00:01:42,851
What are we going to do about his team?
57
00:01:42,853 --> 00:01:44,586
You know, I was closest
with Ruxin, I think.
58
00:01:44,588 --> 00:01:46,788
And so I feel like I could
manage his team for the week.
59
00:01:46,790 --> 00:01:48,156
I'd be impartial... No way.
60
00:01:48,158 --> 00:01:48,823
No, no.
61
00:01:48,825 --> 00:01:50,158
Not a chance.
62
00:01:50,160 --> 00:01:53,495
My opinion is the only fair way
to do it is "team by committee."
63
00:01:53,497 --> 00:01:55,364
You know what, he's been through a lot.
64
00:01:55,366 --> 00:01:56,933
We should just give him the Shiva.
65
00:01:56,935 --> 00:01:57,868
You shut your goddamn mouth!
66
00:01:57,870 --> 00:01:59,603
You pulled that out of your ass, Taco.
67
00:01:59,605 --> 00:02:01,972
It was a mild stroke.
68
00:02:01,974 --> 00:02:03,541
Mild, okay?
69
00:02:03,543 --> 00:02:05,544
If he had cancer, we'd talk about it.
70
00:02:05,546 --> 00:02:06,979
I don't know, guys.
71
00:02:06,981 --> 00:02:10,182
Having a near death experience has
changed the way I see things.
72
00:02:10,184 --> 00:02:12,318
Ruxin had the stroke, not you, Taco.
73
00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:13,386
I was right next to him.
74
00:02:13,388 --> 00:02:15,021
I was near death.
75
00:02:15,023 --> 00:02:15,989
Oh, God.
76
00:02:15,991 --> 00:02:18,292
And it's made me realize
what's important in life.
77
00:02:18,294 --> 00:02:19,327
What is that?
78
00:02:19,329 --> 00:02:21,563
It's not in this room, that's for sure.
79
00:02:21,565 --> 00:02:24,566
It's out there somewhere.
80
00:02:24,568 --> 00:02:25,367
Hey, Raffi.
81
00:02:25,369 --> 00:02:26,168
How's he doing?
82
00:02:26,170 --> 00:02:28,571
Brian, I'm not going to lie
to you-- it's not good.
83
00:02:28,573 --> 00:02:31,341
He wouldn't even let me kill him.
84
00:02:31,343 --> 00:02:34,578
SOFIA: Ruxin had his company do his will,
and I found something for you guys.
85
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:37,816
He left a will for his fantasy team.
86
00:02:37,818 --> 00:02:40,819
And I hope that you will
abide by his wishes.
87
00:02:40,821 --> 00:02:42,821
There we go.
88
00:02:42,823 --> 00:02:45,157
Hello, I'm Rodney Ruxin.
89
00:02:45,159 --> 00:02:46,325
Everyone calls me Ruxin.
90
00:02:46,327 --> 00:02:48,561
And this is my last will and testament.
91
00:02:48,563 --> 00:02:51,164
First of all, congratulations
for knowing me.
92
00:02:51,166 --> 00:02:53,833
You really knocked it out
of the park, friend-wise.
93
00:02:53,835 --> 00:02:57,403
But now I have moved on-- left
this world for a better place.
94
00:02:57,405 --> 00:02:58,104
Is it hot there?
95
00:02:58,106 --> 00:02:59,105
Shh.
96
00:02:59,107 --> 00:03:01,840
My prize golf clubs I leave to Pete.
97
00:03:01,842 --> 00:03:04,542
No, Kevin... Wha... Andre... Me?
98
00:03:04,544 --> 00:03:08,546
No... Pete... No, Kev...
You know what, no, throw 'em away.
99
00:03:08,548 --> 00:03:09,547
What?
100
00:03:09,549 --> 00:03:11,182
Nope, sell them on Craig's List.
101
00:03:11,184 --> 00:03:12,550
No, you know what, throw them away.
102
00:03:12,552 --> 00:03:13,284
It's classic.
103
00:03:13,286 --> 00:03:14,352
He even tinkers with his will.
104
00:03:14,354 --> 00:03:15,053
Craig's List.
105
00:03:15,055 --> 00:03:17,389
Craig's List.
106
00:03:17,391 --> 00:03:19,558
A few things to clear up.
107
00:03:19,560 --> 00:03:22,896
Pete, your Paul's
Boutique vinyl-- I took it.
108
00:03:22,898 --> 00:03:23,563
What?!
109
00:03:23,565 --> 00:03:25,999
I listened to it, I scratched
it, I threw it away and blamed
110
00:03:26,001 --> 00:03:27,200
it on the lacrosse team.
111
00:03:27,202 --> 00:03:28,468
Son of a bitch.
112
00:03:28,470 --> 00:03:29,203
Sorry.
113
00:03:29,205 --> 00:03:31,371
To Jenny-- honestly, I don't get it.
114
00:03:31,373 --> 00:03:33,207
I don't see what Kevin sees in you.
115
00:03:33,209 --> 00:03:34,574
I don't get you guys; never did.
116
00:03:34,576 --> 00:03:36,076
100% agree.
117
00:03:36,078 --> 00:03:36,810
Yeah.
118
00:03:36,812 --> 00:03:39,312
Now, if I die or am incapacitated
during the regular
119
00:03:39,314 --> 00:03:45,317
season, I bequeath my team to... Andre.
120
00:03:45,319 --> 00:03:46,218
What?
121
00:03:46,220 --> 00:03:46,919
He picked me.
122
00:03:46,921 --> 00:03:48,120
Out of all of you, he picked me.
123
00:03:48,122 --> 00:03:51,290
This is great. I mean...
Andre, the shit just got really real.
124
00:03:51,292 --> 00:03:52,325
Okay.
125
00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:53,226
And you better not (bleep)
126
00:03:53,228 --> 00:03:54,127
this up.
127
00:03:54,129 --> 00:03:54,994
No pressure, buddy.
128
00:03:54,996 --> 00:03:56,997
This has been my last
will and testament.
129
00:03:56,999 --> 00:03:58,331
I mean, whatever, I'm dead now.
130
00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:05,941
So I just want to wish you one last
hearty and heartfelt-- Suck it!
131
00:04:05,943 --> 00:04:07,443
You must miss him so much.
132
00:04:07,445 --> 00:04:10,246
You ready for this weekend, huh?
133
00:04:10,248 --> 00:04:11,013
I'm very ready.
134
00:04:11,015 --> 00:04:12,081
I'm taking you down, buddy.
135
00:04:12,083 --> 00:04:12,849
Shiva Bowl! Come on!
136
00:04:12,851 --> 00:04:14,550
Oh, man, it's going to be fun.
137
00:04:14,552 --> 00:04:17,120
If you win, I'm going
to be so happy for you.
138
00:04:17,122 --> 00:04:18,321
No, Taco, no.
139
00:04:18,323 --> 00:04:20,156
You're supposed to talk shit to me.
140
00:04:20,158 --> 00:04:21,558
I'm not going to talk shit to you.
141
00:04:21,560 --> 00:04:22,559
You're my brother.
142
00:04:22,561 --> 00:04:23,927
You've never won the Shiva.
143
00:04:23,929 --> 00:04:25,028
I've won the Shiva.
144
00:04:25,030 --> 00:04:27,164
Come on, man, you're taking all
the fun out of this for me.
145
00:04:27,166 --> 00:04:27,965
This is important to me.
146
00:04:27,967 --> 00:04:28,799
I know.
147
00:04:28,801 --> 00:04:31,034
I have so many other good
things going on in my life.
148
00:04:31,036 --> 00:04:32,202
This is all you have.
149
00:04:32,204 --> 00:04:33,537
This is just pathetic.
150
00:04:33,539 --> 00:04:35,472
This is the worst Shiva Bowl ever.
151
00:04:35,474 --> 00:04:36,841
Kevin versus Taco.
152
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:37,875
Just nothing there.
153
00:04:37,877 --> 00:04:38,943
This is no fun.
154
00:04:38,945 --> 00:04:40,578
Oh, hello.
155
00:04:40,580 --> 00:04:42,012
Vodka martini.
156
00:04:42,014 --> 00:04:43,313
Splash of Tabasco.
157
00:04:43,315 --> 00:04:45,282
What are you shit
sippers talking about?
158
00:04:45,284 --> 00:04:46,350
What is this?
159
00:04:46,352 --> 00:04:47,384
Are you trying to be Ruxin?
160
00:04:47,386 --> 00:04:48,118
What are you doing?
161
00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:50,654
Maybe you guys can talk about
it when you're having sex with
162
00:04:50,656 --> 00:04:53,223
each other in the private
hotel room that I bought you.
163
00:04:53,225 --> 00:04:55,525
Why do you think he would
buy us a hotel room?
164
00:04:55,527 --> 00:04:57,360
Isn't that something
that Ruxin would do?
165
00:04:57,362 --> 00:04:58,128
Like, buy a hotel room?
166
00:04:58,130 --> 00:04:59,396
To watch us have sex?
167
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:02,065
You would pay to see
two guys having sex?
168
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:02,899
I don't know.
169
00:05:02,901 --> 00:05:04,067
This is hard to do as Ruxin.
170
00:05:04,069 --> 00:05:08,238
Andre, look, the Sacko Bowl doesn't need
any extra lore this year, all right?
171
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,239
Look what we've got going on.
172
00:05:09,241 --> 00:05:13,109
In one corner, the Sacko del
Toro commissioner who could
173
00:05:13,111 --> 00:05:15,011
possibly bring home the Sacko.
174
00:05:15,013 --> 00:05:17,914
And in the other corner, who
could go from first to worst,
175
00:05:17,916 --> 00:05:20,550
courtesy of this frittata traffic hump.
176
00:05:20,552 --> 00:05:23,520
Hey, which one of you dumb
dildoes is running Ruxin's team?
177
00:05:23,522 --> 00:05:24,888
That would be Andre.
178
00:05:24,890 --> 00:05:26,557
Okay, I've got a bone to pick with you.
179
00:05:26,559 --> 00:05:27,357
I'm next of kin.
180
00:05:27,359 --> 00:05:28,225
I'm family.
181
00:05:28,227 --> 00:05:29,159
Okay, okay, we need to go.
182
00:05:29,161 --> 00:05:30,827
Hey, I'll talk to you later, tall guy.
183
00:05:30,829 --> 00:05:31,561
No reason to yell.
184
00:05:31,563 --> 00:05:32,428
There's a will.
185
00:05:32,430 --> 00:05:33,997
And he bequeathed his team to me.
186
00:05:33,999 --> 00:05:34,864
That's what it said?
187
00:05:34,866 --> 00:05:35,431
Yeah.
188
00:05:35,433 --> 00:05:37,099
Change of plans-- we're
running the team together.
189
00:05:37,101 --> 00:05:38,568
We're not running the team together.
190
00:05:38,570 --> 00:05:40,202
We're running the team together.
191
00:05:40,204 --> 00:05:40,903
Uh-oh.
192
00:05:40,905 --> 00:05:41,570
Got to go, guys.
193
00:05:41,572 --> 00:05:42,238
Happy holidays.
194
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:43,372
Later, guys. Good to see you.
195
00:05:43,374 --> 00:05:44,573
Put down the knife for a second?
196
00:05:44,575 --> 00:05:45,775
No. You know what, here.
197
00:05:45,777 --> 00:05:47,443
Oh, all right.
198
00:05:47,445 --> 00:05:48,577
Great. Push the button.
199
00:05:48,579 --> 00:05:49,512
Boom.
200
00:05:49,514 --> 00:05:50,179
No.
201
00:05:50,181 --> 00:05:51,580
Now we're having a conversation.
202
00:05:51,582 --> 00:05:53,382
What do I need a knife to run a team?
203
00:05:53,384 --> 00:05:54,583
To settle lineup disputes.
204
00:05:54,585 --> 00:05:55,784
We do that with our words.
205
00:05:55,786 --> 00:05:57,552
No. Words are bullshit.
206
00:05:57,554 --> 00:06:00,589
They're just useless sounds that
we make with our stupid mouths.
207
00:06:00,591 --> 00:06:02,524
Okay... This is how stuff gets done.
208
00:06:02,526 --> 00:06:03,225
Here you go.
209
00:06:03,227 --> 00:06:04,026
Take back your knife.
210
00:06:04,028 --> 00:06:05,027
Huge mistake.
211
00:06:05,029 --> 00:06:07,296
Now I have four deadly
weapons on my body.
212
00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:07,863
Four?
213
00:06:07,865 --> 00:06:10,500
Yeah. Two knives, my dick and this.
214
00:06:10,620 --> 00:06:11,728
You're not allowed to carry a gun.
215
00:06:11,848 --> 00:06:14,736
I am allowed to carry a gun if I
don't tell anybody I have it.
216
00:06:14,738 --> 00:06:15,737
It's called a concealed weapon.
217
00:06:15,739 --> 00:06:16,404
Merry Christmas.
218
00:06:16,406 --> 00:06:17,305
Oh my God, thank you so much.
219
00:06:17,307 --> 00:06:18,406
Merry Christmas to you.
220
00:06:18,408 --> 00:06:20,541
Later, Andre.
221
00:06:25,634 --> 00:06:27,034
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
222
00:06:27,036 --> 00:06:28,524
You're still not allowed...
That's all right, he's with me.
223
00:06:28,644 --> 00:06:30,153
That's that sexy nurse I
was telling you about.
224
00:06:30,262 --> 00:06:31,061
How's he doing?
225
00:06:31,063 --> 00:06:35,332
Well, he had a rough night, but he's
been mildly sedated, so he's resting.
226
00:06:35,334 --> 00:06:36,667
Uh-oh. Chemistry.
227
00:06:36,669 --> 00:06:37,702
Bing-bang-boom.
228
00:06:37,704 --> 00:06:40,205
Um, It's up to me to set his lineup.
229
00:06:40,207 --> 00:06:41,673
I'm managing his team.
230
00:06:41,675 --> 00:06:43,175
We're co-managing the team, really.
231
00:06:43,177 --> 00:06:44,076
We're not co-managing.
232
00:06:44,078 --> 00:06:46,011
You know nothing about
fantasy football.
233
00:06:46,013 --> 00:06:46,946
Sure I do.
234
00:06:46,948 --> 00:06:49,549
I just don't understand why you won't let
me draft the players I want to play.
235
00:06:49,551 --> 00:06:50,349
It's fantasy football.
236
00:06:50,351 --> 00:06:52,018
So the Hulk should be
able to be on the team.
237
00:06:52,020 --> 00:06:55,554
Now, look, Ruxin, do you want me
to put Ryan Torain in your lineup?
238
00:06:55,556 --> 00:06:57,756
Blink once if that's a yes.
239
00:06:57,758 --> 00:07:00,025
Was that a blink?
240
00:07:00,027 --> 00:07:01,125
Hope that's a blink.
241
00:07:01,127 --> 00:07:08,599
If you screw up my team, I'll cut your
penis into thin slices of salami.
242
00:07:11,103 --> 00:07:13,037
He says he loves me.
243
00:07:13,039 --> 00:07:14,205
No, he didn't.
244
00:07:14,207 --> 00:07:17,109
He said he's going to cut your
penis into small slices of salami.
245
00:07:17,111 --> 00:07:17,943
We both heard that, right?
246
00:07:17,945 --> 00:07:18,810
You heard that?
247
00:07:18,812 --> 00:07:19,644
He didn't say that.
248
00:07:19,646 --> 00:07:20,579
This has been a good visit.
249
00:07:20,581 --> 00:07:21,313
It has been.
250
00:07:21,315 --> 00:07:22,882
Ooh, a little shoulder
touch there, huh?
251
00:07:22,884 --> 00:07:25,985
Normally, I'd be all over
you like crazy times.
252
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,754
You know what I like about you?
253
00:07:27,756 --> 00:07:29,123
You're making me work for it.
254
00:07:30,358 --> 00:07:32,326
Taco got us a Christmas present.
255
00:07:32,328 --> 00:07:38,099
I cannot do homemade deodorant any...
No, no, no, this one we can actually use.
256
00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:39,066
Really?
257
00:07:39,068 --> 00:07:40,334
Yeah, check that out.
258
00:07:40,336 --> 00:07:41,335
Oh!
259
00:07:41,337 --> 00:07:42,603
Yeah!
260
00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:43,904
A VHS.
261
00:07:43,906 --> 00:07:47,574
A VHS or DVD, I'm not...
still not sure.
262
00:07:47,576 --> 00:07:48,342
I still don't remember.
263
00:07:48,344 --> 00:07:49,309
It's a big-ass joint.
264
00:07:49,311 --> 00:07:50,611
Well... Right now?
265
00:07:50,613 --> 00:07:51,345
Let's fire it up.
266
00:07:51,347 --> 00:07:53,347
It's the holidays, baby. Yeah!
267
00:07:53,349 --> 00:07:54,849
Oh, man.
268
00:07:54,851 --> 00:07:56,284
Oh, man, is right.
269
00:07:56,286 --> 00:07:57,819
Merry Christmas.
270
00:07:57,821 --> 00:07:59,120
Happy Kwanzaa.
271
00:07:59,122 --> 00:08:00,488
Love this.
272
00:08:00,490 --> 00:08:08,163
Look at... this...
You're feeling very fertile.
273
00:08:08,165 --> 00:08:11,967
Are you trying to
"hye-na-tize" me right now?
274
00:08:11,969 --> 00:08:13,169
What? No.
275
00:08:13,171 --> 00:08:16,506
We have a bet, babe. I'm just...
What if I lose?
276
00:08:16,508 --> 00:08:18,174
There are no shortcuts in fatherhood.
277
00:08:18,176 --> 00:08:19,976
There are no shortcuts to the Shiva.
278
00:08:19,978 --> 00:08:21,311
Just win, baby.
279
00:08:21,313 --> 00:08:24,314
Ew. Feels like I'm kissing Al Davis.
280
00:08:24,316 --> 00:08:25,715
No.
281
00:08:25,717 --> 00:08:30,220
But you're still extremely fertile.
282
00:08:30,222 --> 00:08:31,321
I'm super fertile.
283
00:08:31,323 --> 00:08:34,223
And you love to be mounted and humped.
284
00:08:34,225 --> 00:08:35,558
I do.
285
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:36,959
What?
286
00:08:36,961 --> 00:08:39,328
I'm so tired.
287
00:08:45,603 --> 00:08:47,671
(snapping gum)
288
00:08:47,673 --> 00:08:49,573
May I help you?
289
00:08:49,575 --> 00:08:50,974
I'm here to see my husband.
290
00:08:50,976 --> 00:08:51,875
And he is?
291
00:08:51,877 --> 00:08:52,976
Rodney Ruxin.
292
00:08:52,978 --> 00:08:54,144
I'm Sofia Ruxin.
293
00:08:54,146 --> 00:08:55,478
No, you're not.
294
00:08:55,480 --> 00:08:56,246
Yes, I am.
295
00:08:56,248 --> 00:08:58,047
I met Mrs. Sofia Ruxin earlier today.
296
00:08:58,049 --> 00:08:59,248
No, that's not possible.
297
00:08:59,250 --> 00:09:00,984
Tell me about the woman that you saw.
298
00:09:00,986 --> 00:09:02,552
Brown hair... Low-cut top?
299
00:09:02,554 --> 00:09:03,152
Yes.
300
00:09:03,154 --> 00:09:03,987
Bit of a label whore?
301
00:09:03,989 --> 00:09:04,721
Yes.
302
00:09:04,723 --> 00:09:05,588
Painted-on jeans?
303
00:09:05,590 --> 00:09:06,656
Oh, definitely.
304
00:09:06,658 --> 00:09:08,291
Inappropriately high heels for daytime?
305
00:09:08,293 --> 00:09:09,292
I'd say so.
306
00:09:09,294 --> 00:09:13,763
That Puerto Rican slut is
my husband's mistress.
307
00:09:13,765 --> 00:09:14,864
No.
308
00:09:14,866 --> 00:09:20,536
You let my husband's mistress in
to see him before I got in there!
309
00:09:20,538 --> 00:09:21,303
I am so sorry.
310
00:09:21,305 --> 00:09:22,037
You should be.
311
00:09:22,039 --> 00:09:24,105
I'm going to buzz you in right now.
312
00:09:24,107 --> 00:09:25,307
Gracias.
313
00:09:25,309 --> 00:09:27,743
(lock buzzing)
314
00:09:32,982 --> 00:09:34,015
Hey.
315
00:09:34,017 --> 00:09:36,317
Hey, how you doing?
316
00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,218
What happened?
317
00:09:38,220 --> 00:09:41,321
The last thing I remember, I'd
won the Shiva again this year.
318
00:09:41,323 --> 00:09:44,223
No, you didn't win the Shiva this year.
319
00:09:44,225 --> 00:09:46,325
What pick did I get in the draft again?
320
00:09:46,327 --> 00:09:47,860
Fifth.
321
00:09:47,862 --> 00:09:49,628
Liar.
322
00:09:49,630 --> 00:09:50,929
There you are.
323
00:09:50,931 --> 00:09:53,098
I've been here the whole time.
324
00:09:53,100 --> 00:09:54,733
Why are you dressed like a whore?
325
00:09:54,735 --> 00:09:56,535
I had to dress like your
wife to get in here.
326
00:09:56,537 --> 00:09:58,203
Fives.
327
00:09:58,205 --> 00:10:01,740
Look, I don't know if
Kevin is going to win.
328
00:10:01,742 --> 00:10:03,875
I don't know if you're going to live.
329
00:10:03,877 --> 00:10:08,980
All I know is that Kevin is so damn
close to winning the Shiva Bowl.
330
00:10:08,982 --> 00:10:11,650
You have got to make this
season count, do you hear me?
331
00:10:11,652 --> 00:10:13,552
Jenny.
332
00:10:13,554 --> 00:10:14,320
Yeah.
333
00:10:14,322 --> 00:10:19,793
I will continue this season so
that Pete can get the Sacko.
334
00:10:19,795 --> 00:10:21,061
Yes, Ruxin.
335
00:10:21,063 --> 00:10:25,366
Look, if I get the Sacko,
the season doesn't count.
336
00:10:25,368 --> 00:10:29,370
And then he said if he gets the Sacko,
the whole season doesn't count.
337
00:10:29,372 --> 00:10:30,238
It's up to you.
338
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:30,772
No.
339
00:10:30,774 --> 00:10:32,373
You have to take one for the team.
340
00:10:32,375 --> 00:10:34,776
You have to get the Sacko
and let Ruxin win.
341
00:10:34,778 --> 00:10:36,678
No. I've already done
my Saint Peter duties.
342
00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,380
If the season doesn't count,
I don't get the Shiva.
343
00:10:39,382 --> 00:10:42,683
This is the most important thing
that's ever happened to me in my life.
344
00:10:42,685 --> 00:10:43,284
No offense.
345
00:10:43,286 --> 00:10:44,185
None taken.
346
00:10:44,187 --> 00:10:47,268
Come on, how would you feel if you
Shiva championship didn't count?
347
00:10:47,388 --> 00:10:48,920
Well, which one?
There's been quite a few.
348
00:10:48,922 --> 00:10:50,488
You son of a bitch.
349
00:10:50,490 --> 00:10:52,557
This is Kevin's only
chance in the Shiva Bowl.
350
00:10:52,559 --> 00:10:53,925
He has never been here before.
351
00:10:53,927 --> 00:10:56,627
He will probably never be here again.
352
00:10:56,629 --> 00:10:57,228
No offense.
353
00:10:57,230 --> 00:10:58,229
None taken.
354
00:10:58,231 --> 00:10:59,164
Do it!
355
00:10:59,166 --> 00:10:59,864
Hey, listen to me.
356
00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:03,635
As we all know, I was not the
most gentle and considerate of
357
00:11:03,637 --> 00:11:04,302
Sacko commissioners.
358
00:11:04,304 --> 00:11:05,336
You were the worst.
359
00:11:05,338 --> 00:11:06,871
I'd be like a cop going to jail.
360
00:11:06,873 --> 00:11:07,705
Very vulnerable.
361
00:11:07,707 --> 00:11:10,408
Why is it a foregone conclusion
that Ruxin's going to lose?
362
00:11:10,410 --> 00:11:13,077
Need I remind you that I
am in charge of his team.
363
00:11:13,079 --> 00:11:14,506
- Oh, dear God, Andre.
- Exactly.
364
00:11:14,626 --> 00:11:17,181
Granted, I've had some trouble
this week with Raffi.
365
00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:20,886
Which reminds me, I need you to create a
fictional player called Bruce Banner.
366
00:11:20,888 --> 00:11:21,887
The Incredible Hulk?
367
00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:22,854
Yeah.
368
00:11:22,856 --> 00:11:25,323
He wants him on the team, and he
said if we don't get him, he's
369
00:11:25,325 --> 00:11:25,890
going to stab me.
370
00:11:25,892 --> 00:11:27,258
Hi, guys.
371
00:11:27,260 --> 00:11:30,561
Look, ever since I came face to
Ruxin's face with death, I've
372
00:11:30,563 --> 00:11:32,363
been doing a lot of thinking.
373
00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:35,265
I've been spending so much time
in the rat race that I've lost
374
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:36,566
touch with what's important.
375
00:11:36,568 --> 00:11:37,900
What rat race are you in?
376
00:11:37,902 --> 00:11:39,793
He races rats in the alley
behind his apartment.
377
00:11:39,913 --> 00:11:42,905
All this time spent punching
the clocks, making bank.
378
00:11:42,907 --> 00:11:43,873
For what, huh?
379
00:11:43,875 --> 00:11:46,275
Well, you could start by buying
me a Bud Light and paying
380
00:11:46,277 --> 00:11:49,778
me back for the years of mooching,
eating my food, sleeping at my house.
381
00:11:49,780 --> 00:11:53,466
Oh, Kevin, I realize that this
money can actually do some good.
382
00:11:53,586 --> 00:11:56,519
That's why I gave it away to Matt
Forte's charity, Mercy Home
383
00:11:56,521 --> 00:11:57,520
for Boys and Girls.
384
00:11:57,522 --> 00:11:58,053
You did?
385
00:11:58,055 --> 00:12:00,537
- Matt Forte-- he's on Ruxin's team.
- I know.
386
00:12:00,657 --> 00:12:04,393
I figured a visit from Ruxin's favorite
player would make him very happy.
387
00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:07,444
No. No, this whole charity
bullshit is collusion.
388
00:12:07,564 --> 00:12:09,498
Donating to children at
the holidays-- collusion?
389
00:12:09,500 --> 00:12:10,713
Yeah, come on.
390
00:12:10,833 --> 00:12:11,565
Approved.
391
00:12:11,567 --> 00:12:12,466
Seconded.
392
00:12:12,468 --> 00:12:13,901
What the hell kind of league is this?
393
00:12:13,903 --> 00:12:15,431
You just say approved, and then
all of a sudden it's done?
394
00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:16,870
Yes. Eight man missionary league.
395
00:12:16,990 --> 00:12:18,631
Your turn to take it.
396
00:12:21,715 --> 00:12:24,081
MATT FORTE: Thanks again, man,
for that donation to Mercy Home.
397
00:12:24,180 --> 00:12:25,112
Kids are going to enjoy it.
398
00:12:25,114 --> 00:12:26,113
Oh, no problem.
399
00:12:26,115 --> 00:12:28,750
And if you want, I could send
them a case of Three Penis wine.
400
00:12:28,752 --> 00:12:30,485
I think they'll be all
right without that.
401
00:12:30,487 --> 00:12:31,853
Well, well, well.
402
00:12:31,855 --> 00:12:33,922
Mr. Matt Forte.
403
00:12:33,924 --> 00:12:35,490
Dr. Andre Nozick.
404
00:12:35,492 --> 00:12:36,190
How are you?
405
00:12:36,192 --> 00:12:36,925
I'm fine.
406
00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:37,759
Knees good?
407
00:12:37,761 --> 00:12:38,759
I'm good.
408
00:12:38,761 --> 00:12:39,327
You're fine?
409
00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:40,127
Don't touch him.
410
00:12:40,129 --> 00:12:41,129
I can touch him.
411
00:12:41,131 --> 00:12:42,130
He's on the fantasy team.
412
00:12:42,132 --> 00:12:44,198
You shouldn't be touching
anybody looking like that.
413
00:12:44,200 --> 00:12:45,667
(laughing): Oh, burn.
414
00:12:47,002 --> 00:12:48,503
Oh, here he is.
415
00:12:48,505 --> 00:12:49,871
Poor son of a bitch.
416
00:12:49,873 --> 00:12:52,106
Sure you're not walking
with a limp, right?
417
00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:53,307
I'm good, man.
418
00:12:53,309 --> 00:12:55,676
Thank you so much for this jersey.
419
00:12:55,678 --> 00:12:56,444
It's great.
420
00:12:56,446 --> 00:12:56,878
No problem.
421
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:58,680
We're going to bury him in it.
422
00:12:58,682 --> 00:12:59,547
He's not dead, Taco.
423
00:12:59,549 --> 00:13:00,815
He will be soon.
424
00:13:00,817 --> 00:13:02,817
(shouting): Ruxin!
425
00:13:02,819 --> 00:13:05,152
I brought you a special visitor!
426
00:13:05,154 --> 00:13:05,886
Look.
427
00:13:05,888 --> 00:13:08,823
My God, it's Matt Forte!
428
00:13:08,825 --> 00:13:09,858
How you doing, man?
429
00:13:09,860 --> 00:13:12,294
Deliverance here is going
to play the banjo for you.
430
00:13:12,296 --> 00:13:14,363
Classic Forte burn.
431
00:13:14,365 --> 00:13:16,833
When you get better, you're
coming to a game as my guest.
432
00:13:16,835 --> 00:13:18,367
Even got this signed football for you.
433
00:13:18,369 --> 00:13:20,903
Cool.
434
00:13:20,905 --> 00:13:21,904
(groans)
435
00:13:21,906 --> 00:13:23,172
Feel better, buddy.
436
00:13:23,174 --> 00:13:24,140
Take good care of that, bro.
437
00:13:24,142 --> 00:13:25,908
Bring it in, boys.
438
00:13:25,910 --> 00:13:27,209
Ruxin on three.
439
00:13:27,211 --> 00:13:30,579
One, two, three, Ruxin.
440
00:13:30,581 --> 00:13:30,913
Yeah.
441
00:13:30,915 --> 00:13:32,581
Great job.
442
00:13:32,583 --> 00:13:35,184
(bleep) you guys.
443
00:13:35,186 --> 00:13:37,419
The holidays is a time
for giving, Pete.
444
00:13:37,421 --> 00:13:37,953
Just give it up.
445
00:13:37,955 --> 00:13:39,321
I'm not going to win the Sacko.
446
00:13:39,323 --> 00:13:39,855
Come on.
447
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:40,689
It's not happening.
448
00:13:40,691 --> 00:13:41,424
Get over it.
449
00:13:41,426 --> 00:13:43,659
Hey, Vincent Van Slow, what
are you drawing over there?
450
00:13:43,661 --> 00:13:44,927
Ta-da.
451
00:13:44,929 --> 00:13:46,363
That's a funeral.
452
00:13:46,365 --> 00:13:47,497
Yep.
453
00:13:47,499 --> 00:13:49,700
All right, you know that
Ruxin's not going to die.
454
00:13:49,702 --> 00:13:52,069
He won the battle, not the war.
455
00:13:52,071 --> 00:13:53,403
Ho, ho, ho.
456
00:13:53,405 --> 00:13:54,771
Merry Sackmas.
457
00:13:54,773 --> 00:13:56,607
Oh, it's Sacko Claus.
458
00:13:56,609 --> 00:13:59,343
That's right-- everything in
that box represents the torture
459
00:13:59,345 --> 00:14:01,879
that I went through having the Sacko.
460
00:14:01,881 --> 00:14:06,416
The trophy, the outfits and of
course, the Sacko steak brands.
461
00:14:06,418 --> 00:14:07,617
Steak brands?
462
00:14:07,619 --> 00:14:09,385
Oh, you didn't hear about
Sacko steak night?
463
00:14:09,387 --> 00:14:09,886
No.
464
00:14:09,888 --> 00:14:11,721
Pete would come over to
my house once a week.
465
00:14:11,723 --> 00:14:12,888
I'd have to make him steak.
466
00:14:12,890 --> 00:14:13,856
Filet.
467
00:14:13,858 --> 00:14:17,393
And then I'd have to
brand it with the Shiva.
468
00:14:17,395 --> 00:14:21,897
And then brand my steak-- a lesser
grade of course-- with the Sacko.
469
00:14:21,899 --> 00:14:23,532
Of course, you are what you you eat.
470
00:14:23,534 --> 00:14:26,368
Well, you'll be eating a lot of
Sacko meat next year, my friend.
471
00:14:26,370 --> 00:14:27,269
I don't want that shit.
472
00:14:27,271 --> 00:14:28,103
Get it away from me.
473
00:14:28,105 --> 00:14:29,472
No, it's not mine anymore.
474
00:14:29,474 --> 00:14:30,473
Ooh! I'll take it.
475
00:14:30,475 --> 00:14:31,907
This stuff is perfect.
476
00:14:31,909 --> 00:14:33,309
You can hold on to it, Taco.
477
00:14:33,311 --> 00:14:35,778
Like Sacko escrow.
478
00:14:35,780 --> 00:14:36,646
What's up? Boom.
479
00:14:36,648 --> 00:14:37,614
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
480
00:14:37,616 --> 00:14:38,448
Move it! Scoot, scoot!
481
00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:39,615
What are you doing here?
482
00:14:39,617 --> 00:14:40,616
Excuse me, excuse me.
483
00:14:40,618 --> 00:14:41,918
I came to talk to my buddy.
484
00:14:41,920 --> 00:14:43,586
How do you know where I live?
485
00:14:43,588 --> 00:14:46,622
Hey, do you still have those butt plugs
with Bert and Ernie's face on them?
486
00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:48,925
Those were my daughter's tubby toys.
487
00:14:48,927 --> 00:14:50,460
She should not play with those.
488
00:14:50,462 --> 00:14:51,227
Those should be burned.
489
00:14:51,229 --> 00:14:52,862
Please don't come here anymore.
490
00:14:52,864 --> 00:14:54,096
I have team business for you.
491
00:14:54,098 --> 00:14:55,597
So, uh... Let's go.
492
00:14:55,599 --> 00:14:57,233
No, I don't want a knife.
493
00:14:57,235 --> 00:14:58,067
Excuse me, sir.
494
00:14:58,069 --> 00:14:58,868
Huge mistake.
495
00:14:58,870 --> 00:14:59,735
What's up?
496
00:14:59,737 --> 00:15:00,570
Yeah, okay.
497
00:15:00,572 --> 00:15:01,404
Knives back in your pocket.
498
00:15:01,406 --> 00:15:02,605
No knives in my house.
499
00:15:02,607 --> 00:15:03,439
Fine.
500
00:15:03,441 --> 00:15:05,474
By the way, I wanted to talk to
you-- you can't just add/drop
501
00:15:05,476 --> 00:15:06,242
players willy-nilly.
502
00:15:06,244 --> 00:15:07,877
You have to talk to me about that.
503
00:15:07,879 --> 00:15:09,879
No, that's what you're doing,
and it's pissing me off.
504
00:15:09,881 --> 00:15:10,747
You got to cut it out.
505
00:15:10,749 --> 00:15:12,482
Mario Manningham-- you picked him up.
506
00:15:12,484 --> 00:15:13,316
No, you picked him up!
507
00:15:13,318 --> 00:15:14,150
Who is that?
508
00:15:14,152 --> 00:15:15,085
Is he from Super Mario Bros.?
509
00:15:15,087 --> 00:15:16,786
Because, if it was on me, I
would have picked up Luigi.
510
00:15:16,788 --> 00:15:18,822
Look, if you're not picking him
up and I didn't pick him up,
511
00:15:18,824 --> 00:15:19,756
who picked him up?
512
00:15:19,758 --> 00:15:22,293
(Ruxin grunting)
513
00:15:22,295 --> 00:15:25,095
(slurred mumbling)
514
00:15:25,097 --> 00:15:28,333
I hate my team.
515
00:15:28,335 --> 00:15:34,840
No, no, I got to pick up... Oh, shit.
516
00:15:34,842 --> 00:15:36,909
Nurse!
517
00:15:37,990 --> 00:15:41,657
I need to pick up a wide receiver!
518
00:15:43,606 --> 00:15:45,841
Now, you are his wife?
519
00:15:47,008 --> 00:15:48,173
Yeah.
520
00:15:48,175 --> 00:15:49,141
Oh, okay.
521
00:15:49,143 --> 00:15:50,143
Okay, how's he doing?
522
00:15:50,145 --> 00:15:51,143
Is he getting better?
523
00:15:51,145 --> 00:15:52,144
What's happening?
524
00:15:52,146 --> 00:15:53,240
His motor skills are improving.
525
00:15:53,342 --> 00:15:54,342
That's the good news.
526
00:15:54,344 --> 00:15:55,970
That's really good.
When is he going to be able to walk?
527
00:15:56,090 --> 00:15:57,794
It's just too early to say.
528
00:15:57,914 --> 00:16:00,182
You have to be patient.
529
00:16:00,184 --> 00:16:01,517
Oh.
530
00:16:01,519 --> 00:16:03,485
Hey!
531
00:16:03,605 --> 00:16:04,481
Hi, babe.
532
00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,165
Hi, baby.
You're going to walk soon.
533
00:16:06,285 --> 00:16:07,522
I'm never gonna walk.
534
00:16:07,524 --> 00:16:08,790
You want to try?
535
00:16:08,792 --> 00:16:09,791
No.
536
00:16:09,793 --> 00:16:10,726
Come on!
537
00:16:10,728 --> 00:16:11,794
Move your legs.
538
00:16:11,796 --> 00:16:15,465
Best thing for her is
Botox in the bladder.
539
00:16:15,467 --> 00:16:17,867
It's a new thing, but we can
freeze that puppy right up.
540
00:16:17,869 --> 00:16:19,434
- Yeah.
- Come on, baby.
541
00:16:19,554 --> 00:16:20,704
You can do it.
542
00:16:20,706 --> 00:16:22,205
Rodney?
543
00:16:22,207 --> 00:16:26,209
Shiva?
544
00:16:26,211 --> 00:16:29,546
(sultry whisper): Ruxin.
545
00:16:29,548 --> 00:16:31,648
I'm yours.
546
00:16:31,650 --> 00:16:34,218
I'm still yours.
547
00:16:34,220 --> 00:16:37,220
I'm the Shiva.
548
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,162
(Ruxin grunting)
549
00:16:46,164 --> 00:16:48,864
There you go, babe.
550
00:16:48,866 --> 00:16:50,666
Good!
551
00:16:50,668 --> 00:16:52,167
Oh, my God.
552
00:16:52,169 --> 00:16:54,068
Oh, honey, that's so good.
553
00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,436
Yes!
554
00:16:55,438 --> 00:16:58,572
Yes, honey, yes, yes, yes!
555
00:16:58,574 --> 00:16:59,674
Honey, honey?
556
00:16:59,676 --> 00:17:00,574
I'm right here.
557
00:17:00,576 --> 00:17:01,609
You're still mine.
558
00:17:01,611 --> 00:17:03,177
You're still mine.
559
00:17:03,179 --> 00:17:05,546
(muffled mumbling)
560
00:17:05,548 --> 00:17:07,581
I am so sorry.
561
00:17:07,583 --> 00:17:09,082
I think he thinks you're me.
562
00:17:09,084 --> 00:17:11,418
Oh, no, this is the Shiva.
563
00:17:11,420 --> 00:17:12,920
Just Shiva.
564
00:17:12,922 --> 00:17:14,021
You're better!
565
00:17:14,023 --> 00:17:15,189
Yeah, doing great.
566
00:17:15,191 --> 00:17:16,190
How are you?
567
00:17:16,192 --> 00:17:18,126
I'm... I'm g... I'm good.
568
00:17:18,128 --> 00:17:20,027
(muffled chuckling)
569
00:17:20,029 --> 00:17:22,196
So how's Andre?
570
00:17:22,198 --> 00:17:24,465
Andre?
571
00:17:24,467 --> 00:17:25,399
(whispering): Andre.
572
00:17:25,401 --> 00:17:29,203
Oh, no, that human
kumquat's got my team.
573
00:17:33,208 --> 00:17:35,142
Holy shit, Kevin!
574
00:17:35,144 --> 00:17:37,445
You just won the Shiva Bowl!
575
00:17:37,447 --> 00:17:38,579
Did I?
576
00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:39,447
Really?
577
00:17:39,449 --> 00:17:40,548
Yes!
578
00:17:40,550 --> 00:17:41,582
Hey, where is Taco?
579
00:17:41,584 --> 00:17:43,551
I'm playing against a guy
who isn't even here.
580
00:17:43,553 --> 00:17:44,418
I mean, I invited him over.
581
00:17:44,420 --> 00:17:46,153
He said he had better things to do.
582
00:17:46,155 --> 00:17:47,488
Look, you won the bet.
583
00:17:47,490 --> 00:17:48,922
Huh?
584
00:17:48,924 --> 00:17:50,123
You are the champion.
585
00:17:50,125 --> 00:17:51,125
Am I?
586
00:17:51,127 --> 00:17:52,126
Yes.
587
00:17:52,128 --> 00:17:54,128
The season doesn't even count.
588
00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:55,129
I mean, Ruxin won the Sacko.
589
00:17:55,131 --> 00:17:56,130
Hallelujah!
590
00:17:56,132 --> 00:17:59,000
Saint Pete is not the Sacko!
591
00:17:59,002 --> 00:18:02,670
Mr. Ruxin will be having a
rough year ahead of him.
592
00:18:02,672 --> 00:18:06,240
Honestly, Ruxin should get a special
medical dispensation, which means...
593
00:18:06,242 --> 00:18:07,008
He had a stroke.
594
00:18:07,010 --> 00:18:08,876
Yeah, I think you should be the
sole owner of the fetid bull
595
00:18:08,878 --> 00:18:09,744
scrotum for next year.
596
00:18:09,746 --> 00:18:10,745
Congratulations, Andre.
597
00:18:10,747 --> 00:18:11,813
No, no, no, no, no.
598
00:18:11,815 --> 00:18:12,947
I do not get the Sacko.
599
00:18:12,949 --> 00:18:14,181
This is not fair at all.
600
00:18:14,183 --> 00:18:17,685
Ruxin asked me... Wait a second.
601
00:18:17,687 --> 00:18:19,186
This is a setup.
602
00:18:19,188 --> 00:18:20,755
Ruxin having the stroke.
603
00:18:20,757 --> 00:18:22,023
The video will.
604
00:18:22,025 --> 00:18:23,524
Oh, it just came out of nowhere.
605
00:18:23,526 --> 00:18:26,761
This whole thing has been an
elaborate setup just to get me
606
00:18:26,763 --> 00:18:28,696
to have the Sacko two years in a row.
607
00:18:28,698 --> 00:18:29,596
Well, guess what.
608
00:18:29,598 --> 00:18:31,131
The gig is up.
609
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:32,199
I think it's a jig.
610
00:18:32,201 --> 00:18:36,102
No, it's a gig because you go...
you play a gig, and when the gig is...
611
00:18:36,104 --> 00:18:36,869
But the jig is the dance.
612
00:18:36,871 --> 00:18:40,039
No, but the gig is-- when you finish
rockin' out, your gig is over.
613
00:18:40,041 --> 00:18:42,041
That's not where it comes from.
614
00:18:42,043 --> 00:18:43,042
Okay, you know what?
615
00:18:43,044 --> 00:18:44,043
I don't care what is up.
616
00:18:44,045 --> 00:18:45,378
I'm not going down like this.
617
00:18:45,380 --> 00:18:46,679
I'm not going down!
618
00:18:46,681 --> 00:18:49,682
All right, but as the Sacko
commissioner, I think I'm just
619
00:18:49,684 --> 00:18:52,952
going to have to say that...
it is decided.
620
00:18:52,954 --> 00:18:53,986
Mm-hmm.
621
00:18:53,988 --> 00:18:55,154
Oh, no.
622
00:18:55,156 --> 00:18:56,155
It's an honor.
623
00:18:56,157 --> 00:18:58,157
It's a Dre-peat.
Hey, guys?
624
00:18:58,159 --> 00:19:00,826
We just got invited to a funeral.
625
00:19:00,828 --> 00:19:01,894
Oh, shit.
626
00:19:01,896 --> 00:19:03,028
Is Ruxin dead?
627
00:19:03,030 --> 00:19:04,162
No, it's worse.
628
00:19:04,164 --> 00:19:06,131
He has a boat?
629
00:19:06,133 --> 00:19:08,867
Oh, how did this platypus get a boat?
630
00:19:08,869 --> 00:19:09,867
Shit.
631
00:19:09,869 --> 00:19:10,868
What is this?
632
00:19:10,870 --> 00:19:11,869
What is going on, man?
633
00:19:11,871 --> 00:19:13,871
I didn't think you guys would come.
634
00:19:13,873 --> 00:19:14,872
You didn't RSVP.
635
00:19:14,874 --> 00:19:15,872
Where did you get the boat?
636
00:19:15,874 --> 00:19:16,873
Over there.
637
00:19:16,875 --> 00:19:17,874
I broke the chain.
638
00:19:17,876 --> 00:19:18,875
What is all this stuff?
639
00:19:18,877 --> 00:19:19,877
It's everything!
640
00:19:19,879 --> 00:19:20,878
The Sacko, the Shiva?
641
00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:22,713
Yeah, it's a funeral for the league.
642
00:19:22,715 --> 00:19:23,981
We need to destroy this season.
643
00:19:23,983 --> 00:19:25,183
The Shiva?
644
00:19:25,185 --> 00:19:26,551
The... the cobra box?
645
00:19:26,553 --> 00:19:27,819
Kegel the Elf?
646
00:19:27,821 --> 00:19:30,088
He has nothing to do with any of this!
647
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:31,190
Whoa.
648
00:19:31,192 --> 00:19:32,191
That's my computer, man.
649
00:19:32,193 --> 00:19:33,994
Yeah, this is what we drafted on.
650
00:19:33,996 --> 00:19:35,896
This is where the evil all began.
651
00:19:35,898 --> 00:19:37,030
Oh, come on.
652
00:19:37,032 --> 00:19:39,600
I don't like what I saw
in you guys this year.
653
00:19:39,602 --> 00:19:41,201
This whole league is tarnished.
654
00:19:41,203 --> 00:19:45,606
We need to burn it, bury it and start
clean, just like Pete did with his wife.
655
00:19:45,608 --> 00:19:47,207
Taco, I didn't murder her.
656
00:19:47,209 --> 00:19:48,842
We got a divorce.
657
00:19:48,844 --> 00:19:50,711
Sacko steak, anyone?
658
00:19:50,713 --> 00:19:51,712
No!
659
00:19:51,714 --> 00:19:53,713
I got the meat from the
supplier of Yobogoya.
660
00:19:53,715 --> 00:19:54,714
No, I'm good.
661
00:19:54,716 --> 00:19:55,715
Thank you.
662
00:19:55,717 --> 00:19:56,716
Yobogoya!
663
00:19:56,718 --> 00:19:57,717
(sizzling)
664
00:19:57,719 --> 00:19:58,718
(horn honking)
665
00:19:58,720 --> 00:19:59,719
Whoa!
666
00:19:59,721 --> 00:20:00,720
Bobbum Van.
667
00:20:00,722 --> 00:20:01,721
Bobbum Man!
668
00:20:01,723 --> 00:20:03,723
He's going to mess with
my equipmunk again?
669
00:20:03,725 --> 00:20:04,724
What's up, chicks?
670
00:20:04,726 --> 00:20:05,725
Whoa.
671
00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:06,726
Let's do this.
672
00:20:06,728 --> 00:20:07,727
Viking funeral.
673
00:20:07,729 --> 00:20:08,728
We're going to burn him.
674
00:20:08,730 --> 00:20:10,896
We're going to chop him
up if we need to, guys.
675
00:20:10,898 --> 00:20:12,231
Call trophies if you want them.
676
00:20:12,233 --> 00:20:14,066
I've got one of his ears.
677
00:20:14,068 --> 00:20:15,234
(grunts)
678
00:20:15,236 --> 00:20:16,235
Who is that?
679
00:20:16,237 --> 00:20:17,537
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
680
00:20:17,539 --> 00:20:20,072
Jesus Christ, Raffi!
681
00:20:20,074 --> 00:20:21,140
I'm not dead!
682
00:20:21,142 --> 00:20:22,107
You will be, though.
683
00:20:22,109 --> 00:20:24,042
And, Raffi, what are you
listening to in your car?
684
00:20:24,044 --> 00:20:26,244
I'm listening to an audio
recording of a slaughterhouse.
685
00:20:26,246 --> 00:20:28,145
This is not my funeral, okay?
686
00:20:28,147 --> 00:20:30,915
This is the funeral of
this season of the league.
687
00:20:30,917 --> 00:20:32,950
I can make this all go away, you guys.
688
00:20:32,952 --> 00:20:33,951
Raffi!
689
00:20:33,953 --> 00:20:34,952
None of this counts.
690
00:20:34,954 --> 00:20:39,891
This whole season arrived in a clown
car of lies, and it never happened!
691
00:20:39,893 --> 00:20:44,062
Ruxin still reigns as champion,
and Andre still has the Sacko.
692
00:20:44,064 --> 00:20:45,196
What? No.
693
00:20:45,198 --> 00:20:46,931
No, no, no, no, I won.
694
00:20:46,933 --> 00:20:47,799
No, you didn't.
695
00:20:47,801 --> 00:20:49,935
Yes, I'm putting my name on the Shiva.
696
00:20:49,937 --> 00:20:50,803
No, you're not.
697
00:20:50,805 --> 00:20:53,072
I have got to win the Shiva,
because if I don't win the
698
00:20:53,074 --> 00:20:54,676
Shiva, then I don't win the bet!
699
00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,209
Hey, babe?
700
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,811
You won the bet.
701
00:20:57,813 --> 00:20:59,079
Huh?
702
00:20:59,081 --> 00:21:00,147
I'm pregnant.
703
00:21:00,149 --> 00:21:01,686
Wait, just because I won?
704
00:21:01,806 --> 00:21:03,524
No, I found out a couple days ago.
705
00:21:03,644 --> 00:21:04,909
We're going to have our own baby?
706
00:21:05,029 --> 00:21:05,788
Yeah.
707
00:21:05,908 --> 00:21:07,220
So excited!
708
00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:08,221
You sure it's not my baby?
709
00:21:08,223 --> 00:21:10,223
I did jerk off in your
underwear drawer.
710
00:21:10,225 --> 00:21:11,223
Ugh!
711
00:21:11,225 --> 00:21:12,158
All right, guys.
712
00:21:12,160 --> 00:21:12,992
Let's do this.
713
00:21:12,994 --> 00:21:13,859
No, no, no, no, no.
714
00:21:13,861 --> 00:21:14,860
Yes, we have to.
715
00:21:14,862 --> 00:21:16,595
- My torch!
- Taco, no!
716
00:21:16,597 --> 00:21:17,496
Step aside, brother.
717
00:21:17,498 --> 00:21:18,463
I'm the commissioner!
718
00:21:18,465 --> 00:21:19,464
You're a figurehead!
719
00:21:19,466 --> 00:21:21,233
Guys, guys, stop it!
720
00:21:21,235 --> 00:21:22,468
This is not your fight.
721
00:21:22,470 --> 00:21:23,469
Get out of the way!
722
00:21:23,471 --> 00:21:24,770
(screaming)
723
00:21:24,772 --> 00:21:27,240
Oh, oh, oh, shit!
724
00:21:27,242 --> 00:21:28,508
I'm on fire!
725
00:21:28,510 --> 00:21:29,609
Guys, I'm on fire!
726
00:21:29,611 --> 00:21:31,611
Oh, no, you fell on the Sacko brand!
727
00:21:31,613 --> 00:21:32,613
What?!
728
00:21:32,615 --> 00:21:34,615
Looks like you won the Sacko after all.
729
00:21:34,617 --> 00:21:35,616
Yeah, and this one counts.
730
00:21:35,618 --> 00:21:36,951
Dicks!
731
00:21:36,953 --> 00:21:38,252
Yay!
732
00:21:38,254 --> 00:21:39,487
Andre, help!
733
00:21:39,489 --> 00:21:40,488
It's an emergency.
734
00:21:40,490 --> 00:21:41,489
Sorry, buddy.
735
00:21:41,491 --> 00:21:42,990
It is time.
736
00:21:42,992 --> 00:21:48,196
Oh, Pete, every night's going
to be Sacko steak night now!
737
00:21:48,198 --> 00:21:50,631
Adios, Shiva Komedi.
738
00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:52,632
No, what are you doing?!
739
00:21:52,634 --> 00:21:53,700
Oh, my God!
740
00:21:53,702 --> 00:21:54,868
Burn!
741
00:21:54,870 --> 00:22:01,508
You can take my draft pick, but
you can never take my Shiva!
742
00:22:01,510 --> 00:22:02,676
No.
743
00:22:02,678 --> 00:22:04,212
This season never happened.
744
00:22:04,214 --> 00:22:05,713
Yes, it did.
745
00:22:05,715 --> 00:22:06,937
- Yes, it did.
- Kevin, what are you doing?
746
00:22:07,057 --> 00:22:08,648
Kevin, you have everything you want.
747
00:22:08,765 --> 00:22:09,764
We're having a baby.
748
00:22:09,766 --> 00:22:11,033
Any asshole can be a father.
749
00:22:11,035 --> 00:22:12,401
I want to be a champion!
750
00:22:12,403 --> 00:22:13,235
What?
751
00:22:13,237 --> 00:22:15,638
I'm coming, baby!
752
00:22:15,640 --> 00:22:16,972
Shiva Komedi!
753
00:22:16,974 --> 00:22:18,074
Oh, my God!
754
00:22:18,076 --> 00:22:19,109
Go, Brian!
755
00:22:19,111 --> 00:22:21,110
Somakanakram!
756
00:22:21,112 --> 00:22:22,711
My brother's such an idiot.
757
00:22:22,713 --> 00:22:26,234
Shiva Komedi Somakanakram!
758
00:22:26,691 --> 00:22:37,558
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759
00:22:37,608 --> 00:22:42,158
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