All language subtitles for The Goldbergs s05e10 We Didnt Start the Fire.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,004 --> 00:00:02,501 Ever since I was a kid, Billy Joel was my musical idol. 2 00:00:02,656 --> 00:00:05,419 I loved every album and video, but he blew my mind 3 00:00:05,605 --> 00:00:07,818 when he released a song like no other... 4 00:00:07,923 --> 00:00:09,890 ? We didn't start the fire ? 5 00:00:09,925 --> 00:00:12,226 "We Didn't Start the Fire" was an instant classic. 6 00:00:12,261 --> 00:00:14,228 The moment I heard it, I was obsessed. 7 00:00:14,263 --> 00:00:17,364 ? Joseph Stalin, Malenkov, Nasser, and Prokofiev ? 8 00:00:17,399 --> 00:00:18,765 - ? Rockefeller, Campanella ? - What is he doing? 9 00:00:18,801 --> 00:00:21,868 It's like Billy Joel is singing, but also rapping. 10 00:00:21,904 --> 00:00:25,505 No, it's like he's rapping, but also singing. 11 00:00:25,541 --> 00:00:28,442 It became a point of pride to memorize the lyrics. 12 00:00:28,477 --> 00:00:29,910 ? ...Sugar Ray, Panmunjom ? [Tape rewinds] 13 00:00:29,945 --> 00:00:31,278 And back before the Internet, 14 00:00:31,313 --> 00:00:33,647 the only way to learn them was to just listen. 15 00:00:33,682 --> 00:00:35,148 The hell are you doing?! 16 00:00:35,184 --> 00:00:36,149 It's the middle of the night! 17 00:00:36,185 --> 00:00:37,150 Dad, thank God! 18 00:00:37,186 --> 00:00:39,086 It is "Pumajob?" "Pacman job?" 19 00:00:39,121 --> 00:00:40,654 Put on the damn headphones. What is he saying? 20 00:00:40,689 --> 00:00:42,055 He's saying you're a moron. 21 00:00:42,091 --> 00:00:44,591 Now go to bed, and also learn some history! 22 00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,027 And the best part? I did! 23 00:00:47,062 --> 00:00:49,463 Billy Joel actually made me good at school. 24 00:00:49,498 --> 00:00:52,199 So, yes. We didn't start the fire. 25 00:00:52,234 --> 00:00:54,134 In fact, it burned right from Harry Truman 26 00:00:54,169 --> 00:00:55,602 to the great cola wars. 27 00:00:55,638 --> 00:00:57,204 [Applause] 28 00:00:57,239 --> 00:00:59,139 Normally, I am not a fan of popular music, 29 00:00:59,174 --> 00:01:01,141 but this song teaches and entertains. 30 00:01:01,176 --> 00:01:02,609 You don't like music? 31 00:01:02,645 --> 00:01:05,479 No. I enjoy the dulcet tones of AM talk radio. 32 00:01:05,514 --> 00:01:07,414 That's sad. I feel sad for you. 33 00:01:08,284 --> 00:01:09,883 I mean, traffic, sports, weather, 34 00:01:09,918 --> 00:01:11,918 you've got it all! But most importantly, 35 00:01:11,954 --> 00:01:14,755 Billy Joel taught me girls dig rock stars. 36 00:01:14,790 --> 00:01:18,725 ? Rock and Roller cola wars, I can't take it anymore ? 37 00:01:18,761 --> 00:01:20,827 Wow! That was totally badass. 38 00:01:20,863 --> 00:01:22,396 You like how I flipped over the He-Man table? 39 00:01:22,431 --> 00:01:24,131 You know what? You should perform that song 40 00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:25,232 in the holiday talent show. 41 00:01:25,267 --> 00:01:26,867 - You think? - I know. 42 00:01:26,902 --> 00:01:28,602 Not to completely objectify you, 43 00:01:28,637 --> 00:01:31,138 but the whole thing was insanely hot. 44 00:01:31,173 --> 00:01:32,506 Me, hot? 45 00:01:32,541 --> 00:01:34,975 Yeahhh, oh! [Chuckles nervously] 46 00:01:35,010 --> 00:01:36,677 Never thought I'd hear that from a girl. 47 00:01:36,712 --> 00:01:38,679 Is it warm? My cheeks are burning. 48 00:01:38,714 --> 00:01:40,781 What can I say? You make quite the Billy Joel. 49 00:01:40,816 --> 00:01:42,416 More like Boopie Joel. 50 00:01:42,451 --> 00:01:45,185 ? Schmoo didn't start the fire ? 51 00:01:45,220 --> 00:01:48,155 ? But his cheeks are gushy and his tushy's squooshy ? 52 00:01:48,190 --> 00:01:49,156 Give me a little nibble. 53 00:01:49,191 --> 00:01:50,590 Just look away, Jackie! Look away! 54 00:01:50,626 --> 00:01:51,558 I am looking away, 55 00:01:51,593 --> 00:01:52,592 but there's a mirror right there. 56 00:01:52,628 --> 00:01:53,827 [Growling] Aaaah! 57 00:01:53,862 --> 00:01:55,095 [Laughs] 58 00:01:55,130 --> 00:01:56,763 ? I'm twisted up inside ? 59 00:01:56,799 --> 00:02:00,133 ? But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ? 60 00:02:00,169 --> 00:02:02,636 Synced and Corrected by YesCool www.addic7ed.com 61 00:02:02,671 --> 00:02:04,004 ? I don't know the future ? 62 00:02:04,039 --> 00:02:08,108 ? But the past keeps getting clearer every day ? 63 00:02:08,143 --> 00:02:10,444 It was December 13, 1980-something, 64 00:02:10,479 --> 00:02:13,013 and Erica was back from college for winter break. 65 00:02:13,048 --> 00:02:14,348 I have an announcement. 66 00:02:14,383 --> 00:02:15,749 We've spent a lot of time together 67 00:02:15,784 --> 00:02:17,984 this holiday break, too much in fact. 68 00:02:18,020 --> 00:02:20,087 - You've been home for one day. - You're feeling it, too. 69 00:02:20,122 --> 00:02:22,556 Which is why I will be spending the first night of Hanukkah 70 00:02:22,591 --> 00:02:24,024 - at Geoff's house. - What?! 71 00:02:24,059 --> 00:02:26,059 His parents invited me, and I don't want to be here, 72 00:02:26,095 --> 00:02:27,527 so it's all lining up. 73 00:02:27,563 --> 00:02:28,795 Murray, your daughter wants to spend 74 00:02:28,831 --> 00:02:30,764 the holiest day of the year without the family. 75 00:02:30,799 --> 00:02:32,265 - Say something! - Holy?! 76 00:02:32,301 --> 00:02:34,234 Most years, we give up halfway through. 77 00:02:34,269 --> 00:02:36,069 Murray, don't interrupt. 78 00:02:36,105 --> 00:02:38,572 It's a very special day, so at the very least, 79 00:02:38,607 --> 00:02:39,706 we should come with you. 80 00:02:39,742 --> 00:02:41,408 Ooh, one problem... 81 00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:42,676 - You're not invited. - Please. 82 00:02:42,711 --> 00:02:44,611 Linda and Lou Schwartz are friends. 83 00:02:44,646 --> 00:02:45,712 They'd love to have us. 84 00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:46,913 You've never even talked to them. 85 00:02:46,949 --> 00:02:49,116 Well, I sent Linda a beautifully-worded note 86 00:02:49,151 --> 00:02:50,484 when Murray ran over her foot. 87 00:02:50,519 --> 00:02:51,985 I signed my name at the bottom. 88 00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:53,720 You are not crashing their dinner, 89 00:02:53,756 --> 00:02:55,222 end of story! 90 00:02:55,257 --> 00:02:56,656 Damn it! Quick, grab your pants. 91 00:02:56,692 --> 00:02:58,725 The Schwartzes are clearly making a play to take Hanukkah! 92 00:02:58,761 --> 00:02:59,559 Who's doing what now? 93 00:02:59,595 --> 00:03:00,894 Murray, it is crucial 94 00:03:00,929 --> 00:03:03,263 that we establish ourselves as the fun parents 95 00:03:03,298 --> 00:03:04,698 who host all the holidays. 96 00:03:04,733 --> 00:03:06,933 That way, if Geoff and Erica ever get married, 97 00:03:06,969 --> 00:03:08,168 they come to us. 98 00:03:08,203 --> 00:03:09,970 Not those bastards. Us. 99 00:03:10,005 --> 00:03:11,872 Okay, I'm hearing a lot of worry 100 00:03:11,907 --> 00:03:14,808 about things far in the future that I don't care about. 101 00:03:14,843 --> 00:03:16,243 Oh, you better care! 102 00:03:16,278 --> 00:03:18,078 Hanukkah is a gateway holiday. 103 00:03:18,113 --> 00:03:19,980 If they take that, then they take Thanksgiving, 104 00:03:20,015 --> 00:03:21,715 then the 4th of July, then we're left 105 00:03:21,750 --> 00:03:23,817 with some crap holiday, like Labor Day! 106 00:03:23,852 --> 00:03:26,553 What's wrong with Labor Day? It's quiet and we eat hot dogs! 107 00:03:26,588 --> 00:03:29,322 And so my mom swore she'd win Hanukkah. 108 00:03:29,358 --> 00:03:31,324 Meanwhile, I was ready to win over the crowd. 109 00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:32,359 Ow! 110 00:03:32,394 --> 00:03:34,027 [Laughs] 111 00:03:34,062 --> 00:03:35,362 That's the best. 112 00:03:35,397 --> 00:03:37,097 Still getting used to wearing my shades indoors 113 00:03:37,132 --> 00:03:38,031 like the Piano Man. 114 00:03:38,066 --> 00:03:39,332 You're no Piano Man. 115 00:03:39,368 --> 00:03:40,700 Tell that to Jackie, 116 00:03:40,736 --> 00:03:43,236 who strongly urged my hot bod to do the talent show. 117 00:03:43,272 --> 00:03:47,040 Come on! What upside-down world are we living in here? 118 00:03:47,075 --> 00:03:49,409 How do you have a girlfriend and confidence 119 00:03:49,445 --> 00:03:51,077 and a modest amount of popularity? 120 00:03:51,113 --> 00:03:52,446 Hello! 121 00:03:52,481 --> 00:03:53,713 Pops! 122 00:03:53,749 --> 00:03:55,315 He's helped me with all of it. 123 00:03:55,350 --> 00:03:58,285 He's even the one who gave me the idea to serenade Jackie, 124 00:03:58,320 --> 00:03:59,986 and like always, he was right. 125 00:04:00,022 --> 00:04:03,356 Wait, you take love advice from our old grandpa 126 00:04:03,392 --> 00:04:05,959 who uses an entire tin of cream cheese on one bagel? 127 00:04:05,994 --> 00:04:08,595 He helps me every day. You're just realizing that now? 128 00:04:08,630 --> 00:04:10,063 That's why you're always chatting him up? 129 00:04:10,098 --> 00:04:11,231 What did you think I was doing? 130 00:04:11,266 --> 00:04:12,532 I thought you were trying to get his gold. 131 00:04:12,568 --> 00:04:13,700 He doesn't have any gold. 132 00:04:13,735 --> 00:04:15,802 All old people have gold. 133 00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,504 The gold is his wisdom. 134 00:04:17,539 --> 00:04:18,738 - Lame! - Fine. 135 00:04:18,774 --> 00:04:20,173 Pops is lame, and so am I. 136 00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:22,609 Lame or not, Barry couldn't deny Pops had helped me, 137 00:04:22,644 --> 00:04:24,211 and so, with great humility, 138 00:04:24,246 --> 00:04:25,779 he asked for guidance. 139 00:04:25,814 --> 00:04:26,746 Hey! My bagel! 140 00:04:26,782 --> 00:04:27,814 Forget the bagel. 141 00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:30,250 Schmear me with knowledge, old timer. 142 00:04:30,285 --> 00:04:33,553 Wait. Are you actually coming to me for advice? 143 00:04:33,589 --> 00:04:36,656 I realized you made Adam suck way less. 144 00:04:36,692 --> 00:04:37,791 Be my sensei, 145 00:04:37,826 --> 00:04:40,126 and I will follow whatever ancient wisdom 146 00:04:40,162 --> 00:04:42,529 you have in that tired old frame of yours. 147 00:04:42,564 --> 00:04:45,198 As insulting as that is, why not? 148 00:04:45,234 --> 00:04:46,867 I like a good challenge. 149 00:04:46,902 --> 00:04:48,535 I am a challenge. 150 00:04:48,570 --> 00:04:51,705 He was, but my mom faced an even bigger challenge, 151 00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:55,141 making sure she didn't lose Hanukkah to the Schwartzes. 152 00:04:55,177 --> 00:04:57,878 Linda, my God, these latkes are to die for! 153 00:04:57,913 --> 00:04:58,845 Oh, it was nothing. 154 00:04:58,881 --> 00:05:00,113 She's not one to toot her own horn, 155 00:05:00,148 --> 00:05:01,681 but I will... Toot-toot! 156 00:05:01,717 --> 00:05:02,949 [Chuckling] 157 00:05:02,985 --> 00:05:04,885 Am I crazy, or is this actually going well? 158 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:06,920 Oh! Almost forgot. 159 00:05:06,955 --> 00:05:08,688 Presents! 160 00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:09,823 Whoa! Whoa, whoa! Wait! Wait, wait. 161 00:05:09,858 --> 00:05:11,858 No one said anything about a gift exchange. 162 00:05:11,894 --> 00:05:13,493 - We didn't bring anything. - Oh, don't worry. 163 00:05:13,529 --> 00:05:15,095 We just got you a little something, 164 00:05:15,130 --> 00:05:17,797 classic first night gift, no big deal. 165 00:05:17,833 --> 00:05:20,133 Holy crap! Streisand tickets? 166 00:05:20,168 --> 00:05:21,501 Summer sausage?! 167 00:05:21,537 --> 00:05:22,636 Who are you? 168 00:05:22,671 --> 00:05:25,639 An indestructible rubber Sony Sports Walkman?! 169 00:05:25,674 --> 00:05:27,807 I always get crappy socks on the first night. 170 00:05:27,843 --> 00:05:28,909 Not always! 171 00:05:28,944 --> 00:05:30,610 Last year, we forgot about it completely, 172 00:05:30,646 --> 00:05:32,812 and then on the fourth night, we were like, "Hanukkah!" 173 00:05:32,848 --> 00:05:35,649 Ha! She's wrong. She's a big stupid liar. 174 00:05:35,684 --> 00:05:38,752 Point is, the holidays are just as special to us. 175 00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:40,086 A savings bond? 176 00:05:40,122 --> 00:05:41,388 I can't touch this for 10 years! 177 00:05:41,423 --> 00:05:43,957 - So sensible! - Look at that punim! 178 00:05:43,992 --> 00:05:45,892 We're like twins! Look at us! 179 00:05:45,928 --> 00:05:47,627 Well, look at this! [Laughs] 180 00:05:47,663 --> 00:05:49,262 [Sing-song] We're twins, too! 181 00:05:49,298 --> 00:05:50,830 Mm! 182 00:05:50,866 --> 00:05:53,533 See this? This is the real gift... 183 00:05:53,569 --> 00:05:56,269 Erica and the Goldbergs here for the holidays. 184 00:05:56,305 --> 00:05:59,272 It's the best! You guys are the best. 185 00:05:59,308 --> 00:06:00,840 Those people are human trash! 186 00:06:00,876 --> 00:06:03,710 Come on! All the man did was give you Streisand tickets. 187 00:06:03,745 --> 00:06:05,345 Third row center? 188 00:06:05,380 --> 00:06:07,480 Best seats in the house? 189 00:06:07,516 --> 00:06:10,183 These people are monsters who will steal our children. 190 00:06:10,218 --> 00:06:12,719 While my mom envisioned a lonely future, 191 00:06:12,754 --> 00:06:14,087 Pops was reminding Barry 192 00:06:14,122 --> 00:06:16,556 of his epic freshman year talent show routine... 193 00:06:16,592 --> 00:06:18,047 - Hyah! - ...when he karate-kicked 194 00:06:18,194 --> 00:06:21,428 - his way to glory. - That was quite a night, huh? 195 00:06:21,463 --> 00:06:23,430 It was the first night Lainey noticed me. 196 00:06:23,465 --> 00:06:24,631 Best of my life. 197 00:06:24,666 --> 00:06:26,433 What if I said I could help you top it? 198 00:06:26,468 --> 00:06:28,468 You think if I do that show, I can get a new Lainey? 199 00:06:28,503 --> 00:06:30,704 If Adam can impress a girl with a serenade, 200 00:06:30,739 --> 00:06:31,905 so can you. 201 00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:34,107 And so, Barry took Pops' advice, 202 00:06:34,142 --> 00:06:35,642 perhaps a little too literally. 203 00:06:35,677 --> 00:06:36,543 Mr. Glascott! 204 00:06:36,578 --> 00:06:38,945 Oh, my God... Oh, my Pop-Tart! 205 00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,280 Today was my cheat day! 206 00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:41,648 I have huge news. 207 00:06:41,683 --> 00:06:43,249 I'm signing up for the talent show. 208 00:06:43,285 --> 00:06:44,351 I know it's last minute, 209 00:06:44,386 --> 00:06:46,052 but I will not take "no" for an answer. 210 00:06:46,088 --> 00:06:48,588 And you won't have to. There's like 14 spots left. 211 00:06:48,624 --> 00:06:50,457 Then consider it your lucky day 212 00:06:50,492 --> 00:06:52,359 'cause you just got yourself your opening act. 213 00:06:52,394 --> 00:06:54,728 Okay, you seem way too fired up about this. 214 00:06:54,763 --> 00:06:56,162 Let me be painfully clear. 215 00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:57,964 This is a holiday talent show. 216 00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,299 None of it matters. 217 00:06:59,334 --> 00:07:00,900 Oh, it matters. 218 00:07:00,936 --> 00:07:02,402 This is the game-changer I need 219 00:07:02,437 --> 00:07:04,638 to become the most popular kid in high school once again! 220 00:07:04,673 --> 00:07:05,705 It's really not. 221 00:07:05,741 --> 00:07:07,641 Honestly, this isn't some high-stakes, 222 00:07:07,676 --> 00:07:09,142 life-defining event. 223 00:07:09,177 --> 00:07:10,343 It's just a wasted night. 224 00:07:10,379 --> 00:07:12,479 Then it's up to me to prove you wrong. 225 00:07:12,514 --> 00:07:15,215 No! Do not use me to raise the stakes any further. 226 00:07:15,250 --> 00:07:16,650 Just sign up and move on. 227 00:07:16,685 --> 00:07:17,917 Mr. Glascott! 228 00:07:17,953 --> 00:07:20,320 Big news, I'm gonna sing "We Didn't Start the Fire" 229 00:07:20,355 --> 00:07:21,388 at the talent show. 230 00:07:21,423 --> 00:07:22,722 No one cares! 231 00:07:22,758 --> 00:07:24,290 What he means to say is 232 00:07:24,326 --> 00:07:26,026 you can do anything but that song. 233 00:07:26,061 --> 00:07:27,227 I'm opening the show with it. 234 00:07:27,262 --> 00:07:28,662 You can't just take my song. 235 00:07:28,697 --> 00:07:31,564 I'm just doing as my sensei, Pops, commands. 236 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:33,266 Pops isn't your sensei. 237 00:07:33,301 --> 00:07:34,834 He's my Jedi Master, 238 00:07:34,870 --> 00:07:37,370 and he'd never tell you to do the same song as me! 239 00:07:37,406 --> 00:07:38,471 Hey, Barry, heard you were 240 00:07:38,507 --> 00:07:39,939 opening the talent show with Billy Joel. 241 00:07:39,975 --> 00:07:42,342 Why, yes, I am, Jamie Weisman. 242 00:07:42,377 --> 00:07:43,543 See you there. 243 00:07:43,578 --> 00:07:45,245 What do you know? It's already working. 244 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:47,213 How the hell did she already know you were doing the show? 245 00:07:47,249 --> 00:07:48,481 It literally just happened. 246 00:07:48,517 --> 00:07:50,583 She knew because Barry woke up early 247 00:07:50,619 --> 00:07:52,952 and posted a few fliers around school -- 248 00:07:52,988 --> 00:07:53,953 a few hundred. 249 00:07:53,989 --> 00:07:55,021 Balls! 250 00:07:55,057 --> 00:07:57,390 "Holiday Talent Show featuring Barry Joel?" 251 00:07:57,426 --> 00:07:59,159 Don't worry. I'm still gonna sing our song. 252 00:07:59,194 --> 00:08:01,027 It's kind of feeling like your brother's song. 253 00:08:01,063 --> 00:08:02,362 It does feel that way. 254 00:08:02,397 --> 00:08:05,498 [Music played] 255 00:08:06,299 --> 00:08:07,597 It was the second day of Hanukkah, 256 00:08:07,795 --> 00:08:09,504 and my mom had her eyes on the prize, 257 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,675 stealing the holiday back from Lou Schwartz. 258 00:08:11,858 --> 00:08:14,491 Thank you so much for seeing me last minute, Dr. Schwartz. 259 00:08:14,526 --> 00:08:16,726 That's Lou to you. We're practically family now. 260 00:08:16,762 --> 00:08:17,894 Aww. Speaking of, 261 00:08:17,930 --> 00:08:20,130 I wanted to thank you for last night 262 00:08:20,165 --> 00:08:21,298 by hosting you guys 263 00:08:21,333 --> 00:08:22,999 for the second night of Hanukkah. 264 00:08:23,035 --> 00:08:24,734 Hold still for drops. 265 00:08:24,770 --> 00:08:26,603 While I do appreciate the offer, 266 00:08:26,638 --> 00:08:28,839 night two is a Schwartz family favorite, 267 00:08:28,874 --> 00:08:29,906 so we'll be hosting it. 268 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:32,776 Well, your son already formally RSVP'd. 269 00:08:32,811 --> 00:08:35,045 I cornered him at school, and he signed the response card. 270 00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,313 Fine. You take night two. 271 00:08:36,348 --> 00:08:37,848 We'll do nights three through eight. 272 00:08:37,883 --> 00:08:39,783 Six nights and the closer? 273 00:08:39,818 --> 00:08:41,318 Okay, then you can take night four. 274 00:08:41,353 --> 00:08:43,620 The hump day of Hanukkah? How dare you. 275 00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:44,688 How dare me, what? 276 00:08:44,723 --> 00:08:46,623 I don't understand why you're so worked up. 277 00:08:46,658 --> 00:08:48,058 Cut the crap, Schwartz! 278 00:08:48,093 --> 00:08:50,327 You're trying to steal Hanukkah, and it ain't happening. 279 00:08:50,362 --> 00:08:52,529 Like always, my mom had spiraled out, 280 00:08:52,564 --> 00:08:54,197 but this time, she was right. 281 00:08:54,233 --> 00:08:55,765 - Fine! - I knew it! 282 00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,235 - You got me. - You are not taking Hanukkah. 283 00:08:58,270 --> 00:08:59,736 Oh! I'm taking it. 284 00:08:59,771 --> 00:09:01,805 I'm taking all the big-ticket holidays, 285 00:09:01,840 --> 00:09:02,939 and you can't stop it. 286 00:09:02,975 --> 00:09:04,307 Oh, I'll stop it when I throw 287 00:09:04,343 --> 00:09:07,377 the most mind-blowing night two in Hanukkah history! 288 00:09:07,412 --> 00:09:09,779 - You'll see. - Too bad you won't. 289 00:09:09,815 --> 00:09:11,314 What did you do? 290 00:09:11,350 --> 00:09:14,818 In a few minutes, your pupils will dilate up real nicely. 291 00:09:14,853 --> 00:09:17,821 Good luck frying up a latke in a hazy blur. 292 00:09:17,856 --> 00:09:19,289 You blinded me from Hanukkah? 293 00:09:19,324 --> 00:09:21,057 Yes. For three whole hours. 294 00:09:21,093 --> 00:09:23,326 You have made a dangerous mistake, Lou Schwartz! 295 00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:25,262 Blinding me has only fueled my anger, 296 00:09:25,297 --> 00:09:27,531 and I will use my rage to peel more potatoes 297 00:09:27,566 --> 00:09:29,533 - than I've ever peeled! - Better watch your fingers. 298 00:09:29,568 --> 00:09:31,368 And you better bring your appetite, 299 00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:34,137 'cause once I sour cream and applesauce up a latke, 300 00:09:34,172 --> 00:09:36,339 it is game, set, Hanukkah! 301 00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:40,610 [Music played] 302 00:09:40,646 --> 00:09:42,245 This is a war you won't win! 303 00:09:42,281 --> 00:09:44,180 I already have! 304 00:09:44,216 --> 00:09:46,383 As my mom stumbled off to dominate Hanukkah, 305 00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,219 my brother was mastering Billy Joel's lyrics. 306 00:09:49,254 --> 00:09:51,021 ? Harry Truman, Doris Day ? 307 00:09:51,056 --> 00:09:53,790 Back before Google, it took patience and a good ear. 308 00:09:53,825 --> 00:09:56,092 Sadly, Barry had neither. 309 00:09:56,128 --> 00:09:57,761 ? Joe is stallin' Mellor's cough ? 310 00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,563 ? Nose hairs and pro coffee pots ? 311 00:09:59,598 --> 00:10:01,231 ? Rock your fella, salmonella ? 312 00:10:01,266 --> 00:10:02,966 ? Chickens say "Bock!" ? 313 00:10:03,001 --> 00:10:04,668 ? Toy bone, on the phone ? 314 00:10:04,703 --> 00:10:06,403 ? Tossed panini, yay scones ? 315 00:10:06,438 --> 00:10:08,104 ? Ben's friend Lew Falls ? 316 00:10:08,140 --> 00:10:09,839 ? Walk around the block ? 317 00:10:09,875 --> 00:10:11,408 ? Barf-O, booed a breast ? 318 00:10:11,443 --> 00:10:13,143 ? Slamma Jamma, crew's Chest ? 319 00:10:13,178 --> 00:10:14,844 ? Prince is great, paper plates ? 320 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,713 ? Trouble with Aunt Suzy ? 321 00:10:16,748 --> 00:10:19,516 ? We didn't start the fire ? 322 00:10:19,551 --> 00:10:21,451 ? Blah-blah-blah-blah, blah-blah-blah ? 323 00:10:21,486 --> 00:10:22,852 ? Blah, blah, blah ? 324 00:10:22,888 --> 00:10:23,887 ? Blah, blah, blah ? 325 00:10:23,922 --> 00:10:25,589 You get it! What do you think? 326 00:10:25,624 --> 00:10:26,623 I think it's amazing. 327 00:10:26,658 --> 00:10:28,425 Do the song exactly like that, pal. 328 00:10:28,460 --> 00:10:30,427 Never let me stand in your way again. 329 00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:34,164 A more insecure man would wonder why he's so pleased. 330 00:10:34,199 --> 00:10:35,298 But I'm not such a man. 331 00:10:35,334 --> 00:10:37,367 Um, Bar, I think you messed up 332 00:10:37,402 --> 00:10:38,735 a couple of lyrics there. 333 00:10:38,770 --> 00:10:40,971 Mmm... no. 334 00:10:41,006 --> 00:10:43,006 Dude, who's awful idea was this? 335 00:10:43,041 --> 00:10:44,307 That'd be me. 336 00:10:44,343 --> 00:10:45,909 I'm his sensei. 337 00:10:45,944 --> 00:10:47,310 Mr. Grandpa, sir, I would like 338 00:10:47,346 --> 00:10:49,279 to go on record and respectfully say 339 00:10:49,314 --> 00:10:51,715 that your advice will destroy Barry's life 340 00:10:51,750 --> 00:10:53,216 and that you suck at this. 341 00:10:53,251 --> 00:10:55,352 While Pops was regretting the talent show, 342 00:10:55,387 --> 00:10:57,038 my mom couldn't wait to show the 343 00:10:57,039 --> 00:10:58,039 Schwartzes a real Hanukkah. [Doorbell rings] 344 00:10:58,190 --> 00:10:59,356 Knock, knock! 345 00:10:59,391 --> 00:11:02,058 Not sure if you can see us, but we're here! 346 00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:03,059 Doesn't matter! 347 00:11:03,095 --> 00:11:04,794 I can cook dinner with my eyes closed. 348 00:11:04,830 --> 00:11:07,163 Come on in. Sorry the place is such a mess. 349 00:11:07,199 --> 00:11:09,299 A mess? Look at this house. 350 00:11:09,334 --> 00:11:11,801 It's like a Hanukkah winter wonderland. 351 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:12,769 Yeah, what's the deal? 352 00:11:12,804 --> 00:11:14,070 We usually just light a candle 353 00:11:14,106 --> 00:11:15,972 and get a lame gift, like dental floss. 354 00:11:16,008 --> 00:11:18,608 Stop. When it comes to the Festival of Lights, 355 00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:21,478 the Goldbergs really know how to turn it on. 356 00:11:22,214 --> 00:11:24,347 Wow. [Chuckles] That is so festive. 357 00:11:24,383 --> 00:11:25,482 And dangerous. 358 00:11:25,517 --> 00:11:27,717 Last thing I'd want is for you to burst into flames 359 00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,286 so we'd have to host Hanukkah every year. 360 00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,555 You know what's even better? Presents! 361 00:11:32,591 --> 00:11:33,556 [Chuckles] 362 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,258 $100? That's insane! 363 00:11:35,293 --> 00:11:37,160 That's what you get when you do Hanukkah here. 364 00:11:37,195 --> 00:11:38,194 Remember that. 365 00:11:38,230 --> 00:11:40,530 And, uh.... we have a gift for Erica. 366 00:11:40,565 --> 00:11:41,998 We do? 367 00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,533 $32. 368 00:11:43,568 --> 00:11:46,102 And a shammy for your glasses. 369 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:47,737 Don't be silly. It's time for dinner. 370 00:11:47,773 --> 00:11:50,707 I hope you have enough room for eight courses. 371 00:11:50,742 --> 00:11:52,075 Prepare your tummies! 372 00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:53,877 - Whoa! - Damn! 373 00:11:53,912 --> 00:11:55,712 Face it, Schwartz, you're out of your league. 374 00:11:55,747 --> 00:11:57,180 That's it, We settle this the way our people 375 00:11:57,215 --> 00:11:58,948 have settled fights for thousands of years. 376 00:11:58,984 --> 00:12:00,116 - In court? - No. 377 00:12:00,152 --> 00:12:01,551 With a game of Dreidel. 378 00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:03,353 Winner takes all eight nights. 379 00:12:03,388 --> 00:12:06,356 And I never lose with my lucky spinning top. 380 00:12:06,391 --> 00:12:07,657 Until now. 381 00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:09,225 Let's light this candle. 382 00:12:09,261 --> 00:12:10,293 [Clicks] 383 00:12:10,328 --> 00:12:12,762 ["Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" plays] 384 00:12:15,701 --> 00:12:17,901 ? [Quietly] Together, we will play ? 385 00:12:17,936 --> 00:12:19,202 [Music played] 386 00:12:19,237 --> 00:12:21,104 Hey, kiddo. 387 00:12:21,139 --> 00:12:23,373 I've been thinking about the talent show. 388 00:12:23,408 --> 00:12:26,176 Maybe we should give that little song back to Adam. 389 00:12:26,211 --> 00:12:27,444 No can do. 390 00:12:27,479 --> 00:12:29,746 I already sent Billy Joel the parking directions. 391 00:12:29,781 --> 00:12:30,914 No, that's smart, 392 00:12:30,949 --> 00:12:33,349 but I think you'd make a much bigger splash 393 00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:34,884 by doing something funny. 394 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:36,753 But it took me forever to perfectly memorize 395 00:12:36,788 --> 00:12:38,588 - every word of that song! - Bup, bup, bup. 396 00:12:38,623 --> 00:12:41,257 You promised to do everything I say, right? 397 00:12:41,293 --> 00:12:43,259 Yes. Forgive me, sensei. 398 00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:44,427 So, what's your idea? 399 00:12:44,463 --> 00:12:48,131 The greatest Abbott and Costello routine of all time, 400 00:12:48,166 --> 00:12:50,300 guaranteed to kill. 401 00:12:50,335 --> 00:12:51,868 It's a famous skit 402 00:12:51,903 --> 00:12:54,404 about the players and their funny names. 403 00:12:54,439 --> 00:12:56,372 It's called "Who's On First?" 404 00:12:56,408 --> 00:12:57,207 Who? 405 00:12:57,242 --> 00:12:58,842 Exactly! So you know it? 406 00:12:58,877 --> 00:13:00,176 - What? - Yes! 407 00:13:00,212 --> 00:13:01,411 "What's" on second. 408 00:13:01,446 --> 00:13:03,179 You started this thing! You tell me! 409 00:13:03,215 --> 00:13:04,781 Okay. Let me clear this up. 410 00:13:04,816 --> 00:13:06,683 "Who" is the player. 411 00:13:06,718 --> 00:13:08,218 "Who" is on first. 412 00:13:08,253 --> 00:13:10,053 Why won't you tell me? 413 00:13:10,088 --> 00:13:12,822 You know what, I think you're gonna need some visuals. 414 00:13:12,858 --> 00:13:14,491 Then you'll know "Who's On First." 415 00:13:14,526 --> 00:13:15,692 Who? 416 00:13:17,562 --> 00:13:20,396 Okay, now you can clearly visualize 417 00:13:20,432 --> 00:13:22,198 where each and every player is. 418 00:13:22,234 --> 00:13:23,967 So, who's on first? 419 00:13:24,002 --> 00:13:25,168 Easy. Von Hayes. 420 00:13:25,203 --> 00:13:26,402 No. It's Who. 421 00:13:26,438 --> 00:13:27,771 Who is on first. 422 00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:30,507 I just told you, Von Hayes. 423 00:13:30,542 --> 00:13:33,276 I'm not asking you about the Phillies lineup. 424 00:13:33,311 --> 00:13:35,078 I'm telling you. It's Who! 425 00:13:35,113 --> 00:13:36,012 Von Hayes. 426 00:13:36,047 --> 00:13:37,247 Okay, look at me. 427 00:13:37,282 --> 00:13:41,117 Ask me the name of the player on third base. 428 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:42,786 I don't need to ask you. 429 00:13:42,821 --> 00:13:44,020 It's Mike Schmidt, right? 430 00:13:44,055 --> 00:13:46,656 Wrong. This is "I Don't Know." 431 00:13:46,691 --> 00:13:48,892 How do you not know Mike Schmidt? 432 00:13:48,927 --> 00:13:51,127 He's a Gold Glove winner and a perennial All Star! 433 00:13:51,163 --> 00:13:53,429 Barry! Just listen! 434 00:13:53,465 --> 00:13:55,031 Who is on first! 435 00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:56,733 Who! I'm telling you! 436 00:13:56,768 --> 00:13:58,601 Who is the name! 437 00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,770 And I told you! His name is... 438 00:14:00,806 --> 00:14:02,972 Don't you dare say Von Hayes! 439 00:14:03,008 --> 00:14:04,107 [Muttering] Von Hayes. 440 00:14:04,142 --> 00:14:05,141 [Music played] 441 00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:06,609 Okay. 442 00:14:06,645 --> 00:14:09,078 Now we're literally on a baseball field 443 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:11,581 with your friends holding up the names. 444 00:14:11,616 --> 00:14:13,850 It cannot be any clearer. 445 00:14:13,885 --> 00:14:18,054 So, tell me the name of the player on third. 446 00:14:18,089 --> 00:14:18,955 I Don't Know. 447 00:14:18,990 --> 00:14:21,291 Barry, do you really not know 448 00:14:21,326 --> 00:14:24,027 or do you know it's I Don't Know. 449 00:14:24,062 --> 00:14:25,228 It's I Don't Know. 450 00:14:25,263 --> 00:14:26,529 And What's on Second. 451 00:14:26,565 --> 00:14:28,298 And Who's on first. Yes! 452 00:14:28,333 --> 00:14:30,466 - Yeah, baby! - Only two hours! 453 00:14:30,502 --> 00:14:32,402 - Can we go home now? - One question. 454 00:14:32,437 --> 00:14:33,770 Why is it funny? 455 00:14:33,805 --> 00:14:36,272 No one on Earth would name their son Who! 456 00:14:36,308 --> 00:14:37,440 - He's right. - Kind of lame. 457 00:14:37,475 --> 00:14:38,474 Okay, here's what I'm gonna do. 458 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:40,109 I'm gonna make this actually funny 459 00:14:40,145 --> 00:14:41,077 by changing all the names. 460 00:14:41,112 --> 00:14:42,111 Don't change the names. 461 00:14:42,147 --> 00:14:44,214 First base is Mr. ClownFarts. 462 00:14:44,249 --> 00:14:46,149 Second base is Bob Frapples. 463 00:14:46,184 --> 00:14:48,084 And third base is Giant [bleep]face. 464 00:14:48,119 --> 00:14:50,553 No! Those aren't real names! 465 00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:53,389 They're more real than your first baseman, Mr. Who! 466 00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,124 It makes no sense! 467 00:14:55,160 --> 00:14:57,560 No parent with the last name of [bleep]face 468 00:14:57,596 --> 00:14:59,963 would name their child "Giant"! Ever! 469 00:14:59,998 --> 00:15:01,231 Then what would they name him? 470 00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:03,333 - Josh! - Screw it! 471 00:15:03,368 --> 00:15:04,601 I'm going back to being Barry Joel. 472 00:15:04,636 --> 00:15:06,402 Barry, don't do that show. 473 00:15:06,438 --> 00:15:08,504 I'm just trying to protect you here. 474 00:15:08,540 --> 00:15:10,473 - From what? - From yourself! 475 00:15:10,508 --> 00:15:12,976 You don't know any of the words to that song, 476 00:15:13,011 --> 00:15:15,511 and I can't help you like I did with the karate! 477 00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:16,613 What do you mean, help? 478 00:15:16,648 --> 00:15:19,682 I swapped in a board made of balsa wood! 479 00:15:19,718 --> 00:15:22,218 Balsa wood better be the strongest of all woods. 480 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:24,053 Bro, it breaks like a Kit-Kat bar. 481 00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,422 That better be the strongest of all candy bars. 482 00:15:26,458 --> 00:15:27,624 It's not, dude. 483 00:15:27,659 --> 00:15:31,327 Look, if I didn't actually break that board, 484 00:15:31,363 --> 00:15:34,397 then the best night of my life is nothing but a lie. 485 00:15:34,432 --> 00:15:35,498 That's not true, kiddo. 486 00:15:35,533 --> 00:15:38,001 No. I get it. 487 00:15:38,036 --> 00:15:40,270 Even you can't help me. 488 00:15:40,305 --> 00:15:41,804 I'm unfixable. 489 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:46,264 As everyone waited for dinner, 490 00:15:46,459 --> 00:15:49,146 my mom's plans to win Hanukkah were spinning out of control. 491 00:15:49,388 --> 00:15:51,096 Boom! Squiggly again! 492 00:15:51,428 --> 00:15:53,228 Send the bread to Fred, the Schwartzes win. 493 00:15:53,263 --> 00:15:55,464 Okay, double or nothing. You win, you get Thanksgiving. 494 00:15:55,499 --> 00:15:56,631 - You're on! - Okay. 495 00:15:56,667 --> 00:15:57,799 My turn, I'll spin. 496 00:15:57,835 --> 00:15:59,134 No, no, no. It's my dreidel! 497 00:15:59,169 --> 00:16:01,636 - I'm the spinner! - No, no! Mnh-mnh. 498 00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:03,271 Yes! Squiggly! [Laughs] 499 00:16:03,307 --> 00:16:04,873 The Goldbergs are back on the board. 500 00:16:04,908 --> 00:16:05,874 Look at that! You got one. 501 00:16:05,909 --> 00:16:06,808 Game's over. Happy Hanukkah. 502 00:16:06,844 --> 00:16:08,176 Hey! Hey, wait! Wait! 503 00:16:08,212 --> 00:16:10,312 That's six squiggles in a row. 504 00:16:10,347 --> 00:16:11,146 What? 505 00:16:11,181 --> 00:16:12,881 - Is this a loaded dreidel? - No! 506 00:16:12,916 --> 00:16:16,418 Did you bring a loaded dreidel into my home? 507 00:16:16,453 --> 00:16:17,619 There's no such thing. 508 00:16:17,654 --> 00:16:18,420 Is that right? 509 00:16:18,455 --> 00:16:20,727 [Music played] 510 00:16:25,763 --> 00:16:28,230 [Gasps] You can prove nothing! 511 00:16:28,265 --> 00:16:29,698 Okay, what is all the yelling about? 512 00:16:29,733 --> 00:16:31,133 I thought we were supposed to have dinner. 513 00:16:31,168 --> 00:16:33,101 - Lou, what is going on? - The kids need to pick! 514 00:16:33,137 --> 00:16:34,770 Which one of us is gonna be the fun in-laws 515 00:16:34,805 --> 00:16:36,204 you spend all the holidays with? 516 00:16:36,240 --> 00:16:37,939 What are you talking about? Why is your shoe off? 517 00:16:37,975 --> 00:16:39,441 He was cheating at dreidel! 518 00:16:39,476 --> 00:16:40,976 Okay, everybody stop! 519 00:16:41,011 --> 00:16:43,478 There is no holiday house! We're just dating! 520 00:16:43,514 --> 00:16:45,413 - Pick right now! - Erica, say us. 521 00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:47,149 Say us or I have no daughter. 522 00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:48,116 You have to pick me, Geoffrey, 523 00:16:48,152 --> 00:16:49,384 or you're out of my will forever! 524 00:16:49,419 --> 00:16:50,886 You know, the whole point of this holiday 525 00:16:50,921 --> 00:16:52,888 was for our families to get to know each other. 526 00:16:52,923 --> 00:16:55,157 Yeah. Thanks for ruining it. 527 00:16:55,192 --> 00:17:00,428 [Music played] 528 00:17:00,464 --> 00:17:02,898 ["Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" plays] 529 00:17:04,301 --> 00:17:06,401 My mom may have lost her precious holiday, 530 00:17:06,436 --> 00:17:08,837 but I had found my new act for the talent show. 531 00:17:08,872 --> 00:17:11,540 Okay. What am I looking at here? 532 00:17:11,575 --> 00:17:13,108 Not that it's any of your business, 533 00:17:13,143 --> 00:17:16,011 but I'm working on a new super-sexy act 534 00:17:16,046 --> 00:17:16,945 for the talent show. 535 00:17:16,980 --> 00:17:18,647 Put the scarves away, kiddo. 536 00:17:18,682 --> 00:17:20,916 You can do the Billy Joel song. 537 00:17:20,951 --> 00:17:22,350 What? Barry gave up? 538 00:17:22,386 --> 00:17:23,652 Mmm, just on me. 539 00:17:23,687 --> 00:17:25,220 He finally came to me for help, 540 00:17:25,255 --> 00:17:26,688 and I let him down. 541 00:17:26,723 --> 00:17:27,756 No, don't do that! 542 00:17:27,791 --> 00:17:28,990 Don't make me feel sad for him. 543 00:17:29,026 --> 00:17:31,693 The guy stole my song and my Jedi grandpa. 544 00:17:31,728 --> 00:17:34,029 Kiddo, I've helped you your whole life, 545 00:17:34,064 --> 00:17:37,098 and now... I need your help. 546 00:17:37,134 --> 00:17:40,101 [Music played] 547 00:17:40,137 --> 00:17:41,736 Hey, can we talk about the talent show? 548 00:17:41,772 --> 00:17:43,338 Look, if Pops sent you in here, 549 00:17:43,373 --> 00:17:45,574 tell him I'm not doing his stupid comedy routine. 550 00:17:45,609 --> 00:17:47,142 Forget about "Who's On First." 551 00:17:47,177 --> 00:17:48,944 I'm here to tell you to do the song. 552 00:17:48,979 --> 00:17:50,645 Please. We both know I suck at it. 553 00:17:50,681 --> 00:17:53,448 That's why we're gonna combine your rap skills and showmanship 554 00:17:53,483 --> 00:17:57,052 with my greatest talent... Audio-visual wizardry. 555 00:17:57,087 --> 00:18:00,388 And so, united by our sensei granddad, 556 00:18:00,424 --> 00:18:02,891 me and Barry decided he wouldn't just rap. 557 00:18:02,926 --> 00:18:04,526 He wouldn't just sing. 558 00:18:04,561 --> 00:18:06,361 He'd rap-sing the most important song 559 00:18:06,396 --> 00:18:08,196 in our school's history. 560 00:18:08,232 --> 00:18:09,831 [Tune the tune of "We Didn't Startthe Fire"] ? Barry Goldberg, JTP ? 561 00:18:09,867 --> 00:18:11,533 ? William Penn Academy ? 562 00:18:11,568 --> 00:18:13,235 ? Fighting Quakers, North Philly ? 563 00:18:13,270 --> 00:18:14,803 ? Principal Ball ? 564 00:18:14,838 --> 00:18:16,638 ? Coach Mellor is good at sports ? 565 00:18:16,673 --> 00:18:18,440 ? And he wears those tiny shorts ? 566 00:18:18,475 --> 00:18:21,743 ? Cecil the janitor is mopping up the hall ? 567 00:18:21,778 --> 00:18:22,944 It's true! 568 00:18:22,980 --> 00:18:24,846 He mopped up something I spilled this morning! 569 00:18:24,882 --> 00:18:26,481 ? Mr. Glascott is a nerd ? 570 00:18:26,516 --> 00:18:28,183 ? Feather Locklear is his bird ? 571 00:18:28,218 --> 00:18:30,018 ? Miss Tabs habla espanol ? 572 00:18:30,053 --> 00:18:31,720 ? Lunch lady is really old ? 573 00:18:31,755 --> 00:18:33,421 ? Mr. Woodburn is so mean ? 574 00:18:33,457 --> 00:18:35,223 ? Cinoman's the drama queen ? 575 00:18:35,259 --> 00:18:36,892 ? Then there's Doc throwin' chalk ? 576 00:18:36,927 --> 00:18:38,693 [Audience cheering] ? That guy is out of control ? 577 00:18:38,729 --> 00:18:40,395 ? Burnouts, nerds, and jocks ? 578 00:18:40,430 --> 00:18:42,030 ? Jamie Weisman's really hot ? 579 00:18:42,065 --> 00:18:43,732 ? Taz Money, Dave Kim ? 580 00:18:43,767 --> 00:18:45,500 ? Chad Kremp -- what's up with him? ? 581 00:18:45,535 --> 00:18:47,235 ? Jackie and my brother Ad ? 582 00:18:47,271 --> 00:18:48,970 ? My sensei is my granddad ? 583 00:18:49,006 --> 00:18:50,672 ? Watch me flip this on the floor ? 584 00:18:50,707 --> 00:18:52,641 ? I can't take it anymore ? 585 00:18:52,676 --> 00:18:53,775 [Cheers and applause] 586 00:18:53,810 --> 00:18:56,244 [Music played] 587 00:18:56,280 --> 00:18:57,212 Yeah! 588 00:18:57,247 --> 00:18:59,614 [Cheers and applause continue] 589 00:18:59,650 --> 00:19:01,283 Whooo! 590 00:19:01,318 --> 00:19:02,484 Mr. Glascott! Come quick! 591 00:19:02,519 --> 00:19:03,551 It's super-important! 592 00:19:03,587 --> 00:19:05,453 No, it's not. None of this matters. 593 00:19:05,489 --> 00:19:06,922 But Barry started a fire! 594 00:19:06,957 --> 00:19:09,190 Dang it! It does matter! 595 00:19:09,226 --> 00:19:10,659 It matters real bad! 596 00:19:10,694 --> 00:19:14,529 ? We didn't start the fire ? 597 00:19:14,564 --> 00:19:16,131 Oh. Hello. 598 00:19:16,166 --> 00:19:18,533 ? Always burning since the world's been turning ? 599 00:19:18,568 --> 00:19:21,169 Hi. My wife made you a kugel. 600 00:19:21,204 --> 00:19:24,205 Mmm. Smells delicious. 601 00:19:24,241 --> 00:19:26,741 You both really know your way around a Hanukkah dish. 602 00:19:26,777 --> 00:19:29,511 Right back at you. You were right. 603 00:19:29,546 --> 00:19:32,280 Never take on Beverly Goldberg in Hanukkah war. 604 00:19:32,316 --> 00:19:34,516 What do you say we stop worrying about the future 605 00:19:34,551 --> 00:19:37,686 and just enjoy the great kids we have right now? 606 00:19:37,721 --> 00:19:38,954 I'd love that. [Chuckles] 607 00:19:38,989 --> 00:19:41,489 ? We didn't start the fire ? 608 00:19:41,525 --> 00:19:42,624 Wha... 609 00:19:42,659 --> 00:19:43,925 You'll get used to it. 610 00:19:43,961 --> 00:19:45,493 We're family now. 611 00:19:45,529 --> 00:19:48,496 That night, my mom started a new holiday tradition, 612 00:19:48,532 --> 00:19:50,532 and Barry didn't just start a fire. 613 00:19:50,567 --> 00:19:52,434 He started his comeback. 614 00:19:52,469 --> 00:19:57,539 ? And on and on and on and on and on ? 615 00:19:57,574 --> 00:20:00,275 ? We didn't start the fire ? 616 00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:01,776 ? It was always burning... ? 617 00:20:01,812 --> 00:20:03,178 And as for my mom, 618 00:20:03,213 --> 00:20:05,513 she realized the best way to spend the holidays 619 00:20:05,549 --> 00:20:06,781 was together. 620 00:20:06,817 --> 00:20:07,882 What's all this? 621 00:20:07,918 --> 00:20:09,884 We decided to share the holiday. 622 00:20:09,920 --> 00:20:11,386 There's enough nights to go around. 623 00:20:11,421 --> 00:20:12,620 [Chuckles] 624 00:20:12,656 --> 00:20:14,322 In the end, the holidays aren't about 625 00:20:14,358 --> 00:20:16,157 the number of nights you have to celebrate. 626 00:20:16,193 --> 00:20:18,360 All that matters is you're together, 627 00:20:18,395 --> 00:20:20,962 laughing, eating, and making memories. 628 00:20:20,998 --> 00:20:23,565 [All cheer, laughter] 629 00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,901 _ 630 00:20:26,937 --> 00:20:28,236 [Ding!] 631 00:20:28,271 --> 00:20:30,572 [Music played] 632 00:20:40,231 --> 00:20:42,483 Mom! Stop watching me sleep! 633 00:20:42,518 --> 00:20:44,251 Can I just get one head sniff? 634 00:20:44,286 --> 00:20:46,086 Mom, just say "Night, night." 635 00:20:46,122 --> 00:20:47,621 Night, night. 636 00:20:50,226 --> 00:20:52,426 I know you're still there! I see the sweater! 637 00:20:52,461 --> 00:20:54,595 Fine! I'll go for real! 638 00:20:54,630 --> 00:20:56,697 [Door closes] 639 00:20:56,732 --> 00:20:58,532 ["Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel" plays] 640 00:20:58,567 --> 00:21:00,401 This is my worst nightmare! 641 00:21:00,402 --> 00:21:03,954 Synced and Corrected by YesCool www.addic7ed.com 642 00:21:04,004 --> 00:21:08,554 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 46515

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