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So there i was,
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Stark naked, freezing my tail off,
3
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Spying on ben.
4
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Was he plucking his magic twanger?
5
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No. He had a needle,
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And he was giving himself a shot in the ass.
7
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The nutty professor, a juice pig?
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I am so turned on. Here, feel.
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Cut it out.
10
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I've seen him do it twice.
11
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I think he's doing steroids.
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For the life of me, i'll never understand why so many gay men
13
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Want to fuck their bodies up with drugs.
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He's always at the gym,
15
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He has these nasty moods...
16
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"'roid rage."
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Well, consider it a small price to pay
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For an amazing body.
19
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You're a big fucking help.
20
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Hi, guys!
21
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So how are the two love birds?
22
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Uh, freezing our tits off. Yeah, well,
23
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At least i won't have to pinch my nips to get them all taut.
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Allow me.
25
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Ow!
26
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Can you believe the line to get into this fucking dump?
27
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Yeah, it's on account of those guys who o.D.'D.
28
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Great. So because some ignorant amateurs didn't know what they were doing,
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The rest of us should get punished.
30
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Yeah, you can thank your friend, the chief.
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Let's go inside before my dick gets frostbite.
32
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You have a guest pass?
33
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Uh, only one guest.
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Asshole.
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Freezing my nipples off...
36
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all right, honey, you can go.
37
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See some i.D.?
38
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Hmm. -Any drugs?
39
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Work the pockets, honey. Work the pockets.
40
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Whoo-Oo-Oo!
41
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You want me to wash your back?
42
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Hmm... any excuse to keep your hands on me.
43
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You know, cleanliness is next to horniness.
44
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Mmm. You know, when you're finished,
45
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I know a really cool game we can play.
46
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It's called "hide the soap bar."
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Oh-H.
48
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Hello?
49
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Yeah?
50
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Oh hey, how you doing?
51
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No fucking way. That's fantastic!
52
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What?
53
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Prepared? Are you kidding?
54
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I've been preparing my whole life!
55
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Yeah. Okay.
56
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Thanks, man.
57
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That was glen.
58
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Yosef treblek had a triple bypass.
59
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Who's yosef treblek?
60
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This, uh, this hungarian violinist.
61
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Oh god, that's terrible.
62
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No, no, no, it's the greatest news ever.
63
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He was supposed to play the harrisburg symphony,
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But obviously he can't now.
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So glen suggested me,
66
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The silver medalist for the heifetz competition,
67
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As the last minute replacement,
68
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And they said yes! They said yes!
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My god, it's your first concert.
70
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It's not philadelphia or boston, but...
71
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It doesn't matter. It's a start.
72
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Oh, god.
73
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I wish you could be there with me.
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I wish i could too.
75
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But your agent would flip out if i was there.
76
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Yeah. I know.
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Hey, i was, uh...
78
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i was going to give you this when the phone rang.
79
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I bought two of them.
80
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They weren't very expensive, but...
81
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the guy at the store swore to me that they were one of a kind.
82
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And...
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i thought it would be a way for us to be together,
84
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Even when we're apart.
85
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Citizen, war hero,
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Cop, chief of police.
87
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Jim stockwell: you can sleep at night knowing he's the mayor.
88
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Paid for by the committee to elect jim stockwell.
89
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Well?
90
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What do you think?
91
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,077
If i want to sleep at night, i could take a xanax.
92
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Or i could watch your ad.
93
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What...
94
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my partner means...
95
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what i mean is,
96
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It's fucking boring.
97
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That spot was made by one of the best agencies in the state.
98
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96% of the test group we showed it to reacted favourably.
99
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Who were they, insomniacs?
100
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Our loyal supporters.
101
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Well, you've already got their vote.
102
00:05:22,414 --> 00:05:24,080
But what about the voters who are undecided,
103
00:05:24,080 --> 00:05:26,047
Or the ones who wouldn't cast a ballot
104
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For a law and order candidate?
105
00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:31,081
You have to pull them into your camp if you want to win.
106
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And there is no way in hell
107
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You're going to do it with that.
108
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I suppose you have a better plan?
109
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Do you work out?
110
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Four times a week. Religiously.
111
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Any sports? Golf.
112
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Swimming. Basketball.
113
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Hobbies?
114
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Build model airplanes.
115
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No shit.
116
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I did that when i was a kid.
117
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You too? Sure, who didn't?
118
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But what's the, um... what's the point?
119
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The point is, i can relate to it. Everyone can.
120
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But who the hell's going to relate to some stiff in a uniform?
121
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Brian, take it easy... it's all right.
122
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I don't mind the truth.
123
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Even if you use it like an assault weapon.
124
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So...
125
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what do you suggest? Change your image.
126
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Stop selling yourself as a hero
127
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And start selling yourself as a man.
128
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That's it? An ordinary man,
129
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With the same cares and concerns as everyone else.
130
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The only difference is, you're in a position
131
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To actually do something about it. Look,
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I know i came to you for some fresh ideas.
133
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However, it's a radical change from the campaign we've been running.
134
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Too radical.
135
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Well, it's your call.
136
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But with the way things are going,
137
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I'd say you have nothing to lose...
138
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except the election.
139
00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,925
See now, this, um, shade of apricot for the walls
140
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Is calling out for a plum carpet;
141
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Which practically screams for the raspberry couch
142
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With the peach cushions.
143
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Yeah, i knew i should've gotten the fruit cobbler.
144
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Isn't it a bit extreme?
145
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For emmett, i'd say it's a bit subdued.
146
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Excuse me?
147
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You're moving into a different kind of neighbourhood.
148
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It's not the gay ghetto. It's...
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a bedroom community.
150
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There's a difference?
151
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Yes, it's more traditional,
152
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More reserved.
153
00:07:10,928 --> 00:07:12,663
So, maybe you want to change your style,
154
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Lose the streisand posters.
155
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"The main event" was going in the entry.
156
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The slave boy lamps?
157
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It's going on the bar, right?
158
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You just want to think about fitting in,
159
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Rather than standing out.
160
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Think our house.
161
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Your house?
162
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Am i to believe i'm actually getting decorator tips
163
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From lesbians?
164
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Look, this is emmett's project, right?
165
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He's got carte blanche to do whatever he wants with the house.
166
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Streisand, plums,
167
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Kumquats... if that's what he wants, then that's what it'll be.
168
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Good luck.
169
00:07:44,234 --> 00:07:45,800
By the way, you didn't hear it from me,
170
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And i didn't hear it from my cop boyfriend;
171
00:07:47,567 --> 00:07:49,866
But there's a certain police chief who wants to be mayor
172
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Who's trying to get some attention for himself
173
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By going after businesses that pander to... shall we say...
174
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prurient interests?
175
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,402
I was gonna say web-Whackers.
176
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Well, don't worry about me, deb.
177
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I run a clean operation.
178
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Teddy is immaculate.
179
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He even rinses out his underwear
180
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Before he puts them in the laundry.
181
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Honey, if they want to,
182
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They can always find something.
183
00:08:15,371 --> 00:08:17,171
Well, thanks for the headsup, deb.
184
00:08:17,171 --> 00:08:18,137
Well, don't thank me...
185
00:08:19,505 --> 00:08:21,706
thank benedict arnold kinney.
186
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He's the one working for the enemy.
187
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Nice to see you too.
188
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I'll have a split pea soup to go.
189
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Justin, a split pea.
190
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And feel free to piss in it.
191
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You should really learn to separate your personal feelings from business, deb.
192
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It's three bucks.
193
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Where'd you get the ring?
194
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Ethan
195
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How romantic.
196
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Fuck all you'd know about romance.
197
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Keep it. That's a big tip.
198
00:08:57,444 --> 00:08:58,977
Maybe you could buy him some flowers.
199
00:09:00,077 --> 00:09:01,077
I'm sure he'd like that.
200
00:09:12,745 --> 00:09:15,045
Are you having an internet affair, michael? Hmm?
201
00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:17,913
You've been on that a long time.
202
00:09:19,714 --> 00:09:21,146
I'm doing some research. Ah!
203
00:09:22,879 --> 00:09:23,813
Work?
204
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For you.
205
00:09:30,048 --> 00:09:30,982
Me?
206
00:09:40,083 --> 00:09:41,016
Steroids?
207
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,617
I saw you.
208
00:09:47,083 --> 00:09:48,150
Saw me what?
209
00:09:48,150 --> 00:09:50,151
Shooting up.
210
00:09:50,151 --> 00:09:51,985
So unless you've suddenly become a heroin addict,
211
00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:53,385
I figure that's what it is.
212
00:09:55,352 --> 00:09:56,552
Michael, are you spying on me?
213
00:09:56,552 --> 00:09:58,052
Spying on you?
214
00:09:58,052 --> 00:10:00,586
We live together. How can i not notice?
215
00:10:00,586 --> 00:10:03,785
Well, a lot of guys are using them, okay?
216
00:10:03,785 --> 00:10:05,119
To fight body wasting.
217
00:10:06,686 --> 00:10:07,686
You're not wasting.
218
00:10:07,686 --> 00:10:09,187
Yet.
219
00:10:09,187 --> 00:10:10,487
Did your doctor prescribe them?
220
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,054
No. Well, then where did you get them?
221
00:10:16,021 --> 00:10:16,988
What is this, an interrogation?
222
00:10:16,988 --> 00:10:18,622
I'm concerned, that's all.
223
00:10:18,622 --> 00:10:20,356
It says there're a lot of side effects.
224
00:10:20,356 --> 00:10:22,589
Mood swings, diarrhea, liver damage...
225
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,522
yeah, i'm aware of the potential side effects, michael.
226
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I have done my research too.
227
00:10:25,989 --> 00:10:27,522
Well then, we should've at least talked it over.
228
00:10:35,291 --> 00:10:36,224
Look.
229
00:10:39,791 --> 00:10:42,025
I'm just trying a cycle, okay?
230
00:10:42,025 --> 00:10:43,726
To see if it makes any difference.
231
00:10:45,225 --> 00:10:46,292
And so far the advantages
232
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Are beating the disadvantages.
233
00:10:49,225 --> 00:10:50,627
Huh?
234
00:10:54,326 --> 00:10:56,628
Hmm? Yeah? Huh?
235
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,594
Uh... uh...
236
00:10:59,893 --> 00:11:02,262
huh? Huh?
237
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:03,362
It's not too bad, huh?
238
00:11:04,828 --> 00:11:05,761
It's fine.
239
00:11:07,161 --> 00:11:08,495
How about that?
240
00:11:10,894 --> 00:11:11,929
Nice.
241
00:11:13,529 --> 00:11:15,229
Aw, don't tell me it works on that too.
242
00:11:18,830 --> 00:11:19,830
Hmm.
243
00:11:24,797 --> 00:11:26,031
Get on him, get on him, get on him.
244
00:11:28,431 --> 00:11:30,164
Good shot. Okay, take it out.
245
00:11:37,532 --> 00:11:39,232
You're guarding him. Move a little bit, right there.
246
00:11:51,834 --> 00:11:53,669
I'm jim stockwell,
247
00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:56,801
Police chief and coach of my son's basketball team.
248
00:11:56,801 --> 00:11:59,435
There was a time when you could send your kids to the park.
249
00:11:59,435 --> 00:12:03,671
Before sex and drugs were available on every street corner.
250
00:12:03,671 --> 00:12:06,404
As a crime fighter and a parent,
251
00:12:06,404 --> 00:12:08,037
I'd like to see those times again.
252
00:12:08,037 --> 00:12:10,304
I know you would too.
253
00:12:10,304 --> 00:12:13,137
Vote for me for mayor,
254
00:12:13,137 --> 00:12:16,338
And let's make pittsburgh familyfriendly once more.
255
00:12:17,538 --> 00:12:18,739
And cut.
256
00:12:18,739 --> 00:12:19,804
Keep rolling, keep rolling.
257
00:12:19,804 --> 00:12:20,739
Keep rolling.
258
00:12:25,640 --> 00:12:26,674
How was that?
259
00:12:26,674 --> 00:12:28,207
It was great.
260
00:12:28,207 --> 00:12:30,474
Did you get that? Yep, i got it.
261
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Thanks.
262
00:12:34,874 --> 00:12:36,575
How was that?
263
00:12:36,575 --> 00:12:38,807
If i didn't know better, i'd swear you were tom cruise.
264
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Everyone have valid i.D.S?
265
00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:51,577
Yes, sir!
266
00:12:53,477 --> 00:12:55,444
Mm-Hm.
267
00:12:55,444 --> 00:12:57,777
Any convicted felons?
268
00:12:57,777 --> 00:12:59,411
No, sir!
269
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:00,544
Mm-Hm.
270
00:13:02,444 --> 00:13:04,977
Any illegal drugs on the premises?
271
00:13:06,512 --> 00:13:07,579
No, sir!
272
00:13:12,246 --> 00:13:13,213
Excellent.
273
00:13:15,912 --> 00:13:17,614
All right... back to work.
274
00:13:17,614 --> 00:13:18,547
Yes, sir!
275
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,314
Oh, and, uh... keep it clean.
276
00:13:20,314 --> 00:13:21,581
Yes, sir!
277
00:13:21,581 --> 00:13:23,748
I-I mean... yeah, keep it dirty but...
278
00:13:23,748 --> 00:13:25,047
yes, sir!
279
00:13:28,881 --> 00:13:30,448
Fire alarms,
280
00:13:30,448 --> 00:13:32,814
Sprinkler systems,
281
00:13:32,814 --> 00:13:35,283
Handicapped ramp, toilets.
282
00:13:35,283 --> 00:13:36,915
All up to code, mr. Schmidt.
283
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:40,550
Any rodents or pests on the premises?
284
00:13:40,550 --> 00:13:42,651
Only the human kind, mr. Schmidt.
285
00:13:42,651 --> 00:13:46,550
All rules and regulations the correct size and clearly posted?
286
00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:47,618
Measured to the inch.
287
00:13:47,618 --> 00:13:50,652
Just like your jerkers, mr. Schmidt.
288
00:13:50,652 --> 00:13:52,685
Well then, eddie...
289
00:13:52,685 --> 00:13:55,151
i'd say we have nothing to worry about.
290
00:13:55,151 --> 00:13:58,186
Every detail has been checked and re-Checked.
291
00:13:59,420 --> 00:14:01,720
Let 'em come and inspect.
292
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:04,253
We, at teddy's whack-Shack, are ready for them.
293
00:14:12,421 --> 00:14:16,488
So how do you feel about your first concert appearance?
294
00:14:16,488 --> 00:14:19,156
Scared, confident, excited?
295
00:14:20,623 --> 00:14:23,356
Definitely all of the above.
296
00:14:23,356 --> 00:14:25,323
Y-Y-You know, it's quite a remarkable achievement
297
00:14:25,323 --> 00:14:27,757
For someone so young, and obviously so gifted...
298
00:14:29,189 --> 00:14:30,591
to have such sudden success.
299
00:14:33,691 --> 00:14:36,591
I understand that until recently,
300
00:14:36,591 --> 00:14:38,890
You were performing on street corners?
301
00:14:38,890 --> 00:14:40,458
Well, you gotta pay the rent.
302
00:14:43,426 --> 00:14:44,359
What's up?
303
00:14:46,426 --> 00:14:49,493
Hey, this is justin, my cousin, and his girlfriend, daphne.
304
00:14:49,493 --> 00:14:51,926
They like to use the apartment sometimes when i'm not here.
305
00:14:51,926 --> 00:14:53,826
Hey, guys, this is alexa scott,
306
00:14:53,826 --> 00:14:56,394
She's, uh... interviewing me for the paper.
307
00:14:58,193 --> 00:14:59,727
Right.
308
00:14:59,727 --> 00:15:00,762
So...
309
00:15:00,762 --> 00:15:03,161
why don't you guys come back another time?
310
00:15:03,161 --> 00:15:06,396
Sure. I'll see you later.
311
00:15:06,396 --> 00:15:07,362
Come on, daph.
312
00:15:13,263 --> 00:15:14,463
Sorry about the interruption.
313
00:15:14,463 --> 00:15:15,863
Ah...
314
00:15:15,863 --> 00:15:17,196
just a couple more questions.
315
00:15:19,163 --> 00:15:20,397
Do you have a girlfriend?
316
00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,131
I'd prefer not to talk about that.
317
00:15:25,598 --> 00:15:27,898
Oh... that usually means yes.
318
00:15:30,432 --> 00:15:31,766
"Girlfriend"?
319
00:15:31,766 --> 00:15:33,300
What the fuck was that?
320
00:15:33,300 --> 00:15:35,999
His agent doesn't want anyone to know he's gay.
321
00:15:35,999 --> 00:15:37,400
He thinks it could hurt his career.
322
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:40,133
Who gives a shit who a violinist is fucking?
323
00:15:40,133 --> 00:15:41,066
Don't ask me.
324
00:15:42,199 --> 00:15:43,267
I agreed to go along with it.
325
00:15:46,501 --> 00:15:48,602
You know, brian... might not have been
326
00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:50,101
Everything you wanted in a boyfriend,
327
00:15:50,101 --> 00:15:52,969
But at least he never asked you to lie.
328
00:15:52,969 --> 00:15:55,269
He didn't have his entire future career at stake.
329
00:15:55,269 --> 00:15:57,102
So you're going to be his "cousin"?
330
00:15:57,102 --> 00:15:58,770
Like anyone's dumb enough to believe that.
331
00:15:58,770 --> 00:16:00,303
No one's going to know.
332
00:16:00,303 --> 00:16:02,102
Justin, you almost died coming out.
333
00:16:02,102 --> 00:16:03,504
How could you go back in for anyone?
334
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:04,903
I don't want to talk about it.
335
00:16:04,903 --> 00:16:06,570
But it's fucking unfair of him
336
00:16:06,570 --> 00:16:07,903
To make you pretend you're something that you're not.
337
00:16:07,903 --> 00:16:09,470
I said i didn't want to talk about it.
338
00:16:09,470 --> 00:16:11,071
So would you mind your own fucking business?
339
00:16:20,905 --> 00:16:22,072
Can you believe those dykes
340
00:16:22,072 --> 00:16:24,473
Telling us how we should decorate our house?
341
00:16:24,473 --> 00:16:27,340
Don't they realize laura ashley went out with rotary phones?
342
00:16:27,340 --> 00:16:30,006
Now, now. Show a little compassion.
343
00:16:30,006 --> 00:16:33,040
I mean, they can't help it if... ah, they're designchallenged.
344
00:16:34,408 --> 00:16:35,742
It would look stunning here.
345
00:16:36,841 --> 00:16:38,342
What would?
346
00:16:38,342 --> 00:16:41,908
A chair and ottoman upholstered in dyed blueberry ostrich-Skin.
347
00:16:41,908 --> 00:16:43,841
What do you think?
348
00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:46,009
Brings out your eyes. Mmm.
349
00:16:46,009 --> 00:16:48,076
But it's... it's too expensive.
350
00:16:48,076 --> 00:16:49,743
Who cares about cost?
351
00:16:49,743 --> 00:16:51,777
This isn't an investment, it's a home.
352
00:16:52,976 --> 00:16:55,679
It's our home. Hmm...
353
00:16:55,679 --> 00:16:58,578
this must be a fairy tale 'cause i married a prince.
354
00:17:00,578 --> 00:17:03,679
Oo-Whoops! Sorry, guys.
355
00:17:03,679 --> 00:17:04,712
I'm just here to report,
356
00:17:04,712 --> 00:17:06,746
The house inspector's doing just fine.
357
00:17:06,746 --> 00:17:08,212
No major problems so far.
358
00:17:08,212 --> 00:17:09,413
Knock wood.
359
00:17:10,513 --> 00:17:11,479
Well...
360
00:17:14,945 --> 00:17:17,913
hi, i'm sunny! Sunny reed.
361
00:17:17,913 --> 00:17:19,114
Actually, it's susanna.
362
00:17:19,114 --> 00:17:21,448
But ever since i was a baby, they called me sunny,
363
00:17:21,448 --> 00:17:24,515
I guess just because i always have the sunniest smile on my face.
364
00:17:24,515 --> 00:17:27,649
Oh... i... i'm jennifer.
365
00:17:27,649 --> 00:17:29,848
Ever since i was a baby, they've called me jennifer.
366
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,449
Well, welcome to the neighbourhood.
367
00:17:31,449 --> 00:17:33,182
I just know you're going to love it here.
368
00:17:33,182 --> 00:17:35,382
Oh, thanks. I'm just the realtor,
369
00:17:35,382 --> 00:17:36,549
I'm not the new owner.
370
00:17:36,549 --> 00:17:38,583
That'd be me. Ted schmidt.
371
00:17:38,583 --> 00:17:39,849
Hi, ted!
372
00:17:39,849 --> 00:17:41,318
Sunny! Sunny reed.
373
00:17:41,318 --> 00:17:43,518
My husband and i just live next door.
374
00:17:43,518 --> 00:17:45,518
Welcome to the neighbourhood.
375
00:17:45,518 --> 00:17:46,850
I brought you a caramel cake.
376
00:17:46,850 --> 00:17:48,419
I'm famous for my caramel cake.
377
00:17:48,419 --> 00:17:49,885
But don't worry, ted.
378
00:17:49,885 --> 00:17:51,719
I'll share the recipe with mrs. Schmidt.
379
00:17:51,719 --> 00:17:52,851
Where is mrs. Schmidt?
380
00:17:55,018 --> 00:17:56,052
That'd be me.
381
00:17:57,319 --> 00:17:58,620
Then you're...
382
00:17:58,620 --> 00:17:59,586
that'd be us.
383
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:03,654
Well, isn't that interesting?
384
00:18:03,654 --> 00:18:06,087
Well, i just know you're going to love it here. Everybody does.
385
00:18:06,087 --> 00:18:08,454
We just have the best schools and churches,
386
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:11,655
And everybody babysits and looks out for each other's kids.
387
00:18:13,821 --> 00:18:15,622
Well, that sounds like a very friendly group of people,
388
00:18:15,622 --> 00:18:16,555
Doesn't it, guys?
389
00:18:17,655 --> 00:18:18,954
Very.
390
00:18:18,954 --> 00:18:20,556
Friendly. -In fact,
391
00:18:20,556 --> 00:18:22,756
It's a tradition that we host a cocktail party
392
00:18:22,756 --> 00:18:23,889
For our new arrivals.
393
00:18:23,889 --> 00:18:25,791
Nothing formal, just a little...
394
00:18:25,791 --> 00:18:28,057
"hi, welcome to the neighbourhood" kind of thing.
395
00:18:28,057 --> 00:18:31,525
So, how's friday at around 6:00, just right next door?
396
00:18:33,692 --> 00:18:35,391
Well, thank you... sunny.
397
00:18:35,391 --> 00:18:37,124
Such a lovely house.
398
00:18:38,525 --> 00:18:41,693
The harrises, they just had the most exquisite taste.
399
00:18:41,693 --> 00:18:46,292
Early american furniture and oriental rugs...
400
00:18:46,292 --> 00:18:48,560
well, i should go.
401
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:49,560
Oh, your cake! Oh.
402
00:18:51,194 --> 00:18:53,728
Oh... see you friday.
403
00:18:53,728 --> 00:18:55,094
See you friday. Bye-Bye, sunny.
404
00:18:55,094 --> 00:18:56,394
Bye. Toodles.
405
00:18:58,628 --> 00:19:00,061
There you go, mrs. Schmidt.
406
00:19:01,762 --> 00:19:03,562
Jen said that ted and emmett's new house
407
00:19:03,562 --> 00:19:05,128
Has tonnes of curb appeal.
408
00:19:05,128 --> 00:19:06,128
Like you.
409
00:19:07,495 --> 00:19:08,961
Although why those two would want to live
410
00:19:08,961 --> 00:19:11,163
Around a bunch of breeders is beyond me.
411
00:19:11,163 --> 00:19:13,764
A lot of us are moving on up these days.
412
00:19:13,764 --> 00:19:16,431
I'll take liberty avenue.
413
00:19:16,431 --> 00:19:18,963
Oh... oh, shit!
414
00:19:18,963 --> 00:19:20,197
What?
415
00:19:20,197 --> 00:19:22,831
My good ring just fell behind the fridge.
416
00:19:22,831 --> 00:19:24,198
Your good ring?
417
00:19:24,198 --> 00:19:26,732
Yeah, the one i got on the tv show.
418
00:19:26,732 --> 00:19:28,799
From the joan rivers collection?
419
00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:30,632
And don't say a fucking thing against her.
420
00:19:30,632 --> 00:19:32,832
I like that she's got a big, dirty mouth
421
00:19:32,832 --> 00:19:34,033
That gets her in trouble.
422
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,067
I wonder why.
423
00:19:35,067 --> 00:19:36,100
Someone give me a hand.
424
00:19:36,100 --> 00:19:37,634
What... ma. W-Wait...
425
00:19:37,634 --> 00:19:38,933
someone give me a hand here.
426
00:19:38,933 --> 00:19:40,267
Debbie, debbie. Debbie, debbie, debbie.
427
00:19:40,267 --> 00:19:41,634
Oh. Let me do that, all right?
428
00:19:41,634 --> 00:19:42,934
You're gonna hurt yourself.
429
00:19:50,668 --> 00:19:51,802
All right.
430
00:19:51,802 --> 00:19:52,834
Can you see it?
431
00:19:52,834 --> 00:19:55,235
U-U-Ummm...
432
00:19:55,235 --> 00:19:56,670
this? Yes!
433
00:19:57,670 --> 00:19:59,403
Oh, my hero.
434
00:20:00,670 --> 00:20:03,471
Oh. Now that's what i call a real man.
435
00:20:03,471 --> 00:20:05,004
We could've done the same.
436
00:20:05,004 --> 00:20:06,438
Yeah, with a forklift.
437
00:20:07,538 --> 00:20:08,870
Oh yeah.
438
00:20:08,870 --> 00:20:10,137
Thank you. Okay.
439
00:20:13,738 --> 00:20:16,005
Okay. Well, i better go wash my hands.
440
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:21,506
Has ben actually gotten bigger since the last time i saw him?
441
00:20:21,506 --> 00:20:23,073
Yeah, well he's been working out a lot lately.
442
00:20:23,073 --> 00:20:25,074
And it shows.
443
00:20:25,074 --> 00:20:26,607
Hmm. What's his secret?
444
00:20:26,607 --> 00:20:29,940
You know, protein shakes, low carb diet, stuff like that.
445
00:20:29,940 --> 00:20:31,940
Does "stuff like that" include steroids?
446
00:20:36,308 --> 00:20:37,342
Is that what he's doing?
447
00:20:40,975 --> 00:20:42,076
He says it prevents wasting.
448
00:20:42,076 --> 00:20:44,209
Wasting? He's built like a brick shithouse.
449
00:20:44,209 --> 00:20:46,010
The stuff is poison.
450
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,876
For one thing, it makes you meaner than cat piss.
451
00:20:47,876 --> 00:20:49,377
And for another... for another,
452
00:20:49,377 --> 00:20:50,444
It's none of your concern.
453
00:20:52,243 --> 00:20:54,644
If that's what ben needs to do to stay alive and healthy,
454
00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,211
Then... that's all that matters.
455
00:20:57,311 --> 00:20:59,445
Can't argue that...
456
00:20:59,445 --> 00:21:00,712
if that's the only reason.
457
00:21:06,380 --> 00:21:08,313
I'm jim stockwell,
458
00:21:08,313 --> 00:21:12,313
Police chief and coach of my son's basketball team.
459
00:21:12,313 --> 00:21:15,246
There was a time when you could send your kids to the park,
460
00:21:15,246 --> 00:21:18,581
Before sex and drugs were available on every corner.
461
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:21,314
As a crime fighter and a parent,
462
00:21:21,314 --> 00:21:23,181
I'd like to see those times again.
463
00:21:23,181 --> 00:21:24,614
I know you would too.
464
00:21:24,614 --> 00:21:27,383
Vote for me for mayor,
465
00:21:27,383 --> 00:21:30,783
And let's make pittsburgh familyfriendly once more.
466
00:21:52,586 --> 00:21:53,985
You gotta be kidding.
467
00:21:53,985 --> 00:21:55,686
It's a music video,
468
00:21:55,686 --> 00:21:57,519
Not a campaign advertisement.
469
00:21:57,519 --> 00:21:58,920
There's no way we're going to run that.
470
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:00,554
It's practically obscene,
471
00:22:00,554 --> 00:22:02,520
Revealing his body like some sort of...
472
00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:03,520
sex object.
473
00:22:05,320 --> 00:22:06,620
What do you think sells corn flakes?
474
00:22:08,755 --> 00:22:11,422
There is a strategy behind all this...
475
00:22:11,422 --> 00:22:12,756
when we'll air the spot,
476
00:22:12,756 --> 00:22:13,988
On which programmes...
477
00:22:13,988 --> 00:22:16,022
those with a strong female demographic,
478
00:22:16,022 --> 00:22:17,356
Ages 18-34.
479
00:22:23,557 --> 00:22:24,557
All right, do it.
480
00:22:24,557 --> 00:22:25,856
Jim, you can't...
481
00:22:25,856 --> 00:22:27,156
but if you turn me into a joke...
482
00:22:28,856 --> 00:22:31,391
i'll fucking have your balls.
483
00:22:31,391 --> 00:22:33,158
If he turns you into a joke,
484
00:22:33,158 --> 00:22:35,592
I'll fucking give them to you.
485
00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:46,326
Em?
486
00:22:46,326 --> 00:22:47,892
Hi, hon, i'll be right out.
487
00:22:49,426 --> 00:22:51,893
The new "traviata" just came out.
488
00:22:51,893 --> 00:22:53,461
Can't wait to hear it.
489
00:22:53,461 --> 00:22:54,394
Oh yeah?
490
00:22:58,161 --> 00:22:59,961
What's so funny?
491
00:22:59,961 --> 00:23:01,696
What, are you... you planning on going straight again,
492
00:23:01,696 --> 00:23:04,062
Or is this some kind of bizarro, crossdressing practice
493
00:23:04,062 --> 00:23:05,796
You engage in when i'm not around?
494
00:23:05,796 --> 00:23:08,529
I was just putting together an outfit for the neighbours' party.
495
00:23:08,529 --> 00:23:10,396
Well, you'll fit right in.
496
00:23:10,396 --> 00:23:12,831
Oh, oh, and check this out.
497
00:23:12,831 --> 00:23:14,230
It's my new colour scheme for the living room.
498
00:23:14,230 --> 00:23:16,430
Mocha walls,
499
00:23:16,430 --> 00:23:19,598
Chocolate mohair couch, and, um...
500
00:23:19,598 --> 00:23:21,631
charcoal tweed club chairs.
501
00:23:21,631 --> 00:23:26,332
Oh, it's... very smart, very sophisticated, but not very you.
502
00:23:26,332 --> 00:23:28,833
I mean, what... what happened to the... the plum carpet,
503
00:23:28,833 --> 00:23:32,200
The raspberry sofa, the...
504
00:23:32,200 --> 00:23:34,166
casaba melon pillows?
505
00:23:34,166 --> 00:23:35,100
Peach. Oh.
506
00:23:36,834 --> 00:23:38,200
Well, i... i hate to admit it,
507
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:40,835
But you know, maybe mel and linz were right.
508
00:23:40,835 --> 00:23:43,402
It was too... fruity.
509
00:23:43,402 --> 00:23:45,068
Uh-Huh. So,
510
00:23:45,068 --> 00:23:47,168
Instead we get assimilationist-Beige,
511
00:23:47,168 --> 00:23:50,135
Blend-Right-In-Brown and make-No-Waves-Grey.
512
00:23:50,135 --> 00:23:52,702
I just figured that since we're leaving liberty avenue,
513
00:23:52,702 --> 00:23:56,103
Maybe it was time we left certain other things behind too.
514
00:23:56,103 --> 00:23:59,002
Like our colour scheme, our self-Respect? I mean, what...
515
00:23:59,002 --> 00:24:00,803
whatever happened "to fuck 'em all" honeycutt?
516
00:24:03,904 --> 00:24:06,205
Back in hazelhurst,
517
00:24:06,205 --> 00:24:09,971
I used to look up at those houses on the hill,
518
00:24:09,971 --> 00:24:11,605
You know, where the right people lived?
519
00:24:13,238 --> 00:24:15,905
And dream that one day, i would live there too.
520
00:24:17,806 --> 00:24:20,840
And now that my dream is finally coming true, i...
521
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:23,373
I just... i don't want people thinking th...
522
00:24:23,373 --> 00:24:24,807
that we're the fags next door?
523
00:24:27,308 --> 00:24:29,174
Well, that's what we're going to be no matter what you do.
524
00:24:29,174 --> 00:24:30,641
And if they don't say it to our face,
525
00:24:30,641 --> 00:24:32,108
They'll say it behind our backs.
526
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,242
Wait there.
527
00:24:45,443 --> 00:24:48,478
This is what the well-Dressed queer will be wearing
528
00:24:48,478 --> 00:24:49,578
On friday night.
529
00:24:53,778 --> 00:24:56,011
I love that shirt. Isn't it so cute?
530
00:25:03,145 --> 00:25:04,846
Perfect. All right, man.
531
00:25:04,846 --> 00:25:06,246
Thank you. I appreciate it.
532
00:25:14,781 --> 00:25:15,848
I didn't see you.
533
00:25:16,914 --> 00:25:17,914
Guess not.
534
00:25:20,515 --> 00:25:21,849
You don't usually, uh,
535
00:25:21,849 --> 00:25:23,081
Work out this time of day, do you?
536
00:25:24,415 --> 00:25:25,415
Not usually.
537
00:25:31,349 --> 00:25:32,617
Look, it's not what you think.
538
00:25:35,283 --> 00:25:36,517
I think it's exactly what i think.
539
00:25:41,084 --> 00:25:43,351
Michael told me he was going to talk to you.
540
00:25:43,351 --> 00:25:45,118
Huh.
541
00:25:45,118 --> 00:25:46,051
Yeah, well he did.
542
00:25:47,184 --> 00:25:48,119
And he understands.
543
00:25:50,918 --> 00:25:52,619
Well, that's michael.
544
00:25:52,619 --> 00:25:54,219
Always understanding.
545
00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:55,754
Why don't you just mind your own business?
546
00:25:55,754 --> 00:25:57,487
If it was just you, i would.
547
00:25:57,487 --> 00:25:58,554
As my dear old dad used to say,
548
00:25:58,554 --> 00:25:59,654
You're three times seven.
549
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,354
But it's not just you.
550
00:26:07,187 --> 00:26:09,522
You're taking him down with you.
551
00:26:09,522 --> 00:26:11,522
I do not need to be lectured by the biggest whore in pittsburgh.
552
00:26:11,522 --> 00:26:13,355
You are fucking lucky you're not positive.
553
00:26:29,491 --> 00:26:31,425
You all right?
554
00:26:31,425 --> 00:26:32,358
Sure.
555
00:26:33,958 --> 00:26:34,891
Really?
556
00:26:45,460 --> 00:26:47,761
It was the interview.
557
00:26:47,761 --> 00:26:52,027
No. I don't give a shit about that.
558
00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:54,862
Huh, daphne was pretty pissed off, though.
559
00:26:54,862 --> 00:26:56,595
Passing me off as your cousin.
560
00:26:56,595 --> 00:26:58,328
Well, come on. I had to think of something.
561
00:26:58,328 --> 00:26:59,428
Mmm? Mmm.
562
00:27:02,463 --> 00:27:04,929
Is this how it's going to be from now on?
563
00:27:04,929 --> 00:27:08,663
Lying, playing games...
564
00:27:08,663 --> 00:27:10,296
now you're going away.
565
00:27:10,296 --> 00:27:11,930
To harrisburg for one night.
566
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:13,964
It's not like i'm going on a world tour.
567
00:27:13,964 --> 00:27:15,598
That's next. I wish.
568
00:27:17,997 --> 00:27:20,831
Look.
569
00:27:20,831 --> 00:27:23,165
Who knows what's going to happen? Hmm.
570
00:27:23,165 --> 00:27:24,999
I could bomb, and that'll be the end of it.
571
00:27:26,133 --> 00:27:27,299
But if this works...
572
00:27:28,833 --> 00:27:31,566
we could have this amazing life.
573
00:27:31,566 --> 00:27:35,100
I was thinking, we could buy a farmhouse,
574
00:27:35,100 --> 00:27:37,367
With a studio, and a practice room.
575
00:27:39,234 --> 00:27:41,868
Huh... you dream big.
576
00:27:41,868 --> 00:27:44,502
Why not? Doesn't cost anything.
577
00:27:44,502 --> 00:27:48,836
God, you're such a romantic.
578
00:27:48,836 --> 00:27:52,935
I hate that you're not going to be there with me.
579
00:27:52,935 --> 00:27:56,103
Not as much as me.
580
00:27:56,103 --> 00:27:59,170
How am i going to perform without my muse?
581
00:27:59,170 --> 00:28:01,003
You'll do fine.
582
00:28:01,003 --> 00:28:02,804
Besides, you always said i was distracting.
583
00:28:04,138 --> 00:28:06,772
Don't you know i was playing just for you?
584
00:28:33,008 --> 00:28:33,941
You're not ready.
585
00:28:38,777 --> 00:28:40,777
Well, come on. Get dressed.
586
00:28:40,777 --> 00:28:43,576
You don't want to miss all that hot male action.
587
00:28:43,576 --> 00:28:44,777
What's the matter with you?
588
00:28:48,110 --> 00:28:49,043
This.
589
00:28:50,244 --> 00:28:52,377
How'd you get that?
590
00:28:52,377 --> 00:28:54,477
What? Did one of your sex partners get carried away?
591
00:28:54,477 --> 00:28:56,579
No, one of yours.
592
00:28:56,579 --> 00:28:58,579
Your boyfriend practically stuffed me into a locker.
593
00:28:58,579 --> 00:29:00,012
What? How come?
594
00:29:00,012 --> 00:29:01,746
Well, it seems i said something about his steroid use
595
00:29:01,746 --> 00:29:02,912
He took objection to.
596
00:29:03,912 --> 00:29:05,346
Why'd you say anything at all?
597
00:29:07,946 --> 00:29:09,480
Um...
598
00:29:09,480 --> 00:29:13,313
because it's undignified for a university professor
599
00:29:13,313 --> 00:29:14,980
And not-So-Bestselling author
600
00:29:14,980 --> 00:29:17,148
To be seen making drug deals in a locker room.
601
00:29:20,482 --> 00:29:22,849
You saw him? Yeah.
602
00:29:22,849 --> 00:29:24,616
And now i'll be forced to sit at home,
603
00:29:24,616 --> 00:29:27,483
Not wearing my most fabulous new sleeveless shirt to babylon.
604
00:29:28,750 --> 00:29:29,750
I'm really sorry.
605
00:29:29,750 --> 00:29:31,250
Yeah, like that makes up for the fact
606
00:29:31,250 --> 00:29:32,550
That i'll be scarred for life.
607
00:29:32,550 --> 00:29:34,583
Well, you can... tell people you got it duelling.
608
00:29:36,884 --> 00:29:39,751
I thought you were going to talk to him. I did.
609
00:29:39,751 --> 00:29:41,552
He said it's something he needs to do.
610
00:29:41,552 --> 00:29:45,218
Ben needs more muscles like i need another cock.
611
00:29:45,218 --> 00:29:46,685
He said he's aware of the side effects.
612
00:29:46,685 --> 00:29:47,918
Like practically murdering
613
00:29:47,918 --> 00:29:49,420
His lover's best friend?
614
00:29:49,420 --> 00:29:51,986
Well, if you're cool sleeping with your eyes open
615
00:29:51,986 --> 00:29:54,353
And a hatchet under your pillow, that's your business.
616
00:29:55,820 --> 00:29:57,486
Just keep him the fuck away from me.
617
00:30:04,321 --> 00:30:05,755
Okay, i got my rented tux,
618
00:30:05,755 --> 00:30:07,088
My train ticket...
619
00:30:08,989 --> 00:30:10,523
"mischa".
620
00:30:10,523 --> 00:30:12,856
Okay, i guess that's everything.
621
00:30:12,856 --> 00:30:14,122
Except you.
622
00:30:14,122 --> 00:30:16,823
It's okay. You'll be back tomorrow.
623
00:30:16,823 --> 00:30:18,756
I love stiff-Upper-Lip goodbyes.
624
00:30:20,190 --> 00:30:22,390
So mrs. Miniver.
625
00:30:22,390 --> 00:30:23,824
Who's she?
626
00:30:23,824 --> 00:30:26,425
It's from an old movie. Don't you know anything?
627
00:30:26,425 --> 00:30:27,491
I'm an idiot.
628
00:30:27,491 --> 00:30:30,925
Ah, shut up. Careful.
629
00:30:30,925 --> 00:30:32,626
There might be paparazzi lurking on the rooftop.
630
00:30:32,626 --> 00:30:33,626
Fuck 'em.
631
00:30:33,626 --> 00:30:35,426
Look!
632
00:30:43,160 --> 00:30:44,660
I'll be thinking about you,
633
00:30:44,660 --> 00:30:46,593
Every step of the way, wishing you were there.
634
00:30:46,593 --> 00:30:47,994
Me too.
635
00:30:47,994 --> 00:30:50,796
You will be. Oh god.
636
00:30:50,796 --> 00:30:52,462
What a cornball.
637
00:30:52,462 --> 00:30:53,829
It's why you love me.
638
00:31:13,265 --> 00:31:14,565
This is amazing. Just amazing.
639
00:31:16,398 --> 00:31:18,698
You've gone up eight points in the polls.
640
00:31:18,698 --> 00:31:20,865
There was even an editorial in the paper this morning.
641
00:31:20,865 --> 00:31:22,599
Good or bad? It was mixed.
642
00:31:22,599 --> 00:31:24,466
It doesn't matter as long as they're talking about you.
643
00:31:24,466 --> 00:31:26,766
And all since your commercials aired.
644
00:31:26,766 --> 00:31:29,132
Yeah, all of those years of sit-Ups finally paid off.
645
00:31:29,132 --> 00:31:31,499
Well, we've been getting calls about it all morning.
646
00:31:31,499 --> 00:31:33,635
I just want you to know, i had every faith in you.
647
00:31:33,635 --> 00:31:34,635
No, you didn't.
648
00:31:36,535 --> 00:31:38,668
But you took a chance anyway.
649
00:31:38,668 --> 00:31:39,701
So, uh...
650
00:31:40,967 --> 00:31:43,102
what's our resident genius have in mind now?
651
00:31:43,102 --> 00:31:44,968
I'm jim stockwell,
652
00:31:44,968 --> 00:31:48,235
Police chief, and coach of my son's basketball team.
653
00:31:48,235 --> 00:31:50,269
There was a time...
654
00:31:50,269 --> 00:31:51,935
keep your face in the news.
655
00:31:51,935 --> 00:31:53,336
I'll keep your face on the screen.
656
00:31:53,336 --> 00:31:55,204
...available on every corner.
657
00:31:55,204 --> 00:31:57,204
As a crime fighter and a parent...
658
00:31:58,671 --> 00:32:00,671
huh, come on.
659
00:32:00,671 --> 00:32:03,337
We're the guests of honour. It's rude to be late.
660
00:32:03,337 --> 00:32:05,672
My intuition tells me things are not going to go well tonight.
661
00:32:05,672 --> 00:32:07,338
Well, your intuition also told you madonna
662
00:32:07,338 --> 00:32:09,071
Was going to win the oscar for "evita", so...
663
00:32:09,071 --> 00:32:10,938
she so deserved it.
664
00:32:13,906 --> 00:32:15,773
Look,
665
00:32:15,773 --> 00:32:18,908
No matter what happens in there tonight, just remember,
666
00:32:18,908 --> 00:32:20,841
This is what pride is all about.
667
00:32:20,841 --> 00:32:23,040
Why our forefathers and fore...
668
00:32:23,040 --> 00:32:26,608
drag queens stood their ground at stonewall...
669
00:32:26,608 --> 00:32:29,708
so that we could buy a house in a neighbourhood like this.
670
00:32:43,010 --> 00:32:44,844
Oh, there you two are!
671
00:32:44,844 --> 00:32:46,812
Come on in!
672
00:32:46,812 --> 00:32:48,912
Oh-H-H!
673
00:32:50,478 --> 00:32:53,344
Oh my goodness, look at that!
674
00:32:53,344 --> 00:32:56,279
I can't wear pastels, they make me look so dumpy.
675
00:32:56,279 --> 00:32:58,379
But you gays can wear anything.
676
00:32:58,379 --> 00:33:00,112
Such beautiful bodies.
677
00:33:00,112 --> 00:33:01,846
You put our husbands to shame!
678
00:33:01,846 --> 00:33:04,747
Speaking of the devil, my husband, dennis.
679
00:33:04,747 --> 00:33:07,481
Den, our new neighbours, fred and emile.
680
00:33:07,481 --> 00:33:08,881
Uh, it's ted.
681
00:33:08,881 --> 00:33:10,047
Emmett.
682
00:33:10,047 --> 00:33:11,314
Glad you could make it.
683
00:33:11,314 --> 00:33:13,214
We know you boys probably have a lot more...
684
00:33:13,214 --> 00:33:14,881
exciting things to do on a friday night.
685
00:33:14,881 --> 00:33:17,348
Well, actually... they don't need to know
686
00:33:17,348 --> 00:33:18,816
About killer krotch nite at babylon.
687
00:33:18,816 --> 00:33:20,515
How about a drink?
688
00:33:20,515 --> 00:33:21,549
I would give my left tit...
689
00:33:23,015 --> 00:33:25,583
I mean, my left arm, for a, uh... for a cosmo.
690
00:33:25,583 --> 00:33:26,750
Everybody! Well...
691
00:33:28,050 --> 00:33:30,517
these are the boys who bought the harris house.
692
00:33:31,784 --> 00:33:32,983
Hi!
693
00:33:32,983 --> 00:33:35,250
I'm dede and this is phil.
694
00:33:35,250 --> 00:33:37,017
We live across the street.
695
00:33:37,017 --> 00:33:39,251
Hi. Well, sunny has told us
696
00:33:39,251 --> 00:33:40,984
All about you.
697
00:33:40,984 --> 00:33:42,485
You know, our favourite tv show
698
00:33:42,485 --> 00:33:43,951
Is that gay drama, uh...
699
00:33:43,951 --> 00:33:45,185
what's it called?
700
00:33:45,185 --> 00:33:46,585
"Gay as", uh....
701
00:33:46,585 --> 00:33:47,820
Uh... something.
702
00:33:47,820 --> 00:33:49,887
"Gay as blazes"? That's it!
703
00:33:49,887 --> 00:33:52,454
Oh, we love the characters.
704
00:33:52,454 --> 00:33:54,287
You know, gay people
705
00:33:54,287 --> 00:33:56,821
Have the same problems that we do.
706
00:33:56,821 --> 00:33:59,021
I-Isn't it amazing? Yeah.
707
00:34:00,388 --> 00:34:01,655
We're the mayerhoffs.
708
00:34:01,655 --> 00:34:02,788
Hi.
709
00:34:02,788 --> 00:34:04,822
You must come to the school musical.
710
00:34:04,822 --> 00:34:08,087
We're doing "mame", and our 12-Year-Old olivia is mame.
711
00:34:08,087 --> 00:34:10,156
Oh? Not until they come to my house for dinner.
712
00:34:10,156 --> 00:34:13,056
I have a cousin who's a lesbian.
713
00:34:13,056 --> 00:34:15,557
Big deal. My brother is a tranny.
714
00:34:15,557 --> 00:34:16,924
What the hell's that?
715
00:34:16,924 --> 00:34:18,757
Some people are so ignorant, aren't they?
716
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:21,324
A transsexual. Right, guys?
717
00:34:21,324 --> 00:34:24,090
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's... right. Uh, it's... it's totally
718
00:34:24,090 --> 00:34:25,224
What we call them. T- T... tranny. Tra...
719
00:34:25,224 --> 00:34:26,191
drinks?
720
00:34:29,391 --> 00:34:30,358
Cheers! Cheers!
721
00:34:33,593 --> 00:34:35,293
Welcome to our new neighbours.
722
00:34:35,293 --> 00:34:36,992
Happy home-Owning!
723
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:41,661
So what did you think?
724
00:34:57,429 --> 00:34:59,162
Just terrific. Thank you.
725
00:34:59,162 --> 00:35:00,763
Thrilling performance.
726
00:35:00,763 --> 00:35:02,864
And you were so passionate.
727
00:35:02,864 --> 00:35:04,564
I tend to get involved with what i'm playing.
728
00:35:04,564 --> 00:35:06,230
And to step in like that, at the last minute.
729
00:35:06,230 --> 00:35:07,730
Most impressive.
730
00:35:07,730 --> 00:35:10,063
It was a privilege to perform, sir. Thank you.
731
00:35:12,298 --> 00:35:14,698
You play your admirers almost as well as your violin.
732
00:35:15,832 --> 00:35:17,232
I didn't work street corners for nothing.
733
00:35:17,232 --> 00:35:18,265
Well done, mr. Gold.
734
00:35:18,265 --> 00:35:19,899
Next time, we get a tux that fits.
735
00:35:21,199 --> 00:35:22,834
You mean there's actually going to be a next time?
736
00:35:24,166 --> 00:35:25,667
I spoke with the buffalo symphony.
737
00:35:25,667 --> 00:35:29,266
They want to include you in their "emerging artists series."
738
00:35:29,266 --> 00:35:30,999
No shit! Mr. Gold?
739
00:35:30,999 --> 00:35:33,601
Wonderful. Thank you. Thank you very much!
740
00:35:33,601 --> 00:35:35,768
I'll call you when i get back to new york with the details, okay?
741
00:36:50,846 --> 00:36:51,912
Cocktail frank?
742
00:36:51,912 --> 00:36:53,645
Uh, it's ted.
743
00:36:58,079 --> 00:36:59,046
Thank you, sunny.
744
00:37:00,179 --> 00:37:01,813
What line are you in, emmett?
745
00:37:01,813 --> 00:37:04,213
I, uh, i work at a small gentleman's haberdashery,
746
00:37:04,213 --> 00:37:05,246
On liberty avenue.
747
00:37:05,246 --> 00:37:06,814
Oh, the gay street!
748
00:37:06,814 --> 00:37:07,814
Yeah, that's right.
749
00:37:07,814 --> 00:37:09,214
Cocktail frank? No, thank you.
750
00:37:09,214 --> 00:37:10,381
But what i really want to do
751
00:37:10,381 --> 00:37:11,949
Is be a party planner.
752
00:37:11,949 --> 00:37:14,215
Maybe you could help plan my holiday party.
753
00:37:14,215 --> 00:37:15,215
And mine!
754
00:37:15,215 --> 00:37:16,682
Oh, and mine!
755
00:37:16,682 --> 00:37:17,749
No, that would be great!
756
00:37:17,749 --> 00:37:18,683
Ah.
757
00:37:20,115 --> 00:37:22,115
And your intuition told you tonight would be a disaster.
758
00:37:28,183 --> 00:37:29,717
Can i help you, officers?
759
00:37:29,717 --> 00:37:30,650
Is someone double-Parked?
760
00:37:31,750 --> 00:37:33,117
Uh, we were told we might find a...
761
00:37:33,117 --> 00:37:34,117
theodore schmidt here, ma'am.
762
00:37:34,117 --> 00:37:36,751
His office gave us this address.
763
00:37:36,751 --> 00:37:37,886
Our new neighbour.
764
00:37:37,886 --> 00:37:38,886
He's right in here.
765
00:37:43,385 --> 00:37:46,085
Little sleepers, baby powder...
766
00:37:46,085 --> 00:37:47,085
theodore schmidt?
767
00:37:47,085 --> 00:37:48,085
Oh...
768
00:37:48,085 --> 00:37:49,653
Yeah, that's, uh... right.
769
00:37:49,653 --> 00:37:50,787
Can i... can i help you, officers?
770
00:37:50,787 --> 00:37:52,253
You're under arrest, mr. Schmidt.
771
00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:54,921
A-Arrest?
772
00:37:54,921 --> 00:37:56,254
For what?
773
00:37:56,254 --> 00:37:57,354
Contributing to the delinquency of a minor.
774
00:37:57,354 --> 00:38:00,088
Th... that's very flattering, officer. I...
775
00:38:00,088 --> 00:38:01,988
know i look way younger than my years, but...
776
00:38:01,988 --> 00:38:04,789
an inspection of your pornographic website establishment
777
00:38:04,789 --> 00:38:07,021
Found an underage employee on your premises.
778
00:38:07,021 --> 00:38:08,689
Huh! No, that... that's absurd.
779
00:38:08,689 --> 00:38:09,890
I checked and doublechecked everyone.
780
00:38:09,890 --> 00:38:11,022
There are no underage employees.
781
00:38:12,756 --> 00:38:13,989
What about edward stewart malone?
782
00:38:13,989 --> 00:38:15,690
Eddie? He... he's my assistant.
783
00:38:15,690 --> 00:38:17,424
He won't be 18 for another 3 months.
784
00:38:17,424 --> 00:38:19,257
Good lord. Oh-H!
785
00:38:19,257 --> 00:38:20,492
Eddie's 21!
786
00:38:20,492 --> 00:38:21,825
Not according to his birth certificate.
787
00:38:22,892 --> 00:38:24,925
B-But, he... he's so tall.
788
00:38:24,925 --> 00:38:26,358
Want to come along?
789
00:38:26,358 --> 00:38:27,692
Officer norton here will read you the miranda.
790
00:38:29,158 --> 00:38:30,125
Em...
791
00:38:31,392 --> 00:38:33,259
uh, uh...
792
00:38:33,259 --> 00:38:34,992
uh, th-Thank you, sunny,
793
00:38:34,992 --> 00:38:36,459
Thank you, dennis, um...
794
00:38:37,893 --> 00:38:39,393
Well, everyone, as... as soon as we get moved in,
795
00:38:39,393 --> 00:38:43,228
We're going... have a... a... a big ol' barbecue.
796
00:38:43,228 --> 00:38:44,928
And you're...
797
00:38:44,928 --> 00:38:46,528
You're all invited. So...
798
00:38:48,862 --> 00:38:52,128
Oh... goodness. Oh, you just never know about people.
799
00:39:07,097 --> 00:39:08,331
Can i do anything? Agh.
800
00:39:16,665 --> 00:39:17,632
Mmmm.
801
00:39:20,232 --> 00:39:22,999
Must be something i ate. Or the steroids.
802
00:39:22,999 --> 00:39:25,334
We already had that conversation.
803
00:39:25,334 --> 00:39:26,567
It's fucking you up.
804
00:39:26,567 --> 00:39:27,834
It is not fucking me up.
805
00:39:27,834 --> 00:39:30,033
Yeah, it is. And you don't even know it.
806
00:39:30,033 --> 00:39:31,334
Christ, you even hit brian.
807
00:39:31,334 --> 00:39:32,534
I did not hit him!
808
00:39:32,534 --> 00:39:34,268
Well, shoved him, made him bleed,
809
00:39:34,268 --> 00:39:36,435
Whatever. But you can't just go around shoving people
810
00:39:36,435 --> 00:39:38,935
And acting all crazy. Oh, now i'm crazy?
811
00:39:38,935 --> 00:39:40,268
Uh, fuck you!
812
00:39:40,268 --> 00:39:41,969
You're not crazy. You just...
813
00:39:41,969 --> 00:39:44,069
sometimes you act that way.
814
00:39:44,069 --> 00:39:45,536
You don't understand anything.
815
00:39:45,536 --> 00:39:46,603
Understand what?
816
00:39:49,103 --> 00:39:50,637
What it's like to wake up every morning
817
00:39:50,637 --> 00:39:52,971
And remember, "oh yeah, i've got this thing."
818
00:39:52,971 --> 00:39:55,972
Because you don't have this thing.
819
00:39:55,972 --> 00:39:59,471
You never have to take a mouthful of meds,
820
00:39:59,471 --> 00:40:01,171
Never knowing when they'll stop working,
821
00:40:01,171 --> 00:40:03,071
Never knowing when a fucking cough or a fucking sniffle
822
00:40:03,071 --> 00:40:05,305
May land you in the hospital, because to you,
823
00:40:05,305 --> 00:40:07,973
Michael, it is just a fucking cough or a fucking sniffle!
824
00:40:07,973 --> 00:40:09,507
And every time i go to kiss you
825
00:40:09,507 --> 00:40:11,540
Or suck you or fuck you,
826
00:40:11,540 --> 00:40:14,273
Even when we're protected, even then there's still this shitty,
827
00:40:14,273 --> 00:40:16,641
Nagging doubt that maybe, just maybe, you could get infected.
828
00:40:20,508 --> 00:40:21,741
Sometimes i just think... what?
829
00:40:25,809 --> 00:40:26,909
Sometimes you just think what?
830
00:40:28,842 --> 00:40:30,008
That it might just be easier
831
00:40:30,008 --> 00:40:31,108
To be with someone who's positive.
832
00:42:04,155 --> 00:42:05,122
Buy you another one?
833
00:42:08,189 --> 00:42:09,156
No thanks.
834
00:42:16,323 --> 00:42:17,524
Where's your fiance?
835
00:42:20,858 --> 00:42:21,992
He's playing somewhere.
836
00:42:26,259 --> 00:42:27,259
Well, luckily...
837
00:42:28,325 --> 00:42:29,359
you have this.
838
00:42:35,226 --> 00:42:36,226
See ya.
839
00:42:36,276 --> 00:42:40,826
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