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1
00:00:06,746 --> 00:00:07,747
Hey, see that guy?
2
00:00:10,250 --> 00:00:11,251
He just turned 30.
3
00:00:11,251 --> 00:00:13,253
Wow!
4
00:00:13,755 --> 00:00:15,757
That's what you're going to look like in a couple days, mikey.
5
00:00:16,257 --> 00:00:18,260
Oh, don't listen to him, you look like you're 10.
6
00:00:18,761 --> 00:00:21,263
Yeah, but this strange thing happens on your 30th.
7
00:00:21,764 --> 00:00:23,767
You look great the night before, but then you wake up the next morning,
8
00:00:24,267 --> 00:00:27,772
And your ass is down to there, and your dick disappears.
9
00:00:27,772 --> 00:00:29,774
Well i'm 33. What does that make me?
10
00:00:29,774 --> 00:00:32,778
God, did you guys just hear something?
11
00:00:32,778 --> 00:00:34,780
Like a voice from the dead?
12
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:36,783
I'm glad i didn't move in with david,
13
00:00:36,783 --> 00:00:38,785
I don't know how much time i have left.
14
00:00:38,785 --> 00:00:39,786
I don't know what i was thinking.
15
00:00:39,786 --> 00:00:41,789
Well, perhaps you were lured by the prospect
16
00:00:41,789 --> 00:00:43,791
Of all that chiropractic sex.
17
00:00:43,791 --> 00:00:45,794
The sex wasn't that great.
18
00:00:47,295 --> 00:00:50,299
I seem to remember something about a "talented tongue".
19
00:00:50,299 --> 00:00:51,300
Yeah, and uh,
20
00:00:51,300 --> 00:00:52,802
"Fantastic fingers".
21
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:54,805
Orgasms that wouldn't quit.
22
00:00:54,805 --> 00:00:56,306
All right, the sex was great.
23
00:00:56,807 --> 00:00:58,809
It's just... it gets boring, you know,
24
00:00:58,809 --> 00:01:00,311
With the same person after a while.
25
00:01:00,311 --> 00:01:02,313
Well i wouldn't know.
26
00:01:02,814 --> 00:01:03,816
Well, now i'm ready to do all those things
27
00:01:04,316 --> 00:01:05,317
You can't do with a boyfriend,
28
00:01:05,317 --> 00:01:07,319
Like go to the clubs, and go out dancing.
29
00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:09,322
Go home alone.
30
00:01:09,322 --> 00:01:10,323
Hey, busboy!
31
00:01:16,330 --> 00:01:18,333
Do you think we could get some water?
32
00:01:22,338 --> 00:01:23,840
What is he doing here?
33
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:25,341
Isn't he adorable?
34
00:01:25,341 --> 00:01:26,844
The customers love him.
35
00:01:27,344 --> 00:01:29,847
His ass gets more compliments than the burgers.
36
00:01:29,847 --> 00:01:30,848
'Cause his buns are fresh.
37
00:01:33,351 --> 00:01:35,855
Jesus.
38
00:01:35,855 --> 00:01:37,857
You live in my room at my mother's house,
39
00:01:37,857 --> 00:01:39,859
You work where i eat. I can't get rid of you, can i?
40
00:01:40,360 --> 00:01:41,361
Blame him.
41
00:01:41,361 --> 00:01:43,864
He's the one who's making me do this.
42
00:01:43,864 --> 00:01:46,367
He's just paying off the charges he made on my credit card.
43
00:01:46,367 --> 00:01:47,869
Couldn't you send him to prison?
44
00:01:47,869 --> 00:01:48,870
This is worse.
45
00:01:53,375 --> 00:01:54,377
Where's david?
46
00:01:54,377 --> 00:01:55,879
Um, i think he had a patient.
47
00:01:59,383 --> 00:02:01,385
Don't bullshit me.
48
00:02:01,385 --> 00:02:03,388
It ran its course, deb, leave it alone.
49
00:02:08,394 --> 00:02:09,395
Okay.
50
00:02:10,396 --> 00:02:13,400
So... emmett,
51
00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:15,402
How about those blueberry-Banana pancakes you love, honey?
52
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:17,405
Ooh, yes! Yum!
53
00:02:17,405 --> 00:02:21,410
Ugh, why did i eat those goddamn pancakes?
54
00:02:21,410 --> 00:02:25,415
They're repeating more than "i love lucy".
55
00:02:25,415 --> 00:02:28,418
I need to go refill my claritin.
56
00:02:28,418 --> 00:02:30,421
Mm-Hmm.
57
00:02:30,922 --> 00:02:31,923
Hey, did you see that guy?
58
00:02:32,423 --> 00:02:34,927
Honey, my gaydar went off the minute he walked in.
59
00:02:34,927 --> 00:02:36,929
I had sex with him.
60
00:02:36,929 --> 00:02:38,430
You did not. Did too.
61
00:02:38,430 --> 00:02:39,432
Stop it.
62
00:02:39,933 --> 00:02:40,934
Tell me every detail.
63
00:02:41,434 --> 00:02:43,436
It was six months ago, after work.
64
00:02:43,436 --> 00:02:45,439
I stopped off to pick up some bottled water on the way home.
65
00:02:45,439 --> 00:02:47,441
That was before i started using the brita filter.
66
00:02:47,441 --> 00:02:48,944
Okay, not every detail.
67
00:02:59,957 --> 00:03:01,960
Sorry. No problem.
68
00:03:04,462 --> 00:03:07,466
Don't want to face the morning without water.
69
00:03:07,466 --> 00:03:08,467
Oh, yeah.
70
00:03:28,992 --> 00:03:30,995
And that's the story.
71
00:03:32,496 --> 00:03:35,000
I need to go into a phone booth and jerk off.
72
00:03:35,500 --> 00:03:37,502
It was late. I probably looked good to him
73
00:03:37,502 --> 00:03:39,005
'Cause he didn't have his contacts in.
74
00:03:39,505 --> 00:03:41,007
Honey, take it any way you can.
75
00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:43,510
Oh, i did.
76
00:03:44,011 --> 00:03:45,512
I'm still on the crixivan, that's not a problem?
77
00:03:46,013 --> 00:03:48,516
Good, you won't have any side effects.
78
00:03:48,516 --> 00:03:51,019
He must be positive. That's why he has such a good body.
79
00:03:51,019 --> 00:03:52,521
They put them on steroids, you know?
80
00:03:55,524 --> 00:03:57,027
What?
81
00:03:57,027 --> 00:03:58,528
You were safe, weren't you?
82
00:04:10,043 --> 00:04:11,544
Mike? We need you in the back,
83
00:04:11,544 --> 00:04:13,046
There's a fire.
84
00:04:13,046 --> 00:04:15,049
A-A fire? Holy shit!
85
00:04:24,060 --> 00:04:25,061
Where's the fire?
86
00:04:25,561 --> 00:04:27,063
Over here!
87
00:04:27,063 --> 00:04:29,066
Surprise!
88
00:04:29,066 --> 00:04:30,067
Happy birthday.
89
00:04:31,568 --> 00:04:33,071
You guys. How did you...
90
00:04:33,071 --> 00:04:35,573
Tracy found out. She knows everything about you.
91
00:04:36,074 --> 00:04:37,075
Uh, really?
92
00:04:37,075 --> 00:04:38,577
Not everything.
93
00:04:38,577 --> 00:04:39,578
Make a wish.
94
00:04:44,584 --> 00:04:46,086
Old man now.
95
00:04:51,593 --> 00:04:53,595
Happy birthday, mike.
96
00:04:53,595 --> 00:04:55,097
Whoo-Oo-Oo!
97
00:04:55,097 --> 00:04:56,599
Happy birthday, mike.
98
00:05:01,605 --> 00:05:03,607
They threw a party for me at work today.
99
00:05:03,607 --> 00:05:04,609
Aw-W-W!
100
00:05:04,609 --> 00:05:06,111
That's cute.
101
00:05:06,111 --> 00:05:08,613
Right, like that's supposed to make me happy,
102
00:05:08,613 --> 00:05:10,616
Knowing that all my best years are behind me.
103
00:05:13,620 --> 00:05:15,622
You're not planning some hideous birthday surprise, are you?
104
00:05:17,624 --> 00:05:20,628
Why would i want to celebrate a tragic event like that?
105
00:05:20,628 --> 00:05:25,134
Good, 'cause i want that day to pass without a single reminder that...
106
00:05:25,134 --> 00:05:27,637
i'll never be young and cute again.
107
00:05:29,639 --> 00:05:31,641
Well, maybe you should have kept the good doctor around.
108
00:05:31,641 --> 00:05:33,144
You'll always be younger than him.
109
00:05:33,144 --> 00:05:35,646
And cuter. I thought you couldn't stand him.
110
00:05:35,646 --> 00:05:37,149
When did i ever say that?
111
00:05:37,149 --> 00:05:38,150
Every chance you got.
112
00:05:38,650 --> 00:05:40,152
Maybe he wasn't such a bad guy after all.
113
00:05:40,652 --> 00:05:43,156
Well, now's a hell of a time to tell me.
114
00:05:43,156 --> 00:05:45,158
Why? You didn't break up with him on account of me, did you?
115
00:05:45,158 --> 00:05:46,160
Course not.
116
00:05:46,160 --> 00:05:48,162
That's good.
117
00:05:48,162 --> 00:05:49,663
Because we can't spend the rest of our fucking lives
118
00:05:50,165 --> 00:05:50,665
Hanging out together.
119
00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:13,193
How could you do that? How could you just lapse?
120
00:06:16,696 --> 00:06:18,199
I wasn't thinking.
121
00:06:18,199 --> 00:06:19,700
There was no time to think.
122
00:06:20,201 --> 00:06:21,702
Well, that's no excuse.
123
00:06:21,702 --> 00:06:25,207
I always have a condom, spermicidal lubricant...
124
00:06:25,207 --> 00:06:27,210
A bottle of hydrogen peroxide and witch hazel. Great.
125
00:06:27,210 --> 00:06:30,213
So you're the safe-Sex poster boy and i'm the happy hooker.
126
00:06:30,213 --> 00:06:31,715
I'm just saying, you have to be careful.
127
00:06:31,715 --> 00:06:33,217
All right, already.
128
00:06:33,217 --> 00:06:34,718
I'm serious.
129
00:06:35,219 --> 00:06:36,721
If anything ever happened to you...
130
00:06:38,723 --> 00:06:40,226
you're too important to me.
131
00:06:44,731 --> 00:06:46,233
Thanks, em.
132
00:06:48,735 --> 00:06:50,738
Okay, let's roll up those sleeves.
133
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:53,742
Hi.
134
00:06:53,742 --> 00:06:54,743
Hi.
135
00:06:57,246 --> 00:06:58,748
You're not a regular patient here, are you?
136
00:06:59,249 --> 00:07:00,250
He's not a regular anything.
137
00:07:01,751 --> 00:07:04,255
I'm just getting tested for moral support.
138
00:07:04,255 --> 00:07:06,257
I-I make a point of getting tested every six months.
139
00:07:06,257 --> 00:07:09,261
I'm silly, really, 'cause most of my sex is cyber.
140
00:07:09,261 --> 00:07:10,262
Ow!
141
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:16,770
What's your insurance situation?
142
00:07:17,271 --> 00:07:19,773
Um, i'll pay by cheque.
143
00:07:19,773 --> 00:07:22,777
Address, phone number right on top.
144
00:07:22,777 --> 00:07:24,779
Can we just do this?
145
00:07:24,779 --> 00:07:25,781
He's nervous.
146
00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:36,294
I'm sure you'll be fine.
147
00:07:36,794 --> 00:07:37,795
That's what i told him.
148
00:07:44,804 --> 00:07:47,307
Okay. We're all done.
149
00:07:47,307 --> 00:07:48,809
And now... we wait.
150
00:07:55,817 --> 00:07:56,818
Sunshine! Hmm?
151
00:07:56,818 --> 00:07:59,322
Here. Take these on up to your room.
152
00:07:59,322 --> 00:08:02,326
Okey-Doke. Myroom.
153
00:08:02,326 --> 00:08:03,827
Come on, sweetie.
154
00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:05,329
Back off, huh?
155
00:08:05,329 --> 00:08:06,831
You're about to be 30 years old.
156
00:08:06,831 --> 00:08:08,333
So old.
157
00:08:08,833 --> 00:08:09,334
Don't remind me.
158
00:08:13,339 --> 00:08:16,343
What are those? His meds.
159
00:08:16,343 --> 00:08:17,844
I thought you just got some.
160
00:08:17,844 --> 00:08:19,346
Those little bottles don't go far
161
00:08:19,846 --> 00:08:21,849
When you're popping 50 pills a day.
162
00:08:21,849 --> 00:08:25,354
You're on your last refill.
163
00:08:25,354 --> 00:08:26,855
I'll call the doctor.
164
00:08:26,855 --> 00:08:27,856
Speaking of doctors...
165
00:08:27,856 --> 00:08:29,859
that's a subtle segue.
166
00:08:29,859 --> 00:08:31,361
Look, i don't want to discuss this,
167
00:08:31,361 --> 00:08:32,862
It doesn't concern you.
168
00:08:32,862 --> 00:08:35,366
Oh no? I just lost a potential son-In-Law.
169
00:08:35,366 --> 00:08:37,868
All you lost was free treatment for osteoporosis.
170
00:08:37,868 --> 00:08:39,871
Michael charles novotny!
171
00:08:39,871 --> 00:08:41,873
Uh-Oh, middle name, look out.
172
00:08:41,873 --> 00:08:44,877
You listen to me and you listen carefully.
173
00:08:44,877 --> 00:08:47,381
Do not fuck this up.
174
00:08:47,381 --> 00:08:49,383
Now i want you to call david right now
175
00:08:49,383 --> 00:08:52,387
And apologize to him for whatever it is you did.
176
00:08:52,387 --> 00:08:53,888
What makes you think i did anything?
177
00:08:54,389 --> 00:08:55,390
I'm your mother.
178
00:08:55,390 --> 00:08:58,894
Mom, david and i had nothing in common
179
00:08:58,894 --> 00:09:01,398
Except pantene shampoo and conditioner in one
180
00:09:01,398 --> 00:09:03,900
And i had to give up my entire life.
181
00:09:03,900 --> 00:09:04,901
I couldn't see my friends,
182
00:09:04,901 --> 00:09:06,904
I couldn't go to clubs.
183
00:09:06,904 --> 00:09:07,905
Good.
184
00:09:07,905 --> 00:09:09,907
Get out before they kick you out,
185
00:09:09,907 --> 00:09:11,410
Before you turn invisible.
186
00:09:11,410 --> 00:09:12,911
See? Listen to your uncle.
187
00:09:12,911 --> 00:09:13,912
Huh, you want to be like him?
188
00:09:16,416 --> 00:09:18,418
You know what i mean.
189
00:09:18,418 --> 00:09:20,921
In a few days you're not going to be a kid any more,
190
00:09:21,422 --> 00:09:22,423
Hanging out with brian.
191
00:09:22,423 --> 00:09:23,925
Why is it always brian?
192
00:09:23,925 --> 00:09:25,927
You tell me.
193
00:09:25,927 --> 00:09:28,431
I mean, david really cared for you.
194
00:09:28,431 --> 00:09:30,433
You could see it in his eyes.
195
00:09:30,433 --> 00:09:32,435
Huh, vic, couldn't you?
196
00:09:32,435 --> 00:09:34,938
I don't know, i was too busy looking at his chest.
197
00:09:34,938 --> 00:09:36,440
There'll be someone else.
198
00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,943
There'll always be someone else.
199
00:09:39,444 --> 00:09:41,446
But there won't be someone like david every day.
200
00:10:00,470 --> 00:10:01,471
Hello?
201
00:10:01,471 --> 00:10:02,472
Hello?
202
00:10:05,976 --> 00:10:06,977
Michael?
203
00:10:06,977 --> 00:10:08,479
I have caller i.D.
204
00:10:08,479 --> 00:10:10,482
I-I must have pushed the wrong button.
205
00:10:22,997 --> 00:10:24,999
You've ruined my kid's life.
206
00:10:24,999 --> 00:10:26,000
What, no hello kiss?
207
00:10:26,501 --> 00:10:28,003
I mean it!
208
00:10:28,003 --> 00:10:29,004
You got something fizzy?
209
00:10:32,008 --> 00:10:35,011
I remember the first time i heard your name.
210
00:10:35,011 --> 00:10:37,515
Michael says, "there's this new boy in school,
211
00:10:37,515 --> 00:10:39,517
Brian kinney."
212
00:10:39,517 --> 00:10:41,520
For weeks that's all he could talk about:
213
00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,523
"Brian kinney this, and brian kinney that."
214
00:10:44,523 --> 00:10:48,027
Next thing, you're cutting classes.
215
00:10:48,027 --> 00:10:49,529
And then i come home from work one day
216
00:10:49,529 --> 00:10:51,532
And i find the 2 of you,
14 and drunk.
217
00:10:53,534 --> 00:10:56,037
It was then i knew you were trouble.
218
00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:59,542
And you haven't disappointed me a day since then.
219
00:11:00,042 --> 00:11:03,546
Well, at least you can't accuse me of being inconsistent.
220
00:11:03,546 --> 00:11:05,048
Consistent heartbreak.
221
00:11:05,048 --> 00:11:07,050
Come on, deb, you know i've looked after mikey.
222
00:11:07,551 --> 00:11:10,054
I never said that you weren't there for him.
223
00:11:10,054 --> 00:11:12,056
You've been there too much.
224
00:11:12,056 --> 00:11:14,560
Always giving him just those extra little tidbits
225
00:11:15,060 --> 00:11:16,562
Of your affection, huh?
226
00:11:17,062 --> 00:11:20,066
To make him believe that maybe someday you'd be his.
227
00:11:20,066 --> 00:11:21,568
Well, who knows? Maybe we'll end up
228
00:11:22,069 --> 00:11:24,572
A couple of old queens in palm springs.
229
00:11:24,572 --> 00:11:26,575
Only what's he supposed to do until then?
230
00:11:28,076 --> 00:11:29,578
He had a chance with david,
231
00:11:30,579 --> 00:11:32,081
But you had to fuck it up.
232
00:11:32,582 --> 00:11:33,583
He wasn't having any fun.
233
00:11:33,583 --> 00:11:35,586
He's had enough fun.
234
00:11:35,586 --> 00:11:37,588
You've all had enough fun.
235
00:11:37,588 --> 00:11:40,091
It's time for him to be a man.
236
00:11:40,091 --> 00:11:42,093
And what do you want me to do about that?
237
00:11:42,093 --> 00:11:43,094
Well, i don't know.
238
00:11:44,095 --> 00:11:45,598
Something.
239
00:11:45,598 --> 00:11:47,600
You owe my kid something.
240
00:11:49,101 --> 00:11:52,105
Okay, you win.
241
00:11:52,105 --> 00:11:53,607
I'll do something.
242
00:11:55,610 --> 00:11:56,611
It's mikey's 30th birthday.
243
00:12:00,115 --> 00:12:02,618
He should have a party he never forgets.
244
00:12:13,632 --> 00:12:15,133
Would you look at this?
245
00:12:15,133 --> 00:12:17,136
It lifts and separates.
246
00:12:17,637 --> 00:12:19,138
Sounds like the "i can't believe it's a bra".
247
00:12:19,639 --> 00:12:21,141
Hmm, same principle.
248
00:12:21,141 --> 00:12:23,143
It's the "i can't believe it's a harness".
249
00:12:23,644 --> 00:12:25,145
Yeah, somehow i can't see michael
250
00:12:25,145 --> 00:12:27,148
Trussed up like a turkey.
251
00:12:27,148 --> 00:12:29,150
So then what are we doing here?
252
00:12:29,150 --> 00:12:31,654
He's one of my best friends.
253
00:12:31,654 --> 00:12:33,656
I can't let his 30th birthday go by
254
00:12:33,656 --> 00:12:35,659
Without getting him something cheap and demeaning.
255
00:12:35,659 --> 00:12:37,160
How about some ben wa balls?
256
00:12:37,661 --> 00:12:38,662
Well, he is a bit of a tight-Ass.
257
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:44,670
I wonder what brian'll get him.
258
00:12:46,171 --> 00:12:48,173
If he's lucky, a farewell fuck,
259
00:12:48,173 --> 00:12:49,175
Once and for all.
260
00:12:49,676 --> 00:12:50,677
Nice.
261
00:12:50,677 --> 00:12:52,178
Well, it is something he wants
262
00:12:52,178 --> 00:12:53,681
And wouldn't get for himself.
263
00:13:00,188 --> 00:13:00,689
What do you think of this?
264
00:13:02,692 --> 00:13:03,693
I think he already has one.
265
00:13:03,693 --> 00:13:05,194
No, i mean for lindsay and me.
266
00:13:05,194 --> 00:13:06,697
Oh, sorry, not my area.
267
00:13:06,697 --> 00:13:08,699
It hasn't been mine either, lately.
268
00:13:08,699 --> 00:13:10,200
Well, give it time.
269
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,202
You know, after a woman gives birth
270
00:13:11,202 --> 00:13:12,203
It takes several months
271
00:13:12,203 --> 00:13:13,705
Before she feels sexual again.
272
00:13:13,705 --> 00:13:15,206
Oh god, i wish you'd stop reading "redbook".
273
00:13:15,708 --> 00:13:18,711
Hmm, "mccall's". I like the sex tips better.
274
00:13:18,711 --> 00:13:20,714
Did you know there's ten ways to please a man
275
00:13:20,714 --> 00:13:22,215
Without opening your mouth?
276
00:13:22,215 --> 00:13:23,717
Hmm, go figure.
277
00:13:27,221 --> 00:13:29,725
It's not just the sex. I feel like she's shutting me out.
278
00:13:29,725 --> 00:13:32,227
I just... i don't know how much longer i can take it.
279
00:13:32,227 --> 00:13:33,730
Look, i don't want to hear this.
280
00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,732
Why can't i share? Because the minute
281
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:37,734
You start telling your friends your relationship problems,
282
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:39,236
It's the beginning of the end.
283
00:13:39,236 --> 00:13:40,738
Find a shrink. Oy.
284
00:13:40,738 --> 00:13:42,740
I've been in therapy for six years.
285
00:13:42,740 --> 00:13:43,742
Are you covered by insurance?
286
00:13:43,742 --> 00:13:44,743
Yup. Great.
287
00:13:44,743 --> 00:13:46,745
Then have a breakdown, you can afford it.
288
00:13:46,745 --> 00:13:47,747
Jesus, what is with you?
289
00:13:47,747 --> 00:13:49,248
You are so negative.
290
00:13:49,248 --> 00:13:51,250
From your lips to god's ears.
291
00:13:55,255 --> 00:13:56,256
It's me.
292
00:13:57,759 --> 00:13:58,760
Hello?
293
00:13:59,260 --> 00:14:01,764
Hey, ted, it's steve from dr. Roth's office.
294
00:14:01,764 --> 00:14:02,765
Um, your results are in.
295
00:14:03,766 --> 00:14:05,267
Well, that... that was fast.
296
00:14:06,770 --> 00:14:11,275
Uh, so do you, uh, do you want me to come in?
297
00:14:11,275 --> 00:14:13,277
Nope, no need to. Everything's fine.
298
00:14:15,280 --> 00:14:16,281
Thanks.
299
00:14:22,789 --> 00:14:23,289
I'm negative.
300
00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:33,302
I'm negative!
301
00:14:33,302 --> 00:14:34,804
That's okay.
302
00:14:34,804 --> 00:14:36,305
Happy people can be really annoying.
303
00:14:43,815 --> 00:14:46,317
Okay, we've got to prepare our stories for michael.
304
00:14:46,317 --> 00:14:48,821
I don't trust you to think on the spot.
305
00:14:48,821 --> 00:14:51,324
You always assume the worst. You're so negative.
306
00:14:51,825 --> 00:14:53,326
Hmm, funny.
307
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:54,327
That's what the doctor said.
308
00:14:57,832 --> 00:14:59,333
You heard?
309
00:14:59,333 --> 00:15:01,336
Oh, ted, my god. That's fabulous.
310
00:15:02,838 --> 00:15:04,339
Now i hope you've learned your lesson.
311
00:15:04,339 --> 00:15:05,341
Yes, mother.
312
00:15:05,341 --> 00:15:06,843
Oh my god, let me show you what i got michael.
313
00:15:09,847 --> 00:15:12,349
One vintage easy-Cake oven.
314
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,853
Why'd you get him that?
315
00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:16,855
Every gay boy wanted an easy-Cake oven.
316
00:15:16,855 --> 00:15:18,357
Uh-Huh.
317
00:15:18,858 --> 00:15:19,358
Didn't you?
318
00:15:19,859 --> 00:15:20,860
Unh-Uh.
319
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:22,361
So, did they call you?
320
00:15:22,361 --> 00:15:24,364
Oh, i haven't checked my messages yet.
321
00:15:32,374 --> 00:15:33,375
Steve...
322
00:15:33,375 --> 00:15:35,377
Cutie from dr. Roth's office.
323
00:15:39,382 --> 00:15:40,383
He wants me to...
324
00:15:41,385 --> 00:15:42,386
what?
325
00:15:45,891 --> 00:15:47,392
What?
326
00:15:47,392 --> 00:15:48,894
He wants me to come in as soon as possible.
327
00:15:50,897 --> 00:15:52,899
Well, i'm sure it can't mean what you think it means,
328
00:15:52,899 --> 00:15:55,402
Because you said yourself, you never do anything.
329
00:15:55,402 --> 00:15:56,904
All you have to do is one thing.
330
00:15:56,904 --> 00:15:58,405
I'm sure you're fine, emmett.
331
00:15:58,405 --> 00:15:59,908
Then why didn't he say that?
332
00:15:59,908 --> 00:16:03,411
It's probably... it's procedure with new patients.
333
00:16:03,411 --> 00:16:04,914
Bullshit. Everybody knows when they tell you to come in
334
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:05,915
It means something's wrong.
335
00:16:08,919 --> 00:16:10,921
Fuck. The office is closed for the weekend.
336
00:16:10,921 --> 00:16:12,924
I have to wait... i-I... i have to wait till monday.
337
00:16:12,924 --> 00:16:14,926
I have to wait till fucking monday! The whole fucking weekend.
338
00:16:14,926 --> 00:16:17,930
Okay, so we just... we'll remain calm, and...
339
00:16:17,930 --> 00:16:20,933
oh my god, why is this happening to me?
340
00:16:21,433 --> 00:16:22,435
Or this is good, too.
341
00:16:31,947 --> 00:16:33,949
Hey, doc.
342
00:16:33,949 --> 00:16:35,450
You got all sweaty without me.
343
00:16:35,952 --> 00:16:37,954
Well, i went for a jog. Yeah.
344
00:16:37,954 --> 00:16:39,956
I know how hard it is to stay in shape after certain age.
345
00:16:39,956 --> 00:16:41,959
Look, i know you wouldn't come all the way out here
346
00:16:41,959 --> 00:16:42,960
Just to insult me
347
00:16:43,460 --> 00:16:45,463
And we're not battling over michael's attention any more,
348
00:16:45,463 --> 00:16:46,965
You won, so...
349
00:16:48,466 --> 00:16:48,967
why are you here?
350
00:16:49,468 --> 00:16:50,970
You forgot to rsvp.
351
00:16:52,471 --> 00:16:53,472
You know, the surprise party.
352
00:16:53,472 --> 00:16:54,975
I called and left a message.
353
00:16:54,975 --> 00:16:56,977
Oh yeah, well i thought that was a joke.
354
00:16:56,977 --> 00:16:58,980
Why would it be a joke?
355
00:16:58,980 --> 00:16:59,981
Look, i don't think michael
356
00:16:59,981 --> 00:17:00,982
Would feel too comfortable
357
00:17:00,982 --> 00:17:02,483
With me being there and, quite frankly,
358
00:17:02,483 --> 00:17:03,986
I don't think i'd feel too comfortable
359
00:17:03,986 --> 00:17:04,987
Being there myself.
360
00:17:05,487 --> 00:17:07,490
Doc, you're always welcome at my place.
361
00:17:07,490 --> 00:17:09,492
Thanks, but no thanks.
362
00:17:09,492 --> 00:17:10,493
Come on.
363
00:17:10,994 --> 00:17:12,496
You're not going to give up that easy, are you?
364
00:17:12,496 --> 00:17:13,998
Hey, i didn't give up.
365
00:17:13,998 --> 00:17:16,000
That was his decision.
366
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,503
Well, mikey doesn't always know what's best for him.
367
00:17:19,004 --> 00:17:21,006
No shit.
368
00:17:21,006 --> 00:17:22,508
Sometimes he needs a little push.
369
00:17:26,013 --> 00:17:28,015
So you'll come by around, uh.
9:00?
370
00:17:34,022 --> 00:17:36,525
I've never been to paris.
371
00:17:36,525 --> 00:17:38,027
I always wanted to see paris.
372
00:17:38,027 --> 00:17:40,530
You'll still get there.
373
00:17:41,031 --> 00:17:43,533
Even if you're positive, it doesn't mean you're going to drop dead tomorrow.
374
00:17:43,533 --> 00:17:46,037
Oh my god, you said it.
375
00:17:46,037 --> 00:17:48,039
You said it, "you're... you're positive".
376
00:17:48,039 --> 00:17:51,043
I said, "even if..." to imply the lack of plausibility.
377
00:17:53,046 --> 00:17:55,048
I think it must have been that guy in p-Town.
378
00:17:55,048 --> 00:17:56,549
He kept biting my lip.
379
00:17:57,551 --> 00:17:59,053
Or maybe that guy in the dressing room,
380
00:17:59,553 --> 00:18:02,057
He kept sticking his fingers in my mouth.
381
00:18:02,057 --> 00:18:03,058
Or some guy at the gym.
382
00:18:03,058 --> 00:18:04,559
I thought you never did anything.
383
00:18:05,060 --> 00:18:06,562
I know guys who fuck a hundred times a week.
384
00:18:07,563 --> 00:18:10,566
Five or six times isn't anything.
385
00:18:10,566 --> 00:18:14,071
Emmett, you can not be infected.
386
00:18:14,071 --> 00:18:16,074
No one in the world is more hiv phobic than you are.
387
00:18:16,074 --> 00:18:18,576
You practically boil the sheets!
388
00:18:18,576 --> 00:18:21,580
Well, that still doesn't explain why they want to see me,
389
00:18:21,580 --> 00:18:22,581
Now does it?
390
00:18:25,585 --> 00:18:28,088
God, how the fuck am i going to get through this weekend?
391
00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,102
Oh, teddy.
392
00:18:40,603 --> 00:18:42,105
I am so scared!
393
00:18:46,610 --> 00:18:47,612
Come on.
394
00:18:55,621 --> 00:18:58,625
Look, maybe you should skip michael's party.
395
00:18:58,625 --> 00:19:00,627
No. No.
396
00:19:00,627 --> 00:19:02,630
I don't want to spoil his day.
397
00:19:03,631 --> 00:19:05,133
Are you sure?
398
00:19:05,133 --> 00:19:06,135
Yeah. Yeah,
399
00:19:06,135 --> 00:19:08,137
It'll take my mind off things.
400
00:19:08,137 --> 00:19:09,138
We just can't tell him.
401
00:19:11,141 --> 00:19:12,642
Okay.
402
00:19:12,642 --> 00:19:13,643
Right, remember.
403
00:19:13,643 --> 00:19:17,648
Story is we're picking up brian to go for dinner
404
00:19:18,149 --> 00:19:19,150
And to babylon. Right.
405
00:19:19,150 --> 00:19:21,153
One last dance of death.
406
00:19:21,153 --> 00:19:22,154
Emmett.
407
00:19:24,657 --> 00:19:25,658
Hey, hey!
408
00:19:26,159 --> 00:19:27,160
Hey, hey, birthday boy.
409
00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,163
Fuck you, i'm going to bed.
410
00:19:29,163 --> 00:19:32,166
You can't! You know, we're... we're, uh, going to pick up brian
411
00:19:32,166 --> 00:19:33,168
To go do dinner and babylon.
412
00:19:33,668 --> 00:19:35,170
I don't want to see anybody.
413
00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:37,172
Now, now, mr. Grumpypuss. We're going to go out.
414
00:19:37,673 --> 00:19:39,675
Don't you want to go out? No, i don't want to go out!
415
00:19:39,675 --> 00:19:42,179
Hey, this is a very special occasion.
416
00:19:42,179 --> 00:19:44,181
You know, once in a lifetime thing, a night of nights.
417
00:19:44,181 --> 00:19:47,185
Yeah, well i plan on sleeping through every miserable minute of it.
418
00:19:47,185 --> 00:19:49,687
You guys can tell me all about it tomorrow.
419
00:19:49,687 --> 00:19:51,690
We need to celebrate.
420
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,692
Celebrate what? That i'm turning into a geezer?
421
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:55,194
That my life is over?
422
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:58,198
Think of all you have to look forward to.
423
00:19:58,198 --> 00:20:01,702
Flatulence, incontinence, uh, chronic constipation,
424
00:20:01,702 --> 00:20:03,204
A closet full of depends...
425
00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,207
oh, for christ sake!
426
00:20:05,207 --> 00:20:06,208
Would you shut up already
427
00:20:06,708 --> 00:20:08,710
And come to your goddamn surprise party?
428
00:20:19,224 --> 00:20:20,225
Surprise.
429
00:20:21,726 --> 00:20:23,229
Hi, we're here. Ready to go to babylon.
430
00:20:25,231 --> 00:20:26,732
Assholes.
431
00:20:28,735 --> 00:20:29,736
You told him.
432
00:20:36,244 --> 00:20:38,247
Surprise!
433
00:20:39,248 --> 00:20:40,249
Oh my god!
434
00:20:42,752 --> 00:20:44,754
Happy birthday, mikey!
435
00:20:45,756 --> 00:20:47,758
Who are all these people?
436
00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:49,760
Well if i invited just your friends
437
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,763
There would be, like, six people here,
438
00:20:51,763 --> 00:20:53,265
I had to open it up to sex partners.
439
00:20:54,767 --> 00:20:56,769
I haven't slept with any of these people.
440
00:20:56,769 --> 00:20:58,271
My sex partners.
441
00:20:58,271 --> 00:20:59,273
Happy birthday, mikey.
442
00:21:03,277 --> 00:21:05,280
Happy birthday, michael.
443
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:07,282
Happy birthday, michael.
444
00:21:07,282 --> 00:21:09,785
Happy birthday, sweetheart.
445
00:21:09,785 --> 00:21:11,787
Happy birthday, michael.
446
00:21:11,787 --> 00:21:13,290
Thanks, uncle vic.
447
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:15,292
Exactly 30 years ago
448
00:21:15,792 --> 00:21:16,793
My legs were in stirrups
449
00:21:16,793 --> 00:21:18,296
And my face looked like this.
450
00:21:23,302 --> 00:21:25,804
Wow, this really is a surprise party.
451
00:21:25,804 --> 00:21:26,806
Hi.
452
00:21:28,308 --> 00:21:29,309
Here.
453
00:21:30,310 --> 00:21:32,313
30, huh? Yeah.
454
00:21:32,313 --> 00:21:33,814
Well, i hope i look as good as you do
455
00:21:33,814 --> 00:21:36,318
When i'm your age.
456
00:21:36,318 --> 00:21:37,319
Happy birthday.
457
00:21:42,825 --> 00:21:44,828
Come on, mikey, you've got presents.
458
00:21:44,828 --> 00:21:45,829
Excuse us.
459
00:21:48,832 --> 00:21:50,835
Margarita, no salt.
460
00:21:50,835 --> 00:21:51,836
Right up.
461
00:21:53,839 --> 00:21:55,841
Hey, how do you know how to mix drinks?
462
00:21:56,342 --> 00:21:57,843
I'm from the gentile country club set.
463
00:22:00,347 --> 00:22:02,349
Okay, everybody, it's time.
464
00:22:02,349 --> 00:22:05,353
Mikey's going to open his presents.
465
00:22:11,860 --> 00:22:12,862
Um...
466
00:22:14,864 --> 00:22:16,867
oh my god!
467
00:22:16,867 --> 00:22:18,869
An easy-Cake oven!
468
00:22:18,869 --> 00:22:20,871
I always wanted one of those.
469
00:22:20,871 --> 00:22:22,374
Aww.
470
00:22:22,374 --> 00:22:25,377
Thanks, em, i love it.
471
00:22:25,878 --> 00:22:26,879
Aww.
472
00:22:26,879 --> 00:22:28,881
Happy birthday.
473
00:22:28,881 --> 00:22:31,385
Uh...
474
00:22:31,385 --> 00:22:32,386
oh, that's mine.
475
00:22:33,387 --> 00:22:34,889
Open it.
476
00:22:41,897 --> 00:22:44,901
You put your dick where the trunk goes.
477
00:22:49,907 --> 00:22:50,908
It's funny.
478
00:22:50,908 --> 00:22:52,410
It is, it's funny.
479
00:22:52,410 --> 00:22:54,413
Moving on.
480
00:22:54,413 --> 00:22:57,416
Okay, honey.
481
00:22:57,416 --> 00:22:59,919
Uh, who's this one from?
482
00:22:59,919 --> 00:23:01,421
Oh, that's... that's from me.
483
00:23:11,434 --> 00:23:12,935
Wow.
484
00:23:12,935 --> 00:23:15,438
This is... this is really...
485
00:23:15,438 --> 00:23:16,940
expensive.
486
00:23:16,940 --> 00:23:18,942
Uh, well i had it inscribed before,
487
00:23:18,942 --> 00:23:22,947
But don't pay attention to the words, just, uh,
488
00:23:22,947 --> 00:23:24,950
Focus on the waterproof features.
489
00:23:28,954 --> 00:23:30,457
Thank you, david.
490
00:23:30,457 --> 00:23:31,458
Sure.
491
00:23:31,458 --> 00:23:32,959
Hey, mikey.
492
00:23:32,959 --> 00:23:33,961
There's someone here to see you.
493
00:23:39,968 --> 00:23:40,969
Hello, michael.
494
00:23:40,969 --> 00:23:41,970
I heard it was your birthday,
495
00:23:41,970 --> 00:23:43,473
So i thought i'd fly by
496
00:23:43,473 --> 00:23:45,475
And bring you something special.
497
00:23:45,475 --> 00:23:48,479
Oh my god, captain astro!
498
00:23:49,980 --> 00:23:51,982
Astro comics number one?
499
00:23:51,982 --> 00:23:55,987
This is the first appearance of captain astro in print.
500
00:23:55,987 --> 00:23:57,490
Do you know how much this is worth?
501
00:23:57,490 --> 00:23:58,491
Anything for my best friend.
502
00:24:00,493 --> 00:24:02,996
I can't believe it.
503
00:24:02,996 --> 00:24:04,498
I never thought i'd find this.
504
00:24:08,002 --> 00:24:10,506
So, cap, don't fly away.
505
00:24:10,506 --> 00:24:13,509
Stay and boogie with the birthday boy.
506
00:24:16,513 --> 00:24:17,514
Enjoy, mikey.
507
00:24:34,535 --> 00:24:37,037
It's a beautiful watch, david.
508
00:24:37,037 --> 00:24:38,039
And a beautiful thought.
509
00:24:39,541 --> 00:24:40,542
Thanks.
510
00:25:27,098 --> 00:25:28,601
Nice going on the gift.
511
00:25:28,601 --> 00:25:30,102
It couldn't have been more perfect.
512
00:25:33,106 --> 00:25:34,107
Thanks.
513
00:25:34,107 --> 00:25:38,112
Yeah, david's present didn't stand a chance.
514
00:25:38,112 --> 00:25:41,116
And then again, neither did he.
515
00:25:41,116 --> 00:25:43,118
Fuck off.
516
00:25:43,118 --> 00:25:45,621
You just can't help yourself, can you?
517
00:25:45,621 --> 00:25:47,624
You have to make sure michael regresses permanently
518
00:25:48,124 --> 00:25:49,125
To the age of 12.
519
00:25:51,128 --> 00:25:53,631
He's 30, for christ sake, brian.
520
00:25:53,631 --> 00:25:55,634
Don't you think it's time you let him go?
521
00:25:57,135 --> 00:25:59,137
Well, i'll tell you what,
522
00:25:59,137 --> 00:26:00,139
I will if you will.
523
00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:01,641
What?
524
00:26:01,641 --> 00:26:05,145
Tell him you've been in love with him.
525
00:26:05,145 --> 00:26:06,647
For years.
526
00:26:07,147 --> 00:26:08,148
What are you talking about?
527
00:26:08,148 --> 00:26:09,150
Don't act so innocent,
528
00:26:09,150 --> 00:26:10,151
You know what i mean.
529
00:26:14,156 --> 00:26:15,157
The boys saw your pictures.
530
00:26:17,661 --> 00:26:20,664
They saw your little shrine to mikey,
531
00:26:20,664 --> 00:26:21,665
When you were in your coma.
532
00:26:25,670 --> 00:26:27,172
Of course, i always knew.
533
00:26:29,675 --> 00:26:30,676
So, as i said...
534
00:26:34,180 --> 00:26:35,683
you let him go and so will i.
535
00:26:38,185 --> 00:26:39,186
Ladies first.
536
00:26:43,191 --> 00:26:45,695
Is this candy or drugs?
537
00:26:45,695 --> 00:26:47,196
Candy.
538
00:26:47,196 --> 00:26:49,198
I think.
539
00:26:49,198 --> 00:26:51,201
You'd think with all the pills i take that i'd know.
540
00:26:54,205 --> 00:26:56,708
So how are you feeling?
541
00:26:57,208 --> 00:26:59,211
Fit as a fiddle and ready for love.
542
00:27:01,213 --> 00:27:02,214
Why do you ask?
543
00:27:19,235 --> 00:27:23,741
Listen, why are you so interested in me all of the sudden?
544
00:27:23,741 --> 00:27:26,244
Oh, i was just wondering.
545
00:27:26,244 --> 00:27:27,245
Bullshit.
546
00:27:27,245 --> 00:27:29,247
You boys never talk to anyone
over 40
547
00:27:29,247 --> 00:27:30,249
Unless you have to.
548
00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:35,255
I think i have it.
549
00:27:38,759 --> 00:27:41,763
"It" doesn't mean what it used to, you know.
550
00:27:41,763 --> 00:27:43,765
That's what they say.
551
00:27:43,765 --> 00:27:45,768
People still die.
552
00:27:45,768 --> 00:27:47,269
All the time.
553
00:27:47,269 --> 00:27:48,772
But they die from other things, too.
554
00:27:50,273 --> 00:27:52,776
You can't think about that.
555
00:27:53,277 --> 00:27:55,279
I just can't believe this is happening to me.
556
00:27:55,279 --> 00:27:57,281
I-I mean, i'm not promiscuous.
557
00:27:57,281 --> 00:27:59,284
Well, let me tell you about promiscuous.
558
00:27:59,284 --> 00:28:03,289
Promiscuous is anyone having more sex than you.
559
00:28:03,790 --> 00:28:05,792
I thought i was being safe.
560
00:28:05,792 --> 00:28:06,794
Careful.
561
00:28:06,794 --> 00:28:08,295
Sex isn't careful.
562
00:28:09,797 --> 00:28:11,299
And if it is, you're doing it wrong.
563
00:28:13,802 --> 00:28:14,803
It's messy.
564
00:28:14,803 --> 00:28:17,306
And it's human.
565
00:28:17,306 --> 00:28:19,809
And it's mixed up with other things,
566
00:28:19,809 --> 00:28:21,812
It's a genie who won't stay in the bottle.
567
00:28:24,816 --> 00:28:26,317
Listen, emmett,
568
00:28:26,818 --> 00:28:29,321
If you think you made a mistake,
569
00:28:29,321 --> 00:28:30,322
Move on.
570
00:28:32,324 --> 00:28:33,826
And accept it like a man.
571
00:29:04,363 --> 00:29:05,866
Hey.
572
00:29:05,866 --> 00:29:06,867
Hi.
573
00:29:28,392 --> 00:29:30,395
30 years ago i was you.
574
00:29:32,898 --> 00:29:34,400
And 30 years from now you'll be me.
575
00:29:35,902 --> 00:29:37,403
30 years.
576
00:29:37,905 --> 00:29:39,907
It seems impossible to believe.
577
00:29:39,907 --> 00:29:42,410
He's a man. But he still feels
578
00:29:42,410 --> 00:29:44,412
As tiny and precious to me
579
00:29:44,412 --> 00:29:47,917
As gus does to you.
580
00:29:47,917 --> 00:29:49,418
I can't even imagine...
581
00:29:49,919 --> 00:29:51,922
goes by like a dream.
582
00:29:52,422 --> 00:29:55,927
So, i guess everybody breastfeeds nowadays, huh?
583
00:29:56,427 --> 00:29:58,930
Yeah, it creates a real bond.
584
00:30:00,933 --> 00:30:02,434
I never did that with michael,
585
00:30:03,936 --> 00:30:05,939
But i'd say we're pretty fucking tight.
586
00:30:05,939 --> 00:30:08,942
Yeah.
587
00:30:08,942 --> 00:30:09,944
Sorry, honey.
588
00:30:09,944 --> 00:30:11,445
You feeling left out?
589
00:30:11,946 --> 00:30:13,447
Me, feel left out?
590
00:30:13,447 --> 00:30:16,451
Not with what it's costing me a month.
591
00:30:16,451 --> 00:30:19,455
You know, they say sometimes the non-Birth mother lactates as well.
592
00:30:21,457 --> 00:30:24,461
If i did, it'd be margaritas.
593
00:30:24,461 --> 00:30:27,464
Put some salt around my nipple and take a sip.
594
00:30:27,464 --> 00:30:28,967
Mel. Come on, hey.
595
00:30:28,967 --> 00:30:30,468
Please, mel.
596
00:30:30,468 --> 00:30:31,970
Oh, i'm sorry.
597
00:30:31,970 --> 00:30:33,973
I'm being inappropriate.
598
00:30:33,973 --> 00:30:35,975
Lindsay's never inappropriate.
599
00:30:35,975 --> 00:30:37,477
Don't mind me, honey.
600
00:30:37,477 --> 00:30:40,480
I wouldn't know from appropriate.
601
00:30:40,981 --> 00:30:43,484
Can i get anyone another drinkie?
602
00:30:43,484 --> 00:30:44,986
Drinkie? No thanks.
603
00:30:44,986 --> 00:30:45,988
And i don't think you should have one either.
604
00:30:45,988 --> 00:30:47,489
Hey, i'm not breast-Feeding,
605
00:30:47,489 --> 00:30:48,490
Ain't my problem.
606
00:30:56,000 --> 00:30:57,501
Hey, em.
607
00:31:09,016 --> 00:31:10,517
Oh, yeah!
608
00:31:55,072 --> 00:32:00,078
Please, god, please let me be negative.
609
00:32:00,078 --> 00:32:05,584
If you do, i promise, promise, promise...
610
00:32:05,584 --> 00:32:07,587
is somebody in there?
611
00:32:22,105 --> 00:32:23,106
Hello?
612
00:32:27,611 --> 00:32:28,612
Come on up,
613
00:32:30,114 --> 00:32:32,117
And get your cock out.
614
00:32:51,140 --> 00:32:53,143
Hey, teddy.
615
00:32:53,643 --> 00:32:55,645
Thanks again for the elephant underwear.
616
00:32:55,645 --> 00:32:56,646
They're really funny.
617
00:32:56,646 --> 00:32:58,149
Yeah, right.
618
00:32:58,149 --> 00:32:59,650
No, really.
619
00:33:01,152 --> 00:33:03,655
I bet you weren't expecting to see david here, huh?
620
00:33:04,156 --> 00:33:06,659
Yeah, talk about surprises.
621
00:33:06,659 --> 00:33:11,665
So, uh, do you think you two might, uh, you know?
622
00:33:11,665 --> 00:33:13,167
I don't... i don't think so.
623
00:33:16,671 --> 00:33:17,672
That's too bad.
624
00:33:19,174 --> 00:33:21,177
Say, listen...
625
00:33:21,177 --> 00:33:24,180
i know there's this part of us
626
00:33:24,180 --> 00:33:27,684
That thinks we don't deserve to be loved.
627
00:33:27,684 --> 00:33:28,685
What are you talking about?
628
00:33:28,685 --> 00:33:30,688
L-L-Let me finish.
629
00:33:31,189 --> 00:33:34,693
So, we fall in love with someone
630
00:33:34,693 --> 00:33:36,695
We know we can't have
631
00:33:37,196 --> 00:33:38,698
And who's never going to love us.
632
00:33:40,700 --> 00:33:44,205
And we fantasize...
633
00:33:47,208 --> 00:33:49,211
about the day when, uh,
634
00:33:49,211 --> 00:33:51,213
All of a sudden that he realizes
635
00:33:51,213 --> 00:33:52,715
And sees everything he's been missing,
636
00:33:54,717 --> 00:33:55,718
You know, and... and...
637
00:33:55,718 --> 00:33:57,221
all our dreams come true,
638
00:33:57,221 --> 00:33:59,223
Only, uh,
639
00:33:59,223 --> 00:34:00,724
You know that day never comes
640
00:34:00,724 --> 00:34:02,227
And before you know it
641
00:34:02,227 --> 00:34:05,230
It's your 40th birthday, it's your 50th birthday
642
00:34:05,730 --> 00:34:08,734
And... and you're still alone.
643
00:34:13,740 --> 00:34:16,244
Don't let that happen to you, michael.
644
00:34:18,746 --> 00:34:20,249
Love someone for real.
645
00:34:24,754 --> 00:34:26,756
Someone who loves you.
646
00:34:35,267 --> 00:34:36,268
Oh, my god.
647
00:34:40,273 --> 00:34:42,276
Tracy, what are you doing here?
648
00:34:42,276 --> 00:34:45,279
Happy birthday, mike!
649
00:34:45,279 --> 00:34:47,282
Thanks, uh, it's really wild. I...
650
00:34:47,282 --> 00:34:49,284
they're all a little drunk.
651
00:34:49,284 --> 00:34:52,288
I don't real... i only know six of them.
652
00:34:52,288 --> 00:34:53,289
Your friend brian called.
653
00:34:53,289 --> 00:34:54,790
He asked me to come.
654
00:34:54,790 --> 00:34:56,293
What?
655
00:34:56,293 --> 00:34:58,795
Look, uh, are you hungry?
656
00:34:58,795 --> 00:35:01,299
'Cause there's this, um, burger place right near here we could...
657
00:35:01,299 --> 00:35:04,802
Tracy. I am so happy that you could make it
658
00:35:05,304 --> 00:35:06,805
To michael's surprise party.
659
00:35:09,809 --> 00:35:11,811
Let me introduce you to a few of our guests.
660
00:35:13,313 --> 00:35:15,316
Brian!
661
00:35:15,316 --> 00:35:16,317
David.
662
00:35:18,319 --> 00:35:19,321
David, this is tracy.
663
00:35:19,321 --> 00:35:20,322
Tracy, this is david.
664
00:35:20,322 --> 00:35:21,823
Tracy, yeah, we met.
665
00:35:21,823 --> 00:35:23,826
Right, you're mike's chiropractor.
666
00:35:23,826 --> 00:35:24,827
Right.
667
00:35:24,827 --> 00:35:26,829
He's also his boyfriend.
668
00:35:29,833 --> 00:35:30,834
Oh, excuse me.
669
00:35:30,834 --> 00:35:31,835
Ex-Boyfriend.
670
00:35:33,838 --> 00:35:35,840
The first time they fucked,
671
00:35:35,840 --> 00:35:37,843
Michael came, like, three times.
672
00:35:47,855 --> 00:35:48,856
Mike.
673
00:35:50,859 --> 00:35:52,861
Why don't you buy your friend tracy a drink?
674
00:35:52,861 --> 00:35:54,363
Looks like she could use one.
675
00:36:01,872 --> 00:36:03,874
Don't go yet, mikey, you haven't even had your cake.
676
00:36:03,874 --> 00:36:04,876
Fuck off!
677
00:36:11,884 --> 00:36:12,885
Tracy!
678
00:36:17,391 --> 00:36:18,393
It's true.
679
00:36:20,895 --> 00:36:22,898
David was my boyfriend.
680
00:36:32,410 --> 00:36:33,911
Do you laugh at me?
681
00:36:35,413 --> 00:36:36,415
You and your friends?
682
00:36:36,415 --> 00:36:37,916
The boys, do you laugh at me?
683
00:36:37,916 --> 00:36:39,918
No. No.
684
00:36:39,918 --> 00:36:41,921
I must be a big joke to you, huh?
685
00:36:43,423 --> 00:36:45,926
The girl at work, the one who has the crush.
686
00:36:46,427 --> 00:36:48,429
She's so funny because she's so stupid.
687
00:36:48,429 --> 00:36:49,931
It's not like that!
688
00:36:49,931 --> 00:36:50,932
I swear.
689
00:36:50,932 --> 00:36:53,435
You're a liar, mike.
690
00:36:53,935 --> 00:36:54,437
A liar.
691
00:37:14,961 --> 00:37:16,463
Hey!
692
00:37:16,463 --> 00:37:17,465
Look what i had cooked up
693
00:37:17,465 --> 00:37:18,966
For this special occasion.
694
00:37:20,468 --> 00:37:22,471
I'd like to get out of here, how about you?
695
00:37:22,471 --> 00:37:23,472
Yeah.
696
00:37:24,473 --> 00:37:25,474
Don't forget this.
697
00:37:27,977 --> 00:37:30,481
I don't want it.
698
00:37:30,981 --> 00:37:31,982
Thanks for the party.
699
00:37:36,988 --> 00:37:37,989
Well, brian,
700
00:37:37,989 --> 00:37:40,993
You really know how to throw a birthday bash.
701
00:37:40,993 --> 00:37:43,496
Too bad all good things must come to an end.
702
00:37:45,999 --> 00:37:47,501
Well, well, well.
703
00:37:48,001 --> 00:37:49,003
Is anyone surprised?
704
00:37:49,504 --> 00:37:51,005
That's the way he treats people.
705
00:37:51,005 --> 00:37:52,507
Am i right?
706
00:37:53,007 --> 00:37:54,510
I mean, is there anyone here tonight
707
00:37:54,510 --> 00:37:58,515
That hasn't been fucked by brian kinney?
708
00:37:58,515 --> 00:38:01,518
One way or another?
709
00:38:01,518 --> 00:38:04,021
Well, what do you know?
710
00:38:04,021 --> 00:38:06,023
Now michael has been, too.
711
00:38:08,026 --> 00:38:09,528
So you finally gave him what he wanted.
712
00:38:12,031 --> 00:38:13,032
Good for you.
713
00:38:19,039 --> 00:38:21,543
How could you have done that to him, brian?
714
00:38:21,543 --> 00:38:23,044
Your best friend in the whole world.
715
00:38:34,058 --> 00:38:35,560
Well?
716
00:38:37,061 --> 00:38:39,064
Aren't you going to make your big exit too?
717
00:38:39,565 --> 00:38:40,065
No.
718
00:38:42,568 --> 00:38:45,071
You're going to need someone to help you clean up this mess.
719
00:38:57,086 --> 00:38:59,088
Uh, come in, take off your things,
720
00:38:59,088 --> 00:39:01,090
Your coat and relax.
721
00:39:04,094 --> 00:39:05,596
Thanks.
722
00:39:05,596 --> 00:39:07,599
Would you like a drink?
723
00:39:08,099 --> 00:39:10,603
No, i think i've had enough.
724
00:39:12,104 --> 00:39:13,606
That was some party, huh?
725
00:39:13,606 --> 00:39:15,609
It had its moments.
726
00:39:15,609 --> 00:39:17,110
Like when you punched him.
727
00:39:19,112 --> 00:39:20,114
He deserved it.
728
00:39:21,115 --> 00:39:23,117
He deserved worse.
729
00:39:23,117 --> 00:39:25,621
I-I just don't want to talk about it right now.
730
00:39:30,126 --> 00:39:31,628
I missed you.
731
00:39:31,628 --> 00:39:33,130
Have you?
732
00:39:33,631 --> 00:39:34,131
Yeah, i have.
733
00:39:48,649 --> 00:39:51,151
I-I'm not sure what's happening here right now.
734
00:39:56,659 --> 00:39:58,661
I want to take you up on your offer,
735
00:39:58,661 --> 00:39:59,662
To live together.
736
00:40:01,164 --> 00:40:02,666
I want to give it a shot.
737
00:40:06,170 --> 00:40:07,672
I'm not a consolation prize.
738
00:40:12,177 --> 00:40:13,178
I know that.
739
00:40:16,683 --> 00:40:17,684
You're first prize.
740
00:40:19,186 --> 00:40:19,687
You're sure?
741
00:40:21,188 --> 00:40:22,189
I'm 30.
742
00:40:25,193 --> 00:40:28,197
It's time i settled down and...
743
00:40:28,197 --> 00:40:30,199
Took on some responsibility. Oh, oh, unh-Unh.
744
00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:32,703
Now you're making me sound like life insurance.
745
00:40:35,205 --> 00:40:37,208
Well, in a way you are.
746
00:40:41,212 --> 00:40:42,214
Do you still love me?
747
00:40:46,219 --> 00:40:47,220
Because...
748
00:40:49,723 --> 00:40:50,223
i love you.
749
00:40:54,729 --> 00:40:55,731
Come.
750
00:41:18,258 --> 00:41:19,760
He asked me to pick up the stuff he left.
751
00:41:30,773 --> 00:41:32,275
Hey, sunshine!
752
00:41:32,776 --> 00:41:34,277
You got some tables to bus.
753
00:41:37,281 --> 00:41:39,283
I don't feel sick.
754
00:41:39,784 --> 00:41:41,787
Margaritas are definitely my drink.
755
00:41:41,787 --> 00:41:42,788
Get up.
756
00:42:00,309 --> 00:42:01,811
You want some coffee?
757
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:02,812
No thanks.
758
00:42:07,819 --> 00:42:09,821
Christ, i was pissed at you last night.
759
00:42:10,822 --> 00:42:12,825
Everybody was... is.
760
00:42:15,327 --> 00:42:18,331
But right in the middle of my cussing you out,
761
00:42:18,331 --> 00:42:20,834
I finally figured it out.
762
00:42:23,337 --> 00:42:25,841
You can't do anything quietly, can you?
763
00:42:26,842 --> 00:42:29,845
Everything's gotta be a spectacle, a drama.
764
00:42:31,848 --> 00:42:32,348
You couldn't have pushed him...
765
00:42:34,851 --> 00:42:35,853
softly.
766
00:42:37,354 --> 00:42:40,358
You had to shove him off a fucking cliff.
767
00:42:40,358 --> 00:42:41,359
Yeah, i had to. Otherwise he would have
768
00:42:41,860 --> 00:42:43,862
Just followed me around forever.
769
00:42:48,869 --> 00:42:49,870
Yeah, i guess he would have.
770
00:42:55,376 --> 00:42:56,878
Justin!
771
00:42:56,878 --> 00:42:57,880
I'm brushing my teeth.
772
00:43:00,382 --> 00:43:01,884
You loaned him your toothbrush?
773
00:43:01,884 --> 00:43:03,386
I have a supply.
774
00:43:03,887 --> 00:43:04,387
Oh.
775
00:43:06,891 --> 00:43:07,892
It was the only way.
776
00:43:09,894 --> 00:43:11,897
This david...
777
00:43:11,897 --> 00:43:12,898
he's good for him.
778
00:43:13,398 --> 00:43:14,399
Yeah, that won't last.
779
00:43:16,402 --> 00:43:17,403
Maybe not.
780
00:43:19,405 --> 00:43:21,909
But he should at least give it a try.
781
00:43:21,909 --> 00:43:22,910
So, how's he doing?
782
00:43:24,411 --> 00:43:26,915
Trying to figure out why his best friend would betray him.
783
00:43:28,917 --> 00:43:30,419
Of course, he doesn't realize
784
00:43:30,419 --> 00:43:34,424
That it's the best thing that could ever happen,
785
00:43:34,424 --> 00:43:36,426
That you did him a favour.
786
00:43:36,426 --> 00:43:40,932
That maybe now he can finally have a chance to have a life.
787
00:43:42,433 --> 00:43:43,435
Okay,
788
00:43:43,435 --> 00:43:44,937
I'm ready to go.
789
00:44:02,959 --> 00:44:03,960
You take care, kiddo.
790
00:44:09,967 --> 00:44:11,970
Thank you.
791
00:44:45,010 --> 00:44:46,011
Well, hello, early birds.
792
00:44:47,513 --> 00:44:49,015
Hi. Can we skip the chit-Chat?
793
00:44:49,515 --> 00:44:50,016
We've been here for an hour.
794
00:44:50,516 --> 00:44:52,519
Hour and a half.
795
00:44:52,519 --> 00:44:55,022
Just, uh, just give it to me straight.
796
00:44:55,022 --> 00:44:57,025
Oh, the... the message i left for you on friday.
797
00:44:57,025 --> 00:44:58,026
Yeah.
798
00:44:58,026 --> 00:45:00,529
Well, um, here's the situation.
799
00:45:00,529 --> 00:45:02,031
Okay, spare me the, you know,
800
00:45:02,531 --> 00:45:04,533
The "warm him up, let him down easy" speech.
801
00:45:04,533 --> 00:45:06,536
Just... just tell me.
802
00:45:06,536 --> 00:45:08,038
Your cheque bounced.
803
00:45:09,039 --> 00:45:10,041
What?
804
00:45:10,541 --> 00:45:11,542
Your cheque bounced.
805
00:45:11,542 --> 00:45:14,046
Insufficient funds.
806
00:45:14,046 --> 00:45:16,048
Perfect. How much?
807
00:45:16,048 --> 00:45:17,049
60.
808
00:45:18,550 --> 00:45:20,053
Here. You're paying me back.
809
00:45:20,053 --> 00:45:21,554
Okay, who gives a shit about 60 bucks?
810
00:45:21,554 --> 00:45:22,555
I'll leave it to you in my will.
811
00:45:22,555 --> 00:45:25,559
Um, can i have my test results, please?
812
00:45:25,559 --> 00:45:26,560
You're fine.
813
00:45:28,563 --> 00:45:29,564
Congratulations.
814
00:45:34,070 --> 00:45:35,071
Oh, my god!
815
00:45:35,571 --> 00:45:36,072
I told you.
816
00:45:38,075 --> 00:45:41,579
So, uh, how'd you like to celebrate?
817
00:45:47,086 --> 00:45:49,588
Uh, you know what, i'm sorry i can't.
818
00:45:49,588 --> 00:45:50,590
I'm, uh, i'm busy.
819
00:45:52,592 --> 00:45:54,594
Okay.
820
00:45:55,096 --> 00:45:58,599
Well, uh, i'll see you around, guys.
821
00:45:58,599 --> 00:45:59,601
Have a nice day.
822
00:46:05,608 --> 00:46:07,610
He's cute.
823
00:46:07,610 --> 00:46:09,113
If you don't want him, i'll take him.
824
00:46:11,115 --> 00:46:12,616
You can have him.
825
00:46:13,117 --> 00:46:16,121
I made a promise to god.
826
00:46:16,121 --> 00:46:18,624
A promise to god? What promise to god?
827
00:46:18,624 --> 00:46:23,130
I prayed and, uh, and told god that if i were negative,
828
00:46:23,630 --> 00:46:26,633
I would never have sex with another man.
829
00:46:26,633 --> 00:46:29,137
And i'm negative. So...
830
00:46:29,137 --> 00:46:31,139
i can never touch a man again.
831
00:46:38,148 --> 00:46:39,149
Uh-Huh.
832
00:46:39,199 --> 00:46:43,749
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