Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,294 --> 00:00:03,961
Dee.
Dee. Dee. Dee.
2
00:00:04,046 --> 00:00:05,963
Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee.
Sweet Dee. Hey!
3
00:00:06,048 --> 00:00:07,757
Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee.
Sweet Dee. Sweet Dee.
4
00:00:07,883 --> 00:00:09,300
What?
Hey.
5
00:00:09,426 --> 00:00:11,135
Hey- Oh-
What the hell is this?
6
00:00:11,220 --> 00:00:12,804
Oh, yeah.
7
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,139
- Uh-oh.
- And so it begins.
8
00:00:15,224 --> 00:00:17,433
- Mmm. - What are you talking about?
I got a cat. So what?
9
00:00:17,559 --> 00:00:21,979
Congratulations, Dee. You've begun your
transformation into crazy cat lady.
10
00:00:22,064 --> 00:00:24,482
I didn't begin a transformation.
I just- I just got a cat...
11
00:00:24,566 --> 00:00:26,484
'cause I wanted
something to hang out with.
12
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,820
I don't have, you know,
a roommate or anything,
13
00:00:28,904 --> 00:00:31,197
and I don't really have
anyone to talk to, so I...
14
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:33,700
If you listen to yourself, you would realize
you're only strengthening our argument.
15
00:00:33,826 --> 00:00:35,868
What do you want?
We need a big bowl for popcorn.
16
00:00:35,953 --> 00:00:37,787
- Yeah!
- Mac and Dennis movie night!
17
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:39,747
Whoosh!
Tuesday night's movie night!
18
00:00:39,832 --> 00:00:41,332
We're doing Predator again.
19
00:00:41,417 --> 00:00:43,167
You guys don't have a bowl?
Um...
20
00:00:43,293 --> 00:00:47,130
We don't have a big one, no.
Not a big enough one for what we need, Dee.
21
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,006
All right!
Be careful! Come on!
22
00:00:49,133 --> 00:00:50,550
These cups suck.
You serious?
23
00:00:50,634 --> 00:00:52,135
Yeah. Oh!
Bingo.
24
00:00:52,219 --> 00:00:53,678
Yeah, you found it.
Nice.
25
00:00:53,762 --> 00:00:56,723
Why did you guys have to both
come over here to get one bowl?
26
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,350
It's more fun if we both come.
I was gonna hold the bowl.
27
00:00:59,476 --> 00:01:02,145
Dennis was gonna stand next to me and
make snide comments. Yeah. That's right.
28
00:01:02,271 --> 00:01:04,063
Oh, you look like a bird.
That's one. Uh- Old.
29
00:01:04,189 --> 00:01:06,649
Pick a new one. You got a new one?
It's an oldie but goodie.
30
00:01:06,734 --> 00:01:08,943
- He comes up with good ones.
- Yeah, no. That was a good one.
31
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:12,071
I don't understand why you can't make snide
remarks and hold a bowl at the same time though.
32
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:14,657
It doesn't make sense. You're fixating
too much on the bowl aspect of it.
33
00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,784
Put it this way. If the two
of us didn't come together,
34
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:18,995
what if one of us were
to get into a jam? Mmm.
35
00:01:19,079 --> 00:01:20,580
Be silly not to have
the other one there.
36
00:01:20,706 --> 00:01:22,999
Silly? Dennis, that sounds
downright dangerous. Yeah.
37
00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:26,836
See, you'll never get out of a jam because
you got no friends. Well, you're a spinster.
38
00:01:26,962 --> 00:01:28,045
Mm-hmm.
A lonely spinster.
39
00:01:28,130 --> 00:01:29,756
With a cat.
40
00:01:29,882 --> 00:01:31,716
Those are all funny.
41
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:34,469
It's funny 'cause I feel like you
guys are two codependent losers...
42
00:01:34,553 --> 00:01:36,053
who are so wrapped up
in each other...
43
00:01:36,138 --> 00:01:38,264
that it's hard for you to see
how pathetic your lives are.
44
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,807
It's like you're
an old married couple.
45
00:01:39,892 --> 00:01:42,310
No, Dee.
We're more like a dynamic duo.
46
00:01:42,394 --> 00:01:44,395
So you don't think that
two 30-year-old men...
47
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:47,982
who spend every waking moment
together is a little bit pathetic?
48
00:01:48,066 --> 00:01:49,901
Well, we don't spend every
waking moment together.
49
00:01:49,985 --> 00:01:51,778
- What are you, crazy?
- You're right. I'm sorry.
50
00:01:51,862 --> 00:01:54,947
When was the last time you went more
than an hour without seeing each other?
51
00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:56,908
All the time.
Every day.
52
00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:59,744
- Okay. Without checking in?
- Ch- Checking. That's...
53
00:01:59,870 --> 00:02:01,329
Uh-huh.
He always checks in with me.
54
00:02:01,455 --> 00:02:03,873
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He likes to have
me check in, but it's not like...
55
00:02:03,957 --> 00:02:06,250
Okay.
Enjoy that movie, boners.
56
00:02:08,504 --> 00:02:10,671
She doesn't know anything
about friendship, dude.
57
00:02:10,756 --> 00:02:12,757
No. How could she?
She doesn't have any friends.
58
00:02:12,841 --> 00:02:15,259
"Old married couple."
That's what she called...
59
00:02:59,513 --> 00:03:02,265
- Hey-oh.
- Yo, where you been?
60
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,892
What do you mean?
I was getting the movie.
61
00:03:04,977 --> 00:03:06,769
Yeah, but you weren't answering
any of my calls.
62
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:09,230
I've been calling you...
sort of over and over again.
63
00:03:09,314 --> 00:03:11,440
I was having a conversation
with the video store clerk.
64
00:03:11,525 --> 00:03:14,902
Yeah, but I texted you 911, dude.
That means it's an emergency.
65
00:03:15,028 --> 00:03:16,946
Yeah, I saw that.
Yeah.
66
00:03:17,072 --> 00:03:19,657
Uh, what was the emergency, Mac?
Well, I couldn't get in touch with you, dude.
67
00:03:19,783 --> 00:03:21,993
I almost called the police.
The police?
68
00:03:22,077 --> 00:03:23,703
I mean, that's
a bit of an overreaction.
69
00:03:23,829 --> 00:03:27,540
I was gone for what, an hour?
Yeah, but I thought we had a deal.
70
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,667
You know, you would check in
every once in a while,
71
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:32,128
and then that way I would know
that you were okay.
72
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:33,838
Okay. I- I'm okay.
73
00:03:33,922 --> 00:03:35,548
Uh, I'm sorry.
Can we watch the movie?
74
00:03:35,674 --> 00:03:37,592
Yeah. Great. Sure.
Yeah.
75
00:03:37,676 --> 00:03:40,177
The Transporter 2?
76
00:03:40,262 --> 00:03:42,305
Yeah, I-
Look, man. I-I-I...
77
00:03:42,389 --> 00:03:44,015
I know you wanted
to see Predator again,
78
00:03:44,099 --> 00:03:46,893
but I feel like we've seen that 30
times in the last two months...
79
00:03:46,977 --> 00:03:48,686
and thought maybe
we could mix things up.
80
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:51,147
Video store clerk guy said
this movie's awesome, so...
81
00:03:51,231 --> 00:03:54,567
The video store... clerk guy.
I feel like you won't...
82
00:03:54,651 --> 00:03:56,319
stop talking about him.
83
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:59,155
Huh. I asked him for a movie
recommendation, okay?
84
00:03:59,281 --> 00:04:01,866
Yeah. And you got one.
It's really not that big of a deal.
85
00:04:01,950 --> 00:04:05,703
Well, the big deal, Dennis, is that I wasn't
even consulted on the decision. Okay?
86
00:04:05,787 --> 00:04:08,247
And this is a big deal to me as well.
It's also my night.
87
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:10,708
Plus, Transporter 2?
We haven't seen Transporter 1,
88
00:04:10,792 --> 00:04:12,460
which means
we'll be completely lost.
89
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:14,503
I doubt it.
Plus Jason Statham's physique...
90
00:04:14,588 --> 00:04:16,255
is nothing like the lineup
in Predator.
91
00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:18,841
Okay, stop. I don't want
to have conversations anymore...
92
00:04:18,926 --> 00:04:20,551
about dudes' physiques,
and whether they can...
93
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,470
Dennis, in body mass alone...
94
00:04:22,554 --> 00:04:24,972
That's what I was trying to avoid-
a conversation about body mass, okay?
95
00:04:25,057 --> 00:04:27,391
We've had that conversation
five times a day for the last month...
96
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:30,019
because we keep watching Predator,
and all you talk about is Weathers...
97
00:04:30,103 --> 00:04:33,064
and-and-and Jesse "the Body" Ventura
and how many pounds they can pack on.
98
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:36,275
It's important to pack on mass.
You're talking about carbo-loading.
99
00:04:36,360 --> 00:04:38,110
I don't want to have this
conversation with you anymore.
100
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:41,197
No. You'd rather have conversations
with video store clerks.
101
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:44,116
You know what, man? If you don't want to
watch the movie with me, that's fine.
102
00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:46,327
I will watch it by myself.
Goddamn it!
103
00:04:46,411 --> 00:04:48,996
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Where is this coming from?
104
00:04:51,041 --> 00:04:55,044
I have been thinking a lot about
what Dee said, and I do think...
105
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:59,215
maybe we are spending a
little bit too much time together.
106
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,384
Wh-What are you saying?
107
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:05,471
I'm saying that I feel like we're
in a little bit of a rut, and...
108
00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:09,141
I feel like I'm not...
109
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,228
flourishing.
110
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:18,275
Well, far
be it from me to, uh,
111
00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,404
keep the flower of you
from flourishing, but, uh,
112
00:05:21,530 --> 00:05:24,365
I guess I'll grab my shit and
stay at Charlie's. Wait.
113
00:05:26,034 --> 00:05:27,702
Don't do that.
114
00:05:27,786 --> 00:05:31,664
I... feel like I'm the
one that got us into this mess.
115
00:05:31,790 --> 00:05:35,001
Okay. So you'll stay
at Charlie's then. No.
116
00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:38,254
You should stay there...
117
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:39,964
because you already said
that you would.
118
00:05:40,048 --> 00:05:41,716
Also, I have more stuff.
119
00:05:41,800 --> 00:05:44,885
It'll take me longer to
pack, and it'll be easier.
120
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:54,937
Hi. I'm responding to a
missing persons report.
121
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,944
I'll pack my things.
122
00:06:03,655 --> 00:06:07,241
Hey!
123
00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:10,661
Hey-oh!
124
00:06:10,746 --> 00:06:12,621
What's the matter with you?
What are you doing here?
125
00:06:12,706 --> 00:06:15,124
- I came to hang out with you.
- I thought it was movie night.
126
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:18,419
Yeah, it is movie night. But, uh, Mac and
I are taking a little bit of a break.
127
00:06:18,503 --> 00:06:20,004
I was thinking about
what you were saying.
128
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,881
You were right.
I wasn't spending enough time by myself.
129
00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,341
I wasn't being an independent individual.
I wasn't flourishing.
130
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:26,010
So let's watch the movie
together, you and me.
131
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,846
I'm kind of in the middle
of something with my cat right now.
132
00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:32,808
Oh. Okay. Well, yeah. I like cats.
Let's bring him into the mix.
133
00:06:32,893 --> 00:06:36,937
Uh, can't do that.
He is... in the wall somewhere.
134
00:06:37,022 --> 00:06:39,607
- He's in the wall? - Yeah.
I think he got into the wall.
135
00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,317
Wow. Well, that's a bummer.
136
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,027
But I'm sure he'll come out
at some point.
137
00:06:43,111 --> 00:06:44,987
Got himself in there.
I'm sure he'll get himself out.
138
00:06:45,072 --> 00:06:48,324
Or he won't, and he'll die in there, and
you'll have a dead cat smell for a while.
139
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,534
But listen, I'm gonna help you
out of that jam.
140
00:06:50,619 --> 00:06:53,454
Open the windows and get some
scented candles going,
141
00:06:53,538 --> 00:06:55,206
maybe get a big fan in here...
142
00:06:55,290 --> 00:06:58,459
and then he'll decompose
and everything will be fine.
143
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:02,296
Boom! That's what it's like to have a sidekick.
Helped you out of a jam.
144
00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:06,884
In the meantime, let's watch the movie.
I want to- I want to...
145
00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:09,887
Just want to watch a movie...
with you.
146
00:07:09,971 --> 00:07:11,972
Could we do that?
147
00:07:15,477 --> 00:07:18,395
Why don't you just put your
trash into a trash can?
148
00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:22,191
I put it in the trash can when I'm
ready to take it outside, dude.
149
00:07:22,275 --> 00:07:24,902
Yeah, but you could skip a step
by first putting it into the can.
150
00:07:24,986 --> 00:07:26,695
And you can
shut the hell up, man.
151
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:29,949
Okay. And Jesus Christ, Frank.
Are you cutting your toenails with a steak knife?
152
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:31,575
I suppose you have a problem
with that too?
153
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:36,080
Ah! Oh! Oh! Botched toe!
I botched that one.
154
00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:38,541
Oh, that's a botch job.
That's bleeding.
155
00:07:38,625 --> 00:07:40,543
I need some trash
to plug up the cut.
156
00:07:40,627 --> 00:07:42,461
Do not plug an open wound
with trash.
157
00:07:42,546 --> 00:07:45,297
- Well, it's bleeding like a sieve.
- Then use your sock, bro.
158
00:07:45,423 --> 00:07:47,258
Don't waste a good sock on
a tiny little cut. Sock.
159
00:07:47,384 --> 00:07:49,593
I'll find you a candy wrapper
if you give me a second. Oh.
160
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:52,513
Oh. Oh, wait a minute.
161
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:55,224
That's- That's working.
Oh, it's acting like a cut glove.
162
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,768
Ah! Unbelievable, dude.
Waste of a sock.
163
00:07:57,853 --> 00:08:01,313
There are so many things that are gonna
need to change now that I'm living here.
164
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:03,023
Are you hearing this shit, bro?
165
00:08:03,150 --> 00:08:04,984
Well, you know, he's got
some good ideas. What?
166
00:08:05,068 --> 00:08:08,320
- Maybe it wouldn't be bad if he moved in.
- Are you serious, dude?
167
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:10,447
I could use a little structure
in my life here. No, man.
168
00:08:10,574 --> 00:08:12,908
Look at all the trash all over the place.
Oh, I love the trash.
169
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:14,535
He's cleaning up the trash.
Mmm...
170
00:08:14,619 --> 00:08:16,162
I don't
want struc-
171
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:17,913
Uh- Eh-
Is that Dennis?
172
00:08:17,998 --> 00:08:20,374
I don't know who it is.
I haven't answered the phone.
173
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,293
Are you gonna answer it though, because- Okay.
Unbelievable, dude.
174
00:08:22,377 --> 00:08:26,130
- I'm just gonna get it. Hello?
- Hey, buddy. How you doing?
175
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:29,175
Oh, Mac is being annoying as shit.
That him?
176
00:08:29,259 --> 00:08:31,719
Oh, Mac's being annoying?
That's a big surprise.
177
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:34,221
He bossing you around a whole bunch?
Totally bossing me around.
178
00:08:34,306 --> 00:08:38,392
Yeah. Typical. It's what he does.
It's what he does.
179
00:08:38,476 --> 00:08:40,936
- Did he mention me?
- No.
180
00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:44,398
No? Really? He didn't say
anything at all about me or...
181
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:46,692
What is this, dude?
Did you call me just to talk about Mac?
182
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:49,570
Okay, 'cause I don't want to talk about Mac with you.
Is he talking about me?
183
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:53,032
-No, no, no, no. Tell him I'm not talking about him at all.
-I'm not telling him shit, dude.
184
00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:55,117
I'm gonna hang up the phone on you.
No, no, Charlie.
185
00:08:55,202 --> 00:08:58,162
Don't hang up the phone. I didn't call
to talk about Mac. I swear to God, dude.
186
00:08:58,246 --> 00:09:00,623
Please. Come on. I could care less about that guy.
Are you kidding me?
187
00:09:00,749 --> 00:09:03,918
Called to talk to you. Wanted to see if you
wanted to come over to Dee's apartment.
188
00:09:04,002 --> 00:09:05,794
- We're doing a movie night.
- Charlie, hang up the phone.
189
00:09:05,921 --> 00:09:07,963
Oh, my God, dude. I'll be right over.
Hang up the phone.
190
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:10,007
Yes! Yeah! Yes!
191
00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:13,510
Yes. Yeah.
192
00:09:13,595 --> 00:09:15,596
Hey, Dee.
Charlie's coming over.
193
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,473
I don't care.
194
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,267
Ah, shit.
I don't care either.
195
00:09:23,730 --> 00:09:26,232
I am so excited to watch
this movie without Mac.
196
00:09:26,316 --> 00:09:29,818
He is so annoying. He's always constantly
critiquing the fight scenes...
197
00:09:29,903 --> 00:09:31,862
and talking about how he could
choreograph the fight scenes...
198
00:09:31,947 --> 00:09:33,697
so much better than they could,
which is ridiculous.
199
00:09:33,782 --> 00:09:36,700
- He doesn't know shit.
- Ooh! Dennis, I pinpointed him.
200
00:09:36,785 --> 00:09:38,953
Dee, will you forget the
goddamn cat for a second...
201
00:09:39,037 --> 00:09:41,080
and listen to all the interesting
things I have to say?
202
00:09:41,164 --> 00:09:42,873
You're being the worst
sidekick right now.
203
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,708
No, you're being the worst sidekick.
204
00:09:44,793 --> 00:09:47,169
I thought sidekicks were supposed
to help each other out of jams.
205
00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,046
What? I did
help you out of the jam.
206
00:09:49,130 --> 00:09:51,215
I told you what to do with
your dead, stinking cat.
207
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:53,050
No, no, no, no, no.
Come on.
208
00:09:53,134 --> 00:09:56,136
Oh! I lost him. I lost him, Dennis.
Thanks a lot.
209
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:59,306
Oh, do me a favor.
Peel this apple for me, please?
210
00:09:59,391 --> 00:10:02,726
No! No, I'm not
gonna peel an apple for you.
211
00:10:02,811 --> 00:10:04,520
But Mac always does it for me.
212
00:10:04,604 --> 00:10:06,188
Why does Mac
peel your apples for you?
213
00:10:06,273 --> 00:10:09,066
He doesn't like for me to eat
the apples with the skin on it.
214
00:10:09,150 --> 00:10:10,609
He says the skin's
loaded with toxins.
215
00:10:10,694 --> 00:10:12,152
Okay. Well, good news.
Mac's not here.
216
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:15,072
I know he's not here, and that's
why I need you to do it for me.
217
00:10:15,156 --> 00:10:17,866
- Please? Please? - Oh, Jesus.
Just eat it with the skin on it.
218
00:10:17,951 --> 00:10:21,078
I do not like it with the skin, Dee!
I'm not allowed to eat it with the skin!
219
00:10:21,162 --> 00:10:22,788
- I'm not allowed!
- Oh, my God!
220
00:10:22,872 --> 00:10:24,540
All right.
If you just shut up,
221
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:27,418
I will peel the apple for you the
way that Mac likes you to eat it.
222
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,295
Give it to me.
Give it to me!
223
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,714
I'll do it the way
that Mac insists. Okay?
224
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,799
Yeah.
225
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:38,220
Hey-oh! Is that Charlie?
Charlie's in the house!
226
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:43,350
Charlie's in the house!
Hey! Hey!
227
00:10:43,476 --> 00:10:45,227
Hey, you want a skinless
apple, bud? Yup.
228
00:10:45,312 --> 00:10:49,398
Two skinless apples, Dee.
Let's fire the movie up. It's movie night.
229
00:10:49,482 --> 00:10:51,900
- Here's your apple, dick.
- All right. Yeah.
230
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:54,194
Where's mine?
Are you kidding me?
231
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,822
Mmm. You can peel your
own apple, Charlie.
232
00:10:56,906 --> 00:11:01,035
Mmm. She's in a little bit of a mood
because her cat got stuck in the wall.
233
00:11:01,119 --> 00:11:05,789
Cat in the wall, eh? Okay.
Now you're talking my language.
234
00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:08,417
I know this game. All right.
Catch me up to speed here.
235
00:11:08,543 --> 00:11:10,961
What do we got? You're putting
Cheeto fingers all over the wall.
236
00:11:11,046 --> 00:11:13,422
All right. Let's focus, Dee.
What's the point of entry here?
237
00:11:13,506 --> 00:11:16,550
That's the thing, Charlie. I've been looking all
around this goddamn place. I can't find one.
238
00:11:16,634 --> 00:11:18,635
All right. I've seen this before.
You know what happened?
239
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:22,097
I bet it flattened itself out, went
right through a seam in your wall.
240
00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,225
I don't think there's anything in the
laws of nature that would support that.
241
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,436
Cats do not abide by the laws
of nature, all right? Hey.
242
00:11:27,562 --> 00:11:29,980
You don't know shit about ca- We're
still gonna watch the movie, right?
243
00:11:30,065 --> 00:11:32,066
Uh- Uh, yeah.
Yeah?
244
00:11:32,192 --> 00:11:34,777
I think it's stuck in there.
No! It is not stuck.
245
00:11:34,861 --> 00:11:37,654
All right. Let's focus on what's
happening with the cat, all right?
246
00:11:37,739 --> 00:11:39,698
It made a conscious decision
to go in your wall. Correct?
247
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,909
Really?
Absolutely. Absolutely.
248
00:11:41,993 --> 00:11:44,578
It chose to be in there.
It wants to be in your wall, Dee.
249
00:11:44,704 --> 00:11:47,331
Thinking about getting some catnip, and
I was gonna put it- No, no, no, no.
250
00:11:47,415 --> 00:11:49,875
Don't do that. Don't do that.
It's gonna know that's a trap, Dee. Okay?
251
00:11:49,959 --> 00:11:52,544
That's gonna irritate the cat, then
it's gonna dig itself down further.
252
00:11:52,670 --> 00:11:54,338
We may never get to it.
Okay? You serious?
253
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:56,006
Let's start thinking
like a cat here. All right?
254
00:11:56,091 --> 00:11:57,925
You know, we-
we need another cat.
255
00:11:58,051 --> 00:11:59,843
Yes? That's what we need.
Here's what we're gonna do.
256
00:11:59,928 --> 00:12:02,471
I'm gonna crack a little hole in
your wall- Tiny one. It'll be cool.
257
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:05,599
And then I'm gonna slip a second cat
in with a string tied around it.
258
00:12:05,683 --> 00:12:07,976
Those two will become codependent,
then I'll rip the second cat out,
259
00:12:08,103 --> 00:12:10,896
and the first one hopefully- hopefully
will follow. Hey, hey. Hey, man.
260
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,024
Hey. I'm sorry. I don't mean to keep bugging
you, but you didn't tell me what to do.
261
00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:16,777
I don't care. Do you want me to
start it now or wait? I'll wait.
262
00:12:16,903 --> 00:12:19,446
Yeah. Start it. But I want to
watch it with you. I will wait.
263
00:12:19,531 --> 00:12:21,657
Just start the movie, man, 'cause
I'm having a conversation here!
264
00:12:21,741 --> 00:12:23,325
All day.
265
00:12:23,451 --> 00:12:26,412
All right. Where are we gonna get this other cat?
I can get you another cat.
266
00:12:26,496 --> 00:12:28,122
I got followed here
by, like, 10 cats.
267
00:12:28,248 --> 00:12:30,707
Yeah, they're starting to
follow me these days. Uh-I...
268
00:12:30,792 --> 00:12:32,793
You know, I don't want you
to miss the setup.
269
00:12:35,171 --> 00:12:39,758
I got everything- all the groceries,
no cat food.
270
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:42,469
And I bumped into
that guy at the video store.
271
00:12:42,554 --> 00:12:45,806
- Beefcake?
- Total jerk-off.
272
00:12:45,890 --> 00:12:47,850
Nice.
273
00:12:47,934 --> 00:12:51,478
- Hey! This place is tits!
- Yeah, right? Looks good.
274
00:12:51,604 --> 00:12:53,021
Huh? You did a great job.
Thank you.
275
00:12:53,148 --> 00:12:55,691
Whoa! Frank! No, no!
Oh, God, dude! What?
276
00:12:55,775 --> 00:12:58,152
The skin of those things
is riddled with toxins!
277
00:12:58,236 --> 00:13:00,612
Yeah, get it out though.
278
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:02,990
Get it all out.
Yuck!
279
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,576
Whoo! That was a close call.
Good save.
280
00:13:05,660 --> 00:13:07,327
Hey, all right.
Well, don't touch me with it.
281
00:13:07,412 --> 00:13:08,996
Hey, also-
I cleaned out this closet.
282
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,457
I'm telling you, bro, we could
fit a mattress in there.
283
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,917
You and Charlie don't have to
sleep next to each other anymore.
284
00:13:14,002 --> 00:13:18,005
Well, I- I kind of liked the other
arrangement though. That was pretty good.
285
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:22,301
Yeah. The other arrangement
was- was not pretty good.
286
00:13:22,385 --> 00:13:24,761
It was, um...
287
00:13:24,846 --> 00:13:27,014
It was, uh- What- What's
the word I'm looking for?
288
00:13:27,098 --> 00:13:29,892
- Crazy. - No, it's not- not crazy.
It's like...
289
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,061
- Wackadoo.
- No. Just... stop.
290
00:13:33,146 --> 00:13:34,688
Whoa! Wh-What-
What are you doing now, dude?
291
00:13:34,772 --> 00:13:36,940
What? I'm taking
the toxic skin off.
292
00:13:37,025 --> 00:13:39,067
Yeah, but you're cutting it
with your toe knife.
293
00:13:39,152 --> 00:13:41,069
- Who gives a shit?
- Frank, that is disgusting.
294
00:13:41,196 --> 00:13:43,572
What- What are you talking about?
I'm throwing it out.
295
00:13:43,656 --> 00:13:45,866
- Wait. You're throwing my toe knife out?
- The toe knife is gone.
296
00:13:45,950 --> 00:13:49,119
- Why would you do that?
- Because you were cutting your fruit with it!
297
00:13:49,204 --> 00:13:51,914
What the hell's going on here?
Look, Mac. I mean, look. I...
298
00:13:51,998 --> 00:13:55,292
I think the cleaning up and the throwing
the trash away is good, but the...
299
00:13:55,376 --> 00:13:57,794
you know, the sleeping
arrangements and the plastic...
300
00:13:57,879 --> 00:14:00,130
and throwing the toe knife
out the window, that's...
301
00:14:00,215 --> 00:14:02,716
I'm not gonna put on airs
just because I got company.
302
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:07,304
- So you think not eating cat food
is putting on airs? - You betcha!
303
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:10,599
Look, I gotta take a walk.
My head is swimming.
304
00:14:10,725 --> 00:14:12,935
That's fine. Just make sure you,
you know, check in. Oh, my.
305
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:15,521
'Cause I haven't heard from
Charlie, and it is getting late.
306
00:14:15,605 --> 00:14:17,314
- Yeah, right.
- Okay. Be safe.
307
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:28,659
Okay, Dee! This little lady
is a calico cat.
308
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:30,369
All calico cats are female.
309
00:14:30,495 --> 00:14:32,996
I'm gonna pop this little girl in your wall here.
310
00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:36,416
She's gonna meet your little
fella, they're gonna bond...
311
00:14:36,501 --> 00:14:39,419
and then I'm gonna rip her out and
he's gonna come right afterwards.
312
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:40,712
Are you sure?
Mm-hmm.
313
00:14:40,838 --> 00:14:41,797
You hear that?
314
00:14:41,881 --> 00:14:43,674
Uh, I hear a squabble.
315
00:14:43,800 --> 00:14:45,717
Mm-hmm. It's all part of the dance, okay?
316
00:14:45,802 --> 00:14:48,595
They do a little sq- Come on. Wait.
Hold on. They do a little...
317
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,556
Uh-oh.
Crap.
318
00:14:50,682 --> 00:14:52,224
Thanks a lot, Charlie.
Mmm.
319
00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,226
Goddamn it. I knew
I should've gotten a bird.
320
00:14:54,352 --> 00:14:56,186
A bird? What are you gonna
do with a bird? Yeah!
321
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:58,730
Hey, guys!
I swallowed apple seeds!
322
00:14:58,815 --> 00:15:00,399
So what?
Are they poisonous?
323
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:02,109
Are you kidding me, dude?
They're extremely poisonous!
324
00:15:02,235 --> 00:15:04,820
They're absolutely not poisonous!
Should I make myself throw up?
325
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,781
I would throw up now!
Oh, goddamn it!
326
00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,158
Apple seeds, man? That's no good.
Are you kidding me?
327
00:15:10,285 --> 00:15:11,910
Apple seeds- Yo!
Hey.
328
00:15:12,036 --> 00:15:14,496
Oh, hi. Come on in.
329
00:15:14,581 --> 00:15:17,124
So, uh, how's life with Mac?
330
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,792
I'm off him.
He's too pushy.
331
00:15:18,876 --> 00:15:20,836
Yeah, no shit.
You back on my team?
332
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:23,088
If there's room for me.
333
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:25,340
There is always room
for you, bud. Give it to me.
334
00:15:29,804 --> 00:15:31,305
Hey, guys!
I can't throw up.
335
00:15:31,389 --> 00:15:33,807
Should I stick a finger down my throat?
Yes! Oh, my God.
336
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,434
You guys, we gotta-
337
00:15:35,518 --> 00:15:37,644
Oh, man. We gotta get Mac and
Dennis back together, okay?
338
00:15:37,729 --> 00:15:39,146
Because they are ruining
all of our lives.
339
00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:40,981
What's the situation?
340
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:43,734
I got two cats stuck inside this wall.
Can't get 'em out.
341
00:15:43,860 --> 00:15:45,777
You want to bring in a third?
I'm thinking maybe four.
342
00:15:45,862 --> 00:15:48,488
- What? No! No! No!
No more cats! - A deep hole...
343
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:51,033
Frank, get out of here! You're making it worse!
Whoa. Back off Frank.
344
00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:52,951
We work very well together, okay?
We're the gruesome twosome!
345
00:15:53,036 --> 00:15:54,536
Gruesome twosome!
346
00:16:00,627 --> 00:16:03,420
All right! Okay! I am gonna go and
get Mac and Dennis back together.
347
00:16:03,504 --> 00:16:05,964
I'm gonna get a bird, I'm gonna
get two cats out of my wall...
348
00:16:06,049 --> 00:16:07,674
and then I'm gonna
go back to being alone.
349
00:16:07,759 --> 00:16:09,468
Excuse me.
Can you part for one second?
350
00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,136
Sure.
Thank you. Thank you.
351
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:14,556
What?
He swallowed some apple seeds.
352
00:16:28,112 --> 00:16:29,738
Sit down.
What...
353
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,324
- What-
- Sit.
354
00:16:32,408 --> 00:16:34,326
What is he doing here?
355
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:37,287
I was told I would be meeting
a woman with giant breasts.
356
00:16:37,372 --> 00:16:41,041
I was also told that I was to
meet a woman with giant breasts.
357
00:16:41,125 --> 00:16:42,626
Yes, geniuses. I set you up.
358
00:16:42,710 --> 00:16:44,836
Now, can you please make up, because
you're driving everyone crazy.
359
00:16:44,921 --> 00:16:47,756
Look, I'm sorry that
I called you codependent, okay?
360
00:16:47,840 --> 00:16:49,424
I think you have
a great friendship,
361
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:52,552
and it's perfectly natural for two grown
men to need each other this badly.
362
00:16:52,637 --> 00:16:54,221
So make up, please.
363
00:16:54,305 --> 00:16:57,140
I guess I should...
364
00:17:00,436 --> 00:17:03,605
You son of a bitch!
Okay. All right. Okay.
365
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:06,400
Oh, my God.
You know what? Fine.
366
00:17:06,484 --> 00:17:08,193
I don't care anymore.
Guess what?
367
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:10,987
Neither one of you are ever going
into my apartment ever again, okay?
368
00:17:11,072 --> 00:17:13,448
So make up, don't make up,
kill each other- I don't care.
369
00:17:13,533 --> 00:17:15,367
I need to go get a bird.
370
00:17:17,829 --> 00:17:19,955
She looks like a bird.
371
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,588
I swallowed
some apple seeds today.
372
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:30,841
Did you make yourself throw up?
373
00:17:30,925 --> 00:17:33,468
I tried, but I couldn't.
374
00:17:33,553 --> 00:17:39,266
Smoke some cigarettes. The smoke will
suffocate the bacteria in your stomach.
375
00:17:41,018 --> 00:17:43,520
Okay. Thanks.
376
00:17:43,604 --> 00:17:45,522
How was Charlie's?
377
00:17:47,275 --> 00:17:49,609
The way they live, bro, it's...
378
00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:53,029
It's like, um- It's
like- Preposterous.
379
00:17:53,156 --> 00:17:54,781
Yeah, dude!
Preposterous! Yeah.
380
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:57,617
I've been trying to come up
with that all day! Yeah.
381
00:17:57,702 --> 00:18:00,912
God, dude! This is why you and I
are such a good team. You know?
382
00:18:00,997 --> 00:18:04,291
Like, I'm a man of action, and you're
a man that comes up with good...
383
00:18:04,417 --> 00:18:06,334
Words?
Words, dude!
384
00:18:06,419 --> 00:18:08,253
Okay. Yeah.
Great.
385
00:18:08,337 --> 00:18:09,880
You really gotta work
on your vocabulary though, man.
386
00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:12,299
Well, you could help me.
You couldn't think of the word "words."
387
00:18:12,383 --> 00:18:13,717
Is everything okay
here, gentlemen?
388
00:18:13,801 --> 00:18:16,970
Uh, yeah. Everything's fine.
Uh, not that it concerns you.
389
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:20,348
Now might be a good time for you
to pay your bill and leave.
390
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:22,642
Well, you're not making sense
'cause we didn't buy anything.
391
00:18:22,769 --> 00:18:24,352
Actually, I-
Oh.
392
00:18:24,437 --> 00:18:27,564
- I had a couple of rum and Cokes.
- You had six, actually.
393
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,357
Six?
I had six of 'em.
394
00:18:29,484 --> 00:18:31,985
Did you? Yeah. I was nervous
about the big-breasted lady.
395
00:18:32,111 --> 00:18:34,154
I- I was nervous about her too.
You got nervous too?
396
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,281
A beautiful woman.
Dee said she had giant boobs, you know?
397
00:18:36,365 --> 00:18:37,407
I'm really excited about it.
398
00:18:37,492 --> 00:18:39,159
Will that be cash or charge?
399
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:43,747
I also was assuming that the big-breasted
lady was gonna pay for the drinks,
400
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,540
so I don't have any money.
401
00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:50,045
I've got some cash.
I can- I can get you out of this jam.
402
00:19:10,983 --> 00:19:12,484
Watch your eyes.
What?
403
00:19:12,568 --> 00:19:14,903
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
What the hell is going on?
404
00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:16,488
The gruesome twosome in effect!
405
00:19:19,534 --> 00:19:21,201
Yeah. We're bashing
a bigger hole in your wall.
406
00:19:21,285 --> 00:19:23,912
- We're gonna stuff all the cats in at one time.
- Yeah, I see that.
407
00:19:23,996 --> 00:19:27,040
No more big holes in my wall, no more cats.
We're doing the bird thing.
408
00:19:27,124 --> 00:19:30,710
I got one. I tied a string around his teeny,
tiny little legs. I'm sending it in.
409
00:19:30,837 --> 00:19:33,129
You're gonna toss a bird in?
I'm gonna toss the bird in, Charlie.
410
00:19:33,214 --> 00:19:35,257
- Go ahead, Dee. Toss the bird in.
- Check this out. Watch this.
411
00:19:35,383 --> 00:19:36,800
Dinner time.
Go on, guy.
412
00:19:36,926 --> 00:19:38,385
Do your thing.
All right.
413
00:19:38,511 --> 00:19:39,928
Go on. You got it.
414
00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:41,763
Whoa! Hold on.
Hold on. Hold on, guy.
415
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,307
I got you. Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
416
00:19:44,433 --> 00:19:46,434
Come on.
417
00:19:46,519 --> 00:19:49,020
Well, congratulations, Dee.
418
00:19:49,105 --> 00:19:51,356
You have some very satisfied
cats in there, okay?
419
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,817
Now will you step aside
and let the men do the work?
420
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:57,320
Shut up! Shut up, okay? I got it from here, all right?
I'm bashing a hole in my wall.
421
00:19:57,405 --> 00:19:59,614
I'm going in myself. Give me this.
Get out of the way.
422
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,783
All right. I'm not kidding.
Get the hell out of the way.
423
00:20:01,909 --> 00:20:03,785
Oh. I'm dead serious.
I'm going in. I've had enough.
424
00:20:03,870 --> 00:20:05,787
Go for it.
Bash away. Bash away.
425
00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:09,666
Whoa!
Oh!
426
00:20:09,750 --> 00:20:12,419
- I'm gonna get you, you jerk!
- Yeah! Yeah, Deandra!
427
00:20:12,503 --> 00:20:15,839
Come on, kitty.
428
00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,341
Oh. Come on.
429
00:20:18,426 --> 00:20:21,636
Okay. I'll get you.
I'll get you.
430
00:20:21,721 --> 00:20:23,346
Wait- Oh.
431
00:20:23,431 --> 00:20:25,223
Wow! There are
a lot of cats back here!
432
00:20:25,349 --> 00:20:27,475
Yeah. We put a lot of cats in there.
433
00:20:27,602 --> 00:20:29,936
Oh, I'm getting a text.
Ooh. Who is it?
434
00:20:30,062 --> 00:20:32,647
Ah, the dynamic duo in effect.
Oh, they're back together!
435
00:20:32,773 --> 00:20:34,274
Yeah.
All right.
436
00:20:34,358 --> 00:20:35,859
They're watching Predator.
You want to join?
437
00:20:35,943 --> 00:20:37,360
Absolutely, dude.
Great.
438
00:20:37,486 --> 00:20:38,945
Deandra, we're out of here.
Yeah.
439
00:20:39,071 --> 00:20:40,614
Hey, you guys?
We're going.
440
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:42,824
Yeah? You guys, I think
I'm stuck in the wall.
441
00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:45,410
That's why she needs a friend.
You gotta have a sidekick.
442
00:20:45,494 --> 00:20:47,329
That's all I'm saying.
That's all I'm saying.
443
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:50,165
All right- Oops. Okay, I'm trying to back
out, but my shirt's caught on something.
444
00:20:50,291 --> 00:20:52,500
Guys?
445
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:55,086
Guys?
Guys, come on!
446
00:21:38,965 --> 00:21:39,965
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
447
00:21:40,015 --> 00:21:44,565
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
38851
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.