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1
00:00:02,836 --> 00:00:05,380
Hey, come on, man. Be careful, man.
You're spilling on the floor.
2
00:00:05,464 --> 00:00:07,674
I don't understand why
you don't just use a cup.
3
00:00:07,800 --> 00:00:10,051
I'm trying to be inconspicuous.
Inconspicu...
4
00:00:10,177 --> 00:00:12,345
Your entire mouth is
stained red, Frank. It is?
5
00:00:12,471 --> 00:00:14,430
Yeah. Aren't we gonna be
at the barbecue soon?
6
00:00:14,556 --> 00:00:17,433
Yeah. I'm pregaming, man. What's going on with you?
You're going off the deep end lately.
7
00:00:17,518 --> 00:00:20,311
I feel like he's been wading around
in the deep end for a while.
8
00:00:20,396 --> 00:00:23,439
No, bro, it's different.
He's staying out all hours of the night.
9
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:26,567
I never see him. If he is around,
he's usually not even wearing clothes.
10
00:00:26,652 --> 00:00:28,986
I'm wearing clothes now, bitch.
11
00:00:29,071 --> 00:00:31,489
You're wearing a shirt that's on
inside out and it's covered in grease.
12
00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:33,700
Yeah, you're really greasy.
It's not grease. It's sap.
13
00:00:33,784 --> 00:00:36,869
- Sap? How did you get covered in sap?
- I got really wasted.
14
00:00:36,954 --> 00:00:39,580
- I must've climbed a tree.
- You're really stepping up the insanity, huh?
15
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,999
I'm trying to push myself.
I want to see how far I could go.
16
00:00:42,084 --> 00:00:44,460
I feel like you've been standing on
the edge of a cliff for a while now.
17
00:00:44,545 --> 00:00:46,462
I say hop off.
Let's see where you land.
18
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:49,257
I really wish you wouldn't encourage him, man.
I really wish you wouldn't.
19
00:00:49,341 --> 00:00:52,218
If somebody wants to push his boundaries,
you gotta let him. Frank, jump.
20
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:54,595
I never felt more alive
in my life.
21
00:00:54,722 --> 00:00:57,140
Oh, I'm sure. I'm sure.
There's the street, right there.
22
00:01:02,438 --> 00:01:05,022
What the hell?
23
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,983
I thought we were going
to a barbecue, Frank.
24
00:01:07,109 --> 00:01:10,069
It's more of a party in the park.
We're at a cemetery.
25
00:01:10,154 --> 00:01:13,781
The party is in the cemetery.
26
00:01:13,866 --> 00:01:17,285
- Who has a party in a cemetery?
- Your Uncle Max.
27
00:01:17,369 --> 00:01:19,078
He just croaked.
28
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:22,999
Flush that turd down the drain!
29
00:02:11,882 --> 00:02:14,801
Does anybody else feel
really uncomfortable?
30
00:02:14,885 --> 00:02:16,886
Yes. We're completely
underdressed. It's embarrassing.
31
00:02:17,012 --> 00:02:20,807
What are we doing here, Frank? What's your angle?
I wanna bang your Aunt Donna.
32
00:02:20,891 --> 00:02:23,935
Why would you wanna bang
our mom's sister...
33
00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:25,978
at the funeral of her husband?
34
00:02:26,063 --> 00:02:30,399
Hmm. Well, I don't know
how many years on this earth I got left.
35
00:02:30,484 --> 00:02:33,653
I'm gonna get
real weird with it.
36
00:02:33,737 --> 00:02:36,781
Meanwhile, block the wind.
I'm gonna roast this bone.
37
00:02:36,907 --> 00:02:38,407
Okay.
Jesus Christ.
38
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,201
Come on. Get in there.
What are you doing?
39
00:02:40,285 --> 00:02:42,245
That is enough. I've had enough.
He's definitely reached his limit.
40
00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:43,996
I've reached my limit,
that's for sure.
41
00:02:44,081 --> 00:02:45,873
Dude, this is what
I was talking about in the car.
42
00:02:45,958 --> 00:02:47,959
The guy is going off
the deep end, all right?
43
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:50,211
Now it's starting to affect our lives.
Yeah.
44
00:02:50,295 --> 00:02:52,338
And I think maybe we should have
an intervention or something.
45
00:02:52,422 --> 00:02:54,340
An intervention
might be a good idea.
46
00:02:54,424 --> 00:02:57,677
If he starts banging Aunt Donna, we're gonna
have the garbage pail cousin in the mix.
47
00:02:57,761 --> 00:02:59,345
No! No!
48
00:02:59,429 --> 00:03:01,347
Whoa. Who is
the garbage pail cousin?
49
00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,307
Gail the Snail
is the garbage pail cousin.
50
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:05,601
Oh, Charlie, she is the worst.
51
00:03:05,686 --> 00:03:08,980
We'd have these family parties and
she'd just glob onto me and Dennis.
52
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,482
We couldn't get rid of her.
The only way was to torture her.
53
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,484
And that's what we did. Yeah.
We'd throw her in the dryer.
54
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:16,237
We'd throw salt on her. Yeah, we'd throw
salt on her 'cause she was the snail.
55
00:03:16,363 --> 00:03:18,823
Mm-hmm. Get it? Get it?
You throw salt on a snail, and...
56
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,366
It shrivels her up.
It's supposed to shrivel up.
57
00:03:20,450 --> 00:03:22,618
Well, that sounds
a little messed up though, huh?
58
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,328
You don't think we're proud
of that, do you? No.
59
00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:26,372
But you don't understand.
That's the only way you can handle her.
60
00:03:26,456 --> 00:03:28,833
She made us do those things.
And quite frankly, I resent her for it.
61
00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:32,086
What kind of a person salts another
human being? It's terrible.
62
00:03:32,212 --> 00:03:35,506
There's no joy in salting someone.
Everyone loses. Yeah.
63
00:03:35,632 --> 00:03:37,425
It sounds like a-
What's up, suckers?
64
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:38,885
Hey, Gail.
Hey, Gail.
65
00:03:38,969 --> 00:03:43,014
You look different. I'm more confident.
I've grown into my body.
66
00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,182
You're sure showing
a lot of skin, huh?
67
00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:48,644
Jealous? I'm a woman now.
I'm not a virgin anymore.
68
00:03:48,770 --> 00:03:50,605
Cool. Thank you.
Okay.
69
00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:55,026
Hey, guys, you wanna
come to my car and take a puff?
70
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:57,278
I got some medical marijuana.
71
00:03:57,362 --> 00:04:00,448
- We're at your dad's funeral, Gail.
- What evs. I'm over it.
72
00:04:00,532 --> 00:04:02,992
Plus, if we all showed up
super high at the reception,
73
00:04:03,076 --> 00:04:05,828
everyone would be like,
"What?"
74
00:04:05,954 --> 00:04:07,747
Uh- Uh- Okay.
Come on.
75
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:09,290
Whatever, Gail.
Yes, we'll do that.
76
00:04:09,416 --> 00:04:11,292
Wait in the car and we'll join you.
We'll come get you.
77
00:04:11,376 --> 00:04:13,002
- You guys gonna come?
- We'll come in a second.
78
00:04:13,086 --> 00:04:15,421
- Like five minutes?
- Five minutes. - Anything. Yes.
79
00:04:15,505 --> 00:04:17,548
Anything.
Whatever you say.
80
00:04:17,674 --> 00:04:19,926
See, this is what happens
when you don't have salt.
81
00:04:20,010 --> 00:04:22,011
My God. There's not enough
salt in the world for her.
82
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:23,888
The garbage pail cousin.
83
00:04:24,014 --> 00:04:27,350
Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna, Donna.
Hello, Frank.
84
00:04:27,476 --> 00:04:29,435
You surprised to see me?
No.
85
00:04:29,561 --> 00:04:31,771
Ooh.
You left several voice mails...
86
00:04:31,897 --> 00:04:35,858
congratulating me on my husband's death.
Well, I was pretty baked.
87
00:04:35,984 --> 00:04:38,110
What do you want?
I have a proposition for you.
88
00:04:38,195 --> 00:04:41,280
I think you and me
ought to bang.
89
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:44,075
What?
Okay. Hear me out.
90
00:04:44,159 --> 00:04:46,535
Max never liked me.
I hated him.
91
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:50,122
Barbara didn't like you.
You despised her.
92
00:04:50,207 --> 00:04:53,376
Now, what better way to get
back at them in the grave,
93
00:04:53,460 --> 00:04:57,463
really stick it to 'em,
if you and me plowed?
94
00:04:57,547 --> 00:05:01,467
I mean, really- Hmm?
95
00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,719
You get back to me.
96
00:05:07,391 --> 00:05:09,517
Hey. I'm Mac.
97
00:05:10,519 --> 00:05:12,687
Barbara's ex-lover.
98
00:05:12,771 --> 00:05:14,563
She may have mentioned...
99
00:05:16,108 --> 00:05:18,025
You were gonna say something?
No.
100
00:05:21,905 --> 00:05:26,075
You said- No?
No. I was just breathing.
101
00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:47,513
I'll start
by commending you guys...
102
00:05:47,597 --> 00:05:49,640
for taking the initiative
to help Frank.
103
00:05:49,725 --> 00:05:53,060
Ah, we're caring people.
That's our nature.
104
00:05:53,145 --> 00:05:56,272
Um, what's Frank struggling
with the most right now?
105
00:05:56,398 --> 00:05:59,567
Ooh. Ah, he is trying to bang our aunt.
That's the big one.
106
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:04,363
Uh, these things deal more with drug
and alcohol abuse. Mm-hmm.
107
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:07,074
Drugs and alcohol are rolled into
what we're talking about here...
108
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,118
Oh, yeah.
With the aunt thing.
109
00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:10,703
So he does have
a drinking problem.
110
00:06:10,829 --> 00:06:12,496
Oh, big time. Big time.
Oh, lady.
111
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:14,540
But if I'm being honest,
my problem's less with the fact...
112
00:06:14,624 --> 00:06:16,417
that he's drinking and more
that he's doing it without me.
113
00:06:16,501 --> 00:06:20,838
And then I start thinking, "What's wrong with me?
Am I not fun to drink with?"
114
00:06:20,922 --> 00:06:24,050
Oh, no. Don't do that to yourself.
You're plenty of fun to drink with.
115
00:06:24,176 --> 00:06:26,135
Trust me, Charlie.
You get really, really drunk. Oh, yeah.
116
00:06:26,219 --> 00:06:28,387
And then you get reckless,
and it's a lot of fun.
117
00:06:28,472 --> 00:06:29,847
So how do we go
about doing this?
118
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:32,058
Do we ambush him
and then sort of like berate him...
119
00:06:32,142 --> 00:06:34,393
into becoming the guy
we wanna be around?
120
00:06:34,478 --> 00:06:36,437
You certainly don't berate him.
121
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:39,815
He needs to know you're coming
from a place of love and concern.
122
00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:41,567
Mm-mmm. Too soft.
123
00:06:41,651 --> 00:06:46,030
I think we should come at him with
an iron fist and crush him into submission.
124
00:06:46,114 --> 00:06:48,365
Right, right.
If we're taking that approach,
125
00:06:48,492 --> 00:06:51,035
you might wanna be armed at
this intervention. Mm-hmm.
126
00:06:51,119 --> 00:06:53,120
Why- Why would
I need to be armed?
127
00:06:53,205 --> 00:06:55,372
Well, Frank's usually carrying
a little gun with him.
128
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:57,750
- And he doesn't really hesitate to use it.
- And you know what?
129
00:06:57,834 --> 00:06:59,752
Have the gun out and ready to rock
when he comes in.
130
00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:03,881
- We'll all have guns. - It's just safer.
She could put it in her pants.
131
00:07:03,965 --> 00:07:06,008
If we maybe ambush Frank
with a net...
132
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:08,260
or some kind of rope device,
133
00:07:08,386 --> 00:07:11,430
the gun will maybe drop out of his waist belt.
You wanna bring him in in a net?
134
00:07:11,515 --> 00:07:13,724
- That could get awkward.
- Just bring the gun.
135
00:07:13,850 --> 00:07:16,477
Bring a gun. I don't wanna get shot,
so just bring a gun, will you?
136
00:07:18,188 --> 00:07:22,358
You know,
I do offer group therapy.
137
00:07:24,319 --> 00:07:25,528
Yeah.
What are you doing?
138
00:07:25,654 --> 00:07:27,613
What is this you're doing?
What is that? What is that?
139
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:32,201
With all due respect, you're talking
about bringing guns to an intervention,
140
00:07:32,285 --> 00:07:34,954
and you're drinking wine
out of a soda can.
141
00:07:35,080 --> 00:07:37,206
Yeah.
You put wine in the soda can?
142
00:07:37,332 --> 00:07:39,125
You didn't know, did you?
That's good.
143
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,376
Soda.
You stole Frank's idea.
144
00:07:40,502 --> 00:07:42,086
Actually, it's a pretty good one.
It's a good idea.
145
00:07:42,212 --> 00:07:44,922
The guy's got great ideas. He's a smart man.
That's not what we're here about.
146
00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:48,759
- But I do feel like she just tried an
intervention on us. - Did you intervene on us?
147
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:52,221
You know what I'm feeling? I'm feeling
like you've lost control of the room here.
148
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:55,141
And we're the ones that are running things now.
I've lost my trust in you.
149
00:07:55,225 --> 00:07:57,685
- We can do this on our own.
- We can do the intervention without her.
150
00:07:57,769 --> 00:07:59,103
You guys think?
Why not?
151
00:07:59,229 --> 00:08:01,313
All right. Might as well give it a shot.
Let's just do that.
152
00:08:01,398 --> 00:08:02,982
Thank you. Thanks for your help.
You did your best.
153
00:08:03,108 --> 00:08:04,692
After you.
No hard feelings.
154
00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,026
I'm gonna grab
some of this literature.
155
00:08:06,111 --> 00:08:07,444
She didn't do
that great of a job.
156
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,029
No, but don't beat her
while she's down.
157
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,873
Frank,
here's another idea.
158
00:08:18,957 --> 00:08:21,333
Oh! Oh!
Where'd you come from?
159
00:08:21,418 --> 00:08:23,586
I've been walking next to you
the entire time.
160
00:08:23,670 --> 00:08:26,463
I'm sorry. I'm a little, uh, lit.
161
00:08:26,548 --> 00:08:29,967
And, uh, I've been
going over this thing.
162
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:33,137
I'm trying to figure out how-
How to bang Donna. I know.
163
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,639
You've been talking about
it for the last five miles.
164
00:08:35,724 --> 00:08:37,808
Dude, it doesn't matter.
I got a better idea.
165
00:08:37,893 --> 00:08:40,144
I think you should bang
Gail the Snail.
166
00:08:40,270 --> 00:08:42,271
My niece?
Yeah.
167
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,065
Gail the Snail? Dude, what's
more depraved than that, huh?
168
00:08:45,150 --> 00:08:47,234
Plus, you're not blood related,
so it's not that weird.
169
00:08:47,319 --> 00:08:49,153
That is a good idea.
170
00:08:49,237 --> 00:08:52,823
I like the way you're thinking.
171
00:08:52,949 --> 00:08:55,784
Ew!
What's in it for you?
172
00:08:55,911 --> 00:08:57,620
Huh?
173
00:08:57,746 --> 00:09:00,206
Oh! Jesus!
What's in it for you?
174
00:09:00,290 --> 00:09:02,458
Don't worry about
what's in it for me, dude.
175
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,045
Good God! You are disgusting.
176
00:09:06,129 --> 00:09:08,422
A disgusting animal.
177
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,515
Mm. Charlie.
178
00:09:18,600 --> 00:09:20,935
Let's write him a letter.
Let's write Frank a letter.
179
00:09:21,019 --> 00:09:23,270
That's the first step
in any intervention, right?
180
00:09:23,396 --> 00:09:25,064
Huh. Yeah.
Great. All right.
181
00:09:25,148 --> 00:09:27,191
So I'm assuming you'll have
to dictate yours to me,
182
00:09:27,317 --> 00:09:31,237
and then I'll just write it down for you, yeah?
Yes, that'll be fine.
183
00:09:31,321 --> 00:09:33,656
Okay, great.
Let's- Let's do that.
184
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:36,242
Okay, uh, I guess
my letter would be about...
185
00:09:36,326 --> 00:09:39,245
how Frank and I aren't really making
memories together anymore,
186
00:09:39,329 --> 00:09:43,374
and how when we don't make memories
together, that's a hurtful thing for me.
187
00:09:43,458 --> 00:09:46,335
Okay. Uh, you know,
let's just dive right in.
188
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:49,213
I'm not even gonna try and suss out
where you're going with that one.
189
00:09:49,297 --> 00:09:51,215
Right. Um, number one...
190
00:09:51,299 --> 00:09:54,551
when was the last time we played
Night Crawlers together, Frank?
191
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,304
Oh. Oh, okay.
What is that?
192
00:09:57,389 --> 00:10:01,475
Well, it's not about you.
Why don't you just write it down, and then...
193
00:10:01,559 --> 00:10:05,020
Yeah, but you said it.
You said "Night Crawlers,"
194
00:10:05,105 --> 00:10:07,564
and now I feel like
I can't move past it.
195
00:10:07,691 --> 00:10:10,776
I gotta know what that is.
It's- It's no big deal.
196
00:10:10,860 --> 00:10:13,028
You know? I...
197
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,864
If I were you, I'd just write it down
because it's not really a big deal.
198
00:10:15,991 --> 00:10:18,742
What is it?
It's what it sounds like.
199
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:22,955
What it sounds like is that you two
crawl around like worms in the night.
200
00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,915
That's what it sounds like.
201
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,835
This is not about
you, so I'd like for you...
202
00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:30,170
Damn! Shut up! Guess what!
203
00:10:30,297 --> 00:10:32,965
What? We got you!
What do you guys think?
204
00:10:33,049 --> 00:10:35,551
I thought when Frank comes in, we'll
just bang and make a bunch of noise.
205
00:10:35,677 --> 00:10:38,429
Oh, yeah. Ha!
We've got you! All right.
206
00:10:38,513 --> 00:10:40,431
But the pain is a little agitating.
That's overboard, I think.
207
00:10:40,515 --> 00:10:42,433
- It's too much?
- I think that's too far.
208
00:10:42,517 --> 00:10:45,144
The yelling and pointing and accusing and
saying that he's trapped and surrounded...
209
00:10:45,228 --> 00:10:46,520
is probably gonna be-
That's gonna be great.
210
00:10:46,604 --> 00:10:49,106
By the way, you guys, can I
just say, as a side note,
211
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,150
I am loving
this canned wine thing.
212
00:10:51,276 --> 00:10:52,818
I think it's brilliant.
Right?
213
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,904
I'm active. I'm gesturing with my
hands, and I don't feel restricted.
214
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,532
If I was holding a wine glass, I'd be
spilling wine all over the goddamn place.
215
00:10:58,616 --> 00:11:02,119
It would get everywhere. We're not intervening
on Frank for a lack of good ideas.
216
00:11:02,245 --> 00:11:05,831
Well, that's for sure. Oh, no.
Well, guys, maybe we're not doing the right thing.
217
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,792
You're talking a lot about wine.
You got it all over your lips and teeth.
218
00:11:08,877 --> 00:11:12,212
Maybe we need the help of a professional.
We should probably get that lady back.
219
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,340
What are you talking about?
We're coming up with all kinds of good ideas.
220
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,508
We're flowing here.
I feel like we got some good stuff.
221
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,594
I just feel like- Maybe we should
consult with the pamphlets, right?
222
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:20,637
The pamphlets I grabbed from the office.
Oh, okay.
223
00:11:20,722 --> 00:11:22,181
Well, I've been meaning
to bring that up.
224
00:11:22,265 --> 00:11:24,058
I took a lot at those
pamphlets that you grabbed,
225
00:11:24,142 --> 00:11:26,268
and not a single one of them has
anything to do with intervention.
226
00:11:26,353 --> 00:11:29,313
It's not even close. I'm starting to
think we need to intervene on you...
227
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,524
for your goddamn illiteracy.
Yeah, Charlie, you are getting real dumb.
228
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:37,112
Come on. All right. See, this is
what I'm talking about. Illiteracy.
229
00:11:37,197 --> 00:11:40,699
What does that word even mean?
Come on.
230
00:11:40,784 --> 00:11:43,285
I'm gonna get the lady,
'cause this is gettin' crazy.
231
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,871
We need help.
I'm gettin' the lady.
232
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,554
- Whoa.
- How you doin', Frank?
233
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:04,390
What the hell
are you doing here?
234
00:12:04,474 --> 00:12:06,392
Frank, my plan
is finally coming together.
235
00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:09,395
With you out of the picture,
I can swoop in on Donna.
236
00:12:09,479 --> 00:12:11,522
Is that why you pushed me off
onto the Snail?
237
00:12:11,606 --> 00:12:14,149
Yeah, that's right, bitch.
But that's what you wanted anyway, right?
238
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,151
You wanted to be
as depraved as possible.
239
00:12:16,236 --> 00:12:21,573
Yeah. But I think the Snail
is too depraved even for me.
240
00:12:21,658 --> 00:12:23,534
This broad is berserk.
241
00:12:23,660 --> 00:12:26,370
Wake and bake.
You guys bang?
242
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:31,875
Oh, no. We did a bunch of those Monster
Energy drinks and dry humped. It was awful.
243
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:33,919
I think she gave me poison ivy.
244
00:12:34,003 --> 00:12:36,922
Hey, hey there, sleepyhead.
245
00:12:37,006 --> 00:12:39,925
I made you breakfast.
I hope you like it crispy 'cause it is burned.
246
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:43,554
What is going on in here?
How did you get in my house?
247
00:12:43,638 --> 00:12:45,681
Did you kick in my door?
248
00:12:45,765 --> 00:12:47,933
Kick, yes. Kick in, no.
249
00:12:48,017 --> 00:12:49,977
That door is solid,
which is the good news.
250
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:52,771
The bad news
is the window is not.
251
00:12:52,856 --> 00:12:54,440
That's gonna be a security concern.
But don't worry.
252
00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,400
I'm gonna fix it,
make sure it's up to snuff.
253
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:59,445
You're always safe when you're with me.
Are you ready for your breakfast?
254
00:12:59,529 --> 00:13:01,822
I'm sorry.
What is happening here?
255
00:13:01,948 --> 00:13:06,160
I haven't any idea, honestly.
I'm giving Frank a handy under the table.
256
00:13:06,286 --> 00:13:07,453
That is true.
257
00:13:07,537 --> 00:13:09,872
Look, Snail- Back off.
258
00:13:09,956 --> 00:13:13,292
Because you're just
mashing it now. It's not...
259
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,918
For God sakes, Gail.
260
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,254
Mom, I'm sexually active now.
Get over it.
261
00:13:17,338 --> 00:13:19,965
You're 33 years old.
You're supposed to be sexually active.
262
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:23,218
You're not supposed to be fondling
your uncle under a table.
263
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:26,263
We're not blood related.
Will you just please leave her alone?
264
00:13:26,347 --> 00:13:30,309
I'll make a deal with you.
I dump the Snail if you and I go out.
265
00:13:30,393 --> 00:13:32,102
Frank, you can't do that.
Donna's my girl.
266
00:13:32,187 --> 00:13:34,146
I called her first at the funeral.
Fair is fair.
267
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,315
Let me make something
perfectly clear.
268
00:13:36,399 --> 00:13:39,109
I will never be
with either of you.
269
00:13:39,194 --> 00:13:41,862
Why are you doing this to me?
Why can't you just let me be happy?
270
00:13:41,988 --> 00:13:43,447
I want everybody out of my house.
Jesus Christ.
271
00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:44,823
Out of my house!
Okay!
272
00:13:44,908 --> 00:13:46,992
- Fine.
- Not you. You live here, Gail.
273
00:13:47,076 --> 00:13:49,286
I hate it here. I'm leaving.
I'm going with this guy. He's my boyfriend.
274
00:13:49,370 --> 00:13:51,580
- I'm taking some eggs.
- I am not your boyfriend.
275
00:13:51,664 --> 00:13:54,208
Frank, what is with this chick?
She's berserk.
276
00:13:56,294 --> 00:13:58,837
Oh, okay. I get it.
So Frank sits there,
277
00:13:58,922 --> 00:14:00,923
and we put stools
in a semicircle.
278
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,925
You wanna make sure there's
a border all around him...
279
00:14:03,051 --> 00:14:05,093
so there's no going anywhere.
And zing him from every angle.
280
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:06,178
Yep.
Okay.
281
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:08,472
- That makes sense.
- There she is!
282
00:14:08,598 --> 00:14:11,183
Hey! Hey!
Thank you for coming!
283
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:14,728
- - We really appreciate this.
We really appreciate it.
284
00:14:14,812 --> 00:14:17,856
Well, I'm here because clearly your
friend is in desperate need of help.
285
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,359
Yeah, yeah, yeah!
286
00:14:20,443 --> 00:14:23,487
Well, we realize we also just need
as many people attacking this guy...
287
00:14:23,613 --> 00:14:24,988
as we can possibly get.
Mm-hmm.
288
00:14:25,073 --> 00:14:27,699
Well, not attacking.
This is why I'm glad you called me back.
289
00:14:27,784 --> 00:14:30,077
Yeah, okay, listen.
Before we get into that,
290
00:14:30,161 --> 00:14:33,330
could you help us pop a quick intervention
on Charlie for his illiteracy?
291
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,374
The kid can't read or write.
Not a bit.
292
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:38,252
- - No joke.
It's no joke.
293
00:14:38,336 --> 00:14:42,172
They've been riding me all day. I can read and write.
I just don't like to read and write.
294
00:14:42,257 --> 00:14:44,299
Let's try and stay focused on Frank.
295
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:46,385
That's a good point.
He's gonna be here any second.
296
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,428
We told him there was
a giant grease fire...
297
00:14:48,513 --> 00:14:52,140
and he had to come down immediately.
298
00:14:52,267 --> 00:14:55,602
Uh-oh. She's- I'm assuming you wouldn't
have lured him down with a fire.
299
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:57,604
Is that what your face
is doing right now?
300
00:14:57,689 --> 00:15:01,233
Yeah. Um, and I wouldn't
have an intervention at a bar either.
301
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:03,652
Well, lady, look,
302
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:06,863
all mistakes we've made on our own,
so it's good that you're here.
303
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,323
We're doing our best.
We're doing our best.
304
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,783
Where's the goddamn fire?
305
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:13,287
Intervention! Intervention!
Ah, intervention!
306
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,540
Intervention! I got it! I got it!
You're surrounded, Frank!
307
00:15:16,624 --> 00:15:19,585
There's nowhere for you to go.
You're trapped. You're trapped.
308
00:15:19,669 --> 00:15:21,712
You're trapped!
You're trapped!
309
00:15:21,838 --> 00:15:23,547
Got you! Got you!
You're trapped!
310
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:26,550
- That's enough! That's enough!
- We told you there was gonna be a gun.
311
00:15:26,676 --> 00:15:28,844
What the hell's going on?
Got you, man!
312
00:15:28,970 --> 00:15:31,680
Sit down! You sit down so we can tell
you what an asshole you've been.
313
00:15:31,764 --> 00:15:33,890
We're gonna get all in your
face and point out your faults.
314
00:15:33,975 --> 00:15:37,227
A roast? I've always
wanted to be roasted.
315
00:15:37,312 --> 00:15:40,314
Oh, wait. Let me just
switch gears here...
316
00:15:40,398 --> 00:15:42,316
fire up this spliff.
317
00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:44,401
No, no, no, no.
Wait. Frank, hold on.
318
00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:48,989
Um, everyone's here today because they care
about you and they want you to get well.
319
00:15:49,073 --> 00:15:51,950
She ain't funny. Next.
320
00:15:52,076 --> 00:15:53,952
Frank, you're an asshole.
Ah! That's it.
321
00:15:54,037 --> 00:15:56,496
- Now rain down on me.
Come on. - You're a prick!
322
00:15:56,581 --> 00:15:58,957
And your addiction has affected
us in the following ways.
323
00:15:59,042 --> 00:16:00,959
You are annoying!
324
00:16:01,044 --> 00:16:04,004
Dennis, come on!
Give it to me with both barrels!
325
00:16:04,130 --> 00:16:09,426
Why do we never play Night Crawlers anymore, huh?
I don't know, Charlie.
326
00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:13,138
What is Night Crawlers? It's a game where
they crawl around in the night like worms.
327
00:16:13,264 --> 00:16:15,974
I never said that.
Yeah, well, that's what it is.
328
00:16:16,059 --> 00:16:18,685
Intervention! Intervention!
Is nothing private, Frank?
329
00:16:18,770 --> 00:16:22,648
Jesus! Look, I like that game.
I don't wanna stop playing it.
330
00:16:22,732 --> 00:16:24,775
Well, Charlie,
we can play that game.
331
00:16:24,901 --> 00:16:25,942
You promise?
Yeah.
332
00:16:26,069 --> 00:16:27,736
Whoo! Ahh!
Yeah.
333
00:16:27,820 --> 00:16:29,738
Stop touching me.
334
00:16:29,822 --> 00:16:32,074
- Just stop.
- Whoa! What's this?
335
00:16:32,158 --> 00:16:33,825
Me and Mac are together.
336
00:16:33,910 --> 00:16:35,077
No! No!
No!
337
00:16:35,203 --> 00:16:37,496
Intervention! Intervention!
Intervention!
338
00:16:37,580 --> 00:16:39,498
What are you
interventioning me for?
339
00:16:39,582 --> 00:16:41,208
Because you can't
be banging Gail the Snail.
340
00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,794
I'm not banging Gail the Snail.
She followed me home.
341
00:16:43,920 --> 00:16:46,296
Oh!
She was doing that the whole time.
342
00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:49,841
Yeah, she does that.
Swallow it or spit it out.
343
00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:51,259
No, don't!
Oh, my God.
344
00:16:51,386 --> 00:16:52,678
See?
Intervention!
345
00:16:52,762 --> 00:16:54,638
Hey, babe, I'll get you
a drink from the bar.
346
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,223
Great. My God.
What are you doing, Mac?
347
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,975
I was just going over to her
house to try and bang Donna...
348
00:16:59,060 --> 00:17:01,144
because she reminds me
so much of your mom,
349
00:17:01,229 --> 00:17:02,521
which is
the best sex I ever had.
350
00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,815
- - Intervention.
Intervention.
351
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,734
Huh?
You banged my dead wife?
352
00:17:07,819 --> 00:17:10,654
Well, she was alive
at the time.
353
00:17:10,738 --> 00:17:13,949
- But- Did you not know that?
- No.
354
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:17,327
It's cool, man. It's cool.
Intervention. Intervention. Okay?
355
00:17:17,412 --> 00:17:21,373
Look, he's got a weird fetish for older
women, so don't hold it against him.
356
00:17:21,457 --> 00:17:23,750
I don't have
an older-woman fetish.
357
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,293
Yeah, you do.
I don't wanna bang this chick.
358
00:17:25,378 --> 00:17:27,129
Let's cool it with the
intervention stuff for a second...
359
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,214
'cause there's a lot of 'em
being thrown around right now,
360
00:17:29,298 --> 00:17:30,882
and I'm having a little bit
of trouble keeping track.
361
00:17:30,967 --> 00:17:33,260
The most important intervention is the
one we need to do on Gail the Snail...
362
00:17:33,344 --> 00:17:34,553
and getting her
out of our lives.
363
00:17:34,637 --> 00:17:37,305
Guys, let's do shots
and get crazy.
364
00:17:37,432 --> 00:17:40,100
No, Gail. No. We're intervening on you, Snail.
Go. Get out of here.
365
00:17:40,226 --> 00:17:42,269
Yeah, right.
How is she not getting this?
366
00:17:42,395 --> 00:17:45,522
She's stonewalling us.
It is a classic Snail technique. Classic.
367
00:17:45,648 --> 00:17:47,983
Ya! Get out of here, Snail!
He's got the salt!
368
00:17:48,109 --> 00:17:50,068
Salt the Snail!
Ya, ya, ya!
369
00:17:50,153 --> 00:17:52,904
Go, Snail!
Ya, ya, ya!
370
00:17:53,030 --> 00:17:55,282
Ya! Ya!
Hey, guys! Guys, guys!
371
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,076
I was gonna invite you guys
all to a rave to hang out,
372
00:17:58,161 --> 00:18:00,036
but now I don't wanna
hang out with you anymore.
373
00:18:00,163 --> 00:18:02,122
Oh, my God. Salt the Snail.
Just salt her.
374
00:18:02,206 --> 00:18:03,665
Wait, wait!
Do you guys wanna go?
375
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,667
No, no! We don't wanna go!
Wait!
376
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,377
I have glow sticks.
377
00:18:07,462 --> 00:18:09,504
Salt the Snail!
378
00:18:09,589 --> 00:18:10,922
The whole thing!
379
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:14,509
- Ya, ya, ya!
- What is with that broad?
380
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,554
She is the worst, right?
That's what we've been saying.
381
00:18:17,638 --> 00:18:20,140
Oh, my God. That was a terrible
experience for me by the way.
382
00:18:20,224 --> 00:18:23,101
Of course it was. Nobody likes salting
the Snail, but she gives you no choice.
383
00:18:23,186 --> 00:18:26,104
- She doesn't leave you with any options.
- What a horrible thing.
384
00:18:26,189 --> 00:18:28,190
I'm all worked up now.
I feel bad.
385
00:18:28,274 --> 00:18:31,151
I feel like maybe I should have
some more wine in a can.
386
00:18:31,277 --> 00:18:33,737
I'll get you one. I can use some
canned wine to calm down a little bit.
387
00:18:33,821 --> 00:18:34,905
Oh, you guys are drinking
wine out of those cans?
388
00:18:34,906 --> 00:18:35,947
Oh, you guys are drinking
wine out of those cans?
389
00:18:36,032 --> 00:18:37,908
Hell, yeah, baby.
Hell, yeah.
390
00:18:38,034 --> 00:18:41,411
Can I have one? Yes, and you will notice
the advantages almost immediately.
391
00:18:41,537 --> 00:18:43,330
Here. Try this.
I feel like drinking wine out of a can...
392
00:18:43,414 --> 00:18:46,208
is conducive to my violent
hand gestures when I speak.
393
00:18:46,334 --> 00:18:48,210
You tend to be very emphatic and
strong and- There's no spillage.
394
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,337
Say I wanna give one to Frank.
You didn't get any on me.
395
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:53,381
I spilled a little.
You wanna point accusatorily, but...
396
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:54,883
But it really boosts
your mobility.
397
00:18:54,967 --> 00:18:58,386
Excuse me.
Excuse- Excuse me.
398
00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:02,808
People, I- I'm sorry, but how do
you guys wanna proceed from here?
399
00:19:02,892 --> 00:19:04,476
Because I'm a little confused.
400
00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:06,311
Ohh!
401
00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,313
Did you wanna-
Right. Okay.
402
00:19:08,397 --> 00:19:12,317
Um- Well, I guess we kind of got what
we needed out of the intervention.
403
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,027
Yeah.
Right? So good job.
404
00:19:14,111 --> 00:19:16,112
Was it? Did she?
We did all the work, didn't we?
405
00:19:16,197 --> 00:19:18,824
So we can't really
pay you 'cause of that.
406
00:19:18,950 --> 00:19:21,660
I know we said we would,
but we won't. Yeah.
407
00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,871
Um, how about a can of wine?
Oh.
408
00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:30,252
No.
409
00:19:30,378 --> 00:19:33,046
Oh.
All right. Well...
410
00:19:33,172 --> 00:19:34,548
Okay, well, on your way.
Adios.
411
00:19:34,632 --> 00:19:35,757
On your way then.
Take your jacket.
412
00:19:35,842 --> 00:19:37,092
Get out of here.
413
00:19:37,176 --> 00:19:38,677
Take that shoulder-padded
jacket and get the hell out.
414
00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:40,136
Thanks for stopping by.
415
00:19:40,221 --> 00:19:41,805
Don't expect
a check in the mail.
416
00:19:41,931 --> 00:19:43,098
Hey!
Up top!
417
00:19:43,224 --> 00:19:44,599
Up top, everybody!
Great intervention!
418
00:19:44,725 --> 00:19:46,560
Great intervention!
Great intervention work!
419
00:20:30,479 --> 00:20:31,479
ENGLISH - US - PSDH
420
00:20:31,529 --> 00:20:36,079
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