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1
00:00:48,409 --> 00:00:52,433
Albert, cup of tea out for you.
2
00:00:52,796 --> 00:00:54,224
Righto, son.
3
00:01:38,909 --> 00:01:45,258
Here you go, sweetheart. Nothing like
a nice cup of Darjeelin' to start the day, that's my motto.
4
00:01:45,293 --> 00:01:46,652
Thanks.
5
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,919
So what are you up to today?
6
00:01:51,175 --> 00:01:52,360
Nothing much.
7
00:01:52,539 --> 00:01:54,232
Just gonna sit around and
try and learn this.
8
00:01:54,989 --> 00:01:58,817
I wish I'd never agreed to this audition in the first place.
I'll never get the part anyway.
9
00:01:59,002 --> 00:02:01,434
You're giving up before
you've even started.
10
00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:03,766
You don't know how nervous
I get with auditions.
11
00:02:03,786 --> 00:02:05,191
You'll be terrific.
12
00:02:06,511 --> 00:02:12,682
Remember the old saying?
She who dares... wins.
13
00:02:14,336 --> 00:02:15,967
If you say so Del.
14
00:02:16,964 --> 00:02:19,438
You know, you're the only one who's ever
really given me any encouragement.
15
00:02:20,162 --> 00:02:21,944
My ex-husband used to laugh at me.
16
00:02:22,429 --> 00:02:25,939
To him, ambitions and dreams of
wonderful things were a waste of time.
17
00:02:26,851 --> 00:02:28,905
Never lose
sight of your dreams sweetheart!
18
00:02:32,975 --> 00:02:37,301
When I was 18 I said that by the time I was 21
I was gonna be a millionaire.
19
00:02:37,632 --> 00:02:38,782
Really?
20
00:02:39,213 --> 00:02:44,273
When I was 21 I said I'd be a millionaire
by the time I was 30... and when I was 30...
21
00:02:44,308 --> 00:02:45,661
D'you want a Jammy-Dodger?
22
00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:54,447
I've never told anyone this, but,
d'you remember when I was in America for a while?
23
00:02:55,250 --> 00:02:58,423
Well, while I was there they were putting
on Aida at the Met.
24
00:02:59,039 --> 00:03:04,423
So I applied for a part in it. I didn't get it �
there were union problems and I wasn't very good.
25
00:03:04,929 --> 00:03:12,396
For a while, my head was filled with big
theatres. You know, New York, Broadway - all that!
26
00:03:14,558 --> 00:03:15,528
Stupid...
27
00:03:15,850 --> 00:03:18,015
No! Not stupid at all sweetheart.
28
00:03:18,316 --> 00:03:22,532
'Cause you had a go, didn't ya?
That's the most important thing. You had a go.
29
00:03:23,182 --> 00:03:25,123
Anyway, I reckon it was all for the best.
30
00:03:25,550 --> 00:03:26,815
How?
31
00:03:27,241 --> 00:03:32,820
Well, Aida at the Met!
I can't see you playing a policewoman.
32
00:03:37,080 --> 00:03:40,832
Perhaps you're right. Although I wouldn't
have had to do much research.
33
00:03:41,003 --> 00:03:42,785
My husband was a
policeman.
34
00:03:44,091 --> 00:03:47,785
- Your old man was copper? Gordon Bennett!
- Yeah. Didn't I ever say?
35
00:03:47,820 --> 00:03:50,262
No, you did not. You never told me that!
36
00:03:53,305 --> 00:03:54,819
Do you see much of him
Do you see him at all?
37
00:03:54,854 --> 00:03:57,805
No, I haven't seen him for
years and years. Why?
38
00:03:57,840 --> 00:04:00,034
Nothing! I'm just curious.
39
00:04:03,365 --> 00:04:07,229
You never told me that!
You better explain yourself.
40
00:04:08,939 --> 00:04:10,915
- Am I interrupting anything?
- No.
41
00:04:12,341 --> 00:04:14,407
Oh well, better luck next
time.
42
00:04:14,723 --> 00:04:16,206
I'm off to work. See you later.
43
00:04:16,241 --> 00:04:19,552
I'm going round your flat
this morning, do your front door.
44
00:04:19,849 --> 00:04:21,932
Have you seen
Cassandra since she got back?
45
00:04:22,972 --> 00:04:26,350
Why don't you ask to meet
her, talk things over quietly between yourselves?
46
00:04:26,620 --> 00:04:29,832
If she wants to make the
first move, fine. Other than that - nito!
47
00:04:30,038 --> 00:04:33,454
Is there a message I can give her
from you?
48
00:04:34,133 --> 00:04:36,148
Yeah. Say hasta la vesta.
49
00:04:37,444 --> 00:04:41,322
Vesta? That's boil-in-the-bag curry, innit?
50
00:04:41,576 --> 00:04:47,733
- No. It's Spanish for boil-in-the-bag curry.
- I thought it was.
51
00:04:57,508 --> 00:04:59,703
You didn't do any shopping
today then, Albert?
52
00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:03,420
No, that cup of tea I had
this morning made me feel a bit rough.
53
00:05:06,641 --> 00:05:08,685
I thought you were doing the
shopping now.
54
00:05:09,119 --> 00:05:11,216
I've been out to lunch with
my agent!
55
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:13,199
Well, there's some egg and
bacon in the fridge.
56
00:05:13,384 --> 00:05:15,018
Del doesn't like fried
food!
57
00:05:17,140 --> 00:05:19,270
Well, I'm sorry, it'll
have to be egg and bacon.
58
00:05:19,854 --> 00:05:22,843
If that's the
way it goes. Four rashers for me.
59
00:05:26,030 --> 00:05:30,617
- When's this audition of yours?
- Tomorrow. I'm auditioning for Rosalind.
60
00:05:30,652 --> 00:05:32,113
Rosalind who?
61
00:05:32,148 --> 00:05:36,566
The part of Rosalind! I've got to learn the whole of
Act Three, Scene Two by tomorrow morning.
62
00:05:36,601 --> 00:05:38,156
How the hell am I gonna to do that?
63
00:05:38,498 --> 00:05:40,809
- Don't worry about that, I'll help you.
- How d'you mean?
64
00:05:41,180 --> 00:05:44,844
I'll rehearse with you. You know,
I'll read the other parts so you can get used to it.
65
00:05:47,544 --> 00:05:51,025
I used to do a bit of acting when I was at school.
Bloody good I was an' all.
66
00:05:54,152 --> 00:05:55,920
You used to act at school?
67
00:05:55,955 --> 00:06:01,160
Yeah. I was in the Nativity play.
Played the landlord.
68
00:06:03,696 --> 00:06:06,174
There was little Del Boy, strapped about.
69
00:06:06,465 --> 00:06:12,351
Then there was this knock at the door.
So I answered the door and said 'I'm sorry. No room at the inn'.
70
00:06:13,263 --> 00:06:16,710
Joseph persuaded me to let
'em kip in the stable.
71
00:06:17,503 --> 00:06:22,568
I tried to charge him one and
six for the night and got the cane for that.
72
00:06:22,987 --> 00:06:24,568
Those were the
days...
73
00:06:27,179 --> 00:06:28,418
Ring the doorbell!
74
00:06:28,838 --> 00:06:31,328
- Ring the doorbell.
- Why? I've got the key!
75
00:06:31,589 --> 00:06:33,566
Just ring the doorbell.
76
00:06:33,798 --> 00:06:35,213
Alright.
77
00:06:46,762 --> 00:06:51,651
- Vive la France!
- What is that thing?
78
00:06:51,884 --> 00:06:57,223
Brilliant, innit? Musical doorchimes there.
They play 36 different national anthems.
79
00:06:57,515 --> 00:07:00,627
36 different nat...! You
are kidding, aren't you?
80
00:07:00,662 --> 00:07:03,352
No, he's ain't kidding,
Raquel. I can see it in his eyes.
81
00:07:03,581 --> 00:07:05,942
How'd you know they're
genuine national anthems?
82
00:07:06,158 --> 00:07:08,749
'Cos it says so on the box!
What can't speak can't lie.
83
00:07:09,173 --> 00:07:12,815
Well, I've seen umpteen Olympic Games and I ain't
heard half the tunes this chime plays.
84
00:07:13,017 --> 00:07:16,204
I know, but how many
gold medals have Fiji and Borneo won?
85
00:07:17,032 --> 00:07:21,909
If they had in the Olympics pearl-diving and
putting the shrunken head...
86
00:07:24,717 --> 00:07:26,558
you would have heard
their national anthems.
87
00:07:28,214 --> 00:07:31,064
Talking of shrunken heads...
Rodney, I wanna word with you.
88
00:07:33,175 --> 00:07:34,481
What is it?
89
00:07:35,272 --> 00:07:40,682
I was round your place today fitting the new front door.
and I had a little chat with Cassandra.
90
00:07:40,955 --> 00:07:42,646
I think Cassandra's had a
change of heart.
91
00:07:42,857 --> 00:07:44,371
Yeah? What makes you think
that?
92
00:07:44,556 --> 00:07:51,667
I had a chat with her and
she said she still loves you... very very deeply.
93
00:07:52,721 --> 00:07:54,176
Cassandra said that?
94
00:07:54,793 --> 00:08:02,171
Yes. So mush so that she asked me to ask you
if you'd be prepared to meet her tonight.
95
00:08:02,531 --> 00:08:08,796
- Where?
- I don't know, some little restaurant I think it is.
96
00:08:09,335 --> 00:08:10,726
That's not Cassandra's
writing.
97
00:08:10,818 --> 00:08:13,132
That is my writing, that is,
isn't it?
98
00:08:13,347 --> 00:08:17,726
She just told me and I wrote it down on a bit of paper...
What d'you reckon?
99
00:08:18,380 --> 00:08:21,829
Yeah. I've got
nothing better to do.
100
00:08:22,222 --> 00:08:23,775
Good boy,
Lovely Jubbly.
101
00:08:23,823 --> 00:08:26,800
I hope she don't think she can buy me a
bottle of wine and walk straight back in my life.
102
00:08:28,149 --> 00:08:32,765
I don't think she means that Rodney.
Cause I think she wants to woe again.
103
00:08:34,417 --> 00:08:39,251
I've booked the ta... she's booked the table for 7.30,
so you'd better put your skates on.
104
00:08:39,688 --> 00:08:42,511
Yeah, I'll get a shower...
Thanks, Del.
105
00:08:42,906 --> 00:08:45,135
What you thanking me for?
I'm just the messenger boy.
106
00:08:46,544 --> 00:08:48,114
I feel sort of nervous.
107
00:08:48,278 --> 00:08:51,157
What you gotta be nervous
about? She's your wife.
108
00:08:51,192 --> 00:08:56,069
- Yeah. I'll just be myself.
- No. Try to make an impression Rodney!
109
00:09:00,359 --> 00:09:01,806
Are you going out tonight?
110
00:09:01,974 --> 00:09:06,959
I gotta go down the Nag's head, 'cause Mike and Trigger
wanna buy one of my musical doorbells.
111
00:09:07,373 --> 00:09:09,404
D'you want me to drop 'em
off at the pub on me way out?
112
00:09:09,878 --> 00:09:11,965
No, I've gotta go Rodney.
'Cause...
113
00:09:12,276 --> 00:09:16,223
...at the moment Mike and Trigger
don't know they wanna buy one of my musical doorbells.
114
00:09:16,457 --> 00:09:19,008
Then I'm coming back me and help Raquel
rehearse her play.
115
00:09:19,212 --> 00:09:20,334
Oh yeah.
116
00:09:21,671 --> 00:09:26,232
- You are rehearsing a play?
- Raquel's up for some audition.
117
00:09:26,522 --> 00:09:29,175
It's one of Shakespeare's
famous plays.
118
00:09:29,889 --> 00:09:31,704
And you are rehearsing
it with her?
119
00:09:33,511 --> 00:09:35,817
Can't you do it
now before I go out?
120
00:09:37,234 --> 00:09:42,327
Oh please! I could do with a la...
You know, see how it's all done.
121
00:09:42,485 --> 00:09:45,106
You don't understand, Rodney.
You don't understand, do you, eh?
122
00:09:45,273 --> 00:09:50,319
You can't expect an actress of Raquel's
calibre just to start rehearing at the drop of an act!
123
00:09:51,557 --> 00:09:57,175
She's got to search for her character.
It's all about motivation.
124
00:09:57,434 --> 00:10:02,581
It's all about thought and sensitivity,
and that takes time, Rodney...
125
00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:09,109
And apart from that, she's only just put the
rashers in the pan.
126
00:10:24,406 --> 00:10:26,236
Brilliant, innit eh?
Brilliant!
127
00:10:26,761 --> 00:10:32,226
No more of that 'Avon calling' cobblers.
You can have the old stars and stripes.
128
00:10:32,420 --> 00:10:34,659
You expect me to have one
of them things on my front door?
129
00:10:34,694 --> 00:10:38,957
- You're keen, I can tell.
- Del, they're cheep and tacky!
130
00:10:38,992 --> 00:10:40,792
I've got one on my front door!
131
00:10:42,107 --> 00:10:45,857
You most probably have. You'd need
a brain by-pass to have one of them things fitted.
132
00:10:46,321 --> 00:10:48,723
How much you selling them for, Del?
133
00:10:50,540 --> 00:10:56,410
Funny you should say that,
Trig. Because they normally retail at �36.
134
00:10:56,445 --> 00:11:00,629
But you can have it for �13.50
including batteries and fitting.
135
00:11:01,016 --> 00:11:02,579
Go on then. I'll have one.
136
00:11:02,795 --> 00:11:03,920
Good boy. You know it makes sense.
137
00:11:07,626 --> 00:11:09,919
I thought you'd banned
laughing in this pub.
138
00:11:11,154 --> 00:11:12,578
With that sort I have.
139
00:11:12,739 --> 00:11:16,485
See them two blokes over there?
They've been plying her with drinks since six o'clock.
140
00:11:16,764 --> 00:11:18,492
I think they're
fed up with it now.
141
00:11:21,207 --> 00:11:25,418
- Would you call her a cab?
- Yeah, something like that.
142
00:11:26,521 --> 00:11:30,668
No, no. Would you phone for a minicab?
The lady wants to go to Battersea.
143
00:11:30,839 --> 00:11:34,979
Yeah, you leave it to me mate.
I've got an understanding with British Telecom.
144
00:11:35,014 --> 00:11:37,950
I make a phone call and they charge
me for it.
145
00:11:39,389 --> 00:11:44,525
I apologize for him sir, it's his religion.
He's an orthodox tight-arse.
146
00:11:48,022 --> 00:11:49,893
- How is it going, Trig?
- Alright.
147
00:11:50,194 --> 00:11:54,175
I went down to my sister's house
at the weekend. It was her 42nd birthday.
148
00:11:56,029 --> 00:11:57,447
Wait a minute,
hang on.
149
00:11:57,589 --> 00:12:01,198
Your sister's 5 years younger than you.
That'd make her 39.
150
00:12:01,462 --> 00:12:05,444
I know. But she's a typical
woman. She lies about her age.
151
00:12:07,996 --> 00:12:10,775
So how's the family?
152
00:12:11,178 --> 00:12:17,099
Oh mustard. Raquel's boning up for an audition
for a new play. It's as you like it, by Shakespeare.
153
00:12:17,386 --> 00:12:19,055
Yeah? Will it be on telly?
154
00:12:19,090 --> 00:12:23,505
No, no. Not this particular one.
Might probably be in the West End, something like that.
155
00:12:23,765 --> 00:12:26,904
- Hope she don't change.
- Raquel? Why should she change?
156
00:12:27,090 --> 00:12:31,144
Well, they start mixing with all them posh actors
and the next thing you know they've changed.
157
00:12:31,319 --> 00:12:33,029
No, not my Raquel.
158
00:12:33,398 --> 00:12:37,752
My sister went out with an actor once.
He played the cat in Puss-in-Boots.
159
00:12:38,765 --> 00:12:42,298
She suddenly thought she was
more intelligent than the rest of the family.
160
00:12:42,845 --> 00:12:47,429
Yeah, but if you remember, Trig, you had the same
problem with your goldfish...
161
00:12:49,159 --> 00:12:51,386
Work it out Trig, I'l be back in a minute.
162
00:12:57,570 --> 00:12:59,105
How are you?
163
00:13:00,585 --> 00:13:04,800
- How's the little baby?
- Oh he's lovely. He's there with Boyce.
164
00:13:06,058 --> 00:13:09,284
- Good evening, Derek.
- Just saying hello to Marlene.
165
00:13:09,661 --> 00:13:13,883
Yes, I noticed you approaching my wife
and shake her warmly by the 'arris!
166
00:13:15,624 --> 00:13:18,632
Oh shuddup, you miserable old sod.
He's just having a laugh.
167
00:13:19,185 --> 00:13:21,504
Just a giggle, that's all.
Let me buy you a drink, what d'you want?
168
00:13:21,539 --> 00:13:24,503
I'll have a large cognac.
Marlene will have an orange juice.
169
00:13:24,538 --> 00:13:26,901
She's just about to drive my son back home.
170
00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:32,175
Can I have a small orange, a small cognac
and my special please.
171
00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:35,165
I've got some pictures of
the baby here.
172
00:13:37,311 --> 00:13:41,780
- He's champion, ain't he?
- He's got my eyes, ain't he?
173
00:13:41,815 --> 00:13:46,250
- Na! His eyes are all warm and smiley.
- So are mine.
174
00:13:46,438 --> 00:13:49,544
My mum always said you had
vampire eyes.
175
00:13:49,748 --> 00:13:52,361
Well, she should know, the
old bat!
176
00:13:56,359 --> 00:13:58,722
He's got my eyes.
Definitely my...
177
00:13:59,503 --> 00:14:02,381
And look at that, I never noticed that Mike,
he's got your mouth.
178
00:14:04,521 --> 00:14:07,807
That is Rodney's nose
if ever I've seen...
179
00:14:10,173 --> 00:14:13,812
- What are you saying?
- Nothing! Honest.
180
00:14:14,145 --> 00:14:17,052
Talking of Rodney. How is he now?
181
00:14:17,087 --> 00:14:22,135
He's alright, sweetheart. He's taking
Cassandra out tonight - trying to patch things up.
182
00:14:22,724 --> 00:14:25,566
Oh good. I suppose you've
missed him, eh, Del?
183
00:14:25,844 --> 00:14:27,055
Who?
184
00:14:27,090 --> 00:14:31,622
Rodney. I mean, you must
have missed him when he left your partnership.
185
00:14:31,657 --> 00:14:36,487
Oh yeah, I missed him like
George Michael misses Andrew Ridgely.
186
00:14:44,508 --> 00:14:49,339
Won't be a minute...
Don't worry, Tyler, Mummy's coming.
187
00:14:51,340 --> 00:14:54,787
That woman's as soppy as a
lorry-load of monkeys.
188
00:14:55,761 --> 00:14:58,431
I got home this evening
and discovered some salesman
189
00:14:58,466 --> 00:15:02,567
has flogged her a door
bell that plays 36 national anthems.
190
00:15:03,440 --> 00:15:04,786
I got one of them.
191
00:15:05,831 --> 00:15:12,954
Yes, I'd have put money on that, Trig! The difference
is I live in a mock-Georgian mansion in the Kings Avenue.
192
00:15:13,147 --> 00:15:15,641
Our neighbours are not gonna
appreciate being awoken
193
00:15:15,676 --> 00:15:19,545
by the sound of Long live Swaziland
every time the milkman calls.
194
00:15:20,294 --> 00:15:23,382
He still calls round, does he?
195
00:15:23,740 --> 00:15:26,054
I'm off home, Boyce. Don't be too late.
196
00:15:26,310 --> 00:15:31,341
I'll be about an hour. You'll know it's me.
I'll play Mexico forever on the front door.
197
00:15:33,253 --> 00:15:35,702
Wave goodbye to your daddy.
198
00:16:12,163 --> 00:16:16,596
- So, how was Spain?
- Oh, you know, OK.
199
00:16:17,799 --> 00:16:24,274
- Good. Do anything interesting?
- Not really. There was just mummy and I at the villa.
200
00:16:25,176 --> 00:16:27,002
To be honest it was a bit boring.
201
00:16:27,204 --> 00:16:28,445
I can imagine!
202
00:16:30,718 --> 00:16:34,822
No, I don't mean being in your mother's
company is boring! Because she's not a boring person!
203
00:16:35,208 --> 00:16:37,727
- I know what you meant.
- Good...
204
00:16:39,444 --> 00:16:41,851
Excuse me.
Would you want a glass of something?
205
00:16:42,053 --> 00:16:43,053
I'll have the same as you.
206
00:16:43,691 --> 00:16:44,496
It's mineral water.
207
00:16:44,531 --> 00:16:47,967
That makes a nice change.
I heard you'd been drinking heavily.
208
00:16:50,992 --> 00:16:53,585
Heavily! Silly!
209
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:56,742
Can I have a glass of
mineral water, please?
210
00:16:57,710 --> 00:17:00,621
I think your father was
exaggerating slightly, Cassandra.
211
00:17:00,778 --> 00:17:02,666
Daddy didn't tell me. It was Del.
212
00:17:04,197 --> 00:17:09,940
Yeah, well... Maybe I did go a bit overboard
when we left each other.
213
00:17:09,975 --> 00:17:13,173
- You mean, when you left me!
- Same thing.
214
00:17:13,208 --> 00:17:19,529
No it isn't! I didn't go anywhere, Roddy. I was at
the flat waiting for you. You just didn't come home!
215
00:17:20,888 --> 00:17:24,017
We came here to
discuss these things, not to argue!
216
00:17:24,052 --> 00:17:25,372
You started it!
217
00:17:25,407 --> 00:17:29,256
I didn't! I came home
when you was on holiday.
218
00:17:29,291 --> 00:17:31,705
and I found you changed
the locks on the front door!
219
00:17:32,171 --> 00:17:35,758
Yes, I should have told you. But that was no
reason for you to kick the door in!
220
00:17:35,793 --> 00:17:38,206
I didn't kick the door in!
I just sorta...
221
00:17:40,096 --> 00:17:41,424
... that's all!
222
00:17:42,736 --> 00:17:46,536
- Why did you go back there?
- I wanted to surprise you.
223
00:17:46,571 --> 00:17:48,052
You did surprise me!
224
00:17:48,195 --> 00:17:51,271
I didn't expect to come home
to find my husband had kicked the front door in!
225
00:17:58,683 --> 00:18:01,415
Look, I've got as much right
to enter that flat as you Cassandra!
226
00:18:01,450 --> 00:18:05,801
We've got a joint
mortgage, remember, from the bank?
227
00:18:06,308 --> 00:18:08,431
And what about that girl
you took out?
228
00:18:08,969 --> 00:18:12,552
- I didn't take any girl out!
- You asked a girl out!
229
00:18:12,731 --> 00:18:14,703
That was just to make you
jealous.
230
00:18:14,738 --> 00:18:17,307
It was a stupid idea and I never
went through with it.
231
00:18:18,099 --> 00:18:21,792
Although at this moment in time, it strikes me as
being one of my better moves!
232
00:18:22,026 --> 00:18:24,807
Well, this is obviously
going to be a total waste of a good evening!
233
00:18:24,962 --> 00:18:29,305
Just think of all the more interesting things
I could be doing - like washing my hair.
234
00:18:29,453 --> 00:18:34,173
What about me? I've passed up the chance to watch
Del rehearse a Shakespeare play!
235
00:18:34,655 --> 00:18:37,880
People would pay a fortune for something like
that, and I could have it for nothing!
236
00:18:38,342 --> 00:18:41,994
I came here this evening hoping that you and I
could find some common ground
237
00:18:42,029 --> 00:18:45,109
on which we could base our future!
But it's pointless!
238
00:18:45,414 --> 00:18:48,939
I'm glad I found out this early in
our marriage what you're really like!
239
00:18:49,244 --> 00:18:51,721
Your drinking, your bouts of violence!
240
00:18:52,055 --> 00:18:55,444
God, I can just imagine my future with
someone like you!
241
00:18:55,604 --> 00:19:00,947
You really are the silliest, pettiest, most childish
person I've ever had the misfortune to marry.
242
00:19:02,857 --> 00:19:05,120
You fancy me, don't you?
243
00:19:06,551 --> 00:19:12,507
- No, I don't!
- Yes, you do, you little flirt, you!
244
00:19:13,392 --> 00:19:18,773
I hate you! I wanted this to be serious.
I wanted to really tear into you!
245
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:20,870
Oh that's why you asked to
meet me?
246
00:19:20,905 --> 00:19:25,579
I ask to meet you? You must be joking!
Roddy, you're the one who did the asking.
247
00:19:25,614 --> 00:19:31,183
No, Del came home and he said you'd ask to meet me.
And you suggested this venue.
248
00:19:31,335 --> 00:19:36,575
Rodney, Derek brought a message round from you.
He said you wanted to meet me at this rest...!
249
00:19:45,019 --> 00:19:46,717
Git!
250
00:19:49,567 --> 00:19:50,721
So now what do we do?
251
00:19:51,455 --> 00:19:52,839
I dunno...
252
00:19:58,657 --> 00:20:01,544
- D'you fancy showing me yer tan?
- Yeah, alright.
253
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:06,101
- Can I take your order sir?
- No, I've lost my appetite.
254
00:20:06,447 --> 00:20:07,826
Same here.
255
00:20:11,500 --> 00:20:13,386
That's the new key.
256
00:20:13,753 --> 00:20:17,066
I've got to go round to mummy and daddy's.
I've left some of my clothes at their house.
257
00:20:18,479 --> 00:20:20,053
You won't be too long, will yer?
258
00:20:20,223 --> 00:20:23,509
About an hour or so. D'you
remember your way home?
259
00:20:24,382 --> 00:20:25,500
I remember.
260
00:20:25,535 --> 00:20:28,462
In case you get confused,
we've got a new front door.
261
00:20:33,235 --> 00:20:34,873
I'll see you in bed in about half an hour.
262
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:38,311
Sorry!
263
00:20:53,873 --> 00:20:55,741
You're gonna have trouble
with that one, Michael.
264
00:20:55,776 --> 00:20:59,061
Don't I know it? The sooner
that minicab arrives, the better!
265
00:21:00,053 --> 00:21:04,534
Disgusting, innit, eh?
I like a lady to be a lady.
266
00:21:04,717 --> 00:21:09,112
I can't stand a woman being drunk, staggering round a pub,
dropping her crisps all over the place.
267
00:21:09,516 --> 00:21:15,548
- I remember your mum.
- What d'you mean by that?
268
00:21:15,983 --> 00:21:17,851
She was a lady, weren't she?
269
00:21:20,764 --> 00:21:27,185
My mum was a lady. She was the first
woman in Peckham to smoke menthol cigarettes.
270
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:35,329
Look at the state of that!
I wouldn't be seen dead with that!
271
00:21:35,488 --> 00:21:37,499
That alone admits knowing it!
272
00:21:45,665 --> 00:21:47,223
Blimey!
273
00:21:49,054 --> 00:21:52,107
How are you, darling?
274
00:21:53,655 --> 00:21:55,195
Oh, triffic!
275
00:21:55,715 --> 00:22:02,063
- How long's it been?
- How long's what been?
276
00:22:02,533 --> 00:22:07,666
- Since we last saw each other?
- Have we met?
277
00:22:08,800 --> 00:22:16,235
- You don't remember me? It's Trudy!
- Trudy? Were we engaged?
278
00:22:18,357 --> 00:22:20,596
You ain't half changed, sweetheart.
279
00:22:20,785 --> 00:22:25,815
Ain't we all, love? Hang on a minute,
I'll just go and get me drink.
280
00:22:28,512 --> 00:22:30,412
I've gone right off that hot-dog, Mike.
281
00:22:31,769 --> 00:22:35,421
Del, we made it up.
Me and Cassy, we're back together!
282
00:22:35,958 --> 00:22:37,246
Well done, brother.
283
00:22:38,236 --> 00:22:40,711
Mike, there's a minicab
outside for somebody.
284
00:22:40,746 --> 00:22:45,960
- That'll be for your ex-fiancee, Derek.
Get her out, will yer?
285
00:22:45,995 --> 00:22:48,241
Yes, yes, gimme a minute.
286
00:22:48,276 --> 00:22:50,568
Del, it's not another fiancee!
287
00:22:50,869 --> 00:22:53,257
Sorry Rodney, I was very young at the time!
288
00:22:53,891 --> 00:22:55,343
Cassandra, she's not out there in the van,
is she?
289
00:22:55,513 --> 00:22:57,701
No. She's gone round her mum and dad's place,
pick something up.
290
00:22:57,736 --> 00:23:00,424
I just came arpund to tell you
that I won't be home tonight.
291
00:23:00,459 --> 00:23:06,232
- What you mean Rodney is, you will be home tonight.
- Oh yeah, my real home!
292
00:23:07,867 --> 00:23:11,475
There's your key back.
Thanks for having me...
293
00:23:13,379 --> 00:23:15,199
It was a pleasure.
294
00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:17,676
Cassandra didn't ask to
meet me, did she?
295
00:23:18,740 --> 00:23:22,918
- Na. I lied.
- You're a conniving git!
296
00:23:25,159 --> 00:23:26,441
It worked though, didn't it?
297
00:23:30,262 --> 00:23:32,175
I've just seen Raquel and Albert
getting off the bus.
298
00:23:32,210 --> 00:23:36,616
Raquel's coming here? She can't see me with that Trudy.
You know how jealous she gets!
299
00:23:39,198 --> 00:23:41,648
Tell me everything that's
been happening!
300
00:23:44,390 --> 00:23:46,659
I'd love to, sweetheart.
But your cab has just arrived.
301
00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:53,442
Why don't you come back to my place?
We can talk about old times.
302
00:23:55,022 --> 00:23:59,252
I'd love to, but I've got to stay here
and talk some bussiness with these gentlemen.
303
00:23:59,415 --> 00:24:01,570
Rodney, will you escort this
lady to her cab?
304
00:24:02,895 --> 00:24:08,581
I'll see you then, Del.
D'you come in this pub often?
305
00:24:08,747 --> 00:24:11,234
No, I've never been in here before in my life,
have I Mike?
306
00:24:11,269 --> 00:24:12,885
That's right.
307
00:24:21,183 --> 00:24:25,781
Is that my car? Is this a red car?
It's my car, it's lovely.
308
00:24:30,297 --> 00:24:32,141
Mate! Can you open the door?
309
00:24:59,541 --> 00:25:05,031
Cass! Unlock the door!
Cass, we've gotta talk!
310
00:25:07,261 --> 00:25:09,775
That bird has nothing to do with me!
311
00:25:09,810 --> 00:25:15,819
She was some old sort Del was
engaged to years ago! Cass, at least let's talk!
312
00:25:36,295 --> 00:25:41,043
By no means sir, Time travels in diverse places,
with diverse persons,
313
00:25:41,204 --> 00:25:45,049
I'll tell you who time ambles
withal, who time trots withal,
314
00:25:45,084 --> 00:25:48,290
who time gallops withal, and who he stands
still withal.
315
00:25:48,325 --> 00:25:50,150
That's bloody good, Raquel.
316
00:25:50,444 --> 00:25:52,100
Orlando.
317
00:25:57,607 --> 00:25:59,742
I prithee, who doth he trot
withal!
318
00:26:00,400 --> 00:26:02,597
- What are you doing?
- I'm acting.
319
00:26:03,185 --> 00:26:05,372
Well, don't! Just read it!
320
00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:12,897
I prithee, who doth he trot
withal? That alright?
321
00:26:13,496 --> 00:26:16,879
Marry, he trots hard with a young maid,
between the contract of her marriage,
322
00:26:16,914 --> 00:26:24,094
and the day it is solemnis'd, if the interim
be but a se'nnight, time's pace is so hard.
323
00:26:24,347 --> 00:26:28,054
That it seems the length of seven year.
324
00:26:28,488 --> 00:26:31,103
- When you gotta learn this by?
- Tomorrow morning.
325
00:26:33,882 --> 00:26:37,071
Oh Del! He's right!
I'm gonna make a real mess of this audition.
326
00:26:37,106 --> 00:26:39,770
No, you're not!
She's gonna be terrific - isn't she, Albert?
327
00:26:39,805 --> 00:26:42,905
'Course you are. And even
if you're not, what have you lost?
328
00:26:42,940 --> 00:26:44,322
What do you mean, what
have I lost?
329
00:26:44,357 --> 00:26:49,237
Well, it's only a bunch of nancy actors doing a play
that no one can make head nor tail of!
330
00:26:50,447 --> 00:26:53,307
There! That makes
you feel much better, dunnit, eh?
331
00:26:54,053 --> 00:26:59,325
You dozy old twonk! This is authentic culture.
You just shut your gob, will yer?
332
00:27:00,644 --> 00:27:03,513
- Shall we continue sweetheart?
- You sure you don't mind doing this?
333
00:27:03,548 --> 00:27:07,258
Of course not! I'm enjoying meself.
This is a blinding play.
334
00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:10,613
- Thanks. Should we start at the beginning?
- No, no. Let's go on a bit, just move on.
335
00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:16,433
Saved by the door bell.
336
00:27:21,972 --> 00:27:24,085
What are you doing here?
I thought you were staying at yer own place tonight.
337
00:27:24,473 --> 00:27:26,028
We've broken up.
338
00:27:27,702 --> 00:27:34,777
Broken up? What are you talking about?
You've only been together an hour! What happened?
339
00:27:34,812 --> 00:27:39,721
She saw me standing outside the Nag's Head
with my arm round bloody Trudy!
340
00:27:39,956 --> 00:27:41,619
You had your arm round
another woman?
341
00:27:41,775 --> 00:27:44,916
Well, no wonder she's thrown you out!
It serves you right, doesn't it, Rodney?
342
00:27:45,106 --> 00:27:48,550
Trudy was nothing to do with me!
She was the old sort that Del...
343
00:27:57,894 --> 00:27:59,563
Just a friend!
344
00:27:59,953 --> 00:28:04,437
Oh just a friend, eh?
How many times have I heard that?
345
00:28:07,053 --> 00:28:09,890
I've got no pity for you,
in fact you disgust me!
346
00:28:10,031 --> 00:28:12,702
It wouldn't do you any
harm to take a leaf out of Del's book.
347
00:28:16,104 --> 00:28:21,258
- I'm gonna study this in the bedroom.
- Alright sweetheart. I'll see you a little later.
348
00:28:23,855 --> 00:28:28,259
Don't you look at me in that tone of voice, Rodney.
How was I to know that Cassandra would see you.
349
00:28:28,294 --> 00:28:30,698
Anyway, what was you doing with
your arm round Trudy?
350
00:28:30,733 --> 00:28:33,177
Stopping her from falling
flat on her bleedin' face!
351
00:28:33,926 --> 00:28:36,049
D'you reckon Cassandra'll
tell her dad?
352
00:28:36,084 --> 00:28:38,919
No. She'll keep it personal
between her and Rodney.
353
00:28:47,005 --> 00:28:49,649
Trotters Internaional Traders PLC...
354
00:28:51,994 --> 00:28:54,785
- Don't say I'm here!
- No, sorry, he's not in.
355
00:28:55,027 --> 00:28:57,392
- Don't say I'm out!
- You just said...
356
00:28:57,774 --> 00:29:01,795
What I mean, he's not in the room.
He's in the bathroom.
357
00:29:03,064 --> 00:29:05,212
Alright. I'll take a message.
358
00:29:12,095 --> 00:29:14,351
He wants to see you in work tomorrow,
first thing.
359
00:29:15,630 --> 00:29:19,062
It's alright Rodney, don't worry.
It's probably something to do with the business.
360
00:29:20,456 --> 00:29:23,925
I'm gonna go off and help Raquel rehearse her play.
361
00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:31,452
If you hear any funny noises, don't worry.
It'll be me rehearsing my speech for Agincourt.
362
00:29:34,829 --> 00:29:37,647
- Alan is going to sack me.
- He can't sack you.
363
00:29:38,073 --> 00:29:40,611
Of course he can. He owns the firm.
364
00:29:40,808 --> 00:29:43,042
That printing shop of his
is overloaded with work.
365
00:29:43,077 --> 00:29:47,485
He's got orders coming out of his ears.
Everyone's working overtime and weekends.
366
00:29:47,790 --> 00:29:50,121
So what are you saying?
He'll wait 'til the rush is over?
367
00:29:50,294 --> 00:29:51,376
During the war...
368
00:29:51,411 --> 00:29:54,693
Oh no Unc, please.
Not the U-boat and the fjord again!
369
00:29:54,728 --> 00:29:57,046
... we docked at Valletta,
on our way to Greece.
370
00:29:57,081 --> 00:30:01,271
We had a chief communications
officer on board, Tubby Fox.
371
00:30:01,599 --> 00:30:03,837
Funny name for a ship, innit?
372
00:30:04,683 --> 00:30:09,601
That was the officer's name!
Now, Tubby liked to live it up once in a while.
373
00:30:09,636 --> 00:30:14,587
One night he was on duty and the captain
come in in the radio room �
374
00:30:14,622 --> 00:30:18,141
and caught him with a Maltese girl in one hand a
and a bottle of gin in the other.
375
00:30:18,338 --> 00:30:21,538
He put him under arrest and
started court-martial proceedings.
376
00:30:21,573 --> 00:30:25,031
Albert - is there any point
to this story or are you just rambling?
377
00:30:25,066 --> 00:30:31,749
The navy had a wartime rule - only commissioned
officers were allowed to control the radio room.
378
00:30:31,784 --> 00:30:33,341
Yeah, you're just rambling.
379
00:30:33,575 --> 00:30:38,618
Now, Tubby was the only communications officer on
board. So d'you know what he did?
380
00:30:38,931 --> 00:30:40,395
I don't care what he did!
381
00:30:40,430 --> 00:30:42,755
He resigned his commission.
Which meant?
382
00:30:43,109 --> 00:30:44,366
I don't know.
383
00:30:44,401 --> 00:30:50,730
It meant the ship couldn't sail! The captain had no
choice but to refuse to accept Tubby's resignation!
384
00:30:50,765 --> 00:30:55,840
Once he'd done that, he couldn't proceed with the
court martial. It was checkmate.
385
00:30:55,875 --> 00:31:00,345
I see! So they needed him
more than he needed them?
386
00:31:00,380 --> 00:31:05,589
Exactly! What I'm trying
to say is: realise your own importance.
387
00:31:05,624 --> 00:31:09,140
Tubby Fox did, and he went on to
command his own submarine-hunter.
388
00:31:09,921 --> 00:31:14,875
Yeah! You're right! Cheers, Unc.
389
00:31:18,785 --> 00:31:26,117
He died in Palermo harbour.
Dropped a depth-charge - in 9 foot of water.
390
00:32:24,543 --> 00:32:25,713
There's a letter for you waiting on the desk.
391
00:32:25,748 --> 00:32:28,818
Yeah? I'll deal with it later.
I wanted to see you.
392
00:32:29,653 --> 00:32:31,491
Yeah, Del said you wanted to
see me.
393
00:32:31,526 --> 00:32:36,103
Look, er... You know that lunch we had with Ron Carey
from the Harvey's mail-order people?
394
00:32:36,636 --> 00:32:38,288
Vaguely. It was months ago.
395
00:32:38,323 --> 00:32:42,530
- Well, we've got the contract!
- You're kidding!
396
00:32:43,077 --> 00:32:47,409
A three-year deal. We've all their junk mail,
their catalogues and all their office stationary.
397
00:32:47,621 --> 00:32:48,896
That's massive.
398
00:32:48,931 --> 00:32:53,312
You're telling me! I think we can safely say
we'll be having roast turkey again this Christmas.
399
00:32:53,347 --> 00:32:54,993
Yeah, but how are we
gonna handle it?
400
00:32:55,028 --> 00:32:58,138
We've barely got the staff or
room to cope with our present workload.
401
00:32:58,173 --> 00:33:00,828
We take on more staff and
move to a bigger workshop.
402
00:33:01,194 --> 00:33:02,331
That's what I wanted to see you about.
403
00:33:02,366 --> 00:33:04,701
I've been looking at some new premises.
I'd like you to see 'em.
404
00:33:06,839 --> 00:33:11,271
- Where are they?
- You know that new industrial estate down at Nunhead...
405
00:33:12,838 --> 00:33:16,247
- Alan. About last night.
- Last night?
406
00:33:17,840 --> 00:33:19,846
What happened with
me and Cassandra.
407
00:33:20,331 --> 00:33:24,042
Oh that? Well, needless to say.
Pam and I were delighted with the news.
408
00:33:24,231 --> 00:33:25,456
Delighted?
409
00:33:25,491 --> 00:33:27,853
Cassandra came home and told
us that you two were back together.
410
00:33:27,888 --> 00:33:32,048
Oh yeah! I wanted to
talk to you about what happened after that.
411
00:33:32,895 --> 00:33:38,302
Rodney, I'm a man of the
world but I'm also Cassandra's father.
412
00:33:38,533 --> 00:33:42,071
I don't wanna know what happened
after that! D'you know what I mean?
413
00:34:05,896 --> 00:34:09,074
- Alright, sweetheart?
- What are you doing here?
414
00:34:09,759 --> 00:34:14,523
Oh well, you know. I just happened to be passing.
I thought I'd pop in and give you a lift home.
415
00:34:15,636 --> 00:34:22,471
Del, this is Adrian, he's the director.
Adrian, this is Derek, he's... he's a friend.
416
00:34:22,723 --> 00:34:23,773
Pleased to meet you.
417
00:34:23,808 --> 00:34:27,999
And you, Ade, and you.
So how'd she do?
418
00:34:28,034 --> 00:34:31,350
- At the audition? Very well.
- Cushty.
419
00:34:32,527 --> 00:34:35,036
- I told you it would be no trouble.
- You shouldn't ask questions like that!
420
00:34:35,071 --> 00:34:37,058
Oh shuddup.
You're too picky, that's your problem.
421
00:34:37,093 --> 00:34:40,445
- What can I get you?
- A small dry sherry, please, Adrian.
422
00:34:40,480 --> 00:34:42,190
Yeah, same here.
423
00:34:43,481 --> 00:34:49,022
And I'll have a kir.
So are you in the business, Derek?
424
00:34:49,934 --> 00:34:52,912
No... I'm an importer-exporter.
425
00:34:52,947 --> 00:34:58,908
Fine antiques, quality objets d'art,
mobile telephones, that sorta thing.
426
00:34:59,376 --> 00:35:04,053
While we're on the subject, Adrian,
I happen to do be doing a very nice line...
427
00:35:04,088 --> 00:35:09,520
...in computerised communications systems
which I believe could be right up your street.
428
00:35:10,538 --> 00:35:14,817
It's a musical doorbell.
When you press the button and...
429
00:35:15,065 --> 00:35:16,725
Derek, this is Jules.
430
00:35:18,985 --> 00:35:22,691
Jules is our set designer.
Jules, this is Derek, Raquel's friend.
431
00:35:23,634 --> 00:35:27,237
- Hi.
- Alright?
432
00:35:28,415 --> 00:35:31,383
Gimme some vitamin C.
I feel absolutely wrecked.
433
00:35:32,985 --> 00:35:34,956
Let's go and sit down at the table,
shall we?
434
00:35:35,486 --> 00:35:36,633
Fine. I'll just grab some food.
435
00:35:37,167 --> 00:35:39,336
- I feel a bit peckish as well.
- Yeah, so do I.
436
00:35:42,296 --> 00:35:44,926
Go and sit at the table.
I need to talk to him.
437
00:35:44,961 --> 00:35:46,525
Alright!
438
00:36:03,239 --> 00:36:06,913
They think I can design
magnificent stage sets on peanuts!
439
00:36:07,568 --> 00:36:10,886
I mean, these people don't have a budget.
It's more like a whip-round.
440
00:36:11,473 --> 00:36:14,801
Yeah, know what you mean.
It's a bark, innit?
441
00:36:15,693 --> 00:36:17,411
Feel my hands.
442
00:36:17,446 --> 00:36:19,578
Feel my hands. Go on, feel 'em.
443
00:36:21,824 --> 00:36:23,542
Oh yeah, 'orrible, ain't they?
444
00:36:23,745 --> 00:36:28,547
Those are callouses! I'm the set designer yet
I have to help unload the lorries.
445
00:36:28,582 --> 00:36:31,185
Did I go to art college
for three years for that?
446
00:36:31,471 --> 00:36:33,208
- 'Course not!
- No.
447
00:36:37,561 --> 00:36:41,989
- See the match the other night?
- Match? What match?
448
00:36:42,024 --> 00:36:46,345
- Between England and Yugoslavia.
- No, I'm not really interested in football.
449
00:36:46,380 --> 00:36:47,603
Well, you're lucky! You were dead lucky!
450
00:36:47,638 --> 00:36:52,446
Some of the decision that ref made were criminal.
We was robbed, we was robbed!
451
00:36:52,481 --> 00:36:57,723
They showed the match on Grandstand. I said to my
brother they should have shown it on Crimewatch.
452
00:37:00,275 --> 00:37:04,751
I tell you what I did watch.
That Elizabeth Taylor film 'Cat On A Hot Tin Roof'.
453
00:37:05,419 --> 00:37:07,526
Isn't she the most gorgeous creature ever?
454
00:37:07,561 --> 00:37:10,551
Yeah, pity she got fat, innit?
455
00:37:11,359 --> 00:37:17,367
Derek, her bone structure! And her eyes!
Her eyes simply sparkle. And her hair.
456
00:37:17,402 --> 00:37:19,499
Her hair just cascades everywhere.
457
00:37:47,975 --> 00:37:53,451
You wanna see these new premises Alan's going after.
They're cosmic! They're modern, they're big.
458
00:37:53,486 --> 00:37:57,322
You've told us about 30
times already. I've never seen the place.
459
00:37:57,357 --> 00:38:00,517
But I feel like I could give you
a guided tour.
460
00:38:00,552 --> 00:38:04,576
Well, I'm excited!
I tell you, Alan is going places.
461
00:38:06,182 --> 00:38:07,795
He is not the only one
that's going places!
462
00:38:09,218 --> 00:38:11,218
Raqel! I'm gonna get all the hounds
come down for your first night.
463
00:38:14,165 --> 00:38:15,301
Oh sorry. What d'you say?
464
00:38:15,336 --> 00:38:17,348
I said, I'll get all the
boys come down for the first night.
465
00:38:17,383 --> 00:38:21,980
Trigger, Boycie, Rodney, me, the lot.
When you come on stage, we'll give you a big cheer.
466
00:38:24,422 --> 00:38:28,043
That's gonna make Adrian think
you've got a fan club already.
467
00:38:28,971 --> 00:38:30,416
OK. Thanks.
468
00:38:30,738 --> 00:38:33,422
Well, cheer up, girl.
You got the part, didn't you?
469
00:38:33,688 --> 00:38:35,179
Yeah, I got the part, Albert.
470
00:38:35,214 --> 00:38:38,897
- There you go, then. Here you are sweetheart.
- Not for me, Del.
471
00:38:38,932 --> 00:38:41,685
Come on sweetheart.
To celebrate your job, eh?
472
00:38:41,720 --> 00:38:43,570
I've got this letter to read.
It's got all the details of the play.
473
00:38:43,605 --> 00:38:47,133
I'd like to read it with a clear head.
I'll see you in a little while.
474
00:38:50,691 --> 00:38:52,330
What's up with her?
475
00:38:54,592 --> 00:38:58,017
Ever since she's come back from that audition
with that Adrian and all them other actors...
476
00:38:58,183 --> 00:38:59,569
...she's been different.
477
00:39:00,365 --> 00:39:03,033
I don't know,
maybe we embarass her or something.
478
00:39:03,068 --> 00:39:05,181
Raquel's not like that!
479
00:39:05,216 --> 00:39:08,976
You don't know, Rodney.
A cravat and a codpiece can turn a girl's head.
480
00:39:15,596 --> 00:39:21,529
Hello... Alan. I've just been telling Del and Albert
about our new premises. I was thinking...
481
00:39:22,578 --> 00:39:24,342
What letter?
482
00:39:24,953 --> 00:39:31,388
Oh that letter. Let me explain.
It was a token - a gesture.
483
00:39:32,842 --> 00:39:37,820
The situation that existed then between Cassandra and I
may have been causing you some embarrassment,
484
00:39:37,855 --> 00:39:40,410
and I wanted you to know
that I was aware of it...
485
00:39:41,390 --> 00:39:46,912
Yeah... Mm... Fine...
486
00:39:48,108 --> 00:39:49,385
Just let me get this straight, Alan.
487
00:39:49,936 --> 00:39:54,188
When you say you've accepted my letter of resignation,
what exactly do you mean?
488
00:39:56,913 --> 00:40:01,746
I see yes. Thank you.
489
00:40:07,375 --> 00:40:12,394
- You handed in your resignation?
- I thought it was best.
490
00:40:13,232 --> 00:40:16,386
You stupid little plonker!
491
00:40:16,990 --> 00:40:21,380
That's the bestest job you've ever had,
or ever likely to have, and you've chucked it away!
492
00:40:21,604 --> 00:40:28,440
Listen. I am in control of my own destiny! I am my own man,
I make my own decisions in this world.
493
00:40:28,475 --> 00:40:30,096
But why did you resign?
494
00:40:30,131 --> 00:40:34,818
- Because he told me to!
- Me? I never said a word.
495
00:40:34,853 --> 00:40:38,885
You told me about that bloke on the boat who put in
his resignation to get out of a court martial.
496
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,097
- But that was different, son.
- How?
497
00:40:41,132 --> 00:40:43,226
Well, he got away with it!
498
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,790
I didn't think Alan would
accept my resignation!
499
00:40:48,925 --> 00:40:50,362
But he did!
500
00:40:50,397 --> 00:40:55,075
I know he did!
I thought I was too important to the firm.
501
00:40:55,110 --> 00:40:56,618
But you weren't!
502
00:40:56,653 --> 00:40:59,010
I know I weren't!
Bloody know that now, don't I?
503
00:40:59,045 --> 00:41:05,539
Alright, calm down. I'll give Alan a bell,
see if I can get him to change his mind for you.
504
00:41:05,574 --> 00:41:08,750
It's too late. He's already found
somebody to replace me.
505
00:41:08,785 --> 00:41:11,880
- That was bloody quick, weren't it?
- It's my assistant.
506
00:41:12,177 --> 00:41:14,905
Your assistant?
What, that little kid?
507
00:41:16,843 --> 00:41:20,426
That snotty nosed Herbert
who's just left school?
508
00:41:21,905 --> 00:41:25,409
- Elvis?
- Yes.
509
00:41:26,248 --> 00:41:28,552
He's doing what you
were doing?
510
00:41:29,655 --> 00:41:31,263
Elvis, he ain't daft.
511
00:41:31,531 --> 00:41:35,104
There's no worry about him
winning Blockbusters though, is there?
512
00:41:36,660 --> 00:41:40,885
He's the one who thought
sugar diabetes was a Welsh flyweight.
513
00:41:42,988 --> 00:41:49,055
Look, he's just filling the gap until Alan finds
someone of my expertise to take over.
514
00:41:49,231 --> 00:41:52,314
It's just strange they
should replace you with a silly boy.
515
00:41:52,467 --> 00:41:54,006
Why don't you just stay out of this, Albert!
516
00:41:55,837 --> 00:41:57,668
You can't talk to an old hero like that!
517
00:41:57,703 --> 00:42:00,421
Well, he's getting on my bloody nerves,
going on and on.
518
00:42:00,639 --> 00:42:02,784
It's your own fault Rodney,
you got noone else to blame!
519
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:07,228
You got a lovely wife, a lovely flat
and the bestest job in the whole world - and you blew it!
520
00:42:11,594 --> 00:42:14,057
Who was that bloke you was
having lunch with today?
521
00:42:18,862 --> 00:42:21,704
That was just one of Raquel's
artistic friends.
522
00:42:22,435 --> 00:42:24,996
- What bloke's that then?
- Shut up, stay out of this Albert.
523
00:42:47,082 --> 00:42:49,409
- OK?
- Yeah, fine.
524
00:42:50,342 --> 00:42:53,083
- Read yer letter about the play then?
- Yeah, I've read it.
525
00:42:57,427 --> 00:43:01,617
Look, sweetheart. If we've had a row,
could you at least tell me about it?
526
00:43:01,652 --> 00:43:03,089
We haven't had a row!
Everything's fine.
527
00:43:03,124 --> 00:43:08,689
It's not fine. Ever since you came back from that audition
with that Adrian and Jules and all them others...
528
00:43:08,724 --> 00:43:12,286
you've been different towards me.
I mean, what is it?
529
00:43:12,321 --> 00:43:16,130
Am I not as good as your actor cronies?
Do I embarrass you or what?
530
00:43:16,165 --> 00:43:17,572
Don't be stupid, Del!
531
00:43:17,607 --> 00:43:21,996
I am not being stupid.
'Cause I saw your face, you see.
532
00:43:22,216 --> 00:43:29,090
I saw your face when Adrian asked me about Hamlet
and I said I preferred Castellas.
533
00:43:41,449 --> 00:43:44,088
So when d'you start rehearsings?
534
00:43:44,999 --> 00:43:47,139
The tour doesn't start for
another three months.
535
00:43:49,482 --> 00:43:54,470
Gives you plenty of time to meet some more of
them intelligent, sensitive actor people, don't it?
536
00:43:54,505 --> 00:43:56,480
Derek, will you get it
into your thick skull:
537
00:43:56,515 --> 00:44:00,480
I'm not trying to meet intelligent and sensitive
people, I'm happy with you!
538
00:44:03,857 --> 00:44:11,919
So what's the problem then?
Tour? Did you say this thing was a tour?
539
00:44:11,954 --> 00:44:14,563
That's right.
It's a nine-week tour of the country.
540
00:44:14,926 --> 00:44:22,116
I didn't know that, did I? I didn't know that.
I thought it was a play, that you put on local.
541
00:44:24,045 --> 00:44:32,494
I see it that now. That's it, is it?
The lurid of the big theatres!
542
00:44:32,529 --> 00:44:35,211
The applause, the applause,
the show must go on!
543
00:44:36,315 --> 00:44:38,153
We're not appearing in theatres.
544
00:44:39,419 --> 00:44:42,027
Well, if you're not appearing in theatres,
then where are you appearing?
545
00:44:42,062 --> 00:44:44,648
- Schools!
- Schools?
546
00:44:44,683 --> 00:44:48,627
Yes, schools. It's a co-project
between the Education and the Arts Councils.
547
00:44:48,847 --> 00:44:51,366
We're supposed to take
Shakespeare to the inner cities.
548
00:44:51,594 --> 00:44:53,460
Imagine what it
might have done for me.
549
00:44:55,105 --> 00:44:57,540
Could have ended up
being a dinner lady.
550
00:45:00,241 --> 00:45:05,600
Don't become like all the others, Del.
Putting down every little dream I have.
551
00:45:09,138 --> 00:45:15,637
I'm not trying to put your dreams down, sweetheart.
You know I'd never do that.
552
00:45:22,655 --> 00:45:30,350
I don't want you to leave me!
I'm frightened you might not come back!
553
00:45:32,170 --> 00:45:34,920
I'm not going anywhere, Del.
I'm turning the offer down.
554
00:45:37,674 --> 00:45:44,129
You can't do that, sweetheart.
This is a golden opportunity.
555
00:45:44,693 --> 00:45:48,282
Don't worry about me.
I'm just being a bit selfish, that's all.
556
00:45:48,317 --> 00:45:53,751
- I can't do that tour, Del.
- Why not?
557
00:45:55,486 --> 00:45:57,158
Because I've read the play
again and again
558
00:45:57,193 --> 00:46:02,491
and at no point does Shakespeare
mention that Rosalind - is pregnant.
559
00:46:03,884 --> 00:46:06,756
Well, that's poetic licence innit?
560
00:46:20,124 --> 00:46:22,292
Did you say you was pregnant?
561
00:46:24,162 --> 00:46:26,849
I've done all the tests and everything.
It's certain.
562
00:46:30,107 --> 00:46:31,713
Blimey!
563
00:46:33,113 --> 00:46:39,030
- Are you angry?
- Angry?
564
00:46:56,930 --> 00:47:01,659
Albert! Get the biggest bottle of champagne you can find
and bring it in. Come on, quick!
565
00:47:01,892 --> 00:47:06,366
Rodney! Get out of bed you lazy git!
Quick! Come here!
566
00:47:07,132 --> 00:47:09,335
Tonight we celebrate!
567
00:47:10,205 --> 00:47:11,583
You're not angry?
568
00:47:12,537 --> 00:47:17,873
Me angry? How can I be angry,
I'm gonna to be a daddy!
569
00:47:20,822 --> 00:47:22,571
I wanna phone everybody I know:
570
00:47:22,606 --> 00:47:26,598
I wanna have a party!
I'm gonna put on a fireworks, the biggest fireworks!
571
00:47:27,667 --> 00:47:32,019
- What's all the fuss about?
- Calm down, calm down you two!
572
00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,261
You're gonna answer one
simple question, right?
573
00:47:38,413 --> 00:47:40,619
How many people do you
see standing there?
574
00:47:42,449 --> 00:47:43,947
One.
575
00:47:47,904 --> 00:47:49,702
I see two.
576
00:47:56,872 --> 00:48:00,377
- You know what this means, don' t you Albert?
- No.
577
00:48:01,629 --> 00:48:06,598
Either Raquel's pregnant
or Del's pissed.
578
00:48:06,648 --> 00:48:11,198
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