All language subtitles for Maron s04e06 Sobriety Bush.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian Download
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,553 --> 00:00:05,321 Wait, what's going on, Andy? 2 00:00:05,362 --> 00:00:06,883 It's time for you to go. 3 00:00:06,885 --> 00:00:07,992 What are you talking about?! 4 00:00:07,994 --> 00:00:09,467 You said I could stay a few days. 5 00:00:09,469 --> 00:00:11,459 Yeah, a few days is a few days. 6 00:00:11,461 --> 00:00:13,266 You've been here for two weeks. 7 00:00:13,325 --> 00:00:15,632 Well, what am I supposed to do? Where am I supposed to go, Andy? 8 00:00:15,633 --> 00:00:17,766 That's not my problem. I've done my part. 9 00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:19,094 Oh, come on, man! 10 00:00:19,096 --> 00:00:21,266 I thought you... I thought we were friends. 11 00:00:21,267 --> 00:00:23,166 It's not even you, it's Tess. 12 00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,532 She has trouble being sexually intimate 13 00:00:25,608 --> 00:00:27,586 - when there's someone else in the house. - Oh, my God! 14 00:00:27,602 --> 00:00:29,664 Could you not put that image in my head? 15 00:00:29,666 --> 00:00:32,299 I mean, I'm trying to stay sober here, you know? 16 00:00:32,300 --> 00:00:35,317 Yeah, you know, let me give you a little advice, Marc... it's life advice. 17 00:00:35,319 --> 00:00:38,066 Traditionally, when people help you, 18 00:00:38,067 --> 00:00:39,499 you're supposed to say, "Thank you." 19 00:00:39,500 --> 00:00:41,111 Mm-hmm. Here. 20 00:00:41,142 --> 00:00:43,266 I'll give you a little life advice, Andy. 21 00:00:43,306 --> 00:00:44,904 Lose the oversize shirts. 22 00:00:44,944 --> 00:00:46,758 They're not working for you anymore. 23 00:00:46,797 --> 00:00:51,432 - Thanks. Thank you very much. - Sure, fatty. Yeah. 24 00:00:51,533 --> 00:00:52,769 We're free! 25 00:00:52,771 --> 00:00:55,749 ["The Poisoned Well" plays] 26 00:00:56,277 --> 00:00:57,896 All: Keep coming back. 27 00:00:57,898 --> 00:01:00,697 It works if you work it, so work it... 28 00:01:00,763 --> 00:01:02,296 you're worth it. 29 00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:06,263 30 00:01:18,496 --> 00:01:19,732 What's up, big daddy? 31 00:01:19,733 --> 00:01:20,898 How you feeling, man? 32 00:01:20,970 --> 00:01:22,276 Hey, I saw you throw your hand up earlier. 33 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:24,031 You looking for a sponsor? 34 00:01:24,086 --> 00:01:25,759 Uh, you know, I'm just coming back in. 35 00:01:25,791 --> 00:01:27,701 Yeah, I had 16 years, went out... 36 00:01:27,776 --> 00:01:30,510 It's cool, man. Don't worry about it. Uh, I'll be your sponsor. 37 00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:32,592 I'm Chuck. 38 00:01:32,633 --> 00:01:34,199 - Ah! - Okay! 39 00:01:34,200 --> 00:01:36,551 But my boys call me "the boss." 40 00:01:36,606 --> 00:01:39,366 Boys, big daddy! 41 00:01:39,367 --> 00:01:41,032 Hey. 42 00:01:41,213 --> 00:01:43,366 Sobriety's a blast, man. 43 00:01:43,367 --> 00:01:45,632 All right, well, you know, I'm... I'm sort of, uh, 44 00:01:45,633 --> 00:01:48,445 talking to another dude, so, you know, I'm... 45 00:01:48,447 --> 00:01:49,266 I'm gonna... 46 00:01:49,267 --> 00:01:52,050 - I get it, man. You're scared. - Yeah. 47 00:01:52,081 --> 00:01:53,766 But you want to know what fear is? 48 00:01:53,884 --> 00:01:56,866 False evidence appearing real. 49 00:01:56,867 --> 00:01:58,799 Yeah, yeah, I've heard that one. 50 00:01:58,800 --> 00:01:59,884 Oh. 51 00:01:59,931 --> 00:02:02,111 Well, apparently, you've got all the answers, then, man. 52 00:02:02,142 --> 00:02:05,199 I don't know, man. You're the boss. 53 00:02:05,200 --> 00:02:07,083 Gentlemen... 54 00:02:07,114 --> 00:02:08,614 it's taco time. 55 00:02:09,747 --> 00:02:10,929 Fonzie. 56 00:02:13,207 --> 00:02:14,464 All right. 57 00:02:16,938 --> 00:02:18,812 Whoa. Marc Maron. 58 00:02:18,843 --> 00:02:21,032 - Hey, how you doing, man? - Hey. 59 00:02:21,111 --> 00:02:23,832 Hey, I saw you raised your hand at newcomer time. 60 00:02:23,891 --> 00:02:25,732 There's no shame in that game. 61 00:02:25,830 --> 00:02:27,466 You need a sponsor, right? 62 00:02:27,467 --> 00:02:29,200 Uh, I don't know. I guess. 63 00:02:29,202 --> 00:02:32,297 Well, we can call it a temporary sponsorship for now. 64 00:02:32,343 --> 00:02:34,999 You know, we'll try it out, take it for a spin, 65 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:38,066 see how she takes the corners. 66 00:02:38,067 --> 00:02:39,326 Mm-hmm. 67 00:02:39,328 --> 00:02:42,280 Well, actually, I'm... I'm just trying, you know, 68 00:02:42,282 --> 00:02:45,610 to get back in the swing of things, so, you know... 69 00:02:45,612 --> 00:02:49,279 Cool. [Chuckles] 70 00:02:49,281 --> 00:02:51,112 This whole deal must be weird for you. 71 00:02:51,114 --> 00:02:52,732 Hey, I'm a big fan, by the way. 72 00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:54,099 Actually, well, 73 00:02:54,100 --> 00:02:55,836 you probably hear this all the time, 74 00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:58,422 but, uh, I do a podcast myself. 75 00:02:58,433 --> 00:02:59,632 - Hmm. - Oh, actually, 76 00:02:59,633 --> 00:03:01,824 I just realized I have a recording of it. 77 00:03:01,854 --> 00:03:03,875 It's called "Podcast Podcast." 78 00:03:03,922 --> 00:03:05,234 Remember like the old commercial 79 00:03:05,290 --> 00:03:07,416 where the little guy would come out and say "pizza pizza"? 80 00:03:07,418 --> 00:03:09,959 [Chuckles] Did I mention I do comedy, too? 81 00:03:10,013 --> 00:03:13,311 Uh-huh. All right. I think I'm gonna eat this cookie now. 82 00:03:13,422 --> 00:03:14,577 Cool. 83 00:03:15,400 --> 00:03:16,991 Wait, I didn't get your number. 84 00:03:17,053 --> 00:03:17,886 I know. 85 00:03:17,957 --> 00:03:20,957 86 00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:24,890 Ha. 87 00:03:24,937 --> 00:03:27,103 First thing my sponsor told me was, 88 00:03:27,167 --> 00:03:29,867 "Don't eat the birthday cake." 89 00:03:29,955 --> 00:03:32,123 - Yeah? - Yeah. 90 00:03:32,185 --> 00:03:35,842 By the time the crackheads and alkies blow out the candles, 91 00:03:35,844 --> 00:03:37,299 it's not icing anymore, 92 00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:39,750 it's a creamy petri dish. 93 00:03:39,776 --> 00:03:41,604 Oh, man, that's kind of disgusting. 94 00:03:41,606 --> 00:03:44,026 - [Laughs] - Why you still eating it, then? 95 00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,832 I'm immune. 96 00:03:45,833 --> 00:03:47,099 Mmm. 97 00:03:47,239 --> 00:03:50,799 I'm like one of those guys who, uh... 98 00:03:50,859 --> 00:03:52,727 Mmm! That's good! 99 00:03:52,782 --> 00:03:54,095 ...takes rattlesnake venom 100 00:03:54,118 --> 00:03:55,699 until the bites don't bother him. 101 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:56,540 - Right. - Yeah. 102 00:03:56,582 --> 00:04:00,334 After 30 years of gulping junkie germs, 103 00:04:00,389 --> 00:04:01,533 it doesn't affect me. 104 00:04:01,586 --> 00:04:02,532 - Got it. - Mmm. Yeah. 105 00:04:02,534 --> 00:04:05,087 [Inhales] Gerry... with a "G." 106 00:04:05,122 --> 00:04:06,488 Marc. 107 00:04:06,519 --> 00:04:07,651 30 years, huh? 108 00:04:07,700 --> 00:04:10,033 - That's not nothing. - Yeah, thanks. 109 00:04:10,070 --> 00:04:12,269 Now I pretty much come for the cookies. 110 00:04:12,339 --> 00:04:15,433 I'm a sucker for that baked-last-century taste. 111 00:04:15,514 --> 00:04:17,699 Right, right. 112 00:04:17,700 --> 00:04:20,001 So uh... 113 00:04:20,078 --> 00:04:21,833 you want to sponsor me? 114 00:04:24,701 --> 00:04:26,962 Why don't you tell me what's going on? 115 00:04:27,001 --> 00:04:28,967 Well, it's kind of a saga. 116 00:04:29,150 --> 00:04:30,615 Shocker! 117 00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,151 - Give me the highlights. - All right. 118 00:04:32,153 --> 00:04:35,610 Well, I had, uh, 16 years sober, I relapsed. 119 00:04:35,612 --> 00:04:38,685 I kind of screwed up a big job, I lost everything. 120 00:04:38,687 --> 00:04:40,975 I imploded publicly, 121 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:43,418 and, uh, now I got no place to live. 122 00:04:43,467 --> 00:04:46,010 - Impressive. - What, that I have no place to live? 123 00:04:46,138 --> 00:04:49,631 Most addicts, they're addicted to the drama. 124 00:04:49,633 --> 00:04:51,938 You sounded like you were reading a bus schedule. 125 00:04:51,940 --> 00:04:53,906 I know, right? I think I'm dead inside. 126 00:04:53,967 --> 00:04:55,332 Mm! 127 00:04:55,405 --> 00:04:57,032 That happens! 128 00:04:57,034 --> 00:04:58,399 You keep doing what you're doing, 129 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,578 you keep getting what you're getting. 130 00:05:00,580 --> 00:05:03,632 - Right, right, okay. - Mm, yeah. 131 00:05:03,679 --> 00:05:07,654 My sponsor used to tell me just do the next right thing. 132 00:05:07,686 --> 00:05:09,342 Okay, that sounds great. I'm in. 133 00:05:09,344 --> 00:05:11,428 So what is it? 134 00:05:11,512 --> 00:05:13,182 You don't know. 135 00:05:13,245 --> 00:05:15,077 You can't... your brain's broken. 136 00:05:15,133 --> 00:05:17,124 Everything you want to do is wrong. 137 00:05:17,143 --> 00:05:20,222 That's why you have a sponsor, so you can take directions. 138 00:05:20,261 --> 00:05:22,244 Okay, look, I... You want to do this? 139 00:05:22,300 --> 00:05:26,104 Yeah, one addict helping another, that's what it's all about. 140 00:05:26,127 --> 00:05:28,217 So, all right, what happens now, then? 141 00:05:28,317 --> 00:05:30,213 Hmm. 142 00:05:30,265 --> 00:05:32,097 Ah. 143 00:05:32,099 --> 00:05:33,931 Let's take a ride. 144 00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:36,165 Where? 145 00:05:36,231 --> 00:05:38,370 Unless you prefer sleeping under the stars, 146 00:05:38,429 --> 00:05:42,043 I might have a cheap place for you to stay. 147 00:05:42,082 --> 00:05:44,035 Hey, do me a favor. 148 00:05:44,601 --> 00:05:46,266 Just keep filling this up. 149 00:05:46,291 --> 00:05:48,321 They're gonna throw it away anyway. 150 00:05:48,365 --> 00:05:51,197 It's open. Just move shit off the seat. 151 00:05:51,507 --> 00:05:53,329 [Grunts] 152 00:05:53,365 --> 00:05:56,083 [Bag crinkles] 153 00:05:56,137 --> 00:05:56,714 [Door closes] 154 00:05:56,716 --> 00:05:57,873 - [Seat belt clicks] - Yeah. 155 00:05:59,463 --> 00:06:00,426 Yeah. 156 00:06:07,317 --> 00:06:08,386 Hmm. 157 00:06:08,450 --> 00:06:11,015 Shirley, the place we're going, 158 00:06:11,054 --> 00:06:13,453 takes in recovering addicts. 159 00:06:13,804 --> 00:06:15,632 She helps a lot of guys. 160 00:06:15,633 --> 00:06:18,427 She's like a one-woman halfway house. 161 00:06:18,514 --> 00:06:20,580 She helped me get sober. Yeah. 162 00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:23,310 I was lost. 163 00:06:23,362 --> 00:06:25,395 I don't really know how to say it, 164 00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:28,752 but, yeah, she was nurturing in a way. 165 00:06:29,023 --> 00:06:30,281 Hmm. 166 00:06:30,334 --> 00:06:31,933 Sounds weird. 167 00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:34,098 Unless you have a better idea, 168 00:06:34,107 --> 00:06:38,273 I suggest going with sponsorial direction here. 169 00:06:38,329 --> 00:06:39,961 Uh... 170 00:06:40,033 --> 00:06:42,297 All right, fine. 171 00:06:42,353 --> 00:06:45,952 You're either in faith, or you're in fear, bro! 172 00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,797 - [Laughs] - [Chuckles] 173 00:06:48,744 --> 00:06:49,915 Yeah, you get it. 174 00:06:49,917 --> 00:06:52,917 175 00:06:56,037 --> 00:06:58,250 [Gear shifts, sealbelt clicks] 176 00:07:00,031 --> 00:07:00,967 You're not coming in? 177 00:07:01,026 --> 00:07:03,992 Mm, that's not how Shirley rolls. 178 00:07:05,462 --> 00:07:06,694 Ah. 179 00:07:07,071 --> 00:07:08,821 Well, this doesn't feel creepy. 180 00:07:08,837 --> 00:07:12,664 Yeah, like the old-timers say, "Feelings aren't facts." 181 00:07:15,641 --> 00:07:19,170 [Car door opens] 182 00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:20,333 [Car door closes] 183 00:07:20,335 --> 00:07:21,834 Hey. 184 00:07:21,836 --> 00:07:23,505 Call me tomorrow. 185 00:07:29,331 --> 00:07:31,351 You'll be staying in the guest house. 186 00:07:31,353 --> 00:07:33,855 So did Gerry tell you why I take in you guys? 187 00:07:33,857 --> 00:07:35,659 He just said you like to help people. 188 00:07:35,707 --> 00:07:38,039 I do. 189 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:41,636 My own son died of an O.D. 30 years ago. 190 00:07:41,638 --> 00:07:42,756 Hmm. 191 00:07:42,806 --> 00:07:45,441 Nobody helped him, including me. 192 00:07:45,443 --> 00:07:47,375 [Suitcase thuds] 193 00:07:47,448 --> 00:07:50,629 [Chuckles] Wouldn't let him back in the house. 194 00:07:51,396 --> 00:07:54,328 [Sighs] So after he died in a skid-row motel 195 00:07:54,330 --> 00:07:56,455 - with a needle in his neck... - Ugh. 196 00:07:56,457 --> 00:07:59,798 ...I made a vow to help as many of you boys as I could... 197 00:07:59,800 --> 00:08:02,541 the way I wish I helped my own. 198 00:08:02,543 --> 00:08:04,209 Uh... 199 00:08:04,289 --> 00:08:05,852 This is a nice garden. 200 00:08:05,946 --> 00:08:08,399 Oh, it's more than that. 201 00:08:08,432 --> 00:08:10,466 Here. 202 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,620 Take this. 203 00:08:11,670 --> 00:08:13,609 It's your sobriety bush. 204 00:08:14,790 --> 00:08:16,556 Sobriety bush? 205 00:08:16,558 --> 00:08:19,190 While you're here, you'll tend it. 206 00:08:19,346 --> 00:08:22,100 You'll plant it, you'll water it, you'll watch it grow. 207 00:08:22,166 --> 00:08:26,266 Learn to love this little guy, and you'll learn to love yourself. 208 00:08:26,267 --> 00:08:30,497 Gardening is a big part of what you'll be doing here. 209 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:33,150 I call it Donny's Garden. 210 00:08:33,152 --> 00:08:34,751 Hmm. 211 00:08:34,951 --> 00:08:36,266 - It's really, um... - I know. 212 00:08:36,319 --> 00:08:38,051 I... 213 00:08:38,391 --> 00:08:39,554 I know. 214 00:08:41,071 --> 00:08:42,300 So after you change your pants, 215 00:08:42,353 --> 00:08:44,816 you can get started planting this little newcomer. 216 00:08:44,896 --> 00:08:46,391 Um... 217 00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:47,773 These are my only pants. 218 00:08:47,806 --> 00:08:49,338 Fine, then you can start right now. 219 00:08:49,393 --> 00:08:51,080 First thing you need to do is give him a name. 220 00:08:51,119 --> 00:08:52,772 - [Sighs] - [Sniffles] 221 00:08:52,774 --> 00:08:55,049 Okay, I'll... I'll come up with something. 222 00:09:03,290 --> 00:09:06,095 [Suitcase wheels click] 223 00:09:06,551 --> 00:09:10,394 224 00:09:14,052 --> 00:09:15,757 Who's this handsome fellow? 225 00:09:15,815 --> 00:09:17,489 It's my landlady's son. 226 00:09:17,491 --> 00:09:19,954 He lived in here... till he O.D.'d. 227 00:09:19,977 --> 00:09:21,334 Oh, that's a little depressing. 228 00:09:21,336 --> 00:09:23,390 Addiction is depressing, Andy. 229 00:09:23,392 --> 00:09:24,740 Why are you here? What do you want? 230 00:09:24,742 --> 00:09:26,923 What, I have to have a... a reason 231 00:09:26,938 --> 00:09:29,047 to come visit my old friend? 232 00:09:29,049 --> 00:09:31,068 I mean, wow, the anger. 233 00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:32,846 You threw me out of your house, Andy! 234 00:09:32,848 --> 00:09:36,758 Now I'm living with some lady named Shirley in the dead son museum. 235 00:09:36,797 --> 00:09:39,836 Wow, you're like my mother with the guilt. 236 00:09:39,873 --> 00:09:41,572 The cats are doing fantastic, by the way. 237 00:09:41,614 --> 00:09:43,874 Oh, okay, so you came over here to talk about the cats? 238 00:09:43,876 --> 00:09:46,911 No, I came here because I'm your friend. 239 00:09:46,945 --> 00:09:47,639 Mm-hmm. 240 00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:49,620 The Sklar brothers wanted to know why you didn't return 241 00:09:49,700 --> 00:09:51,308 - their calls about the podcast. - [Sighs] 242 00:09:51,355 --> 00:09:52,415 What... W-why?! 243 00:09:52,417 --> 00:09:54,716 Why would I want to do a podcast right now? 244 00:09:54,745 --> 00:09:56,173 Because you have to get back out there. 245 00:09:56,197 --> 00:09:58,638 You gotta get your life back to normal. 246 00:09:58,651 --> 00:10:01,783 Marc, you really need to be out there gardening. 247 00:10:01,925 --> 00:10:03,505 Hi, I'm Andy. I'm Marc's friend. 248 00:10:03,545 --> 00:10:07,366 Hello, Andy. Marc, I think it's time to tend to the bush. 249 00:10:07,368 --> 00:10:08,309 Mm. 250 00:10:12,852 --> 00:10:13,771 I can take a hint. 251 00:10:13,779 --> 00:10:14,511 - No. - No. 252 00:10:14,534 --> 00:10:16,491 No, it's a chore. It's not what you're thinking. 253 00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:18,677 - I know... You don't have... - No, It's not. It's not what it i... 254 00:10:18,716 --> 00:10:20,724 Don't have to explain to me. 255 00:10:20,725 --> 00:10:22,239 Please do that podcast, okay? 256 00:10:22,241 --> 00:10:23,808 Oh, I don't know. 257 00:10:23,810 --> 00:10:25,942 258 00:10:27,475 --> 00:10:28,609 I'm serious, man. 259 00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:30,556 It's like a mausoleum over there. 260 00:10:30,558 --> 00:10:32,889 She's got pictures of her dead kid everywhere. 261 00:10:32,891 --> 00:10:34,706 I mean, what is that? How does that help? 262 00:10:34,708 --> 00:10:37,107 Sounds like somebody's having a pity party. 263 00:10:37,169 --> 00:10:38,017 - [Sighs] - Hmm. - [Cellphone chimes] 264 00:10:38,053 --> 00:10:39,215 Come on. 265 00:10:39,217 --> 00:10:41,816 - Maybe you should come with me. - Where, fellowship? 266 00:10:41,841 --> 00:10:44,440 I've had it up to here with fellowship, man. 267 00:10:44,541 --> 00:10:48,002 How... how much crappy food can you eat? 268 00:10:48,070 --> 00:10:50,017 I'm... I'm sorry. That was a stupid thing to say. 269 00:10:50,058 --> 00:10:52,924 No, no, no. 12 step call. 270 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:57,545 Best way to get out of your own head is to help another alcoholic or addict. 271 00:10:57,547 --> 00:10:59,497 - That... that was hurtful. - Okay. 272 00:10:59,499 --> 00:11:01,864 That's mean. 273 00:11:01,940 --> 00:11:03,121 [Siren wails, rock music playing] 274 00:11:03,225 --> 00:11:05,427 Oh, listen, Gerry, again, I'm sorry I lashed out. 275 00:11:05,463 --> 00:11:07,187 All right, just I'm not... I don't... I don't feel great. 276 00:11:07,189 --> 00:11:08,733 Yeah, I know that. 277 00:11:08,735 --> 00:11:10,191 Hey, hey, we're good. 278 00:11:10,193 --> 00:11:11,795 Actually, it was my fault. 279 00:11:11,797 --> 00:11:13,771 I'm a little sensitive about that stuff. 280 00:11:13,773 --> 00:11:17,266 Man: Oh, yeah, baby! I know you like that! 281 00:11:17,282 --> 00:11:20,534 Oh, oh! Give daddy a little nibble! 282 00:11:20,536 --> 00:11:22,124 Oh! [Panting] 283 00:11:22,313 --> 00:11:24,444 What the hell is that? 284 00:11:24,496 --> 00:11:26,061 Sounds like a cry for help. 285 00:11:26,063 --> 00:11:27,777 Oh, really? In what language? 286 00:11:27,779 --> 00:11:29,968 [Chuckles] You'll see. 287 00:11:30,024 --> 00:11:33,303 [Rock music continues] 288 00:11:33,350 --> 00:11:34,824 [Glass clinks] 289 00:11:34,825 --> 00:11:36,648 Mm. Watch your step. 290 00:11:36,650 --> 00:11:37,685 Oh. 291 00:11:39,265 --> 00:11:41,488 What the hell's wrong with you? H-How are you eating that? 292 00:11:41,490 --> 00:11:44,282 It smells like stale jizz in here, man? 293 00:11:44,352 --> 00:11:45,677 That's bleach. 294 00:11:45,697 --> 00:11:48,613 The guy was probably cleaning his needles. 295 00:11:49,022 --> 00:11:50,172 He's very hygienic. 296 00:11:50,174 --> 00:11:51,490 Yeah, clearly. 297 00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:54,657 Mm. 298 00:11:54,658 --> 00:11:56,632 Okay. 299 00:11:56,637 --> 00:11:58,969 I'm going in. [Knocks on door] 300 00:11:59,179 --> 00:12:01,825 Hey, buddy, you okay? 301 00:12:02,223 --> 00:12:03,621 You in there? 302 00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:04,745 Man: What do you want?! 303 00:12:04,752 --> 00:12:07,124 All right, all right, let's just go. Seriously, man. 304 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,166 We're from A.A. 305 00:12:09,168 --> 00:12:11,020 You called Central Office. 306 00:12:11,070 --> 00:12:13,703 My name is Gerry, with a "G." 307 00:12:13,994 --> 00:12:16,324 Nipples! 308 00:12:16,325 --> 00:12:18,425 [Rock music continues] 309 00:12:21,290 --> 00:12:24,289 Ready or not, here we come! 310 00:12:24,291 --> 00:12:25,990 Yee-haw! 311 00:12:26,615 --> 00:12:29,061 [Music intensifies] 312 00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:31,010 Unh-unh. No. I... no. 313 00:12:31,082 --> 00:12:34,995 Oh, come on, cowboy. It's your rodeo time. 314 00:12:35,033 --> 00:12:37,921 - Oh. Hey. - Okay. 315 00:12:38,645 --> 00:12:40,211 Man: Oh, gosh, guys. 316 00:12:40,266 --> 00:12:41,775 I'm glad you're here. 317 00:12:41,836 --> 00:12:42,834 [Both chuckle] 318 00:12:42,878 --> 00:12:44,407 So you been partying, huh? 319 00:12:44,503 --> 00:12:46,573 Oh. [Chuckles] Yeah. 320 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:50,782 I guess I was kind of messed up when I called, but... 321 00:12:50,960 --> 00:12:52,133 I'm fine now. 322 00:12:52,190 --> 00:12:53,549 Shut up, bitch! 323 00:12:53,550 --> 00:12:55,214 [Chuckles] 324 00:12:55,216 --> 00:12:56,116 [Growls] 325 00:12:56,178 --> 00:12:57,349 - Mm! Mm! - You know, 326 00:12:57,350 --> 00:12:59,582 - I've been where you've been, my friend. - Mm! 327 00:12:59,583 --> 00:13:02,286 I can help you get into treatment. 328 00:13:02,325 --> 00:13:04,010 What do ya say? 329 00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:05,549 What do I say? 330 00:13:05,633 --> 00:13:09,174 What does she say? 331 00:13:09,235 --> 00:13:10,737 Oh, God! [Sighs] 332 00:13:10,799 --> 00:13:12,505 - Oh, man. - Oh, God! 333 00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:16,413 Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh! 334 00:13:16,415 --> 00:13:18,749 Oh! 335 00:13:19,111 --> 00:13:20,682 All gone! 336 00:13:21,557 --> 00:13:23,066 Uh, I... I... I don't... 337 00:13:23,074 --> 00:13:25,516 I don't think this is about drugs, man. 338 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:27,860 Hmm. You might be right. 339 00:13:27,862 --> 00:13:29,934 But the drugs aren't helping. 340 00:13:29,936 --> 00:13:30,680 Oh. 341 00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:32,634 [Cellphone vibrates] 342 00:13:32,697 --> 00:13:34,561 Oh, can I step out for a second? 343 00:13:35,564 --> 00:13:37,549 Yeah! 344 00:13:37,676 --> 00:13:38,952 - Okay, steady. - Oh! 345 00:13:38,954 --> 00:13:40,715 - Steady, and... - Mm! 346 00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:41,828 - Okay. All right, - Okay. 347 00:13:41,879 --> 00:13:43,445 - I'm... I'm gonna step out here. - [Chuckles] 348 00:13:43,553 --> 00:13:45,298 - Yeah, I wish I could. - Okay. 349 00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:47,233 [Siren wails, clattering] 350 00:13:50,037 --> 00:13:52,458 - What the hell, man? - [Laughs] 351 00:13:52,460 --> 00:13:53,732 That was crazy! 352 00:13:53,765 --> 00:13:56,632 Oh, welcome to the rodeo, buddy. [Laughs] 353 00:13:56,633 --> 00:13:58,431 Ah, so, an important message? 354 00:13:58,433 --> 00:14:00,624 Oh, yeah... well, it was, uh, the Sklar brothers. 355 00:14:00,665 --> 00:14:01,877 You know the Sklar brothers, they're twins. 356 00:14:01,924 --> 00:14:03,599 - Yeah, I know who they are. - Right. 357 00:14:03,600 --> 00:14:05,399 - Yeah, yeah, Randy and Jason. - Mm-hmm. 358 00:14:05,433 --> 00:14:06,585 Well, they got a podcast now, 359 00:14:06,657 --> 00:14:08,156 and they keep bugging me to be on it. 360 00:14:08,200 --> 00:14:10,466 Oh, man, you gotta do it. So do it! 361 00:14:10,526 --> 00:14:12,020 I... I don't... You know, I don't know. 362 00:14:12,022 --> 00:14:14,884 I... I... I don't feel ready. You know, I still feel shitty. 363 00:14:14,931 --> 00:14:17,163 You gotta say yes to the universe, buddy. 364 00:14:17,178 --> 00:14:18,927 - Say yes. - You think? 365 00:14:18,997 --> 00:14:21,196 Yes, I know. 366 00:14:21,267 --> 00:14:24,005 Universe will say yes to you. 367 00:14:24,021 --> 00:14:25,220 [Clattering] 368 00:14:25,275 --> 00:14:30,502 Hey, I really appreciate you guys coming, but I'm okay now. 369 00:14:30,561 --> 00:14:32,397 I got this. 370 00:14:32,729 --> 00:14:34,399 [Grunts] 371 00:14:34,400 --> 00:14:36,438 - Oh! - [Sighs] Okay. 372 00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:39,032 - Okay. All right. Uh, are we done here? - Mm-hmm. 373 00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:41,166 All right, everybody, welcome back to Sklarbro Country. 374 00:14:41,167 --> 00:14:43,032 We, of course, have the hilarious 375 00:14:43,087 --> 00:14:46,231 and lately M.I.A. Marc Maron with us. 376 00:14:46,262 --> 00:14:47,929 - Uh, welcome to the show. - Randy: It's been a while, buddy. 377 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,768 And, uh, what can we ask you, and what can we not ask you? 378 00:14:51,807 --> 00:14:54,699 Uh, well, I... you know, I'm... 379 00:14:54,779 --> 00:14:56,065 I'm... I'm still a little raw, 380 00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,699 but, you know, I... I think it's, uh, 381 00:14:57,700 --> 00:14:58,899 it's probably time. 382 00:14:58,900 --> 00:15:00,364 You know, I... I... I think, um, 383 00:15:00,396 --> 00:15:02,528 people want to know what I've been through. 384 00:15:02,600 --> 00:15:04,065 Well, yeah, I mean, you've been through a lot. 385 00:15:04,067 --> 00:15:06,600 Seriously, I mean, holy shit. 386 00:15:06,667 --> 00:15:07,832 Where do we begin? 387 00:15:07,907 --> 00:15:10,616 Uh, well... 388 00:15:10,705 --> 00:15:12,299 w-whatever you guys want to know, you know? 389 00:15:12,300 --> 00:15:14,429 I... I'll... let's just... let's just do it. 390 00:15:14,511 --> 00:15:15,406 - Okay. - Okay, okay. 391 00:15:15,420 --> 00:15:17,795 Uh, I'll start with something that I heard. 392 00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:20,728 I heard that you were living in a storage locker. 393 00:15:20,767 --> 00:15:21,420 Wait a minute, 394 00:15:21,455 --> 00:15:22,323 - how do you know that - I heard that. 395 00:15:22,387 --> 00:15:24,271 - and I don't know that? - 'Cause I hear things. 396 00:15:24,329 --> 00:15:26,234 Okay, are we talking about an actual storage locker here? 397 00:15:26,236 --> 00:15:28,039 - Yes. - Yeah, but, I mean, 398 00:15:28,078 --> 00:15:30,059 the saddest part about it really was that... 399 00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:31,869 Wait, wait, wait. Where did you shit... 400 00:15:31,871 --> 00:15:33,138 - Okay. - ...in the storage locker? 401 00:15:33,161 --> 00:15:34,494 - Just take it easy. - Yeah, I want to know. 402 00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:35,330 A bucket it. It was a bucket. 403 00:15:35,332 --> 00:15:37,311 [Inhales sharply] 404 00:15:37,313 --> 00:15:39,090 I mean, when you say it out loud or when he says it... 405 00:15:39,129 --> 00:15:40,850 And when he repeats it twice, 406 00:15:40,951 --> 00:15:41,789 - that's just sad. - Yeah, yeah. 407 00:15:41,791 --> 00:15:43,556 - A bucket. - That's just really sad. - Yeah. 408 00:15:43,633 --> 00:15:44,899 - But hilarious. - Kind of funny. 409 00:15:44,950 --> 00:15:46,299 - Kind of hilarious. - Also kind of funny, yeah. 410 00:15:46,321 --> 00:15:49,003 I mean, have you been talking about this on stage yet? 411 00:15:49,065 --> 00:15:50,032 - No. - Please tell me. 412 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:52,232 No, I... I haven't even... 413 00:15:52,233 --> 00:15:54,699 - st-started doing stand-up again yet. - What are you talking about? 414 00:15:54,700 --> 00:15:56,145 - Are you kidding? - You gotta go on. 415 00:15:56,185 --> 00:15:57,784 You have so much to draw from now. 416 00:15:57,827 --> 00:16:00,878 Yeah, but I'm just, uh... It's like I'm... I don't... 417 00:16:00,941 --> 00:16:03,115 I don't know. [Chuckles] 418 00:16:03,161 --> 00:16:04,360 All right, well, listen, hey. 419 00:16:04,400 --> 00:16:06,599 W-We're headlining at the Ice House tonight, 420 00:16:06,668 --> 00:16:08,099 and there's an open slot in the show. 421 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,332 - It's got your name on it. - Come on. 422 00:16:09,333 --> 00:16:11,766 I think you should do it. Say yes, man. 423 00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:13,066 Come on, look what we're doing right here. 424 00:16:13,067 --> 00:16:14,701 This is a comedy intervention on this podcast. 425 00:16:14,748 --> 00:16:16,366 That's all it is. 426 00:16:16,367 --> 00:16:18,832 [Sighs] 427 00:16:18,833 --> 00:16:20,433 Oh. 428 00:16:21,958 --> 00:16:23,976 So I know it sounds sad that... 429 00:16:23,978 --> 00:16:25,403 that I was living in a storage unit, 430 00:16:25,463 --> 00:16:29,064 but th-there is some... some good parts to it. 431 00:16:29,093 --> 00:16:32,213 Like, uh, I was running a small business out of the storage unit. I was... 432 00:16:32,215 --> 00:16:35,451 I was, uh, actually selling my shit for drugs. 433 00:16:37,207 --> 00:16:38,632 Hmm. 434 00:16:38,669 --> 00:16:41,232 And once I ran out of my shit, then I... I, 435 00:16:41,288 --> 00:16:42,632 you know, I didn't steal. 436 00:16:42,633 --> 00:16:45,590 I chose to, uh, to start a very healthy relationship 437 00:16:45,663 --> 00:16:47,762 with a woman who was taking care of a guy with cancer, 438 00:16:47,833 --> 00:16:49,166 and I would take his medicine. 439 00:16:49,223 --> 00:16:51,632 And if you think it's, you know, hard to have sex 440 00:16:51,692 --> 00:16:53,799 with someone you don't really want to have sex with, 441 00:16:53,850 --> 00:16:55,366 try doing it on Oxys 442 00:16:55,424 --> 00:16:58,107 with a guy with cancer moaning in the background. 443 00:16:58,177 --> 00:17:00,080 And I pulled that off, so that's something, right? 444 00:17:00,150 --> 00:17:03,689 I'm kind of a hero. 445 00:17:03,691 --> 00:17:06,032 - Okay, all right! - [Claps] Whoo! 446 00:17:06,033 --> 00:17:07,799 Marc Maron, everybody! Marc Maron! 447 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,342 - Give it up! - For Marc Maron, everybody! 448 00:17:09,381 --> 00:17:10,204 - Come on! - Marc Maron! 449 00:17:10,212 --> 00:17:12,722 First time he's been on stage since shitting in a bucket there. 450 00:17:12,724 --> 00:17:13,557 - Hey. - Marc Maron. 451 00:17:13,559 --> 00:17:14,809 Not a lot of people can say that. 452 00:17:14,850 --> 00:17:16,365 One guy could say that... he's right there... 453 00:17:16,465 --> 00:17:17,399 - Marc Maron. - Marc Maron. 454 00:17:17,639 --> 00:17:18,663 - Thank you guys so much. - All right, thank you, guys. 455 00:17:18,665 --> 00:17:20,728 - We'll see you later. - All right, bye. 456 00:17:20,730 --> 00:17:22,214 - Bye. - Hey, hey, hey. 457 00:17:22,273 --> 00:17:23,279 What's up, what's up, fellas? 458 00:17:23,281 --> 00:17:24,666 - Oh, hey, Marc. - Hey, Marc. 459 00:17:24,668 --> 00:17:25,811 What's up, man? How are you? 460 00:17:25,850 --> 00:17:27,332 - That was, uh... - [Inhales sharply] 461 00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,399 - That was really, um... - Yeah, here's the good news. 462 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:30,832 You got that one out of the way. 463 00:17:30,833 --> 00:17:32,366 Yeah, you did it. You, uh... 464 00:17:32,431 --> 00:17:33,232 I bombed. 465 00:17:33,233 --> 00:17:35,881 Yeah, I tanked, I know. I-I know what happened. 466 00:17:35,913 --> 00:17:37,799 - I'm not stupid. - It was pretty awful. 467 00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,966 Yeah, it's one of the worst bombings I've ever seen. 468 00:17:39,967 --> 00:17:41,966 But, hey, man, y-you got on stage. 469 00:17:42,026 --> 00:17:43,632 Yeah, I mean, sort of. 470 00:17:43,679 --> 00:17:46,009 He didn't sort of get on stage. He was definitely on the stage. 471 00:17:46,055 --> 00:17:49,230 All right, all right, all right, all right, okay, okay. 472 00:17:49,293 --> 00:17:51,239 So what's going on now? 473 00:17:51,252 --> 00:17:54,918 You want to get something to eat or something? 474 00:17:55,020 --> 00:17:56,932 I mean, normally, absolutely, 475 00:17:56,933 --> 00:17:58,766 - yes, we would do that, but... - Tonight we can't. 476 00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,066 - No. - We got... we got a party. 477 00:18:01,121 --> 00:18:01,976 - Yeah. - Mm. 478 00:18:01,978 --> 00:18:03,182 - We would have totally invited you. - Yeah. 479 00:18:03,254 --> 00:18:05,120 But there's gonna be a lot of booze. 480 00:18:05,200 --> 00:18:06,399 It's gonna be really fun, Marc. 481 00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,666 And we just don't want to throw 482 00:18:07,667 --> 00:18:08,595 that sort of fun in your face right now. 483 00:18:08,597 --> 00:18:10,422 Yeah, all right, okay. You know, I... I... 484 00:18:10,424 --> 00:18:12,743 You know, I gotta... I gotta... 485 00:18:12,745 --> 00:18:15,190 - I gotta get back anyways. - Oh. - Oh. 486 00:18:15,192 --> 00:18:17,157 - Really? Great. - Yeah. - Cool. 487 00:18:17,159 --> 00:18:19,381 I thought we were gonna have to babysit you all night, so... 488 00:18:19,383 --> 00:18:21,373 Thanks for doing it, though. Thanks for coming out, man. 489 00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:22,162 - Yeah. - Dude. 490 00:18:22,164 --> 00:18:23,665 - Up on stage! - Who got up there? 491 00:18:23,667 --> 00:18:25,400 Baby steps. 492 00:18:25,402 --> 00:18:27,249 Oh, man. 493 00:18:27,251 --> 00:18:28,601 [Cellphone clicking] 494 00:18:34,558 --> 00:18:35,436 [Sighs] 495 00:18:35,483 --> 00:18:37,560 Hey. Hey, Gerry, it's, uh... It's Marc. 496 00:18:37,562 --> 00:18:39,066 Gerry: [Clears throat] Marc, you okay? 497 00:18:39,067 --> 00:18:42,239 No. No, I'm... I'm not okay. You know, I... I... 498 00:18:42,278 --> 00:18:44,398 I took your... your Goddamn direction. 499 00:18:44,460 --> 00:18:46,749 I... You know, I-I listened to the universe, 500 00:18:46,751 --> 00:18:47,866 I got up on stage. 501 00:18:47,867 --> 00:18:49,332 - Um, Marc... - No, no, no, wait. 502 00:18:49,371 --> 00:18:51,732 Wait, I-I died, all right? I tanked. 503 00:18:51,812 --> 00:18:53,062 It was mortifying. 504 00:18:53,064 --> 00:18:55,197 And then... and then it just got worse. 505 00:18:55,306 --> 00:18:56,821 I mean, you know, some of my comic friends 506 00:18:56,862 --> 00:19:00,123 and then some... all the other comics were going to a party, and um... 507 00:19:00,212 --> 00:19:02,727 - I can't talk to you now. - Are you kidding me? 508 00:19:02,773 --> 00:19:04,699 Uh, sorry. My wife and I are... 509 00:19:04,787 --> 00:19:06,686 are going to dinner with friends. 510 00:19:06,735 --> 00:19:09,634 Oh, really? Hey, I... I haven't, uh, been out to dinner 511 00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,932 with, um, anyone in a long time. 512 00:19:11,933 --> 00:19:15,336 Uh, c-c-can I meet up with you guys? 513 00:19:16,199 --> 00:19:19,557 I'm sorry. It's... it's... it's kind of a work thing. 514 00:19:19,559 --> 00:19:20,793 I'll talk to you later. 515 00:19:20,795 --> 00:19:23,266 Don't quit before the miracle. 516 00:19:23,469 --> 00:19:24,397 Yeah. 517 00:19:26,303 --> 00:19:27,499 Yeah. 518 00:19:27,500 --> 00:19:30,467 519 00:19:39,680 --> 00:19:42,628 [Door creaks] 520 00:19:42,630 --> 00:19:44,066 Marc! 521 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:45,419 Come on up. 522 00:19:55,033 --> 00:19:56,999 You really like to help people, huh? 523 00:19:57,000 --> 00:20:00,366 I give you guys what I couldn't give my son. 524 00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:01,866 Why couldn't you? 525 00:20:02,310 --> 00:20:03,966 I was too drunk. 526 00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,297 - Mm. - Have some cocoa. 527 00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:07,573 [Marc sighs] 528 00:20:07,783 --> 00:20:09,763 I started drinking cocoa 30 years ago 529 00:20:09,835 --> 00:20:12,052 when I quit drinking everything else. 530 00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:14,932 [Slurps] 531 00:20:15,049 --> 00:20:18,132 Oh, man! That's really good. 532 00:20:18,903 --> 00:20:21,374 Yeah, it... it tastes like, um... 533 00:20:22,577 --> 00:20:23,966 Mommy? 534 00:20:25,096 --> 00:20:26,540 Not my mommy. 535 00:20:26,542 --> 00:20:28,499 Oh. 536 00:20:28,554 --> 00:20:30,666 You're having a hard time, aren't you? 537 00:20:30,731 --> 00:20:31,932 I... 538 00:20:32,026 --> 00:20:34,199 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 539 00:20:34,755 --> 00:20:36,632 It's okay. 540 00:20:37,622 --> 00:20:39,766 This is a safe place. 541 00:20:39,903 --> 00:20:41,866 [Sighs] 542 00:20:42,478 --> 00:20:45,000 [Exhales deeply] 543 00:20:47,067 --> 00:20:49,566 You're all little boys. 544 00:20:49,567 --> 00:20:51,099 Mm. 545 00:20:51,193 --> 00:20:54,093 Just lost little boys. 546 00:20:55,602 --> 00:20:58,566 This doesn't feel like the next right thing. 547 00:20:58,932 --> 00:21:01,232 Shh, shh, shh, shh. 548 00:21:01,365 --> 00:21:04,399 549 00:21:05,871 --> 00:21:10,871 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 550 00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:15,471 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38601

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.