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1
00:00:01,034 --> 00:00:03,102
WHAT DO I CALL YOU? CM?
DO I CALL YOU PUNK?
2
00:00:03,104 --> 00:00:04,269
DO I CALL YOU PHIL?
3
00:00:04,271 --> 00:00:06,305
WELL,
CM PUNK'S MY CODE NAME.
4
00:00:06,307 --> 00:00:08,607
AND I NEVER KNOW, "HEY,
YOU KNOW, HOW ARE YOU? MY NAME'S PUNK."
5
00:00:08,609 --> 00:00:11,010
RIGHT.
IT'S KIND OF A WEIRD WAY TO START A CONVERSATION...
6
00:00:11,012 --> 00:00:13,312
[ Chuckling ] YEAH.
...WITHOUT EXPLAINING TO PEOPLE WHAT I DO.
7
00:00:13,314 --> 00:00:14,546
RIGHT. RIGHT.
I RUN AROUND IN MY UNDERWEAR FOR A LIVING.
8
00:00:14,548 --> 00:00:16,315
BUT, YEAH,
CM PUNK'S MY CODE NAME.
9
00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:19,151
RIGHT. ALL RIGHT, SO, I -- WELL,
I HAVE A CODE. I HAVE A NAME.
10
00:00:19,153 --> 00:00:20,986
I HAVE A WRESTLING NAME.
11
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:23,522
I'M THE --
THE "SELF HATER." I LIKE IT.
12
00:00:23,524 --> 00:00:25,157
YEAH, I'M A HEEL
AGAINST ME. YEAH.
13
00:00:25,159 --> 00:00:26,358
I'M WRESTLING
WITH MYSELF.
14
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:27,526
YOU HATE YOURSELF.
15
00:00:27,528 --> 00:00:29,061
YEAH. JUST ME.
YOU HAVE DEMONS.
16
00:00:29,063 --> 00:00:30,496
I'LL HIT MYSELF
WITH A CHAIR. YEAH.
17
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:32,131
YEAH, DO THE WHOLE THING --
THROW MYSELF ON THE ROPES.
18
00:00:32,133 --> 00:00:33,165
I'D PAY TO SEE IT.
19
00:00:33,167 --> 00:00:34,533
YEAH, THAT'S
THE WAY IT GOES.
20
00:00:34,535 --> 00:00:36,301
BUT, YOU KNOW, I KNOW
WE DO HAVE A LOT IN COMMON.
21
00:00:36,303 --> 00:00:38,470
I MEAN, I THINK COMEDY, UH --
STAND-UP COMEDY AND WRESTLING
22
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,205
ARE SIMILAR IN THE --
THE TOURING SCHEDULE
23
00:00:40,207 --> 00:00:43,375
AND THE NATURE OF THE TYPE
OF ENTERTAINMENT WE PROVIDE.
24
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,377
BUT I DO THINK THAT WE --
WE HAVE SIMILAR ISSUES.
25
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,413
I THINK YOU PROBABLY HAVE ISSUES
WITH YOUR PARENTS.
26
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,382
OH, GOD. HOW -- HOW LONG
OF A PODCAST IS THIS?
27
00:00:50,384 --> 00:00:52,017
MY MOTHER
ONCE SAID TO ME,
28
00:00:52,019 --> 00:00:53,685
"I DON'T THINK I COULD LOVE YOU
IF YOU WERE FAT."
29
00:00:53,687 --> 00:00:56,188
AH, THAT'S A TERRIBLE THING
TO SAY TO A CHILD.
30
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:59,191
YEAH, AND SHE SAID IT AGAIN
TWO WEEKS AGO. IT'S ONGOING.
31
00:00:59,193 --> 00:01:01,994
THAT'S WHY -- THAT'S WHY
I'M, LIKE, NUTS WITH, UH -- WITH FOOD.
32
00:01:01,996 --> 00:01:04,530
I MEAN, THAT'S WHY I HAVE FOOD
ISSUES. YOU HAVE FOOD ISSUES?
33
00:01:04,532 --> 00:01:07,332
OH, IF YOU'RE -- IF YOU'RE
THE SELF-DEPRECATOR,
34
00:01:07,334 --> 00:01:10,069
I AM
CAPTAIN BODY DYSMORPHIA.
35
00:01:10,071 --> 00:01:12,004
COME ON, MAN.
WE'RE MEN.
36
00:01:12,006 --> 00:01:15,040
YOU KNOW,
IN MY BUSINESS, EVERYBODY'S... YEAH.
37
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:17,109
EVERYBODY'S YOLKED UP, AND
THEY'RE HUGE BODYBUILDER TYPES,
38
00:01:17,111 --> 00:01:18,544
AND I'M NOT REALLY
THAT GUY,
39
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,345
SO I REALLY GOT TO WATCH
WHAT I EAT. YEAH?
40
00:01:20,347 --> 00:01:22,181
LEAN MEAT...
RIGHT, RIGHT.
41
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:23,682
...LOT OF VEGETABLES, YOU KNOW,
EGG WHITES... YEAH, YEAH.
42
00:01:23,684 --> 00:01:25,117
...YOU KNOW,
I TAKE IT TO EXTREMES.
43
00:01:25,119 --> 00:01:26,718
BUT IT'S JUST
SO MENTALLY DRAINING
44
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,021
AND SOMETIMES
PHYSICALLY DRAINING. YEAH.
45
00:01:29,023 --> 00:01:30,456
YOU KNOW, SO I HAVE TO HAVE,
LIKE, A CHEAT DAY.
46
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:32,357
A CHEAT DAY!
I DO THAT, TOO.
47
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,626
EVERY CHEAT DAY,
WHAT I DO IS I STOCK UP,
48
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:37,362
I GET ALL THE STUFF --
THE ICE CREAM, THE COOKIES,
49
00:01:37,364 --> 00:01:39,431
EVERYTHING --
AND BASICALLY WHAT I DO
50
00:01:39,433 --> 00:01:41,400
IS I CHALLENGE MYSELF
TO KILL MYSELF WITH FOOD
51
00:01:41,402 --> 00:01:43,135
IN A 24-HOUR PERIOD.
52
00:01:43,137 --> 00:01:45,137
AND, ONCE AGAIN, VERY SIMILAR.
ABSOLUTELY. YOU --
53
00:01:45,139 --> 00:01:47,239
HAVE YOU EVER DONE A CHEAT WEEK?
BECAUSE THAT IS AWESOME.
54
00:01:47,241 --> 00:01:48,474
I THINK
YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG.
55
00:01:48,476 --> 00:01:50,676
W-W-WELL, DON'T JUDGE.
56
00:02:07,627 --> 00:02:09,795
[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
57
00:02:15,401 --> 00:02:16,668
HEY, MAN!
58
00:02:16,670 --> 00:02:18,403
[ CHUCKLES ]
I JUST WENT THROUGH TWO STATES
59
00:02:18,405 --> 00:02:19,671
AT 130 MILES AN HOUR.
60
00:02:19,673 --> 00:02:21,073
IT WAS AMAZING!
HAVE YOU EVER DONE THAT?
61
00:02:21,075 --> 00:02:22,241
W-W-W-WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?
62
00:02:22,243 --> 00:02:23,408
I'M OUT, BROTHER.
63
00:02:23,410 --> 00:02:25,077
I'M FREE. I'M CLEAR.
WAIT. WHA--
64
00:02:25,079 --> 00:02:26,278
YOU'RE A SCIENTOLOGIST?
65
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,746
NO! REAL CLARITY.
66
00:02:27,748 --> 00:02:29,081
SARAH AND I BROKE UP.
67
00:02:29,083 --> 00:02:30,415
UGH! I'M DONE
WITH THE OLD ME.
68
00:02:30,417 --> 00:02:32,084
THAT -- THAT ME
WAS DEAD INSIDE.
69
00:02:32,086 --> 00:02:34,186
THIS ME IS ALIVE.
I HAVE TO PEE.
70
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,321
WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
SLOW DOWN. WHAT?
71
00:02:36,323 --> 00:02:38,457
I WAS GONNA PEE OUTSIDE, BECAUSE
THAT'S SORT OF WHO I AM NOW,
72
00:02:38,459 --> 00:02:40,292
BUT OUT OF RESPECT FOR YOUR
NEIGHBORS AND MAYBE YOUR CATS,
73
00:02:40,294 --> 00:02:41,760
I DECIDED TO WAIT.
74
00:02:41,762 --> 00:02:43,262
OOH! I THINK I'M BEGINNING
TO PEE NOW, ACTUALLY.
75
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:44,596
W-W-WELL, GO, GO, GO.
76
00:02:44,598 --> 00:02:46,498
MAYBE I'LL GO --
JUST PEE IN MY PANTS.
77
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:47,766
WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU DID THAT, RIGHT?
78
00:02:47,768 --> 00:02:49,134
JUST LET IT FLOW?
79
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:51,170
[ LAUGHS ]
DON'T. JUST GO. GO.
80
00:02:51,172 --> 00:02:53,105
OKAY.
81
00:02:53,107 --> 00:02:55,207
SO, WHAT HAPPENED
WITH YOU AND SARAH?
82
00:02:55,209 --> 00:02:56,675
I THOUGHT
YOU GUYS WERE SOLID.
83
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,544
OH, YEAH,
IT WAS MUTUAL.
84
00:02:58,546 --> 00:03:01,480
WE BOTH KNEW IT WAS DEAD --
JUST GOING THROUGH THE MOTIONS.
85
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,182
I HAD NO IDEA.
86
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,616
OH, WOW.
87
00:03:04,618 --> 00:03:06,151
I GUESS I HAVE TO DO
A LITTLE MORE THAN PEE.
88
00:03:06,153 --> 00:03:08,187
UH, KEEP AN EYE
ON MY BAG, WILL YOU?
89
00:03:08,189 --> 00:03:10,789
WELL, IT'S NOT THE AIRPORT,
BUT, YEAH, I-I-I GOT IT.
90
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:12,191
[ GRUNTS ]
91
00:03:12,193 --> 00:03:14,459
OH, NOW I CAN RELAX.
92
00:03:14,461 --> 00:03:15,627
[ SIGHS ]
93
00:03:15,629 --> 00:03:18,463
[ "THE POISONED WELL" PLAYS ]
94
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,701
WON'T FALL FOR IT
95
00:03:22,703 --> 00:03:25,370
YOU CAN'T SEE
96
00:03:25,372 --> 00:03:28,140
AND YOU CAN'T TELL
97
00:03:28,142 --> 00:03:33,412
I JUST CAN'T DRINK
FROM THE POISONED WELL
98
00:03:33,414 --> 00:03:36,582
[ Ringing ]
99
00:03:36,584 --> 00:03:38,350
[ CELLPHONE RINGS ]
100
00:03:38,352 --> 00:03:39,651
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
101
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,653
HELLO?
MARC: Hi, Mom. It's Marc.
102
00:03:41,655 --> 00:03:43,322
HI, MARC. I LOVE YOU.
103
00:03:43,324 --> 00:03:44,590
UH, YOU'RE
SUPPOSED TO SAY THAT
104
00:03:44,592 --> 00:03:45,891
AT THE END
OF THE CONVERSATION.
105
00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:47,326
IT'S WEIRD
AT THE BEGINNING.
106
00:03:47,328 --> 00:03:48,327
YOU'RE SO CRITICAL.
107
00:03:48,329 --> 00:03:49,528
All right, look...
108
00:03:49,530 --> 00:03:51,597
H-HAVE YOU TALKED
TO JOSH LATELY?
109
00:03:51,599 --> 00:03:53,165
No. Have you?
MAYBE.
110
00:03:53,167 --> 00:03:54,433
EVERYBODY'S
LOOKING FOR HIM.
111
00:03:54,435 --> 00:03:55,901
What does that mean?
112
00:03:55,903 --> 00:03:57,502
I TALKED TO HIS WIFE YESTERDAY.
SHE'S WORRIED SICK.
113
00:03:57,504 --> 00:03:58,837
SHE DOESN'T KNOW
WHERE HE IS.
114
00:03:58,839 --> 00:04:00,339
WHAT?
115
00:04:00,341 --> 00:04:01,607
Yeah, she said
he's been gone for two days.
116
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,342
SHE SAID HE PEELED OUT
IN THEIR DRIVEWAY.
117
00:04:03,344 --> 00:04:05,177
YOU KNOW
WHAT THAT MEANS?
118
00:04:05,179 --> 00:04:07,746
WAIT, MY BROTHER'S MISSING
AND YOU DON'T THINK TO CALL ME?
119
00:04:07,748 --> 00:04:08,847
WHY WOULD I CALL YOU?
120
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,349
BECAUSE HE'S MY BROTHER!
121
00:04:10,351 --> 00:04:12,184
Well, I didn't want you
to be worried.
122
00:04:12,186 --> 00:04:14,386
AREN'T YOU WORRIED?
Everybody's worried.
123
00:04:14,388 --> 00:04:16,288
SARAH CALLED THE POLICE.
THEY WERE AT THE HOUSE.
124
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:17,522
Oh, my God.
125
00:04:17,524 --> 00:04:19,524
UH, WELL, LOOK --
I TALKED TO HIM.
126
00:04:19,526 --> 00:04:21,693
HE SAID THAT HE
AND HIS WIFE BROKE UP.
127
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:23,362
I DON'T THINK
SARAH KNOWS THAT.
128
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,430
SHE JUST SAID
HE PEELED OUT. [ Sighs ]
129
00:04:25,432 --> 00:04:28,433
ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT. LOOK --
ALL RIGHT, HE'S HERE.
130
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:29,801
YOU CAN CALL OFF
THE POLICE.
131
00:04:29,803 --> 00:04:31,703
KEEP HIM THERE.
I'M COMING.
132
00:04:31,705 --> 00:04:32,871
NO, NO. DON'T --
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
133
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,273
DON'T COME OUT HERE.
134
00:04:34,275 --> 00:04:36,708
HELLO? HELLO?
135
00:04:36,710 --> 00:04:39,278
[ SIGHS ]
COME ON.
136
00:04:41,547 --> 00:04:44,916
WHAT?
137
00:04:44,918 --> 00:04:46,618
[ CELLPHONE RINGS, BEEPS ]
138
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,819
HI, MOM.
139
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,388
I LOVE YOU.
140
00:04:49,390 --> 00:04:51,823
I MEANT TO SAY IT
AT THE END OF OUR LAST CALL.
141
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:53,959
Thank you. Listen...
[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]
142
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:55,627
COULD YOU PLEASE
NOT COME OUT HERE
143
00:04:55,629 --> 00:04:56,828
UNTIL I FIGURE OUT
WHAT IS GOING ON?
144
00:04:56,830 --> 00:04:58,397
COULD YOU DO THAT FOR ME?
145
00:04:58,399 --> 00:05:00,432
HELLO? HELLO?
146
00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:03,568
SHIT.
147
00:05:03,570 --> 00:05:04,936
HEY, WHAT IS GOING ON?
148
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,738
WHO -- WHO
WAS ON THE PHONE? MOM.
149
00:05:06,740 --> 00:05:08,974
DID YOU TELL HER
I WAS HERE? YEAH, I TOLD HER,
150
00:05:08,976 --> 00:05:10,909
AND SHE SAID THAT YOUR WIFE SAID
YOU JUST TOOK OFF.
151
00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,944
I PEELED OUT
OF THE DRIVEWAY. I HEARD.
152
00:05:12,946 --> 00:05:14,613
I'VE NEVER DONE THAT BEFORE.
IT WAS LIKE A MOVIE.
153
00:05:14,615 --> 00:05:15,914
IT FELT EXCELLENT.
154
00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,683
WHAT IS GOING ON?
ARE YOU IN TROUBLE?
155
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:19,451
WHOSE MONEY IS THIS?
156
00:05:19,453 --> 00:05:21,253
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?
MEXICO.
157
00:05:21,255 --> 00:05:22,788
WHAT? DUDE!
158
00:05:22,790 --> 00:05:24,656
WHAT THE HELL
IS GOING ON?
159
00:05:24,658 --> 00:05:25,924
I DON'T WANT
TO TALK ABOUT IT!
160
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:27,859
I'M DOING WHAT I WANT
TO DO -- FINALLY.
161
00:05:27,861 --> 00:05:30,529
SCREW EVERYONE ELSE.
162
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,730
YOU SOUND LIKE DAD.
163
00:05:41,774 --> 00:05:43,842
I CAN'T BELIEVE
I'M EATING THIS.
164
00:05:43,844 --> 00:05:45,277
I WAS DOING SO GOOD.
165
00:05:45,279 --> 00:05:47,679
UGH.
I'M SO DISGUSTING.
166
00:05:47,681 --> 00:05:50,949
YEAH, I'M GONNA SAVE MINE
TILL TOMORROW -- CHEAT DAY.
167
00:05:50,951 --> 00:05:53,285
I'M FAT, MAN.
168
00:05:53,287 --> 00:05:54,886
YOU'RE NOT FAT.
I'M FAT.
169
00:05:54,888 --> 00:05:57,622
NO, YOU'RE NOT.
170
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:58,890
WHAT'S THIS?
171
00:05:58,892 --> 00:06:01,026
SKIN, DUDE.
THAT'S SKIN.
172
00:06:01,028 --> 00:06:04,363
WHY DID MOM
MAKE US SO CRAZY?
173
00:06:04,365 --> 00:06:07,966
BECAUSE SHE'S CRAZY, RIGHT?
COME ON. [ CHUCKLING ]
174
00:06:07,968 --> 00:06:09,634
MM-HMM. YEAH.
175
00:06:09,636 --> 00:06:11,336
GIVE IT TO ME.
176
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:12,871
[ SIGHS ]
177
00:06:12,873 --> 00:06:16,475
I LOVE MOM.
178
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:18,810
I'M ON THE FENCE.
179
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,547
ARE YOU SURE
YOU WANT TO SLEEP IN HERE?
180
00:06:22,549 --> 00:06:24,649
I CAN --
I CAN FIX UP THE COUCH?
181
00:06:24,651 --> 00:06:27,486
NO, I DON'T WANT
TO BE ALONE.
182
00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:29,521
YOU'D JUST BE
ON THE COUCH.
183
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,722
NO, THIS IS GOOD.
184
00:06:30,724 --> 00:06:32,858
OKAY.
[ SIGHS ]
185
00:06:32,860 --> 00:06:34,726
ARE YOU GONNA TELL ME
WHAT'S REALLY GOING ON?
186
00:06:34,728 --> 00:06:36,428
OKAY.
187
00:06:36,430 --> 00:06:37,662
LIKE, NOW?
188
00:06:37,664 --> 00:06:39,498
YEAH, I WILL.
189
00:06:39,500 --> 00:06:40,999
LISTENING.
190
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:43,435
ALL RIGHT.
LEAVE ME ALONE.
191
00:06:43,437 --> 00:06:44,669
[ SIGHS ]
192
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:47,506
I GOT FIRED.
I COULDN'T FIND ANOTHER JOB.
193
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:48,940
I WAS HIDING IT
FOR WEEKS.
194
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,742
I'D GET DRESSED FOR WORK
AND GO TO LUBY'S IN THE MORNING,
195
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:51,943
STAY THERE THROUGH LUNCH
AND PART OF DINNER,
196
00:06:51,945 --> 00:06:53,578
AND IT REALLY IS
ALL-YOU-CAN-EAT.
197
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,746
THAT SOUNDS AMAZING.
198
00:06:54,748 --> 00:06:56,014
IT WAS.
AH.
199
00:06:56,016 --> 00:06:58,350
BUT I WAS ASHAMED
AND FELT HORRIBLE.
200
00:06:58,352 --> 00:07:00,852
THEN I REALIZED
I COULD JUST LEAVE -- GO.
201
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,522
I TOOK ALL OF THE MONEY OUT
OF MY ACCOUNTS AND HIT THE ROAD.
202
00:07:03,524 --> 00:07:06,024
BEST THING I'VE EVER DONE
IN MY LIFE. NO. NO, IT'S NOT.
203
00:07:06,026 --> 00:07:08,794
I MEAN, IT'S NOT ALL YOUR MONEY.
IT'S YOUR WIFE'S MONEY.
204
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:10,028
YOU CAN GO TO JAIL.
205
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,430
WHAT ABOUT YOUR KIDS?
206
00:07:11,432 --> 00:07:13,732
I WAS TIRED
OF ALL OF THEM -- TAKERS.
207
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:15,967
TAKERS?
PEOPLE THAT NEED YOU?
208
00:07:15,969 --> 00:07:18,437
TYLER'S 12!
HE DOESN'T NEED ME ANYMORE.
209
00:07:18,439 --> 00:07:20,906
JORDAN? HE'S 7.
HE'LL DO WHATEVER TYLER DOES.
210
00:07:20,908 --> 00:07:23,108
I DON'T THINK
YOU'VE THOUGHT THIS THROUGH.
211
00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,576
DID YOU THINK
TO TALK TO ANYBODY?
212
00:07:24,578 --> 00:07:26,378
UH, YEAH.
I TALKED TO DAD.
213
00:07:26,380 --> 00:07:27,813
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?
214
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,548
BECAUSE HE'S OUR DAD.
215
00:07:29,550 --> 00:07:31,550
YEAH, BUT THAT'S ALSO WHY
YOU DON'T TALK TO HIM,
216
00:07:31,552 --> 00:07:33,552
ESPECIALLY ABOUT
BIG LIFE DECISIONS.
217
00:07:33,554 --> 00:07:34,886
I KNOW, I KNOW.
[ SIGHS ]
218
00:07:34,888 --> 00:07:37,789
CAN YOU SLEEP?
219
00:07:41,727 --> 00:07:43,728
[ SIGHS ]
220
00:07:43,730 --> 00:07:45,730
GOOD NIGHT, BROTHER.
221
00:07:52,738 --> 00:07:54,606
OH, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE? HEY, DAD.
222
00:07:54,608 --> 00:07:56,508
YOU GET THE MONEY?
223
00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,949
OH, SO, CASHING IN HIS
BANK ACCOUNT WAS YOUR IDEA.
224
00:08:03,951 --> 00:08:05,417
OF COURSE IT WAS.
225
00:08:05,419 --> 00:08:06,585
THIS IS A GREAT
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY.
226
00:08:06,587 --> 00:08:07,752
IT'S THE NUMBER-ONE SPORT
IN THE WORLD.
227
00:08:07,754 --> 00:08:10,088
NO, NO, NO.
THAT'S SOCCER.
228
00:08:10,090 --> 00:08:12,157
WELL, YOU CAN'T RENT OUT
SOCCER BALLS.
229
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,093
PADDLEBOARDING -- YOU SET UP
A KIOSK ON THE BEACH
230
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:16,828
ESCONDIDO --
IT'S A GREAT PLACE FOR IT.
231
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,597
I DID A GOOGLE.
232
00:08:18,599 --> 00:08:20,599
JOSH WILL RUN IT,
I'LL SIT ON THE BEACH.
233
00:08:20,601 --> 00:08:21,967
RIGHT, KIDDO?
YEAH, DAD.
234
00:08:21,969 --> 00:08:23,768
HEY, HEY,
Y-YOU WANT IN ON THIS?
235
00:08:23,770 --> 00:08:26,104
NO, I DON'T WANT IN ON ANYTHING
THIS FAMILY IS INVOLVED WITH.
236
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,973
I THINK YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE
OF HIS SITUATION.
237
00:08:27,975 --> 00:08:29,975
HE NEEDS TO GO HOME,
FIND A JOB,
238
00:08:29,977 --> 00:08:32,143
AND TELL HIS FAMILY
WHAT'S GOING ON.
239
00:08:32,145 --> 00:08:33,612
HE'S GONNA DO
WHAT I TOLD HIM TO DO.
240
00:08:33,614 --> 00:08:35,146
I'M HIS FATHER.
NO, YOU'RE A LUNATIC.
241
00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:36,448
YEAH, WELL,
YOU'RE A BUZZKILL.
242
00:08:36,450 --> 00:08:37,849
OH, WHERE'D
YOU LEARN THAT TERM?
243
00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,184
I KEEP UP
WITH THE NEW JARGON.
244
00:08:40,119 --> 00:08:42,621
HEY. HEY,
W-W-WAIT A MINUTE. WAIT.
245
00:08:42,623 --> 00:08:44,890
NO. WHERE YOU GOING?
YOU CAN'T -- HEY!
246
00:08:44,892 --> 00:08:46,658
THAT IS NOT
YOUR MONEY, MARC.
247
00:08:46,660 --> 00:08:48,827
THAT'S JOSH'S MONEY.
THAT'S HIS NEST EGG.
248
00:08:48,829 --> 00:08:50,128
Josh: YEAH,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
249
00:08:50,130 --> 00:08:52,163
I'M TAKING IT SOMEPLACE
FOR SAFE KEEPING
250
00:08:52,165 --> 00:08:54,132
UNTIL I CAN TALK YOU
OUT OF THIS. YOU SOUND
251
00:08:54,134 --> 00:08:56,001
OH, THAT'S RICH.
DON'T LISTEN TO HIM, JOSH.
252
00:08:56,003 --> 00:08:58,069
THIS IS THE BEST THING
WE'VE EVER DONE, RIGHT? RIGHT.
253
00:08:58,071 --> 00:08:59,638
YOU'RE BOTH NUTS.
254
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,740
I'M NU-- OH, YOU!
255
00:09:12,852 --> 00:09:15,820
[ SIGHS ]
256
00:09:15,822 --> 00:09:17,556
HEY, WHAT'S UP?
257
00:09:17,558 --> 00:09:19,024
WHAT'S
WITH THE GLASSES?
258
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,926
DID YOU SEE MY CAR
OUT THERE?
259
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:22,994
YOU LOST YOUR CAR?
UH, NEVER MIND.
260
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,931
LOOK, I-I NEED TO STASH THIS BAG
OF MONEY SOMEWHERE TEMPORARILY.
261
00:09:25,933 --> 00:09:27,532
I WAS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD.
262
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:30,201
I THOUGHT THIS MIGHT BE
A-A GOOD PLACE TO...
263
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,837
I'M RETHINKING IT.
I'M RETHINKING IT.
264
00:09:32,839 --> 00:09:34,072
YEAH, THAT'S
A GOOD CALL.
265
00:09:34,074 --> 00:09:35,507
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
266
00:09:35,509 --> 00:09:37,509
I'M JUST GETTING
SOME REALLY BAD IDEAS.
267
00:09:37,511 --> 00:09:39,044
APPRECIATE YOUR HONESTY.
I'M GONNA GO.
268
00:09:39,046 --> 00:09:40,545
ARE THERE, LIKE,
HUNDREDS IN THERE?
269
00:09:40,547 --> 00:09:43,014
NEVER MIND.
I HOPE YOU FIND YOUR CAR.
270
00:09:43,016 --> 00:09:44,583
YOU WANT TO GO IN
ON A BOAT?
271
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,084
NO.
272
00:09:55,728 --> 00:09:59,531
WHAT? MOM!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
273
00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:00,966
I'M COMING TO SEE YOU.
274
00:10:00,968 --> 00:10:02,200
THAT'S NOT MY HOUSE.
275
00:10:02,202 --> 00:10:04,703
WELL, IT LOOKS
LIKE YOUR HOUSE.
276
00:10:04,705 --> 00:10:07,606
NO, ACTUALLY, IT DOESN'T.
THIS IS MY HOUSE.
277
00:10:11,877 --> 00:10:14,212
I LOVE YOU, BABY.
278
00:10:14,214 --> 00:10:16,181
[ BOTH GROAN ]
279
00:10:17,817 --> 00:10:19,551
WHAT'S THIS?
280
00:10:19,553 --> 00:10:20,819
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
281
00:10:20,821 --> 00:10:22,587
THAT'S NOTHING.
I'M THIN.
282
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,055
YOUR FACE LOOKS PUFFY.
283
00:10:24,057 --> 00:10:25,724
WHOSE BACKPACK IS THAT?
284
00:10:25,726 --> 00:10:26,925
[ GASPS ]
285
00:10:26,927 --> 00:10:28,893
OH, MY GOD!
WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?
286
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,729
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
THIS IS JOSH'S KID'S.
287
00:10:30,731 --> 00:10:32,564
IT'S FILLED WITH MONEY.
I'M KEEPING AN EYE ON IT.
288
00:10:32,566 --> 00:10:34,733
SO I'M GUESSING
YOUR FATHER'S HERE. YEAH.
289
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,301
WAIT. WHAT? WHY?
290
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,069
I KNEW IT.
WHERE'S HE LIVING NOW?
291
00:10:38,071 --> 00:10:39,771
IS HE STILL
IN TEXAS SOMEWHERE?
292
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,606
NO, THAT'S HIS HOUSE
RIGHT THERE.
293
00:10:41,608 --> 00:10:44,643
[ GASPS ] PATHETIC.
294
00:10:44,645 --> 00:10:46,611
OKAY, I DON'T
WANT TO SEE HIM.
295
00:10:46,613 --> 00:10:47,846
YEAH, I-I DON'T WANT TO,
EITHER, ALL RIGHT?
296
00:10:47,848 --> 00:10:49,080
BUT WE'RE TO HELP JOSH.
297
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:50,949
HE'S GOING THROUGH
A ROUGH PATCH,
298
00:10:50,951 --> 00:10:52,784
AND -- AND DAD IS LEADING HIM
INTO IT.
299
00:10:52,786 --> 00:10:53,985
YOU KNOW HE IS.
MM-HMM.
300
00:10:53,987 --> 00:10:55,186
WHAT'S HE LOOK LIKE NOW?
301
00:10:55,188 --> 00:10:56,988
HE WAS PUDGY
THE LAST TIME I SAW HIM.
302
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:58,590
W-WHO? JOSH OR DAD?
303
00:10:58,592 --> 00:10:59,758
BOTH.
304
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,959
LOOK,
LISTEN TO ME, MOM.
305
00:11:00,961 --> 00:11:02,661
THERE ARE BIGGER PROBLEMS
AT HAND.
306
00:11:02,663 --> 00:11:04,863
CAN YOU STOP THINKING ABOUT
FOOD AND FAT FOR FIVE MINUTES
307
00:11:04,865 --> 00:11:06,097
AND JUST BE A MOTHER?
308
00:11:06,099 --> 00:11:08,099
WELL, THAT'S
NOT VERY NICE.
309
00:11:08,101 --> 00:11:09,601
HOW DO I LOOK?
310
00:11:09,603 --> 00:11:11,703
YOU LOOK GREAT, MOM.
YOU LOOK VERY THIN.
311
00:11:11,705 --> 00:11:14,139
I DO PILATES.
312
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:17,175
GOOD FOR YOU.
313
00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:22,614
HELLO? DAD? JOSH?
314
00:11:22,616 --> 00:11:24,616
COME ON IN.
315
00:11:24,618 --> 00:11:26,651
THEY MUST BE OUT
IN THE TRAILER.
316
00:11:26,653 --> 00:11:28,953
WELL, GO GET YOUR BROTHER.
I WANT TO SEE HIM.
317
00:11:28,955 --> 00:11:31,856
ALL RIGHT, WELL, OKAY, BUT
THIS IS -- IT'S ABOUT HIS LIFE.
318
00:11:31,858 --> 00:11:33,825
IT'S NOT ABOUT HIS WEIGHT,
ALL RIGHT?
319
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:36,795
I JUST WANT TO TALK TO HIM.
IT'S FINE. DON'T WORRY SO MUCH.
320
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,229
OKAY.
321
00:11:40,966 --> 00:11:42,200
[ DOOR CLOSES ]
322
00:11:44,003 --> 00:11:46,004
MOM WANTS TO TALK TO YOU
IN THE HOUSE.
323
00:11:46,006 --> 00:11:48,206
AM I IN TROUBLE?
YES. YOU'RE IN BIG TROUBLE.
324
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:50,675
YOU DO NOT
HAVE TO GO IN THERE.
325
00:11:50,677 --> 00:11:52,677
WILL YOU TELL HER DAD SAID
I DON'T HAVE TO COME IN THERE?
326
00:11:52,679 --> 00:11:55,246
JUST COME IN THE HOUSE.
YOU STAY OUT HERE.
327
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,149
[ SIGHS ]
328
00:12:01,253 --> 00:12:03,888
[ FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING ]
329
00:12:03,890 --> 00:12:07,325
MOM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!
I JUST BOUGHT THAT STUFF.
330
00:12:07,327 --> 00:12:09,094
YOU CAN'T HAVE THIS STUFF
IN THIS HOUSE.
331
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:10,762
IT'S DANGEROUS.
332
00:12:10,764 --> 00:12:12,664
IT'S EASIER TO BECOME A FATTY
WHEN YOU'RE OLDER.
333
00:12:12,666 --> 00:12:14,032
YEAH, BUT THAT STUFF'S
ON MY DIET.
334
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,767
OH, YOU'RE
NOT GONNA UNDERSTAND.
335
00:12:15,769 --> 00:12:17,769
I CAN'T BE IN THE SAME HOUSE
WITH ALL OF THIS.
336
00:12:17,771 --> 00:12:19,170
EITHER IT GOES OR I GO.
337
00:12:19,172 --> 00:12:20,872
OOH, DON'T
MAKE ME CHOOSE.
338
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:22,273
UGH.
339
00:12:22,275 --> 00:12:24,342
HELLO, JOSHUA.
COME HERE, BABY.
340
00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,777
WHAT HAPPENED?
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
341
00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,113
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
OH, MY GOD.
342
00:12:30,683 --> 00:12:33,251
OH, YOU LOOK BETTER SINCE
THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU.
343
00:12:33,253 --> 00:12:34,686
OH, THANKS, MOM.
344
00:12:34,688 --> 00:12:36,688
WHY'D YOU
SCREW EVERYTHING UP?
345
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,224
WHAT? YOU -- YOU MEAN, WHY DID I
TAKE CONTROL OF MY LIFE?
346
00:12:39,226 --> 00:12:41,226
LOOK, WHY DON'T YOU
JUST SIT DOWN?
347
00:12:41,228 --> 00:12:43,027
I'LL TRY TO MAKE US
SOME DINNER.
348
00:12:43,029 --> 00:12:44,362
NO REASON
TO START TRYING NOW.
349
00:12:49,702 --> 00:12:51,136
THERE YOU GO.
350
00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:53,071
WHERE'D THIS BROCCOLI SLAW
COME FROM?
351
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:54,272
I HAD IT WITH ME.
352
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:55,440
THAT'S DISTURBING.
353
00:12:55,442 --> 00:12:57,108
DON'T BE SO JUDGMENTAL.
354
00:12:57,110 --> 00:12:59,944
WOULD EITHER OF YOU LIKE
ANY OF MY FAT-FREE DRESSING?
355
00:12:59,946 --> 00:13:02,380
NO THANKS.
NO, THAT'S DISGUSTING.
356
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:07,719
SO, JOSH, TELL YOUR MOTHER
ABOUT THIS RIDICULOUS PLAN.
357
00:13:07,721 --> 00:13:10,922
ME AND DAD ARE OPENING A
PADDLE BOAT BUSINESS IN MEXICO.
358
00:13:10,924 --> 00:13:14,793
YOU'RE AS CRAZY AS HE IS!
GO HOME, JOSHUA!
359
00:13:14,795 --> 00:13:17,061
THANK YOU.
LISTEN TO MOM.
360
00:13:17,063 --> 00:13:18,229
YOU HAVE A GOOD LIFE.
361
00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:19,798
EVERYONE HAS PROBLEMS.
THEY PASS.
362
00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:21,399
JUST GO HOME, JOSHUA.
363
00:13:21,401 --> 00:13:23,067
YOU'LL NEVER DO BETTER
THAN YOUR WIFE.
364
00:13:23,069 --> 00:13:24,302
SHE'S BEAUTIFUL.
365
00:13:24,304 --> 00:13:27,071
WAIT. LOVE DOESN'T
EVEN FACTOR INTO IT?
366
00:13:27,073 --> 00:13:29,107
OH.
[ DOOR OPENS ]
367
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:30,942
OH, NO.
368
00:13:30,944 --> 00:13:34,179
LET ME GUESS THE TOPIC
OF CONVERSATION -- ME.
369
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,947
[ SIGHS ]
OH, WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
370
00:13:35,949 --> 00:13:37,749
HERE WE GO.
THE MADMAN IS HERE.
371
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:38,950
I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU.
372
00:13:38,952 --> 00:13:40,752
WELL,
YOU'RE LOOKING AT ME.
373
00:13:40,754 --> 00:13:42,754
HI, TONI.
YOU LOOK TERRIFIC.
374
00:13:42,756 --> 00:13:43,922
YOU'RE SO SKINNY.
375
00:13:43,924 --> 00:13:45,190
STOP TRYING TO CHARM ME,
YOU MONSTER.
376
00:13:45,192 --> 00:13:46,958
FRANKLY, I HAVEN'T
TALKED ABOUT YOU
377
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,827
FOR AS LONG
AS I HAVEN'T SPOKEN TO YOU,
378
00:13:48,829 --> 00:13:50,428
AND I'D LIKE
TO CONTINUE DOING BOTH.
379
00:13:50,430 --> 00:13:51,863
AH, FAMILY DINNER.
380
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,097
WE HAVEN'T HAD ONE OF THESE
IN 30 YEARS.
381
00:13:53,099 --> 00:13:54,833
WHAT DID YOU
DRAG JOSH INTO?
382
00:13:54,835 --> 00:13:56,968
ONLY THE MOST TREMENDOUS,
LIFE-CHANGING
383
00:13:56,970 --> 00:13:58,937
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY
HE'S EVER HAD.
384
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:01,105
THIS IS SO TYPICAL.
YOU'LL NEVER CHANGE.
385
00:14:01,107 --> 00:14:03,341
THAT'S WHY JOSH
HAD TO GO TO COMMUNITY COLLEGE.
386
00:14:03,343 --> 00:14:05,009
W-W-W-WAIT. WHAT?
387
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:07,445
YOUR FATHER DID THE EXACT SAME
THING YOU'RE DOING.
388
00:14:07,447 --> 00:14:09,781
HE TOOK ALL OUR MONEY IN CASH
AND GAVE IT TO A GUY
389
00:14:09,783 --> 00:14:11,783
WHO SAID HE WAS BUILDING
AN AMUSEMENT PARK.
390
00:14:11,785 --> 00:14:13,117
HE WAS
A PROFESSIONAL CLOWN.
391
00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:14,452
WHAT HAPPENED?
NOTHING.
392
00:14:14,454 --> 00:14:16,487
APPARENTLY, YOUR FATHER
WAS THE REAL CLOWN.
393
00:14:16,489 --> 00:14:18,056
THE GUY DISAPPEARED.
394
00:14:18,058 --> 00:14:20,825
I WAS DENIED AN EDUCATION
BECAUSE OF A CLOWN?
395
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,394
[ INHALES SHARPLY ] IT'S A TOUGH
TRUTH TO SWALLOW, BRO.
396
00:14:23,396 --> 00:14:25,129
YOU WERE NEVER
A GREAT STUDENT, ANYWAY.
397
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,364
IT ALL LOOKED GREAT
ON PAPER.
398
00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:27,966
I MEAN,
WHAT AM I GONNA TELL YOU?
399
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,467
THIS FOOD IS TERRIBLE.
400
00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:31,803
YOU STILL HAVE ANY OF THAT
AWFUL DRESSING YOU CARRY AROUND?
401
00:14:31,805 --> 00:14:32,971
THANK YOU.
402
00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,906
A CLOWN?
YEAH, WHAT IS IT WITH YOU?
403
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,374
PADDLEBOARDS,
AMUSEMENT PARKS --
404
00:14:36,376 --> 00:14:38,309
I MEAN, WHAT'S WITH
THE RECREATION-BASED,
405
00:14:38,311 --> 00:14:40,178
BAD-INVESTMENT IDEAS?
406
00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,313
THEY WEREN'T ALL
RECREATION-BASED. THEY WERE ALL BAD.
407
00:14:42,315 --> 00:14:43,915
WE HAD A LOT
OF GREAT OPPORTUNITIES,
408
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:45,316
A LOT OF GREAT
BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES
409
00:14:45,318 --> 00:14:46,551
THAT WE MISSED
BECAUSE OF YOU.
410
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,186
HUH? THE SALMON FARM?
411
00:14:48,188 --> 00:14:50,321
OH, BECAUSE I DIDN'T WANT
TO MOVE TO NOVA SCOTIA?
412
00:14:50,323 --> 00:14:52,523
YOU DIDN'T WANT TO MOVE ANYWHERE
TO SUPPORT MY DREAMS.
413
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:54,192
YOU DESTROYED THIS FAMILY!
414
00:14:54,194 --> 00:14:55,526
WAIT.
I THINK THAT WAS 50/50.
415
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:57,362
WHY DO YOU SAY
SUCH HURTFUL THINGS?
416
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,063
BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY WAY
TO GET YOUR ATTENTION.
417
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:00,265
THAT'S WHY I HAVE
A RAGE PROBLEM.
418
00:15:00,267 --> 00:15:03,201
BAH! SHUT UP!
ALL OF YOU!
419
00:15:03,203 --> 00:15:05,503
CAN I TALK?!
IS IT MY TURN YET?!
420
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,072
I'VE WAITED 45 YEARS
TO TALK!
421
00:15:08,074 --> 00:15:09,274
I SCREWED UP MY LIFE!
422
00:15:09,276 --> 00:15:11,409
I LOST THE BEST SHITTY JOB
I COULD FIND!
423
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,844
I'M MENTALLY DOOMED!
424
00:15:12,846 --> 00:15:14,045
LOOK AT ALL OF YOU!
425
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:17,448
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
YOU'RE ALL DISASTERS!
426
00:15:17,450 --> 00:15:21,252
I DON'T WANT TO BE
IN THIS FAMILY ANYMORE!
427
00:15:21,254 --> 00:15:23,254
UGH!
428
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,028
WAAH-WAAH-WAAH.
WHAT A BABY.
429
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:31,863
THAT WAS CHILDISH.
430
00:15:31,865 --> 00:15:34,866
JUST LET HIM CRY ALONE.
I ALWAYS DID.
431
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:37,001
HE'LL BE BACK.
432
00:15:38,570 --> 00:15:39,537
SEE?
433
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,472
[ GRUNTS ]
434
00:15:48,380 --> 00:15:51,082
[ HUMMING ]
435
00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:55,320
I THOUGHT
YOU THREW THAT OUT.
436
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:57,255
I DID.
I PULLED IT OUT OF THE TRASH.
437
00:15:57,257 --> 00:15:58,556
ISN'T IT ALL MELTED?
438
00:15:58,558 --> 00:16:00,325
JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT.
439
00:16:00,327 --> 00:16:02,093
IT'S LIKE A MILKSHAKE.
440
00:16:02,095 --> 00:16:04,429
I HOPE THAT DUMMY
DIDN'T LOSE THAT BACKPACK.
441
00:16:04,431 --> 00:16:07,131
[ KNOCK OF DOOR ]
JUST COME IN, JOSH.
442
00:16:07,133 --> 00:16:10,068
HEY. OH, HI. OH.
443
00:16:10,070 --> 00:16:12,603
OH, SHIT, DAVE.
HEY, MAN. WHAT'S UP?
444
00:16:12,605 --> 00:16:14,272
UH, NOTHING.
445
00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:16,407
I'M -- I'M SUPPOSED
TO BE HERE, RIGHT?
446
00:16:16,409 --> 00:16:18,910
OH, YES. YES.
THAT'S WHAT I MEANT TO SAY.
447
00:16:18,912 --> 00:16:20,278
YES, YOU'RE --
UH, GOOD TO SEE YOU.
448
00:16:20,280 --> 00:16:22,580
GLAD YOU'RE HERE.
OH, FOR THE POD...CAST.
449
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:23,915
YEAH, WE'RE DOING
THE PODCAST. OKAY.
450
00:16:23,917 --> 00:16:25,249
RIGHT. I KNEW
YOU WERE COMING.
451
00:16:25,251 --> 00:16:26,617
UM, OH,
BEFORE I FORGET,
452
00:16:26,619 --> 00:16:28,920
THERE'S A GROWN MAN
SITTING ON YOUR YARD,
453
00:16:28,922 --> 00:16:31,923
HUGGING A HELLO KITTY BACKPACK
AND CRYING.
454
00:16:31,925 --> 00:16:33,157
YEAH,
THAT'S MY BROTHER.
455
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,461
OKAY.
YEAH.
456
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:39,097
S-S-SHOULD WE DO ANY--
457
00:16:39,099 --> 00:16:41,132
NO, DON'T WORRY
ABOUT HIM.
458
00:16:41,134 --> 00:16:42,934
WHERE DO I KNOW YOU
FROM?
459
00:16:42,936 --> 00:16:44,635
UH...I DON'T KNOW.
460
00:16:44,637 --> 00:16:47,105
I'VE NEVER REALLY DONE ANYTHING
THAT OLD PEOPLE WATCH.
461
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,473
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
HE'S IN THE MOVIES?
462
00:16:48,475 --> 00:16:49,674
I'VE NEVER SEEN HIM.
463
00:16:49,676 --> 00:16:52,143
SEE WHAT I MEAN?
[ CHUCKLES ]
464
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:53,344
I'M SORRY. WHO? WHAT?
465
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,946
OH, IT'S --
THESE ARE MY PARENTS.
466
00:16:54,948 --> 00:16:56,948
THIS IS MY MOM, TONI.
THIS IS MY DAD, LARRY.
467
00:16:56,950 --> 00:16:58,282
IT'S DAVE CROSS --
OLD FRIEND OF MINE.
468
00:16:58,284 --> 00:16:59,951
OH, MY GOD. YES.
469
00:16:59,953 --> 00:17:03,121
OH, I'VE --
I'VE HEARD A LOT ABOUT...
470
00:17:03,123 --> 00:17:04,355
WOW, OKAY.
471
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:06,357
AND THEY'RE STILL TOGETHER.
THAT'S RARE.
472
00:17:06,359 --> 00:17:07,558
Both:
WE'RE NOT TOGETHER.
473
00:17:07,560 --> 00:17:09,327
HE'S A MONSTER.
I COULD GO TO MY RV.
474
00:17:09,329 --> 00:17:11,029
YEAH, WELL, GOOD.
475
00:17:11,031 --> 00:17:12,630
WHY DON'T YOU JUST DRIVE IT
OFF A CLIFF? PSHT!
476
00:17:12,632 --> 00:17:14,298
OH, NICE. QUICK.
477
00:17:14,300 --> 00:17:16,200
YEAH. BOOM.
THAT'S WHERE I GET IT. [ CHUCKLES ]
478
00:17:16,202 --> 00:17:17,969
Larry: [ GRUNTS ]
Toni: [ CHUCKLES ]
479
00:17:17,971 --> 00:17:20,238
WELL, YOU'RE NOT NECESSARILY
KNOWN FOR YOUR QUICKNESS.
480
00:17:20,240 --> 00:17:23,541
I MEAN, YOU'RE VERY FUNNY,
BUT YOU'RE NOT THE QUICKEST GUY.
481
00:17:26,145 --> 00:17:27,578
HEY, LOOK, I-I'M SORRY
IT WAS WEIRD IN THERE.
482
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:29,147
IT'S ALL RIGHT.
NO, BUT I -- NO.
483
00:17:29,149 --> 00:17:31,482
I'M IN THE MIDDLE
OF A SITUATION, ALL RIGHT?
484
00:17:31,484 --> 00:17:34,152
MY BROTHER IS GOING THROUGH
SOME SORT OF MIDLIFE MELTDOWN.
485
00:17:34,154 --> 00:17:36,387
HE SHOWS UP HERE THE OTHER DAY
WITH A BAG OF CASH.
486
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,322
IS YOUR BROTHER OKAY?
487
00:17:38,324 --> 00:17:39,590
I DON'T KNOW, MAN.
488
00:17:39,592 --> 00:17:41,492
I-I WAS TRYING TO TALK HIM
OFF THE LEDGE,
489
00:17:41,494 --> 00:17:43,661
AND -- AND THEN, YOU KNOW,
THEY SHOWED UP,
490
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:45,029
AND NOW IT'S CRAZY TOWN.
491
00:17:45,031 --> 00:17:46,998
LIKE, I'M DISTRACTED,
AND, YOU KNOW,
492
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,366
I'VE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD
TO YOU COMING ON.
493
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,068
AND I DON'T KNOW HOW LONG
YOU'RE GONNA BE IN TOWN,
494
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,670
BUT -- BUT IF WE WANTED
TO DO ANOTHER DAY --
495
00:17:52,672 --> 00:17:54,338
NO, NO, NO, NO.
MARC, NO.
496
00:17:54,340 --> 00:17:56,340
YOU -- IN FACT, LET'S NOT
DO IT ANOTHER DAY.
497
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:59,043
LET'S DO IT RIGHT NOW, AND
LET'S DO IT WITH YOUR FAMILY.
498
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:00,611
UH, REALLY?
499
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,513
DUDE, I COME
FROM JEWISH-FAMILY CRAZY.
500
00:18:02,515 --> 00:18:04,515
I CAN SPEAK THAT LANGUAGE.
I CAN MEDIATE.
501
00:18:04,517 --> 00:18:06,284
I CAN TAKE SOME OF THE ONUS
OFF YOU.
502
00:18:06,286 --> 00:18:08,186
YOU WANT TO DO,
LIKE, A GROUP THERAPY SESSION?
503
00:18:08,188 --> 00:18:11,689
YES, I DO,
AND I HAVE AN IDEA.
504
00:18:11,691 --> 00:18:13,357
YEAH? OKAY,
YOU HAVE A PLAN?
505
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:15,460
I DO.
ALL RIGHT, DAVE.
506
00:18:15,462 --> 00:18:17,095
ALL RIGHT, I'M GONNA DO IT.
I'M GONNA -- I'M --
507
00:18:17,097 --> 00:18:18,396
YEAH,
I THINK IT'S GREAT.
508
00:18:18,398 --> 00:18:19,597
I'M GONNA GO GET THEM.
509
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,432
I'M PSYCHED.
OKAY.
510
00:18:23,435 --> 00:18:26,104
THE ONLY WAY TO CUT THROUGH
TENSION IS WITH TRUTH, YEAH?
511
00:18:26,106 --> 00:18:28,039
Marc: MM-HMM.
512
00:18:28,041 --> 00:18:30,575
NOW, FORTUNATELY,
I HAVE BROUGHT ALONG SOME TOOLS
513
00:18:30,577 --> 00:18:32,376
THAT WILL HELP US
WITH THAT.
514
00:18:32,378 --> 00:18:33,611
REALLY?
YES.
515
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:35,046
THAT --
THAT'S YOUR BIG PLAN?
516
00:18:35,048 --> 00:18:36,547
YES, MARC, REALLY,
THAT'S MY PLAN.
517
00:18:36,549 --> 00:18:38,316
OKAY, OKAY.
518
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:39,550
I GUESS IF THEY ALL WANT TO,
THAT'S -- ALL RIGHT, FINE.
519
00:18:39,552 --> 00:18:40,751
YEAH, OKAY.
520
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,153
GUYS, THIS IS WEED.
521
00:18:42,155 --> 00:18:43,554
YEAH, WE KNOW.
522
00:18:43,556 --> 00:18:45,156
OR GRASS, I THINK YOU FOLKS
CALLED IT IN THE DAY.
523
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,390
YEAH, MARIJUANA.
YEAH.
524
00:18:46,392 --> 00:18:50,094
OKAY, THIS
IS HINDU KUSH, OKAY?
525
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,762
AND IT WILL REALLY
OPEN YOU UP.
526
00:18:51,764 --> 00:18:53,231
THE LAST TIME
I SMOKED THIS,
527
00:18:53,233 --> 00:18:54,832
I CAME UP
WITH THE TERM "SQUEAKQUEL."
528
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:02,240
[ SLOW-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
529
00:19:18,657 --> 00:19:20,791
[ MUSIC STOPS ]
WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU KNOW I DON'T SMOKE.
530
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,627
OH, RIGHT. SORRY.
YEAH, SORRY.
531
00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,495
UH, HERE.
532
00:19:25,597 --> 00:19:28,399
[ UP-TEMPO MUSIC PLAYS ]
533
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,693
[ LARRY SOBBING ]
534
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,866
I'M SORRY, KID.
I-I-I'M SORRY.
535
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:04,235
Marc: ON THE MIKE, DAD.
ON THE MIKE.
536
00:20:04,237 --> 00:20:05,636
I'M SORRY, KID.
537
00:20:05,638 --> 00:20:08,472
I'M SORRY I MISLED YOU.
538
00:20:08,474 --> 00:20:10,641
THAT'S IT?
THAT'S ALL YOU GOT?
539
00:20:10,643 --> 00:20:12,476
[ SIGHS ]
540
00:20:12,478 --> 00:20:15,713
I, UM -- I WISH
I COULD TAKE IT ALL BACK.
541
00:20:15,715 --> 00:20:19,717
I-I-I DO, BUT I CAN'T.
I-I REALLY CAN'T.
542
00:20:19,719 --> 00:20:23,821
I-I-I WOULD LIKE TO SAY
THAT I WILL NE-- I WILL STOP,
543
00:20:23,823 --> 00:20:26,490
UH, BUT I THINK IT'S
A LITTLE TOO LATE, THAT'S ALL.
544
00:20:26,492 --> 00:20:29,994
IT'S, UH...
BUT I-I LOVE ALL OF YOU.
545
00:20:33,265 --> 00:20:34,832
HOLY SHIT.
546
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,668
THEY SHOULD CALL THIS WEED
TRUTH SERUM.
547
00:20:37,670 --> 00:20:39,537
HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT THAT?
548
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:40,905
I THINK THAT'S THE BEST
WE'RE GONNA GET OUT OF HIM.
549
00:20:40,907 --> 00:20:42,406
AND I THINK
IT WAS PRETTY GOOD.
550
00:20:42,408 --> 00:20:47,545
YEAH. YEAH, IT'S --
IT'S JUST SO SAD.
551
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,614
I'M SORRY, TOO, JOSH.
552
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:52,683
I WANT EVERYTHING GOOD
FOR YOU.
553
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:55,586
I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH.
554
00:20:57,289 --> 00:21:00,458
I'D LOVE YOU MORE
IF YOU LOST 10 POUNDS, BUT...
555
00:21:00,460 --> 00:21:03,894
THAT -- THAT WAS --
THAT WAS NICE.
556
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:05,930
NOT -- NOT SURE THE --
THE LAST PART
557
00:21:05,932 --> 00:21:08,199
WAS REALLY NECESSARY,
BUT, YOU KNOW.
558
00:21:08,201 --> 00:21:09,867
YOU COULD LOSE 10 POUNDS
YOURSELF.
559
00:21:11,637 --> 00:21:13,938
YEAH, WELCOME
TO MY CHILDHOOD.
560
00:21:13,940 --> 00:21:15,773
HOW'D THAT FEEL?
561
00:21:17,609 --> 00:21:19,810
HOW YOU DOING, MAN?
562
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:25,549
THIS IS PROBABLY THE LAST TIME
WE'RE ALL GONNA BE TOGETHER.
563
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:26,784
EVER.
564
00:21:32,257 --> 00:21:35,026
I SHOULD GO HOME.
565
00:21:37,629 --> 00:21:39,263
WHAT THE HELL
WAS I THINKING?
566
00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:40,731
IT HAPPENS, MAN.
567
00:21:40,733 --> 00:21:42,900
YOU JUST GOT A CASE
OF DAD BRAIN. IT'LL FADE.
568
00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:44,568
I LOVE YOU, BROTHER.
THANKS.
569
00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:45,736
I LOVE YOU, TOO, MAN.
570
00:21:45,738 --> 00:21:46,937
[ CHUCKLES ]
571
00:21:46,939 --> 00:21:48,773
DRIVE SAFE. OKAY.
572
00:21:48,775 --> 00:21:49,974
ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT.
573
00:21:49,976 --> 00:21:51,575
BYE.
574
00:21:51,577 --> 00:21:53,477
OH, WHERE YOU GOING?
575
00:21:53,479 --> 00:21:57,248
YOUR FATHER'S
GONNA SHOW ME HIS HOUSE.
576
00:21:57,250 --> 00:22:01,352
I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHO TO ADVISE AGAINST THAT.
577
00:22:01,354 --> 00:22:03,721
[ CHUCKLES ]
578
00:22:03,771 --> 00:22:08,321
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