All language subtitles for Man Down - 02x01 - Perfect Woman.DVDRip.x264-GHOULS.English.orig.Addic7ed.com

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French Download
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,629 Well, does it hurt when you pass water? 2 00:00:04,680 --> 00:00:06,955 - No. - Flow? 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,560 It's like I'm trying to run a bath, but someone's got a tap on in the other room. 4 00:00:09,600 --> 00:00:11,716 - It takes ages. - Righto. 5 00:00:11,760 --> 00:00:14,149 I'm going to need more than "righto". 6 00:00:14,200 --> 00:00:17,112 - Daniel, what do you want from me? - Some help? 7 00:00:17,160 --> 00:00:20,391 Dr Baxter is a very busy man, Daniel. 8 00:00:20,440 --> 00:00:22,078 Look, why are you even here? 9 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:25,715 Well, you've nothing to hide from Auntie. I've picked up your undies, remember. Hmm. 10 00:00:25,760 --> 00:00:28,832 Yellow at the front, brown at the back, just like a Battenberg, Roger. 11 00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:31,110 They take you for granted, don't they? 12 00:00:31,160 --> 00:00:35,073 They do. And it's not as if we haven't noticed that his tinkles take longer. 13 00:00:35,120 --> 00:00:36,109 Eh, hound? 14 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:39,877 Dog in the surgery, that's OK, is it? 15 00:00:39,920 --> 00:00:42,115 Pistachio is always welcome. 16 00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:45,709 It's nice to have a male in the room that doesn't have faulty waterworks. 17 00:00:48,680 --> 00:00:49,795 Unbelievable. 18 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,549 Daniel, you clearly only need reassuring. 19 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:57,479 Look, you probably have a slightly swollen prostate. 20 00:00:57,520 --> 00:00:59,397 Quite normal in a man of your age. 21 00:01:00,600 --> 00:01:02,511 What does he mean, a man my age? 22 00:01:02,560 --> 00:01:04,516 Oh, what a fuss you do make. 23 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:05,834 Help me. 24 00:01:05,880 --> 00:01:08,678 You want me to put my finger up your bum, don't you? 25 00:01:08,720 --> 00:01:10,711 No. 26 00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:13,797 - Not if it's not necessary. - Well, that's the test. 27 00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:16,877 Why do you want Dr Baxter to finger your bottom, Daniel? 28 00:01:16,920 --> 00:01:19,388 - I don't want it. - Right. 29 00:01:20,640 --> 00:01:23,712 Pop behind the curtain, pull your pants aside and relax. 30 00:01:28,440 --> 00:01:29,589 Aside? 31 00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:44,000 Ripped By mstoll 32 00:01:54,160 --> 00:01:56,196 All right, Charlotte, on you get. 33 00:01:56,240 --> 00:01:58,549 - Ashley, yeah. - Emma! 34 00:01:58,600 --> 00:02:01,194 - Emma. - Hey. 35 00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:06,194 - Blimey, are you all right? - Yeah, of course. 36 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:09,038 How come you're out of breath? You only ran from over there. 37 00:02:09,080 --> 00:02:11,640 - I'm fine. - Sir, you've gone grey. 38 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:14,513 You've got a nerve talking about my face, son. You look like the Angel of the North. 39 00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:18,235 I would say come with us, but there are a lot of hills. 40 00:02:18,280 --> 00:02:19,679 Oh. 41 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:21,950 And it would be awful if you had a massive fatal heart attack. 42 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:24,036 What's your nan wearing today? 43 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:27,152 It's just cos, well, you've got her clothes, so... 44 00:02:27,200 --> 00:02:28,599 Prick. 45 00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:32,155 Yeah, that's enough, thank you. Get on the bus, you lot. 46 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:35,357 You need to start looking after yourself. 47 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:37,152 You wouldn't say that if you saw me down the gym. 48 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,270 I would pay money to see you at the gym. 49 00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:41,038 - Hey, Dan. - Oh, God. 50 00:02:41,080 --> 00:02:43,719 - Coming along? - No, he's got a workout. 51 00:02:43,760 --> 00:02:45,830 Yeah, right, good one. 52 00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:47,518 Wobble, wobble! 53 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:49,312 I'll save you a seat, Miss Lipsey. 54 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,715 Hope you've been brushing up on your I Spy. 55 00:02:51,760 --> 00:02:53,432 I have, Alistair. 56 00:02:53,480 --> 00:02:54,799 Hmm. 57 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:57,149 How come you're sitting next to that knob? 58 00:02:57,200 --> 00:02:58,997 You wouldn't sit next to me on the Burghley Castle trip. 59 00:02:59,040 --> 00:03:02,157 Yeah, well, he doesn't fall asleep. Your head weighs a ton. 60 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,838 What, and he's got a light head, has he? 61 00:03:11,400 --> 00:03:12,674 Bye, then! 62 00:03:12,720 --> 00:03:15,712 Oh. Oh, no. 63 00:03:17,240 --> 00:03:19,549 Oh! Oh, hello, everyone! 64 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:21,511 I wonder who I'm related to! 65 00:03:21,560 --> 00:03:23,596 Oh, good! Oh, no! Family tree! 66 00:03:23,640 --> 00:03:25,039 What are you doing here? 67 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:27,230 Smoking you out of your nerd hole. It's lunchtime. 68 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:28,838 Will you keep your voice down? 69 00:03:28,880 --> 00:03:31,030 Oh, we mustn't talk in the library! 70 00:03:31,080 --> 00:03:33,992 We must have a little mint that we get out of our pocket, where our tissue is. 71 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,553 Oh, family tree! 72 00:03:35,600 --> 00:03:37,318 I've had a fucking nightmare today already. 73 00:03:37,360 --> 00:03:40,636 Baxter's put me on cock pills. Seriously, I think it's the endgame, mate. 74 00:03:40,680 --> 00:03:42,557 Sh! 75 00:03:42,600 --> 00:03:44,909 Do you know what my body looks like these days? 76 00:03:44,960 --> 00:03:49,158 Looks like an inbred toddler has picked the pastry off a pork pie 77 00:03:49,200 --> 00:03:51,919 and squeezed the meat into what he thinks is the shape of a man. 78 00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:56,192 Be quiet. Maybe if you'd taken a single day of exercise in your life... 79 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:57,639 Oh, how should I get fit? 80 00:03:57,680 --> 00:03:59,910 I thought I'd come down the library and look at my family tree. 81 00:03:59,960 --> 00:04:02,633 You think you've had a bad morning? 82 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:05,672 The stuff the microfiche has thrown up has been... well, devastating. 83 00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:08,188 - I wonder if... - Oh, ho-ho-ho! 84 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:11,755 Oh, can I have some books, please? Books of my friends. 85 00:04:11,800 --> 00:04:13,711 Family tree! Oh. 86 00:04:18,400 --> 00:04:19,549 Oh, hello. 87 00:04:19,600 --> 00:04:22,797 I like the library. 88 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:25,909 What are you doing? 89 00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,954 Oh, God. 90 00:04:34,680 --> 00:04:35,749 What are you reading? 91 00:04:37,880 --> 00:04:39,836 Oh, Market... I've read that. 92 00:04:39,880 --> 00:04:42,599 It's got... It's got really good markets in it. 93 00:04:43,960 --> 00:04:44,949 Bye. 94 00:04:47,280 --> 00:04:51,159 Anyway, I'm going to get down the gym, hit it hard. 95 00:04:51,200 --> 00:04:54,590 I'm going to cut out the carbs and I'll walk past that tool from maths 96 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,756 and I'll lift a filing cabinet above my head 97 00:04:56,800 --> 00:05:01,112 and I'll go, "Yeah! Hi, Alistair! Fancy a game of I Spy?" 98 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,153 And then, and here's the twist, Brian, I'm going to deliberately shit myself. 99 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,192 Could we, for once, not talk exclusively about you? 100 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:10,879 Hello. What can I get you? 101 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,069 What are you doing? 102 00:05:12,120 --> 00:05:14,076 What's it look like? I'm taking your order. Come on. 103 00:05:14,120 --> 00:05:15,155 You work here? 104 00:05:15,200 --> 00:05:18,636 Yes, obviously. Come on, get a wriggle on. Order! 105 00:05:18,680 --> 00:05:20,193 What the fuck? Bob! 106 00:05:20,240 --> 00:05:22,151 Shakira, hang on. I was... 107 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:24,031 Calm down. 108 00:05:28,520 --> 00:05:30,112 Lovely little run, that. 109 00:05:32,320 --> 00:05:33,992 What just happened? 110 00:05:34,040 --> 00:05:38,238 Oh, that? An idea me and my careers adviser came up with. Stealth work. 111 00:05:38,280 --> 00:05:39,713 Stealth work? 112 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:41,159 Not a lot of jobs about, and my CV's rubbish, 113 00:05:41,200 --> 00:05:44,795 so, if someone leaves their post, bam! I'm in. 114 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,469 Until I'm caught, I'm employed, and it goes on the CV. 115 00:05:48,520 --> 00:05:52,593 That was nine minutes of catering. It's going to look pretty sweet on here. 116 00:05:52,640 --> 00:05:54,358 It's creative. 117 00:05:54,400 --> 00:05:56,277 It's madness. 118 00:05:56,320 --> 00:05:58,151 No employer will be interested in a CV 119 00:05:58,200 --> 00:06:01,749 comprising of a few stolen moments in someone else's job. 120 00:06:01,800 --> 00:06:05,475 God! If I could just have one day off your stereo bullshit! 121 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:09,274 What is wrong with you, Tache? You've been in a right egg since the library. 122 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:11,231 Doesn't matter. Better get back to work. 123 00:06:13,800 --> 00:06:14,869 He's right, 124 00:06:14,920 --> 00:06:16,831 no rest for the wicked. 125 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:18,909 Jo? 126 00:06:21,280 --> 00:06:23,999 - Excuse me, sir! You can't park there! - Oi! Come back! 127 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:28,189 Shakira, do you think I'm fat? 128 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:31,229 As fuck. 129 00:06:34,200 --> 00:06:36,998 - Are you Dan? - Yeah. 130 00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,359 You want a personal trainer, yeah? 131 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:41,233 Yeah, you know, I just thought I might tone up a bit. 132 00:06:41,280 --> 00:06:43,999 - How old? - 43. 133 00:06:45,960 --> 00:06:47,154 Tongue? 134 00:06:47,200 --> 00:06:50,112 Nah. Nah, mate, sorry. 135 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,628 - What do you mean? - You're too far gone. 136 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:53,829 I'm what? 137 00:06:53,880 --> 00:06:56,519 You've slipped over the edge, mate. I'm not a magician. 138 00:06:56,560 --> 00:06:58,391 Fucking hell! You must be able to do something. 139 00:06:58,440 --> 00:07:01,989 If anything, I'd just make you worse. Hang on, look at this. 140 00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,508 - Er... - This. 141 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,757 This. All of this. This... This. 142 00:07:07,800 --> 00:07:09,791 - You're on cock pills, yeah? - No. 143 00:07:09,840 --> 00:07:11,239 Yeah, you are. You're on cock pills. 144 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:16,070 It's all gone, mate, all of... this. It's all gone all bad now. 145 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:21,439 Oh. 146 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:26,030 Oh! Hi. You're... You're from the... 147 00:07:26,080 --> 00:07:27,911 - The library. - Yeah. 148 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:31,635 Yeah, you, um... been to the old gym, yeah? 149 00:07:31,680 --> 00:07:32,749 Yeah, yeah. 150 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,634 I've just been getting back into the, um... kickboxing. Getting back into that. 151 00:07:36,680 --> 00:07:39,433 Oh, you're a kickboxer? 152 00:07:39,480 --> 00:07:41,914 Oh, God, I used to be. Yeah. 153 00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:46,397 I mean, now it's just a really cool way of keeping in shape, you know. 154 00:07:47,640 --> 00:07:49,119 Do a round dose. 155 00:07:49,160 --> 00:07:52,072 Your hair looks good wet. I mean... 156 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,191 ...it would be good dry, it... I like the wet. 157 00:07:55,240 --> 00:07:58,312 In the '80s, we would all wear wet hair gel. 158 00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:00,828 It made everyone look like a paedophile. I wasn't a paedophile. 159 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:03,553 Cos that'd be madness with you, cos you... 160 00:08:03,600 --> 00:08:05,591 What are you? In 1989, you would be what? 161 00:08:05,640 --> 00:08:07,153 Two. 162 00:08:07,200 --> 00:08:10,272 Two? Fuck me! I'd had three cars. 163 00:08:11,840 --> 00:08:13,910 You're not going to give me your number, are you? 164 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:15,951 No, so... 165 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,149 Oh, yeah! 166 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:33,317 Look at it! Look at it! 167 00:08:37,600 --> 00:08:39,636 Listen to some of the text banter we've had. 168 00:08:39,680 --> 00:08:42,513 I said, "Fancy going out tonight, then?" 169 00:08:42,560 --> 00:08:45,120 And then I said, "It's Dan, the tall guy from the gym." 170 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:48,436 And she didn't respond straightaway, so I thought, "Ah, I'd better play it cool." 171 00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:52,393 So, I said, "No biggie if you're not up for it. All cool." 172 00:08:52,440 --> 00:08:54,396 And then straight off the back of it, I said, 173 00:08:54,440 --> 00:08:57,000 "I'm probably just going to go clubbing or whatever. Let me know." 174 00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,632 And then she didn't respond 175 00:08:58,680 --> 00:09:01,069 so in the end I said, "Look, are you getting these texts? 176 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:03,076 "We're heading into out-of-order territory here." 177 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,793 And then she replied. 178 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:09,389 She said, "Sorry, I was in the other room. 179 00:09:09,440 --> 00:09:12,159 "Yes, I could come out. Sounds fun." 180 00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:15,078 Mate, I'm old enough to be her dad and she said I sound fun. 181 00:09:17,560 --> 00:09:19,915 Buy your own Flumps. 182 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,154 What is wrong with you? 183 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,751 Binmen. 184 00:09:24,800 --> 00:09:25,789 What? 185 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:30,638 My ancestors were binmen. 186 00:09:32,120 --> 00:09:35,829 I thought I'd come from a long line of financial advisers or something. 187 00:09:35,880 --> 00:09:37,791 I thought I knew who I was. 188 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,593 And to find out like that, in the library of all places. 189 00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:44,359 You've seen the binmen on our estate, 190 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:47,870 barking at each other in a... a lexicon only they understand. 191 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:51,833 Pat Bellows next door complained - they just left an old fish on his lawn. 192 00:09:51,880 --> 00:09:53,598 Anarchy. 193 00:09:53,640 --> 00:09:58,031 To think I've got that blood coursing through my veins. 194 00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,957 And yet... 195 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,479 Go on. 196 00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:07,193 I can't deny some part of me finds it thrilling. 197 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:10,118 God, I'm so confused. 198 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,033 Go to them. 199 00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:14,752 What? 200 00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,712 I think I've found my happiness in Lottie, Brian, and it's... 201 00:10:17,760 --> 00:10:19,910 it's time for you to find yours. 202 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,911 Go to them. 203 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:25,958 Sounds like a cracking idea. 204 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:28,150 Oi! Oi, you! 205 00:10:32,560 --> 00:10:35,074 These bloody cock pills are ridiculous. 206 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:38,476 I'm going off like a riot hose. I'm waterboarding a rat here. 207 00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,431 Exciting about Lottie, though. 208 00:10:41,720 --> 00:10:44,757 She's amazing, mate. 209 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:48,509 So stressful, though. Where do you take a young hipster? 210 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:51,836 I know just the place, really cool bistro in town. 211 00:10:51,880 --> 00:10:53,108 - Yeah? - She'll love it. 212 00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:57,119 I worked there, day before yesterday. Sweet seven minutes 20. 213 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,435 Guys! Guys. 214 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,040 You'll never guess what they've got over there. 215 00:11:03,080 --> 00:11:05,469 An old teddy strapped to a bin lorry. 216 00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:08,353 Gary and Macca seem like really nice guys. 217 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,710 I told them all about my ancestors, and, get this, 218 00:11:11,760 --> 00:11:15,116 they've invited me along on their bin round later. 219 00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:16,354 They do a night round. 220 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,153 Want to come over and meet the boys? See the bear? 221 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,236 No? 222 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,589 I've ironed those clothes, Daniel. 223 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,552 Are you sure they'll fit? You haven't worn them for years. 224 00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,158 Mind your own business. 225 00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,475 And can you not come in here when I'm in the bath, old woman? 226 00:11:35,520 --> 00:11:40,071 I'm very excited about this new girlfriend. Does she like gardening? 227 00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:42,236 Cos I could do her some cuttings. 228 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:45,750 She is a cool younger woman with a bod made for sin. 229 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,870 She doesn't want to join arthritic pottering club. 230 00:11:47,920 --> 00:11:50,593 Yes, stop fussing, Polly. 231 00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,677 What do I have to do to stop you both from coming into my flat? 232 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:55,472 I don't need you to wash my hair! 233 00:11:55,520 --> 00:11:57,317 Why on earth would I want to wash your hair? 234 00:11:57,360 --> 00:12:00,238 You said you wanted a new youthful appearance 235 00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:04,273 and it's all natural, none of your shop-bought rubbish. 236 00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:08,393 I'm sorry? Sorry? Please tell me you haven't dyed my hair. 237 00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,557 Well, of course I've dyed your hair! You said you wanted to look younger. 238 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:17,919 Sometimes it's just good to freshen your look up, isn't it? 239 00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:20,838 I... I just didn't recognise you at first. 240 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,393 No. Ha! 241 00:12:22,440 --> 00:12:24,829 Ohh... 242 00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:26,677 Uh-oh. 243 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,551 Here comes the 1950s. 244 00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,717 Now, then, you two. Welcome, welcome. 245 00:12:31,760 --> 00:12:34,354 You've had a chance to peruse the menus, I hope? 246 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:36,152 Yeah, just two tequilas to get us going, please. 247 00:12:36,200 --> 00:12:38,714 No, before we start, um... may I ask, er... 248 00:12:38,760 --> 00:12:41,593 how this sauce, er... came to arrive at your table? 249 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:43,949 Yes, I brought it over. Two tequilas, please. 250 00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,911 We don't help ourselves to condiments. 251 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:49,635 So, I'll pop that over here 252 00:12:49,680 --> 00:12:53,116 and, when you're ready, give me a little call and I'll bring it over. 253 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:54,832 Now then, drink? 254 00:12:54,880 --> 00:12:57,713 - Two tequilas, please. - Ladies first. That's how we do things. 255 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:01,230 - Just a small Merlot, please. - Oh, cool, yeah. 256 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,350 Yeah, we should. We should just ease into it. 257 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,472 That's so cool. Yeah, I'll just have a pint, please. 258 00:13:06,520 --> 00:13:08,670 - We only do wine. - Yup. 259 00:13:08,720 --> 00:13:10,278 A pint of wine? 260 00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:11,878 Yes. 261 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:13,751 You want a pint of wine? 262 00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:16,075 Yes, if that's all right? 263 00:13:16,120 --> 00:13:19,112 Well, I'll have to open another bottle, but, er... 264 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:23,838 Man! What's his problem? 265 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,750 Ah, did you have a good day? 266 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:30,234 Yeah, yeah, thanks. 267 00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:33,397 - What did you do? - Just shopping. 268 00:13:33,440 --> 00:13:37,274 Oh, shopping. Oh, wow. Where... Where were you shopping? 269 00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,038 Just at the market. 270 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,116 You... You bought some... 271 00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,469 Just bought some vegetables. 272 00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:45,192 Oh, veget... 273 00:13:45,240 --> 00:13:48,038 I love veg. Mmm! 274 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,435 I love them. 275 00:13:51,760 --> 00:13:53,830 Oh. 276 00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:55,711 I ate a whole bag of potatoes once. 277 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,438 Oh, look out. 278 00:14:02,960 --> 00:14:04,996 Oh, um... 279 00:14:05,040 --> 00:14:07,838 can we have some ketchup for our table, please? 280 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,874 You... You haven't got your food yet. 281 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,239 No, but you said if I wanted some, I should... 282 00:14:14,280 --> 00:14:18,034 Right! I felt a little bit uncomfortable with the pint of wine. 283 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,992 You don't need sauce on your table, do you? 284 00:14:21,040 --> 00:14:22,029 Or do you? 285 00:14:22,080 --> 00:14:24,514 You want your sauce when you've got your food! 286 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:29,236 I'll bring the condiments when there's food on the table! 287 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:34,229 I can't be making multiple journeys to your table when there's no food here! 288 00:14:34,280 --> 00:14:37,078 When you've got your food, I'll bring your sauce! 289 00:14:37,120 --> 00:14:42,956 But I won't do it before! I won't bring it to an empty space! I just won't do it! 290 00:14:46,960 --> 00:14:47,995 Jesus. 291 00:14:51,960 --> 00:14:53,871 Phew. 292 00:14:53,920 --> 00:14:55,717 Cheers. 293 00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,591 Mm. Mm! 294 00:14:57,640 --> 00:14:59,517 Mm-mm-mm. 295 00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,149 Mm. 296 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,191 Mm. 297 00:15:04,240 --> 00:15:05,912 Mm. 298 00:15:05,960 --> 00:15:07,996 Mm-mm! 299 00:15:09,920 --> 00:15:10,909 Ah. 300 00:15:13,120 --> 00:15:16,112 Do you like potatoes? 301 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,355 Yeah, very good! 302 00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,600 Nearly there! Whoa! Yeah! 303 00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:29,030 Excellent work, Macca! You reversed the hell out of that! 304 00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:30,354 Fuck! 305 00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:33,796 God, it feels good to let loose. 306 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:36,554 Did you see his face when I ordered that second pint of wine? 307 00:15:37,760 --> 00:15:39,591 We're mad, aren't we, you and me, Lottie? 308 00:15:39,640 --> 00:15:41,358 Oi, nice jeans, mate. 309 00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:44,358 Have a bit of respect, son. These are Haçienda originals. 310 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,072 You look like a 1980s snooker player. 311 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:49,120 Oh, yeah? See if you think that when I'm pilled-up on the dance floor later. 312 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:50,878 - What's that? - Eh? 313 00:15:50,920 --> 00:15:52,114 Drugs? 314 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:53,673 He hasn't got no drugs, mate. Look at him. 315 00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,790 I might have some drugs. 316 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:58,070 He hasn't got any drugs. He's about 50. 317 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,759 Yeah? Well, what are these, then? 318 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,030 - Yeah, what are they? - What? 319 00:16:03,080 --> 00:16:04,559 Ah, no, these... these are fine. 320 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,876 These are alpha-blockers. They're for a swollen prostate. 321 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,076 I haven't got a swollen prostate. 322 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:12,314 Well, you're about the right age. 323 00:16:12,360 --> 00:16:16,717 For your information, I've used that container to smuggle E's and poppers in. 324 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,433 So. And you've got a nerve, talking about my age. 325 00:16:19,480 --> 00:16:22,517 You look like Tom Cruise's dad, his fat dad. 326 00:16:22,560 --> 00:16:25,711 You look like Tom Cruise's fat dad. 327 00:16:25,760 --> 00:16:26,749 Lottie, shall we? 328 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,036 Tom Cruise! Cocktail. 329 00:16:40,080 --> 00:16:43,436 - Oh, God. Of course you're working here. - Best one yet. 330 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:47,996 I've been here two hours. No-one's batted a bloody eyelid. How's the date going? 331 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,634 Shit, thanks to you. That restaurant was rubbish. 332 00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:53,240 It must have got bad after I left. Sorry. 333 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,679 - Free cocktail? - No. 334 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:57,473 I can't have any fluids. The bouncers have got my cock pills. 335 00:16:57,520 --> 00:16:59,875 Look at me. I'm swelling up like a greedy bee. 336 00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,832 - I've got an idea. - No, no, you don't do anything. 337 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,836 Dan, trust me, yeah? 338 00:17:04,880 --> 00:17:07,792 Problem one, you want Lottie to think you're cool, right? 339 00:17:07,840 --> 00:17:09,273 Yes. 340 00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:11,117 Problem two, you haven't got a drink. 341 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,435 No! I can't have any... 342 00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:15,948 Oh, Lottie, this is my friend Jo. 343 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:19,709 Hi, Lottie. Dan's a well good laugh, isn't he? 344 00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,111 Special! Special! Special! 345 00:17:24,160 --> 00:17:25,991 Special! 346 00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:28,190 Special! Special! Special! 347 00:17:28,240 --> 00:17:30,754 Neck it! Neck it! 348 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,439 Neck it! Neck it! 349 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:39,999 Ah, guys. 350 00:17:40,040 --> 00:17:41,598 Small point, er... but I noticed 351 00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:44,438 that we left a few polystyrene curls on the road back there. 352 00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:46,914 I mean, I know, technically, they should be recycled, 353 00:17:46,960 --> 00:17:49,918 but, er... we've just got to use our common sense here, right? 354 00:17:49,960 --> 00:17:52,838 Don't want people saying we ain't making the effort to keep the place looking tidy. 355 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:54,916 Right? 356 00:17:57,120 --> 00:17:59,031 Yorkie? 357 00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,156 Mate. 358 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:07,234 All right? 359 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:10,113 Could I have those pills back? 360 00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,674 I lied. They are for my prostate. 361 00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:14,039 You hurt me. 362 00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:15,479 Sorry? 363 00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,909 - You all right there, Terry? - This is him. 364 00:18:17,960 --> 00:18:20,394 Well. You thoughtless man. 365 00:18:20,440 --> 00:18:22,829 - Tom Cruise's dad? - Fat dad. 366 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:24,393 Tom Cruise's fat dad? 367 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:26,396 I was embarrassed. 368 00:18:26,440 --> 00:18:28,556 You thought you'd take it out on me. Lovely. 369 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:30,636 It's his birthday an' all. How would you feel, 370 00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,355 being likened to a 50-year-old's obese father on your special day? 371 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:36,356 - I'm sorry. - Are you? 372 00:18:36,400 --> 00:18:38,197 Are you sorry? 373 00:18:38,240 --> 00:18:41,949 Yeah. Now, please, lads, can I have those pills? 374 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,070 I'm puffed up like Barbapapa down here. 375 00:18:44,120 --> 00:18:46,190 You'll have a birthday pint with him first. 376 00:18:46,240 --> 00:18:48,071 - What? - Make amends. 377 00:18:48,120 --> 00:18:49,348 Would be nice. 378 00:18:50,360 --> 00:18:51,998 Oh, Christ. 379 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,439 Another thing, one time, 380 00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:57,358 he blew a massive bubble-gum bubble and it all went in my hair. 381 00:18:57,400 --> 00:18:59,356 Wicked. 382 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:05,469 Bear with me. 383 00:19:06,680 --> 00:19:08,671 You all right? 384 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:10,597 Yeah, yeah. 385 00:19:10,640 --> 00:19:12,676 I hope Jo didn't say anything too weird. 386 00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,029 No. Nothing weird. 387 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,640 I'm just going to go to the toilet. 388 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,956 Hi, guys. Let's get a bit old school. 389 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,675 New DJ, new vibes. We're going back to the '80s. 390 00:19:28,200 --> 00:19:29,519 Oh, my God! 391 00:19:29,560 --> 00:19:31,790 Come on, Grandad! Let's conga! 392 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:32,829 Fuck off! 393 00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:35,075 Your hips playing up, mate? 394 00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:38,237 Do you want me to conga, Lottie? 395 00:19:38,280 --> 00:19:39,838 Well, fuck it! Let's conga, then! 396 00:19:44,480 --> 00:19:48,155 Yeah, Macca. Bit of bad news, I'm afraid. 397 00:19:48,200 --> 00:19:51,397 You're not supposed to block the air flow 398 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,352 through the front grille of the old beast here. 399 00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,198 I'm afraid old teddy will have to come off. 400 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,754 Er... yeah, guys. 401 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:03,759 Just saying to Macca, um... the bear at the front... 402 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:06,275 ...guys... 403 00:20:07,800 --> 00:20:09,199 Guys? 404 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,232 Just let... Just let me! 405 00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:24,073 Er... just let... 406 00:20:24,120 --> 00:20:25,473 Can I just... 407 00:20:27,720 --> 00:20:29,915 No! No! 408 00:20:36,480 --> 00:20:38,789 What the fuck? 409 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,275 Oh, fuck! It's happening! 410 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:47,311 No! It's happening! 411 00:20:47,360 --> 00:20:49,954 Aargh! 412 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,114 Don't be too hard on him, Lottie. He means well. 413 00:21:06,160 --> 00:21:07,639 Yes. 414 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:10,911 If Brian was here, it wouldn't happen. Brian's the sensible one. 415 00:21:20,600 --> 00:21:23,797 But it's good to have different types of friends, isn't it? 416 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:29,870 A lot of this is, um... just flush water from the urinal. It's... 417 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:33,392 Well, it's not all piss. 418 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,315 It's OK, I get it. 419 00:21:37,360 --> 00:21:38,918 What? 420 00:21:38,960 --> 00:21:41,235 Look at me. 421 00:21:41,280 --> 00:21:42,872 You're not into this, are you? 422 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:45,753 I mean, how would I know? I don't know what you're into. You never say. 423 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,155 But you're not into this. 424 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:52,949 I would tell you what I was into, but you never shut up, 425 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,956 you... 426 00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,592 silly lovely man. 427 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,598 Oh. 428 00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,629 Lottie? 429 00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:02,669 Yes, Dan? 430 00:22:04,520 --> 00:22:06,238 What are you into? 431 00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:09,238 That's it! Put them in the fucking bag! 432 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:11,794 - Aah! - Oh! Oh! 433 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:13,708 - Spin them! - What? 434 00:22:13,760 --> 00:22:14,715 Spin them! 435 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,557 - What? - Fuck, yes! 436 00:22:16,600 --> 00:22:19,114 - How much are they? Fuck! - I don't know! 437 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:21,594 How much are your fucking apples? 438 00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:24,518 - 50p a pound. - Oh! Sell them to me. 439 00:22:24,560 --> 00:22:26,551 Apples! 50p a pound! 440 00:22:26,600 --> 00:22:30,479 - Properly! - Apples! Get your apples! 441 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,953 - Yes! - Aah! 442 00:22:32,000 --> 00:22:33,991 - Oh! Fuck me! - Oh! 443 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:35,917 - Oh! - Fuck me, market boy! 444 00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:37,359 I'm trying! 445 00:22:37,400 --> 00:22:39,709 You dirty working-class bastard! 446 00:22:39,760 --> 00:22:42,035 I'm not into this! 447 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:47,314 Has she gone? 448 00:22:49,680 --> 00:22:51,113 She's gone, Nesta. 449 00:22:52,560 --> 00:22:55,120 Please. Please. 450 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,549 Leave me alone. 451 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:00,990 I knew she was no good for you, young lamb like that. 452 00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,156 You need a woman with proper hips. 453 00:23:03,200 --> 00:23:04,872 Christ! 454 00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:09,277 I think you should stick to wooing that nice Emma girl. 455 00:23:09,320 --> 00:23:11,709 She's ever so sweet. 456 00:23:11,760 --> 00:23:16,197 I mean, what do I have to do, to stop you both from coming into my flat? 457 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,629 Oh, come on, come on, come on, come on. 458 00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:21,638 Oh. Oh, well, there's one bit of good news. 459 00:23:21,680 --> 00:23:24,638 Your prostate's still working OK. 460 00:23:55,500 --> 00:24:03,500 Ripped By mstoll 34199

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.