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1
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:04,663
(Tannoy) Attention, pleasel
2
00:01:04,697 --> 00:01:10,567
This is the last and final call for passengers
traveling to Hoek van Holland.
3
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:14,571
This is the last and final call. Thank you.
4
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,375
- (Whimpers)
- Be brave, Lovejoy.
5
00:01:54,414 --> 00:01:56,405
Even the kids don't yelp these days.
6
00:01:57,884 --> 00:01:59,875
Have a little rinse.
7
00:02:08,061 --> 00:02:10,757
All right, open. Come on.
8
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:16,496
Do you know a man called Terence Sullivan
at all in your line of business?
9
00:02:16,536 --> 00:02:18,094
(Grunts)
10
00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,936
Only, he's married to my sister Maureen.
11
00:02:20,974 --> 00:02:23,943
Or he was.
All the signs are, he's no longer with us.
12
00:02:23,977 --> 00:02:27,469
He was last seen on the
Harwich-Hook ferry three weeks ago.
13
00:02:27,514 --> 00:02:30,381
- I know he got on, but not where he got off.
- (Grunts)
14
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:33,817
The thing is,
Maureen would appreciate a little help.
15
00:02:33,853 --> 00:02:36,117
- (Grunting) Help?
- Well, guidance.
16
00:02:36,156 --> 00:02:38,147
And knowing that I'd got you today...
17
00:02:38,191 --> 00:02:40,955
- (Muffled) Have the police...
- Oh, no, no, no.
18
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,828
She's had them up to the gills.
There you are, that's you done.
19
00:02:44,864 --> 00:02:47,424
I'm not the man you want, Malcolm, for this.
20
00:02:47,467 --> 00:02:48,661
- No?
- No.
21
00:02:48,701 --> 00:02:51,898
Pity. Settle up with Claudia outside, will you?
22
00:02:51,938 --> 00:02:53,929
(Groans)
23
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,099
Oh, you look dreadful!
24
00:02:57,143 --> 00:03:00,374
We thought we'd collect you, Lovejoy,
in case you were under the weather.
25
00:03:00,413 --> 00:03:03,007
Well, as long as you don't mock, Tink.
You could be next.
26
00:03:03,049 --> 00:03:08,316
Oh, not me, Lovejoy. Other parts may be
beginning to fail, but I've the teeth of the tiger.
27
00:03:08,354 --> 00:03:11,187
That'll be £96, please, Mr. Lovejoy.
28
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,849
How much?
29
00:03:15,061 --> 00:03:16,995
- Malcolm!
- Hmm?
30
00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:20,625
Give me Maureen's address. I'll trade you.
31
00:03:23,369 --> 00:03:27,703
Terence Sullivan.
Once described as the Lovejoy of King's Lynn.
32
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:29,708
I've never heard of him.
33
00:03:29,742 --> 00:03:31,767
Did he jump or was he pushed?
34
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:36,646
- Is this unfinished business we can pick up on?
- Are we vultures, Tink?
35
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:39,709
- His poor wife.
- Exactly.
36
00:03:39,752 --> 00:03:42,346
We'll do it for Maureen. All for Maureen, Beth.
37
00:03:44,290 --> 00:03:47,851
- So how did you hear about it, Maureen?
- The police came round.
38
00:03:48,661 --> 00:03:50,856
Someone on the ferry had heard a splash,
39
00:03:50,897 --> 00:03:52,990
and seen a dark object in the sea.
40
00:03:54,500 --> 00:03:57,697
Helicopters went out,
but they didn't find anything.
41
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:01,305
How did they know it was your husband?
42
00:04:01,341 --> 00:04:03,332
There was a stewardess who knew him.
43
00:04:04,143 --> 00:04:06,236
He made the trip that often,
44
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:09,840
and he was the only one of the passengers
they couldn't account for.
45
00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:12,976
- Flapjack? It's homemade.
- Yummy!
46
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:15,414
Ooh!
47
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:19,049
Who was he going to see in Holland?
48
00:04:20,393 --> 00:04:24,022
Was he...
Was he a little disturbed before he left?
49
00:04:25,131 --> 00:04:27,065
It wasn't suicide.
50
00:04:28,735 --> 00:04:31,795
He was an optimist,
even when things were against him.
51
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:35,864
Though I was never quite sure
what he was up to.
52
00:04:35,908 --> 00:04:39,344
Furniture always changing under me.
You know how it is.
53
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:41,609
Yes, we know how it is.
54
00:04:41,648 --> 00:04:43,639
Not sure there's anything here now.
55
00:04:45,551 --> 00:04:48,019
You never know what he was sitting on, do you?
56
00:04:49,155 --> 00:04:52,682
- Where did he keep his stock?
- I don't know.
57
00:04:53,693 --> 00:05:00,189
It's only since he's been gone that I've realized
what a state he was in, financially.
58
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,667
People phoning up,
59
00:05:02,702 --> 00:05:04,636
letters by every post.
60
00:05:05,938 --> 00:05:08,338
God knows how I'm ever going to answer them.
61
00:05:11,144 --> 00:05:15,547
Yes, well, we'll make a couple of calls and see
what we can come up with. You know how it is.
62
00:05:15,581 --> 00:05:19,278
Well, I'm very grateful to you both
just for coming along.
63
00:05:20,019 --> 00:05:22,544
- We'll stay in touch.
- Thanks.
64
00:05:22,588 --> 00:05:23,953
And...
65
00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:27,653
...whatever you may hear about Terence
from others,
66
00:05:27,694 --> 00:05:30,162
he was always a lovely man to me.
67
00:05:34,734 --> 00:05:36,668
(Whoops)
68
00:05:36,703 --> 00:05:39,501
Oh, do come in, Mr. Gimbert.
69
00:05:39,539 --> 00:05:41,700
It's lovely!
70
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,732
Just had my lunch.
71
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:53,518
Tink,
72
00:05:53,553 --> 00:05:56,545
letter of condolence from Charlie Gimbert.
73
00:05:56,589 --> 00:05:59,080
"Sullivan, what about my £3,000?
74
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:02,561
"Come on, you little toerag, pay up
or I'll have to get stern with you."
75
00:06:02,595 --> 00:06:04,688
Nice, eh?
76
00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,029
Sullivan. I know I've got him somewhere.
77
00:06:07,066 --> 00:06:11,503
Yes, he brought us a Queen Anne side chair.
It went for 50,000 last October.
78
00:06:11,537 --> 00:06:14,973
- Hmm. And the man himself?
- Oh, a charmer with an eye for the ladies.
79
00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:16,998
The Lovejoy of King's Lynn.
80
00:06:18,878 --> 00:06:21,745
- Nothing dodgy about him?
- Not that came to my ears.
81
00:06:21,781 --> 00:06:24,477
- He had an accident, you said?
- We're trying to help the widow.
82
00:06:24,517 --> 00:06:26,212
- Is that all?
- Yes, Kate.
83
00:06:26,252 --> 00:06:30,086
Sometimes when people are in trouble,
you have to help them.
84
00:06:31,557 --> 00:06:33,582
Lovejoy, the people's friend.
85
00:06:38,331 --> 00:06:43,268
Oh, what a refreshing way to relax
after a long, hard morning on the bench.
86
00:06:44,103 --> 00:06:48,665
Why you wish to become a magistrate,
Mr. Gimbert, I can't imagine.
87
00:06:48,708 --> 00:06:52,576
Well, Mrs. Normington, life's been good to me.
I think it's time I gave something back.
88
00:06:52,612 --> 00:06:58,448
Oh, admirable sentiments!
If only others were as public-spirited as you.
89
00:06:59,585 --> 00:07:01,849
You must come to dinner
with the judge and myself.
90
00:07:01,888 --> 00:07:04,686
Delightful. And you must come and swim again.
91
00:07:04,724 --> 00:07:06,715
Oh, yes, please.
92
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:10,524
- Thursday?
- Erm... Thursday.
93
00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:19,867
And I must ask you, you are having
the dog show this year at Felsham?
94
00:07:19,906 --> 00:07:24,240
Only I haven't seen it advertised,
and people are beginning to ask.
95
00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:28,475
- Dog show?
- On the lawn. Well, it's a tradition.
96
00:07:28,514 --> 00:07:30,778
Lord and Lady Felsham never let us down.
97
00:07:30,817 --> 00:07:32,751
It's the last week of this month.
98
00:07:32,785 --> 00:07:36,016
- Yes, of course.
- And the children's pet corner.
99
00:07:36,055 --> 00:07:38,046
And sideshows and everything!
100
00:07:38,090 --> 00:07:41,719
And the children's pet corner
and sideshows, yes.
101
00:07:41,761 --> 00:07:44,992
Good. See you Thursday, same time.
102
00:07:46,032 --> 00:07:50,025
- Might I bring a friend?
- Of course.
103
00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:51,866
Thank you.
104
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:56,231
Bye.
105
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:07,943
What do you know about a dog show
up at Felsham Hall?
106
00:08:07,987 --> 00:08:12,424
- Oh, it's an annual event.
- Lady Felsham would never have missed it.
107
00:08:12,458 --> 00:08:14,619
Oh, that means the grass'll be covered.
108
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:18,460
Doo-doo is a small price to pay
for keeping in with the doggy set.
109
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,159
Who were you talking to just now?
110
00:08:20,199 --> 00:08:23,191
Never you mind who. What have you got there?
111
00:08:25,004 --> 00:08:26,767
We're just trying to turn a penny.
112
00:08:26,806 --> 00:08:29,536
There's a Mrs. Sullivan on the phone.
113
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,839
Oh, thank you, Beth.
114
00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:37,212
Oh, and Charlie? Just keep the Rottweilers
away from Kiddies' Corner, eh?
115
00:08:37,250 --> 00:08:38,547
Kiddies?
116
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:41,547
Maureen.
117
00:08:41,587 --> 00:08:45,250
I've found something in one of his suit pockets.
118
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,275
Right, what have we got here?
119
00:09:16,422 --> 00:09:20,017
- 19th century Chinese geese?
- Export.
120
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:22,459
What are we talking about?
Two or three grand, tops?
121
00:09:22,495 --> 00:09:25,987
- Two, maybe.
- Nothing to go overboard about, Tink.
122
00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,257
Still...
123
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:35,602
Isn't it three thousand he owes Charlie Gimbert?
124
00:09:35,641 --> 00:09:38,303
Gimbert is not going to get
a penny of this, Tink.
125
00:09:39,545 --> 00:09:42,844
Not a penny. All for the widow.
126
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:45,510
All for the widow.
127
00:09:45,551 --> 00:09:50,488
White bodies, brown feet, beaks,
moulded plumage. A pair.
128
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,848
Yeah, identical.
129
00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:56,858
Well, I don't know, Martin.
What would you say?
130
00:09:56,896 --> 00:09:58,887
(Approaching footsteps)
131
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,624
You would, eh?
132
00:10:03,803 --> 00:10:06,397
Thank you, Martin. I may get back to you.
133
00:10:09,508 --> 00:10:12,841
Christie's have confirmed our price,
three grand, tops,
134
00:10:12,878 --> 00:10:15,972
but that was Martin of Macclesfield
offering me four.
135
00:10:16,015 --> 00:10:19,917
- Sight unseen?
- Hmm. What does he know that we don't?
136
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,510
He knows a buyer.
137
00:10:21,554 --> 00:10:25,115
Same one that Sullivan was going to meet
in Holland when he slipped on a wet deck?
138
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,749
Summat's up, Tink.
139
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:31,354
If you want to use my telephone, Lovejoy,
why don't you wait until I've gone to lunch?
140
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:33,592
I always like to pay my debts.
141
00:10:34,700 --> 00:10:37,726
- Speaking of lunch...
- Spoken for. Sorry.
142
00:10:37,770 --> 00:10:40,204
Elspeth of Hungerford knows geese.
143
00:10:41,240 --> 00:10:45,836
This isn't in the normal line of business.
Lovejoy's trying to help a widow in need.
144
00:10:49,382 --> 00:10:52,545
Hello? May I speak to Elspeth, please?
145
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:54,550
That's another 50p.
146
00:10:54,587 --> 00:10:57,954
(Tinker) Oh, I'm sorry. When?
147
00:10:57,990 --> 00:11:00,015
Well, I'm sorry to have troubled you.
148
00:11:02,094 --> 00:11:04,619
So, what have we got?
149
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:08,532
We've got a pair of geese, not that special,
but somebody loves them.
150
00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:11,536
Their owner may be in hock to Charlie Gimbert,
151
00:11:11,570 --> 00:11:14,630
goes to Holland to try to make a deal. Maybe.
152
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:17,472
Falls overboard. Another red herring?
153
00:11:18,411 --> 00:11:19,935
Something's fishy.
154
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:23,143
Just like this.
155
00:11:24,183 --> 00:11:26,083
(Coughing)
156
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:30,316
I don't know, time was when cigar smoke
used to have the ladies drooling.
157
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:32,551
I don't know what the world's coming to.
158
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:37,256
So, about this dog show.
159
00:11:37,296 --> 00:11:42,563
Well, seems like we're stuck with it,
but my idea is to have an event in the evening.
160
00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:48,699
Black tie, invited guests. Dealers, collectors.
Animal theme.
161
00:11:48,741 --> 00:11:50,971
A percentage to Wildlife Action.
162
00:11:51,010 --> 00:11:52,978
Oh, but that's lovely!
163
00:11:53,012 --> 00:11:58,279
I thought so. And you, my dear,
would be my perfect organizer and hostess.
164
00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:01,377
- Me?
- Oh, the glamor to front the action.
165
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,520
With me being just a solitary bachelor.
166
00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:12,887
"The Cavendish House invites you
to a gala evening at Felsham Hall."
167
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:14,923
You've got it.
168
00:12:17,403 --> 00:12:19,200
Thank you for a lovely lunch, Charlie.
169
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:23,942
Charlie Gimbert, Justice of the Peace?
170
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:27,571
Imagine coming up in front of him
in the morning with a hangover.
171
00:12:27,613 --> 00:12:29,740
Never mind that. I said you would help.
172
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,579
- You too, Tinker.
- Thank you.
173
00:12:31,617 --> 00:12:34,518
- And Beth, would you do a leaflet for us?
- Yeah, easy.
174
00:12:34,553 --> 00:12:38,580
Charlotte, these charities are not always
what they seem to be. You should know that.
175
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:41,286
It's not a charity, it's a sale.
176
00:12:41,327 --> 00:12:43,955
Business.
177
00:12:43,996 --> 00:12:46,556
Oh, come on, we can have some fun together.
178
00:12:46,599 --> 00:12:49,500
- Fun.
- Yeah. What's wrong with it?
179
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:52,562
Tinker, why am I being pushed into this?
180
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,664
Oh, we could stick the geese in it.
181
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:57,870
Beth, tell me about these geese.
182
00:12:57,910 --> 00:13:02,074
- Oh, they're lovely. Chinese porcelain, export...
- Beth!
183
00:13:02,114 --> 00:13:05,174
Beth, excuse me.
First thing you learn in this business, shtoom!
184
00:13:05,217 --> 00:13:07,981
Well, not with Charlotte. She's one of us.
185
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,014
Well, aren't I?
186
00:13:11,056 --> 00:13:13,388
Anyway, they sound just the thing.
187
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:16,883
- Animals, wildlife.
- These are domestic geese.
188
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:19,056
Excuse me.
189
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,894
He's a little sensitive today.
190
00:13:26,639 --> 00:13:28,436
What about?
191
00:13:28,474 --> 00:13:31,602
Gather round and I'll tell you a charming story.
192
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:34,442
Tink? Beth? Work to do.
193
00:13:38,384 --> 00:13:41,148
What is so special about 'em?
194
00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:46,022
- They're cracked, look.
- It's not about value, Beth.
195
00:13:47,193 --> 00:13:49,525
It's about someone who wants them.
196
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:53,658
But why?
197
00:13:54,333 --> 00:13:57,496
Maybe two people who want them equally.
198
00:13:58,404 --> 00:14:01,168
(Lovejoy) Rival obsessives.
199
00:14:01,207 --> 00:14:06,304
If we can find two such people,
pit them together, what sport, what profit!
200
00:14:06,345 --> 00:14:09,337
You know,
Sullivan could have been onto this, right?
201
00:14:09,381 --> 00:14:12,908
- Someone in this country...
...known to Martin in Macclesfield.
202
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:16,183
And someone in Holland
who Sullivan was setting up.
203
00:14:16,222 --> 00:14:19,419
- It could have cost him his life.
- They murder for it?
204
00:14:20,726 --> 00:14:23,661
- De Hont.
- De Hont?
205
00:14:23,696 --> 00:14:27,223
- Yeah, De Hont, the fella we met last year.
- What, that bloke from Brussels? No.
206
00:14:27,266 --> 00:14:30,201
- He was into birds. Geese. Birds of all kinds.
- No. Buffalo.
207
00:14:30,236 --> 00:14:32,761
- And birds.
- No, it wasn't. It was buffalo.
208
00:14:32,805 --> 00:14:35,000
Cloisonné enameled buffalo.
209
00:14:35,040 --> 00:14:38,100
- No. And birds. I think you'll find I'm right.
- You'll find you're wrong.
210
00:14:38,143 --> 00:14:40,168
- I know I'm right.
- No, I know you're wrong.
211
00:14:40,212 --> 00:14:42,373
- I'll bet you a fiver.
- You haven't got a fiver.
212
00:14:42,414 --> 00:14:44,678
I will have when I win this bet.
213
00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:46,708
I'm on my 50th length.
214
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,418
That's Mrs. Normington, the judge's wife.
215
00:14:50,456 --> 00:14:53,254
That's Mrs. Pelham, the chief constable's wife.
216
00:14:53,959 --> 00:14:56,154
Don't know the other two though, Charlie.
217
00:14:56,195 --> 00:15:00,996
Whomever, they seem to have started
a swimming club in my pool, twice weekly.
218
00:15:01,033 --> 00:15:03,160
Well, you know what they say.
Give 'em an inch.
219
00:15:03,202 --> 00:15:06,501
I'm just honored
to be part of the Wildlife committee.
220
00:15:07,106 --> 00:15:09,097
Is it nice and warm, ladies?
221
00:15:09,141 --> 00:15:11,132
Oh, yes!
222
00:15:12,811 --> 00:15:14,301
Do you know a dealer called Sullivan, Charlie?
223
00:15:14,346 --> 00:15:18,942
- Terence Sullivan.
- Sullivan? He owes me. What's he up to?
224
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:20,815
He slipped off the side of a ship.
225
00:15:22,087 --> 00:15:25,079
- More than likely.
- To avoid creditors, some people say.
226
00:15:25,124 --> 00:15:28,787
- Natty line in wigs, Sullivan.
- Didn't push him, did you, Charlie?
227
00:15:30,129 --> 00:15:33,895
Not worth the bother. Piddling amount.
Write it off to tax.
228
00:15:34,733 --> 00:15:36,826
Why are you asking me all this, Lovejoy?
229
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:38,803
Well, the widow was a bit distressed.
230
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:41,533
Thought you might have put pressure on him.
The balance of his mind?
231
00:15:41,573 --> 00:15:45,407
She said that?
I never even met the bloody woman.
232
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:48,311
Don't worry about it.
233
00:15:49,281 --> 00:15:52,614
- Bye, ladies.
- (All) Bye!
234
00:15:52,651 --> 00:15:54,050
Goodbye, Mr. Lovejoy.
235
00:15:54,086 --> 00:15:56,077
(Rings)
236
00:16:00,025 --> 00:16:02,585
Lovejoy Antiques. How may I...
237
00:16:03,429 --> 00:16:04,953
Oh.
238
00:16:04,997 --> 00:16:07,056
It's your dentist.
239
00:16:07,099 --> 00:16:09,260
Malcolm. Hello.
240
00:16:09,301 --> 00:16:12,532
Yeah? What? When?
241
00:16:12,571 --> 00:16:14,801
I'll be right over. Yep.
242
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,899
Loose filling. Back later.
243
00:16:29,655 --> 00:16:34,615
- Kate, what do you make of Lovejoy?
- (Chuckles)
244
00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:37,652
- Something funny?
- You want a character reference?
245
00:16:37,696 --> 00:16:40,563
No, I want to know what you think.
246
00:16:40,599 --> 00:16:43,591
Is he a good bet, you mean? For you.
247
00:16:44,670 --> 00:16:46,661
Well...
248
00:16:48,707 --> 00:16:50,072
...yes.
249
00:16:50,109 --> 00:16:52,703
Lovejoy is erm... unique.
250
00:16:52,745 --> 00:16:55,339
- What does that mean?
- Whatever you want it to mean.
251
00:16:55,381 --> 00:16:57,815
Look, that's not good enough.
I want hard facts.
252
00:16:57,850 --> 00:17:01,650
I want to know... Is he honorable, for instance?
253
00:17:01,687 --> 00:17:05,214
Oh, dear, what a funny word.
For Lovejoy.
254
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:07,248
Well, I thought I'd got his number,
255
00:17:07,292 --> 00:17:11,786
but Tink's been telling me
about a widow he's been helping.
256
00:17:11,830 --> 00:17:14,390
Well, he makes him sound like a saint.
257
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:17,197
Well, Tinker's his friend.
258
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:21,036
Personally speaking,
Lovejoy is one of the sweetest people I know.
259
00:17:23,242 --> 00:17:27,611
What more do you want?
Don't listen to me, get on with it.
260
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,780
(Whispers) Sweet?
261
00:17:33,719 --> 00:17:37,211
- Note from a dead man this morning.
- Who delivered it?
262
00:17:37,256 --> 00:17:40,657
I don't know.
Claudia said she was young and blonde.
263
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:43,525
She's coming back at seven o'clock for some key
264
00:17:43,562 --> 00:17:46,360
that I'm supposed to get off Maureen
without her knowing. Bloody cheek.
265
00:17:46,398 --> 00:17:48,730
- Is this Sullivan's handwriting?
- How would I know?
266
00:17:48,767 --> 00:17:51,793
Can't really ask Maureen, can I? Hornets' nest.
267
00:17:51,837 --> 00:17:54,738
- Give it to her.
- Where did you get that?
268
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:59,344
- I won't ask. Teeth all right?
- Like a tiger's.
269
00:18:05,517 --> 00:18:07,985
Surgery. Yeah, he is.
270
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,045
- Lovejoy?
- Yeah.
271
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:12,387
- It's for you.
- Ta.
272
00:18:12,424 --> 00:18:17,452
- Yeah?
- There's an invitation to supper, Lovejoy.
273
00:18:17,496 --> 00:18:22,092
From Miss Cavendish,
to discuss Charlie's gala evening.
274
00:18:22,134 --> 00:18:24,694
- I'm working, Tink.
- I offered to go in your place,
275
00:18:24,736 --> 00:18:28,900
a suggestion she received rather harshly,
I thought. You're half an hour late already.
276
00:18:28,941 --> 00:18:31,307
- Business before pleasure.
- What business?
277
00:18:31,343 --> 00:18:32,742
(Doorbell buzzes)
278
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:34,211
She's early.
279
00:18:34,746 --> 00:18:35,735
Thanks.
280
00:18:35,781 --> 00:18:37,772
Have you got another way out of here?
281
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,384
- What do I say to her?
- (Doorbell buzzes)
282
00:18:41,420 --> 00:18:44,753
Just give her the key.
There's no way she can use it tonight.
283
00:18:51,830 --> 00:18:53,821
(Thunder)
284
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:14,180
- Get lost, did we?
- Dentist.
285
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:17,780
And erm...
Could I have a little warning next time?
286
00:19:17,823 --> 00:19:21,725
Now, I expect you'll want
to get out of those nasty, wet things.
287
00:19:22,861 --> 00:19:27,992
Towel and dressing gown,
upstairs, first on the left.
288
00:19:35,474 --> 00:19:37,066
Oh, yes!
289
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:41,210
This is very...
290
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:46,274
If you would have got here earlier,
you'd have seen a rainbow over my lake.
291
00:19:46,318 --> 00:19:48,081
A rainbow?
292
00:19:49,121 --> 00:19:52,113
Actually, it's at its best in the early morning.
293
00:19:53,892 --> 00:19:55,883
More wine?
294
00:20:07,906 --> 00:20:09,840
There, now.
295
00:20:09,875 --> 00:20:12,639
- Hmm.
- That's nice.
296
00:20:21,954 --> 00:20:23,717
Supper won't be long.
297
00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:26,548
I had to turn it off.
298
00:20:27,793 --> 00:20:30,261
Sorry about that. I'm starving.
299
00:20:31,730 --> 00:20:37,327
- So, tell me about this man.
- What man?
300
00:20:37,369 --> 00:20:42,102
The one who fell off a ferry
and all he left was a pair of geese.
301
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:48,170
I'm just trying to sell them to help his widow
pay off his debts. Don't know anyone, do you?
302
00:20:48,213 --> 00:20:50,977
- Into geese?
- Mmm.
303
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:55,244
No. Sorry.
304
00:20:56,788 --> 00:21:01,248
But what you're saying does confirm things
I've been hearing about you lately.
305
00:21:02,027 --> 00:21:03,153
What's that?
306
00:21:03,195 --> 00:21:05,186
That you've got a big heart.
307
00:21:06,265 --> 00:21:09,598
Kind to animals,
308
00:21:09,635 --> 00:21:12,866
widows, orphans.
309
00:21:14,606 --> 00:21:18,736
- A sweet man.
- Sweet?
310
00:21:20,612 --> 00:21:23,240
Sweet. Who said that?
311
00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:27,450
Girls don't divulge their sources.
312
00:21:42,768 --> 00:21:44,599
You know, Lovejoy,
313
00:21:44,636 --> 00:21:47,196
we may as well be honest with each other.
314
00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:51,638
When I first got back here,
315
00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,239
you didn't make
a very good impression on me.
316
00:21:56,281 --> 00:21:58,442
What did I do, Charlotte?
317
00:21:58,483 --> 00:22:01,646
Well, it wasn't so much what you did,
318
00:22:03,221 --> 00:22:05,815
as what people said you were likely to do.
319
00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:10,489
I was warned off you,
which is why you may have found me a little...
320
00:22:10,529 --> 00:22:14,556
- Aggressive.
- No, defensive.
321
00:22:16,702 --> 00:22:18,693
What's this?
322
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:23,932
- Ratatouille.
- Oh.
323
00:22:35,687 --> 00:22:37,678
- You know...
- What?
324
00:22:37,723 --> 00:22:41,716
- I think I've been...
- Missing something?
325
00:22:49,935 --> 00:22:51,800
Definitely.
326
00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:55,963
It takes time.
327
00:23:11,156 --> 00:23:12,623
You have lovely eyes.
328
00:23:13,959 --> 00:23:16,427
Well, so have you, Charlotte.
329
00:23:17,662 --> 00:23:19,687
So have you.
330
00:23:20,399 --> 00:23:22,026
Skip the chops.
331
00:23:24,269 --> 00:23:26,260
Famished, you said.
332
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:39,209
- Lovejoy?
- Yeah?
333
00:23:43,355 --> 00:23:45,346
Come with me.
334
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,210
Question.
335
00:24:17,255 --> 00:24:22,056
In the height of passion,
did you call her Lottie or Charlie?
336
00:24:22,928 --> 00:24:25,260
- Next question.
- Oh, come on, Lovejoy.
337
00:24:25,297 --> 00:24:28,892
I know you spent the night with her.
You're wearing the same T-shirt.
338
00:24:28,934 --> 00:24:31,198
I always wear the same T-shirt.
339
00:24:31,236 --> 00:24:35,263
She's never shown
the slightest interest in you before.
340
00:24:35,307 --> 00:24:37,798
So what stroke did you pull?
341
00:24:39,010 --> 00:24:41,342
As your oldest friend and confidant,
I've a right to know.
342
00:24:41,379 --> 00:24:44,507
Tinker, I thought you were a gentleman.
343
00:24:44,549 --> 00:24:48,144
Girls don't divulge their secrets,
and neither should chaps.
344
00:24:49,521 --> 00:24:53,184
There he was, like a drowned rat,
345
00:24:53,225 --> 00:24:54,954
late, of course,
346
00:24:54,993 --> 00:24:58,895
with these flowers, wilting.
347
00:24:58,930 --> 00:25:00,420
Wilting?
348
00:25:03,168 --> 00:25:07,730
- Definitely wilting.
- And did he enjoy the chops?
349
00:25:09,341 --> 00:25:11,332
What chops?
350
00:25:23,355 --> 00:25:24,652
Here she comes.
351
00:25:25,557 --> 00:25:28,219
If I'm reading this correctly, Lovejoy,
352
00:25:28,260 --> 00:25:33,288
the man who threw Sullivan overboard
is now pretending to be him.
353
00:25:38,370 --> 00:25:42,397
What if he's homicidal?
Do you want to get mixed up with a murderer?
354
00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:44,431
Now that you've fallen in love.
355
00:26:09,534 --> 00:26:12,731
Right, Tink, this is where we score,
if it's who I think it is.
356
00:26:12,771 --> 00:26:15,069
Well, if it's De Hont, he's into buffalo.
357
00:26:15,106 --> 00:26:16,539
- Geese.
- Buffalo.
358
00:26:16,575 --> 00:26:17,564
Geese.
359
00:26:17,609 --> 00:26:18,633
- Buffalo.
- Geese!
360
00:26:22,180 --> 00:26:23,613
- Geese!
- Buffalo.
361
00:26:23,648 --> 00:26:26,481
- Geese!
- Buffalo, buffalo, buffalo!
362
00:26:34,059 --> 00:26:37,961
- That man's wearing a rug, isn't he?
- Natty line in wigs, Sullivan.
363
00:26:37,996 --> 00:26:41,796
- It's the man himself.
- Obvious assumption from the start.
364
00:26:41,833 --> 00:26:43,824
Yeah, wait here, Tink.
365
00:26:45,136 --> 00:26:47,127
(Knock at door)
366
00:26:50,175 --> 00:26:53,201
- Who the hell are you?
- Lovejoy, Mr. Sullivan.
367
00:26:53,244 --> 00:26:56,213
- Who is it?
- Erm... Room service.
368
00:26:56,247 --> 00:26:59,705
- Champagne?
- No, he's come to fix the central heating.
369
00:26:59,751 --> 00:27:02,345
You take as long as you like in there.
370
00:27:02,387 --> 00:27:06,517
Lovejoy. Divvy Lovejoy.
So it was you Maureen put onto me?
371
00:27:06,558 --> 00:27:10,153
Smart girl, my wife. What have you done
with the geese? Sold 'em already?
372
00:27:10,195 --> 00:27:13,494
- Not so fast, Terence.
- You're obviously acquainted with the facts.
373
00:27:13,531 --> 00:27:16,762
I don't want to insult you
by hiding anything. Huh?
374
00:27:16,801 --> 00:27:20,293
I did what I had to do
because somebody was after me.
375
00:27:20,338 --> 00:27:22,363
And you rode to shore on the back of a dolphin?
376
00:27:22,407 --> 00:27:24,671
- Your wife thinks you're dead.
- I know.
377
00:27:24,709 --> 00:27:27,701
- She's grieving for you.
- Well, she'll get over it.
378
00:27:27,746 --> 00:27:29,145
- Don't under-estimate it.
- What?
379
00:27:29,180 --> 00:27:33,378
- Your magic touch with the ladies.
- Well, nothing we can do about that, is there?
380
00:27:35,020 --> 00:27:39,047
You dumped on your wife. You owe money
to everybody, including Charlie Gimbert.
381
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,150
- Was it him you were running away from?
- Charlie? No, not Charlie.
382
00:27:42,193 --> 00:27:44,753
- They sent the boys round.
- What did they do to her?
383
00:27:44,796 --> 00:27:50,826
Nothing, but she's frightened. I think she
deserves a little respect, a little dignity.
384
00:27:50,869 --> 00:27:52,860
Don't you?
385
00:27:53,705 --> 00:27:55,696
OK.
386
00:27:57,175 --> 00:27:59,166
So, what's the deal?
387
00:28:02,614 --> 00:28:04,878
It's very simple.
388
00:28:04,916 --> 00:28:06,884
The deal is this.
389
00:28:06,918 --> 00:28:11,412
I sell the geese, I take care of Maureen
and Gimbert, and you disappear again.
390
00:28:11,456 --> 00:28:15,449
- Are you having a thing with my wife?
- Don't be ridiculous. This is compassion.
391
00:28:15,493 --> 00:28:19,020
- Look, if you sell the geese, I've got nothing.
- Between you and the deep blue sea?
392
00:28:19,064 --> 00:28:23,000
- You know what it's like in this business.
- Indeed, I do. What about the stewardess?
393
00:28:23,034 --> 00:28:25,969
Look, I was always
going to come clean with Maureen.
394
00:28:26,004 --> 00:28:29,496
You can tell her you found me.
Tell her I'm all right and tell her not to worry.
395
00:28:29,541 --> 00:28:32,806
- Tell her yourself.
- Look, they're my geese.
396
00:28:32,844 --> 00:28:36,280
- They're my damn geese you're thieving.
- Gimbert was right. You are a toerag.
397
00:28:36,314 --> 00:28:38,942
You have no class. No class whatsoever.
398
00:28:38,983 --> 00:28:41,747
It's all right, madam, the heating's fine now.
Have a nice day.
399
00:28:41,786 --> 00:28:44,880
(Sullivan) Will you get yourself dry...
dressed? Now.
400
00:28:46,357 --> 00:28:49,849
Look, listen, Lovejoy.
You've got the geese, fair game.
401
00:28:49,894 --> 00:28:51,885
But have you got anyone who wants to buy 'em?
402
00:28:51,930 --> 00:28:55,229
I've got a geezer in Brussels who's willing
to pay a price you wouldn't even dream of.
403
00:28:55,266 --> 00:28:58,258
Now, here's the deal.
We split the commission 50/50.
404
00:28:58,303 --> 00:29:00,601
Get the geese to me,
a couple of days, I've got it sewn up.
405
00:29:00,638 --> 00:29:02,833
- De Hont.
- What?
406
00:29:03,808 --> 00:29:06,504
- De Hont.
- What are you saying "De Hont" for?
407
00:29:08,379 --> 00:29:10,745
De Hont. I'll be in touch.
408
00:29:13,051 --> 00:29:14,211
De Hont?
409
00:29:16,554 --> 00:29:18,545
You owe me a fiver.
410
00:29:19,958 --> 00:29:22,256
Beth, has Mrs. Sullivan called about...
411
00:29:22,293 --> 00:29:25,023
- Hello, Charlie.
- Lovejoy!
412
00:29:25,063 --> 00:29:28,464
Just spoken to Charlotte. She was very bobbish.
413
00:29:28,500 --> 00:29:31,799
Tells me
that you had a committee meeting last night.
414
00:29:31,836 --> 00:29:35,203
Discussing the invites.
All going swimmingly, I gather.
415
00:29:36,941 --> 00:29:40,672
And young Beth here...
I love her leaflet, by the way...
416
00:29:40,712 --> 00:29:44,705
...was telling me that the geese are the property
of... Who did you say it was, Beth?
417
00:29:45,784 --> 00:29:48,150
- Mrs. Sullivan.
- A Mrs. Sullivan.
418
00:29:49,053 --> 00:29:52,648
And I understand that you're erm...
Iooking to sell privately.
419
00:29:53,458 --> 00:29:57,053
Makes absolute sense,
and I know just the man.
420
00:29:59,731 --> 00:30:02,723
A reclusive millionaire by the name of Tapie.
421
00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:06,294
Arnold Tapie.
Pay anything for a goose, would Tapie.
422
00:30:06,337 --> 00:30:10,137
Lives near Hatfield.
I believe he's expecting you.
423
00:30:12,844 --> 00:30:15,176
- Thank you, Charlie.
- It weren't my fault, cos...
424
00:30:15,213 --> 00:30:18,512
No, it's all right, Beth. You did well.
425
00:30:23,621 --> 00:30:26,647
- Can you get me a sack?
- Oh...
426
00:30:28,693 --> 00:30:34,154
Lovejoy, if this fellow Tapie
wins our obsessive contest,
427
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:40,963
Charlie gets the commission, he also gets
the money Sullivan owes him from the sale.
428
00:30:41,005 --> 00:30:43,064
Can't have that, can we?
429
00:30:43,107 --> 00:30:45,632
And on a legal point,
who actually owns the geese?
430
00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:49,943
Is it the widow Maureen,
the deceased and now revived Sullivan,
431
00:30:49,981 --> 00:30:52,347
or the creditor Gimbert?
432
00:30:52,383 --> 00:30:56,319
Well, they say possession
is nine tenths of the law, don't they, Tink?
433
00:30:57,422 --> 00:30:59,447
And who has possession?
434
00:31:10,134 --> 00:31:11,999
Where'd you get that?
435
00:31:12,036 --> 00:31:14,027
Borrowed it from a friend.
436
00:31:15,707 --> 00:31:17,698
(Phone rings)
437
00:31:18,877 --> 00:31:20,970
- Hello?
- Hello.
438
00:31:21,012 --> 00:31:22,775
Good morning.
439
00:31:22,814 --> 00:31:24,577
How are you this beautiful day?
440
00:31:24,616 --> 00:31:26,607
Ooh!
441
00:31:27,852 --> 00:31:31,049
- Never better.
- What about tonight?
442
00:31:31,089 --> 00:31:33,387
- Maybe this would be a good time...
- (Line crackles)
443
00:31:33,424 --> 00:31:35,415
(Crackling and fractured voice)
444
00:31:36,995 --> 00:31:39,225
(Dialing tone)
445
00:31:39,797 --> 00:31:42,163
Round at eight o'clock.
446
00:31:42,200 --> 00:31:44,191
Yeah.
447
00:31:51,609 --> 00:31:53,941
Mr. Hont, it's Terence.
448
00:31:53,978 --> 00:31:58,347
Yeah. Yes, I tried to contact you last week,
but your assistant...
449
00:31:59,217 --> 00:32:01,947
You do? Good, good.
450
00:32:01,986 --> 00:32:03,977
This evening, six o'clock.
451
00:32:04,956 --> 00:32:09,393
- Walloon Strasse...
- (Tannoy announcement in Dutch)
452
00:32:12,597 --> 00:32:15,361
Walloon Strasse 73, yeah.
453
00:32:19,637 --> 00:32:21,628
(Horn toots)
454
00:32:57,942 --> 00:33:02,072
Wow! What a weird place!
455
00:33:03,147 --> 00:33:05,547
Why geese?
456
00:33:05,583 --> 00:33:08,677
Not because Mother Goose
was my first pantomime.
457
00:33:09,587 --> 00:33:12,317
Nor because I believe
I was a goose in a former life.
458
00:33:14,092 --> 00:33:16,788
But think on this, my friends.
459
00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:23,666
A maligned creature, which yet plays such
an important part in our language, our culture.
460
00:33:24,869 --> 00:33:27,030
Goose pimples, goose fair, goose bumps,
461
00:33:27,538 --> 00:33:29,096
cooking your goose...
462
00:33:29,140 --> 00:33:32,303
- Goosing your cook.
...and so on and so forth.
463
00:33:33,811 --> 00:33:38,839
You er... have something for me, Mr. Lovejoy.
464
00:33:44,856 --> 00:33:46,824
Oh!
465
00:33:46,858 --> 00:33:49,326
(Hisses like a goose) Oh!
466
00:33:49,360 --> 00:33:51,624
- One of a pair.
- From the Meyer Collection.
467
00:33:51,662 --> 00:33:53,653
Stockholm.
468
00:33:54,499 --> 00:33:57,434
As you say,
from the Meyer Collection in Stockholm.
469
00:33:58,269 --> 00:34:00,669
There's no such thing, Mr. Lovejoy.
470
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,503
I just invented it.
471
00:34:03,541 --> 00:34:06,009
No, you didn't.
472
00:34:07,979 --> 00:34:09,970
No, I didn't.
473
00:34:11,149 --> 00:34:12,741
Just testing.
474
00:34:14,318 --> 00:34:16,309
How did you come by it?
475
00:34:17,288 --> 00:34:20,951
A dead colleague.
Doing our best for his widow.
476
00:34:20,992 --> 00:34:24,018
(Stuttering) You have its partner, of course?
477
00:34:24,062 --> 00:34:26,223
Safe and sound, Mr. Tapie.
478
00:34:27,065 --> 00:34:29,056
Yes...
479
00:34:29,700 --> 00:34:31,964
Erm... (Clears throat)
480
00:34:32,003 --> 00:34:36,235
- What price are you seeking?
- How much are you offering?
481
00:34:36,274 --> 00:34:40,438
- Three thousand.
- The older the goose, the harder to pluck.
482
00:34:40,478 --> 00:34:42,207
From the Meyer Collection in Stockholm?
483
00:34:42,246 --> 00:34:46,683
- Someone on the Continent's offered us six.
- (Hisses) De Hont!
484
00:34:49,821 --> 00:34:53,917
I shall pay five. Take it or leave it.
485
00:34:55,760 --> 00:34:59,628
Thank you. We'll leave it.
486
00:35:01,999 --> 00:35:04,365
I love the creatures!
487
00:35:04,402 --> 00:35:08,099
I... must have them about me.
488
00:35:10,341 --> 00:35:12,332
When the Gauls invaded Rome,
489
00:35:13,811 --> 00:35:18,305
a single file of soldiers clambered up the hill
to the Capitol so silently
490
00:35:19,750 --> 00:35:23,618
that the first man reached the top
without being challenged. But...
491
00:35:25,490 --> 00:35:31,759
But a gaggle of sacred geese did hear them,
492
00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:35,232
and cackled so loudly
they woke the entire garrison.
493
00:35:36,067 --> 00:35:40,003
Marcus Manlius dashed to the wall
and hurled a man into the precipice.
494
00:35:42,907 --> 00:35:46,570
To commemorate this saving of the Empire,
495
00:35:48,779 --> 00:35:55,685
the Romans carried a golden goose
in triumphal procession every year.
496
00:35:59,624 --> 00:36:04,357
I have written a book,
Geese And Their Place In History.
497
00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:09,297
Do you...
You don't know any publishers, do you?
498
00:36:09,333 --> 00:36:11,824
Erm... No, I don't.
499
00:36:13,404 --> 00:36:15,099
I...
500
00:36:16,874 --> 00:36:19,843
I erm... hope you can make it.
501
00:36:31,889 --> 00:36:34,289
What would you do with your new best friend?
502
00:36:35,226 --> 00:36:37,217
Hello!
503
00:36:42,767 --> 00:36:44,758
Hello?
504
00:36:52,009 --> 00:36:54,375
Stood up? Already?
505
00:36:58,149 --> 00:37:00,140
Mmm.
506
00:37:12,196 --> 00:37:14,528
She's in with Charlie.
507
00:37:24,675 --> 00:37:25,937
Lovejoy!
508
00:37:27,011 --> 00:37:29,309
Come and join us.
509
00:37:29,347 --> 00:37:32,908
Erm... Don't we have a date?
510
00:37:32,950 --> 00:37:35,111
Date? What date?
511
00:37:35,152 --> 00:37:37,017
Now.
512
00:37:37,054 --> 00:37:38,453
- Now?
- Mmm.
513
00:37:38,489 --> 00:37:41,981
What date?
Charlie and I were just talking about the gala.
514
00:37:42,927 --> 00:37:44,895
Just cooling off, Lovejoy.
515
00:37:48,299 --> 00:37:51,530
- I phoned you, hmm?
- Oh, yes, you did.
516
00:37:51,569 --> 00:37:54,265
You went dead on me.
Did you go into a tunnel or something?
517
00:37:56,641 --> 00:37:58,040
Well, can we go? Now?
518
00:37:59,744 --> 00:38:03,510
Charlie's cooking me a Spanish omelet.
519
00:38:03,547 --> 00:38:07,711
- Yes, why don't you join us?
- Yeah, thanks, Charlie.
520
00:38:07,752 --> 00:38:11,244
- How about tomorrow, then?
- Hmm, busy tomorrow.
521
00:38:11,289 --> 00:38:13,814
Then it's the weekend, dog show, gala.
522
00:38:13,858 --> 00:38:15,849
Ah, the simple pleasures of life!
523
00:38:17,395 --> 00:38:21,798
- Huh!
- Oh, don't get heavy on me, Lovejoy.
524
00:38:21,832 --> 00:38:24,665
- Me? Heavy?
- Yes.
525
00:38:24,702 --> 00:38:28,604
Yeah, I mean, one of the things
that attracted me to you was your sense of fun.
526
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:31,472
- Oh, fun.
- Yes.
527
00:38:31,509 --> 00:38:33,477
Can't we just have fun?
528
00:38:33,511 --> 00:38:36,605
- Just fun, hmm?
- Yeah.
529
00:38:36,647 --> 00:38:38,877
Nothing more. Nothing more?
530
00:38:40,017 --> 00:38:41,678
- Just... Just fun?
- Fun.
531
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:43,710
Waah!
532
00:39:10,214 --> 00:39:12,205
Hello.
533
00:39:24,562 --> 00:39:28,225
Charlie? If you could transform
all this canine flesh
534
00:39:28,265 --> 00:39:32,224
into carvings, bronzes
and paintings by the old masters,
535
00:39:32,269 --> 00:39:34,260
you'd have a fortune at your fingertips.
536
00:39:34,305 --> 00:39:36,296
Fortune?
537
00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:40,904
Recycling resources.
538
00:39:40,945 --> 00:39:44,210
And Charlie, don't leave this lying around.
539
00:39:44,248 --> 00:39:46,239
Somebody might use it.
540
00:39:55,092 --> 00:39:58,858
- I'm sorry your geese aren't a part of this.
- What do you want with my geese?
541
00:39:58,896 --> 00:40:02,764
They'd help the evening. And your widow.
You might miss the golden egg.
542
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,199
- Lovejoy.
- Just a second, Tink.
543
00:40:04,235 --> 00:40:06,226
Listen, the problem is Charlie.
544
00:40:06,270 --> 00:40:10,104
The widow Maureen's late husband
owed Charlie, right?
545
00:40:10,141 --> 00:40:13,440
And if we sell the geese here tonight,
Charlie cops the lot.
546
00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:16,969
So? Threaten him with Mrs. Normington.
547
00:40:17,715 --> 00:40:20,343
- That's a bit below the belt.
- I don't know about that.
548
00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:26,283
Tink? I think she's just joined the club.
549
00:40:26,323 --> 00:40:29,520
Lovejoy, I think somebody else
has just joined the club.
550
00:40:31,195 --> 00:40:33,527
What's he doing here?
551
00:40:38,302 --> 00:40:41,169
I found out her name is Liedje.
552
00:40:41,205 --> 00:40:42,934
Liedje?
553
00:40:44,141 --> 00:40:46,609
Aha, the walking dead!
554
00:40:46,644 --> 00:40:49,772
No jokes, Lovejoy.
I bring good news for both of us.
555
00:40:49,814 --> 00:40:53,113
Good. Well, spit it out,
I've got to judge the poodles in five minutes.
556
00:40:53,150 --> 00:40:55,084
- Hello, Liedje.
- Hello, Lovejoy.
557
00:40:56,387 --> 00:40:59,914
De Hont is mine. I've a letter here to prove it.
558
00:41:01,091 --> 00:41:03,321
He'll want to see them before he commits.
559
00:41:03,360 --> 00:41:05,954
- Hmm, what's the price?
- Nine grand. How about that?
560
00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:09,397
- I know a man who'll pay ten.
- Oh, don't be clever, Lovejoy.
561
00:41:09,433 --> 00:41:13,096
As proof of my good intent,
I'm handing over my commission to you.
562
00:41:13,137 --> 00:41:16,368
Nine hundred. How's that for generosity?
563
00:41:17,908 --> 00:41:20,376
You might be interested to know
where I got the geese.
564
00:41:20,411 --> 00:41:22,879
It was actually a house clearance in Bungay.
565
00:41:22,913 --> 00:41:27,043
More your patch than mine,
but still, God does sometimes provide.
566
00:41:27,084 --> 00:41:28,949
Count it, Lovejoy.
567
00:41:28,986 --> 00:41:32,149
Where'd you get this, Terence?
Liedje's piggybank?
568
00:41:32,189 --> 00:41:37,126
Sorry, can't do it.
They're being sold tonight, Wildlife Gala.
569
00:41:38,429 --> 00:41:40,954
No, listen, Lovejoy!
570
00:41:40,998 --> 00:41:44,798
With what I make on this, I can take
responsibility for my life, clear the debts
571
00:41:44,835 --> 00:41:47,429
and leave Maureen with something to spare.
572
00:41:47,471 --> 00:41:49,598
By all that's holy, I promise this now.
573
00:41:51,575 --> 00:41:53,406
Take it.
574
00:41:53,444 --> 00:41:56,538
Sorry, Terence. If you want them,
you're going to have to come and get them.
575
00:41:56,580 --> 00:41:59,413
And it's evening rugs, by the way.
576
00:42:03,187 --> 00:42:06,588
- With this gala, it'll be a disaster.
- No, you win some, you lose some, Tink.
577
00:42:06,624 --> 00:42:09,422
Mind you, Tapie might turn up
because Beth gave him a leaflet.
578
00:42:09,460 --> 00:42:11,223
Yeah, smart girl, our Beth.
579
00:42:11,262 --> 00:42:13,355
Tapie and Sullivan, head to head.
580
00:42:13,397 --> 00:42:15,388
We're still afloat, Tink.
581
00:42:38,556 --> 00:42:40,023
(Whispers)
582
00:42:59,743 --> 00:43:01,233
Ladies and gentlemen,
583
00:43:01,278 --> 00:43:04,941
welcome to Felsham Hall
and this very special evening.
584
00:43:04,982 --> 00:43:08,611
In spite of what you see in my hand,
this is not an auction.
585
00:43:10,287 --> 00:43:12,847
You pay only what you see marked up.
586
00:43:12,890 --> 00:43:16,485
And if the prices
seem a little steep here and there,
587
00:43:17,828 --> 00:43:22,322
it's because the Cavendish House
is sharing this evening with a very worthy cause,
588
00:43:22,366 --> 00:43:24,926
Wildlife Action.
589
00:43:24,969 --> 00:43:26,960
(Applause)
590
00:43:29,873 --> 00:43:33,206
A percentage of every sale
goes towards the fund.
591
00:43:33,243 --> 00:43:35,905
Our target is 25,000,
592
00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:41,578
and here, beside us, we have
one of those awful barometer things,
593
00:43:41,619 --> 00:43:43,917
to help us keep abreast of our progress.
594
00:43:45,255 --> 00:43:47,849
And now I'd like to thank in advance
595
00:43:47,891 --> 00:43:49,984
Mr. Charles Gimbert.
596
00:43:50,027 --> 00:43:53,827
- Oh, yes!
- Hear, hear!
597
00:43:53,864 --> 00:43:55,559
(Applause)
598
00:43:58,202 --> 00:44:00,193
Martin, come on.
599
00:44:04,041 --> 00:44:07,499
Give me the nod
the minute anybody shows any interest, OK?
600
00:44:08,412 --> 00:44:10,403
Lovejoy, what if somebody does?
601
00:44:10,447 --> 00:44:12,677
No price tags,
that's strictly contravening the rules.
602
00:44:12,716 --> 00:44:16,447
All for the widow, Tink.
Now, where's Sullivan and where's Tapie?
603
00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:20,014
- No sign of them.
- You've done this for me?
604
00:44:21,291 --> 00:44:24,055
- Anything for you.
- Oh, Lovejoy!
605
00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,925
- I'm touched.
- Lovejoy!
606
00:44:25,963 --> 00:44:28,261
Excuse me.
607
00:44:28,298 --> 00:44:31,699
- What the hell are they doing here?
- Don't know.
608
00:44:31,735 --> 00:44:34,135
Must have been another of Beth's leaflets.
609
00:44:35,906 --> 00:44:37,897
Excuse me.
610
00:44:39,143 --> 00:44:42,476
Hello, you two.
I want a word with you, come on.
611
00:44:43,447 --> 00:44:45,438
You too, Malcolm.
612
00:44:45,616 --> 00:44:48,949
Lovejoy, aren't you going to introduce us?
613
00:44:49,987 --> 00:44:52,581
This is Maureen Sullivan.
This is Charlotte Cavendish.
614
00:44:52,623 --> 00:44:55,990
Oh, I am so sorry to hear about your husband.
615
00:44:56,026 --> 00:44:58,859
- Thank you.
- Malcolm, my dentist.
616
00:44:58,896 --> 00:45:01,831
- Dentist.
- Would you excuse us, Charlotte?
617
00:45:05,302 --> 00:45:07,293
Is he here? Cos I want a word with him.
618
00:45:07,337 --> 00:45:11,205
Just go into the garden and drink
your champagne. I'll see you later.
619
00:45:12,643 --> 00:45:14,372
Go on. Go on.
620
00:45:14,411 --> 00:45:17,812
Lovejoy, is there something going on
that I don't know about?
621
00:45:17,848 --> 00:45:20,612
No, it's just... It's just the heat, isn't it?
622
00:45:20,651 --> 00:45:25,145
Going awfully well though, isn't it?
Talk about it later, your place.
623
00:45:25,923 --> 00:45:27,788
Am I glad to see you here, Mr. Tapie!
624
00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:30,225
- They have no price on them.
- Hmm?
625
00:45:30,260 --> 00:45:32,592
You know, you... Francis!
626
00:45:32,629 --> 00:45:35,063
- You're right. There is no price on them.
- Ten thousand.
627
00:45:35,099 --> 00:45:39,058
- Have them packed up and sent to my car.
- Ten? I've got a man who'll offer twelve.
628
00:45:39,103 --> 00:45:41,094
Mr. Tapie?
629
00:45:41,205 --> 00:45:44,606
So pleased you could join us. Ah, the geese.
630
00:45:44,641 --> 00:45:47,439
- Oh, some haggling from this man.
- Haggling?
631
00:45:47,478 --> 00:45:51,209
- That's not what this evening's all about.
- So the charming young lady said.
632
00:45:51,248 --> 00:45:54,615
Gentlemen, this is Wildlife Action.
The young lady said dig deep.
633
00:45:54,651 --> 00:45:56,642
I'll make...
634
00:45:57,321 --> 00:45:59,789
...a little contribution. What do you want?
635
00:45:59,823 --> 00:46:01,882
Can't say fairer than that, Lovejoy.
636
00:46:03,060 --> 00:46:05,961
Would you excuse us, Mr. Tapie?
637
00:46:05,996 --> 00:46:07,793
Charlie.
638
00:46:07,831 --> 00:46:12,564
Excuse us. Charlie, we could be onto something
here. This man is seriously deranged.
639
00:46:12,603 --> 00:46:17,131
We can lead him by the nose. I've also got
another customer here, if I can only find him.
640
00:46:17,174 --> 00:46:19,734
- It's against the spirit, Lovejoy.
- Against the spirit?
641
00:46:19,777 --> 00:46:22,712
This room is full of hustlers,
including the king of the breed.
642
00:46:22,746 --> 00:46:26,409
- You?
- I was paying that compliment to you, Charlie.
643
00:46:26,450 --> 00:46:28,441
Oh.
644
00:46:30,087 --> 00:46:35,923
Apparently there is some confusion about this,
which Mr. Lovejoy has to sort out for himself.
645
00:46:35,959 --> 00:46:38,655
Meanwhile, feel free to enjoy yourself.
646
00:46:38,695 --> 00:46:42,654
I believe there are some geese
in that painting just over there.
647
00:46:48,639 --> 00:46:53,235
Try not to mess up, Lovejoy.
I've got to pay for all this.
648
00:47:08,058 --> 00:47:11,255
- Terence, where the hell have you been?
- Changing. What are you up to?
649
00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:14,594
It's time for you and De Hont
to show your true colors.
650
00:47:14,631 --> 00:47:17,691
Ah, Tapie. This is Arnold Tapie from Hatfield.
651
00:47:17,734 --> 00:47:20,601
This is Terence Sullivan,
representing Monsieur De Hont.
652
00:47:20,637 --> 00:47:23,868
- (Hisses)
- What's going on? This is illegal.
653
00:47:23,907 --> 00:47:26,375
I don't want to get involved
in some cheap auction.
654
00:47:26,410 --> 00:47:30,813
It won't be cheap, I can assure you of that.
Tink. Excuse us a moment, gentlemen.
655
00:47:32,516 --> 00:47:36,509
Now, keep Maureen, her brother,
Charlotte and Gimbert out of here.
656
00:47:36,553 --> 00:47:39,681
- And what's in it for us?
- You still owe me a fiver. Do it.
657
00:47:42,559 --> 00:47:47,690
Gentlemen, on behalf of Wildlife Action...
658
00:47:49,833 --> 00:47:51,596
who'll give me the first bid?
659
00:47:52,769 --> 00:47:54,964
Oh, I say!
660
00:47:55,005 --> 00:47:58,873
Isn't that marvelous?
661
00:48:00,577 --> 00:48:02,568
Drink, Tink?
662
00:48:04,848 --> 00:48:10,286
Now, you are going to tell me
exactly what is going on.
663
00:48:10,954 --> 00:48:14,117
25. It's 25 against you again, sir. Do I hear 30?
664
00:48:14,157 --> 00:48:16,216
30?
665
00:48:16,260 --> 00:48:18,387
30. 30 against you.
666
00:48:18,428 --> 00:48:21,363
35. Do I hear 35?
667
00:48:21,398 --> 00:48:23,798
Thank you very much. £35,000 is the bid.
668
00:48:23,834 --> 00:48:26,302
35,000 against you.
669
00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:28,600
40. Do I hear 40? Come on.
670
00:48:28,639 --> 00:48:31,130
Do I hear 40? 40?
40. Thank you very much indeed.
671
00:48:31,174 --> 00:48:33,938
40. 40 against you, Mr. Tapie.
672
00:48:33,977 --> 00:48:38,573
Come on, 45, do I hear 45? 45, yes.
Thank you very much. £45,000.
673
00:48:38,615 --> 00:48:42,984
The bid is £45,000.
674
00:48:43,020 --> 00:48:46,012
Mr. Sullivan. 40...
675
00:48:46,056 --> 00:48:47,819
Is that nine?
676
00:48:47,858 --> 00:48:49,587
49?
677
00:48:49,626 --> 00:48:52,595
£49,000.
678
00:48:52,629 --> 00:48:54,824
£49,000 against you, Mr. Tapie.
679
00:48:57,501 --> 00:48:59,492
50?
680
00:49:01,772 --> 00:49:04,206
Thank you very much. £50,000.
681
00:49:04,241 --> 00:49:07,938
£50,000. Mr. Sullivan? No?
682
00:49:07,978 --> 00:49:10,913
Going once. Going twice.
683
00:49:13,383 --> 00:49:16,750
Sold to Mr. Arnold Tapie for £50,000.
684
00:49:16,787 --> 00:49:18,778
For a pair of broken-down old geese.
685
00:49:18,822 --> 00:49:20,847
Still, that's what makes horse racing.
686
00:49:21,725 --> 00:49:26,025
Could you make the check out
for £45,000 to Mrs. Maureen Sullivan,
687
00:49:26,063 --> 00:49:29,362
and 5,000 to me, Lovejoy, in cash?
688
00:49:29,399 --> 00:49:32,334
- Thank you very much.
- I'm not dead, Lovejoy.
689
00:49:32,369 --> 00:49:34,360
I'm here in the living flesh.
690
00:49:34,404 --> 00:49:37,202
These are my geese
and I demand possession of them.
691
00:49:37,240 --> 00:49:40,573
- What's the fine for wasting police time?
- What?
692
00:49:40,610 --> 00:49:43,204
You fell off a boat. You drowned, Terence.
693
00:49:43,246 --> 00:49:45,737
You are dead, and your wife's in the garden.
694
00:49:45,782 --> 00:49:49,218
- Oh, my God!
- Enjoy the rest of your life.
695
00:49:50,053 --> 00:49:53,181
Can't. Can't hack it any more.
696
00:49:53,223 --> 00:49:56,124
- I haven't the juice for it.
- Only the wigs get younger.
697
00:49:58,528 --> 00:50:02,191
- You owe me, sunshine.
- Get stuffed, Charlie.
698
00:50:05,102 --> 00:50:07,093
Three.
699
00:50:09,006 --> 00:50:10,997
Only one more.
700
00:50:13,210 --> 00:50:16,373
- Thank you.
- Thank you, Lovejoy. Mine, I think.
701
00:50:17,447 --> 00:50:19,745
Where's my £3,000?
702
00:50:21,385 --> 00:50:25,981
"Come on, you little toerag,
pay up or I'll have to get stern with you."
703
00:50:27,290 --> 00:50:30,225
- Not my writing, Lovejoy.
- It's on your notepaper.
704
00:50:31,828 --> 00:50:34,490
- It's only a copy, Charlie.
- Forgery.
705
00:50:34,531 --> 00:50:38,524
But it'll smell very nasty in the hands
of the doggy set, especially Mrs. Normington.
706
00:50:38,568 --> 00:50:41,833
- Prove it.
- Charlie. Please.
707
00:50:43,940 --> 00:50:47,876
All right, Lovejoy.
Who wants to spoil such a lovely evening?
708
00:50:47,911 --> 00:50:49,902
Thank you so much, Lovejoy.
709
00:50:53,450 --> 00:50:55,441
- (Bell dings)
- We've done it!
710
00:50:57,254 --> 00:50:59,245
We've done it!
711
00:50:59,295 --> 00:51:03,845
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Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
56862
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