All language subtitles for Life in Pieces s01e08 Godparent Maze Mexican Farts.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,770 --> 00:00:06,670 _ 2 00:00:06,812 --> 00:00:08,580 Do we really need all this? I mean, 3 00:00:08,582 --> 00:00:10,448 we're trying to find a godparent for Lark, 4 00:00:10,450 --> 00:00:12,350 not catch a serial killer. 5 00:00:12,352 --> 00:00:14,653 Well, you know I always wanted to work in the FBI. 6 00:00:14,655 --> 00:00:16,688 I just hate running in a suit. 7 00:00:16,690 --> 00:00:17,427 Oh, is that the problem... 8 00:00:17,547 --> 00:00:19,328 - that you have with running? - Yeah. Yeah. 9 00:00:19,448 --> 00:00:20,759 All right, so, 10 00:00:20,761 --> 00:00:21,726 let's go over our options. 11 00:00:21,728 --> 00:00:22,927 JEN: Okay, what about... 12 00:00:22,929 --> 00:00:25,263 - my parents? - Gonna have to veto. 13 00:00:25,265 --> 00:00:27,899 Guardians shouldn't live off the grid 14 00:00:27,901 --> 00:00:30,001 and drink rain out of a bucket. 15 00:00:30,003 --> 00:00:31,536 Rainwater's the sweetest water. 16 00:00:31,538 --> 00:00:33,137 What about my parents? 17 00:00:34,306 --> 00:00:35,540 Yeah, I'm gonna veto that. 18 00:00:35,542 --> 00:00:37,942 Um, therapists raise children 19 00:00:37,944 --> 00:00:39,877 who need therapists. 20 00:00:39,879 --> 00:00:41,212 Well, she raised me. 21 00:00:41,880 --> 00:00:42,981 And I see your point 22 00:00:42,983 --> 00:00:44,582 and I second your veto. 23 00:00:44,584 --> 00:00:46,284 Uh... all right, 24 00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:47,919 Heather and Tim. 25 00:00:47,921 --> 00:00:50,088 Interesting. 26 00:00:51,290 --> 00:00:53,424 Oh, oh. No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 27 00:00:53,426 --> 00:00:55,593 No, go upstairs. Please put the khakis on. 28 00:00:55,595 --> 00:00:58,162 Khakis? No way. It's Saturday. Saturday's my cutoffs day. 29 00:00:58,164 --> 00:00:59,831 No, honey, Greg and Jen are coming over. 30 00:00:59,833 --> 00:01:01,365 New parents don't just drop by 31 00:01:01,367 --> 00:01:03,334 unless it's the godparent conversation 32 00:01:03,336 --> 00:01:06,504 And godparents do not wear cutoffs . 33 00:01:06,506 --> 00:01:07,972 All right, I'll put on my cutoff khakis. 34 00:01:07,974 --> 00:01:09,240 No, no. No, no, no, no. 35 00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:11,142 No. Full coverage khakis. 36 00:01:11,144 --> 00:01:12,443 Like down to the ankle. 37 00:01:12,445 --> 00:01:14,478 I can make 'em go to my ankle. 38 00:01:14,480 --> 00:01:16,414 Okay, honey, p... I'm-I'm... 39 00:01:16,416 --> 00:01:19,950 Really, this is important to me. Please. Love you! 40 00:01:19,952 --> 00:01:22,286 It's just that, since we've had Lark, we've started to see 41 00:01:22,406 --> 00:01:23,380 the world differently, you know... 42 00:01:23,382 --> 00:01:24,755 - through a parent's eyes. - And when we look 43 00:01:24,875 --> 00:01:27,925 at you, we just see such loving, giving 44 00:01:27,927 --> 00:01:29,927 - parents who are always... - Mom? 45 00:01:29,929 --> 00:01:32,563 We found these in the attic. Can we go play with them outside? 46 00:01:32,565 --> 00:01:33,631 Yeah, sure. 47 00:01:34,666 --> 00:01:36,333 They're such little self-starters. 48 00:01:36,335 --> 00:01:37,968 And they play so well together. 49 00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:40,004 - SOPHIA: Give it to me! - SAMANTHA: No, not until we get outside. 50 00:01:40,006 --> 00:01:41,071 SOPHIA: I found them. 51 00:01:41,073 --> 00:01:42,940 Were those rusty lawn darts? 52 00:01:42,942 --> 00:01:44,254 JEN: 'Cause I feel like those are taken 53 00:01:44,374 --> 00:01:47,244 off the market, you know, because of issues with... 54 00:01:47,245 --> 00:01:47,245 because of issues like 55 00:01:47,246 --> 00:01:48,946 deadliness. 56 00:01:48,948 --> 00:01:51,749 Oh. Don't worry, our kids have their tetanus shots. 57 00:01:51,751 --> 00:01:54,518 Yeah, yeah. He's a doctor. 58 00:01:55,353 --> 00:01:57,254 Oh, dang. 59 00:01:57,256 --> 00:02:00,290 - You know what? We got a thing. - Yeah. 60 00:02:00,292 --> 00:02:01,892 - No. - We got a thing. 61 00:02:01,894 --> 00:02:03,494 - No, you don't. - Um, yeah. No, and it's so crazy, 62 00:02:03,496 --> 00:02:04,795 'cause the thing is, it's actually 63 00:02:04,797 --> 00:02:06,964 - kind of a big, uh... big deal. - What-what thing? 64 00:02:06,966 --> 00:02:08,498 It's a... it's a thing. It's just a big... 65 00:02:08,500 --> 00:02:09,933 It's a big... it's a big deal thing. Big, big thing. 66 00:02:09,935 --> 00:02:12,202 So, apologies. Mommy brain. Okay, 67 00:02:12,204 --> 00:02:14,471 - we'll call you. - Bye! 68 00:02:14,473 --> 00:02:17,174 - Damn it. - (chuckles) 69 00:02:21,082 --> 00:02:22,887 Had them on underneath the whole time. 70 00:02:23,481 --> 00:02:25,348 And it's just that, since we've had Lark, 71 00:02:25,350 --> 00:02:27,451 it's really changed the way we look at the world. 72 00:02:27,453 --> 00:02:29,786 Well, speaking of seeing the world, your mother and I 73 00:02:29,788 --> 00:02:33,423 are gonna take a cruise to that island where that science nerd 74 00:02:33,425 --> 00:02:34,591 went and studied birds. 75 00:02:34,593 --> 00:02:36,693 We're going to the Gal�pagos, 76 00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:38,728 and we're going to walk 77 00:02:38,730 --> 00:02:41,531 - in Darwin's footsteps. - She is. 78 00:02:41,533 --> 00:02:43,900 I'm taking the tour where you get to shoot machine guns 79 00:02:43,902 --> 00:02:45,902 at the cutouts of the Bond villains. 80 00:02:45,904 --> 00:02:47,637 - Sounds sensible. - Yeah. 81 00:02:47,639 --> 00:02:48,838 I know it's hard to believe when you're holding 82 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:50,073 this little angel, 83 00:02:50,075 --> 00:02:51,808 but once your children leave, 84 00:02:51,810 --> 00:02:55,178 you rediscover the person that you fell in love with. 85 00:02:55,180 --> 00:02:57,247 It's true. We're closer than ever. 86 00:02:57,249 --> 00:02:59,449 JOAN: Oh, let's go show them 87 00:02:59,451 --> 00:03:01,918 the matching bathing suits we bought for the trip. 88 00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:03,253 JOHN: Yeah. 89 00:03:03,255 --> 00:03:05,021 Fashion show. Hey, Greg, get ready. 90 00:03:05,023 --> 00:03:07,790 Put on some of that thump-thump music of yours, huh? 91 00:03:07,792 --> 00:03:10,760 Thunk-a-thunk-a-thunk. 92 00:03:10,762 --> 00:03:12,762 Okay. All right, well, we're-we're just gonna have 93 00:03:12,764 --> 00:03:14,864 - to go outside of the family. - All right. 94 00:03:14,866 --> 00:03:17,567 So, my gays or yours? 95 00:03:17,569 --> 00:03:19,402 You know, let's do mine. 96 00:03:19,404 --> 00:03:22,572 Yours are still "just roommates." 97 00:03:22,574 --> 00:03:24,374 And it's just that, ever since we've had Lark, 98 00:03:24,376 --> 00:03:26,476 it's really changed the way that we look at the world. 99 00:03:26,478 --> 00:03:27,944 Okay, I'm sorry. I'm gonna stop you right there. 100 00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:30,012 Is this a godparents request? 101 00:03:30,014 --> 00:03:32,615 (chuckles) What gave it away? 102 00:03:32,617 --> 00:03:34,650 (chuckles) The crudit�s? 103 00:03:34,652 --> 00:03:37,887 Oh, Jenny, we can't. We're godparents to six other kids. 104 00:03:37,889 --> 00:03:39,488 We can't take on any more until we see 105 00:03:39,490 --> 00:03:41,190 - how many of our friends die. - Yeah. 106 00:03:41,192 --> 00:03:43,693 And we already have a lot of hard partiers on that list. 107 00:03:43,695 --> 00:03:46,462 Mm-hmm. If we got them all at once, we'd have to start a band. 108 00:03:47,431 --> 00:03:48,864 (sports commentator speaking) 109 00:03:48,866 --> 00:03:50,499 - Here you go, darling. - Thank you. 110 00:03:50,501 --> 00:03:51,834 (as the officials now bring out... ) 111 00:03:51,836 --> 00:03:54,737 What are we gonna do with you, Lark? 112 00:03:54,739 --> 00:03:56,705 - Hold still. - Okay. But, you know, to be fair, 113 00:03:56,707 --> 00:03:58,941 you have poked me in the eye twice already. 114 00:03:58,943 --> 00:04:00,709 If I'm going to be a professional model, 115 00:04:00,711 --> 00:04:02,678 - I have to practice. - Okay. 116 00:04:02,680 --> 00:04:04,580 And Mom won't let me wear makeup. 117 00:04:04,582 --> 00:04:06,382 You know, being a model's a very interesting job, 118 00:04:06,384 --> 00:04:08,417 but there are other good ones out there. 119 00:04:08,419 --> 00:04:10,819 I know. I'm also thinking of being 120 00:04:10,821 --> 00:04:13,355 - a movie star or a singer. - Oh, man. 121 00:04:13,357 --> 00:04:16,091 I thought you were gonna say "senator." That would be awful. 122 00:04:16,093 --> 00:04:17,760 - Why? - Well, because then you'll be 123 00:04:17,762 --> 00:04:19,094 in charge of making all the rules 124 00:04:19,096 --> 00:04:20,596 and you'd have to run the country. 125 00:04:20,598 --> 00:04:21,930 Hey, that sounds good. 126 00:04:21,932 --> 00:04:23,465 - Maybe I'll do that. - Oh, no, no. 127 00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:24,967 You're gonna be way too busy modeling. 128 00:04:24,969 --> 00:04:26,902 Don't tell me what to do. 129 00:04:26,904 --> 00:04:28,570 I can be a senator if I want. 130 00:04:28,572 --> 00:04:31,440 Okay. Well, you already got the bossy part down. 131 00:04:35,294 --> 00:04:37,140 When we look at you, we see a person 132 00:04:37,260 --> 00:04:39,920 who is loving and kind 133 00:04:40,421 --> 00:04:44,188 and a person who would know what to say 134 00:04:44,308 --> 00:04:46,788 to a little girl if her mom and dad 135 00:04:46,790 --> 00:04:48,824 weren't there... (chuckles) 136 00:04:48,826 --> 00:04:52,122 and she was going to her first school dance 137 00:04:52,460 --> 00:04:55,821 and was wondering if anyone would dance with her. 138 00:04:58,147 --> 00:05:01,423 So, I think before I start crying we wanna ask... 139 00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:04,423 will you be Lark's godparent? 140 00:05:04,807 --> 00:05:05,611 Me? 141 00:05:07,528 --> 00:05:08,928 Oh, yeah. 142 00:05:09,711 --> 00:05:10,977 Yeah, of course. 143 00:05:10,979 --> 00:05:12,655 Yeah. 144 00:05:12,775 --> 00:05:14,347 And if anything should happen, 145 00:05:14,349 --> 00:05:16,015 I promise I will love her 146 00:05:16,017 --> 00:05:17,584 just like she is my own 147 00:05:17,933 --> 00:05:21,054 and I will honor your memory with dignity. 148 00:05:21,056 --> 00:05:22,522 (sniffles) 149 00:05:22,524 --> 00:05:24,257 (chuckling, crying) 150 00:05:24,259 --> 00:05:26,593 Aw. 151 00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:28,261 Well, if that's what they were looking for, 152 00:05:28,263 --> 00:05:30,630 we never stood a chance. 153 00:05:30,632 --> 00:05:32,832 I never noticed till right now 154 00:05:32,834 --> 00:05:36,035 - how much you and Matt look alike. - Yeah. 155 00:05:38,105 --> 00:05:40,239 - _ - (sports commentator speaking) 156 00:05:40,241 --> 00:05:41,340 (And the ball is snapped... ) 157 00:05:41,342 --> 00:05:44,043 HEATHER: Oh. 158 00:05:44,045 --> 00:05:47,345 Honey. Honey. Honey, listen, 159 00:05:47,465 --> 00:05:49,196 I left the turkey in the car overnight. Now it's spoiled. 160 00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:50,165 I have to take it to my mom's. 161 00:05:50,285 --> 00:05:51,738 She's gonna say that I ruined it, and I did. 162 00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:52,906 But I don't want to look like I ruined it. 163 00:05:53,026 --> 00:05:54,754 And I need you to go to the market and get me another turkey. 164 00:05:54,756 --> 00:05:56,191 Babe, you got to slow down. I don't understand 165 00:05:56,311 --> 00:05:57,223 a word you're saying. 166 00:05:57,225 --> 00:05:59,392 She said you're done watching football. 167 00:05:59,394 --> 00:06:00,826 (And it's a few inches... ) 168 00:06:00,828 --> 00:06:03,162 Honey, the turkey needs to be at least 16 pounds. 169 00:06:03,164 --> 00:06:04,964 And make sure there are no chemicals in it, 170 00:06:04,966 --> 00:06:06,332 unless it's the good kind of chemicals 171 00:06:06,334 --> 00:06:07,566 that make me seem like a better cook. 172 00:06:07,568 --> 00:06:08,968 Honey, I wrote it all down. 173 00:06:08,970 --> 00:06:10,703 I'm not a child. 174 00:06:10,705 --> 00:06:12,238 What's wrong with being a child? 175 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:13,873 Nothing, honey, it's just that, you know, 176 00:06:13,875 --> 00:06:16,509 kids tend to forget things. 177 00:06:18,879 --> 00:06:20,546 Do you have the car keys? 178 00:06:20,548 --> 00:06:22,248 Damn it. Hey, 179 00:06:22,250 --> 00:06:24,283 tell you what, how about you run inside, 180 00:06:24,285 --> 00:06:26,452 get the car keys, and I'll time you. 181 00:06:26,454 --> 00:06:28,254 How about I time you? 182 00:06:28,256 --> 00:06:31,257 Fine. 183 00:06:31,259 --> 00:06:33,292 Don't start counting till I pass the bumper. 184 00:06:34,127 --> 00:06:36,061 One Mississippi, 185 00:06:36,063 --> 00:06:40,199 two Mississ... I'm just gonna tell him it was two minutes. 186 00:06:40,201 --> 00:06:41,800 - (cheering) - (marching band playing) 187 00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:48,574 Aw, come on! 188 00:06:48,576 --> 00:06:53,345 A Thanksgiving parade? Today?! 189 00:06:53,347 --> 00:06:56,315 And every route to the grocery store is blocked. 190 00:06:56,317 --> 00:06:57,749 Hey, there's a Mexican market 191 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:58,884 right here. 192 00:06:58,886 --> 00:06:59,851 It's where Pop-Pop gets 193 00:06:59,853 --> 00:07:01,153 his margarita salt. 194 00:07:04,424 --> 00:07:06,725 Oh! Check out these cherry boots! 195 00:07:06,727 --> 00:07:08,193 What are these for? 196 00:07:08,195 --> 00:07:09,594 (speaking Spanish) 197 00:07:09,596 --> 00:07:10,462 Huh? 198 00:07:10,464 --> 00:07:12,164 (speaking Spanish) 199 00:07:12,166 --> 00:07:13,765 (scatting) 200 00:07:13,767 --> 00:07:15,333 Dancing shoes. 201 00:07:15,335 --> 00:07:17,135 Oh. 202 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:44,195 (chuckling): Yeah. 203 00:07:44,197 --> 00:07:45,964 That isn't on the list. 204 00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:48,390 Well, we need something to carve the turkey. 205 00:07:48,798 --> 00:07:50,502 Hola. How can I helping you? 206 00:07:50,504 --> 00:07:51,903 Uh, yeah, I need turkey. 207 00:07:51,905 --> 00:07:55,139 And enough candy to fill our jirafa pi�ata. 208 00:07:55,141 --> 00:07:56,274 Aqu� est�. 209 00:07:56,276 --> 00:07:58,676 Uh, no, no, a turkey. 210 00:07:58,678 --> 00:08:00,078 Es un pavo chico. 211 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,046 He says it's a little turkey. 212 00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:03,281 Oh. 213 00:08:03,283 --> 00:08:04,983 Oh, 214 00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:07,018 - Oh, oh. Are you okay? - (grunts) 215 00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,988 He loses his balance a lot. 216 00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,522 Well, you know, I'm a... I'm a doctor. 217 00:08:11,524 --> 00:08:13,458 Uh, El doctor-o... 218 00:08:13,460 --> 00:08:14,258 M�dico. 219 00:08:14,260 --> 00:08:15,359 M�dico. 220 00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:16,527 Yeah, ear, nose, and throat. 221 00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:18,429 - Ah. - Ah. 222 00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,231 - Little doctor. - Ay. 223 00:08:20,233 --> 00:08:22,800 Beg to differ. 224 00:08:22,802 --> 00:08:25,169 Okay, I think I see the problem here. 225 00:08:25,171 --> 00:08:27,505 Sir, would you mind lying down on your back, please? 226 00:08:27,507 --> 00:08:29,540 - Tu espalda. - Uh-huh. 227 00:08:29,542 --> 00:08:31,442 I'm going to do a procedure. 228 00:08:31,444 --> 00:08:32,877 I'm going to roll your head, and it's gonna loosen 229 00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:34,412 the crystals in your ear canal. 230 00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:35,579 You have, uh... 231 00:08:35,581 --> 00:08:37,281 How do you say "vertigo"? 232 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:38,382 V�rtigo. 233 00:08:38,384 --> 00:08:39,183 Really? 234 00:08:39,185 --> 00:08:40,051 S�. 235 00:08:40,053 --> 00:08:41,952 (chuckles) I speak Spanish. 236 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:44,689 Okay, rotate your head the other way. 237 00:08:48,493 --> 00:08:51,395 Daddy, I like that you can help people. 238 00:08:51,397 --> 00:08:53,464 Aw, thanks, sweetie. You know, you helped, too. 239 00:08:53,466 --> 00:08:56,233 You translated. Ooh, don't touch that machete. 240 00:08:56,235 --> 00:08:58,235 Yours is the little one. 241 00:08:58,237 --> 00:09:01,605 Do you think that Mom will be mad that we didn't get a turkey? 242 00:09:01,607 --> 00:09:03,641 You know, I think... I think she'll be proud of us 243 00:09:03,643 --> 00:09:04,909 because we helped somebody. 244 00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,377 But maybe a little mad 245 00:09:06,379 --> 00:09:08,312 because we didn't get a turkey. 246 00:09:08,314 --> 00:09:10,581 But mostly mad because we didn't get a turkey. 247 00:09:10,583 --> 00:09:11,615 YOUNG MAN: Se�or! 248 00:09:11,617 --> 00:09:13,350 I have something for you. 249 00:09:13,352 --> 00:09:14,918 Please, come. 250 00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:16,720 Un momento. 251 00:09:16,722 --> 00:09:19,656 Thank you. For you, you saved my father. 252 00:09:19,658 --> 00:09:23,527 Oh. No, really, thank you, but that's... it's not necessary. 253 00:09:23,529 --> 00:09:24,595 Insto. 254 00:09:24,597 --> 00:09:25,963 All right. 255 00:09:27,065 --> 00:09:28,498 For you. 256 00:09:33,137 --> 00:09:34,972 Hey. You're... Uh, 257 00:09:34,974 --> 00:09:37,674 Hi. Hi, what's on your feet? 258 00:09:37,676 --> 00:09:39,209 Mexican dancing shoes. 259 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:41,611 Okay, please tell me that you got a turkey. 260 00:09:41,613 --> 00:09:43,814 Yep! 261 00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:47,684 - Oh. - His name 262 00:09:47,686 --> 00:09:49,319 is Senator Gobbles. 263 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:51,521 He's gonna sleep up in my room. 264 00:09:51,523 --> 00:09:53,123 Let's go, Senator Gobbles. 265 00:09:53,125 --> 00:09:54,491 Come see your new room. 266 00:09:54,493 --> 00:09:57,794 - (gobbling) - Come on. 267 00:09:57,796 --> 00:09:59,462 There's a turkey in my house. 268 00:09:59,464 --> 00:10:02,198 I also got you a little turkey. 269 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:05,168 That's a chicken. 270 00:10:09,839 --> 00:10:12,175 Pretty sure you're wrong about that. 271 00:10:16,857 --> 00:10:18,348 Come on. 272 00:10:19,537 --> 00:10:20,665 JOHN: Oh, boy. 273 00:10:21,373 --> 00:10:23,173 _ 274 00:10:23,504 --> 00:10:26,732 Hey there. Samantha excited to go to the Harvest Festival? 275 00:10:26,852 --> 00:10:28,487 Well, she's not excited about anything right now... 276 00:10:28,607 --> 00:10:30,977 that's not a 13-year-old boy named Aiden. 277 00:10:30,979 --> 00:10:31,797 - But... - Mm-hmm? 278 00:10:31,917 --> 00:10:32,572 if you're looking for 279 00:10:32,692 --> 00:10:36,215 a sulking, pouting 13-year-old, well, Sam's your girl. 280 00:10:36,217 --> 00:10:37,306 Hey, Pop-Pop. 281 00:10:37,544 --> 00:10:39,034 Can't wait for the festival. 282 00:10:39,154 --> 00:10:41,734 Let's go. I already changed the radio to FM. 283 00:10:41,854 --> 00:10:42,855 Mm. 284 00:10:43,758 --> 00:10:45,458 Seems fine to me. 285 00:10:45,460 --> 00:10:47,293 Maybe you're the problem. 286 00:10:47,295 --> 00:10:48,928 Hey, keep an eye on her. 287 00:10:50,297 --> 00:10:52,198 WOMAN: You want to pet the goats? 288 00:10:52,200 --> 00:10:54,633 Can we do the corn maze? 289 00:10:54,635 --> 00:10:57,002 Oh, I don't know about that. 290 00:10:57,004 --> 00:10:59,138 Um, you know, when I was a kid, 291 00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:01,807 I had a bad experience in a corn maze. 292 00:11:01,809 --> 00:11:05,377 - You know what PTSD is? - No. 293 00:11:05,379 --> 00:11:07,646 Well, it's when your parents have so many kids, 294 00:11:07,648 --> 00:11:11,317 they forget they left one in the corn maze, and, uh, 295 00:11:11,319 --> 00:11:14,119 it's getting dark, and you wet your dungarees. 296 00:11:14,121 --> 00:11:16,055 - Dungarees? - Pants. 297 00:11:22,462 --> 00:11:28,353 - Actually need to go to the bathroom. - Okay. 298 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,489 (goat bleating) 299 00:11:35,661 --> 00:11:38,329 What the... ? 300 00:11:39,465 --> 00:11:41,032 Come on. 301 00:11:41,034 --> 00:11:43,501 (laughs) 302 00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,671 Oh, boy. 303 00:11:48,874 --> 00:11:50,942 Excuse me. Uh, can I ask you a favor? 304 00:11:50,944 --> 00:11:54,045 My granddaughter just went in there with a boy. 305 00:11:54,047 --> 00:11:57,815 Uh, will you go in there and make her come out right now? 306 00:11:57,817 --> 00:12:00,118 I mean, drag her out if you have to. 307 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:02,887 Are you asking me if I will approach a little white girl 308 00:12:02,889 --> 00:12:04,922 in a corn maze and drag her out? 309 00:12:04,924 --> 00:12:08,259 Because I can tell you right now that's a bad idea. 310 00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:10,628 Uh, yeah, that makes sense. 311 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,530 I love Thanksgiving. 312 00:12:12,532 --> 00:12:15,633 Thanksgiving's like Halloween's girlfriend. 313 00:12:15,635 --> 00:12:18,035 So you're like my Thanksgiving. 314 00:12:18,037 --> 00:12:20,471 (laughs) 315 00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,107 (laughs) 316 00:12:25,410 --> 00:12:27,745 It's just corn. 317 00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:29,647 I love corn. 318 00:12:29,649 --> 00:12:32,750 Corn is delicious. 319 00:12:32,752 --> 00:12:36,487 Corn dogs, corn flakes. 320 00:12:36,489 --> 00:12:38,823 Corn bread. 321 00:12:38,825 --> 00:12:43,127 Uh, oh, uh... candy corn? 322 00:12:43,129 --> 00:12:45,429 - (laughs) - I won it by making a free throw. 323 00:12:45,431 --> 00:12:47,465 Oh. (laughs) 324 00:12:47,467 --> 00:12:49,366 That's good. (laughs) 325 00:12:49,368 --> 00:12:51,468 I love vegetable candy. 326 00:12:51,470 --> 00:12:54,104 I could always make another free throw. 327 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,706 - Really? - Yeah, if you're still hungry. 328 00:12:55,708 --> 00:12:57,141 Um, thanks. 329 00:12:57,143 --> 00:12:59,209 (laughs) 330 00:13:11,089 --> 00:13:12,689 - You're looking for the end? - (gasps) 331 00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:14,024 You're almost there. 332 00:13:14,026 --> 00:13:16,059 - But first beware... a few more... - Shut up! 333 00:13:16,061 --> 00:13:18,295 Did you see a little girl go by here with a dorky kid? 334 00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,265 All I see is birds and hay, come back and ask... 335 00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,901 - You're with me now! Come on. - Ow! I'm not supposed to leave my zone! 336 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,570 - I'm losing my hay! - You're helping me find my granddaughter. 337 00:13:27,708 --> 00:13:30,240 This is really fun. I'm glad we got to... 338 00:13:32,795 --> 00:13:34,923 - JOHN: Sam? - Oh-oh. 339 00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,317 Not cool. 340 00:13:37,441 --> 00:13:38,353 AIDEN: Uh, y-you know, 341 00:13:38,355 --> 00:13:40,421 my mom's waiting for me in the parking lot. I-I got to go. 342 00:13:40,423 --> 00:13:42,957 Okay. 343 00:13:42,959 --> 00:13:45,026 Well, I guess I know 344 00:13:45,028 --> 00:13:47,495 why you wanted to go to the Harvest Festival, huh? 345 00:13:47,497 --> 00:13:49,030 I'm sorry, Pop-Pop. 346 00:13:49,032 --> 00:13:51,165 I shouldn't have gone in the maze. 347 00:13:53,902 --> 00:13:57,138 Boy, that must have been some kind of kiss, hmm? 348 00:13:57,140 --> 00:13:59,307 The way you were smiling. 349 00:13:59,309 --> 00:14:00,708 It was my first. 350 00:14:00,710 --> 00:14:03,010 - (laughs) - Huh? 351 00:14:03,012 --> 00:14:04,512 Wow. 352 00:14:04,514 --> 00:14:07,748 Well, it looks like your first corn maze experience 353 00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:09,650 was a lot better than mine, huh? 354 00:14:09,652 --> 00:14:11,118 (both laugh) 355 00:14:11,120 --> 00:14:12,853 That is unless you peed yourself. 356 00:14:12,855 --> 00:14:14,822 - I didn't, no. - Ah. 357 00:14:14,824 --> 00:14:16,157 Didn't think so. 358 00:14:16,159 --> 00:14:18,225 Are you going to tell Mom and Dad? 359 00:14:18,227 --> 00:14:20,494 No, I think the lifelong memory 360 00:14:20,496 --> 00:14:22,630 of your grandfather interrupting your first kiss 361 00:14:22,632 --> 00:14:24,231 is punishment enough. 362 00:14:24,233 --> 00:14:26,600 Huh? 363 00:14:26,602 --> 00:14:28,536 Pop-Pop? 364 00:14:28,538 --> 00:14:31,005 - Hmm? - I don't know the way out. 365 00:14:31,007 --> 00:14:33,174 Oh, that's okay. 366 00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,910 Uh,... I can get us out. 367 00:14:35,912 --> 00:14:39,013 I'm a pilot. 368 00:14:39,015 --> 00:14:40,147 Help! Mayday! 369 00:14:40,149 --> 00:14:42,216 - Help! - Get us out of here! 370 00:14:42,218 --> 00:14:42,898 Help! 371 00:14:45,049 --> 00:14:46,276 COLLEEN: I was afraid this might happen. 372 00:14:46,396 --> 00:14:48,204 - What's that? - My cauliflower rice is delicious, 373 00:14:48,324 --> 00:14:51,848 but sometimes, it's a little more than some people can handle. 374 00:14:52,638 --> 00:14:54,638 _ 375 00:14:55,487 --> 00:14:57,121 Mmm. Mmm. 376 00:14:57,123 --> 00:14:58,205 - Sticky. - Oh, sorry. 377 00:14:58,625 --> 00:15:00,136 So, first Thanksgiving with the family. 378 00:15:00,256 --> 00:15:00,917 - Yeah. - How you feeling? 379 00:15:00,952 --> 00:15:02,627 Uh, good, confident. 380 00:15:03,213 --> 00:15:04,041 Not as confident as you 381 00:15:04,086 --> 00:15:05,830 to go with a peach cheek and a pink lip. 382 00:15:05,832 --> 00:15:08,599 (both laughing) So, who's he? 383 00:15:08,601 --> 00:15:10,778 Oh, that. That is Gary Timpkins. 384 00:15:10,822 --> 00:15:12,761 He's our neighbor. He's the head of the H.O.A. 385 00:15:12,881 --> 00:15:14,587 Apparently, me living in the garage is a violation 386 00:15:14,631 --> 00:15:17,341 of, like, 20 codes, so my parents decided to invite him to Thanksgiving 387 00:15:17,461 --> 00:15:19,197 - to butter him up. - How did he find out? 388 00:15:19,479 --> 00:15:21,304 Um, apparently, I fell asleep with the garage door open, 389 00:15:21,424 --> 00:15:22,785 and I mooned a school bus full of children. 390 00:15:22,829 --> 00:15:24,998 - (laughing): Oh. - Happy Thanksgiving! 391 00:15:25,118 --> 00:15:26,585 Happy Thanksgiving! 392 00:15:26,705 --> 00:15:28,242 - Hi, sweetie. - Hi. 393 00:15:28,286 --> 00:15:30,408 Oh, honey, can you get the rest of that makeup off? 394 00:15:30,528 --> 00:15:31,915 - Yeah. - Because, you know, 395 00:15:32,035 --> 00:15:34,330 Mr. Timpkin' wife just died. 396 00:15:34,450 --> 00:15:36,825 And you look uncomfortably similar to her. 397 00:15:36,945 --> 00:15:39,597 Oh. Uh, you said not to bring anything, 398 00:15:39,599 --> 00:15:42,483 so I brought my famous cauliflower rice. 399 00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:44,869 Thank you for not listening to me. 400 00:15:45,359 --> 00:15:46,867 And don't go into my office, 401 00:15:46,987 --> 00:15:48,806 'cause there's a live turkey in there. 402 00:15:48,926 --> 00:15:50,702 - Okay. What? - Is that normal? 403 00:15:50,737 --> 00:15:54,184 It was given to Tim by a Mexican grocer with vertigo. 404 00:15:55,881 --> 00:15:58,315 That's a lot of information. 405 00:15:58,317 --> 00:15:59,817 Boy, this... 406 00:15:59,819 --> 00:16:02,620 cauliflower rice is just a knockout. 407 00:16:02,622 --> 00:16:04,255 I'm so glad you go like it. 408 00:16:04,257 --> 00:16:07,424 - Is is my Grandma Tonita's recipe. - Oh. 409 00:16:07,426 --> 00:16:10,561 My wife was a... was a great cook. She was a very 410 00:16:10,563 --> 00:16:11,929 formal woman. She always... 411 00:16:11,931 --> 00:16:14,898 - always dressed for dinner. - (stomach growling) 412 00:16:14,900 --> 00:16:17,334 She, uh... she recently passed. 413 00:16:17,336 --> 00:16:19,636 - I think I need to go to the pie table. - Huh. 414 00:16:19,638 --> 00:16:21,538 - JOHN: Tim. - Oh. 415 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:24,675 - I was... - Oh, I'm... I'm so sorry. 416 00:16:24,677 --> 00:16:25,876 GREG: Wow. 417 00:16:25,878 --> 00:16:28,278 - (groans softly) - What was that? 418 00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,581 - (exhales) - That was so rude. 419 00:16:30,583 --> 00:16:32,549 (groans softly) Trust me, what I was about to do at that table 420 00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:34,484 was gonna be a lot ruder and a lot louder. 421 00:16:34,486 --> 00:16:36,286 You can really tell when it's gonna come out barking. 422 00:16:36,288 --> 00:16:38,689 Gross. Can we please get through one meal where you... ? 423 00:16:38,691 --> 00:16:40,457 Oh. Ooh. (stomach growling) 424 00:16:40,459 --> 00:16:42,059 (gasps softly) 425 00:16:42,061 --> 00:16:45,128 Great. Now you've given it to me. 426 00:16:45,130 --> 00:16:47,464 Shh. 427 00:16:48,232 --> 00:16:52,068 (stomach growling) 428 00:16:52,070 --> 00:16:54,304 I'm gonna go, uh, change the baby's, 429 00:16:54,306 --> 00:16:56,306 uh, diaper in the other room. 430 00:16:56,308 --> 00:16:58,441 Oh, I just changed her. She's fine. 431 00:16:58,443 --> 00:17:00,510 Yeah, but I'm not so I'm gonna go change 432 00:17:00,512 --> 00:17:02,779 the baby's diaper in the other room. 433 00:17:02,781 --> 00:17:04,848 Oh, no. Is this our wedding night all over again? 434 00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:07,784 Yeah, yeah, but I'm gonna try not to cry. 435 00:17:07,786 --> 00:17:09,753 (sighs) 436 00:17:09,755 --> 00:17:12,489 Was that you or me? 437 00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,824 I don't know, 438 00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:17,594 but I'm worried about whichever one of us it was. 439 00:17:17,596 --> 00:17:19,395 COLLEEN: Uh-oh. 440 00:17:19,397 --> 00:17:21,264 - I was afraid this might happen. - What's that? 441 00:17:21,266 --> 00:17:24,833 My cauliflower rice is delicious, but sometimes it's a little more 442 00:17:24,953 --> 00:17:26,302 - than some people can handle. - Mm-hmm. 443 00:17:26,304 --> 00:17:28,438 (stomachs growling) 444 00:17:29,773 --> 00:17:31,612 Hi, guys. How you doing? Is your dinner good? 445 00:17:31,732 --> 00:17:32,857 - Yeah, Heather. - That's great. That's awesome. 446 00:17:32,977 --> 00:17:33,739 That's good. 447 00:17:35,833 --> 00:17:37,947 I'm gonna just... go have some... 448 00:17:39,249 --> 00:17:40,379 What was that all about? 449 00:17:40,423 --> 00:17:41,548 Gross, Tyler! 450 00:17:41,592 --> 00:17:43,416 - That wasn't me. - TIM: Hey, guys. 451 00:17:43,536 --> 00:17:44,968 - Oh, hey. - How's it going over here? 452 00:17:45,088 --> 00:17:46,756 - Oh, boy. - How's your dinner? Just... 453 00:17:46,758 --> 00:17:48,791 (strained): checking in on you. 454 00:17:48,793 --> 00:17:50,787 All right, good. 455 00:17:51,140 --> 00:17:55,031 (coughs) Aw. I better not get pinkeye. 456 00:17:57,730 --> 00:18:00,936 You know, maybe now would be a good time to go around the table 457 00:18:01,315 --> 00:18:04,209 and for each person to say what they're thankful for, 458 00:18:04,329 --> 00:18:05,151 for this year. 459 00:18:05,179 --> 00:18:07,045 Honey, do you want to stand? 460 00:18:07,047 --> 00:18:08,747 Oh, I'm not... I'm, um... 461 00:18:08,749 --> 00:18:11,883 - I got a really good seal going here. - Oh, sit. 462 00:18:11,885 --> 00:18:14,419 - Oh, absolutely sit. - JOHN: Yeah. Anyway, 463 00:18:14,421 --> 00:18:17,022 great life, great family. 464 00:18:17,024 --> 00:18:20,285 Got some new boat shoes I'm really excited about. 465 00:18:21,149 --> 00:18:22,694 Amen. Tim? 466 00:18:22,696 --> 00:18:26,209 Uh, family, new friends, and a nice walk home in the fresh air. 467 00:18:26,329 --> 00:18:27,654 - Greg? - Come back to me. 468 00:18:27,774 --> 00:18:28,342 COLLEEN: Oh, I'll go. 469 00:18:28,386 --> 00:18:29,768 - Oh, no, no. No, baby. - I'm really thankful to be... 470 00:18:29,770 --> 00:18:30,969 No, no, no, no, no, time is pain. 471 00:18:30,971 --> 00:18:32,604 Yeah, that about covers everybody. 472 00:18:32,606 --> 00:18:35,331 Great meal, guys. See you again next year, huh? 473 00:18:35,333 --> 00:18:37,364 (loud, overlapping chatter) 474 00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,422 Excuse me... 475 00:18:38,542 --> 00:18:41,323 I would,I-I-I, I would like to say a few words 476 00:18:41,325 --> 00:18:42,657 - if you don't mind. - Oh. 477 00:18:42,659 --> 00:18:45,764 - Oh. - You know, this is my... 478 00:18:45,766 --> 00:18:48,066 This is my first Thanksgiving without Helen. 479 00:18:48,068 --> 00:18:49,768 - Oh. - You know, she was my... 480 00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:51,503 - my one and only. - Mm-hmm. 481 00:18:51,505 --> 00:18:53,171 I re... I really miss her. 482 00:18:53,173 --> 00:18:55,039 I miss her, too. I miss her so much. 483 00:18:55,041 --> 00:18:57,342 - JEN: Wish she were back! - COLLEEN: To Helen. 484 00:18:57,344 --> 00:18:58,710 - Gone too soon. Gone too soon. - Helen. 485 00:18:58,712 --> 00:19:00,545 - Way too soon. - Yes, thank you. 486 00:19:00,547 --> 00:19:02,881 - But, you know, perhaps the best way to... - (throat clearing) 487 00:19:02,883 --> 00:19:07,252 to honor her memory would be a moment of silence. 488 00:19:07,254 --> 00:19:09,687 - HEATHER: Oh. - She loved... silence. 489 00:19:09,689 --> 00:19:12,557 (groans) 490 00:19:12,559 --> 00:19:14,992 - Okay. - (loud panting) 491 00:19:14,994 --> 00:19:17,395 Greg, be careful. 492 00:19:17,397 --> 00:19:19,430 That's what makes the baby come out. 493 00:19:19,432 --> 00:19:21,499 (muffled laughter) 494 00:19:21,501 --> 00:19:22,500 Oh. 495 00:19:22,502 --> 00:19:23,701 (throat clearing) 496 00:19:23,703 --> 00:19:25,036 - Stop. - I think I'm crowning. 497 00:19:25,038 --> 00:19:28,206 (laughter) 498 00:19:33,707 --> 00:19:37,268 You are the most insensitive family I have ever met. 499 00:19:37,304 --> 00:19:38,141 No, no. 500 00:19:38,176 --> 00:19:41,170 - You are laughing at a grieving man. - I'm not, I'm not, I'm really trying... 501 00:19:41,196 --> 00:19:41,986 (overlapping chatter) GARY: Oh, come on. 502 00:19:41,988 --> 00:19:43,849 I mean, you're mocking my loss. 503 00:19:43,969 --> 00:19:46,957 No. No, no, no, it's not that. 504 00:19:46,959 --> 00:19:48,292 - That's it. - It's not that at all. 505 00:19:48,294 --> 00:19:49,693 Your son 506 00:19:49,695 --> 00:19:51,328 needs to be out of that garage 507 00:19:51,330 --> 00:19:53,431 by the end of the week, or you'll be fined. 508 00:19:53,433 --> 00:19:54,552 Don't-don't do that. 509 00:19:54,597 --> 00:19:55,615 And I want to thank you 510 00:19:55,735 --> 00:19:59,537 for one very... uncomfortable evening. 511 00:19:59,539 --> 00:20:02,439 (farts loudly) 512 00:20:04,196 --> 00:20:05,643 Well, I bet he's comfortable now. 513 00:20:05,645 --> 00:20:09,213 (laughter) 514 00:20:11,182 --> 00:20:14,718 (indistinct, overlapping chatter) 515 00:20:15,305 --> 00:20:16,820 All right, Matt can stay in the garage. 516 00:20:16,822 --> 00:20:18,555 JOAN: Thank you. 517 00:20:18,557 --> 00:20:20,591 But if there are any more infractions, 518 00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:21,892 I'm gonna have to report you. 519 00:20:21,894 --> 00:20:22,823 (gobbling) 520 00:20:23,476 --> 00:20:24,313 Oh. 521 00:20:25,098 --> 00:20:28,198 (gobbling) 522 00:20:28,644 --> 00:20:31,534 Oh, well, that explains the smell. 523 00:20:35,058 --> 00:20:40,058 Synced and corrected by Octavia - www.addic7ed.com - 524 00:20:40,108 --> 00:20:44,658 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37359

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