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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,478 --> 00:00:03,788 - Thank you very much, everyone. Good night. - Steve: Good job, Jim! 2 00:00:03,856 --> 00:00:05,560 Man: All right. That was Jim Jefferies, guys. 3 00:00:05,628 --> 00:00:06,899 That was, uh, interesting. 4 00:00:06,967 --> 00:00:08,471 All right. Well, that sucked. 5 00:00:08,541 --> 00:00:10,108 Mike, you told me to work clean! 6 00:00:10,176 --> 00:00:11,946 I said do your act. Just take out the dirty stuff. 7 00:00:12,014 --> 00:00:14,082 This is a network television showcase. 8 00:00:14,149 --> 00:00:16,079 They need to know you can work clean. 9 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,245 Mike, do you even watch what I do? 10 00:00:17,313 --> 00:00:18,683 The first two minutes of my show 11 00:00:18,751 --> 00:00:19,886 involves the words "Cock, shit, pussy, balls." 12 00:00:19,954 --> 00:00:22,191 Okay, so say "Penis" and "Poo." 13 00:00:22,258 --> 00:00:23,790 "Balls" are also legal in the right context, 14 00:00:23,857 --> 00:00:25,893 - as is "Snatch." - I can say "snatch"? 15 00:00:25,960 --> 00:00:27,463 - Man: Please welcome... - Maybe not, no. 16 00:00:27,531 --> 00:00:29,366 - I can't say "Poo." - Why? 17 00:00:29,433 --> 00:00:32,067 Because it's juvenile to say "Poo," you big poo. 18 00:00:32,135 --> 00:00:34,708 No. I-I just don't think I'm built for this. 19 00:00:34,776 --> 00:00:36,242 It wasn't until I was 19 till I realized 20 00:00:36,309 --> 00:00:38,043 that I had to do a whole thing, like, shaving... 21 00:00:38,111 --> 00:00:40,551 Look at her. She's doing great, and she's working clean. 22 00:00:40,618 --> 00:00:42,454 Really don't care about it, so... 23 00:00:42,522 --> 00:00:44,624 - Good job. - Suck a dick, Steve. 24 00:00:44,691 --> 00:00:46,091 I think they were afraid to laugh 25 00:00:46,159 --> 00:00:47,525 because they didn't want to miss the next joke. 26 00:00:47,593 --> 00:00:49,060 That's why they weren't laughing. 27 00:00:49,128 --> 00:00:50,899 Corrinne: Kkk, white. It's not... 28 00:00:50,967 --> 00:00:52,701 Ah, bullshit. It sucked. Why didn't you do your good stuff? 29 00:00:52,769 --> 00:00:54,369 It was my good stuff without swearing. 30 00:00:54,437 --> 00:00:56,139 [Scoffs] You can't work clean. 31 00:00:56,207 --> 00:00:58,312 - I just found that out, didn't I? Thank you. - Oh, my God. 32 00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:00,247 Not only do I have to lose weight in my arms, my thighs, 33 00:01:00,314 --> 00:01:01,883 and my legs, now I have to lose five pounds in my vagina. 34 00:01:01,951 --> 00:01:04,453 [Laughter] 35 00:01:04,521 --> 00:01:06,961 - Now, she knows how to work clean. - Yeah. 36 00:01:07,028 --> 00:01:08,195 - [Laughs] - Peggy: Hey. 37 00:01:08,263 --> 00:01:10,029 - Jim & Steve: Hey. - Billy: Hey! 38 00:01:10,097 --> 00:01:11,700 - Peggy. You come to see me. Th... - No, I was just... 39 00:01:11,767 --> 00:01:13,503 I just got here. Hi. 40 00:01:13,571 --> 00:01:15,706 - Billy: Hi, Peg. - How are you? 41 00:01:15,774 --> 00:01:19,014 - Hi. You look pretty. - Thanks. 42 00:01:19,082 --> 00:01:20,951 Jim, I'm really sorry about that whole "Loveline" thing. 43 00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:22,821 No, I understand you're upset we broke up. 44 00:01:22,888 --> 00:01:24,557 It takes a lot to get over a relation... 45 00:01:24,625 --> 00:01:26,127 - Hey, baby. Hey. - Hi. 46 00:01:26,194 --> 00:01:27,260 Bob Saget. 47 00:01:27,328 --> 00:01:28,695 Billy, that's Bob Saget. 48 00:01:28,762 --> 00:01:30,498 I'm not an idiot. 49 00:01:30,565 --> 00:01:32,769 - [Chuckles] - Man: No one's ever told you... 50 00:01:32,837 --> 00:01:34,336 Um, Bob, do you know Jim? 51 00:01:34,404 --> 00:01:37,139 Uh, no. No. Uh, nice to meet you. 52 00:01:37,207 --> 00:01:39,377 - Hey. Jim. - And this is Billy and Steve. 53 00:01:39,444 --> 00:01:41,010 I-I-I'm a big fan. 54 00:01:41,078 --> 00:01:42,445 - Uh... Mnh-mnh. - Bob: Oh, thanks. 55 00:01:42,513 --> 00:01:44,650 Hi, Bob Saget. Hey, shake his hand for me. 56 00:01:44,717 --> 00:01:46,419 Steve: He can't shake, so... 57 00:01:46,486 --> 00:01:47,719 That's cool. I don't want to touch him anyway. 58 00:01:47,787 --> 00:01:49,087 [Laughter] 59 00:01:49,155 --> 00:01:51,125 That's not a joke. He's disabled. 60 00:01:51,192 --> 00:01:53,261 Um, Jim is also a comedian. 61 00:01:53,329 --> 00:01:54,762 Oh, really? 62 00:01:54,830 --> 00:01:56,598 No, I used to, uh, date, uh... 63 00:01:56,666 --> 00:01:59,236 I was just up there. 64 00:01:59,303 --> 00:02:00,839 So, these executives 65 00:02:00,907 --> 00:02:02,540 are making you play clean, as well, huh? 66 00:02:02,608 --> 00:02:04,542 Me? [Chuckles] N-No. 67 00:02:04,609 --> 00:02:06,978 No, I just come in here and crush it and make them laugh, 68 00:02:07,046 --> 00:02:08,548 and that's what I do. 69 00:02:08,617 --> 00:02:09,818 - Of course you do. Right. - Yeah, he does. 70 00:02:09,886 --> 00:02:11,688 Bob: That's right. It was nice to meet you. 71 00:02:11,755 --> 00:02:13,489 - Jim, right? - Jim. Yeah. 72 00:02:13,557 --> 00:02:14,758 - See you soon, babe. - Bye. - Oh. 73 00:02:14,826 --> 00:02:16,493 Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Saget. 74 00:02:16,561 --> 00:02:18,732 [Cheers and applause] 75 00:02:18,799 --> 00:02:22,169 Billy: Bob Saget! I know Bob Saget! 76 00:02:22,237 --> 00:02:23,940 Bob: Thank you very much. 77 00:02:24,008 --> 00:02:25,308 Let's hear it for the very short person 78 00:02:25,376 --> 00:02:26,676 - that I don't care to know. - Come on. 79 00:02:26,744 --> 00:02:28,378 W-Why don't you go over there and gush? 80 00:02:28,445 --> 00:02:29,847 - That's Bob Saget. Let's go watch. - Let's go. 81 00:02:29,914 --> 00:02:33,015 - Enjoy yourselves. - [Laughter] 82 00:02:33,083 --> 00:02:34,917 Peggy's a gag hag with Bob Saget. 83 00:02:34,985 --> 00:02:38,087 Now, I see that you have some problems, and I appreciate it, 84 00:02:38,155 --> 00:02:39,656 'cause I support anybody 85 00:02:39,723 --> 00:02:41,123 that... that craps their pants all the time. 86 00:02:41,191 --> 00:02:42,791 [Laughter] 87 00:02:42,859 --> 00:02:44,527 - That wasn't a joke. - Good set. 88 00:02:44,594 --> 00:02:46,829 Bob: That's a really good joke from the old days. 89 00:02:46,897 --> 00:02:48,230 Oh, thank you. 90 00:02:48,298 --> 00:02:49,331 You know who you are. 91 00:02:49,399 --> 00:02:52,703 Angela! Hey. 92 00:02:52,771 --> 00:02:54,871 Did you see Corrinne tonight, huh? 93 00:02:54,939 --> 00:02:56,173 Really funny. 94 00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:58,376 - I like this guy. - This guy? 95 00:02:58,444 --> 00:03:00,079 Yeah, this guy! Everybody loves Jim. 96 00:03:00,147 --> 00:03:01,714 He killed it tonight. 97 00:03:01,781 --> 00:03:03,849 - Angela McKinnon. - G'day. Jim Jefferies. 98 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:07,755 Why don't you come to my office sometime and we can talk? 99 00:03:07,823 --> 00:03:10,622 What we'll do is we'll see if we can squeeze him in next week. 100 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,258 Jim is really busy. He's in... 101 00:03:12,326 --> 00:03:14,330 Why don't you let him answer? 102 00:03:14,398 --> 00:03:15,932 I would love to, anytime you want. 103 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:19,236 Good answer. Okay. Make it soon. 104 00:03:19,304 --> 00:03:20,338 Okay, Mike? 105 00:03:20,405 --> 00:03:22,674 You got it. 106 00:03:22,742 --> 00:03:26,312 Okay. Australians don't high-five. Who was that? 107 00:03:26,380 --> 00:03:28,217 Only the biggest comedy exec in town. 108 00:03:28,284 --> 00:03:29,852 This is huge, man. 109 00:03:29,920 --> 00:03:31,852 I don't know how you did it, but you did it. 110 00:03:31,920 --> 00:03:34,589 Now, I got to roll. Jamie Foxx is here. 111 00:03:34,657 --> 00:03:35,590 - Man: Bob Saget! - Thanks, Mike. 112 00:03:35,658 --> 00:03:37,024 - [Applause] - Yeah! 113 00:03:37,091 --> 00:03:38,390 Man: Whoo! 114 00:03:38,458 --> 00:03:40,057 - Man: Way to go, Bob. - Thanks. 115 00:03:40,125 --> 00:03:41,659 Hey. Great set, Bob. 116 00:03:41,726 --> 00:03:44,096 Oh, thanks, man. So, you know Angela? 117 00:03:44,163 --> 00:03:46,230 We just met. 118 00:03:46,298 --> 00:03:48,866 Welcome to show business. 119 00:03:48,934 --> 00:03:50,901 [Chuckles] 120 00:03:50,969 --> 00:03:52,201 Peggy: Bye, Jim. 121 00:03:52,269 --> 00:03:54,104 Bye. 122 00:03:54,172 --> 00:03:57,476 "Welcome to show business." 123 00:03:57,544 --> 00:03:59,243 Bob Saget. 124 00:04:00,623 --> 00:04:03,190 I get it. You're jealous. It's just like Todd. 125 00:04:03,258 --> 00:04:04,826 - Oh, my God. - Jim: It's not like Todd. 126 00:04:04,893 --> 00:04:06,394 Turn. 127 00:04:06,462 --> 00:04:08,564 I'd be all right if Peggy was dating someone, 128 00:04:08,631 --> 00:04:10,400 you know, lower. Just... 129 00:04:10,467 --> 00:04:11,535 Turn. 130 00:04:11,602 --> 00:04:13,840 Someone less successful. 131 00:04:13,907 --> 00:04:15,407 In the comedy world, they're called "Gag Hags." 132 00:04:15,475 --> 00:04:17,209 - Nice. - Turn. - Yeah, you know, like, 133 00:04:17,277 --> 00:04:18,545 when you first start dating a girl, 134 00:04:18,613 --> 00:04:20,481 they're not even into comedy, right? 135 00:04:20,549 --> 00:04:22,183 And then you break up with them, 136 00:04:22,251 --> 00:04:24,353 and all they seem to do is date bloody comedians. 137 00:04:24,421 --> 00:04:25,889 What if he's better-looking than you? 138 00:04:25,956 --> 00:04:27,157 - That's fine. - Better car? 139 00:04:27,225 --> 00:04:28,692 It's fine. 140 00:04:28,760 --> 00:04:29,994 - Richer? - Totally cool. 141 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:31,730 Funnier? 142 00:04:31,798 --> 00:04:34,399 No, not... not funnier. 143 00:04:34,467 --> 00:04:35,898 More famous. 144 00:04:35,966 --> 00:04:37,932 Right. Don't they kind of go hand in hand? 145 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,234 No, they don't go hand in hand! 146 00:04:39,302 --> 00:04:40,803 Some people get overlooked. 147 00:04:40,871 --> 00:04:42,371 Like men don't date up? 148 00:04:42,439 --> 00:04:44,041 I don't know. Saget is pretty funny. 149 00:04:44,108 --> 00:04:45,475 - [Cellphone vibrating] - You're not helping, Billy. 150 00:04:45,543 --> 00:04:48,043 This conversation is ridiculous. 151 00:04:48,111 --> 00:04:49,344 Hello? 152 00:04:49,412 --> 00:04:50,545 - Mike: Jimmy J.! - Hi, Mike. 153 00:04:50,613 --> 00:04:52,282 Hey, so how is Tuesday 154 00:04:52,350 --> 00:04:56,249 at, um... Uh... 10:00 A.M.? 155 00:04:56,316 --> 00:04:58,650 Yeah, sure. Sure. Wait. What's this all about? 156 00:04:58,718 --> 00:05:00,619 Meeting with Angela. General meeting. 157 00:05:00,687 --> 00:05:02,421 She just wants to get to know you, see what you're all about. 158 00:05:02,488 --> 00:05:04,154 Okay. 159 00:05:04,221 --> 00:05:05,420 Mike? 160 00:05:05,488 --> 00:05:06,988 Yeah, Jim? 161 00:05:07,056 --> 00:05:09,324 What am I all about? 162 00:05:09,392 --> 00:05:13,196 You are all about making her happy. 163 00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:15,834 - That's what you're all about. - Okay. 164 00:05:15,902 --> 00:05:18,337 All right. I got to take this call. Love you, man. 165 00:05:18,405 --> 00:05:21,105 A really big executive wants to have a meeting with me. 166 00:05:21,173 --> 00:05:22,708 Really? Off that set? 167 00:05:22,776 --> 00:05:24,712 Yeah. 168 00:05:27,750 --> 00:05:28,951 Uh, water? 169 00:05:29,019 --> 00:05:30,218 Ah, no, I'm fine. Thank you. 170 00:05:30,286 --> 00:05:31,419 You sure? 171 00:05:31,487 --> 00:05:33,518 - Yeah. Thanks. - Okay. 172 00:05:33,586 --> 00:05:35,156 - Hey. - Hi. Jim Jefferies. 173 00:05:35,224 --> 00:05:36,491 Mm. 174 00:05:36,558 --> 00:05:38,024 Thank you so much for having me. 175 00:05:38,091 --> 00:05:39,157 Oh, please. 176 00:05:39,225 --> 00:05:41,559 So, where in England are you from? 177 00:05:41,627 --> 00:05:43,464 Oh, no. I'm, uh... I'm Australian. 178 00:05:43,531 --> 00:05:45,835 You know what? That is so much better. 179 00:05:45,903 --> 00:05:50,271 I just... British actors are so... 180 00:05:50,338 --> 00:05:51,639 girly. 181 00:05:51,708 --> 00:05:53,310 You know what I mean? 182 00:05:53,377 --> 00:05:56,981 Australian men... now, those are real men, right? 183 00:05:57,049 --> 00:05:59,950 Look, Russell Crowe? 184 00:06:00,018 --> 00:06:01,451 That's a real guy. 185 00:06:01,519 --> 00:06:03,353 So... 186 00:06:03,421 --> 00:06:06,722 What is Jim about? 187 00:06:06,790 --> 00:06:09,226 Okay. Well, I love stand-up. 188 00:06:09,294 --> 00:06:11,727 I would also like to be in movies. 189 00:06:11,795 --> 00:06:13,896 I'd like to be in television. I can write. 190 00:06:13,964 --> 00:06:15,598 What have you written? 191 00:06:15,666 --> 00:06:17,367 Oh, I've written heaps of stuff. 192 00:06:17,435 --> 00:06:19,338 - I've, uh, written my stand-up... - Mm-hmm. 193 00:06:19,406 --> 00:06:20,607 And, um, other stuff. 194 00:06:20,675 --> 00:06:23,844 - And, uh, can you act? - Yes. 195 00:06:23,912 --> 00:06:25,747 Have you been in anything? 196 00:06:25,815 --> 00:06:27,616 Not yet. 197 00:06:27,684 --> 00:06:29,683 Well, don't worry about that. Acting is easy. 198 00:06:29,751 --> 00:06:32,152 What you need is a good look. 199 00:06:32,220 --> 00:06:34,056 - Have I got a good look? - Not at all. 200 00:06:34,124 --> 00:06:35,592 But that just means you might have to work 201 00:06:35,660 --> 00:06:37,663 a little bit harder than some of the others. 202 00:06:37,730 --> 00:06:39,031 [Sighs] Yep. 203 00:06:39,098 --> 00:06:40,567 Are you a hard worker? 204 00:06:40,634 --> 00:06:42,003 That I am, yes. 205 00:06:42,071 --> 00:06:45,809 Are you willing to go that extra mile? 206 00:06:45,877 --> 00:06:47,109 Absolutely. 207 00:06:47,177 --> 00:06:49,245 That is great. 208 00:06:49,312 --> 00:06:51,181 - One more thing. - Anything. 209 00:06:51,249 --> 00:06:52,953 Good answer. 210 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,157 [Breathes deeply] 211 00:06:57,527 --> 00:06:59,729 [Sighs] 212 00:07:01,133 --> 00:07:03,003 Lick my pussy. 213 00:07:06,107 --> 00:07:08,474 Y... Uh... You... W-W-What now? 214 00:07:08,542 --> 00:07:10,042 You heard me. 215 00:07:10,110 --> 00:07:11,843 Y... Um, you want me to lick your... What? 216 00:07:11,911 --> 00:07:14,312 Yes. 217 00:07:14,379 --> 00:07:16,113 Um, I... 218 00:07:16,181 --> 00:07:20,719 Uh, I would rather get a job on my merits. 219 00:07:20,787 --> 00:07:24,624 [Laughs] 220 00:07:24,691 --> 00:07:27,225 Well, everyone in Hollywood thinks they have merits. 221 00:07:27,293 --> 00:07:30,661 Look, I just told you acting is easy. 222 00:07:30,729 --> 00:07:32,062 That's why everybody wants to do it. 223 00:07:32,130 --> 00:07:35,131 I mean, there was literally like 17, 18 guys 224 00:07:35,199 --> 00:07:38,033 could've played Chandler on "Friends," right? 225 00:07:38,101 --> 00:07:39,635 - Mm-hmm. - But Matthew Perry, 226 00:07:39,702 --> 00:07:42,571 he did something that none of the others did. 227 00:07:42,639 --> 00:07:44,306 Licked your pussy. 228 00:07:44,374 --> 00:07:46,475 Like a champ, may I add. 229 00:07:46,542 --> 00:07:48,075 Like a champ. 230 00:07:48,143 --> 00:07:51,245 Here's how to think of it that might make it easier. 231 00:07:51,313 --> 00:07:55,884 Think of this as a tunnel to stardom. 232 00:07:55,952 --> 00:07:57,486 - Tunnel? - You know what I mean. 233 00:07:57,554 --> 00:08:00,458 So, like, are you willing to get in there 234 00:08:00,526 --> 00:08:03,231 and burrow, burrow, burrow 235 00:08:03,298 --> 00:08:06,598 up to the... limelight, stardom? 236 00:08:06,666 --> 00:08:08,434 [Groans] 237 00:08:08,501 --> 00:08:11,205 So, Jim... 238 00:08:11,273 --> 00:08:12,806 What are you gonna do? 239 00:08:15,543 --> 00:08:17,378 I'm gonna lick your pussy. 240 00:08:17,445 --> 00:08:18,879 That's right. 241 00:08:18,947 --> 00:08:21,181 Uh... Now, how do we do this? 242 00:08:21,249 --> 00:08:23,150 Do we [Inhales sharply] uh, schedule it? 243 00:08:23,218 --> 00:08:25,252 Do we get a... Do I talk to the young man out there...? 244 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:28,020 Actually, I'm pretty busy, so you just do it right now. 245 00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:29,787 Right. Mm-hmm. D-did you have to do this 246 00:08:29,855 --> 00:08:31,188 when you got into the industry? 247 00:08:31,255 --> 00:08:32,455 No, I'm a woman. 248 00:08:32,523 --> 00:08:33,991 So, right now? 249 00:08:34,058 --> 00:08:35,791 Unfortunately, I do have an appointment 250 00:08:35,859 --> 00:08:37,092 in about 15 minutes, so... 251 00:08:37,160 --> 00:08:38,927 Okay. 252 00:08:41,095 --> 00:08:43,096 [Door opens] 253 00:08:43,164 --> 00:08:45,934 Angela: Have a nice day! 254 00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:54,336 Mike: Jimmy J., how'd it go? 255 00:08:54,404 --> 00:08:58,414 Um... I think it went good. 256 00:08:58,482 --> 00:09:00,618 All right, well, I will put in a call, 257 00:09:00,686 --> 00:09:02,921 - and I'll let you know how it went. - No. No, no, no, Mike. 258 00:09:02,989 --> 00:09:04,556 No, I-I don't want to meet with her again. 259 00:09:04,624 --> 00:09:05,923 Why? What happened? 260 00:09:05,990 --> 00:09:08,422 She made me lick her pussy. 261 00:09:09,826 --> 00:09:11,094 You there? Mike, you there? 262 00:09:11,161 --> 00:09:12,760 Yeah, yeah, yeah. I heard you. I heard you. 263 00:09:12,828 --> 00:09:15,161 - Heard you. - Mike? 264 00:09:15,229 --> 00:09:16,464 You okay? 265 00:09:16,532 --> 00:09:18,199 Yeah, I... 266 00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:19,833 I'm okay. 267 00:09:19,901 --> 00:09:21,767 But I'm gonna get parts now, right? 268 00:09:21,835 --> 00:09:24,268 - [Telephone beeps] - It's Angela on 2. 269 00:09:24,336 --> 00:09:26,036 Yeah, hey, Jimmy, that's her on the other line. 270 00:09:26,104 --> 00:09:27,738 Hold on. Don't go anywhere, okay? 271 00:09:27,806 --> 00:09:32,608 [Orchestral music plays] 272 00:09:32,676 --> 00:09:34,510 Jim? 273 00:09:34,578 --> 00:09:38,049 She said you didn't do a good job. 274 00:09:38,117 --> 00:09:40,648 What?! I... 275 00:09:40,716 --> 00:09:42,184 I did a good job! 276 00:09:42,252 --> 00:09:44,388 Did she cum? 277 00:09:44,455 --> 00:09:46,656 Did she say she didn't cum? 278 00:09:46,724 --> 00:09:48,290 No, she just said it was a bad meeting. 279 00:09:50,527 --> 00:09:52,529 I went in there, and I did my very best. 280 00:09:52,596 --> 00:09:54,197 I was down there for 15 minutes. 281 00:09:54,264 --> 00:09:56,932 That's more than anyone should be expected to do that. 282 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,033 She kept on saying, "I've got another meeting, I've got another meeting," 283 00:09:59,101 --> 00:10:01,333 so I tried to hurry it along as much as I could. 284 00:10:01,401 --> 00:10:02,936 I was on a hardwood floor, Mike! 285 00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:04,372 My knees are killing me! 286 00:10:04,440 --> 00:10:06,242 I was sober. 287 00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:07,743 What happened? 288 00:10:07,811 --> 00:10:09,442 I thought I should stop when her assistant rang. 289 00:10:09,510 --> 00:10:11,109 Her assistant came in? 290 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:13,145 Like, you guys all, or just the two of you? 291 00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:15,751 - No. - All right, well, what did she say? 292 00:10:15,818 --> 00:10:19,186 Um... She said it was good. 293 00:10:19,254 --> 00:10:21,054 Did she use the word "Good," 294 00:10:21,122 --> 00:10:22,654 or did she say, [Enthusiastically] "It was good"? 295 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:24,554 She said "Good," Mike. 296 00:10:24,621 --> 00:10:28,056 Great is good, awesome is great, but good is always bad. 297 00:10:28,124 --> 00:10:30,355 Well, I-I did my best. 298 00:10:30,423 --> 00:10:32,457 Here's the good news. She said she'll meet with you again. 299 00:10:32,524 --> 00:10:34,659 How is this good news? 300 00:10:34,727 --> 00:10:38,666 Now you know what to expect, right? Are you up for that? 301 00:10:38,734 --> 00:10:40,899 I didn't have a lot of time to prepare. 302 00:10:40,966 --> 00:10:42,499 Well, then I guess you better prepare. 303 00:10:42,567 --> 00:10:44,033 I don't know what you have to do. 304 00:10:44,101 --> 00:10:45,401 Put your tongue on bed rest. 305 00:10:45,469 --> 00:10:47,070 Eat a life saver from inside out. 306 00:10:47,138 --> 00:10:48,839 Whatever it is, do it, man! 307 00:10:50,574 --> 00:10:52,476 What's she looking for? 308 00:10:52,544 --> 00:10:55,649 An orgasm, Jim! She's looking for an orgasm! 309 00:10:55,717 --> 00:10:58,383 Jesus! Put your head into this! 310 00:10:58,450 --> 00:11:00,517 I'm not sure I can do that again, Mike. 311 00:11:00,584 --> 00:11:04,022 Do you know how many miles of dick 312 00:11:04,089 --> 00:11:06,823 that have been sucked in this town by actresses? 313 00:11:06,891 --> 00:11:08,725 Well, it's a woman's world now. 314 00:11:08,793 --> 00:11:11,631 The tables have turned, so you're just gonna have to deal with it. 315 00:11:14,769 --> 00:11:16,969 [Sighs] 316 00:11:17,036 --> 00:11:19,768 Hey, uh, how was your meeting? 317 00:11:21,904 --> 00:11:23,136 Strange. 318 00:11:23,204 --> 00:11:25,339 Strange? How? 319 00:11:25,406 --> 00:11:27,976 I came in there, and then she, uh, 320 00:11:28,044 --> 00:11:30,245 wanted me to make her, uh... 321 00:11:30,313 --> 00:11:32,380 Make her...? 322 00:11:32,448 --> 00:11:34,215 Cum. Wanted me to make her cum. 323 00:11:34,282 --> 00:11:35,682 - Awesome. - No. 324 00:11:35,749 --> 00:11:37,117 What's her name? 325 00:11:37,185 --> 00:11:39,454 - Angela McKinnon. - Wait. Wait. Wait. 326 00:11:39,522 --> 00:11:41,988 So, she wanted you to sleep with her? 327 00:11:42,056 --> 00:11:42,922 No. 328 00:11:44,459 --> 00:11:46,629 Oh. She wanted to blow you? 329 00:11:46,697 --> 00:11:47,764 Who cums from blowing me? 330 00:11:50,565 --> 00:11:53,167 She made me go down on her. 331 00:11:53,236 --> 00:11:55,539 - What? - That is great. 332 00:11:55,607 --> 00:11:58,374 [Gasps] Is this her? 333 00:11:58,442 --> 00:12:00,143 - Yes. - Yeah, that's not so great. 334 00:12:00,211 --> 00:12:03,116 [Both laugh] 335 00:12:03,183 --> 00:12:04,486 That is hilarious! 336 00:12:04,553 --> 00:12:05,788 Not really. 337 00:12:07,057 --> 00:12:09,057 How was it? [Laughs] 338 00:12:09,125 --> 00:12:10,058 Tart. 339 00:12:10,126 --> 00:12:12,463 [Laughter] 340 00:12:12,530 --> 00:12:14,999 Hallelujah! There is a God! 341 00:12:15,067 --> 00:12:17,633 You're being punished. 342 00:12:17,700 --> 00:12:19,167 - For what?! - This is so great! 343 00:12:19,234 --> 00:12:20,434 - [Cellphone ringing] - Oh, man. 344 00:12:20,502 --> 00:12:21,868 All right. Let's get out of here. 345 00:12:21,936 --> 00:12:23,235 Where are you guys gonna be later? 346 00:12:23,303 --> 00:12:25,203 Oh, we'll call you. 347 00:12:25,270 --> 00:12:26,569 Billy: Jim munched ancient carpet. 348 00:12:26,637 --> 00:12:27,903 [Laughter] 349 00:12:27,970 --> 00:12:29,433 Jimmy J.! Hey, man. 350 00:12:29,501 --> 00:12:31,602 You got your meeting tomorrow at 9:00 A.M. 351 00:12:31,670 --> 00:12:33,638 - Great. - Hey, Jimmy, listen. 352 00:12:33,706 --> 00:12:36,305 I could give this opportunity to any number of actors 353 00:12:36,372 --> 00:12:38,105 that would kill to have this chance. 354 00:12:38,173 --> 00:12:39,308 Opportunity? 355 00:12:39,375 --> 00:12:40,843 Yeah, Jimmy, it's huge. 356 00:12:40,911 --> 00:12:43,378 Oh, yeah. It's huge. 357 00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:45,448 Really? 358 00:12:45,516 --> 00:12:47,151 No, it is huge. 359 00:12:47,219 --> 00:12:50,186 Now I'm gonna have that image in my head all night. 360 00:12:50,253 --> 00:12:51,920 Thanks, pal. 361 00:12:53,589 --> 00:12:55,122 Jim, are you all right? 362 00:12:55,189 --> 00:12:56,553 [Sighs] 363 00:12:56,621 --> 00:12:58,687 My agent and your God are trying to punish me. 364 00:12:58,755 --> 00:13:01,392 [Chuckles] Jim, you know I love you, right? 365 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:05,031 But you really backed yourself into a corner with this one. 366 00:13:05,098 --> 00:13:06,632 What am I meant to do? 367 00:13:06,700 --> 00:13:09,001 - Have a compass. - What will that do? 368 00:13:09,069 --> 00:13:12,006 So you can know right from wrong. 369 00:13:12,073 --> 00:13:14,142 Okay, look, Jim, you really need to get this out of your head, 370 00:13:14,209 --> 00:13:15,441 so what do you do when you're stressed? 371 00:13:15,509 --> 00:13:16,675 Drink. 372 00:13:16,742 --> 00:13:19,045 Okay. We know how well that helps. 373 00:13:19,112 --> 00:13:21,383 - I also masturbate. - Oh, Jim. 374 00:13:21,450 --> 00:13:24,186 You really didn't learn anything at S.A.A., did you? 375 00:13:24,253 --> 00:13:25,887 No, it did make sex shameful. 376 00:13:25,954 --> 00:13:28,355 All right. How do you ground yourself? 377 00:13:31,462 --> 00:13:33,899 - I like telling jokes. - Well, all right, then. 378 00:13:33,966 --> 00:13:36,099 Why don't you go take your ass down to the club, 379 00:13:36,167 --> 00:13:39,472 do a set, and clear your head? 380 00:13:39,540 --> 00:13:42,776 Bob: It's nice to play to, uh, such a... full house... 381 00:13:42,843 --> 00:13:44,510 [Laughter] 382 00:13:44,577 --> 00:13:46,814 and full pants. 383 00:13:46,881 --> 00:13:49,250 Thank you so much. Have a great night. 384 00:13:49,318 --> 00:13:51,586 [Cheers and applause] 385 00:13:51,653 --> 00:13:54,655 Bob Saget! That was awesome! 386 00:13:54,723 --> 00:13:57,923 Oh... my... God. 387 00:13:57,991 --> 00:14:00,060 Hey, Jim. What are you doing here? 388 00:14:00,127 --> 00:14:01,361 Maybe I should ask you the same question. 389 00:14:01,429 --> 00:14:02,894 We were just, uh... 390 00:14:02,962 --> 00:14:04,859 - just... just... just... just... - Just what, Steve? 391 00:14:04,927 --> 00:14:06,660 - It was my fault, Jim. - Well, that's obvious. 392 00:14:06,728 --> 00:14:08,195 Okay. I wanted to see them. 393 00:14:08,264 --> 00:14:09,631 I wanted to play video games. 394 00:14:09,699 --> 00:14:11,099 How long has this been going on? 395 00:14:11,167 --> 00:14:13,465 We just went to a couple gigs. 396 00:14:13,533 --> 00:14:15,200 - A couple of gigs? - Yeah. 397 00:14:15,269 --> 00:14:18,405 The other day when you said you were out hitting golf balls... 398 00:14:18,473 --> 00:14:19,573 You were with her and him. 399 00:14:19,641 --> 00:14:21,042 Golf balls, Steve? 400 00:14:21,109 --> 00:14:22,744 It was a pressure-filled moment. 401 00:14:22,811 --> 00:14:24,078 I was afraid how he would react. 402 00:14:24,145 --> 00:14:25,345 And how would I react, Steve? 403 00:14:25,413 --> 00:14:26,580 Like this, Jim. 404 00:14:26,648 --> 00:14:28,849 I was worried you'd freak out. 405 00:14:28,917 --> 00:14:31,852 No, no. You're wrong. You're wrong. 406 00:14:31,919 --> 00:14:35,621 I'm not freaking out. Who's freaking out? Not me. 407 00:14:35,689 --> 00:14:38,489 [Sighs] I just don't feel like I can trust you right now. 408 00:14:38,556 --> 00:14:41,494 I just don't feel like we're connecting emo... 409 00:14:41,561 --> 00:14:43,898 I-I just don't want to talk to you. 410 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:45,099 - Oh, Jim, come on. - Jim. 411 00:14:45,167 --> 00:14:46,332 Oh, "Come on" what, Billy? 412 00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,407 I'm out there all day 413 00:14:50,474 --> 00:14:52,540 licking old ladies just to make ends meet. 414 00:14:52,608 --> 00:14:54,808 - What? - Yes. That's right, Peggy. 415 00:14:54,876 --> 00:14:57,516 That's where my career's at right now, licking old ladies' staches. 416 00:14:57,584 --> 00:15:01,155 And all I need is a little bit of understanding from you! 417 00:15:01,222 --> 00:15:02,688 I know, I'm... I'm sorry. Don't leave. 418 00:15:02,756 --> 00:15:06,093 Hey. How was Angela? 419 00:15:06,161 --> 00:15:08,030 Pungent. 420 00:15:09,661 --> 00:15:11,696 Hey, Jim. 421 00:15:11,763 --> 00:15:13,231 I have nothing to say to you two. 422 00:15:13,300 --> 00:15:15,336 Oh, come on, Jim. It was two gigs. 423 00:15:16,705 --> 00:15:17,671 It was three. 424 00:15:17,739 --> 00:15:18,939 Some honesty at last. 425 00:15:19,006 --> 00:15:20,607 Bob Saget's funny. 426 00:15:20,675 --> 00:15:22,110 - What, and I'm not? - No, no, you are funny. 427 00:15:22,178 --> 00:15:23,844 It's just that we've heard all your stories. 428 00:15:23,912 --> 00:15:25,444 You used to love my stories. 429 00:15:25,512 --> 00:15:26,745 Ramona: You guys are morons. 430 00:15:26,813 --> 00:15:28,314 What? Saget is funny. 431 00:15:28,382 --> 00:15:30,485 [Chuckling] This is not about Saget! 432 00:15:30,553 --> 00:15:33,557 Peggy is a beautiful, sweet woman. 433 00:15:33,624 --> 00:15:35,793 Of course she's gonna date up. That's what people do. 434 00:15:35,860 --> 00:15:38,095 Would you date a girl uglier after Peggy? 435 00:15:38,162 --> 00:15:39,762 Of course not. 436 00:15:39,830 --> 00:15:41,463 - Well, you have. - Billy, shut up. 437 00:15:41,530 --> 00:15:43,698 This is what I'm talking about. You objectify women. 438 00:15:43,765 --> 00:15:46,535 You call them shrimp or... or prawns 439 00:15:46,603 --> 00:15:48,969 and you talk about keeping the body and snapping off the head. 440 00:15:49,037 --> 00:15:50,670 - Mmm... - It's despicable! 441 00:15:50,738 --> 00:15:52,405 It's 'cause they got a good body and a bad head. 442 00:15:52,473 --> 00:15:53,873 - No! - You can still sleep with them. 443 00:15:53,941 --> 00:15:55,208 - You got to cover their face. - Jim! 444 00:15:55,276 --> 00:15:57,011 This is what women go through every day. 445 00:15:57,078 --> 00:16:00,213 What? Dating Bob Saget? 446 00:16:00,281 --> 00:16:01,781 This is not about Bob Saget! 447 00:16:01,849 --> 00:16:04,051 You guys just don't get it. 448 00:16:04,119 --> 00:16:07,221 Wow. I had no idea that's what it was like to be black. 449 00:16:07,288 --> 00:16:09,956 - Black. - No! Not black, you dumbasses! 450 00:16:10,024 --> 00:16:12,192 - A woman! - Billy: Okay. 451 00:16:12,259 --> 00:16:14,026 Jim is being objectified. 452 00:16:14,094 --> 00:16:15,994 Mm. 453 00:16:16,062 --> 00:16:17,597 Therefore, he's feeling insecure. 454 00:16:17,664 --> 00:16:19,531 It's true. 455 00:16:19,598 --> 00:16:21,263 He's being sexually harassed! 456 00:16:21,331 --> 00:16:22,497 She's right. 457 00:16:22,565 --> 00:16:23,698 Oh. 458 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,569 When you have a body like this, 459 00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:27,507 women don't think you have a mind. 460 00:16:27,574 --> 00:16:29,442 They don't see your inner beauty. 461 00:16:29,509 --> 00:16:32,443 - I'm a victim. - Yeah. 462 00:16:32,511 --> 00:16:35,879 But I got to do it again if I'm gonna get that job. 463 00:16:35,947 --> 00:16:36,946 - No. - I'm just gonna get stoned 464 00:16:37,014 --> 00:16:39,276 and imagine her pussy's a pizza. 465 00:16:39,344 --> 00:16:40,876 Jim! You don't ever have to do that again. 466 00:16:40,944 --> 00:16:42,573 I don't know. Really? 467 00:16:42,641 --> 00:16:45,242 You go in there, you tell her, "No way." 468 00:16:45,310 --> 00:16:47,947 Then you hit her with an idea that she can't refuse. 469 00:16:48,015 --> 00:16:50,080 That's a good idea. 470 00:16:50,148 --> 00:16:51,816 - That's something she'll respect. - Well... 471 00:16:51,884 --> 00:16:53,786 You go in there holding your head high, man. 472 00:16:53,854 --> 00:16:55,221 Don't go down low. 473 00:16:55,289 --> 00:16:56,855 Yeah. You can do it, Jim. 474 00:16:56,923 --> 00:16:59,252 I can do this. 475 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:02,623 I-I got... I got... millions of good ideas. 476 00:17:02,691 --> 00:17:04,588 Yeah, and if she doesn't like your ideas... 477 00:17:07,589 --> 00:17:09,391 - then you lick her pussy. - Yeah, I'll go down on her. 478 00:17:09,459 --> 00:17:10,460 - Just... - Easy. 479 00:17:10,528 --> 00:17:11,928 Morons. 480 00:17:13,495 --> 00:17:15,030 - Hey, Bob. - Hey, man. 481 00:17:16,567 --> 00:17:18,369 You hear Peggy's dating Louis C.K. now? 482 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,838 Yeah. Yeah, I heard that. 483 00:17:20,906 --> 00:17:22,171 Sorry to hear that, man. 484 00:17:22,238 --> 00:17:23,805 Tough, huh? When they date up. 485 00:17:23,873 --> 00:17:25,676 Yeah. 486 00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,348 I licked an executive's pussy. 487 00:17:32,415 --> 00:17:35,520 I did that once back in 1987, 488 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,923 and I got two hit shows out of it. 489 00:17:37,991 --> 00:17:39,825 And Angela was hot back then. 490 00:17:39,893 --> 00:17:42,661 Yeah. 491 00:17:42,729 --> 00:17:45,365 - Jim: Billy's in a wheelchair. He can't get laid. - Angela: [Laughs] 492 00:17:45,433 --> 00:17:47,266 So, we take him off to the brothel, we lay him down, 493 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,200 we take his clothes off, she's giving him a blowjob. 494 00:17:49,267 --> 00:17:51,135 We think he's gonna die the entire time. 495 00:17:51,203 --> 00:17:52,605 - We think he's gonna die. - Oh, no! 496 00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:54,007 You really think he's gonna die? 497 00:17:54,075 --> 00:17:57,042 Well, we were, at the time. He's all right now. 498 00:17:57,110 --> 00:17:59,112 This shows such passion and commitment, you know. 499 00:17:59,179 --> 00:18:01,451 I mean, I-I really admire it. 500 00:18:01,518 --> 00:18:02,953 - Thank you. Thank you. - I really do. 501 00:18:03,020 --> 00:18:06,124 Now, speaking of passion and commitment... 502 00:18:06,192 --> 00:18:07,293 Mm-hmm. 503 00:18:07,361 --> 00:18:09,531 Could you show some of that 504 00:18:09,598 --> 00:18:12,499 in another... area? 505 00:18:14,468 --> 00:18:17,004 - Mm. - [Squeaks] 506 00:18:18,704 --> 00:18:20,004 Okay. Yeah. 507 00:18:20,071 --> 00:18:21,738 [Chuckles] 508 00:18:21,805 --> 00:18:25,441 Oh, you know, you got such a nice face. 509 00:18:25,509 --> 00:18:29,974 Now, put it where it can do some real good. 510 00:18:30,041 --> 00:18:33,810 [Cellphone ringing] 511 00:18:33,878 --> 00:18:35,711 Hello. 512 00:18:35,779 --> 00:18:37,746 Jimmy J.! You nailed it! 513 00:18:37,814 --> 00:18:39,446 Really? 514 00:18:39,514 --> 00:18:43,351 Yeah, she went on and on and on about how funny you were. 515 00:18:43,419 --> 00:18:45,788 What did she say about my performance? 516 00:18:45,856 --> 00:18:47,057 Uh... 517 00:18:47,124 --> 00:18:48,490 - Better. - Yeah, much improved. 518 00:18:48,557 --> 00:18:50,124 She wants to put you in a holding deal. 519 00:18:50,191 --> 00:18:52,091 What's a holding deal? 520 00:18:52,159 --> 00:18:54,294 Yeah, holding deal. It's where they pay you to do nothing. 521 00:18:54,362 --> 00:18:57,097 Nothing?! Love doing nothing! I'm good at it. 522 00:18:57,165 --> 00:18:58,900 Yeah, just put you in a show that's coming down the pike. 523 00:19:00,972 --> 00:19:02,875 I don't have to go down on her, right? 524 00:19:02,943 --> 00:19:04,210 Probably. 525 00:19:04,278 --> 00:19:05,712 Uh, probably, sure. 526 00:19:05,779 --> 00:19:06,914 Who cares?! You're in a holding deal! 527 00:19:06,981 --> 00:19:09,217 Holding deal! 528 00:19:09,283 --> 00:19:10,850 Steve: Come on. Do it, Jim. 529 00:19:10,918 --> 00:19:13,553 Jim: 8 grand. No worries. 530 00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,688 Billy, Steve, I think our problems are behind us. 531 00:19:17,756 --> 00:19:19,123 I'm proud of you. 532 00:19:19,190 --> 00:19:20,623 Yeah, man. You stood up for yourself. 533 00:19:20,691 --> 00:19:22,225 And I ate her out. 534 00:19:22,293 --> 00:19:26,063 Looks like everything turned out pretty good. 535 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,232 Yeah. Yeah, I think... 536 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,534 [Cellphone rings] 537 00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,435 Hey, there, Mike. 538 00:19:31,503 --> 00:19:33,436 - Mike: Jimmy, don't buy anything yet. - What? Why? 539 00:19:33,504 --> 00:19:35,439 Angela left. She's going to work for a management company. 540 00:19:35,507 --> 00:19:37,008 - The deal's on hold. - The holding deal's on hold?! 541 00:19:37,075 --> 00:19:38,643 - The holding deal's on hold. - What happened? 542 00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,448 She left the network. She's with... Got another job. 543 00:19:41,515 --> 00:19:42,883 Don't worry. There's a new guy coming in. 544 00:19:42,950 --> 00:19:44,251 In a couple of weeks, I'm gonna get you a meeting. 545 00:19:44,319 --> 00:19:46,153 You hang in there, buddy. 546 00:19:46,221 --> 00:19:48,254 [Chuckles] Yeah. Thanks. 547 00:19:54,999 --> 00:19:57,933 I'm really happy you're here, Jim. I'm a huge fan. 548 00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,466 You're a very funny man. 549 00:19:59,534 --> 00:20:01,302 - You're a family guy? - Yeah. 550 00:20:01,370 --> 00:20:03,137 - Ah, these your kids? - Yes. 551 00:20:03,204 --> 00:20:05,804 - What a handsome bunch of boys these are. - Uh-huh. 552 00:20:05,872 --> 00:20:07,371 They're on vacation in your country right now. 553 00:20:07,439 --> 00:20:09,540 The Great Barrier Reef... have you heard of that place? 554 00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:10,975 - I love it there. Having the time of their life. - Yeah. 555 00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:12,477 If you don't mind me saying, 556 00:20:12,544 --> 00:20:14,345 your wife is a very attractive woman. 557 00:20:14,413 --> 00:20:16,047 - I don't know how I got so lucky. - Yeah. 558 00:20:16,115 --> 00:20:17,916 22 years of pure wedded bliss. 559 00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:20,485 - 22 years? - I know. In Hollywood. 560 00:20:20,553 --> 00:20:22,520 - It just doesn't happen. - Doesn't happen. 561 00:20:22,588 --> 00:20:24,319 - Yeah. - You know? 562 00:20:24,387 --> 00:20:26,187 I think that's half the reason they hired me here... family man. 563 00:20:26,255 --> 00:20:27,857 This is such a relief. 564 00:20:27,925 --> 00:20:30,893 Well, Angela said some pretty amazing things about you. 565 00:20:32,995 --> 00:20:35,064 Think we can work something out, Jim? 566 00:20:35,132 --> 00:20:37,066 [Squeaks] 567 00:20:39,469 --> 00:20:41,540 I'm gonna have to say no. 568 00:20:41,607 --> 00:20:44,645 I can't... I can't be sucking your cock. 569 00:20:44,712 --> 00:20:45,912 I-I can't suck your cock! 570 00:20:45,980 --> 00:20:49,421 It's... no. 571 00:20:49,488 --> 00:20:51,425 I don't know what you're talking about. 572 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:07,500 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 573 00:21:07,550 --> 00:21:12,100 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40834

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