All language subtitles for Its Always Sunny in Philadelphia s09e06 The Gang Saves the Day.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,888 --> 00:00:05,659 This place has got the best hot dogs in Philadelphia. 2 00:00:06,176 --> 00:00:08,911 Once you nosh on these, you're not gonna want to eat another 3 00:00:08,913 --> 00:00:10,879 - hot dog after this. - Might as well get some 4 00:00:10,881 --> 00:00:12,714 - snacks while we're here. - I'm getting a beer. 5 00:00:12,716 --> 00:00:14,716 Don't grab a beer. We're on our way to a bar, 6 00:00:14,718 --> 00:00:15,468 which we own. 7 00:00:15,588 --> 00:00:17,528 I'm gonna get a beer, too. Are you serious? 8 00:00:17,821 --> 00:00:19,421 Anyone else? Yeah, I'll have a beer. 9 00:00:19,423 --> 00:00:20,923 Of course I want a beer. Yeah. 10 00:00:20,925 --> 00:00:22,691 All right, well, I'm not gonna be the only one not 11 00:00:22,693 --> 00:00:24,593 drinking beer, so come on. Don't move! 12 00:00:24,595 --> 00:00:29,097 Oh, sh... Open the register. Open it! 13 00:00:29,099 --> 00:00:31,233 Oh, shit, oh, God, we're all gonna die. 14 00:00:31,235 --> 00:00:33,669 Put the money in the bag. Do it fast, or I'll blow your 15 00:00:33,671 --> 00:00:35,904 brains out! What are we gonna do? 16 00:00:52,293 --> 00:01:02,944 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 17 00:01:06,438 --> 00:01:07,438 Put the money in the bag. 18 00:01:07,633 --> 00:01:09,327 Do it fast, or I'll blow your brains out! 19 00:01:09,447 --> 00:01:12,303 What are we gonna do? 20 00:01:17,318 --> 00:01:18,628 - I will shoot you in the teeth. - Okay. 21 00:01:18,748 --> 00:01:20,628 - Give me the money. - Hey, bozo. 22 00:01:20,748 --> 00:01:23,747 Walk away now, and I let you live... or stick around and 23 00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:26,450 repent for your sins. 24 00:01:26,452 --> 00:01:28,819 You better step your ass back. 25 00:01:28,821 --> 00:01:31,221 And you better say "cheese." Huh? 26 00:01:33,726 --> 00:01:41,398 Crisis averted. Holy shit! 27 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:43,400 Mac, that was amazing! Oh, my God. 28 00:01:43,402 --> 00:01:45,302 Did you like my "say cheese" line? 29 00:01:45,304 --> 00:01:47,304 I didn't quite get that, if I'm being honest. 30 00:01:47,306 --> 00:01:49,239 Yeah, I was a little bit confused by that as well. 31 00:01:49,241 --> 00:01:51,175 It was a pun, 'cause I flung cheese in his face, you know? 32 00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:54,178 No, I got that, but... Yeah, but-but that's not really a pun. No. 33 00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:55,913 No, if you... if you had taken his photograph, and then 34 00:01:55,915 --> 00:01:57,448 you flung cheese in his face... There it is. 35 00:01:57,450 --> 00:01:59,416 ...that would be a pun. Yeah, you're taking the guy's 36 00:01:59,418 --> 00:02:01,185 picture, you say, "Say cheese!" That would've done it. 37 00:02:01,187 --> 00:02:02,653 Should I go get a camera? You know what? 38 00:02:02,655 --> 00:02:04,455 Yeah, he's missing the point. It doesn't matter. 39 00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,524 What you just did was badass. Oh, my God. 40 00:02:07,526 --> 00:02:10,527 Now let's take a look at who this scumbag is. 41 00:02:10,529 --> 00:02:15,799 Oh, sh... oh, shit. 42 00:02:15,801 --> 00:02:17,801 Yakuza. 43 00:02:17,803 --> 00:02:19,269 Go, go! Oh, shit! 44 00:02:19,271 --> 00:02:21,538 Oh, my God. 45 00:02:21,540 --> 00:02:29,046 Hyah! Hyoh! 46 00:03:32,344 --> 00:03:39,349 Mac, watch out! 47 00:03:39,351 --> 00:03:47,691 Hah! 48 00:03:47,693 --> 00:03:50,894 Yah! 49 00:03:50,896 --> 00:03:53,230 Hyah! 50 00:04:07,012 --> 00:04:20,991 - Very impressive. Your technique... - is impeccable. 51 00:04:20,993 --> 00:04:29,666 Cool off. Yo, Mac, that was amazing. 52 00:04:29,668 --> 00:04:31,502 And that's a great pun, dude. You used the pun right! 53 00:04:31,504 --> 00:04:33,270 Yeah, you got the pun right, dude. 54 00:04:33,272 --> 00:04:34,938 Huh? What pun? 55 00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:36,673 The... "Cool off" and you kicked him in a fridge. 56 00:04:36,675 --> 00:04:38,509 He's not getting it, is he? No, he's not. Forget it. 57 00:04:38,511 --> 00:04:39,943 Don't worry about it. What is a pun? 58 00:04:39,945 --> 00:04:41,779 You know, move past it. I'll take his photograph. 59 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:46,750 No, no. What the hell is the matter with you? Why would you do that? 60 00:04:46,752 --> 00:04:50,354 I killed the boss. That's not the boss, you idiot. He's my father! 61 00:04:50,356 --> 00:04:53,357 He owns the store! Whoops. 62 00:04:53,359 --> 00:04:55,159 My bad. Now, is your throat okay? 63 00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:56,927 Is it... is that from the smoke, or...? 64 00:04:56,929 --> 00:05:02,166 Is that a pun? 65 00:05:02,168 --> 00:05:04,468 Oh, my God, Mac! 66 00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:06,336 No! 67 00:05:06,338 --> 00:05:09,940 Mac, Mac, Mac. We're sorry for doubting your awesomeness. Yeah. 68 00:05:09,942 --> 00:05:12,342 I can't live without you. Don't die. 69 00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:22,119 I... don't... forgive you. 70 00:05:22,121 --> 00:05:25,789 No! 71 00:05:25,791 --> 00:05:28,358 No, no... Why? 72 00:05:28,360 --> 00:05:32,062 Why? 73 00:05:32,064 --> 00:05:34,865 I love you! Why? 74 00:05:34,867 --> 00:05:40,771 I love you! 75 00:05:40,773 --> 00:06:12,769 God? Hello, Mac. 76 00:06:12,771 --> 00:06:15,572 Those were some pretty sweet moves. 77 00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:17,574 Thank you, my Lord and Savior. 78 00:06:17,576 --> 00:06:20,878 Won't you join me? Is that seat for me? 79 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:23,714 You're goddamn right it is. 80 00:06:23,716 --> 00:06:35,559 Oh, hey, Rex. 81 00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:38,328 'Sup, bro? So what do we do now? 82 00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:42,132 Now we ignore everyone's prayers. 83 00:06:42,134 --> 00:06:49,172 Put the money in the bag. Do it fast, or I'll blow your 84 00:06:49,174 --> 00:06:52,009 brains out! What are we gonna do? 85 00:06:54,380 --> 00:06:59,516 Damn it, Dee, this is all your fault. 86 00:06:59,518 --> 00:07:01,184 What? It's because of you. 87 00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:02,953 How is this my fault? It just is, you stupid bitch. 88 00:07:02,955 --> 00:07:04,788 Guys, you thinking what I'm thinking? 89 00:07:04,790 --> 00:07:06,456 Let's sacrifice her. What? 90 00:07:06,458 --> 00:07:08,659 Sir, sir! Please, take her, take her! 91 00:07:08,661 --> 00:07:12,129 Have your way with the whore! 92 00:07:12,131 --> 00:07:19,136 Oh. Let me blow these assholes away. No, no, wait, wait, wait, 93 00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:21,138 please, please! Please, don't shoot my friends. 94 00:07:21,140 --> 00:07:23,140 Listen, listen to me. Just give me the gun, okay? 95 00:07:23,142 --> 00:07:25,142 We'll work something out. Just give me the gun. 96 00:07:25,144 --> 00:07:27,511 Give it to me. There you go. 97 00:07:27,513 --> 00:07:29,513 Oh, Dee! Dee did it! 98 00:07:29,515 --> 00:07:31,515 You saved our lives! You saved the day! 99 00:07:31,517 --> 00:07:34,718 You're the hero. I'll see you in hell, boners. 100 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:44,227 No witnesses. I like your style. 101 00:07:44,229 --> 00:07:48,999 We should team up. Us ladies need to stick together. I tell you what. 102 00:07:49,001 --> 00:07:52,669 I got your back. For life. 103 00:07:52,671 --> 00:07:54,671 She did it. What? 104 00:07:54,673 --> 00:07:57,207 You bitch! You're dead! 105 00:07:57,209 --> 00:07:59,676 You hear me? Miss Reynolds? 106 00:07:59,678 --> 00:08:01,678 We need to get you into the witness protection program 107 00:08:01,680 --> 00:08:04,147 immediately. Let me ask. 108 00:08:04,149 --> 00:08:07,684 Are you good at playing characters? 109 00:08:13,792 --> 00:08:20,063 Hello, love, I'm the new butler. 110 00:08:20,065 --> 00:08:24,501 Albert Covington's the name. Is your mom about? 111 00:08:24,503 --> 00:08:27,170 I'm sorry, their-their mother's no longer with us. 112 00:08:27,172 --> 00:08:33,443 Oh, well, then, it looks like I've come at the right time. 113 00:08:33,445 --> 00:08:39,583 Children, your chariot awaits. Ah, Miss Sarah, ham and cheese, 114 00:08:39,585 --> 00:08:41,885 no crust, just the way you like it. 115 00:08:41,887 --> 00:08:45,188 Ah, ah, ah! Who slayed Achilles? 116 00:08:45,190 --> 00:08:48,191 Uh, Paris, Hector's brother. Well done, lad. 117 00:08:48,193 --> 00:08:51,094 An extra treat for you. Mr. Covington, have you seen 118 00:08:51,096 --> 00:08:53,530 my...? Briefcase, sir. 119 00:08:53,532 --> 00:08:57,234 Oh, Mr. Covington. You're the best, Mr. 120 00:08:57,236 --> 00:09:01,772 Covington. How long are you staying with us? Well, Sarah, something 121 00:09:01,774 --> 00:09:04,641 tells me I'm gonna be here a long time. 122 00:09:04,643 --> 00:09:08,078 Why is that? Your sweater's on backwards. 123 00:09:10,015 --> 00:09:14,418 Paper plates for nana House is a mess 124 00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:16,820 Life for a single parent Is full of stress 125 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,256 Makes you want to put a gun In your mouth 126 00:09:19,258 --> 00:09:25,529 Or get real high But with a little help I think we'll just get by. 127 00:09:27,429 --> 00:09:31,301 By now, everyone knows the remarkable story of Dee 128 00:09:31,303 --> 00:09:34,771 Reynolds, a government witness whose turn as a British butler 129 00:09:34,773 --> 00:09:38,642 was so convincing that it was spun off into the highest rated 130 00:09:38,644 --> 00:09:42,312 sitcom of all time. Today she is here to talk with 131 00:09:42,314 --> 00:09:46,416 us about her upcoming blockbuster Mother Earth. 132 00:09:46,418 --> 00:09:49,319 Tell us more about it. Well, this time I play a very 133 00:09:49,321 --> 00:09:52,289 beautiful woman. Uh, a warrior princess who saves 134 00:09:52,291 --> 00:09:54,791 the world. It's already grossed over 135 00:09:54,793 --> 00:09:58,361 $900 million in presale tickets, but I don't care about that. 136 00:09:58,363 --> 00:10:01,164 You know, I'm more interested in exploring truth through 137 00:10:01,166 --> 00:10:03,300 character. Amazing. 138 00:10:03,302 --> 00:10:05,669 Yes. And I understand you've 139 00:10:05,671 --> 00:10:09,773 recently become engaged to young heartthrob crooner Josh Groban. 140 00:10:09,775 --> 00:10:12,042 When I found out 141 00:10:12,044 --> 00:10:15,278 that Mr. Covington was actually a chick, yeah, I had to have 142 00:10:15,280 --> 00:10:17,280 her. I mean, look at her. 143 00:10:17,282 --> 00:10:19,449 She's smart, she's sexy, she's hilarious. 144 00:10:19,451 --> 00:10:21,518 She pops. 145 00:10:21,520 --> 00:10:24,321 He likes his ladies to pop. That's true, Groban does like 146 00:10:24,323 --> 00:10:26,790 his ladies to pop. Isn't he cute? 147 00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,792 Sing her that song you wrote for me. 148 00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:30,794 Which one? The one you wrote for me. 149 00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,796 Oh, God, put me on the spot. It's great. 150 00:10:32,798 --> 00:10:36,967 Oh, you're gonna love it! She's got blonde hair 151 00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:41,538 She's perfect in every way Feet not too large 152 00:10:41,540 --> 00:10:45,575 Not too small Blonde hair 153 00:10:45,577 --> 00:10:48,912 She's gorgeous Not like a bird 154 00:10:48,914 --> 00:10:53,850 But like a beautiful woman Definitely not like a bird. 155 00:10:53,852 --> 00:10:58,355 Oh. I love this man so much. 156 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:01,424 - Tell you what. - I've got the 157 00:11:01,426 --> 00:11:05,262 feeling we're gonna be together a long time. 158 00:11:05,264 --> 00:11:09,699 That's how babies are made. 159 00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:13,537 But they didn't stay together a long time, their marriage only 160 00:11:13,539 --> 00:11:17,440 lasting a shocking 17 minutes before Reynolds met a new man 161 00:11:17,442 --> 00:11:21,478 whom she claimed she had to have. 162 00:11:22,618 --> 00:11:26,449 I'll shoot you in the teeth. Give me the money! 163 00:11:29,770 --> 00:11:32,898 Put the money in the bag. Do it fast, or I'll blow your brains out! 164 00:11:33,138 --> 00:11:36,640 What are we gonna do? 165 00:11:40,843 --> 00:11:43,914 Give me the money! You're going about this all 166 00:11:43,916 --> 00:11:47,403 wrong, friend. Oh, what the hell do you know? More than you think. 167 00:11:47,866 --> 00:11:52,735 A fisherman always spots another fisherman from afar. 168 00:11:52,737 --> 00:11:55,705 Hard candy? 169 00:11:55,707 --> 00:12:03,446 Shit. Ah, ooh! I... I dares it... I dar-dar-dar... A crammy hand... 170 00:12:03,448 --> 00:12:06,749 A crammy handle bit. A crammy handle bit aye. 171 00:12:06,751 --> 00:12:09,052 Der. 172 00:12:09,054 --> 00:12:15,224 I love you. 173 00:12:15,226 --> 00:12:18,294 Oh, God! 174 00:12:18,296 --> 00:12:23,232 I... am... God. 175 00:12:23,234 --> 00:12:35,745 I think he's awake. His eyes keep opening. 176 00:12:35,747 --> 00:12:38,014 Ah, I don't know, man. He looks weird. 177 00:12:38,016 --> 00:12:40,249 Can he hear us? No way. 178 00:12:40,251 --> 00:12:45,588 His eggs are scrambled. Mr. Reynolds, are you there? 179 00:12:45,590 --> 00:12:50,960 Blink if you can understand me. 180 00:12:50,962 --> 00:12:53,830 Where am I? You were shot in the head 181 00:12:53,832 --> 00:12:56,666 during an armed robbery. The bullet narrowly missed your 182 00:12:56,668 --> 00:13:00,036 brain stem and exited the back of your skull. 183 00:13:00,038 --> 00:13:05,041 Does-does my dick work? No. 184 00:13:05,043 --> 00:13:09,645 Your penis does not work. Kill me. 185 00:13:09,647 --> 00:13:14,617 Mr. Reynolds, Mr. Reynolds. It's important that you maintain 186 00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:17,653 a positive attitude. Now, with a lot of hard 187 00:13:17,655 --> 00:13:20,289 work and the support of your friends... 188 00:13:20,291 --> 00:13:23,359 Ah, it appears they've left. Well, not to worry. 189 00:13:23,361 --> 00:13:26,295 We have a top-notch rehabilitation staff and they're 190 00:13:26,297 --> 00:13:29,799 gonna do everything they can to improve your quality of life. 191 00:13:29,801 --> 00:13:33,136 In fact, here comes your nurse now. 192 00:13:33,138 --> 00:13:38,975 Until now I always got by on my own 193 00:13:38,977 --> 00:13:43,779 I never really cared Until I met you... 194 00:13:43,781 --> 00:13:47,517 Hello, Dennis. 195 00:13:47,519 --> 00:13:52,655 ...from the Channel Five News weather team. 196 00:13:52,657 --> 00:13:55,424 Once upon a time, yes. But I left that to do something 197 00:13:55,426 --> 00:13:58,761 more meaningful with my life. Now, what do you say we get you 198 00:13:58,763 --> 00:14:03,566 back on your feet? The forecast calls for 199 00:14:03,568 --> 00:14:08,738 sunshine. Come on, come on, come on. 200 00:14:08,740 --> 00:14:12,742 Yes. More. 201 00:14:12,744 --> 00:14:17,580 I can't do it. 202 00:14:17,582 --> 00:14:20,650 That's it. 203 00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:23,686 Use your strength. That's right. 204 00:14:23,688 --> 00:14:25,688 You're so strong. That's it. 205 00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,623 Good. 206 00:14:27,625 --> 00:14:29,625 And I just can't wait till the day 207 00:14:29,627 --> 00:14:32,695 When you knock on my door... Oh, I'm so proud of you, yes! 208 00:14:32,697 --> 00:14:35,131 Oh, my God! 209 00:14:35,133 --> 00:14:39,302 Yeah! Now, every time I go for the mailbox Gotta hold myself down... 210 00:14:39,304 --> 00:14:41,804 Yes! Yeah! 211 00:14:41,806 --> 00:14:45,141 Ah, yes! 'Cause I just can't wait 212 00:14:45,143 --> 00:14:50,379 Till you write me You're coming around... 213 00:14:50,381 --> 00:14:52,048 Yes! 214 00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:56,786 Yes. Oh! 215 00:14:56,788 --> 00:14:58,621 Yeah, Jackie. 216 00:14:58,623 --> 00:15:00,456 Oh... This is so great. I need to tell you something. 217 00:15:00,458 --> 00:15:02,458 Okay. I am in love with you! 218 00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:13,903 I'm walking on sunshine Whoa... 219 00:15:13,905 --> 00:15:17,907 She's lucky to be alive. She broke her arm, few ribs, 220 00:15:17,909 --> 00:15:20,443 punctured a lung, shattered her pelvis... 221 00:15:20,445 --> 00:15:25,948 Compound fractures in both legs. Her breasts? 222 00:15:25,950 --> 00:15:30,486 Excuse me? What about her breasts? 223 00:15:30,488 --> 00:15:35,291 I'm afraid that they were, um... obliterated. 224 00:15:35,293 --> 00:15:37,860 Believe me, we did everything in our power to try to save them, 225 00:15:37,862 --> 00:15:41,330 but... Now, look, she has a long, 226 00:15:41,332 --> 00:15:44,333 difficult road ahead of her, but you above all people should know 227 00:15:44,335 --> 00:15:47,603 that anything is possible. She is lucky to have you in her 228 00:15:47,605 --> 00:15:55,211 life. Could you give us a moment, please? Of course. 229 00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:16,966 I'm walking on sunshine Whoa I'm walking on sunshine Whoa 230 00:16:16,968 --> 00:16:20,536 I'm walking on sunshine Whoa... 231 00:16:22,540 --> 00:16:27,910 And don't it feel good Good All right... Rest easy, my angel. 232 00:16:27,912 --> 00:16:36,952 Put the money in the bag. Do it fast, or I'll blow your 233 00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,822 brains out! What are we gonna do? 234 00:16:39,824 --> 00:16:44,527 Let's go, buddy. 235 00:16:44,529 --> 00:16:47,163 Today! Everybody stay calm. 236 00:16:47,165 --> 00:16:49,865 I'll handle this. What? 237 00:16:49,867 --> 00:16:50,800 No, Frank. Hey, Stop it. 238 00:16:50,802 --> 00:16:52,535 Frank, don't be... Are you crazy? 239 00:16:52,537 --> 00:16:54,870 Hey, what are you doing? Hurry up. 240 00:16:54,872 --> 00:16:58,874 Move faster, or I'll shoot you in the face. 241 00:16:58,876 --> 00:17:00,943 In the bag. In the bag. 242 00:17:00,945 --> 00:17:03,579 I'm gonna shoot you if you don't move faster. 243 00:17:03,581 --> 00:17:06,515 Let's go. 244 00:17:06,517 --> 00:17:08,284 Okay... I don't have all day. 245 00:17:08,286 --> 00:17:10,286 - Come on. - You're 246 00:17:10,288 --> 00:17:12,088 surrounded. Put your weapon down and come 247 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:14,623 out with your hands up. You're gonna have to kill me! 248 00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:16,892 All right, 249 00:17:16,894 --> 00:17:19,562 send in the K-9. 250 00:17:21,399 --> 00:17:24,066 Oh, get him off me! Goddamn it, stop! 251 00:17:24,068 --> 00:17:26,268 Whoa, easy, puppy. 252 00:17:28,272 --> 00:17:30,072 All right, it looks like the hostages are 253 00:17:30,074 --> 00:17:31,741 dead. Let him have it. 254 00:17:39,850 --> 00:17:44,420 Mmm... I will shoot you in the teeth. Give me the money. 255 00:17:44,422 --> 00:17:45,354 Okay. 256 00:17:49,736 --> 00:17:52,774 Put the money in the bag. Do it fast, or I'll blow your brains out! 257 00:17:59,345 --> 00:18:02,931 Put the money in the bag. Do it fast, or I'll blow your brains out! 258 00:18:03,435 --> 00:18:04,901 Waitress, no! 259 00:18:06,405 --> 00:18:08,805 You dick. 260 00:18:08,807 --> 00:18:12,308 Come on! Oh, my God, Charlie, that was 261 00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:16,146 so brave. Anything for you, my love. 262 00:20:58,481 --> 00:21:00,376 Charlie. What are you doing, dude? 263 00:21:00,378 --> 00:21:02,078 Huh? Nothing. What are you doing? 264 00:21:02,080 --> 00:21:03,980 Will you focus? We're in a serious situation 265 00:21:03,982 --> 00:21:07,299 here. What are we gonna do, you guys? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? 266 00:21:09,534 --> 00:21:11,222 Yeah. 267 00:21:16,224 --> 00:21:17,900 What the...? The big bills, underneath. 268 00:21:18,020 --> 00:21:19,091 Give me the big bills. 269 00:21:20,344 --> 00:21:30,831 Sync & corrections by honeybunny www.addic7ed.com 270 00:21:30,881 --> 00:21:35,431 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 21481

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