All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s05e21 Standing Room Only.eng

( theme song playing )

Fantastic dinner,

simply fantastic.

Thank you, my dear.

The champagne and all
that lovely caviar.

Do you know what day
this is?

Thursday.

Ah, it's much more
than Thursday.

Today is our
anniversary.

Did you know that we
have known each other for a whole month?

( chuckles ):
Oh.

Oh! Oh, a jade necklace.

Oh, how lovely.

Sofia, darling, you have
the most beautiful eyes.

Oh, danke,
Herr Kommandant.

Oh, just call me
plain Commandant.

All right, Commandant.

( chuckling )

Where was I?

My eyes.

Oh, yes, oh, yes.

They sparkle,
like 37-millimeter antiaircraft shells

bursting in the dark sky.

Halt!

Halt!

Stop it!
Stop it!

What are you doing?!

Going for a little
walk, huh?!

Yeah, going for a walk.

You're walking right
into the cooler, you understand?!

Hold it, Schultz,
you can't arrest this man.

Who said so?

He was just airing
his blanket, right?

Yes, sir.

KLINK:
Schultz!

Schultz!

What's going on out there?

What's all the shooting?

He was just airing
his blanket, Schultz.

You want me to believe that?

Herr Kommandant, false alarm!

The guards in the tower are
trigger-happy!

There will be no more
trigger happiness tonight!

SCHULTZ:
Jawohl, Herr Kommandant!

Take him back to the barracks.

And you!

Wait till after the war to air
your blankets, you understand?

All right, come on.

HOGAN:
All right, get down in the tunnel.

Next time, I may do
the shooting and I won't miss.

If anything like this
happens again,

we're going to hold
a court-martial

right here in the tunnel.

I've had enough.

We're sick of it.

We want out.

You got to do
something, sir.

All right,
pipe down.

You could have blown
the whole operation tonight,

put us right out
of business.

I almost made it, sir.

You weren't even close.

Colonel,
it's two weeks

since we broke out
of Stalag 5.

That was your
first mistake,

the seven of you
all at once.

How do you think
the Krauts feel

about that kind
of operation?

Gets them
awfully nervous.

Sure, and the heat's
passed around

from one Luftstalag
to the next.

We're going stir crazy.

When can we move?

I told you, as soon as
the underground can handle it.

You'll be passed along
to the coast

and taken to England by sub.

We're ready.

But we're not.

You're going to relax
until we are.

That's an order.

Keep them amused, huh?

LeBeau was trying.

They don't like my
Maurice Chevalier imitation.

Why don't you try
Betty Grable.

Better stick
with Chevalier.

( scoffs )

What's going on,
Colonel?

No idea.

Must be some kind
of a meeting.

Bloody rude of them
not to invite you.

Maybe I'll go anyway.

Mind the store, huh?

Thank you.

I needed that.

This major that just came in
with General Burkhalter.

What about him?

Oh, nothing, he just looks
familiar, that's all.

And you'd like to know
who he is.

Major Strauss,
commandant of Luftstalag 5.

That's interesting.

So are you.

Mind if I catch
a little of this fascinating conversation?

Why?

Oh, nothing.

Major Strauss may be
transferred here.

How's that for a reason?

Not too good.

Hilda.

Ah...

That's a much
better reason.

So's that.

BURKHALTER:
In the past year,

Major Strauss, over 100
escapes from Stalag 5

and more than half of them
being successful.

That is terrible.

Somehow I knew
you would think so.

How do you explain it, Major?

Yes, how do you
explain it, Major?

Well, we do have
a large prisoner population.

So does Stalag 13,

but we have never had one
successful escape here.

Klink, if you don't mind,
I'll blow your horn.

For once, you don't have
to do it yourself.

Thank you, General Burkhalter.

Now, Major, I have studied
your service record.

You're a good soldier,
very qualified for your job.

I appreciate
that, sir.

What's 100 escapes?

Nothing.

It could happen to anybody.

Except you, of course.

Except me, of course.

Unfortunately, Stalag 5
is a problem.

We had to keep the 14th Division
tied down in this area

for patrol duty.

We can't move them
to the Eastern Front.

Oh, they must be terribly
disappointed, Herr General.

We have to do something

about this situation,
Strauss.

I want you
to move in here to study and observe

Klink's methods.

He is to have access
to everything, Klink:

housekeeping details,
security matters.

I will take over Stalag 5
temporarily while you are here.

Herr General.

What can I possibly
learn from him?

I know how to wear
a monocle.

Perhaps you could use it

to look for your missing
prisoners, huh?

Major, Klink is
your superior.

You are being disrespectful.

Herr General, I do not
want to come here

as a student...
or anything.

The alternative for you is

a nice train trip
to the Russian Front.

General Burkhalter,
I do not want him here.

And you, Klink, can go to Russia
on the same train!

Then all you two will have
to fight about

is who gets the upper berth.

( Morse code transmitting )

What's up?

Great bloody air raid
on Düsseldorf--

hundreds of them.

It's about time.

It's good news
and bad news, Colonel.

Half of Düsseldorf is now
a garbage dump.

But the bad news is
12 of our guys bailed out.

Four were captured
and eight got away.

What's bad news about that?

The underground's sending them
here.

They can't do that!

I don't
believe that!

Tell them we got
a full house.

Can't do it, Colonel,
they've shut down.

This is a POW camp,
not a subway.

The Gestapo's already on the
move looking for the flyers.

Right. That'll
give us 15 men.

We can't get rid
of the seven we've got.

There's no air
in the tunnel now.

I will not give
those guys

mouth-to-mouth
resuscitation.

All right, let's not get
worked up.

We have no choice.

Carter, Newkirk, LeBeau, go out
and meet them tonight.

Now, the rendezvous point
is X14, 2200 hours.

15 guys.

Holy Toledo!

What are you going to do?

We're the only motel
in a combat zone.

I believe in the iron fist
in a velvet glove.

As commandant, I have
to make a few concessions once in a while.

Only last week, I
granted my men 15 extra minutes of hot water.

A day?

A month.

That's what I call being
a real humanitarian.

Oh, you'll get the hang of my
system in a few days, Major.

You see, there's no secret
to my methods.

The record of my success
is an open book.

Coffee, Major.

Thank you, Sergeant.

You have been with Colonel Klink
quite a while.

Oh, I'm like
a son to him.

He raised me
from a private.

That's nice.

I have great respect
for the colonel--

in fact, for all
the officers

down to the rank
of captain.

As you can see,

I am trying to learn
the methods

of this man you respect
so much, Sergeant.

You could do worse, Major.

You may be able to interpret
some ledger entries.

Oh...

Thank you.

I see here...

Ah.

3,000 marks
for transportation of prisoners

to Hammelburg
for church services.

Is that customary?

It's funny.

( chuckling )

The commandant has
a great sense of humor.

Whenever he borrows money
from the camp treasury,

he always puts that down.

"Transportation
for church services."

Ooh, that's beautiful.

It is amusing.

He pays the money back,
of course.

Yes, sir.

There is no record
of that.

Oh, he must have forgotten.

Aw, you know how it is
when one is in love.

Sit down, Schultz.

Please, please.

Klink is in love?

Ja, with two people--

himself and Sofia.

Who is she?

Sofia Lindemann,
a local tomato.

Ooh, very ooh-la-la.

Your commandant knows
how to live.

Hmm.

Oh, uh, here--

5,000 marks for
a pound of caviar

and a case of champagne

to entertain
Reichsmarschall Göring.

Did you meet Göring when
he was here, Sergeant?

Ja. That was easy.

Really.

Ja.

Reichsmarschall Göring
and Fräulein Lindemann are the same person.

( both laughing )

Oh, that is very clever!

Oh, the commandant knows
how to operate in a war.

( clicks heels )

You have everything you need,
Major?

More than enough, Schultz,

more than enough.

There is the motor pool.

Maintenance on all vehicles
is done by the prisoners

on a voluntary basis.

That is very unusual.

Yes, and someday,
if you work hard,

maybe you will get
your prisoners to do things like that.

I'll try.

Göring must have been
very impressed.

Indeed he was.

Göring? Which Göring?

Rather heavyset man
who paid you a visit recently.

You entertained him with caviar
and champagne.

Oh, that Göring.

Oh, yes, indeed it was
a great honor.

You've been in my books.

Burkhalter said I was to have
access to everything, remember?

I would like to meet
Fräulein Lindemann sometime.

Really?

Maybe I should invite her
for dinner?

I will wait until she gives
testimony at your court-martial.

Court-martial?

Is that necessary?

Somebody has to
find you guilty of stealing camp funds.

Oh, I only borrowed
the money.

I mean, it was a loan.

I intended to pay it back.

Of course.

Tell that to the boys
in Stalingrad,

unless Burkhalter decides
on a firing squad.

Major, must you report this

to General Burkhalter?

I mean, he has
so many things on his mind these days.

Remember the war effort?

I am.

You have pushed me around,

made me look like dirt
in front of him

and now, the monocle is
on the other eye,

Commandant!

You're just not a nice person.

I say we ought
to send the lot of them out

through the
emergency tunnel.

Right. Let the
underground handle it.

Yeah, maybe they
can hide out

in groups of twos
and threes.

The underground doesn't have
enough safe houses.

Impossible.

Colonel, I'm running
out of food.

Pretty soon I'll
have to give them

the same stuff
that Klink gives us.

Poisoning people is no way
to get rid of them.

We can't just sneak them
out of camp.

Gestapo's got a man
behind every tree out there.

The underground can't move.

Then we're stuck
with that lot indefinitely, then.

No.

What we need is
a bold, open plan.

Heck, I'd just march
them out of camp

like they were
going someplace.

That's not bold,
it's insulting.

Hey, suppose they were
on a cleanup detail

outside the wire
and just disappeared.

Now you're
getting warmer.

Can you arrange it,
Colonel?

I'll just ask
Klink.

NEWKIRK:
Will he go for it?

How can you refuse
to clean up the war?

( knocking at door )

Come in, come in.

Can I see you a minute,
Commandant?

Yes, take a good look.

You won't see me
much longer.

You're leaving us?

Let me guess.

You've been transferred
to active duty.

Huh. Very active--

either Stalingrad or falling
in front of a firing squad.

That's active enough
for anybody.

What happened?

Why should I tell you?

You're one of my enemies.

What else have you got?

Oh, I suppose it doesn't
matter anymore anyway.

Major Strauss went
through the books.

I have been borrowing
from the camp treasury.

Well, if you got
a choice, take the firing squad, sir.

It's quicker.

I had every intention
of paying it back.

But you never quite
made it, right?

No, I never quite made it.

Fräulein Lindemann?

You know how it is.

Yeah, I used to know
how it is.

And now Major Strauss reports
to General Burkhalter

and that's that.

Why must I be so
attractive to women?

Why?

It's one of the great mysteries
of our time.

My last official act could be
to send you to the cooler.

You do that and I won't be able
to help you.

I got an idea.

Hmm. Unless you're
willing

to shoot Major Strauss
in the back,

I'm not interested.

There was a mass breakout

from Stalag 5
a few weeks ago--

seven prisoners,
I believe.

How do you know
about that?

We had a few transfers
from Stalag 5 and they talked.

Now suppose, just suppose
that I could arrange

for you to recapture
those seven guys.

You could arrange that?

How?

Are you going
to ask questions

or start packing your
long woolen underwear?

I'm listening,
I'm listening.

All right.

You recapture
the prisoners,

you turn them over
to the major

on the condition
that he forget

all about your hanky-panky
with Fräulein Lindemann.

The major becomes
a hero to Burkhalter

and you go on
dancing your way

into the heart
of the Third Reich.

Can you do that?

Make the deal with the major.

All right, all right.

But, Hogan, why would
you go through all that trouble, huh?

I'm doing it for my men.

They've developed a fond
affection for you, sir.

Oh, well...

I mean, when you walk by

with your riding crop
and your monocle,

they say, "There goes Klink.

He's embarrassing,
but he's ours."

I'm not sure, Hogan,

but I think I
should be offended.

Work on it.

KINCHLOE:
He's shaking hands, Colonel.

Hey, Klink's headed
this way.

All right, fellows,
break it up.

I saw you talking
to the major.

Yes, he might be
interested,

but first
he wants to know

where the seven
prisoners are

and how this recapture
is to be arranged.

I also saw you shaking
hands with him.

Oh, that was just
a gesture.

Don't get cozy with me,
Commandant,

you're halfway
to the Russian Front.

All right,
it's a deal.

I get his prisoners back

and he forgets that I borrowed
from the camp treasury.

Now, Hogan, when is
all of this going to happen, hmm?

One of these nights,
real soon.

I don't think I like
the sound of that.

Would you rather hear sleigh
bells coming toward you?

Eight Kraut uniforms, Colonel?

Including one for
a Luftwaffe captain.

Kinch, we'll need a truck
big enough for 15 men.

Just sitting in
the motor pool, waiting.

He's pretty cute,

doesn't even bother jumping
the wires anymore.

All right, Kinch,

I want you to hide the truck
just off the road here.

LeBeau, I want you
to lead the men to it.

Oui, Colonel.
Understood.

Carter, Newkirk,

you'll be in charge
of the first seven guys.

Get them through the emergency
tunnel into the gate.

Got it?

Right.

I'm with you
all the way, sir.

Good, Carter.

You don't know how secure
that makes me feel.

HOGAN:
All right, now, when we're ready,

you flyers will go out first.

Corporal LeBeau will be
in command.

Obey orders,
messieurs,

and everything
will be okay.

Anybody speak German?

Jawohl, Herr Hogan.

Ich spreche und verstehe
Deutsch.

Wow, like a native.

Good, I want to talk
to you later.

Yes, sir.

All right,

one other important detail
before we start.

To spring all of you,

you men from Stalag 5
have got to be recaptured temporarily.

What?

Recaptured?

What's the idea?

After all this time?

What are the chances,
Colonel?

Well, maybe
50/50.

I'll admit
there is a risk;

I'm not
going to try to kid you.

Anything this important,

I say we ought
to vote on it.

Vote?

I'm not asking you
to elect me to Congress.

I'm just trying
to get you home.

From here on, no talking.

No cigarettes.

Follow me, single file,
let's go.

All right, heads up, guys.

We're moving.

PRISONER:
We surrender!

Comrade!

Comrade, we surrender!

Don't shoot.

Don't shoot, we surrender.

Dummkopf!

Do I have to think
of everything?

Let them in!

Rein, rein mit euch.

PRISONERS:
Don't shoot, don't shoot.

Come on, come on,
come on.

Herr Kommandant!

Herr Kommandant,
the prisoners-- I captured them!

Well, Major, you
will be a hero.

You kept your part of the
bargain, I'll keep mine.

How did you
recapture them, Colonel?

Where were they?

Don't get cozy
with me, Major.

One false move and
you could be hearing

sleigh bells
coming towards you.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

( in German accent ):
Where will I find Major Strauss?

Here he is.

Herr Major, I am Captain
Schmidt, Stalag 5.

General Burkhalter's
compliments, sir.

I have orders to return
these men to Stalag 5.

They are the escaped prisoners.

Take them away.

STRAUSS:
Just a minute.

How did General Burkhalter know
these men would be here?

They have only surrendered
in the last half hour.

Uh, the general, uh, received
an anonymous phone call, sir.

He was informed the prisoners
would be found here.

Nicely done, Colonel.

You did mention me
to the general.

Oh, yes, of course
I mentioned your name.

SCHMIDT:
With your permission, Herr Major.

Achtung!

Get them in the truck.

Schnell.

HOGAN:
Bon voyage.

Herr Major,
General Burkhalter will be pleased

you have recaptured
the prisoners.

I will report
to him...

That will not be
necessary.

I will do my
own reporting.

I am going back
to the stalag with you.

But, uh, we have 15 men, sir.

There's hardly room for...

I recaptured these men!

I will return them to Stalag 5!

Captain, why don't you
take the major with you all the way.

Why don't you stay out
of this all the way.

Major, if you please.

Wiedersehen.

Heil Hitler.

Heil Hitler.

( truck engine starts )

Good riddance.

Now I wonder
if he'll keep his word

or report my bookkeeping
to the general.

I have a feeling
you won't hear from Major Strauss again.

I hope you're right.

How did you arrange it?

Sorry, classified
information.

Hogan, you saved my life.

I could have been
executed

or sent to
the Russian Front.

Six of one, half a dozen...

Why did you do it?

Well, it's simple.

I want us to win the war.

Well, I don't...

And I figure with you
alive and fighting,

we have a much
better chance.

( knocking at door )

Come in, come in.

Oh, Hogan, what is it?
What do you want?

I heard corks
popping clear across the compound, sir.

Oh, this is
Fräulein Sofia Lindemann,

Colonel Hogan,
senior POW officer.

Fräulein.

Colonel.

As long as you're
here, have some champagne, Hogan.

Don't mind
if I do, sir.

Make yourself
at home, Hogan.

Thank you.

Heard from
Major Strauss?

Not him, General Burkhalter
called me.

Developments?

Major Strauss has disappeared
with his seven prisoners

and the escort sent
by General Burkhalter.

Ah, that is
a development.

He has obviously deserted.

Hogan, you told me
I would never hear from him again

and you were right.

Have some caviar?

Yeah, Colonel,
I'll get around to it.

( two gunshots in distance )

Hmm?

Now what is it?

Sounds like the natives
again, sir.

SCHULTZ:
Herr Kommandant!

( gunshot )
Herr Kommandant!

Yes, yes, Schultz,
I'm coming, I'm coming!

( alarm bell ringing )

I'm sorry, my dear,
I'll be right back.

When the boys create
a diversion,

they don't fool around.

He'll be gone at least
two hours.

Fräulein, you have
beautiful eyes.

Anyone ever told you that?

Yes-- Colonel Klink.

Well, in that case,
I'll tell you about your lips.

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0