All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s05e07 Bombsight.eng

( theme song playing )

( Schultz hurrying prisoners )

( Hogan's gang complaining )

That goes for you,
too, Newkirk.

What's the matter
with you, Newkirk?

It's such
a nice day out, Schultz.

Blimey, the birds are singing
on the machine gun nests,

sun glistening
on the barbed wire.

I have my orders.

Hey, Schultz,
what's going on outside that we cannot see...

Oh, come on,
one little peek.

You are not
supposed

to look out
of the window.

That's
another order.

( all clamoring )

Hold it!
hold it, fellas!

I'm surprised at you.

He has his orders.

We owe him a little cooperation.

Oh, thank you,
Colonel Hogan.

Well, his orders are

that nobody's to look
out the window because...

What's out there
that we're not supposed to know about, Schultz?

You're not supposed to
look out of the window

because we are
bringing in...

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

I know nothing,
I see nothing.

I say nothing!

Okay, Schultz.

All right.

Fellas.

Newkirk, on the double, outside.

Watch the windows.

Wait a minute--
hold it, hold it.

What do you mean,
he's going outside?

It's a two-man job, Schultz.

You watch from the inside,
he watches from the outside.

That way you can be
absolutely certain

nobody's going to look out.

Right.

I'm watching from the inside

and he watches from the outside?

Now, the rest of you,
hands over your eyes

and no peeking
till Schultz says all clear.

This is silly.

Orders are orders.

( whistle blows )

Aha-- all is clear.

It's all right now.

Everything went off
perfect, Schultz.

Not an eyeball
at the window.

See, Schultz, we may be
decadent warmongers,

but one thing we're not
is peekers.

Another thing--
we are expecting

some very important
big-shot visitors,

so the camp has to be kept
especially neat and clean.

Oh...

Commandant Klink requests
no shenanigans, please.

You can tell Klink,
I promise.

He's going to get
just what's good for him.

Thank you...
Colonel Hogan.

They were carrying stuff
into the supply shack,

big crates
marked "Hühnerhabicht."

"Hühnerhabicht"?

Huhn.

Huhn means "chicken" in German.

They're delivering
chicken?

Hey, that must be

why all the big brass
are coming.

It's a party.

Klink's going to have
a chicken fry.

"Habicht, Habicht."

Hawk.

"Chicken hawk."

Sounds like a code name
of some kind.

Something's going on--
something big.

Did you replace the microphone
in Klink's office yet?

Haven't had a chance--
too many security checks.

Go out and grab
some wild flowers, Carter.

Kinch, I need a transmitter.

KINCH:
Right.

I don't like this
"chicken hawk" business.

I have a strange feeling
that we're the chickens.

Ah.

Good morning, Colonel.

I'm busy, Hogan-- dismissed.

Lovely, lovely day.

Here, compliments of
the U.S. Air Force in exile.

( hums cheerily )

There, that's better, mm-hmm.

Flowers, eh?

Yeah, yeah,
Schultz mentioned

you were going to have
some very important visitors

and we wanted
the office to look nice.

Yes, and you're bringing
me flowers, eh?

You are not curious why the
officials are coming, eh?

Why you were not permitted

to observe our little
activities this morning?

You are here to get
some information, aren't you, Hogan?

Colonel, I've always said,
your camp is our camp.

We want to make
a good impression.

You think it needs
more greens?

Hogan, I'm on to you.

You're wasting my time
and your time.

You're not going to get
one word out of me.

Huh?

Oh, I understand.

Prime rule
of a good officer.

Shoot straight
and no snitching.

Precisely.

Yeah, wouldn't have it
any other way.

Ah, General Burkhalter.

How very nice
to see you.

Have you heard
the wonderful news, sir?

Have you transferred
to the navy?

The navy?

The chicken hawks--
they're here.

I know.
I ordered them.

Now, have they put
a new lock on your safe?

Yes, sir,
they have.

Good-- I don't want
to take any chances

with these blueprints.

The chicken hawks will be
taken to the airfield

just before the test
Thursday afternoon.

The entire general
staff will be here.

Sir, we'll be ready.

And may I say that I'm flattered

that Stalag 13 was
chosen for the test.

Doubtless it
is because of my distinguished record

and my
security measures.

And because a POW camp

is safe from
Allied air raids.

BURKHALTER:
And it has a good view of the target areas.

And maybe also because
if something goes wrong,

we will not lose
anything important.

( chuckles nervously )

So that's what they are-- bombs.

KLINK ( over radio ):
Sir, I know that the chicken hawks

are dropped from planes,

but what's so special
about that?

It's the aiming device
on each bomb.

It zeros in
on any radio transmission.

These bombs
will automatically find

enemy command posts,
radar-- everything.

Klink, this will
win the war for us.

Incredible.

KLINK:
Sir, tell me, how does this aiming device work?

BURKHALTER:
Very simple, Klink.

Even you
will understand it.

The secret is
right in the tip...

( sneezes )
Gesundheit.

( Burkhalter sneezes again )
Gesundheit.

What are those?

Just some flowers.

With my hay fever?

Get rid of them.

( sneezes forcefully )

( sneezes again )

( sneezes )

( vase breaks )

( static )

Isn't it something?

We could lose World War II
because of a sneeze.

That bomb "chicken hawk"
is nothing to sneeze at.

We've got to grab one,
find out what makes it tick.

How are we
going to do that?

By making a raid
in the chicken coop.

Excuse me.

NEWKIRK:
Hey, I say they got no right

to make us flipping
shovel with it.

( all complaining )

SCHULTZ:
What's the fuss all about?

HOGAN:
Well, you can't blame them:

"Pick up this,
clean up that."

So what if Göring is coming,
Goebbels or any of them.

We didn't invite them.

Göring? Goebbels?

Next you'll be asking us

to shine the barbed wire
or clean inside the warehouse.

That's right.

Well, I say
you can forget it.

But I didn't...

Sure, the field marshal
will say,

"Whose idea was it to
clean up this place so nice?

"Oh, Sergeant Schultz, huh?

For him a ten-day pass."

Well, I say you can't
force my men to do it.

A ten-day...

Who says I can't?

I say they do,
and if I say, they do.

It isn't fair.

What do you mean,
it isn't fair?

You go in there and you clean up
and make it look sparkly.

You understand?

All of you.

HOGAN:
To think you'd do that to them

just for a lousy ten-day pass.

Now, wait--
no backtalk.

Oh... Achtung.

What's going on here, Schultz?

I have the
prisoners clean up

the warehouse,
Herr Kommandant.

I thought it would
be a very good idea.

Sergeant Hans Schultz,
serial number 34789.

Very well, Schultz.

Dummkopf!

No one is allowed
in there!

My orders exactly,
Herr General.

Colonel Hogan,
take your prisoners

back to the barracks
immediately.

All right, fellas.

Thank you, Colonel.

I knew it wasn't right.

At least someone around here
is making sense.

We could saw through
some of these floorboards.

Then when all the generals
get on the stand-- boom!

LeBeau,
you've got an evil mind.

Oh, you're just saying that.

KINCH:
That wouldn't solve our problem.

We've still got to grab
one of those bombs.

CARTER:
Any plans?

Not the
foggiest.

Hold the phone.

You just said
the magic word.

I did?

The plans,
the blueprints.

Burkhalter put them
in Klink's safe.

Having them'd be better
than having the bomb.

Klink's safe's no problem, sir.

I'll have them out
in half a tick.

Not so fast.

Klink had
the lock changed.

t's dodgy.

We'll just have
to go to the colonel

and have him show us
the combination.

Just like that?

Why not?
Under the circumstances,

it's the least
he can do for us.

Come on, Newkirk.

So you want me to keep
your watch here for you.

Why, Hogan?

Can't we just say
as a favor, sir,

and let it go
at that?

No, we can't.

Now, what's this
all about?

Oh, I'd rather have
my tongue cut out

than have to admit it,

but, well,
I'm afraid there's a...

there's a thief
among us in the barracks.

A thief?

One of your men?

Yeah, for the very first time

I... I don't think
we deserve to win the war.

But stealing?

Hogan, are you certain?

Yesterday the pegs
from our cribbage board,

before that,
Carter's soap carving of Rin Tin Tin,

and just this morning
a pair of socks and our pet mouse.

But those are trifles.

Trifles to you, sir,
but remember,

we're men
who have nothing.

They're treasures to us.

That mouse was
awfully good company.

And, sir, I just
have a feeling

that watch is
going to be next.

It's priceless to me.

It was given to me by
my dear old grandmother.

She bought it
with her egg money.

All right,
I'll keep it for you.

Isn't there a more
secure place, sir?

Oh, come now.

You don't expect me
to keep it in my safe?

That would be perfect.

Then I could sleep.

Not for me, sir,
for Granny.

Just until
the thief is found.

That's quite impossible.

The safe is for
official business only.

Yeah, I...
I understand, sir.

You take it.

I'd rather you have it

than some contemptible
sneak thief.

It's a gift--
it's yours.

Why, thank you, Hogan.

You're welcome.

I'll just put it in my safe.

Wise move, sir.

Uh-uh-- wait, wait, wait.

You stay right there.

A little more
to the right.

That's it-- hold it.

NEWKIRK:
Nine.

Forty-one.

Fifty-eight.

And seven.

Now, Hogan, is there anything
I can do for you, hmm?

No, sir, you've done
more than enough, believe me.

Just one thing, sir.

We've done a little
landscaping outside.

Would you
like to inspect it?

I'm much
too busy, please.

Well, sir, it'll just
take a minute.

I know you
want everything

to look right
for the visitors.

Well, if it'll
just take a minute.

Okay.

Yeah, we rearranged
these rocks, sir, and painted them.

It's very nice.

Yeah, we wanted
to plant some flowers,

spell out "Klink"
in marigolds,

but there wasn't time.

It's fine like it is.

The real change is
over by the flagpole.

If you'll
just come with me.

I can't--
I have to call General Burkhalter.

No, no, sir!

It'll have to wait.

Colonel, Colonel!

Well,
Colonel Hogan?

Well, Hogan...

what's this man
doing here?

I think it's
quite obvious, sir.

No question about it:

This man came to steal.

He was after my watch.

You mean
my watch.

So you're
the barracks thief, huh?

Shame, Newkirk,
for shame.

I should have that watch.

My mum promised
she'd get me a watch

when I enlisted,
and she never did.

Why should you have
a watch and not me?

I should have
that watch--

I was promised.

I'm sure your
trained mind

has already
diagnosed this, sir.

A man with
shaky moral values to begin with,

then the long
confinement.

No question--

mental aberration,
acute kleptomania.

My thoughts exactly.

I should see to it
personally.

If I might
suggest, Colonel,

leave his punishment
to me.

Why should you?

I don't understand...

Putting it
bluntly, sir,

you'd be far
too lenient.

You're too
forgiving a man--

too compassionate.

This man has committed
a very serious crime.

No question about it,

he broke into
your office, sir--

the commandant's
office.

Come, Newkirk.

Don't let him
take me, sir!

Don't let him
take me, please...

Now stop that!

You know
my decision;

you go
with the colonel.

Newkirk!

Say good-bye to
the nice colonel.

Good-bye, nice colonel.

Newkirk...

Your mom promised
you this, too?

Sorry, sir.

Well, we did
all we could.

Can't win
'em all.

Yeah, but this
is a big one.

This could lose us
the whole ball game.

Well, the test isn't
until this afternoon.

I have an idea, Colonel.

You know,
we could radio London

and ask them to send
some bombers over

and just clobber
that warehouse.

One little detail,
our barracks--

they're right next
to the warehouse.

Well, we could ask them
to be extra careful.

That would help.

Well, at least
somebody's happy.

HOGAN:
What's up?

Why shouldn't
he be happy?

He's got a reason.

HOGAN:
He's also got something else-- the blueprints.

LeBeau, can you make up
a roll of paper like that?

Right, Colonel.

Good-- Newkirk, get
your camera ready.

Colonel, you can't steal
those blueprints

out of Klink's hand
in broad daylight.

I wouldn't do a
thing like that.

Stealing's a no-no--
ask Newkirk.

We're just
going to make a little swap.

I want them
absolutely straight!

You understand?
Absolutely straight!

And I want every one
of those chairs to shine.

Glad we caught
you, sir.

All right,
over there, LeBeau, huh?

I want you
to sign this, sir.

It's authorization
for us

to discipline
Newkirk.

Very well, very well.

Finally
decided on

an appropriate
punishment for him.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Wait a minute,
it says here

that you're going
to shoot him.

Yes, sir--
at dawn tomorrow.

Don't forget
your middle initial.

You can't shoot
your own man!

We can shoot him,
but you can't.

Why can you
do something we can't do?

But, Colonel Hogan...

Well, I mean,
if you were

in an American
prisoner-of-war camp

and another German
wanted to shoot you, we'd let him.

But that's different.

We'll pay for
the bullets.

We got money
in our welfare fund.

No, no shooting him--
you can't do that.

I knew you'd be
too lenient.

All right...
I'll think of something else.

All right,
fellas!

Kinch,
come on!

KINCH:
Right, Colonel.

Let's make
this place shine!

That's awful.

What a terrible officer.

He's even worse
than our own...

And hurry it up,
Newkirk.

We got to get
those plans back fast.

Oh, uh, Colonel?

We changed
Newkirk's punishment

to solitary
confinement.

Ah, good, good, good.

Would you
sign these?

Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

Uh, Schultz, your button.

Oh, boy...

You want to look neat
when they arrive.

SCHULTZ:
Thank you.

HOGAN:
Yeah...

There... Good.

Did you sign
all three copies, sir?

Three times,
mm-hmm. Okay.

Ah! There's the general now.

Good.

All right, Kinch.

Let's keep it tidy.

There you go...

Halt!

Yeah, I'll take it.

No, no, no, no,
allow me.

You did me a favor;
I do you a favor.

Yeah...
Good, Schultz.

I'll have
that film developed

in about ten minutes.

Just don't let any light
in here, right?

KINCH:
Right.

HOGAN:
All right, Kinch, contact the Underground.

We want that film
in London just as fast...

Hold it.

Ah, gentlemen, relaxing?

Uh, yes, sir,
just relaxing.

You've earned it,
you've worked very hard.

I have never seen
the camp look any better.

CARTER:
Thank you, sir.

Uh, Colonel Hogan...

the other prisoner,
Corporal Newkirk, where is he?

Newkirk?
Um...

He's in there,
solitary confinement.

Like I said,
he's coming along fine,

but we thought it best.

You're probably
right-- poor man.

On the other hand,
a day like this,

I revoke all
punishment.

We will
give everyone

a good reason
to celebrate.

( chuckling merrily )

You can come out now,
all is forgiven.

What are you doing?

I'm just
rinsing out some socks, sir.

Oh...

Well, all
your privileges have been restored.

You see, gentlemen,

when you're
all nice to me,

I can be nice to you.

Camera crews
have their instructions?

Of course,
Herr General.

They will all
take positions

in a big
circle around the target area

and we shall get
films of the test from every angle.

And you are sure

all radios
have been removed

from the vehicles?

Yes, sir.

And may I say
how pleased I am

to have had such
an important part

in this
very big event?

Well... it's a great
day for the Irish.

Yeah, I feel like
I'm walking up a gangplank

and there's no ship.

Well, we can always
say we tried.

Came darn close.

There's just one hope:

We can only pray
those bombs don't work.

Or maybe we can pray
they do work.

You want
them to work?

I can't
believe it...

our own colonel,
a traitor!

Relax, Carter, I'm still
one of the good guys.

Maybe we've been going
at this thing all wrong.

It's impossible
to get the plans

and the secret
to the bomb,

so instead let's just
discredit it.

Oh, discredit it?

Yeah.

Go over
to the supply shack,

get an armful
of walkie-talkies.

Right, Colonel.

They may have the hawk,
but we're going to give them

a whole new mess of chickens
to shoot at.

BURKHALTER:
Gentlemen, we are ready.

Our target is that small
building out there.

From here, those wires
go to the target,

turn on the radio transmitter
inside that building.

The bombing plane is in position

and will drop the bombs
at ten-second intervals

in exactly... 30 seconds.

Now, gentlemen,
keep your eyes on the target.

I think
you'll find it most interesting.

Turn on
the target transmitter.

Turn on the
target transmitter.

( transmitter begins humming )

( drone of approaching plane )

( bombs whistling )

Target time is...

Something has
gone wrong!

We've got
to tell that plane

not to drop
any more bombs.

Luftwaffe X10, Luftwaffe X10,
no more bombs!

No more!

Klink!

No, not the radio!

But I have to tell
the planes, I...

( explosion )

Oh, Colonel, don't
worry about a thing.

We'll have it cleaned up
in no time at all.

All right, work detail.
Right, sir.

Boy, they sure
aren't making cars

like they used to, huh?

Good news, Colonel.

Newkirk has snapped
out of it completely,

so now I can wear
my watch again, I'd like it back.

You couldn't
wear it anyway;

it would look
like a bribe.

Who cares?

Remarkable recovery, sir.

Replaced the cribbage pegs,

gave Carter back
his soap carving.

He even gave us back
our pet mouse.

Here.

It certainly is
a happy day.

( telephone ringing )

Colonel Klink
speaking.

Oh, yes, General...

a complete failure,
yes.

You've canceled
all further development?

Mm-hmm.
Oh, yes, sir,

I have a copy of the
damage list right here.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I left out something?

Your command car?

General,
that would take

a long time
on a colonel's pay.

Hello? Hello?!

What did happen
yesterday, sir?

Was that an American
bomber attack?

I didn't know
they came this far.

No, it wasn't
an American attack, it was...

No, it wasn't!

Oh.

Thanks for
keeping the watch.

Ticktock, ticktock, ticktock.

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