All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s04e18 My Favorite Prisoner.eng

( theme song playing )

( polka music playing )

( people talking indistinctly )

HOGAN:
And evening like this, and, uh...

Ah, Schultz, thank you.

Would you like a drink,
Hogan?

Oh, thank you.

Thank you, Schultz.

This is a very amusing
little party, isn't it, Hogan?

You're awfully friendly
tonight, Commandant.

Anything wrong?

Oh, come, now,
we're not all bad, are we?

No, but you'll do

until something
bad comes along.

Very amusing.

Colonel Klink.
Mm.

You have been
neglecting me.

Oh, my dear Baroness,
that would be impossible.

May I present
the Baroness von Krimm?

You certainly may.

And this is
my favorite prisoner

of this or any other war,
Colonel Robert Hogan.

Baroness.
Colonel Hogan.

Uh, would you excuse me,
my dear?

Well... a tall,
good-looking man for a change,

and I thought this party
was going to be such a bore.

Keep talking.

You're raising the fur
on the back of my neck.

What is it you Americans
always say, mm...

"Where have you been
all my life?"

Right here.
I don't go out much anymore.

Of course. You're a prisoner.

It only hurts when I'm awake.

You live in Hammelburg?

Mm. Part of the year.

We have a nice, little house
just outside of town.

I'd love for you
to see it sometime.

Ah, so would I, but
I have an arrangement

with the management:

I don't escape,
and they don't shoot me.

Well, if you ever do escape,
Colonel...

please drop in.

Keep a swastika
burning in the window.

( chuckles )

Excuse me, Colonel,

but I couldn't help
overhearing

you and the baroness
talking.

Maybe because you
were listening.

How else could I hear?

Mm-hmm.
She's nice, the baroness.

Ooh-la-la.

Very definitely
ooh-la-la.

( clears throat ):
I can arrange it for you to... see her.

Why would you do
a thing like that?

Because I'm your friend.

When did that happen?

I can arrange for you to slip
out from camp tomorrow night,

and I have a car waiting
for you in the woods.

How many candy bars?

None.

We pay off for every other favor
around here.

This is free, a bonus...

because we are friends,
and because...

the whole world loves...
a lover.

You're a big man,
Schultz, big...

but take my advice, huh?

Don't drive.

Who is driving?

Schultz, more drinks over here.

Yes, Herr Kommandant.

Did you fix him?

Yes, Herr Kommandant,

I fixed it for
tomorrow night.

Excellent. Well done.

Yes, Colonel, not bad,
if I may say so myself.

( laughing )

Wow.

They didn't tell us about this
in basic training.

What is basic training?

They train you to fight.

Oh... and obviously,
you're well trained.

Where did you take yours?

You're a baroness.

Does that mean
there's a baron?

Yes. He commands
a panzer unit

at Stalingrad.

What else is new?

What's it like, being in
a prisoner-of-war camp?

Well...

you're expecting me
to say it's bad.

It's not. It's terrible.

( slightly chuckles )

Don't you ever
try to escape?

All the time.

Poor man.

I wish there was some
way I could help you.

Keep trying.
You're on the right track.

But isn't
it your duty

to try and get
away from there?

I mean, don't you have
a... plan for escape?

Yeah, we do have a tunnel.

A tunnel. How exciting.

Oh, yeah, it's a beauty.

It's big enough
for two-way traffic,

lights, air vents.

Perfect engineering.

And you talk about it
with so much pride.

Why not?
Took a long time to build.

We even have a name
for it.

We call it
the Holland Tunnel.

The Holland Tunnel?
Mm-hmm.

Only one problem: it's between
New York and New Jersey.

( laughs )

Your men must be very clever.

HOGAN:
They are. They're the greatest.

Herr Kommandant,

how do you
spell "Holland"?

Oh, you idiot,
he's just being cagey.

Oh...

How do you
spell "cagey"?

Shh! Listen.

Why are they so quiet?

With a woman like that,

why should a man
waste time talking?

( chuckling )

London's transmitting,
Colonel.

Urgent message.

Decode it as it
comes in, huh?

Right.

All right, where was I?

Well, you
were sitting

with your arms
around the baroness

when you spotted
the microphone

in the lamp next
to the couch.

Was that your single
standard pickup job, or...

Never mind that.

What happened,
Colonel?

Right, sir,
get on with it.

Bloody suspense
is unbearable.

All right.

Well, first I considered
smothering the mike,

but then I figured

as long as I was there,
and she was, um...

Yeah, yeah.
Yeah?

So I decided
I'd play along.

Exactly what I
would have done.

Sure. You're a Frenchman.

What's wrong
with that?

Nothing. I just mean
all that funny stuff with girls.

After two years here,

there's nothing
funny about it.

Right. Toujours LeBeau, mate,
and don't you bloody forget it.

Here you are, Colonel.
Oh, thanks, Kinch.

London will drop
a man in tomorrow night.

Special orders.
Top secret. Urgent.

They'll try
for Sector X-19.

All right, Carter, LeBeau,
meet him, bring him in, huh?

Right, Colonel.
Kinch, acknowledge that

and tell them we'll
be there, huh?

All right, Colonel,
but, uh,

hold off on that story
about the baroness,

will you,
till I get through?

Man does not live
by radio alone.

Yeah, you didn't
miss much, Kinch.

Klink tried to
set a trap for me,

but he's really
so obvious.

I mean, I should
feel insulted.

I'd teach him a lesson.

I'd never see that
baroness again.

Carter, I said "insulted,"
not "crazy."

( airplane flying overhead )

Here we are, sir,
just like Mother used to make.

Thank you, Corporal.

These are invasion plans:

Operation Anvil.

Right. Rather a proper
sounding name, don't you think?

Oh, rather.

These are actually
instructions

to the underground
for coordinated action

with an invading force.

And you want the krauts
to get this?

Well, that's what
the brass in London have in mind.

Boy, I don't think so.

Captain Sears, may I see
a driver's license, please?

Operation Anvil is a
complete fake, phony,

but the Nazis must
believe that it is absolutely genuine.

Well, how are we supposed
to convince 'em,

walk up to 'em
and whisper in their ears?

London wants the Germans
to steal the plans

and to think
they have stolen

an important secret.

Yeah, I'll give you
an important secret:

It's impossible.

But you must've
made some contacts

with the Germans here.

Most of our friends
are enemies.

Colonel, what about
the baroness?

Yeah, the krauts think
they've set me up

in a trap
with the local baroness.

And a lovely trap
it is, too.

He's not struggling
to get out.

People are
beginning to talk.

Colonel, you could take
the plans with you

next time you go to see
the baroness, uh, drop a hint.

She's sure to steal them.

Good plan, Colonel.

Yeah, it's beautiful,
beautiful--

a prisoner of war
with invasion plans on me.

The Gestapo'd be in on the act
like that.

They wouldn't just suspect
the plans.

They'd run 'em right back
to here and shut us down...

with a firing squad.

I told you the
baroness was no good.

I think the colonel's
quite right, lads.

Your-your plan's too simple.
It wouldn't work.

The Jerries would tumble to it
in a flash.

I think he's
right, you know?

Hold it, hold it.

Let's not dump
the baroness that quick.

I was just thinking,
if we handle it carefully,

we may be able to use her
as a starting point.

Take her for a nice walk
up the garden path.

Boy, people are really
going to start talking.

I mean, you-you're
going to...

you're going to
get rumors going

about you and
the baroness, boy.

It-it's embarrassing.

Just a simple little plan
to get information, Major.

May I remind you

that you are in
the Luftwaffe,

not the Gestapo,
not the Abwehr?

Oh, I admit I have nothing to do
with intelligence.

That is obvious
to all of us.

( laughs )

I mean, it's obvious to me, too,
Herr Kommandant.

After all,
we are the Luftwaffe.

And the Luftwaffe needs men
at the Russian front.

Up to and including
the rank of colonel.

Oh, oh, please, Major,

uh, perhaps I overstepped
my authority slightly,

but I have always thought
of myself

as an all-purpose officer.

Good. That would be fine

if our purpose was
to lose the war.

I thought we were trying to win.

Shut up.

The baroness has
been a Gestapo agent

since the beginning
of the war.

I will not have
her effectiveness

compromised
by amateurs.

You are requesting, then,
that we discontinue our plan?

No, I am
requesting nothing.

I order it
stopped at once!

Request approved.

Thank you.

Shame, Herr Kommandant.

Just when we were...

Would you please shut up?
Wait.

Sometimes out of the mouths
of babes and fools...

Speak up, Schultz.

Well... Colonel Hogan
asked me

if he could leave the camp
tonight again

to see the baroness.

What did you tell him?

I said, "Yes."

Kommandant Klink's orders.

You fool! I warned you
not to listen to me

unless I tell you to.
Just a minute.

Go through
with the arrangement.

Let him visit the baroness
one more time.

If he is so anxious
to see her,

perhaps he will reveal
some information.

Brilliant thinking,
Major Hochstetter,

brilliant thinking.

Ja. Too bad
it isn't contagious.

SCHULTZ:
Ja, ja, ja, ja, ja, ja,

ja, ja, ja...

( speaking German )

Raus, raus, heraus.

( speaking German )

Here we are, sir,
right through this tunnel.

Up the ladder,
into the woods,

and you'll see the
road right there.

You can't miss it--
and Colonel Hogan

will be waiting for
you when you get there.

Right, Corporal.

My word, you chaps
are well organized here.

Ah, that we are, sir.

We may come back
after the war

and open a tea shop.

It is impossible.

An RAF officer
cannot stay here.

Just hide him
for a few days.

He won't be any trouble.

Quite. All I require
is an occasional cup of tea.

But where did
you find him?

He dropped in unexpectedly
on the end of a parachute.

I was walking in the town,
saw this chap go by

wearing an American uniform
and followed him here.

But those clothes...

Rather dreadful,
aren't they?

I, uh, I stole them.

And if he's caught
wearing civilian clothes,

he'll be shot as a spy.

In that case,
I must tidy up a bit.

Come on, Baroness,
give him a break.

But I cannot.

You know the penalty
for harboring the enemy?

It's just for a few days.

She must not let
the Englishman get away.

She's only trying
to be convincing.

She's putting on an act
for them.

Then I'd stop worrying.

She convinced me.

Now I'm worried again.

BARONESS:
But it's too dangerous.

Absolutely out
of the question.

He can stay
in the cellar.

Thanks for changing
your mind.

What choice did I have?

Now I'll get something
to eat for you,

and some blankets.

Why don't you sit down?

Thank you very much,
indeed.

Well done, old chap.

Really?

( chuckling )

I'm out of
practice-- the war.

Of course, but jolly good
anyhow, eh?

Shh.

So, uh, you
bailed out, huh?

What happened?

Catch a load of flak?

Colonel,

there is
something urgent

and top secret
I must tell you.

I am not
an RAF officer.

No!

SEARS:
I'm a courier--

British Intelligence,
Section Five.

What? You bailed
out deliberately?

Right. My mission is
to deliver these plans

to the underground.

Invasion plans!

Indeed.
Orders to the underground

for coordinated action
once it begins.

That's dynamite.

Did you hear...?
Shh!

I will wait
for the underground

to contact me.

The recognition code
for passing the plans is...

Don't tell me.

I don't want
to get involved.

You get caught
with these plans,

I'm in trouble, too.

I have a way
of destroying them.

I will only give them
to a special contact.

A man carrying a newspaper
under his arm

is to approach me and say,
"The birds fly south,"

and my answer must be,
"Before the first snow."

That's exactly
what I'm going to do--

fly south right back
to that nice, safe P.O.W. camp.

Colonel, I need your help.

You listen to me.

I'm locked up
in the toughest P.O.W. camp

in all of Germany,

with a kraut commandant
who's just waiting

to call room service
to order a firing squad.

I can't wait to get back
to Bridgeport, Connecticut,

so I can start making
a fool of myself with the girls again.

So count me out.

My mission is urgent.

So is mine.

I want to stay alive

so I can cash
my war bonds.

Well, I seem to have caught
a fair-sized rabbit.

Yes, in my trap.

( chuckling )

Major, let us give
this matter

careful consideration
before we reach any decision.

Oh, by all means, ja.

Baroness, you will go
back in there.

Keep them occupied.

Jawohl, Herr Major.

Schultz,

go back to Stalag 13,
put on civilian clothes

and return here at once.

You will make contact
with the Englander

and pick up the plans.

Me, a member
of the underground?

He will never believe it,
Herr Major.

Why not?

I look too military.

He will believe it.

The recognition code is,
"The birds fly south."

You will say that,
and he will reply,

"Before the first snow."

Eight words-- can
you memorize it?

Leave it to me,
Herr Major.

I have it right in here.

Good. On your way.

( clicks heels )

Now I must call
my headquarters

and have them
send over some men

to arrest the Englander.

Tell me, Klink, have
you reached a decision?

Major, this matter
is of such great importance,

there's only one thing
we can do:

sleep on it.

I thought that's
what you were doing.

I must say, Baroness,
you make a lovely cup of tea,

considering you're a Ger...

Oh, sorry.

Didn't know
you were occupied.

Carry on.

I'd better be getting back
to the dormitory.

Oh, not yet, please.

Yeah, they lock the door
at 11:00.

The house mother gets mad.

Mmm.
However...

( knock at door )

( knocking )

Guten Abend.

Abend.

Excuse me, gnadige Frau,

but, uh, I'm looking
for a friend... of mine.

Here?

Ja.

I thought I saw him

come into this house.

Is this the man?

I won't be sure until...

The snow flies to the south.

I beg your pardon?

The snow drops
on the birds?

I think he's trying
to tell you something.

And making a bloody
awful job of it.

The snow flies south
before it happens to the birds?

Could you, by
any chance, mean,

"The birds fly south
before the first snow"?

Doesn't sound right,
but it's not bad.

It's perfect.

Stay where you are!

You are under arrest!

Take him to
headquarters.

Raus! Raus!

The birds fly north? No.

The birds fly south,

but the north birds
fly to the...

South birds
fly to the north.

You really think we're going

to take Captain Sears
away from the krauts?

That's right,
and before they get

a chance
to work him over.

And just how are we supposed
to do that, sir?

Walk into Gestapo headquarters
and get him.

I'm glad I asked.

That puts my
mind at ease, too.

Voila-- pull him out.

All right,
here's Gestapo headquarters.

He's got to be
in one of these cells here.

Newkirk and Carter
in uniform.

Kinch, I want you to steal
a car from the motor pool.

Right.

All right, they walk
into Gestapo headquarters

with the suspect
for questioning.

You drop
a few smoke grenades,

you go and get the captain,
bring him back here.

We turn him over
to the underground.

They get him back
to England.

Hmm, just like
falling off a log.

Yeah, and the next falling
we do right after that

is in front
of a bloody firing squad.

Sir, you said
a suspect?

Yeah: LeBeau.

Uh, you found him loitering
near a munitions factory.

You arrested him.
He's a Frenchman.

He's a foreigner-- suspicious.

Colonel, I have talent
for other things.

I could pose as
almost anybody.

Why must I always
pose as a Frenchman?

I don't know, LeBeau.

Just something about you.

Oh-ho-ho.

Now, everything
all set?

What about
Major Hochstetter, sir?

Suppose he's
at Gestapo headquarters?

He won't be.

I'll have Schultz
arrange another date

with the baroness
for me.

Hochstetter will be
in the other room listening.

He just can't resist.

Then you take care
of the diversion

with the baroness,
right?

Diversion?

Mm-hmm, you could put it
that way.

Mm-hmm.

( Schultz yelling )

It's only us!
It's only us again!

Let him go!
Let him go out!

Hogan is not talking much
tonight.

At the moment,
I imagine

he has better
things to do.

Don't worry, Klink.

We will hear
from him later.

You...

you are marvelous.

Sometimes war brings out
the best in a man.

And after the war,
what will you do?

Pretty much the same thing,
I hope.

Mmm.

You caught him
near the munitions factory?

Ja, acting
very suspicious.

What was he doing?

Nothing. That's what
made us suspicious.

Certainly a man has the right
to do nothing if he wants.

Since when?

Obviously a new man.

What is your name?

Bah!

That's rude.

He keeps making
that noise.

We will change that,
I assure you.

Bah!

Your name and rank,
bitte.

Oh, uh, me?

Uh, just
call me Fritz.

For the record,
please.

Oh. Well, uh, I'm, um,
Oberkellner Hausmann.

Oberkellner?

That's a headwaiter.

Was ist los?

I've always
called him Fritz.

Ja, that's me-- Fritz.

I'm afraid
that's not good enough.

All right, hold
it right there.

Okay, pal, you
want to tell me

which cell the
English captain's in?

Nine.

So, you won't
talk, huh?

He means number nine, stupid.
Let's go.

I beg your pardon.

Come on.

Come on.

Good show, chaps!

Thanks. Get inside.

OFFICER:
Help! Help, guard! Help!

( yelling in German )

( coughing )

When? How many of them?

I see-- Gestapo uniforms, eh?

All right, search every house
in the area.

Heil Hitler.

The Englander has been
taken from headquarters.

The undergrounds,
they got away.

Gestapo headquar...
right under your very noses.

( laughing )

Ooh, that's
a very serious offense.

Hogan!
Hogan.

Hogan!

Commandant,
what are you doing here?

And what are you doing here?

A prisoner has been taken
from Gestapo headquarters.

Has Hogan left this room
at all this evening?

He has not,
Herr Major.

Yeah, you can say
that again.

I will begin an
investigation at once.

And if you know
what is good for you, Hogan,

you will cooperate.

Gentlemen, if you need me,
you know where to find me,

but next time, knock, huh?

I am not satisfied with
your answers, Hogan.

Neither am I.

It figures.

I warn you, this
investigation

will go on
relentlessly

until we find
that Englander.

Major, can I help
in any way?

Ja, Klink, there
is one vital thing.

Stay out of this,
beginning right now!

I cannot stand
that man.

Commandant,
request permission

to see the
baroness again.

Denied. Why should
you have a good time

when the rest of us
are fighting a war?

Has it ever
occurred to you

that the baroness may
know a little more

about the Englishman?

After all, he
went to her house.

That is no concern
of yours.

I'm trying to help you.

How?

Well, suppose, just suppose,

you were to plant a microphone
in her living room.

Why?

And I went to see her,
got her started talking,

and you listened
in the other room.

That's an ingenious idea.

Shall we try it, sir?

Let me think it over
for a day or two.

Fine. Can't ask
for more than that.

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