All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e29 Monkey Business.eng

( theme song playing )

( explosions in background )
Come in.

Royal Navy 371,
come in, please.

Over.

I wonder why we're having
such trouble contacting the British sub.

Maybe they've
stopped for tea.

I find that in very
bad taste, old boy.

Royal Navy 371 calling
Stalag 13.

Come in, Stalag 13.

Over.

Colonel Hogan here.

Glad you could read us.

We were getting worried

when you didn't
answer our call.

Nothing to worry about, old boy.

The Jerries have had
a destroyer tracking us,

but we've managed to give him
the slip just in time for tea.

( explosions )

One lump, Willoughby, please.

Tell London I have
a message for them.

Oh, righto.

Stand by.

Uh... Royal Navy calling
London G2.

Come in, London.

Colonel Wembley.

Yes, Sergeant.

We've just made contact
with a sub.

They have a message
from Stalag 13.

Well, that may be
the message

to say Hogan
has made contact

with the underground.

Go ahead,
Royal Navy 371.

I'm in contact with London,
Stalag 13.

Go ahead.

Tell London that
our man Carter

is delivering
a spare part

so the underground can
repair their transmitter.

Hogan says his man Carter
is now delivering

that spare part
to the underground.

Did you get
that message, sir?

Good show.

The underground
needs that part

for their transmitter
desperately.

Oh, uh... send along
congratulations

to Hogan and all his chaps.

I relayed your message
to London,

and G2 sends along
his congratulations to all you chaps.

Thank you.
Over and out.

( bombs whistling )

( explosions outside )

I hope you didn't
build up their hopes.

That's some show
the 8th Air Force is putting on.

They must be bombing
that ball bearing factory outside of town.

Carter will
get through.

He's got to
get through.

The underground's
going to radio London

some German troop
movements in time for a probing raid.

Sir, I'm not putting
a knock on Carter--

you know I think he's
a splendid fellow,

and he did
a marvelous job

building that part
for the transmitter--

but I just think you
should have sent me out

to deliver it to
the underground.

Not at teatime,
old boy.

( explosions )

( P.O.W.s shouting )

Carter should have been
back by now.

Maybe he waited for
the bombing to stop

before he started back.

The air raid's
been over two hours.

Want me to have
a look around, Colonel?

Let's give him
a few more minutes.

SCHULTZ:
Everybody restricted to the barracks.

Give me the ball.

Come on, come on, come on,
give me the ball.

Give me the ball!

Everybody restricted
to the barracks.

You're not playing catch.

Come on, Schultz.

Not again.

Please don't...

Those are
Commandant Klink's orders.

Give me the ball.

You're going to put me
to trouble.

Please!

Everybody restricted
to the barracks.

Why are we all
restricted, Schultz?

Because there's
a shortage of guards.

How many guards
deserted this time?

No German
soldier ever deserts!

I'd like
to be in Switzerland

with the sauerbraten
concession, Schultz.

What happened
to all the guards?

They're in
the woods,

chasing lions and elephants

and leopards
and who knows what.

HOGAN:
Schultz, I thought you didn't hit the schnapps

when you're on duty.

No, it's true.

One of your bombers smashed
and demolished

the ball bearing factory
next to the Hammelburg Zoo.

You mean to say
the old zoo got hit

and all those
wild animals are running loose?

The woods are
full of them.

You should have volunteered
for the hunt then, Schultz.

You could have gotten
your wife a fur coat cheap.

They would like me
to go in the woods

with all those animals, huh?

I happen to be
an animal lover,

and I think you'd make
a great sit-down dinner for six lions.

Funny, funny.

Jolly joker.

Everybody's restricted
to the barracks,

and I'll come back
for a roll call.

You understand?

Now, back to the barracks.

Back, back, back.

Schnell!

Mach schnell!

Everybody back
to the barracks.

Well, we got some great news.

The zoo got hit in the raid.

All the animals
busted out of cages.

No kidding.

Yeah, let's hope
that Carter got to the underground

before the
animals got loose.

Aah, this mission is
too risky.

He should have been back
an hour ago.

It's my fault.

What were you
supposed to do, Colonel?

Send him out with
a whip and a chair?

NEWKIRK:
Andrew, where you been?

We've been worried
about you.

Hi, everybody.

You okay?

Did you know
that the woods were filled

with wild
animals from the zoo?

Well, did you also know it
was also filled with guards,

and that's why we couldn't
get this transmitter part

to the underground?

At least you're safe.

We'll have to send you
out again.

Carter, did you say "we"?

Yeah.

You went on the mission alone.

I know, but I
picked up a friend.

HOGAN:
Who?

Come on out.

It's all right.

Carter, are you crazy?

What'd you bring
him back for?

I just had to, Colonel.

He was so frightened
out there in the woods,

and he just ran over
and took hold of my hand

and wouldn't let go.

There were a lot of
frightened animals out there.

You're telling me.

You should have seen
the grizzly bear

that wanted
to come back with us.

He wasn't so easy
to turn down.

I think it's a great idea
he brought him back, sir.

He'll make a marvelous mascot.

Are you
crazy, too?

We can't keep
a chimp in here.

Sir, I know all
about chimpanzees.

I traveled
with a circus.

I roomed with the
Amazing Bloomingtons--

George and Freddy.

How does that
make you an expert?

Freddy was a chimp.

See that?

I wouldn't mind betting
his name's Freddy.

He probably thinks you're
a long-lost relative.

Charming.

Here you go,
then, Freddy,

up on the bunk.

Hey, just
a minute.

That's my bunk.

Oh, come on.

There's room
for two of you.

You're both
the same size.

You're the
chimpanzee expert.

Let him sleep
with you.

My pleasure, mate.

Hey, Freddy.

Come on over here.

This is my place.

Come on.

Nothing formal, mind you.

Sit down.

All right, everybody
stand by for roll call.

All present, Schultz.

Take my word for it.

I have my orders from
Commandant Klink himself.

There are 14 men
in this barracks.

I would like
to see 14 faces.

All right,
be our guest.

One, two, three,
four, five, six...

seven, eight, nine,
ten, eleven...

Please, Colonel Hogan, tell me
I didn't see what I just saw.

SCHULTZ:
Colonel Hogan...

Colonel Hogan, please tell me

it is LeBeau who
is holding my hand.

Come here, Freddy.
Come here.

Come here, buddy.

Oh, no!

This time you went too far.

Oh, this, I have to report.

It would be worth my life.

How did he get in here?

Well, he climbed
over the fence

to get away
from the hunters.

Wouldn't you
if you were a chimp?

How can you ask
a hippopotamus

to think
like a chimp?

You want me to believe
he went over the fence?

Why don't you ask him?

Remember, Freddy, just name,
rank and serial number.

I'm going to ask the questions,
if you don't mind.

Now, you, come here.

Now, you tell me...

Oh, no, that's too much.

Oh, I have to tell this one
to the commandant.

NEWKIRK:
Schultz...

look at that little face.

You can't turn him out
among all those wild animals.

Look at him.

Yeah, we could
use a fresh face in the barracks.

He's so funny.

All right,
I shall do this.

But this time,
I see nothing.

NEWKIRK:
Thanks, Schultz.

Thanks, Schultz.

But don't let the commandant
see the monkey.

Monkey, Schultz?

Freddy is a chimpanzee.

He's very sensitive about that.

Oh, I'm sorry, Freddy.

( laughing ):
I'm going to bring him a knockwurst.

Colonel, they've probably
pulled those guards back.

Shall I go out again?

Naw, if they had, Schultz
would have mentioned it.

Well, we better try
something, Colonel.

London says
the underground needs that part

for their
transmitter desperately.

Yeah, I know, I know.

( sighs )

Well, I haven't thought
of anything.

Have you, Freddy?

It's a shame
the Germans don't have

a big game hunter
like my cousin Emile.

Did he ever hunt
in Africa?

Yes.

He told me that one day,

with one shot,
he brought down

the largest bull
elephant in the Congo.

Wow.

The natives called him
"the king of the bull."

Wait a minute.

The Germans don't have
a big game hunter.

Suppose we gave them one.

What good would that do?

While our big game hunter
is helping the guards,

he can also make contact
with the underground.

Hey, that's a smashing idea,
but who have we got?

The bull king's cousin.

So, Corporal LeBeau is
really a big game hunter?

That's right, sir.

In one day alone,
he shot enough elephants

for six baby grands,
two uprights and a spinet.

Hogan, my men are
perfectly able

to handle the situation
themselves.

Just wanted to offer
a helping hand, sir.

That's very considerate
of you,

but these are well-trained
German soldiers.

Mm-hmm.

If we can defeat
the Russian bear,

we certainly can defeat
African lions.

Have you heard the score
from Stalingrad lately?

Bears: 30;
Germans: nothing.

Hogan...

Take my word for it,
Commandant,

the lions are going
to shut you out, too.

So the cockroach is really
a big game hunter?

That's right.

But why would a Frenchman
volunteer to help Germans?

He wants to get
out of the barracks,

get a little fresh air.

That the only reason?

No.

After those animals
finish gorging themselves

on your guards,

they may come in here
for seconds.

Hogan, it is
against regulations

to give a gun
to a prisoner.

Oh, come on, Commandant.

You're a good officer.

You know that sometimes

you have to
throw away the book.

Never!

A good German officer
always sticks by the book.

( lions roaring, elephants
trumpeting in distance )

Just how good a shot
is LeBeau?

I assure you, Commandant,
I am a fabulous shot.

You have nothing
to worry about, sir.

They'll take care
of the wild animals.

What do you mean, "they"?

I thought you said
LeBeau was the hunter.

He's my gun bearer.

Gun bearer?

That's right.

You don't send
a bwana out alone.

Bwana?

That's Swahili for "I can get a
leopard skin for you wholesale."

It loses a little
in the translation.

Oh, my wife would like
to have a fur coat.

Take Schultz's order.

How about a nice
grizzly bear skin?

On her, it would
look like a stole.

How about...

How about just
shutting up?

LeBeau, are you sure
this is not a trick?

If you have any doubts
about my marksmanship, sir,

I would be glad
to demonstrate for you.

Mm-hmm, that's
a good idea.

Check the gun, bearer.

Everything is
in order, bwana.

Thank you.

See that box?

KINK:
Mm-hmm.

That's a charging
rhinoceros.

Bwana, that pail down there
is a leopard!

Bwana, there's
a big bull elephant

coming by that sign!

Guards!

Guards!

It's all right,
Herr General,

it's all right.

It's all right?!

This prisoner has
a gun.

You don't
understand, sir--

he is a bwana.

He's a what?

KLINK:
He's a bwana.

Klink, you Dummkopf.

What is the meaning
of all this?

Corporal LeBeau is going out
to help my guards

hunt down the animals
that escaped from the zoo.

You are sending out
this man, a prisoner?

Out there alone
with a gun?!

KLINK:
Oh, no, sir.

He is his gun bearer.

I want to see you

in your office
immediately.

Yes, sir.

Why do I have
to listen to you?

Gun bearer...

Hey, what happened?

Burkhalter showed up
and killed the whole plan.

If anybody comes up with an idea

how we get in touch
with the underground,

I'll be in my office.

Boy Howdy, Burkhalter
was so mad,

I think he's going to throw
Klink to the lions.

Well, maybe
one of us

will just take
his chances.

With all those guards
roaming the woods,

it would be
a million to one.

Yeah,
Kinch is right.

If one of us
gets spotted

with that radio part
near the underground,

you got
a very good chance

they might uncover
the transmitter.

HOGAN:
Newkirk!

Now you've gone
too far!

How about that?

KINCH:
Newkirk, you're kidding.

CARTER:
Where'd you get Freddy that outfit?

I just took
one of LeBeau's old fatigue suits.

Lengthened
the trousers a bit,

it was perfect.

( laughs )

Don't be so funny.

Didn't know you were
that sensitive, LeBeau.

I am not sensitive
about my height,

but I don't like it
that Freddy outranks me.

All right, all right.

We should be thinking
about the mission.

I taught him to do
a lot of tricks.

Watch now.

Freddy, that's enough sweeping.

What about making up
the Colonel's bunk?

That's marvelous.

Hey, that's enough of that.

Now, what about
putting the water on

for the coffee?

We'll call you when
the coffee is ready, Colonel.

You did
a fine job!

Very good,
Freddy, now.

You know, I've got
a great idea.

I'm going to send Freddy out
through the tunnel,

bring in
a couple of his chums and we got it made.

We'll be the only
prisoners of war

with free live-in help.

Yeah, but if we're
going to keep Freddy as a mascot,

you better not have
him working around the barracks here,

because Klink's
bound to see him.

Yeah, Carter
is right.

Klink would have Freddy
taken back to the zoo like a shot.

Newkirk, you better take Freddy
down to the radio room

until things cool off.

Right, sir.

I might
even teach him

how to work
the radio,

which would leave
you available

for other
duties, Kinch.

( chuckling )

You know,
hold it, hold it.

Newkirk, wait a minute.

Yes, sir?

It might be better

if Klink did
see Freddy.

But Klink would send him
back to the zoo.

That's right--
Sergeant Schultz could be his escort.

But then we'd lose
our mascot.

We might lose
a mascot,

but the underground
might gain

a transmitter part.

Colonel Hogan...

you know
all the prisoners

are restricted
to their quarters.

I just can't stay
away from you.

The Kaiser in?

He's on the telephone
with General Burkhalter.

Planning
the winter campaign for the eastern front?

I think the general
may send Colonel Klink there

if he doesn't
do something

about those
wild animals.

The whole town
is complaining.

I'd better go in
and brighten up his day.

Yes, General Burkhalter,
I will do my utmost

to round up
those animals from the zoo.

But you see, it is the fault
of the zookeeper.

We've never had an escape
from my camp, only from the zoo.

What's that?

Transfer me to the zoo?

What a delightful sense of
humor, General Burkhalter.

Either
you're not laughing

or we're having
a bad connection.

Yes, sir, it will
all be taken care of.

Heil Hitler.

Getting a little heat
from Burkhalter, sir?

What am I?

A zookeeper
or the head of a POW camp?

He just doesn't understand
my problems.

It's too easy for him
to give orders,

and he expects miracles.

General Burkhalter
is so... he's so...

German.

Exactly.

Hogan, please don't cause
any more trouble.

It's enough for one day.

Actually, I'm here to show you
we're helping you out, sir.

How is that?

Got the men to volunteer

to do some gardening
around the camp.

Gardening?

Your men are restricted
to the barracks.

That's right--
thought it would look nice

if we planted some daisies,
forget-me-nots and buttercups

around the camp.

I was not aware

that you were such
a nature lover.

Mm-hmm, we think
it'll, uh...

it'll go a lot easier
for you, sir--

you should be prepared.

Prepared for what?

For the liberation.

When the Allies march
in the front gate,

it'll go a lot easier
for you

if you're standing there
with a bouquet of pansies.

I'm not interested
in your men

doing any gardening.

Believe me,
it'll make the place

look real great, sir.

Here, just have a look.

Just order your men
back to the barracks.

Aw, look, it's
good for morale.

Look how happy
they are out there

digging
and raking and...

Hogan, really, I...

Look.

Something
the matter, sir?

I'm going to have to ask
for two weeks at a rest camp.

Really?

It's no use
kidding myself, Hogan,

but the pressure of being
number one is beginning to tell.

It is?

You won't believe this,

but, uh... when I looked
out the window, I...

I can't even tell you.

Go ahead, try me.

You sure you won't laugh?

You have my word.

When I looked out that window,

I thought I saw a chimpanzee
raking in the garden.

Well, if it'll make you feel
better, sir,

there is a chimpanzee
raking in the garden.

That's what I thought.

Well, I need a rest.

What?!

Yeah, he's the sergeant
with the stripes.

His name is Freddy.

( chatters )

Bring that man
in here!

Really, Colonel,

he's our mascot.

Hogan, there is nothing
in the Geneva Convention

that says that you
can have a mascot.

Well, it's not
our fault, sir.

He came wandering
into camp from the zoo

and we just sort of
took him in the outfit.

Hogan, do you realize

what General Burkhalter
would say

if he saw a chimpanzee
working in the garden?

It's a lot better

than if he saw him lying
in the sack goldbricking.

Well, I'm grateful
that a lion

didn't walk
into your barracks.

Him I would let
goldbrick.

You wanted
to see us, sir?

Yes.

Attention!

Colonel, before you send
Freddy back to the zoo,

I'd like
to plead his case.

Hogan, not another word
out of you.

But if he was in
the Hammelburg Zoo,

he's a German.

You might say he's
a civilian employee.

Well, then he should be shot

for fraternizing
with the prisoners.

How do we know
he isn't a spy, sir?

Good point.

He does look a lot

like some of the
Gestapo guys I've seen.

Hogan, I will not be diverted.

He goes back to the zoo,
and that's final.

Freddy, you may
not believe this,

but this is the first case
I've lost.

Hogan!
All right.

When do you
want Schultz to take him back?

Immediately.
NEWKIRK: Uh, Colonel?

Would it be possible

just to have few
minutes so that...

Freddy could say good-bye
to his buddies?

That's the least
you can do, sir

All right, say good-bye,
but make it brief.

It'll be brief.

Pretty tough to talk

when you're
all choked up.

Calling
Royal Navy 371.

This is Stalag 13.

Royal Navy 371
to Stalag 13.

Come in.

I have a message
for London

with some instructions

that have to be relayed
to the underground.

Righto, Colonel.

I'll contact London
to stand by.

Colonel Wembley,
we're getting some instructions

for the underground
from Stalag 13.

Well, that must mean
they haven't delivered

that transmitter
part yet.

I've sewn the part
in his pocket, sir.

Take him upstairs

and stand by
for Schultz to come.

Right, sir.
Come on, Freddy.

Royal Navy 371
to Stalag 13,

we have London standing by.

What are your instructions?

HOGAN:
Tell London to inform the underground

the pickup point
for the radio part

is the Hammelburg Zoo.

Your instructions are
to inform the underground

that the pickup
of the spare part

will be
at the Hammelburg zoo.

At the zoo?

Well, that could be
quite dangerous.

Ask them why they insist
on a rendezvous at the zoo.

Colonel Hogan,
London wants to know

why you insist on the zoo
for the rendezvous point.

Because our courier
is a chimpanzee.

We've had some
transmission problem.

Would you repeat
that message?

Repeat: Our courier
is a chimpanzee.

Chimpanzee?

Chimpanzee?

Chimpanzee?

I thought
we weren't giving

our messages
in code, sir.

Perhaps Hogan
has forgotten that.

Would you look up
"chimpanzee"

in the code book,
Sergeant?

"Chimpanzee" is not
part of code, sir.

I have no idea

what the message
is at all.

The chimpanzee
will be wearing

a fatigue uniform
with sergeant's stripes

and answers
to the name of Freddy.

I've heard
of Yankee ingenuity,

but this is ridiculous.

NEWKIRK:
I was going to make him

a sports jacket,
you know.

LeBEAU:
You didn't find the material?

Well, I couldn't find
anything right.

Do you what I mean?

CARTER:
I think he looks better like this.

You really do?
I think it's great.

Hey, let me take
a look at you, then.

You're right handsome,
you are.

What took so long,
Colonel?

Did you have
any trouble with the transmission?

No, but it wasn't easy
convincing London

that the man we're sending out
is a chimp.

SCHULTZ:
All right, all right.

Here's Schultz.

He's all set, Schultz.

What is he doing
in that uniform?

You can't take away
his suit.

He's grown awfully
fond of it, Schultz.

Yeah, you can't take that
away from him.

It gets pretty cold in a cage.

Yeah, you wouldn't
want anyone to see you

walking down the street with
a naked chimpanzee, would you?

All right,
he can keep his clothes on.

That's a good
boy, Schultz.

You're okay.

Well, Freddy,
my old mate,

this is it.

I hope
we meet again.

LeBEAU:
Au revoir, mon pote.

CARTER:
Bye, Freddy, good luck.

Freddy...

you're one of the great
chimps of all time.

I feel terrible
taking him away.

Maybe we could
say he ran away

and you could
hide him here.

ALL:
No, no, no...

We don't want to get
you in trouble.

Now, you've got
to do your duty.

Good-bye, Freddy.

Maybe you're
right.

Come on, Freddy,
come on.

You know, I'm going to
miss the little fellow.

He'll always be
a hero in my heart.

After the war,
I think I'm going

to recommend Freddy
for a medal.

Yeah,
the Legion of Merit

with
a peanut cluster.

Calling Royal Navy 371,
come in, please. Over.

Stalag 13, we've got
a message from London for you.

Royal Navy 371,

congratulate Hogan
and his chaps.

We've just had word
from the underground

that they got that part
for their transmitter

from Sergeant Freddy.

The raid will take place
as scheduled.

Pity we couldn't use
the little fellow again.

He's one of the most
reliable couriers we've had yet.

Thank you,
Royal Navy 371.

Over and out.

Hey, Newkirk,
where are you going?

I thought
I'd go up

and take a look
around the woods.

You know, make sure
all the guards have left.

Oh, Schultz said
they've captured all the animals

and the guards
are back.

You know
old Schultz.

I just thought
I'd, you know,

like to take a look
around meself.

That's a very good
idea, Newkirk.

Go right ahead.

Right, sir.

Give my regards
to Freddy, huh?

Will do, sir.

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