All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e26 Trying.eng

( theme song playing )

Oh, Herr Brockman, I...

Oh, please, Fraulein,
not Herr Brockman.

Call me Horst.

Really, Horst, I think
I've had enough wine.

My face is getting
red as a beet.

Such a becoming color
for such a lovely face.

You artists really
have a way with words.

Mm-hmm.

It must be very exciting

being a foreign
correspondent.

Very dangerous, too.

Not nearly as dangerous
as your brother's job.

Takes a real man
to be an SS officer.

His division's
right in the middle of the fighting, isn't it?

It was.

They've been pulled back
from the Russian front to...

The rest is a military
secret, I'm afraid.

Better we not talk
about it, then.

( whispering ):
You never know who might be listening.

I propose a toast.

To what are we toasting?

To your brother's division,
the glorious 12th SS.

Sixth SS.

To the glorious Sixth SS.

May their victories
at the Russian front

be equal to their
new victories in Sicily.

North Africa.

They're regrouping
at Stuttgart,

then they're off for
a surprise counterattack at Tobruk.

It will be quite a surprise.

The Allies would
never expect such a move.

To a glorious victory.

Oh, gracious.

With such enchanting company,
I completely forgot.

I have to catch a plane
in a half an hour.

But Horst, couldn't you
take a later plane?

If only I could,

but I have an assignment
of the greatest urgency.

One more glass of wine
before you go?

( sighs ):
Best I keep my head clear.

You know, I never did
get your name or address.

Audrey St. Laurence.

Special Operations
Intelligence, London, England.

Are you sure you wormed
enough information

out of me,
Colonel Hogan?

Something must have happened.

Colonel Hogan's never been
this late before.

Yeah, it's almost time
for roll call.

He's here.

I could see him
making his way to the edge of the woods.

Schultz coming.

We got to stall him
till Colonel Hogan gets here.

Carter!

Achtung!

( louder ):
Achtung!

What did you say,
Schultz?

I said "Achtung!"

Oh.

Your bid, Kinch.

Two of clubs.

When I say "Achtung,"

that means that you all
are to snap to attention.

Oh, is that
what it means?

Huh.

I always thought it
meant "Good morning" or "Greetings, mates,"

something like that.

( chuckling ):
No.

No, "Achtung"
is a command.

When I say "Achtung,"

I want you all to come
to attention at once.

I never was sure
what it meant myself.

It always sounded
like Schultz was just clearing his throat.

You say it's a command
for attention, huh?

That's right.

Now that you all know it...

Achtung!

And a good morning
to you, too, Schultz.

Didn't you hear
what Schultz said?

Sure.

He said "Achtung,"

so I said "Good morning"
right back to him.

"Achtung" doesn't
mean "Good morning."

Well, that's what Newkirk
says it means.

And who are we going to believe,
one of us or one of them?

He's got a point there.

Yes, he does.

You better brush up
on your German, Schultz.

Yeah, don't use words
you're not sure of.

In future, to avoid confusion,

why don't you just say
"Good morning" in English.

It wasn't...

Hi, Schultz.

Let us know when it's time
for roll call, will you?

Jawohl, Colonel.

But it is time
for roll call!

That's why I'm here
in the first place.

It's almost past time
for roll call.

Boy, you'd never make
sergeant in our air force.

Roll call!

Everybody out, out,
out, out, out.

Roll call!

Raus.

Thank you, and a "Good day"
to you, too, Schultz.

And while I'm on leave,

Colonel Krueger will be
in charge of Stalag 13.

Now let me leave you
with this warning:

while the cat's away,
the mice better not play.

And I will personally
deal with any mouse play around here.

You can depend on my men
to conduct themselves

as they always have, sir.

Colonel Hogan,
I will hold you responsible.

Sergeant Schultz,
dismiss the men.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

Achtung.

Now, uh, uh, uh...

I mean, good morning.

I mean... attention.

HOGAN:
Colonel Krueger looks

like a lot of laughs,
doesn't he?

KINCH:
Oh, yeah, he's a regular Huckleberry Finn.

Colonel Hogan, will you do me
a small favor, please?

Sure, Schultz;
what is it?

Will you tell your men
not to leave

until I say,
"Prisoners dismissed."

I mean, please,
not everybody,

but enough
to make me look good.

Well, I don't mind
hanging around when the weather's nice,

but a man could take
a nasty chill on a morning like this.

I think it was
pretty decent of us to stick around

for Colonel Klink's
farewell address.

I believe my men's health

comes before your
personal glory, Schultz.

But Colonel Hogan,
I do not want to make a bad impression

on the new Kommandant.

From the looks of him,

that's the only kind
anybody's going to make on him.

That's not very nice
of you, LeBeau.

Hey.

The colonel and the Gestapo
act like old buddies.

What's up, Schultz?

Are you asking me?

Haven't you learned
that I know nothing,

I see nothing
and I hear nothing?

Morning, gentlemen.

Allow me to, uh...

Hogan, this is
a private conversation.

Oh, I'm sorry, sir.

I didn't mean
to interrupt.

Just wanted
to pay my respects

to Colonel Krueger here.

Military courtesy,
you know.

Very good of you,
Colonel.

You'll find that
I'm more than willing to...

Hogan, this is
a private conversation.

No one can hear
what I'm saying, sir.

This is a private
conversation

between Colonel Krueger,
Colonel Nikolas and myself.

Oh, of course, that's
what you said before.

I'm sorry, gentlemen,
I didn't mean to interrupt.

That's what
you said before

and all you've done
is interrupt ever since.

Before I leave,
I have a few things

to discuss with
Colonel Krueger-- personal matters.

You're welcome to use
the officer's mess

if you'd like, sir.

Excuse me, gentlemen,
I think you'll find it

much more convenient
and more privacy

in Colonel Klink's office.

We don't want
to inconvenience the Kommandant.

Well, you see,
I have a lot of work to do and...

It's no inconvenience at all.

Anything for the Gestapo,
right, Colonel?

Of course I can always
do my work later.

That's most kind
of you, Colonel.

That's nothing.

Glad to do it.

I was addressing
the Kommandant.

Hogan!

Try to be nice.

That will be all,
Fraulein.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

And one more thing--

would you make sure
that we are not disturbed?

Jawohl.

You know, Walter,
in one week,

Stalag 13 will not look
like the same place.

Except for the Fraulein,
I hope.

NIKOLAS ( over bugging device ):
Now if we can only convince the High Command

to let the military
fight the war,

let us run the prison camps.

When they see the changes here,
they will be convinced.

So that's what they're up to.

A Gestapo takeover.

HOGAN:
Kinch.

Yeah.

Did you radio London
about that surprise attack

the Sixth SS is planning?

Not yet, Colonel--
too much interference.

The Germans must be jamming.

NIKOLAS:
I like the idea of cutting food rations in half,

and confiscating their
Red Cross packages

as spoils of war
is really brilliant.

We must think of
our own people, Walter.

They would pay us anything
on the black market

for those packages.

Ah.

I guess we heard enough.

I wish I hadn't
heard any of it.

Those two are going
to make a jail out of this prison camp.

Keep trying to get through
to London, Kinch.

With the Gestapo here,

we may have to go
off the air

on very short notice.

Right, Colonel.

We've got to keep
Klink here.

We can kill this whole thing

if we can get him
to cancel his leave.

Cancel a two-week leave?

No one in
his right mind...

You may have
a chance at that.

( humming )

Herr Kommandant,
you're packed and ready to go.

Thank you, Schultz.

Ah, the mountain air
will be beautiful this time of year.

I cannot wait to get up
to the lodge.

Let me see--

the train trip will take
about nine hours.

Would it be not much quicker
to fly?

It takes only an hour
by airplane.

No, Schultz.

Then you miss
the beautiful scenery.

Besides, I enjoy trains.

You would enjoy airplanes, too,

if you wouldn't be afraid
to fly.

Schultz, I'm not afraid
of flying.

It's just that I find train
traveling more relaxing.

Now, did you pack everything
that I laid out?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Oh.

I think I forgot something.

What was it--

the nose drops, ear drops
or the eye drops?

Why don't you open
the bag and make sure?

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Sorry to bust in
on you like this, sir, but I just had to...

Thank goodness
you're unpacking.

This is certainly
no time to go on vacation.

Hogan, what are you
talking about?

You know what
I'm talking about--

Colonel Krueger and his
Gestapo hatchet man.

I was pretty sure you saw
the same thing I saw.

What is it you saw?

The same thing you saw.

You did see it,
didn't you?

If you saw it, I saw it.

What was it we were seeing?

The nods and winks
between Krueger and Nikolas.

Those two are up
to something.

We both saw that.

Hogan, I...

Now that you're going
to be staying on,

they'll have to call off
their little scheme.

What scheme?

Colonel Krueger's
after your command.

Well, you knew that.

Hogan, that's ridiculous.

Oh? Then why'd
you cancel your leave?

Because I...

Who said I canceled
my leave?

That's the only way
to stop them.

What makes my blood boil
is that they had the gall

to plot against you
in your own office.

Schultz, get that luggage
unpacked on the double.

Jawohl, Colonel.

Achtung, Schultz.

Oh, no, no, Herr Kommandant,
not "Achtung."

"Achtung" is too late.

What you want to say
is "Good afternoon, Sergeant Schultz."

It's almost 3:30.

Suddenly, I'm surrounded
by two lunatics.

Not lunatics, sir.

I'd call Krueger
and Nikolas fanatics.

I was talking about you
and Schultz.

Oh, swell.

That's the gratitude I get?

I try to help.

What thanks do I get?

Oh, I do thank you, Hogan.

I thank you for trying
to ruin a trip

that I've planned
all last year.

I thank you for trying
to make me suspicious

of a loyal comrade.

I thank you for trying to turn
one of my own men against me!

Schultz, you fathead!

Pack, don't unpack.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

He wasn't about
to cancel his leave.

He just laughed at
the idea of Krueger taking over here.

Yeah, well,
the laugh's on him,

although it's
no laughing matter.

Yeah, the Gestapo
have a way

of taking all the fun
out of prison life.

Guess that means we'll be going
out of the espionage business

for awhile, won't we, sir?

I don't know.

Krueger could just be
a very good fighter pilot

with no brains at all
for this command.

Yeah, that still makes him
smarter than Klink.

And the Gestapo
is supporting him.

If we could discredit Krueger...

takes care of the plan
right there.

All clear, Kinch.

Colonel, I finally got
through to London.

They send their
warmest thanks

and these instructions.

Instructions?

I told them about
the enemy attack.

What more do they want?

Huh?

Are they out of their
ever-loving minds?

This is crazy.

It's insane.

Absolutely insane.

There's no way.

Some nut had to come up
with this one.

Good news, sir?

The Allied forces need a little
time to bring up fresh troops

to launch a surprise
counteroffensive

against the German surprise
counterattack.

What's that got to do with us?

They want us to keep
those SS troops pinned down here

for at least two more days.

We're supposed to keep
10,000 men pinned down?!

Did they say how we'd do that?

There's only one way...

we surround them.

Now, I don't know...

We got so much going
in our favor as it is.

You see, we're a small
group, first of all,

and we have
the added advantage

of being unarmed.

I'd say we try
direct charge.

Good plan, Newkirk.

They'd never expect
a surprise attack

from five unarmed men.

So right there we've got

the element of surprise
going for us.

They don't really expect us
to delay that division,

do they, Colonel?

Not unless you got
this message wrong.

I thought it might be
a mistake, too,

so I asked them to repeat it.

Five times I asked them
to repeat it.

I'd say they definitely expect
us to delay that division.

How?

We don't even have
any guns.

Carter, if we had guns

there'd be no trick
to it at all, would there?

We'd just sneak up
behind them 10,000 men,

we'd say, "All right,
this is a stick-up.

Don't anybody move
for three days."

If this
is an example

of London's
warmest thanks,

we better not
send them

any more enemy
information.

They've given us
tough assignments before

and we've always been able to
think of a way to get them done.

They probably just assume

that we're going to do it
the same way

with this little problem.

Well, five men
cannot hold off a division.

ALL:
Right.

It's ridiculous.

Right.

Just can't be done.

Right.

And here's how
we're going to do it.

Escape!

What escape?!

I went to Barrack One
for morning roll call...

and the men were gone.

How many men?

All 15 of them.

What's happening, Kinch?

Is Krueger calling out the
Sixth SS to help in the search?

Nikolas is all for it,

but Krueger wants
to handle it himself.

NEWKIRK:
Here you are, boys,

our own private
entrance to the camp.

All right,
fellows, let's go.

Hi.

Here we go.

Move all the way
back there, huh?

Plenty of room
for everybody.

Can you fill us in

on just what
we're doing, sir?

Yeah, we have orders

to keep the Sixth SS Division
from moving out.

We're hoping Colonel
Krueger gets them

to help track down all
the escaped prisoners.

What escaped prisoners are
you talking about, Colonel?

I'm talking about you
15 men from Barracks One.

My cooperation just ended.

I don't like being
a prisoner of war,

but I'm a lot safer inside
than I am outside.

Colonel, they'd nail us
before we got ten feet.

And them SS boys, they're
a trigger-happy bunch.

Let me explain something.

Nobody's stepping foot
outside this camp.

That way you won't
be taking any chances.

We're escaped prisoners,

but we never leave
the prison, right?

That's right, we're
going to hide you here in the tunnel.

All right,
let's move out.

Come on, fellows,
make room for him.

One more in there--
plenty of room.

When he was captured,

did they have to quiet him
down with a crack on the head

or anything like that?

I imagine he put up
a bit of a struggle, yes.

Something bothering
you, Sergeant?

Well, it's
this escape idea.

Does it make
any sense to you?

Frankly,
I think it's one

of the Colonel's
more brilliant plans.

Uh-huh...

You took
a couple of good ones

in the old noggin yourself,
didn't you?

I will not have
escaped prisoners

sabotaging
the German war effort.

I will have to call in
the Sixth SS Division.

That will not
be necessary, Colonel.

My men will capture
the prisoners.

Your men are the ones

who let them get away
in the first place.

Surely you don't think

that this escape
is my fault?

Bah.

But obviously they
have been planning it

for some time--

right under the nose
of Colonel Klink.

But they escaped
under yours,

so you can't really pin
this on anybody's nose

except your own!

Sergeant!

J-j-jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Shall I call the prisoners
to attention?

No, Sergeant.

I would like you
to kick in the door

and we'll see what
they may be up to.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Didn't you hear
the Kommandant?!

Kick in the door!

Nobody move or I will...

They're gone, too.

Where are they?

They must have escaped.

They couldn't have.

Why not?

This seems to be
the day for it.

If they have escaped,

they cannot
be far from here.

So you will organize
a search party

and go after them.

Yes, sir!

But I have already
a search party

out looking for the men
from Barrack Number One.

So organize
a second search party.

Yes, Colonel.

If this keeps up,

we won't have any men left
to guard the prisoners.

If this keeps up,
Sergeant,

you won't have any
prisoners left to guard.

Yes, Colonel.

May I use your office phone,
Colonel Krueger?

If you think
you are going to call

the Sixth SS Division
to help...

That's exactly what
I think I'll do.

All right now, fellows,

Colonel Hogan wants you men
to feel free to do

anything you feel like doing.

A couple of things you can't do:

Uh, no smoking
and no moving around.

You know, no unnecessary noises
like talk and stuff like that.

Just what can we do?

Well, I would
suggest you find

a nice, comfortable spot
and sack out for awhile.

I just left
a comfortable spot

where I was sacked out.

How long are we going
to be stuck

in this Black Hole
of Calcutta?

Only a very short time--

one or two days
at the most.

( men grumbling )

Well, how are we
fixed for chow?

Oh, well, now, you're
going to be eating the very best.

You see, our chef here,
Corporal LeBeau,

has an access
to the officers' mess.

So we have
a ready supply...

Not anymore.

They had all
the locks changed.

Does that mean there
ain't no chow for us?

You'll be fed, Corporal.

We don't have
a lot of food,

but with
a little imagination

I can make
a very nice dinner.

What about
breakfast and lunch?

I imagine that's what
I'll be making it with.

Oh, hey, come on, fellows,
just hold it down now.

You want the Germans
to catch you?

No, I want them
to rescue us.

What kind
of soldiers are you?

You're not thinking

of the thousands
of lives you can save!

You only care about
eating and sleeping!

Have you forgotten
we're fighting a war

and why we're fighting it?!

Okay, Frenchy,

before you break
into the "Marseillay."

"Marseillaise."

All right, you've
made your point.

I guess I can stand to be
a caveman for a few days.

That goes for the rest
of you guys, too.

NEWKIRK:
Hey, come on, move on back down there.

Get closer.

Make room for
the fugitives

from Barracks Three!

( humming )

Oh, good morning,
Colonel Klink.

Good morning, Bruno.

Just came down to check

where I start
with Fraulein Baermann.

I mean, about
my skiing lessons, of course.

That's marvelous.

Oh, Colonel, it's
wonderful to see a man

who faces death
seven days a week

and still has
a sense of humor.

I guess maybe that
is the way all heroes are.

Oh, Bruno, I'm a far cry
from being a hero.

I believe the Colonel forgets

that little slip of the tongue
last night.

"Slip of the tongue," huh?

About the three medals

personally presented
by the Führer himself.

I didn't, did I?

Yes, you did.

"Killer Klink."

Not my nickname, too?

Oh, but do not worry, Colonel,

I haven't said a word
to anyone else.

Your secret is safe with me.

Ah, that's good.

Thank you, Bruno.

Well, I'm here to forget

all about the war
for awhile.

I'm sick and tired
of fighting and bloodshed.

For the next two weeks
it's death takes a holiday.

Oh, I meant to tell you,
Colonel.

General Burkhalter
is very anxious....

He didn't call
again, did he?

Well, I'm still not in.

The next time he calls,

I'm in, but
I've just gone out.

But, Colonel,
I think you had better...

No, no, no, no--

I do not want
to talk to him.

He's probably
found out something

about some paperwork
I've done wrong

and that'll give
him a chance

to yell at someone
for an hour or two.

You know something,
Bruno?

Fat men are supposed
to be jolly.

General Burkhalter
is just a nasty old tub of lard.

BRUNO:
Colonel...

And the next time
he phones, I'm out.

He didn't call this time.

He didn't?

Well, if he didn't,
he probably telegraphed,

and if
he didn't telegraph,

he's probably standing
right behind me.

( laughs )

Oh! What a wonderful
surprise, General Burkhalter.

I knew you were here
all the time.

I bet you're ready
to blow your lard...

I mean...

You know I was only
kidding, don't you?

Of course you were.

And I want you to know

I haven't laughed
like this in years.

Yes, sir,
as I said before, it's a wonderful surprise.

Are you here for
any special reason?

Yes, I am, Klink.

Since you were obviously
ducking my phone calls,

I decided
to see you personally.

Ducking your
phone calls, sir?

Bruno, why didn't
you tell me

General Burkhalter was...

Klink!

I heard everything you said.

Yes, sir.

Now, you know
I was only kidding.

It was all said
in very good fun

and I hope you took
it in the spirit

that it was intended to.

After all, I would
be the last man to...

Shut up, Klink.

Yes, sir.

Let us go to your room.

I will do the talking
while you do the packing.

Yes, sir, that's fine.

You do the talking...

Did you say "packing"?

That's right, "Killer."

What you said
is absolutely true.

I really am
a nasty old tub of lard.

Yes, sir, I know the Sixth
Division has been tied up

for three days.

Yes, sir, it is a problem.

However, I'm sure you'll agree

that no one's
really to blame for it...

That's exactly
what I was saying, sir--

no one's really
to blame for it but me.

Tell Marshal Goering
I said hello.

Klink, this is
a private conversation.

I'm sorry, I only wanted
to pay my respects.

Yes, sir, you're
absolutely right, sir.

It is my problem

and I will personally
take care of it at once.

Yes, sir,
it is as good as done.

Nice talking to you again.

Please give
Mrs. Goering my...

( phone disconnects )

Swine.

Is something wrong, sir?

Marshall Goering
has issued an order

that all
of the escaped prisoners

are to be found
by tomorrow morning.

Well, General
Burkhalter,

do you think
it can be done?

I don't see how--

but this is your
problem, not mine.

My problem?

It was your problem
a moment ago

when you spoke
to Field Marshal Goering.

Yes, it was.

But luckily, I'm not talking
to Marshal Goering now.

I am talking
to Colonel Klink!

A man with a very
big problem on his hands.

Sorry to barge in
on you, Colonel,

but this is terribly
important. Hi, General.

I want to ask you, sir--
no, I want to beg you--

not to be too tough

on those poor,
misguided men.

What men?

The 30 escaped
prisoners.

It was an obvious case
of mass temporary insanity.

You will let them off easy,
won't you, sir?

You know where they are?

No, sir, but once they hear that
Colonel Klink's back in charge,

naturally they'll turn
themselves in.

Why would they do
a crazy thing like that?

It would be crazy not to.

They know Colonel Klink
won't sleep

until he catches
every last one of them.

And he's awfully mean
when he doesn't sleep.

I think you are the one

with the temporary insanity,
Hogan.

If the entire Sixth Division
couldn't find them,

how is this, uh...

Herr Kommandant, it is them.

All the escaped prisoners
are back in the barracks.

They got here sooner
than I expected, sir.

I hope you'll find it
in your heart, sir, to be lenient.

I will, Hogan.

I also hope you find
it in your heart, sir,

to give us some of the supplies
we're running short on.

We'll talk about that
some other time.

It's perfectly
all right, sir.

I've made out
a list.

If you'll
just okay it,

I'm quite sure
Sergeant Schultz

can run it
over to supply.

Oh, you don't
have a pen.

Here...

Use mine.

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