All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes s03e08 Nights in Shining Armor.eng

( theme song playing )

Colonel?

Colonel Hogan, message
from London just in.

Now? So late?

Sounds like an emergency.
Kinch has it in code.

It's getting to be a busy war.

Relay job, Colonel--

from a plane,
then to London, then to us.

"Forward pass almost
intercepted.

"Need new play.

"Your team, 0200 hours.

"Load of sugar candy.

Usual signals.
Good luck, Coach."

That's a parachute drop
from a courier plane.

Probably couldn't use its first
drop point.

All right, look,
we'll move in an hour.

"Sugar candy" is code
for something special.

Maybe they'll drop us
some USO girls.

Could also mean
heavy equipment.

After two years
here, who cares what they look like?

All right. Let's go.

Uh-huh.

Two flashes blue,

two white,
two more blue.

All right, Newkirk,
give them the answer.

They read us. Let's go.

All right, let's make it fast.

The Krauts might have
seen this come down.

And, if they find it,
they find us.

There they are.
That's the sugar candy.

Bulletproof vests.

Heavy.

It's a good thing
they didn't send along

two pair of pants with them.

There's six or eight...
Yeah, it's too...

...pairs in each box.
...too heavy to carry back.

We'll have to bury 'em here.
We'll take one with us.

Come here, LeBeau.

Oh. Be careful.

( grunting )

That's the first time I saw
a vest wearing a man.

( man shouting )

Parlez-vous français?

No, of course,
you pigs would not.

( speaking German )

...officer,
schnell, schnell!

What's going on here?

My name is Lieutenant
Maurice Dubois,

Air Force of France.

I've come to surrender.

I'm afraid you're a
little late, my friend.

Surrender? He's also nuts.

Bring him to my office
and search him for weapons.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Open the gate.

This does not
concern you.

Go about your business.

Comment ça va,
Lieutenant?

Oh, comment vous
appelez-vous, mon petit?

Caporal Louis LeBeau,
14'ème Escadrille.

Lieutenant
Maurice Dubois.

Enchanté.
Enchanté.

Ces animaux
parlent français?

No. Les gros
parlent anglais. Ah, bon.

Où sont les vestes blindées
qui vous ont été délivrées?

On les a besoin,
aussitôt que possible.

Quoi? J'irai au Colonel,
tout de suite.

Don't you know it's not polite
to talk a language

nobody else understands?

We understand it.
Oh, that's different.

What'd he say, LeBeau?

You will not believe it,
Colonel.

When I tell you, you will simply
not believe it. That's all.

I will if I get a chance.
Now, come on, give.

He has come to pick up
the bulletproof vests

that were
dropped to us. Alone?

You don't see
General de Gaulle

coming through
the gate, do you?

Oh, he's barmy
giving himself up.

How do we know
he's for real?

We don't.
Kinch, get on the radio.

Have London check him out
while I see what plans

Klink has for him.

Right.

Lieutenant Maurice Dubois,
Air Force of France...

an organization that
no longer exists.

My plane was hit on a
reconnaissance mission

two days before
we surrendered.

I, um, bail out
over Brussels,

and then I crossed
the border into Germany.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

Now, you entered Germany why?

Maybe he likes the
weinerschnitzel.

Hogan!

Now, Dubois, you've been hiding
for a long time.

Why are you surrendering now?

Well, to tell you
the truth, Colonel,

I am tired of running.

Uh-huh.

All right, your papers will go

to Gestapo headquarters
in Berlin.

And, until we hear from them,
you will be our guest.

Ask for a quiet room.

Some of them are noisy.

Tunnels being dug.

Silence!

Schultz, take him
to the cooler.

Jawohl,
Herr Kommandant.

Wait, wait.
Why the cooler?

Regulations until the case
has been investigated.

Let him live in one
of the barracks.

I'll be responsible for him.

You? That's laughable.

( laughs )

Schultz!

You said it
was laughable,

so I thought
it was an order.

Put him in the cooler.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Answer from
London, Colonel.

Oh, thanks, Kinch.

( sighs )

Well, Dubois'
on the level.

Two years in the
French Resistance.

Two years?

Incroyable.

Two years.
Still alive, eh?

He's no mug.

Our order is
to give him

all the assistance
possible.

How?
He's in solitary.

Yeah, well,
the first thing

is to keep
the Gestapo out of this.

Who's cleaning
Klink's office this week?

I am.
All right,

Klink's report
to the Gestapo

should be ready
tomorrow.

See if you can
head it off.

Yes, sir.

Kinch, I want you
to type out a pass

to the cooler
so I can talk to Dubois.

Okay.
Oh, who signs it?

Newkirk will forge
Klink's signature.

Why is it, every
time there's a bit of forgery required,

or anything semi-criminal,
I'm the guy? Why?

No special
reason, Newkirk.

It's a disease.

Oh, danke, Sergeant.

It's so nice of you
to help me.

Oh, well, I always say,

"If people can't help
each other in wartime,

when can they?"

That's true.

I always say that.

I really do.

The plane was to drop
these new-type bulletproof vests

on a field just
outside Brussels.

The Krauts got wise?

No. But they increased
their patrol activity

so much that it
became dangerous.

We radioed London,
but the plane had already taken off.

The cargo had to be
dropped somewhere.

So we were elected.

You have them
here, Colonel?

We've got them buried
in the woods.

They'll be safe
for a while.

Ah, bon.

Dubois, you took a big gamble.

In two weeks,
the Gestapo plans

to execute several
of our countrymen

in retaliation for
our resistance.

We know where they
are being held,

and we intend
to save them.

These bulletproof
vests will

give our men
a fighting chance.

You gave yourself up.

There was no other way.

I had to make sure
the vests were here,

so, uh, I got into my old
uniform, and here I am.

Yeah, you sure are--
in jail.

Colonel Hogan,
I have been told

that you are a very clever
officer with ideas.

Now, how are we going
to get this armor

away from here
and into France?

Funny you should ask.

Ah, you have a plan?

No. I was just about to ask
you the same question.

Klink's report
to the Gestapo.

You devil. Nice work.

Voilà.

At least the Gestapo won't get
Dubois for a little while.

Yeah, we still have
two problems:

getting Dubois out
of the cooler,

and starting those vests
on their way to France.

Well, couldn't you ask
Klink again, Colonel?

No. He needs a good
reason to let Dubois out.

What do we need most
at Stalag 13?

And nobody say girls.

Eliminate girls,
you're going to cut down

the field quite a bit, sir.

Okay, you guys,
the faucet is fixed...

but use it carefully, 'cause I
got some more work to do on it.

Right.

My son the plumber.

Hey, that's one thing
we haven't got

in the old Stalag, Colonel...
a graduate plumber.

What happened to the Kraut
who was doing that work?

Schneider?
He transferred out.

I've been doing it in all the
barracks for the last few weeks.

How much do you
know about it?

I was a plumber's
helper one summer

when I went to school
in Detroit.

The Krauts know you've
been doing this?

No, I don't think so.

If you can fix
plumbing, you can also break it, right?

That I can do.

Gentlemen, did you
know that, besides being a pilot,

Lieutenant Maurice Dubois
is also a plumber?

He told you, Colonel?

He couldn't. Doesn't
know it himself... yet.

SCHULTZ:
Wait a minute!

May I ask what
you are doing?

You mean
you don't know?

Tell him, LeBeau.

Practice
makes perfect.

Schultz!

It is incredible!

The most efficient
P.O.W. camp

in all of Germany,
and we have no plumber.

Herr Kommandant, Corporal
Schneider was our plumber.

Was?!

Before he was sent
to the Russian front.

Well, what idiot sent him
to the Russian front?

Don't tell me what idiot.

I shall call
division headquarters.

I will have
his transfer revoked,

and we will get him back here.

If they can dig him up.

I-I-I mean,
if they can find him.

( knocking )

Come in, come in,
come in.

Glad I caught you in,
Commandant.

I want to register
a complaint.

Hogan, I'm not interested
in your complaints.

I've got problems
of my own.

Okay.

Wait, Hogan. wait.

Are any of your men plumbers?

Plumbers?
No, sir.

We have a tech sergeant
who's a dentist.

I want my faucet fixed,
not my teeth.

Well, sorry, sir.

I guess
I can't help you.

There is a man who might
be able to do the job.

Who? Who?

No, no. He's
not available.

He's in the cooler.
Regulations.

The Frenchman?

Before the war,
he was one

of the best plumbers
in Paris.

Him?

He told LeBeau.

Yes, Herr
Kommandant,

I heard them
speak in French.

But how can a plumber
become an air force officer?

Connections.

I just want to know
what you did in civilian life.

Well, I, uh, I
did many things.

What was your work?

What the
Commandant means

is were you
always a plumber?

Oh, that.

But of course.

( chuckles )

That was all I ever did,
like my father before me.

You see? Plumbing even
ran in his family.

Oui.

I want you
to fix a faucet.

Sorry, sir.
I would consider that

collaborating with the enemy.

What?

Dubois, I'm senior P.O.W.
officer here,

and I appreciate
your feelings,

but I'm prepared
to look the other way.

Well, bring me the faucet.

I'll see what I can do.

I'd have to bring you
the whole building.

You'll have
to release him.

I suppose I have
no other choice.

But you're on parole.

And, if you break it,
all the men will suffer.

Oui, Colonel.
That is understood.

Why must I always be at the
mercy of all these details?!

What are you
complaining about?

Haven't gotten
his bill yet.

These are
Corporal Schneider's tools.

Take care of them.

I promised
his widow...

Oui, oui. J'ai compris.

I'm going to need someone
to assist me, Colonel.

Kinch?
Yes, sir.

Help the
Lieutenant.

Colonel, I don't know
anything about plumbing.

Doesn't matter.
He knows it all. Just carry his tools.

Right, sir.

All right,
get on with it.

What is this madness?

Shh!

Just play along
with Hogan.

He's got a plan.

But plumbing?

I was a real estate
salesman in Fontainebleau

before the war.

That's close enough.

This'll prove that plenty
of work is needed.

But, Sergeant,
what am I going to say to them?

I'll tell you
what to say. Don't worry.

Here.

( clanking )

Want to sit in, man?

Sounds like Dubois'
doing a good job.

Uh. The moment
the Frenchman is finished,

he goes back
to the cooler.

Jawohl, Herr Kommandant.

Good.

Aha. Aha!

There they are.

All finished, huh?

Excellent.

Schultz, he goes
back in the cooler.

That was just
the inspection, Colonel.

Look at this.
Everything rusted.

The pressure valve
is going to blow any minute.

Then you are going
to have water everywhere.

Mmm. Do you remember
the Johnstown flood?

How long will
it take to finish?

Well, that's
impossible to say.

I'm going to need
a pipe threader,

a forge,
welding tools, eh...

Herr Kommandant,
he could use

Corporal
Schneider's workshop.

All right, but I want
this job done quickly.

Oh, I'd be better off
at the Russian front.

Herr Kommandant,
when you are there,

could you look
for Corporal Schneider?

Shut up.
Dismissed.

Hi, Schultzy.

Hi, Schultz.

Hello, Schultzy.
Hi, Schultz.

We brought the jackets
in last night.

Beautiful. These
are going to give us

a fighting chance
on our mission.

Hey, watch it.

You almost fell
through the floor.

Maybe it would have been better
that way. Help me.

All right, Carter,

you'll leave
your jacket on

and stand over
against the wall.

Look, Colonel,
I know this is

important,
but I...

We're only going
through the motions

of taking a shot at you.

Now, don't get
all worked up.

It's not going to
be dangerous, Sergeant.

Right. I mean,

old Schultz'll stop us,
anyway, right?

And, if he doesn't,
the jacket will stop the bullet.

If the bullet goes
through the jacket?

We'll be happy
to refund your money.

Thanks a lot, sir.

That makes me
feel a lot better.

Good. LeBeau,
go get Schultz.

Tout de suite.
Right, sir.

I didn't even
get a chance

to volunteer
for this.

Oh, pipe down.

You won't feel a thing.

Schultzy, Colonel Hogan
wants to see you.

SCHULTZ:
Yeah?

What do you want?

Hi, Schultz.
We're conducting an experiment.

Let me borrow
your rifle, huh? My rifle?

Thank you.

But wait a minute.

I mean, I didn't even get
a chance to volunteer.

What's going on here?

Are you nuts
or something?

You could kill him.

Don't you know
there's a war on?

He won't get hurt.

He's wearing a
bulletproof vest.

Lieutenant Dubois
invented it in his spare time.

Oh, monkey business.

I told you he'd
tell Klink.

That's right.

And you all stay here,

and don't you move.

So far, Dubois, we're
batting a thousand.

You know what to do.

Oui, Colonel.

I have it all in mind.

I mean, if I'd have been asked
to volunteer,

I might have said yes,

but I wasn't even asked
to volunteer.

Good shot,
Colonel.

I'm proud to say
the bullet has not penetrated.

It has been stopped.

Amazing!

I told you he
was a genius.

With plumbing, not
a bulletproof vest.

Is this what
you've been doing

instead of fixing
my sink?

In his spare time, sir.

In war, there
is no spare time, Hogan.

Now, I'm going
to give you one more day

to repair my pipes,
and then you go back to the cooler.

Colonel, may I talk
to you alone?

Permission denied.

I've told you
what to do.

But it's very
important, Colonel.

Dubois, what are you trying
to pull?

I'm only interested
in plumbing.

You know prisoners
are supposed

to get permission
to talk to the commandant.

And that's an order.
Just a minute.

I give the orders
in Stalag 13.

Schultz, get them
out of here.

I'll make a formal protest.

Get them
out of here. Out!

Dubois, if you sell out,
you're going to be in trouble.

You hear me?
Big trouble!

What did he mean
by "sell out"?

He is very clever,
Colonel.

He knows the value
of a bulletproof vest like this one.

Oh, that's nothing.
Luftwaffe pilots

have worn these flak vests
from the beginning.

Not the same.

The metal has been
specially treated.

My own invention.

I will give them
to you,

and all of these
I have made.

I see.

So you're going
to sell out, eh?

What's the price?

My freedom.

I want to join
Pétain in Vichy.

I don't have to bargain
with you. I can take that vest.

But not the formula
for treating the metal.

( chuckles ):
That is up here.

We have ways
of gaining information.

Ah, Colonel,
wouldn't it be wiser

to turn this over to Berlin

and get credit
for something important?

It could only help
an officer's career.

That's an interesting idea.

Oui.

Not that my career
needs any help.

No, of course
not, Colonel.

I'll see
what can be arranged.

Merci, Colonel.

Merci.

Yes, General Burkhalter,

I've been working on
this little invention of mine,

and now I feel it is ready
for your inspection.

What's that, sir?

Oh, well, sir,

I've always been
a very creative person.

Hmm?

Yes, sir. I've created
confusion, too.

Well, it happens
to the best of us.

( chuckles )

You're coming here?

Oh, that's wonderful, sir.
I shall expect you then.

Heil Hitler.

( gunshot )

Remarkable.
The fabric is torn,

but the metal underneath
is barely dented.

I told you I would deliver
as promised, Herr General.

Yes. Apparently the day
of miracles is not over.

You said a special
treatment of the metal.

What is that
treatment?

The formula
for the treatment

is locked up
in here, General.

Is that so?
Oui.

He'll give it
to us, sir.

When I'm allowed to cross
the border into Vichy.

He's a sellout
artist.

Don't trust him.
Silence!

Disgrace to
the uniform.

I want my freedom.

You shall have it...

if you live up
to your part of the bargain.

I knew our little invention
would be a hit.

Could be very useful
for assault troops or special operations.

That's exactly what I was
thinking, Herr General.

Yes, I knew
you would be

the moment
I mentioned it.

How many of these
have you made?

A dozen, sir.

I want them sent
to Berlin as soon as possible.

I shall be happy

to deliver them
personally, sir.

My aide, Captain Franz,
will come for them.

Lieutenant Dubois,
you will accompany him to Berlin.

Bonjour.

But Herr General,
I feel that...

A demonstration
will be arranged for the Führer himself.

I should love to show the
Führer how that vest works.

That is very kind
of you, Klink.

Thank you,
Herr General.

Except you won't be there.

No.

Why not, Herr General?

Why should you demonstrate
my invention?

They're loading
the car now, Colonel.

Okay, Kinch.

Let's move out.

Mind the store, huh?

Right. Good luck.

Guten Abend, Herr Hauptmann.

This is checkpoint Fritz.

May I see your papers, please?

I have a pass
from General Burkhalter

permitting travel anywhere.

That is just
what I need.

Get out.

( speaks German )

Take off
the uniform.

Nein.

Or would you rather
I shoot it off?

Schnell!

All right, Newkirk,
Carter, take him back to camp.

The underground
will pick him up tomorrow night.

All right, sir. Raus!

Allez, au revoir,
Lieutenant. Bonne chance.

Au revoir, Colonel,
Vive la France.

Au revoir, Colonel.

I will never forget you.

I'll never forget
you, Lieutenant. Merci.

Unless I need a plumber.

In that case, you'll
be the first I'll forget.

Aha! Captain Franz,
Lieutenant Dubois,

the bulletproof vests--
all missing.

What do you know
about this, Hogan?

It's Burkhalter's way
of keeping you out of it.

He wants
to take credit himself.

Aha! I see. He wants
to make it look

as if I know
nothing about it.

Exactly, Commandant.

You know nothing.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Still, that Dubois--
he's a slippery type.

I didn't trust him.

Fixed your sink, didn't he?

I haven't
tried it yet.

Schultz,
check the faucet.

There you are, Commandant.

Mm-hmm.

Fixed the sink, huh?!

You and your
Lieutenant Dubois!

What do
we do now?

Well, if I were you,
I wouldn't pay his bill.

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