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1
00:00:01,971 --> 00:00:04,376
Good morning, beautiful.
2
00:00:04,428 --> 00:00:06,262
I think I might've messed
up the coffee again.
3
00:00:06,347 --> 00:00:07,880
Oh, come on, Clem. I'm sure it's fine.
4
00:00:13,811 --> 00:00:16,522
That is delicious.
5
00:00:17,845 --> 00:00:18,557
Aw...
6
00:00:18,609 --> 00:00:20,059
Nick, your mom is so adorable.
7
00:00:20,111 --> 00:00:21,443
She keeps texting me asking
8
00:00:21,529 --> 00:00:23,529
if I have the guest list to the wedding.
9
00:00:23,564 --> 00:00:25,698
That woman is obsessed with
sending out save the dates.
10
00:00:25,733 --> 00:00:28,433
Unfortunately, she calls them STDs.
11
00:00:29,937 --> 00:00:32,705
Oh... that explains her other text.
12
00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:34,106
Yeah.
13
00:00:34,158 --> 00:00:35,457
Have you guys seen the OJ?
14
00:00:35,543 --> 00:00:37,793
I swear I left the carton
on the couch last night.
15
00:00:37,879 --> 00:00:38,994
Uh, yeah, you did.
16
00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:40,212
I put it back in the refrigerator,
17
00:00:40,248 --> 00:00:41,967
you know, to keep it refrigerated.
18
00:00:42,002 --> 00:00:42,864
My bad.
19
00:00:43,768 --> 00:00:46,752
It's Gucci.
Just don't mess with my system.
20
00:00:47,404 --> 00:00:50,552
"My system"? Juice on the couch?
Dishes everywhere?
21
00:00:50,587 --> 00:00:53,292
- That's a broken system.
- She's 16.
22
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,761
And up until a week ago,
she was living with my dad.
23
00:00:55,813 --> 00:00:58,347
He never taught us things
like putting away dishes
24
00:00:58,432 --> 00:01:01,600
or, you know, eating off of dishes.
25
00:01:02,327 --> 00:01:03,485
You know what? I'll talk to her.
26
00:01:03,571 --> 00:01:05,354
Even though she does not
respond to criticism well.
27
00:01:05,439 --> 00:01:06,805
There's a good chance
she's gonna kill me,
28
00:01:06,858 --> 00:01:08,190
hide the body,
and my face is gonna end up
29
00:01:08,276 --> 00:01:09,658
on a milk carton that she left out.
30
00:01:11,540 --> 00:01:12,811
Yo, Shannon,
can I talk to you for a second?
31
00:01:12,864 --> 00:01:15,281
You got to do something
about your medicine cabinet.
32
00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:18,584
The funnest thing you
have in there is Claritin.
33
00:01:21,233 --> 00:01:22,288
Look, Shannon,
34
00:01:22,340 --> 00:01:24,256
now that you're living here,
which we are so excited about...
35
00:01:24,292 --> 00:01:27,492
I mean, I know I am...
36
00:01:27,545 --> 00:01:29,661
It'd be great if you could try to
keep the place a little tidier.
37
00:01:29,714 --> 00:01:32,131
- Tidier?
- Yes, tidier. Like that plate...
38
00:01:32,183 --> 00:01:33,632
When you're finished with it,
what are you gonna do with it?
39
00:01:33,684 --> 00:01:35,801
I don't know,
probably leave it here, walk away.
40
00:01:35,853 --> 00:01:37,636
If anyone asks, say it's Clem's.
41
00:01:39,307 --> 00:01:42,641
I'll put it this way: if you don't start
putting the dishes in the dishwasher,
42
00:01:42,693 --> 00:01:44,610
I'm gonna change the Wi-Fi password.
43
00:01:44,645 --> 00:01:48,030
Mm-hmm, yeah. I cracked your ATM code.
44
00:01:48,115 --> 00:01:50,349
I'm pretty sure I can hack your Wi-Fi.
45
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,450
You did what?
46
00:01:51,485 --> 00:01:53,535
Don't worry. I changed it.
47
00:01:53,621 --> 00:01:54,987
To what? Your birthday?
48
00:01:57,808 --> 00:01:58,791
I'll change it again.
49
00:02:00,378 --> 00:02:01,660
Look, Shannon,
we're not asking for a lot.
50
00:02:01,712 --> 00:02:03,245
We just want you to do a little bit more
51
00:02:03,331 --> 00:02:04,380
than you're doing right now,
52
00:02:04,465 --> 00:02:07,333
which is... absolutely nothing.
53
00:02:07,385 --> 00:02:10,252
Okay. Fine. Whatever.
54
00:02:12,640 --> 00:02:15,040
Oh, hey, girl. Talk to me.
55
00:02:15,092 --> 00:02:17,142
Uh, uh, excu... excuse me, Shannon?
56
00:02:17,178 --> 00:02:18,510
Shannon? Plate.
57
00:02:18,562 --> 00:02:20,479
Oh, I think that's Clem's. Sorry, I'm...
58
00:02:26,655 --> 00:02:28,709
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
www.addic7ed.com
59
00:02:29,006 --> 00:02:31,357
Rose, that pot roast was amazing.
Do you mind
60
00:02:31,409 --> 00:02:33,025
if we take a little
bit of it home with us?
61
00:02:33,077 --> 00:02:34,726
Why would you want to
take the pot roast home?
62
00:02:34,779 --> 00:02:36,912
There's, like, zero pot in it.
63
00:02:38,532 --> 00:02:40,582
Of course you can.
64
00:02:40,668 --> 00:02:41,834
In fact, take it all.
65
00:02:41,869 --> 00:02:44,069
Walt and I can't eat it,
that's for sure.
66
00:02:44,121 --> 00:02:48,055
Seriously? I got 11 hours of
televised golf this weekend
67
00:02:48,090 --> 00:02:51,844
and half a gallon of gravy.
I mean, take it, Clem, we insist.
68
00:02:53,631 --> 00:02:56,465
I'll go put it in some Tupperware.
69
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:57,749
- Ooh...
- Ooh...
70
00:02:57,802 --> 00:03:00,519
You have no idea what
you just signed up for.
71
00:03:00,554 --> 00:03:02,688
That woman is a Tupperware hawk.
72
00:03:03,578 --> 00:03:04,440
What does that mean?
73
00:03:04,525 --> 00:03:07,443
She is gonna ride your
ass till you return it.
74
00:03:07,528 --> 00:03:08,560
Mm-hmm.
75
00:03:08,612 --> 00:03:09,945
I don't understand.
76
00:03:10,031 --> 00:03:11,096
She said it was fine.
77
00:03:11,148 --> 00:03:12,531
Of course she did.
78
00:03:12,566 --> 00:03:14,599
She's an incredibly generous host.
79
00:03:14,652 --> 00:03:17,403
But when it comes to her Tupperware,
that woman is like Liam Neeson
80
00:03:17,455 --> 00:03:21,457
and those little glass containers
are like her abducted daughters.
81
00:03:21,542 --> 00:03:23,792
Ah, here you go.
82
00:03:23,878 --> 00:03:26,412
Just return this to me any old time.
83
00:03:30,868 --> 00:03:32,468
Before I forget,
84
00:03:32,553 --> 00:03:35,220
I was going over the guest
list for your wedding,
85
00:03:35,256 --> 00:03:37,973
and there seems to be a mistake.
86
00:03:38,059 --> 00:03:39,308
You left your father off.
87
00:03:39,393 --> 00:03:41,093
Oh, yeah, no, that's not a mistake.
88
00:03:41,145 --> 00:03:42,961
I was just worried
that if we invited him,
89
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:44,430
he might actually come.
90
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:49,234
But, Clem, if Dad's not there,
91
00:03:49,270 --> 00:03:52,438
who's gonna get drunk and hit on the
"most gettable" bridesmaid?
92
00:03:54,623 --> 00:03:55,807
Babe, I know we discussed this,
93
00:03:55,860 --> 00:03:57,409
but he is your father.
94
00:03:57,445 --> 00:03:58,744
If you don't invite him,
95
00:03:58,779 --> 00:04:00,479
I'm pretty sure you're
gonna regret it later.
96
00:04:00,531 --> 00:04:03,949
And I have so many STDs.
97
00:04:08,067 --> 00:04:11,006
Your wedding is supposed to be
the happiest day of your life.
98
00:04:11,092 --> 00:04:13,842
And if my dad comes...
99
00:04:13,928 --> 00:04:16,495
Okay, have you ever been on vacation,
100
00:04:16,547 --> 00:04:18,263
and you're so excited,
101
00:04:18,299 --> 00:04:20,466
and then the cruise
ship sinks and you die?
102
00:04:22,386 --> 00:04:24,186
That's how it'll feel.
103
00:04:24,271 --> 00:04:26,671
Oh, Clem, I understand.
104
00:04:26,724 --> 00:04:29,191
Honey, there's a lot of pain here.
105
00:04:29,276 --> 00:04:30,609
I won't push.
106
00:04:30,644 --> 00:04:32,945
Here comes the push.
107
00:04:32,980 --> 00:04:36,115
But I believe that no
relationship is beyond repair.
108
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:39,017
So, why don't we have your
father here for dinner,
109
00:04:39,070 --> 00:04:41,686
and you two can start mending fences.
110
00:04:41,721 --> 00:04:42,538
Have I ever mentioned
111
00:04:42,623 --> 00:04:45,657
that when my appendix burst,
my dad told me to walk it off?
112
00:04:46,208 --> 00:04:49,956
Sweetheart,
let me put my therapist hat on.
113
00:04:49,991 --> 00:04:52,498
This is a chance for you
to accept your father
114
00:04:52,550 --> 00:04:56,034
for who he is and begin
healing the wounds of the past.
115
00:04:57,613 --> 00:04:59,084
What do you think, Shannon?
116
00:04:59,119 --> 00:05:01,390
I think it's weird to be
taking advice from someone
117
00:05:01,475 --> 00:05:03,675
who's wearing an invisible hat.
118
00:05:07,614 --> 00:05:08,880
Well, honey, if you want my opinion,
119
00:05:08,933 --> 00:05:10,315
I don't think one dinner could hurt.
120
00:05:10,351 --> 00:05:12,434
And I know for a fact that
121
00:05:12,520 --> 00:05:14,553
my mom's never gonna give
this up if you don't say yes.
122
00:05:14,605 --> 00:05:15,720
It's true.
123
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:18,023
She is gonna wear you down, girl.
124
00:05:19,610 --> 00:05:20,993
What? You know I'm right.
125
00:05:21,028 --> 00:05:22,911
He's right, I will.
126
00:05:35,153 --> 00:05:36,318
You don't answer your phone?
127
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:38,137
I've been calling and texting all day.
128
00:05:38,189 --> 00:05:39,355
You think I text?
129
00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:40,740
Who am I, Steve Jobs?
130
00:05:42,143 --> 00:05:45,144
The only people who call
me are bill collectors.
131
00:05:45,213 --> 00:05:47,246
Wait, Best Buy didn't send you,
did they?
132
00:05:48,537 --> 00:05:49,498
I need to ask you something.
133
00:05:49,584 --> 00:05:52,535
Hang on, I'm filling out
my racing form here.
134
00:05:52,620 --> 00:05:54,319
You remember when you used
to help me pick the horses?
135
00:05:54,372 --> 00:05:57,456
Yep. When you lost,
we'd go to the pawn shop.
136
00:05:57,508 --> 00:05:59,291
When you won,
we'd go back to the pawn shop
137
00:05:59,343 --> 00:06:01,093
and pick up my bicycle.
138
00:06:01,732 --> 00:06:02,828
Come on, sit with me.
139
00:06:02,880 --> 00:06:03,996
What do you think?
140
00:06:04,048 --> 00:06:06,182
- You're the best at this.
- I don't care, Dad.
141
00:06:06,267 --> 00:06:08,267
Well, you're not the one
in deep to your bookie,
142
00:06:08,302 --> 00:06:09,351
and Best Buy.
143
00:06:10,446 --> 00:06:11,554
Help me out here.
144
00:06:11,639 --> 00:06:13,005
Any of these horses catch your eye?
145
00:06:13,057 --> 00:06:14,390
"Tar Heel,"
146
00:06:14,475 --> 00:06:15,725
"Jimmy J,"
147
00:06:15,810 --> 00:06:17,443
"Call Me By Your Mane"?
148
00:06:19,313 --> 00:06:20,613
Go with "Poor Child Eats."
149
00:06:20,648 --> 00:06:22,314
He's finished just out
of the money twice,
150
00:06:22,366 --> 00:06:23,649
and he dropped down a class.
151
00:06:23,701 --> 00:06:25,785
"Poor Child Eats" it is.
152
00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:28,404
Okay, sweetie, thanks for stopping by.
153
00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,123
That's not why I came here.
154
00:06:31,159 --> 00:06:32,625
Nick's parents want to know
155
00:06:32,660 --> 00:06:34,410
if you'd like to come over
for dinner tomorrow night.
156
00:06:34,495 --> 00:06:37,413
I know you're gonna say no,
but I promised I'd ask.
157
00:06:37,498 --> 00:06:38,714
Okay. Sure, I'll come.
158
00:06:39,643 --> 00:06:40,833
Uh, excuse me?
159
00:06:40,885 --> 00:06:42,134
Why would I say no?
160
00:06:42,170 --> 00:06:45,221
Because when have you
ever done anything for me?
161
00:06:45,306 --> 00:06:47,056
Hey, who got you that bike?
162
00:06:47,141 --> 00:06:48,340
Several times?
163
00:06:49,927 --> 00:06:51,977
So anyway, this, uh,
this dinner thing...
164
00:06:52,013 --> 00:06:53,045
should I bring Shannon?
165
00:06:53,636 --> 00:06:55,231
She moved out of here a week ago.
166
00:06:55,316 --> 00:06:56,482
She lives with me now.
167
00:06:56,517 --> 00:06:58,017
Did you seriously not notice?
168
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,769
Hey, I'm a busy homicide detective,
169
00:06:59,854 --> 00:07:02,404
you can't expect me to pay
attention to every detail.
170
00:07:06,244 --> 00:07:07,777
Oh, hey, Shannon,
can I talk to you for a second?
171
00:07:07,862 --> 00:07:10,996
Sure. One Mississippi, bye...
172
00:07:11,032 --> 00:07:12,248
Okay, seriously.
173
00:07:12,333 --> 00:07:15,000
Shannon, I really appreciate
you loading the dishwasher.
174
00:07:15,036 --> 00:07:16,335
Let's check out your work.
175
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,736
Now, you started off pretty strong.
176
00:07:17,789 --> 00:07:19,238
Plate, plate, plate.
177
00:07:19,290 --> 00:07:21,006
Now, here's where things
get a little rocky.
178
00:07:21,042 --> 00:07:22,208
Right, mm-hmm.
179
00:07:22,260 --> 00:07:23,793
- Plate, empty slot...
- Yeah.
180
00:07:23,878 --> 00:07:25,594
...bowl, sideways bowl,
181
00:07:26,150 --> 00:07:27,240
high-top.
182
00:07:28,049 --> 00:07:30,349
Cool. The gum came off.
183
00:07:33,020 --> 00:07:34,470
Oh, hey, babe.
How'd it go with your dad?
184
00:07:34,555 --> 00:07:36,021
Fantastic.
185
00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:40,726
Okay, what happened?
186
00:07:40,778 --> 00:07:43,896
I invited him to dinner,
and guess what he said.
187
00:07:43,948 --> 00:07:47,199
"I can't go.
I have a date with a hooker."
188
00:07:48,883 --> 00:07:51,120
He said yes. Hence...
189
00:07:51,205 --> 00:07:52,154
Ah, ah, ah. Okay.
190
00:07:52,240 --> 00:07:53,322
Come on, Clem.
191
00:07:53,407 --> 00:07:54,773
I think this can be a good thing.
192
00:07:54,826 --> 00:07:56,208
Look, I know you.
193
00:07:56,244 --> 00:07:58,794
You're a strong woman.
You can handle anything.
194
00:07:58,829 --> 00:07:59,995
Maybe not the coffee maker.
195
00:08:01,799 --> 00:08:03,666
But I have no doubt that
you can handle your dad.
196
00:08:03,751 --> 00:08:05,301
That's easy for you to say.
197
00:08:05,386 --> 00:08:07,119
Your dad's perfect.
198
00:08:07,171 --> 00:08:08,921
Perfect? You didn't grow up with him.
199
00:08:08,973 --> 00:08:10,306
The man is far from perfect.
200
00:08:10,391 --> 00:08:12,391
Aw, really?
201
00:08:12,426 --> 00:08:14,510
What did he do to you?
202
00:08:14,595 --> 00:08:17,313
Did he give you too much ice cream?
203
00:08:18,245 --> 00:08:20,649
No. He's more of a fro-yo guy.
204
00:08:20,735 --> 00:08:23,936
I mean, every Thursday night.
205
00:08:23,988 --> 00:08:27,489
I mean, come on, switch it up, Walt!
206
00:08:28,250 --> 00:08:30,242
Okay... let me get this straight.
207
00:08:30,278 --> 00:08:33,112
My dad wouldn't let me take
ballet lessons when I was six
208
00:08:33,164 --> 00:08:34,446
because, and I quote,
209
00:08:34,498 --> 00:08:36,749
"My daughter ain't
gonna be no stripper."
210
00:08:38,119 --> 00:08:39,668
And you're complaining that your dad
211
00:08:39,754 --> 00:08:41,921
would occasionally
get you frozen treats?
212
00:08:41,956 --> 00:08:45,341
Well, excuse me for trying
to fit in with you guys.
213
00:08:46,621 --> 00:08:49,545
Why you got to be so mean?
214
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:51,964
This dinner is gonna be a disaster.
215
00:08:52,016 --> 00:08:53,432
Let's hope.
216
00:08:53,467 --> 00:08:54,466
What do you mean?
217
00:08:54,518 --> 00:08:56,135
If Dad's his typical jerk self,
218
00:08:56,187 --> 00:08:58,020
then Walt and Rose will
finally get off your back
219
00:08:58,105 --> 00:08:59,688
about having him come to the wedding.
220
00:08:59,774 --> 00:09:00,940
You know what, you're right.
221
00:09:00,975 --> 00:09:02,007
This is perfect.
222
00:09:02,059 --> 00:09:04,176
I'll get credit for giving Dad a chance,
223
00:09:04,228 --> 00:09:07,313
and they'll think that I'm the mature,
evolved person
224
00:09:07,365 --> 00:09:09,064
that I absolutely am not.
225
00:09:12,737 --> 00:09:14,703
Come in, come in.
226
00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:18,190
Wait till you see the
meal this lady prepared.
227
00:09:18,242 --> 00:09:21,961
But save some room,
'cause we got fro-yo.
228
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:29,701
We are so excited about
having your father over.
229
00:09:29,754 --> 00:09:33,005
So, no Tupperware?
230
00:09:37,478 --> 00:09:39,929
We haven't finished the pot roast yet.
231
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,847
Oh, no problem. Totally fine.
232
00:09:41,899 --> 00:09:44,483
No rush. When you're finished,
you'll bring it back.
233
00:09:44,518 --> 00:09:45,517
Absolutely.
234
00:09:45,569 --> 00:09:47,186
When do you think that'll be?
235
00:09:48,646 --> 00:09:49,355
Oh.
236
00:09:49,407 --> 00:09:50,522
Here we go.
237
00:09:50,574 --> 00:09:52,157
Hey. Somebody call the police?
238
00:09:53,244 --> 00:09:55,611
Freddy, so good you could make it.
239
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:56,946
Ah, I wouldn't miss it for the world.
240
00:09:57,031 --> 00:09:59,331
Hello, girls. Don't you look lovely?
241
00:09:59,367 --> 00:10:03,068
- Thank you?
- Thank you?
242
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:06,071
Walt, this is for you.
I hear you're a wine guy.
243
00:10:06,123 --> 00:10:09,741
Oh, Freddy,
this is a very nice bottle of wine.
244
00:10:09,794 --> 00:10:11,176
You-you shouldn't have.
245
00:10:11,212 --> 00:10:12,411
Oh, no, no, I didn't buy it.
246
00:10:12,463 --> 00:10:14,430
God, no. I swiped it
from the evidence locker.
247
00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,267
Big hedge fund manager got
whacked in his brownstone.
248
00:10:18,352 --> 00:10:19,969
His loss, our gain, right?
249
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,255
I should be horrified,
but you don't pass up
250
00:10:23,307 --> 00:10:24,923
a '93 Chateau Margaux.
251
00:10:24,976 --> 00:10:29,311
Grab some glasses, Nick,
we're gonna open this bad boy up.
252
00:10:29,397 --> 00:10:30,813
So nice to have you here, Freddy.
253
00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:33,365
Well, thank you so much
for inviting me, Rose.
254
00:10:33,401 --> 00:10:35,951
And, uh, what is that
that smells so terrific?
255
00:10:36,037 --> 00:10:37,736
Oh, it's just my chicken marsala.
256
00:10:37,788 --> 00:10:41,490
- Oh. Elegant and a good cook.
- Thank you.
257
00:10:41,575 --> 00:10:44,043
You remind me of the woman that
broke up my first marriage.
258
00:10:48,916 --> 00:10:51,300
How sweet of you to say.
259
00:10:51,385 --> 00:10:53,502
Um, I'm gonna go check on the dinner.
260
00:10:53,587 --> 00:10:56,722
Make yourself comfortable.
261
00:10:59,558 --> 00:11:01,260
All right, Dad, what's going on?
262
00:11:01,312 --> 00:11:02,561
You're on time, you brought a gift,
263
00:11:02,596 --> 00:11:05,147
it's 6:00,
and you don't smell like tequila.
264
00:11:05,232 --> 00:11:06,598
What, I can't make a good impression?
265
00:11:06,650 --> 00:11:10,152
No. That is why we're confused.
266
00:11:10,856 --> 00:11:12,971
Hey, Freddy, just curious.
267
00:11:13,024 --> 00:11:15,140
These red spots on the bottle,
it's not...
268
00:11:15,192 --> 00:11:16,942
Yeah, it's blood.
269
00:11:18,746 --> 00:11:19,945
Okay.
270
00:11:22,283 --> 00:11:23,916
So the guy aims the gun at me,
271
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,918
cocks the hammer, and bang.
272
00:11:25,953 --> 00:11:27,836
When you're staring death in her face,
273
00:11:27,922 --> 00:11:30,155
time completely slows down.
274
00:11:30,207 --> 00:11:31,457
So, what happened, Dad?
275
00:11:31,509 --> 00:11:33,792
Were you killed?
276
00:11:35,379 --> 00:11:37,096
Very funny.
277
00:11:37,131 --> 00:11:38,847
The truth is, I thought of you, Shannon.
278
00:11:38,933 --> 00:11:39,965
And you, Clem.
279
00:11:40,017 --> 00:11:43,835
And I realized in that moment
280
00:11:43,888 --> 00:11:46,021
that I haven't been much
of a dad to you girls.
281
00:11:46,107 --> 00:11:49,224
And if that bullet hit me,
I'd never get that chance.
282
00:11:50,728 --> 00:11:54,113
I was once nearly concussed
when a lighting rig fell
283
00:11:54,148 --> 00:11:56,398
when I was starring in
the Broadway production
284
00:11:56,484 --> 00:11:57,866
of Miss Saigon.
285
00:12:00,738 --> 00:12:02,621
But continue.
286
00:12:03,432 --> 00:12:04,740
Anyway, it all ended happy.
287
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,792
I ducked and shot him in the face.
The end.
288
00:12:06,827 --> 00:12:09,528
These potatoes are dynamite.
289
00:12:10,161 --> 00:12:11,530
I've never heard that story before, Dad.
290
00:12:11,582 --> 00:12:14,299
Happened last Thursday.
It was a real wake-up call.
291
00:12:14,335 --> 00:12:15,918
It just proves
292
00:12:16,003 --> 00:12:18,137
that sometimes it takes
a life-changing event,
293
00:12:18,172 --> 00:12:20,923
like a near-death experience,
or a wedding,
294
00:12:21,008 --> 00:12:23,041
to realize
295
00:12:23,094 --> 00:12:26,011
there is nothing more
important than family.
296
00:12:26,063 --> 00:12:28,013
I gotta say, Freddy,
297
00:12:28,065 --> 00:12:30,149
your life sounds incredibly exciting.
298
00:12:30,184 --> 00:12:31,733
Well, you should stop
by the station tomorrow.
299
00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:32,768
I'll show you around.
300
00:12:32,853 --> 00:12:34,520
Can I ride in the patrol car?
301
00:12:35,231 --> 00:12:37,239
Hell, you can shoot my gun.
You're family.
302
00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:40,909
Oh, no, I got it. Let me help you.
303
00:12:43,384 --> 00:12:46,165
Can you believe he
expects us to fall for this?
304
00:12:47,668 --> 00:12:48,834
Wait, you're not falling for this.
305
00:12:48,869 --> 00:12:49,868
Oh, my God, are you falling for this?
306
00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:51,286
How could you fall for this?
307
00:12:52,362 --> 00:12:54,339
Dude, did you not hear that story?
308
00:12:54,375 --> 00:12:55,757
I think it really affected him.
309
00:12:55,843 --> 00:12:57,259
I think so, too.
310
00:12:57,344 --> 00:12:58,743
And I can't believe
I just agreed with someone
311
00:12:58,796 --> 00:13:01,597
who put aluminum foil in the
microwave six times today.
312
00:13:03,134 --> 00:13:06,385
I don't care what he said.
People don't just change.
313
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,769
Oh, really?
314
00:13:07,855 --> 00:13:09,588
You're always talking
about how you've changed,
315
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:12,757
how you're all together
now with your fancy job
316
00:13:12,810 --> 00:13:14,259
and your young-mom-
in-a-mini-van outfits.
317
00:13:16,197 --> 00:13:17,446
"Young mom"?
318
00:13:17,531 --> 00:13:18,814
Yeah.
319
00:13:18,899 --> 00:13:21,617
This is cocktail sexy.
320
00:13:21,702 --> 00:13:23,768
Oh, sure. Very... very sexy.
321
00:13:23,821 --> 00:13:25,787
Um, by the way,
do you mind if I watch Shrek
322
00:13:25,873 --> 00:13:27,739
on your back seat DVD player?
Is that okay?
323
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,749
You are so pretty.
324
00:13:42,590 --> 00:13:45,257
Yo, Nick, did you notice my surprise?
325
00:13:45,309 --> 00:13:47,392
I noticed those are my headphones.
326
00:13:49,897 --> 00:13:52,130
Okay, look at this. Look, look, look.
327
00:13:52,183 --> 00:13:54,933
I unloaded the dishwasher,
just like you asked.
328
00:13:54,985 --> 00:13:57,569
Well, Shannon, thank you.
I am impressed.
329
00:13:57,605 --> 00:13:59,137
Now, when you ran it,
did you use rinse aid
330
00:13:59,190 --> 00:13:59,988
or just detergent?
331
00:14:00,074 --> 00:14:01,990
When I ran what?
332
00:14:03,410 --> 00:14:05,360
Coming.
333
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,362
Hi.
334
00:14:07,448 --> 00:14:08,447
Oh, hey, Mom and Dad. What's up?
335
00:14:08,499 --> 00:14:09,648
Oh, nothing.
336
00:14:09,700 --> 00:14:11,416
We were just out for a little stroll,
337
00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:13,485
and we thought that we would pop by
338
00:14:13,537 --> 00:14:16,205
for a quick hello... Hello.
339
00:14:17,288 --> 00:14:19,708
She's here for the Tupperware.
340
00:14:20,637 --> 00:14:22,127
Mom, mo... There's still food in there.
341
00:14:22,179 --> 00:14:23,545
You had your time.
342
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:27,966
I just wanted to thank you
guys for having my father over.
343
00:14:28,018 --> 00:14:31,186
Oh, not a problem. And like I told you,
344
00:14:31,272 --> 00:14:34,556
you never know someone's changed
until you give them a chance.
345
00:14:34,642 --> 00:14:36,024
He did seem different.
346
00:14:36,110 --> 00:14:37,976
I mean, he was charming, he was funny.
347
00:14:38,028 --> 00:14:39,444
I've never seen him do karaoke before.
348
00:14:39,480 --> 00:14:41,146
Who would have guessed
that he knew all the lyrics
349
00:14:41,198 --> 00:14:43,348
to "Baby Got Back"?
350
00:14:43,927 --> 00:14:46,285
It seems your father's
turned over a new leaf.
351
00:14:46,320 --> 00:14:49,538
And that new charity he started?
Very impressive.
352
00:14:49,623 --> 00:14:50,989
Charity?
353
00:14:51,041 --> 00:14:52,741
Yes, the one for children.
354
00:14:52,826 --> 00:14:54,876
He's very passionate about it.
What's it called?
355
00:14:54,962 --> 00:14:58,080
- Poor Child Eats.
- Yes.
356
00:14:58,165 --> 00:14:59,864
I wrote him a check for
it when I visited him
357
00:14:59,917 --> 00:15:01,531
at the police station today.
358
00:15:01,566 --> 00:15:03,085
- Come on, Rose.
- Mm. Bye.
359
00:15:03,170 --> 00:15:05,003
Bye.
360
00:15:06,082 --> 00:15:08,890
I knew it.
I knew Dad was working some angle.
361
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:11,313
What are you talking about?
Did you not just hear them?
362
00:15:11,348 --> 00:15:12,877
He started a charity.
363
00:15:12,930 --> 00:15:14,596
He doesn't have a charity.
364
00:15:14,682 --> 00:15:17,349
Then what did my dad give money to?
365
00:15:17,401 --> 00:15:20,936
Two grand on Poor Child Eats to win.
366
00:15:22,119 --> 00:15:24,823
And if he does,
I'm taking you... Gloria,
367
00:15:24,858 --> 00:15:28,193
to... Chipotle.
368
00:15:39,334 --> 00:15:41,030
Of course you're here.
369
00:15:41,115 --> 00:15:44,200
You are seriously the most
horrible person in the world.
370
00:15:44,285 --> 00:15:47,203
Well, it's good to be
the best at something.
371
00:15:47,953 --> 00:15:50,039
I can't believe the only
reason you came to dinner
372
00:15:50,124 --> 00:15:53,876
was to scam Walt out of $2,000
so that you could bet on a horse.
373
00:15:53,961 --> 00:15:55,161
Do you know how that makes me look?
374
00:15:55,213 --> 00:15:57,746
I guess, by comparison, pretty good.
375
00:15:58,627 --> 00:16:00,332
I had no choice, Clem, I told you.
376
00:16:00,384 --> 00:16:01,417
I'm in deep with this bookie,
377
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:04,503
and I got the Geek Squad
guys breathing down my neck.
378
00:16:04,555 --> 00:16:06,338
But if this bet hits,
everything's gonna be fine.
379
00:16:07,312 --> 00:16:08,674
Come on, the race is about to start.
380
00:16:08,726 --> 00:16:10,226
Let's watch it, like we used to.
381
00:16:10,311 --> 00:16:11,760
Like we used to?
382
00:16:11,846 --> 00:16:14,346
Does that mean you're gonna
give me a cigar to smoke, too?
383
00:16:14,398 --> 00:16:15,764
You want one?
384
00:16:15,850 --> 00:16:18,184
No. I didn't like cigars when I was 11,
385
00:16:18,236 --> 00:16:20,867
- and I don't like them now.
- Come on, stay.
386
00:16:21,078 --> 00:16:22,144
And they're off.
387
00:16:22,179 --> 00:16:23,856
Call Me By Your Mane is
quick out of the gate,
388
00:16:23,908 --> 00:16:25,941
followed closely by
A Horse With This Name
389
00:16:26,027 --> 00:16:27,526
and No, You're the Puppet.
390
00:16:27,578 --> 00:16:30,613
Right behind them, Poor Child
Eats is making an early charge.
391
00:16:30,698 --> 00:16:32,414
Look at that, he's pulling up
on the outside. Come on, baby.
392
00:16:32,500 --> 00:16:33,666
I don't care.
393
00:16:33,701 --> 00:16:35,951
Bojack Horsehorse leaps into second
394
00:16:36,037 --> 00:16:37,736
as Poor Child Eats is hanging tough.
395
00:16:37,788 --> 00:16:38,871
Around the corner they come.
396
00:16:38,923 --> 00:16:40,172
Could be anyone's race at this point.
397
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:41,373
- As the finish approaches...
- Come on.
398
00:16:41,425 --> 00:16:43,042
...it's Poor Child Eats
pulling up on the rail.
399
00:16:43,094 --> 00:16:44,076
- Poor Child Eats closing in.
- Come on.
400
00:16:44,128 --> 00:16:47,079
It's Poor Child Eats by a nose!
401
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:49,131
- Yes!
- Yeah!
402
00:16:49,217 --> 00:16:51,550
Yes! Yes!
403
00:16:51,602 --> 00:16:53,445
You did it, Clem.
You picked another winner.
404
00:16:53,489 --> 00:16:56,939
- Damn right I did.
- Just like old times, huh?
405
00:16:57,024 --> 00:17:00,616
Yeah. Wait. No, don't even.
406
00:17:00,651 --> 00:17:02,228
I'm still mad at you.
407
00:17:02,864 --> 00:17:06,148
Hey, I know I wasn't the perfect father,
408
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,617
- but you turned out okay.
- No thanks to you.
409
00:17:08,703 --> 00:17:11,070
Did you ever think there
was a method to my madness?
410
00:17:11,122 --> 00:17:15,291
I mean, I knew I was no good,
so instead of half-assing it,
411
00:17:15,376 --> 00:17:17,293
I zero-assed it.
412
00:17:17,786 --> 00:17:19,007
- Excuse me?
- Yeah.
413
00:17:19,097 --> 00:17:21,046
I figured if I didn't try at all,
you'd be forced
414
00:17:21,082 --> 00:17:22,614
to sink or swim on your own,
415
00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:24,250
and you swam.
416
00:17:24,302 --> 00:17:26,001
I'm proud of you, Clem.
417
00:17:26,087 --> 00:17:28,504
There was no philosophy.
418
00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:30,422
You were just a terrible father.
419
00:17:30,474 --> 00:17:33,092
Yeah, but the "zero-assed"
thing sounded pretty good.
420
00:17:34,929 --> 00:17:37,763
The truth is I am proud of you.
421
00:17:37,815 --> 00:17:41,633
And you got to admit,
we had some good times, right?
422
00:17:42,828 --> 00:17:44,320
Yeah, I guess we did.
423
00:17:45,307 --> 00:17:46,488
Occasionally.
424
00:17:46,574 --> 00:17:48,240
You know, in baseball, if you hit .300,
425
00:17:48,276 --> 00:17:49,525
you're in the Hall of Fame.
426
00:17:49,610 --> 00:17:53,329
And in parenting,
if you use the ball pit at IKEA
427
00:17:53,414 --> 00:17:56,999
as a babysitter,
you get a call from Child Services.
428
00:17:57,084 --> 00:18:00,152
I did get a call.
429
00:18:00,204 --> 00:18:02,254
The woman was nice.
I took her to Mexico.
430
00:18:06,928 --> 00:18:09,211
I'm so sorry about my dad,
but at least I was able
431
00:18:09,297 --> 00:18:10,329
to get your money back.
432
00:18:10,381 --> 00:18:11,880
Oh, don't worry, sweetheart.
433
00:18:11,966 --> 00:18:15,217
These things happen, especially to Walt.
434
00:18:15,843 --> 00:18:17,886
He bought a time share in India.
435
00:18:17,972 --> 00:18:20,189
We went there to see it, and guess what?
436
00:18:20,544 --> 00:18:22,191
No time share.
437
00:18:24,486 --> 00:18:28,480
I am so sorry I pressured you into
inviting your father to the wedding.
438
00:18:28,532 --> 00:18:32,401
Sometimes I just need to back
off and mind my own business.
439
00:18:32,486 --> 00:18:35,037
No, you know what,
if you hadn't done that,
440
00:18:35,122 --> 00:18:37,873
I wouldn't have had the first
nice moment I've had with him
441
00:18:37,959 --> 00:18:40,859
in years, so... thank you.
442
00:18:40,911 --> 00:18:42,911
Well, if you change your mind
and you do want
443
00:18:42,997 --> 00:18:46,165
to invite him to the wedding,
you just say the word,
444
00:18:46,217 --> 00:18:48,751
and I will give your daddy an STD.
445
00:18:54,642 --> 00:18:55,724
You wouldn't be the first.
446
00:18:58,062 --> 00:19:00,262
You okay?
447
00:19:00,348 --> 00:19:03,548
Yeah. I just feel like a giant idiot
for believing that Dad changed.
448
00:19:03,601 --> 00:19:05,351
No, don't.
449
00:19:05,403 --> 00:19:07,569
It's good that you still have hope.
450
00:19:07,655 --> 00:19:11,023
It's completely misguided,
but hold onto it.
451
00:19:11,635 --> 00:19:12,391
For what it's worth,
452
00:19:12,443 --> 00:19:14,726
I'm happy I'm living
with you guys and not him.
453
00:19:14,779 --> 00:19:16,592
- Mm.
- Oh, my parents took off?
454
00:19:16,627 --> 00:19:19,401
Yeah, they split.
I was just about to tell Shannon
455
00:19:19,436 --> 00:19:21,455
how happy we are that
she's living with us.
456
00:19:21,490 --> 00:19:22,201
Right, Nick?
457
00:19:34,140 --> 00:19:36,746
♪ I like big butts and I cannot lie ♪
458
00:19:36,832 --> 00:19:38,415
♪ You other brothers can't deny ♪
459
00:19:38,500 --> 00:19:40,500
♪ When a girl walks in
with an itty bitty waist ♪
460
00:19:40,552 --> 00:19:42,719
♪ And a round thing in
your face you get sprung ♪
461
00:19:42,805 --> 00:19:44,087
- Ah!
- ♪ Want to pull up tough ♪
462
00:19:44,173 --> 00:19:45,872
♪ 'Cause you notice
that butt was stuffed ♪
463
00:19:45,924 --> 00:19:47,724
♪ Deep in the jeans she's wearing ♪
464
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:49,709
♪ I'm hooked, and I can't stop staring ♪
465
00:19:49,761 --> 00:19:52,395
♪ Oh, baby, I want to get wit'cha ♪
466
00:19:52,481 --> 00:19:53,680
♪ And take your picture ♪
467
00:19:53,732 --> 00:19:55,048
♪ My homeboys tried to warn me ♪
468
00:19:55,100 --> 00:19:56,266
♪ But with that butt you got ♪
469
00:19:56,351 --> 00:19:57,350
- ♪ Makes me so horny ♪
- ♪ Me so horny ♪
470
00:19:57,402 --> 00:19:58,885
♪ Use me, use me ♪
471
00:19:58,937 --> 00:20:00,937
♪ 'Cause you ain't
that average groupie. ♪
472
00:20:01,777 --> 00:20:03,323
Ow!
34976
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