Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:04,805 --> 00:00:07,175
[sirens wailing]
2
00:00:10,711 --> 00:00:11,579
Mom.
3
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,647
Mom.
4
00:00:13,747 --> 00:00:14,548
Oh.
5
00:00:17,585 --> 00:00:18,952
My painting.
6
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:23,591
Where's dad?
7
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:24,758
He's still being questioned.
8
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,294
Are they going to arrest him?
9
00:00:26,394 --> 00:00:29,163
I don't know.
10
00:00:29,263 --> 00:00:31,532
SERGEANT: Full name.
11
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:33,901
Bellow, Benjamin.
12
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:36,036
Your first name is Bellow?
13
00:00:36,137 --> 00:00:38,372
Bellow, comma, Benjamin.
14
00:00:38,472 --> 00:00:40,941
Judge Bellow?
15
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:42,343
There is an explanation.
16
00:00:42,443 --> 00:00:43,977
Yeah.
17
00:00:44,078 --> 00:00:46,380
I can't wait to hear it.
18
00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:50,651
It all started with
that damn painting.
19
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:55,289
We didn't ask for it to come
into our lives, but it did.
20
00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:59,026
Ever since Jessie married Tom,
I've wanted to do this for you.
21
00:01:02,796 --> 00:01:03,597
Why do I have a beard?
22
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:10,204
It's so huge.
23
00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:13,107
I know.
24
00:01:13,207 --> 00:01:14,942
What do we do?
25
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:16,710
We burn it.
26
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,379
But it's in our house.
27
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:22,150
Then we burn down the house.
28
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:23,751
BEN (VOICEOVER): But
sometimes, the only thing
29
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:25,653
to do when fate
drop-kicks you in the nuts
30
00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,521
is to take it like a man.
31
00:01:27,621 --> 00:01:31,058
So what do you think?
32
00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,929
Oh, we love it.
33
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:43,571
[THEME - HAWKSLEY WORKMAN AND
DOLLY, "YES I DO"]
34
00:01:43,671 --> 00:01:48,776
THEME MUSIC: Can we find a
way that can be together?
35
00:01:48,876 --> 00:01:53,681
Is there any way that
we can be together?
36
00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:57,585
And oh, by the way,
baby, do you love me?
37
00:01:57,685 --> 00:01:59,052
Yes I do.
38
00:01:59,153 --> 00:02:00,053
Yes I do.
39
00:02:00,154 --> 00:02:02,490
Yes I do.
40
00:02:02,590 --> 00:02:03,957
Yes I do.
41
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,435
BEN (VOICEOVER): We devised a
plan to deal with the portrait.
42
00:02:14,535 --> 00:02:15,536
And at first, it worked.
43
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,437
[doorbell ringing]
44
00:02:16,537 --> 00:02:17,505
We have company.
45
00:02:23,877 --> 00:02:26,247
I'll be right there.
46
00:02:26,347 --> 00:02:27,215
TARA: Hey.
47
00:02:27,315 --> 00:02:29,717
JUDITH: Hi.
48
00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:31,285
Oh, Tara, hi.
49
00:02:31,385 --> 00:02:35,323
Just came to
borrow some sugar.
50
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,425
BEN (VOICEOVER): But after
one too many close calls,
51
00:02:37,525 --> 00:02:38,526
we couldn't take it.
52
00:02:38,626 --> 00:02:39,660
Something had to be done.
53
00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,663
If not for us, for the family.
54
00:02:42,763 --> 00:02:45,266
I'm just saying it's not like
Bugs is anatomically correct.
55
00:02:45,366 --> 00:02:46,767
So how do we really
know he's a guy?
56
00:02:46,867 --> 00:02:50,170
All cartoon animals are
by default male, you know,
57
00:02:50,271 --> 00:02:51,138
unless they sex them up.
58
00:02:51,239 --> 00:02:53,407
Big eyelashes, bow in the hair.
59
00:02:53,507 --> 00:02:55,343
So who's the sexiest
cartoon animal?
60
00:02:55,443 --> 00:02:56,444
Oh, Petunia Pig.
61
00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:57,811
Porky's girlfriend?
62
00:02:57,911 --> 00:03:01,982
Yeah, short
skirt, no underwear.
63
00:03:02,082 --> 00:03:05,353
So that time we
made our movie,
64
00:03:05,453 --> 00:03:07,921
you suggested I wear the hair
bow and that short skirt.
65
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,123
Yeah, I mean, it had
nothing to do with Petunia.
66
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:12,293
There was a barnyard theme.
67
00:03:12,393 --> 00:03:13,727
And you called me Petunia!
68
00:03:13,827 --> 00:03:15,028
Coincidence!
69
00:03:15,128 --> 00:03:16,063
Have a look for yourself.
70
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:17,064
You look nothing like her.
71
00:03:17,164 --> 00:03:20,468
That disk was destroyed.
72
00:03:20,568 --> 00:03:23,971
Tom, I told you to banish that
thing to the land of never was.
73
00:03:24,071 --> 00:03:26,006
I thought you meant, the land
of never show it to me again,
74
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,875
but you can keep it
for yourself, honey.
75
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:29,443
Please, not the face
76
00:03:29,543 --> 00:03:31,144
This is the part where
you find that disk,
77
00:03:31,245 --> 00:03:32,280
and you destroy
it in front of me.
78
00:03:32,380 --> 00:03:34,014
Or this is the only
face you'll be seeing.
79
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,483
[viola screeching]
80
00:03:35,583 --> 00:03:37,818
Ugh, she's still at it?
81
00:03:37,918 --> 00:03:39,119
Afraid so.
82
00:03:44,024 --> 00:03:46,427
BEN (VOICEOVER): We never
mentioned the painting.
83
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,761
But we felt it.
84
00:03:47,861 --> 00:03:49,297
Something foul was in the air.
85
00:04:01,942 --> 00:04:04,845
What on earth are you smoking?
86
00:04:04,945 --> 00:04:05,746
A cigar.
87
00:04:05,846 --> 00:04:06,847
Capitulos, actually.
88
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,649
Got a whole box for 500 bucks.
89
00:04:08,749 --> 00:04:12,620
Ben, you know how I feel
about cigars in the house.
90
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:16,757
You know I feel about
your viola ambitions.
91
00:04:16,857 --> 00:04:18,258
[coughing]
92
00:04:18,359 --> 00:04:19,360
So that's how
it's going to be?
93
00:04:19,460 --> 00:04:22,195
That's how it's going to be.
94
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,532
What happened to us, Ben?
95
00:04:24,632 --> 00:04:27,768
We've been at each
other for days.
96
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,738
That portrait
is what happened.
97
00:04:30,838 --> 00:04:32,773
I'll paint your whole
family, says she.
98
00:04:32,873 --> 00:04:34,542
Oh, that'd be lovely, says you.
99
00:04:34,642 --> 00:04:36,844
Let's hang it in the
living room, says she.
100
00:04:36,944 --> 00:04:37,745
Why not?
101
00:04:37,845 --> 00:04:38,946
Says you.
102
00:04:39,046 --> 00:04:40,614
What was I supposed to
do, suggest the basement?
103
00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,750
We could have hung
it in your study.
104
00:04:42,850 --> 00:04:44,452
I'd as soon have hung myself.
105
00:04:44,552 --> 00:04:46,420
I'll get the rope
106
00:04:46,520 --> 00:04:48,622
BEN (VOICEOVER): The
stench was spreading.
107
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,058
Everyone was on
edge, even my son.
108
00:04:51,158 --> 00:04:53,126
It was right here.
109
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,028
You kept that
thing in open view?
110
00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:55,929
Well, no.
111
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:59,132
I hit it in stupid game.
112
00:04:59,232 --> 00:05:01,635
Golftastic.
113
00:05:01,735 --> 00:05:03,904
I give that to your dad.
114
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:06,206
I thought it might
help his golf swing.
115
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:07,274
Tom, stop!
116
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,175
What?
117
00:05:08,275 --> 00:05:10,978
You're naked.
118
00:05:11,078 --> 00:05:13,213
And?
119
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:15,248
We could spill paint on it.
120
00:05:15,349 --> 00:05:16,249
Accidentally, of course.
121
00:05:16,350 --> 00:05:17,818
I think that's what Tara did.
122
00:05:17,918 --> 00:05:19,252
Why don't we just
tell her the truth?
123
00:05:19,353 --> 00:05:22,289
Every time Wendy sees it,
she cries and wets herself.
124
00:05:22,390 --> 00:05:23,156
Huh?
125
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,429
I'll tell you.
126
00:05:28,529 --> 00:05:30,464
This is only a problem as long
as Tom and Jessie are married.
127
00:05:30,564 --> 00:05:33,200
If we were to covertly
undermine their marriage--
128
00:05:33,300 --> 00:05:35,235
Be serious.
129
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,770
Show me a downside
on that one.
130
00:05:40,541 --> 00:05:42,510
I have an idea.
131
00:05:42,610 --> 00:05:45,679
But it might go against the
values that make us who we are.
132
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:48,749
And it might be illegal.
133
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:51,118
Well I'm an officer
of the court, Judith.
134
00:05:51,218 --> 00:05:53,487
I'm bound by the law.
135
00:05:53,587 --> 00:05:54,822
SERGEANT: You really said that?
136
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:55,789
Verbatim.
137
00:05:55,889 --> 00:05:56,757
And I meant it.
138
00:05:56,857 --> 00:05:58,258
But a crime was committed.
139
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:00,394
It wasn't our intent.
140
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,629
But I'm getting to that.
141
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:03,731
I can't look at that
thing for the next 35 years!
142
00:06:03,831 --> 00:06:04,898
It's just a stupid painting.
143
00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:06,166
Why can't you get used to it?
144
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:07,935
- We'll have to move from here.
- For the love of God.
145
00:06:08,035 --> 00:06:09,136
No.
No.
146
00:06:09,236 --> 00:06:10,203
BEN (VOICEOVER): We debated.
147
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:11,772
I was adamant, but
she kept at me.
148
00:06:11,872 --> 00:06:14,908
And deep down, I knew
it was our best shot.
149
00:06:15,008 --> 00:06:16,510
We're really going
to do this, aren't we?
150
00:06:19,312 --> 00:06:21,649
BEN (VOICEOVER):
The plan was simple.
151
00:06:21,749 --> 00:06:23,617
We would stage a minor
break in that would
152
00:06:23,717 --> 00:06:25,619
appear real to Tara and Phil.
153
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,855
And then we take not only
the painting, but also
154
00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:30,524
a few other items of value.
155
00:06:30,624 --> 00:06:33,260
The stolen items would
be taken to the basement,
156
00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:37,498
and hidden in the
furnace room temporarily.
157
00:06:37,598 --> 00:06:40,901
We would create signs
of forced entry.
158
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:42,970
Judith would then
drive me to work,
159
00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:48,375
return a short while later,
and discover the break in.
160
00:06:48,476 --> 00:06:49,877
[gasping]
161
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:55,749
Naturally, she'd have to inform
Tara of this unfortunate crime.
162
00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,091
Tears would be shed, and the
matter would be put to rest.
163
00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:09,497
Later that night,
the stolen items
164
00:07:09,597 --> 00:07:11,799
would be driven to my office.
165
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,967
And the painting, of
course, would be destroyed.
166
00:07:21,742 --> 00:07:23,410
At least, that was the plan.
167
00:07:23,511 --> 00:07:25,746
Didn't work?
168
00:07:25,846 --> 00:07:27,047
Yeah.
169
00:07:27,147 --> 00:07:29,416
Everything worked perfectly,
we all got off scot-free.
170
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,887
Do you have children, Sergeant?
171
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:39,159
Tom!
172
00:07:39,259 --> 00:07:40,494
You're supposed to be at work.
173
00:07:40,594 --> 00:07:41,795
You're supposed
to be in class.
174
00:07:41,895 --> 00:07:45,866
I'm just, uh,
looking for something.
175
00:07:45,966 --> 00:07:50,170
What are you doing?
- Oh we're, um, redecorating.
176
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:53,907
What are you looking for?
- Nothing, nothing important.
177
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:55,342
BEN (VOICEOVER): Clearly,
we'd have to wait
178
00:07:55,442 --> 00:07:56,577
until everyone was gone.
179
00:07:56,677 --> 00:07:57,878
We didn't want to
corrupt the innocent.
180
00:07:57,978 --> 00:07:59,446
Did you get our sex tape?
181
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:00,480
Mm-mm.
182
00:08:00,581 --> 00:08:02,315
You could have just
asked him for it.
183
00:08:02,415 --> 00:08:04,051
What if he'd already seen it?
184
00:08:04,151 --> 00:08:05,318
Then he'd know why I was asking.
185
00:08:05,418 --> 00:08:07,187
And then he'd arch
one eyebrow, and I
186
00:08:07,287 --> 00:08:09,957
would know that he'd know,
and he would know that I knew.
187
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,324
And then I'd have to
go upstairs and take
188
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:12,392
a bath with the toaster.
189
00:08:15,095 --> 00:08:15,896
Don't worry.
190
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:17,731
I will find it.
191
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:19,466
Just wait until they leave.
192
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:24,337
OK.
193
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:27,575
Let's do this.
194
00:08:27,675 --> 00:08:29,476
[upbeat music]
195
00:08:32,946 --> 00:08:33,781
Ben!
196
00:08:33,881 --> 00:08:35,983
What?
197
00:08:36,083 --> 00:08:36,917
Oh, right.
198
00:08:42,656 --> 00:08:43,991
Wow.
199
00:08:44,091 --> 00:08:45,025
OK, that's done.
200
00:08:45,125 --> 00:08:46,026
Yeah.
201
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,166
What happened here?
202
00:08:53,266 --> 00:08:54,134
What are you doing home?
203
00:08:54,234 --> 00:08:55,368
Class got canceled.
204
00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:56,904
Kitchen fire.
205
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:58,538
Paper boy off the wagon again?
206
00:08:58,639 --> 00:08:59,673
No, we had to break in.
207
00:08:59,773 --> 00:09:00,574
Yeah.
208
00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:01,474
Yeah.
209
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:03,110
Took the TV, the DVD player.
210
00:09:03,210 --> 00:09:05,145
And Tara's painting, look.
211
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:06,546
Who would want to steal that?
212
00:09:06,647 --> 00:09:08,849
Oh, who knows what goes
on with these druggies.
213
00:09:08,949 --> 00:09:10,283
They took the games, too!
214
00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,852
BEN: Yeah, We're
all suffering, here.
215
00:09:11,952 --> 00:09:13,721
Well, we can't let
them get away with this.
216
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:14,788
You know how it is.
217
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:16,323
By now, the TV's been
broken into parts,
218
00:09:16,423 --> 00:09:18,592
turned into computer
monitors and blenders.
219
00:09:18,692 --> 00:09:20,227
And the portrait
is-- it's probably
220
00:09:20,327 --> 00:09:22,029
halfway to Abu Dhabi by now.
221
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:22,930
Halfway already?
222
00:09:23,030 --> 00:09:23,964
I mean, didn't this just happen?
223
00:09:24,064 --> 00:09:25,465
Yeah, we should
count ourselves lucky
224
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,634
we only have a
few things stolen.
225
00:09:29,603 --> 00:09:31,371
BEN (VOICEOVER):
And then, the plan
226
00:09:31,471 --> 00:09:33,607
began to go horribly wrong.
227
00:09:33,707 --> 00:09:35,575
That's right,
yeah, a break in.
228
00:09:35,676 --> 00:09:37,177
67 Henderson Avenue.
229
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:38,178
Hurry up, it just happened.
230
00:09:42,149 --> 00:09:45,152
The Police are on their way.
231
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:46,319
Good.
232
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:47,187
Well done.
233
00:09:47,287 --> 00:09:50,157
Mm-hmm.
234
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:53,093
[sirens wailing]
235
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:06,473
So you never
wanted us to show up?
236
00:10:06,573 --> 00:10:07,607
Well no, of course not.
237
00:10:07,708 --> 00:10:09,576
That would have meant
filing a false report.
238
00:10:09,677 --> 00:10:12,946
Anathema to a fellow
soldier in justice.
239
00:10:13,046 --> 00:10:14,547
Fellow soldier?
240
00:10:14,648 --> 00:10:16,283
You ever been
tasered, Judge Bellow?
241
00:10:19,052 --> 00:10:22,489
It should have been
so neat, so tidy.
242
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:24,491
But my son got all
bent out of shape
243
00:10:24,591 --> 00:10:26,860
over some stupid video game.
244
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,496
It seems every plan
has its wrinkles.
245
00:10:29,596 --> 00:10:31,031
Did you recover any
of the stolen property?
246
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:32,800
Not yet.
247
00:10:32,900 --> 00:10:34,902
You going to dust for prints?
248
00:10:35,002 --> 00:10:38,371
Hey, do I go down to the mall
and tell you how to loiter?
249
00:10:38,471 --> 00:10:40,107
Is everything all right?
250
00:10:40,207 --> 00:10:41,274
We saw the police car.
251
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,011
Oh, Tara, it's terrible.
252
00:10:46,714 --> 00:10:49,850
Why would somebody
steal my painting?
253
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:52,786
Well, who knows what goes on
with these drug-addled punks.
254
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,823
No, Ben, these
people were pros.
255
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,524
They took all of our
big ticket items.
256
00:10:57,624 --> 00:10:59,559
Clearly they knew
what was valuable.
257
00:10:59,659 --> 00:11:00,761
Sure, yeah.
258
00:11:00,861 --> 00:11:01,929
They had one look
at that, and knew
259
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,096
they could make a mint off it.
260
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:05,432
I mean, your choice of colors.
261
00:11:05,532 --> 00:11:06,734
Your brush strokes.
262
00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,203
You must know that
you have a gift.
263
00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:11,138
You really think so?
264
00:11:11,238 --> 00:11:13,473
Oh, absolutely.
265
00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:14,374
Mm-hmm.
266
00:11:14,474 --> 00:11:15,809
Ben.
267
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,678
Kitchen.
268
00:11:18,779 --> 00:11:19,780
That really hurt.
269
00:11:19,880 --> 00:11:21,414
The idea is to assuage her.
270
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:23,851
Not insult her.
271
00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,518
Keep it together, or
we're going to get caught.
272
00:11:29,422 --> 00:11:31,158
So, do you have a
list of missing items?
273
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,760
Well, the
television, naturally.
274
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,161
And the DVD player.
275
00:11:34,261 --> 00:11:37,765
They also stole a
box of Capitulo cigars.
276
00:11:37,865 --> 00:11:39,166
I think you're
mistaken, there, Judith.
277
00:11:39,266 --> 00:11:40,067
Nope, I checked.
278
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:41,468
Gone, I'm afraid.
279
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:42,469
OFFICER: Was that it?
280
00:11:42,569 --> 00:11:44,237
Well some games
were stolen, too.
281
00:11:44,337 --> 00:11:45,505
There was one
especially important.
282
00:11:45,605 --> 00:11:46,406
Golftastic.
283
00:11:46,506 --> 00:11:47,340
You hate golf.
284
00:11:47,440 --> 00:11:48,508
It's mine.
285
00:11:48,608 --> 00:11:49,709
And I want it back.
286
00:11:49,810 --> 00:11:52,179
I have to work on my backhand.
287
00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:53,380
Backswing.
288
00:11:53,480 --> 00:11:54,347
Yeah.
289
00:11:54,447 --> 00:11:55,682
Wait, the golf game?
290
00:11:55,783 --> 00:11:58,018
No, I think Wendy took that
to her sleepover at Pam's.
291
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,325
So, is that it?
292
00:12:05,425 --> 00:12:06,226
No.
293
00:12:06,326 --> 00:12:07,627
They also stole a viola.
294
00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:08,528
What?
295
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:09,662
Gone, I'm afraid.
296
00:12:09,763 --> 00:12:10,563
Viola.
297
00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:16,336
V-I-O-L-A.
298
00:12:16,436 --> 00:12:17,404
TOM: I think this is the place.
299
00:12:17,504 --> 00:12:20,340
JESSIE: Shh.
300
00:12:20,440 --> 00:12:21,308
Hey guys!
301
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,642
JESSIE: Is that it?
- Look at that.
302
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:23,543
JESSIE: Oh my god.
303
00:12:23,643 --> 00:12:24,444
She's got it.
304
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:25,779
She's got our game.
305
00:12:25,879 --> 00:12:27,747
[rock music]
306
00:12:35,188 --> 00:12:37,557
[screaming]
307
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:38,525
Hello.
308
00:12:38,625 --> 00:12:39,827
Hi.
309
00:12:39,927 --> 00:12:42,930
The best defense against
these thieves is vigilance.
310
00:12:43,030 --> 00:12:43,897
Yes, yes.
311
00:12:43,997 --> 00:12:44,865
I want to be vigilante.
312
00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,666
No, not vigilante.
313
00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:47,567
Vigilance.
314
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:49,102
You say tomato.
315
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:50,904
I say, kill the bastard!
316
00:12:51,004 --> 00:12:51,839
Kill the bastard!
317
00:12:51,939 --> 00:12:54,074
Oh Judith, this
is just horrible.
318
00:12:54,174 --> 00:12:57,044
I am so sorry.
319
00:12:57,144 --> 00:12:59,179
Tara.
320
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:01,048
I am so sorry.
321
00:13:01,148 --> 00:13:03,917
TARA: If there is anything,
anything at all, that I
322
00:13:04,017 --> 00:13:06,653
can do for you, just ask.
323
00:13:06,753 --> 00:13:07,587
JUDITH: Oh, I will.
324
00:13:07,687 --> 00:13:10,991
TARA: OK.
325
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:12,559
It's interesting.
326
00:13:12,659 --> 00:13:14,995
wouldn't you think that, if
thieves were breaking in,
327
00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:17,764
that the glass would
spray inside the house?
328
00:13:17,865 --> 00:13:20,333
Well, you know, the
physics of these things
329
00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:21,701
is difficult to predict, Phil.
330
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:25,272
I mean, you know, the glass
probably vibrates in and out.
331
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,207
And then when it finally
breaks, who knows where it goes,
332
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,341
especially from that height.
Right?
333
00:13:28,441 --> 00:13:31,311
Well, there's another thing.
334
00:13:31,411 --> 00:13:33,713
Wouldn't you think that
thieves would break
335
00:13:33,813 --> 00:13:36,349
the lower window,
instead of the cheaper,
336
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:38,351
easy to replace pane up top?
337
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,653
I don't know what goes on
in the criminal mind, Phil.
338
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:44,124
Aren't you a judge?
339
00:13:44,224 --> 00:13:47,394
BEN (VOICEOVER): The
seams were unraveling.
340
00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,297
I had not factored in my oafish,
but surprisingly tenacious,
341
00:13:50,397 --> 00:13:51,664
neighbor.
342
00:13:51,764 --> 00:13:54,501
I'm just curious, where were
you guys when this happened?
343
00:13:54,601 --> 00:13:56,269
Judith was driving me to work.
344
00:13:56,369 --> 00:13:57,704
The car never
left the driveway.
345
00:13:57,804 --> 00:13:58,705
Sure it did.
346
00:13:58,805 --> 00:14:00,240
You were just too
sedated to notice.
347
00:14:00,340 --> 00:14:01,508
We were only gone minutes.
348
00:14:01,608 --> 00:14:03,476
Five, tops.
349
00:14:03,576 --> 00:14:06,013
So this was a professional
operation, then?
350
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:08,515
It certainly was.
351
00:14:08,615 --> 00:14:10,250
Uh, they must have
been casing the joint,
352
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:11,851
and-- and knew exactly
what they wanted.
353
00:14:11,952 --> 00:14:14,221
And one of those things
was Tara's painting?
354
00:14:14,321 --> 00:14:15,956
I guess so.
355
00:14:16,056 --> 00:14:18,325
And you didn't set the alarm?
356
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,359
We forgot.
357
00:14:19,459 --> 00:14:20,593
Imagine that.
358
00:14:20,693 --> 00:14:22,062
The only time you
forget to set the alarm,
359
00:14:22,162 --> 00:14:23,496
and there's a crack
team of thieves waiting
360
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,132
to pounce the moment you leave.
361
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:27,034
- I know.
- Whoa.
362
00:14:27,134 --> 00:14:28,368
Huh.
363
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,403
I know.
364
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:31,304
I am in the way.
365
00:14:31,404 --> 00:14:32,205
I'll just go.
366
00:14:32,305 --> 00:14:33,206
That's right.
367
00:14:36,343 --> 00:14:37,144
He knows.
368
00:14:37,244 --> 00:14:38,946
I know.
369
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,414
I found the Golftastic
disk under the couch,
370
00:14:41,514 --> 00:14:42,682
so I put it where it belonged.
371
00:14:42,782 --> 00:14:44,551
Last time I do
anything nice for you.
372
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:45,852
And the first time.
373
00:14:45,953 --> 00:14:48,121
What'd you do with the disk
that was inside the case?
374
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,957
What's on the thing, anyways?
375
00:14:50,057 --> 00:14:52,592
Bootleg Petunia Pig cartoons.
376
00:14:52,692 --> 00:14:54,827
You're sick.
377
00:14:54,928 --> 00:14:56,329
Bootlegs are against the law.
378
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,931
The disk, Wendy.
379
00:14:58,031 --> 00:14:59,566
I put it in one
of mom's lame DVDs.
380
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:00,667
Which one?
381
00:15:00,767 --> 00:15:03,703
- "On Golden Pond."
- OK.
382
00:15:03,803 --> 00:15:05,138
That's good.
383
00:15:05,238 --> 00:15:06,039
Where is it?
384
00:15:06,139 --> 00:15:08,441
I sold it to
the serial killer.
385
00:15:08,541 --> 00:15:10,377
[ominous music]
386
00:15:12,412 --> 00:15:13,246
I'm not going to get it.
387
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,748
Well I'm not going to get it.
388
00:15:19,319 --> 00:15:22,189
[screaming]
389
00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:23,490
Why would you do that?
390
00:15:23,590 --> 00:15:25,725
He's not actually
a serial killer.
391
00:15:25,825 --> 00:15:26,893
He's a professional clown.
392
00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,762
That's even worse.
393
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:34,401
I can't believe you guys
are old enough to vote.
394
00:15:34,501 --> 00:15:36,503
Well, there's only
one thing to do.
395
00:15:36,603 --> 00:15:38,638
We're not going to
the serial killer alone.
396
00:15:38,738 --> 00:15:40,040
Oh, you're right.
397
00:15:40,140 --> 00:15:41,108
We need backup.
398
00:15:41,208 --> 00:15:42,442
THE REFUGEE: Neighborhood
watch members
399
00:15:42,542 --> 00:15:45,112
may not possess weapons, or
engage in racial profiling.
400
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,485
[rock music]
401
00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,098
This is the perfect space.
402
00:16:05,198 --> 00:16:06,099
I like to think so.
403
00:16:06,199 --> 00:16:07,200
Yeah.
404
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,170
I can put the paint cans
over here, and stack
405
00:16:10,270 --> 00:16:12,539
the canvases over there.
406
00:16:12,639 --> 00:16:13,906
Why would you do that?
407
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,842
Well, since I'll
be painting again,
408
00:16:15,942 --> 00:16:17,810
I'm going to need
a proper workspace.
409
00:16:17,910 --> 00:16:19,612
And if the fumes get
too much, I can just
410
00:16:19,712 --> 00:16:21,481
swing open the garage door.
411
00:16:21,581 --> 00:16:24,284
And it's already got a
built in alarm system.
412
00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,653
I mean, it's made for me.
413
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:30,390
Oh Phil, I am so excited.
414
00:16:30,490 --> 00:16:32,159
I'm going to be painting again.
415
00:16:32,259 --> 00:16:33,093
I'm so happy.
416
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,266
Ugh.
417
00:16:39,366 --> 00:16:40,867
What do you want, Phil?
418
00:16:40,967 --> 00:16:43,736
I know this robbery was a
ruse so you could rid yourselves
419
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,004
of my wife's painting.
420
00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:46,173
What?
421
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:47,707
Don't be ridiculous.
422
00:16:47,807 --> 00:16:48,875
We loved that painting.
423
00:16:48,975 --> 00:16:49,776
It was one of the--
424
00:16:49,876 --> 00:16:50,810
An abomination.
425
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:51,711
Admit it.
426
00:16:51,811 --> 00:16:54,247
Hell, I'll admit it.
427
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:56,749
I don't think we have
anything to discuss here, Phil.
428
00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,884
It's in the
basement, isn't it?
429
00:16:57,984 --> 00:16:58,918
What?
430
00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:00,620
That's where you
keep all the stolen
431
00:17:00,720 --> 00:17:04,757
items, because you wouldn't
take them out during the day.
432
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,526
I think you've been
of the sun too long.
433
00:17:06,626 --> 00:17:07,560
Have I?
434
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,896
Stop!
435
00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:12,765
God!
436
00:17:12,865 --> 00:17:14,434
What you want, Phil?
437
00:17:14,534 --> 00:17:16,569
Because of you and
your asinine scheme,
438
00:17:16,669 --> 00:17:18,971
Tara thinks thieves fell
in love with her painting.
439
00:17:21,941 --> 00:17:23,743
Magnifico!
440
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:25,078
She thinks the
thieves were Italian?
441
00:17:25,178 --> 00:17:27,614
The point is,
she thinks somebody
442
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,149
actually wanted that painting.
443
00:17:29,249 --> 00:17:30,783
Which only fueled the fire.
444
00:17:30,883 --> 00:17:33,920
Now she's taken over my
garage, my sanctuary.
445
00:17:34,020 --> 00:17:34,921
So, what you want from me?
446
00:17:35,021 --> 00:17:36,623
I want you to break
into our garage,
447
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:38,591
and steal all her
painting supplies.
448
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:39,826
Are you out of your mind?
449
00:17:39,926 --> 00:17:41,027
I'm a judge!
450
00:17:41,128 --> 00:17:43,163
Do you know what her next
project is going to be?
451
00:17:43,263 --> 00:17:44,397
Another portrait for you.
452
00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,366
Only this one is going
to make the last one
453
00:17:46,466 --> 00:17:47,600
look like a postage stamp.
454
00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:57,177
He doesn't really act
like a serial killer.
455
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:58,311
No.
456
00:17:58,411 --> 00:18:00,079
Professional clowns are
trained in deception.
457
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:04,651
You got it!
458
00:18:04,751 --> 00:18:05,818
Thank you.
459
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,155
Please tell me both
disks are inside the case.
460
00:18:08,255 --> 00:18:09,289
"Oh Golden Pond,"
and our film.
461
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:10,390
Yes!
462
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:12,859
He said, second disk
is especially good.
463
00:18:12,959 --> 00:18:13,893
He loves the Lips.
464
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:14,794
What?
465
00:18:14,894 --> 00:18:17,864
The Flaming Lips.
466
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,000
I burnt a Flaming Lips concert
the same day I burnt our movie.
467
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,702
Oh.
468
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:24,103
It was for your dad.
469
00:18:24,204 --> 00:18:25,872
My dad has our movie?
470
00:18:25,972 --> 00:18:26,773
What movie?
471
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:28,508
BOTH: Petunia Pig!
472
00:18:28,608 --> 00:18:29,942
Oh, I don't know, Phil.
473
00:18:30,042 --> 00:18:30,877
I mean, come on.
474
00:18:30,977 --> 00:18:32,612
Even if we steal
her supplies, she
475
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:33,746
is just going to buy new ones.
476
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:34,714
Maybe.
477
00:18:34,814 --> 00:18:36,082
But it'll set her back.
478
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,451
And by then, I'll be able to
steer her into something else.
479
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,619
Maybe oncoming traffic.
480
00:18:42,455 --> 00:18:43,423
Fine.
481
00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:47,894
BEN (VOICEOVER): And
so, a pact was made.
482
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:51,164
Unlike the man himself, Phil's
plan was surprisingly elegant.
483
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:58,738
While Phil created
an alibi for himself,
484
00:18:58,838 --> 00:19:02,342
I entered the garage and removed
Tara's paints and brushes.
485
00:19:05,378 --> 00:19:07,514
We also took the opportunity
to remove the stolen
486
00:19:07,614 --> 00:19:10,250
items from the basement.
487
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:12,185
It was the perfect plan.
488
00:19:12,285 --> 00:19:14,053
But I made one mistake.
489
00:19:14,153 --> 00:19:17,224
I forgot to turn
the alarm back on.
490
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:20,427
JESSIE: My dad keeps
everything in here.
491
00:19:20,527 --> 00:19:21,961
Do you know the code?
492
00:19:22,061 --> 00:19:23,730
Mom always uses the
Mayan creation date.
493
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:25,232
It's so obvious.
494
00:19:30,803 --> 00:19:33,206
[alarm blaring]
495
00:19:37,277 --> 00:19:40,680
My paintings!
496
00:19:40,780 --> 00:19:42,649
Phil!
497
00:19:42,749 --> 00:19:45,885
OFFICER: Car 941, all
clear, no need for backup.
498
00:19:45,985 --> 00:19:48,455
It's a domestic,
it's under control.
499
00:19:48,555 --> 00:19:49,422
Oh boy.
500
00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:51,391
[radio chatter]
501
00:19:58,431 --> 00:20:03,169
I take it that was the
painting in question?
502
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,203
That would be it.
503
00:20:04,304 --> 00:20:06,005
Yes.
504
00:20:06,105 --> 00:20:07,874
Huh.
505
00:20:07,974 --> 00:20:09,976
Well, you leave me no choice.
506
00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:18,217
I'm at a crossroads
here, people.
507
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:21,521
This little fracas of
yours has got the potential
508
00:20:21,621 --> 00:20:25,725
of creating more paperwork than
an actual murder investigation.
509
00:20:25,825 --> 00:20:29,529
And all because you couldn't
be honest with each other.
510
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,501
This is the part where
people recognize the error
511
00:20:34,601 --> 00:20:36,303
of their ways, and apologize.
512
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:41,808
Oh, for crying-- everyone,
turn to the person
513
00:20:41,908 --> 00:20:43,410
to his or her right,
and say they're sorry.
514
00:20:43,510 --> 00:20:44,544
I'm sorry.
515
00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,713
For what it's worth,
I actually am sorry.
516
00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,080
I'm sorry, too.
517
00:20:48,180 --> 00:20:49,382
Let's never do that again.
518
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:52,151
I'm just glad we found
the disk before your dad it.
519
00:20:52,251 --> 00:20:53,820
And it's in your capable hands.
520
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,187
I thought you took it!
521
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:57,089
You're kidding, right?
522
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:59,592
I-- I'm sorry, too.
523
00:20:59,692 --> 00:21:02,795
I sent your disk to my village.
524
00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,598
They love Petunia Pig.
525
00:21:05,698 --> 00:21:08,034
What are you all waiting for?
526
00:21:08,134 --> 00:21:08,935
Go home!
527
00:21:09,035 --> 00:21:11,571
Thank you, good night.
528
00:21:11,671 --> 00:21:13,773
Excuse me, where
is the washroom?
529
00:21:13,873 --> 00:21:15,007
Where is your passport?
530
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,008
I go this way.
531
00:21:20,079 --> 00:21:24,551
TARA: So It's even better
than the first one.
532
00:21:24,651 --> 00:21:27,820
And of course,
much, much, bigger.
533
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:28,988
Hope you like it, Ben.
534
00:21:33,593 --> 00:21:35,294
[rock music]
535
00:21:49,175 --> 00:21:51,177
THEME MUSIC: You don't
like the noise I'm making.
536
00:21:53,980 --> 00:21:58,385
Say I don't care, but I do.
537
00:21:58,485 --> 00:22:00,186
I'm not afraid by it.
538
00:22:00,286 --> 00:22:02,889
I won't be shamed by it.
539
00:22:02,989 --> 00:22:06,826
I see it all better than you.
540
00:22:06,876 --> 00:22:11,426
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36312
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof