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1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:08,433
You know,
something really stinks in here.
2
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:11,515
We are watching Fox.
3
00:00:12,840 --> 00:00:14,751
Al, did you take out the trash?
4
00:00:14,960 --> 00:00:18,111
I'll take it out
when there's enough for a whole load.
5
00:00:23,080 --> 00:00:24,229
Okay.
6
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,557
I know you people are used to living
in a cesspool.
7
00:00:27,760 --> 00:00:30,957
So you're probably not even bothered
by this garbage strike.
8
00:00:31,200 --> 00:00:35,034
Wait a minute.
How can trash go on strike?
9
00:00:37,040 --> 00:00:39,793
Hang up your fishnets
and stay in all night.
10
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,913
But on behalf
of the entire neighborhood...
11
00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:46,792
...I demand that you do something...
12
00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:49,673
...to improve the look of things
around here.
13
00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,351
Now, I've done my part.
14
00:01:06,360 --> 00:01:07,679
Marcie is absolutely right.
15
00:01:07,880 --> 00:01:10,189
We have to get together
to get rid of this garbage.
16
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,958
Now, I'll hand you the bags.
17
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:13,957
You throw them over
in the D'Arcys' yard.
18
00:01:54,040 --> 00:01:56,679
Go, go, go.
19
00:01:56,880 --> 00:02:00,316
Oh, man, these guys don't hustle.
20
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,829
Lazy bums.
21
00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,430
Bums is right.
22
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:13,395
Al, can you hand me that beer?
23
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:19,991
Can't reach.
24
00:02:22,040 --> 00:02:24,031
Atten-hut!
25
00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:29,759
As you were.
26
00:02:29,960 --> 00:02:33,350
You are looking at 2nd Lieutenant
D'Arcy, National Guard Reserves.
27
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,154
More like GI-joke.
28
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,549
Hey, this action figure
is anatomically correct.
29
00:02:42,400 --> 00:02:46,473
After living with Marcie all these years,
I doubt it.
30
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,475
What's the scam?
31
00:02:49,720 --> 00:02:51,756
No scam.
I'll just say goodbye to Marcie.
32
00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,389
- There's the scam.
- There's the scam.
33
00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:55,755
Hey, it's a great deal.
34
00:02:55,960 --> 00:02:58,633
One weekend out of every month,
you get three hots in a cot.
35
00:02:58,840 --> 00:03:01,638
You get to party with a bunch of guys
and you get paid.
36
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:04,075
Sounds like my ex-wife's job.
37
00:03:04,280 --> 00:03:07,829
Uncle Sam will pay me to leave Peg
and the kids for the weekend?
38
00:03:08,080 --> 00:03:10,196
You have to go through
basic training first.
39
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,470
But you don't have to go
to your regular job...
40
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,477
...and your boss still has to pay you.
41
00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:18,269
I am suddenly feeling the need
to serve my country.
42
00:03:19,120 --> 00:03:22,192
Oh, wait a minute.
Aren't we too old to join the reserve?
43
00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:25,113
Well, you're pretty much too old
for everything.
44
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,956
But with my connections,
I can get you in.
45
00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:33,596
That's the fighting spirit
we're looking for.
46
00:03:33,840 --> 00:03:35,193
We'll be the few, the proud--
47
00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,153
We'll be the best that we can be.
48
00:03:39,520 --> 00:03:42,478
No, guys,
the National Guard's motto is:
49
00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:45,035
"If it happens on a weekend...
50
00:03:45,920 --> 00:03:47,638
...we'll be there."
51
00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:54,354
I'm open. I'm open.
52
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:58,115
Eight touchdowns.
53
00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:04,951
Hey, hey, let's do top bunks
versus bottom bunks now.
54
00:04:05,200 --> 00:04:07,111
Al, I think it may be time
to hit the hay.
55
00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:08,679
What? Are you old?
56
00:04:08,880 --> 00:04:10,632
Yeah.
57
00:04:11,200 --> 00:04:12,918
Me too.
58
00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:16,757
Oh, man, this pillow is lumpy.
59
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:20,197
At least it doesn't have red hair
and begs for sex.
60
00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:25,754
Man, this is the life.
61
00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:33,588
Rise and shine, ladies.
62
00:04:33,800 --> 00:04:36,109
Hope you had a good night sleep...
63
00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:39,790
...because your nightmare
begins now.
64
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,834
- Do you hear me?
- Sir, yes, sir.
65
00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,076
Am I disturbing you, private?
66
00:04:48,280 --> 00:04:49,633
Al Bundy.
67
00:04:49,840 --> 00:04:51,353
Al Bundy, sir.
68
00:04:51,840 --> 00:04:54,479
Well, no one's called me sir
in a long, long time.
69
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,912
How about moron?
They've called you that, haven't they?
70
00:04:58,160 --> 00:05:00,594
Sir, yes, sir.
71
00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:02,555
Ladies' shoe salesman.
72
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,830
Well, you're in the reserve now.
73
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:08,635
- You're not in some candy-ass mall.
- You haven't seen my customers.
74
00:05:08,840 --> 00:05:11,195
Every day it's the battle of the bulge,
right, Griff?
75
00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:13,510
Who's Griff?
Somebody here called Griff?
76
00:05:14,360 --> 00:05:17,955
Drop and give me 50, mall scum.
77
00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,998
All I got here is this five.
78
00:05:21,480 --> 00:05:23,072
Pushups, you idiot.
79
00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:27,636
And your little buddies here too.
80
00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:36,474
Okay. Top 10 reasons we're glad
your father has gone to boot camp.
81
00:05:36,720 --> 00:05:39,837
Number 10, your father is gone.
82
00:05:42,360 --> 00:05:45,272
Number nine,
he took his socks with him.
83
00:05:46,760 --> 00:05:50,355
Number eight,
we don't have to hide the food.
84
00:05:50,560 --> 00:05:51,549
Good.
85
00:05:51,760 --> 00:05:56,550
Number seven, the drains flow free.
86
00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:03,196
I think you know why I'm here.
87
00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:07,397
All the flies in the neighborhood
have named you queen?
88
00:06:10,040 --> 00:06:12,838
Peggy,
this is just some of the garbage...
89
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,759
...your obnoxious children
have dumped in my yard.
90
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,515
How dare you accuse
my obnoxious children?
91
00:06:19,720 --> 00:06:22,598
There's no way that you can prove
that that's our garbage.
92
00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,633
Color Me Cheetahs by Clairol.
93
00:06:30,520 --> 00:06:32,317
Go, Dog, Go!
94
00:06:33,800 --> 00:06:37,759
I can't believe you threw this out.
I haven't even finished it yet, Bud.
95
00:06:39,680 --> 00:06:43,559
Bunch of dogs, big party,
nothing happens, the end.
96
00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:45,991
Sounds like one of your dates.
97
00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:49,919
Okay. You have two choices.
98
00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:53,192
I can either bury you headfirst
in my compost heap...
99
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:56,073
...or you come with me
and pick up every piece of garbage...
100
00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:57,872
...that you have dumped in my yard.
101
00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:01,157
You mean since the garbage strike,
or since you've moved in?
102
00:07:03,640 --> 00:07:06,200
You're not worthy of the Guard.
103
00:07:06,400 --> 00:07:08,550
We're not worthy of the Guard.
104
00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,360
You're out of shapewith butts of lard.
105
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,875
We're out of shapewith butts of lard.
106
00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:16,389
Oink off, three, four.
107
00:07:16,640 --> 00:07:20,076
- Oink off.
- We're sore.
108
00:07:22,840 --> 00:07:25,434
I swear, you two are slower than snails
in molasses.
109
00:07:25,680 --> 00:07:29,593
That's a good one. Coming from a guy
whose girlfriend starred in Babe.
110
00:07:32,280 --> 00:07:34,191
I wish.
111
00:07:38,200 --> 00:07:39,189
Oh, Griff.
112
00:07:40,440 --> 00:07:42,158
I can't take it anymore.
113
00:07:42,360 --> 00:07:43,349
I quit.
114
00:07:43,560 --> 00:07:47,109
Al, you can't quit.
If you quit, you've got to go home.
115
00:07:52,640 --> 00:07:55,074
Hey, wait a minute.
116
00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,668
I can't climb this wall.
117
00:08:11,880 --> 00:08:15,998
Sure you can, buddy. Don't quit.
Let me show you how it's done.
118
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,908
I can't.
119
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,353
It can't be done.
120
00:08:30,880 --> 00:08:32,757
Nobody can possibly use skills
like that--
121
00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,349
Running through tires,
waving your arms up in the air?
122
00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:37,516
It's like screaming,
"Shoot me. Shoot me."
123
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:39,990
Don't tempt me, shoe boy.
124
00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:42,111
Sir, good afternoon, sir.
125
00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,993
And may I add your medals
are particularly shiny today, sir.
126
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:47,509
Why are you sucking up to this guy?
127
00:08:50,800 --> 00:08:53,109
Oh, I get it.
128
00:08:53,800 --> 00:08:55,153
So, high heel...
129
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,954
...are you going to finish this course
or not?
130
00:08:58,200 --> 00:09:00,316
Can't, sir. Tired, sir.
131
00:09:00,560 --> 00:09:02,949
Then let me help you rest.
132
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,794
Well, good news, ladies.
133
00:09:10,040 --> 00:09:12,838
You're getting that well-deserved
psychiatric leave, sir?
134
00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:15,310
No, I've used them all up.
135
00:09:15,640 --> 00:09:19,997
The news is basic training
is cut short.
136
00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:22,356
Thank God. I'll pack.
137
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:23,669
I'll warm up the car.
138
00:09:23,920 --> 00:09:26,036
Not so fast, maggots.
139
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,310
This unit's been activated.
140
00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:30,511
We're going on a mission.
141
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,439
Permission to know where, sir.
142
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:34,910
Denied. Now go home...
143
00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:36,758
...make love to your widows...
144
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:41,556
...and report back here
at 1600 hours.
145
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:44,914
Al, I'm scared.
146
00:09:45,120 --> 00:09:46,235
You're scared?
147
00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:48,749
I gotta go home
and make love to Peg.
148
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,395
We're in business, Kel.
149
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:57,478
I got the fan belt off
of Mrs. D'Arcy's Mercedes.
150
00:09:57,680 --> 00:10:00,592
It serves her right for making us
take our garbage back.
151
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:03,189
Okay.
I left the D'Arcys' attic window open.
152
00:10:03,400 --> 00:10:05,595
- Are you sure this thing is aimed right?
- Yeah.
153
00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:07,916
Now, I've calculated the exact
trajectory...
154
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:11,476
...taking into account mass, angle,
velocity and wind speed.
155
00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,792
And, of course,
your complete lack of sex appeal.
156
00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,349
- What does that have to do to with it?
- Well, I had so many variables.
157
00:10:19,560 --> 00:10:21,835
I needed one constant.
158
00:10:23,640 --> 00:10:27,155
It's amazing how you can figure out
a difficult mathematical equation...
159
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:30,397
...but yet you can't find your way out
of a frat house.
160
00:10:31,640 --> 00:10:33,596
I can too.
161
00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,074
I just yell, "I'm pregnant."
162
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,874
And the next thing you know,
I'm out in the alley.
163
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,399
Okay. Let's let her rip.
164
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:41,953
Okay.
165
00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,036
And here we go.
166
00:10:45,280 --> 00:10:47,191
Pull.
167
00:10:47,600 --> 00:10:49,272
Yeah.
168
00:10:51,600 --> 00:10:53,397
What are you kids up to?
169
00:10:53,600 --> 00:10:55,397
Recycling.
170
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:59,118
Well, family,
I'm off to fight the forces of evil.
171
00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:00,833
That's nice, dear.
172
00:11:01,040 --> 00:11:02,473
Will someone pay attention here?
173
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:06,753
They're having me go out to fight
horrible people, probably the French.
174
00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,509
You may never see me again.
175
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:11,870
Dad, maybe I should join the Army.
176
00:11:12,080 --> 00:11:14,071
I hear women
are attracted to men in uniform.
177
00:11:14,320 --> 00:11:15,469
It's not the uniform, son.
178
00:11:15,680 --> 00:11:19,389
It's knowing that he's been trained
to obey orders and eat crap.
179
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,239
Oh, no, Daddy is going away again?
180
00:11:23,480 --> 00:11:26,677
Now,
this time he's joined the Post Office.
181
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:29,069
Don't worry, pumpkin...
182
00:11:29,280 --> 00:11:32,875
...Daddy is not going to any place
as dangerous as that.
183
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:36,874
Kel, I thought you of all people would
recognize a man in a military uniform.
184
00:11:37,360 --> 00:11:41,148
This is what they look like on?
Oh, my God. They're so cute.
185
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:43,834
Honey, you shouldn't say things
like that to Daddy...
186
00:11:44,040 --> 00:11:46,759
...after he's just been trained
to use a gun.
187
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,913
Peg.
188
00:11:49,240 --> 00:11:51,117
Don't you want to kiss me goodbye?
189
00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,153
Tonight,
I may be standing in harm's way.
190
00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:59,110
Al, I don't care where you're standing
as long as it isn't in front of Ricki Lake.
191
00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:01,549
Bud...
192
00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:04,877
...until I come back, you're going to be
the man of the family.
193
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,308
Make me proud, son.
194
00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,835
I will, Dad, and don't worry.
195
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,873
I'll keep all your Big 'Uns safe
and sound until you get back.
196
00:12:12,120 --> 00:12:13,269
That's not necessary, son.
197
00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:16,552
What the hell do you think
I got in this bag?
198
00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:20,030
Daddy, be very careful.
199
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,918
Oh, Kel, what are you worried about?
200
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:25,829
The National Guard is nothing but a
bunch of Boy Scouts with beer bellies.
201
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,709
You take it all for granted, don't you,
you little pinkos?
202
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,513
Well, keep this in mind.
203
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:33,756
The National Guard
is the thin green line...
204
00:12:33,960 --> 00:12:36,269
...that separates you
from total anarchy.
205
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:40,029
And I'm damn proud to do anything
my country asks of me.
206
00:12:40,760 --> 00:12:44,992
I'm not doing it.
You can't make me pick up garbage.
207
00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:49,559
You do what I tell you to do
and any more lip out of you and I'll--
208
00:12:50,440 --> 00:12:51,919
Tell.
209
00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:55,794
I wouldn't have done this
if it wasn't for you guys.
210
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:58,958
"Join the Reserve. See the state."
211
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,155
Excuse me.
212
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:02,396
Is this mission interfering
with your whining?
213
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:06,277
Now, these strikers are angry.
Watch your backs.
214
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:08,710
Oh, like I'm afraid of them
garbage men.
215
00:13:08,920 --> 00:13:11,559
What are they gonna do?
Make noise early in the morning?
216
00:13:18,680 --> 00:13:21,319
Run away. Run away.
217
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:26,636
Told you so.
218
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:30,468
And hit.
219
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,078
That was a good one, Kel.
220
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:35,953
You know, I kind of wish
Daddy was here to enjoy this.
221
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,474
Oh, I know.
222
00:13:37,680 --> 00:13:40,877
I can't believe
he hasn't even written since he left.
223
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,193
Mom, he's only been gone
for four hours.
224
00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:49,559
Well, in that case,
I guess I better get on with my life.
225
00:13:49,880 --> 00:13:52,110
Maybe you should
throw over your father's clothes.
226
00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:55,118
I could really use the closet space.
227
00:13:56,040 --> 00:13:58,508
Look. I'm gonna have to adjust
this tension. Okay?
228
00:13:58,720 --> 00:13:59,994
- Okay.
- Now--
229
00:14:00,200 --> 00:14:02,555
Whatever you do,
don't touch that lever.
230
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:03,835
What, this one?
231
00:14:12,520 --> 00:14:14,033
Cool.
232
00:14:17,080 --> 00:14:19,640
Way to navigate, Jefferson.
233
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:24,153
I am your commanding officer.
I should be addressed as sir.
234
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,029
But if I called you sir,
what would I call your wife?
235
00:14:30,120 --> 00:14:32,873
And for your information,
we're not lost.
236
00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:36,868
Now, according to this map, we can't
be more than a finger away from base.
237
00:14:37,080 --> 00:14:39,469
Which finger? This one?
238
00:14:39,760 --> 00:14:41,955
Oh, very nice.
239
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:47,149
You owe the good people of Waukegan
an apology for that little gesture.
240
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,598
Lieutenant D'Arcy, I want to say this
in the most respectful way possible.
241
00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,712
Get us home
or we're gonna frag your ass.
242
00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:58,639
Come in, Ziploc team.
243
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:01,479
Are you out there? Over.
244
00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:03,475
We read you, over.
245
00:15:03,680 --> 00:15:06,672
Listen up, men. The Hefty teamis taking a big dumpster.
246
00:15:06,880 --> 00:15:11,032
We need backup at 23rd and Addison.Copy?
247
00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:13,794
Roger. On our way. Over. Okay.
248
00:15:14,640 --> 00:15:17,234
Okay.
We have to go through the auto yard.
249
00:15:17,440 --> 00:15:19,237
- Griff, you should go first.
- Good idea.
250
00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:21,590
I don't think so.
251
00:15:21,840 --> 00:15:23,319
Let me rephrase.
252
00:15:23,520 --> 00:15:25,431
I'm ordering you to go first.
253
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:28,877
Then let me rephrase. Bite me.
254
00:15:30,440 --> 00:15:31,998
Haven't you ever seen a war movie?
255
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:35,397
The black man always gets it first.
256
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:38,589
What do you mean?
257
00:15:38,800 --> 00:15:40,552
Jim Brown in The Dirty Dozen.
258
00:15:40,760 --> 00:15:42,751
Laurence Fishburne
in Apocalypse Now.
259
00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:45,474
Bubba in Forrest Gump.
260
00:15:46,480 --> 00:15:49,199
Any black man in Star Trek.
261
00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,595
We go in, test the waters,
get killed...
262
00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,598
...and you white guys
go home to your families.
263
00:15:55,640 --> 00:15:57,631
See, we both lose.
264
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:04,669
Will you two pipe down.
The strikers will hear us.
265
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,313
Now, come on. Let's move out.
266
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,117
Come on, Griff.
267
00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:17,117
Look out.
268
00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,518
- Man down.
- Cover us. Cover us.
269
00:16:21,720 --> 00:16:23,312
Gotcha.
270
00:16:26,480 --> 00:16:27,595
Oh, Griff.
271
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:31,588
Griff, why? Oh, why? Oh, why?
272
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:35,233
That shell was meant for me.
273
00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:36,668
Oh, listen, Al.
274
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:39,519
- Would you do something for me?
- Anything, buddy.
275
00:16:39,760 --> 00:16:43,275
If I don't make it, would you look up
my ex-wife and--
276
00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:44,993
And tell her that you love her?
277
00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:48,749
No, tell her that she's a bitch.
278
00:16:51,800 --> 00:16:54,360
You'll be able to tell her that in person,
buddy.
279
00:16:55,920 --> 00:17:00,232
Oh, my God, a grenade. Take cover.
280
00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:03,597
It's an avocado, Jefferson.
281
00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:08,755
Why don't you throw yourself on it
and we'll have guacamole.
282
00:17:09,720 --> 00:17:13,713
I can't take the pressure.
I want my Marcie.
283
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:18,508
Come in. Anyone.
284
00:17:18,720 --> 00:17:19,675
Help.
285
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:22,917
I can't help you, Ziploc. I'm alone.
286
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:26,112
I'm pinned under a dumpsteron the other side of the wall.
287
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:27,514
What should we do?
288
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,951
Pull out. Save your candy-asses.
289
00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,394
You heard him. Let's go home.
290
00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:37,753
I got some yolk in my ear,
but I think I can drive.
291
00:17:41,640 --> 00:17:43,153
I'm going in after them.
292
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,515
Are you crazy?
293
00:17:44,760 --> 00:17:45,875
Maybe so.
294
00:17:46,080 --> 00:17:50,551
But I'm going to show that sergeant
that High Heel Bundy is no candy-ass.
295
00:18:10,680 --> 00:18:12,113
I'm coming, sarge.
296
00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,515
Forget it, High Heel,
you'll never make it.
297
00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,392
The hell I won't.
298
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:27,031
- Sorry, sarge.
- You're a fool.
299
00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,117
You'll never move this dumpster.
300
00:18:29,320 --> 00:18:30,389
Oh, yeah?
301
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,353
You're looking at a man
who pried a 500-pound woman...
302
00:18:33,560 --> 00:18:35,039
...from a size six pump.
303
00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,316
Well, Private Bundy...
304
00:19:00,520 --> 00:19:02,590
...you followed my orders
and saved the sarge.
305
00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:05,394
Nice try, Panty Waist.
306
00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:10,116
If anyone's a hero around here,
it's Bundy.
307
00:19:10,480 --> 00:19:12,596
Gee, thanks, sarge.
308
00:19:13,640 --> 00:19:16,393
I don't know but I've been told.
309
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:20,269
Garbage stinks when it gets old.
310
00:19:20,480 --> 00:19:23,552
Let's go have a beer that's cold.
311
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,872
And leave the GuardBecause we're too old.
312
00:19:27,120 --> 00:19:29,236
- Sound off.
- One, two.
313
00:19:29,440 --> 00:19:32,432
- Sound off.
- Three, four.
314
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,514
Bud, it's a good thing that you landed
on Mrs. D'Arcy...
315
00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,109
...or you could have really
gotten hurt.
316
00:19:42,160 --> 00:19:44,469
I am hurt, Kelly.
317
00:19:45,120 --> 00:19:46,155
Stop whining.
318
00:19:46,360 --> 00:19:48,954
The first time in months
you've been on top of a woman...
319
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:51,116
...and she even screamed.
320
00:19:54,720 --> 00:19:56,711
Damn, I'm good.
321
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,873
You know, Bud,
according to this insurance policy...
322
00:20:00,080 --> 00:20:02,878
...if your father comes home
looking half as bad as you...
323
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:04,513
...we'll make a fortune.
324
00:20:12,720 --> 00:20:17,714
The garbage strike is over
because Corporal Bundy struck back.
325
00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:21,111
- Oh, Daddy.
- Oh, Al, you're home...
326
00:20:21,320 --> 00:20:23,515
...and all in one piece.
327
00:20:23,720 --> 00:20:25,153
How are my girls?
328
00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:28,915
Bud, you bulked up
since I've been gone.
329
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,719
I'm in a body cast, Dad.
330
00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:35,791
Well, it looks good on you.
331
00:20:36,440 --> 00:20:39,079
Come on, Bud, I think Mom and Dad
would like to be alone.
332
00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:41,032
Okay. Okay.
But just don't touch my--!
333
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,515
Don't touch my hand!
334
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:48,673
Oh, Al, I'm so proud of you.
335
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,713
You ended the garbage strike.
And you got a promotion.
336
00:20:51,920 --> 00:20:55,276
Yeah, Peg,
I was awarded the Bronze Dumpster.
337
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:59,879
You know, Al, all wars are followed
by a baby boom.
338
00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:01,798
Let's repopulate.
339
00:21:02,040 --> 00:21:03,758
Oh, Peg, I can't.
340
00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:06,394
I was injured in battle.
341
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,915
I'm not the man I was.
342
00:21:10,520 --> 00:21:11,509
Oh, great.
343
00:21:11,720 --> 00:21:14,678
One injury
and it's a pre-existing condition.
344
00:21:34,360 --> 00:21:36,590
Incoming!
26039
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