All language subtitles for Kamikaze Hearts (Bashore_ Juliet 1986)_WEBRip.1080p.x264.AAC_EN

I don’t know, when I first
met her I just thought

she was this woman, this girl,

in this business, who was sleazy,

who needed to make a living,

who was fucking on camera.

You know, I thought she was
just a fucking ’nother

dumb porno slut.

And I was wrong, it didn’t take me long.

I mean, I didn’t fall in love with her

because she was beautiful,
I fell in love with her

because... she had this power.

You’re visiting town, Miss,
or you live here, or what?

- I, uh, don’t live here.
- Oh, yeah.

I live in New York City.

No kidding, what, in Manhattan or what?

- Manhattan.
- Yeah, where?

13th Street between 2nd and 3rd,
Little Puerto Rico.

That’s on the east side kind of.

East side, yeah, you could get... very east.

Yeah, I’ve been there.

I’ve been on 3rd Avenue,
as a matter of fact.

Mm-hm, 3rd Avenue.

Did you ever see The Lost Weekend

- with Ray Milland?
- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, that’s what I feel like right now.

I got another girlfriend named Tigr.

- Oh, yeah?
- She’s, um...

- She’s real sweet.
- Mm-hm.

Matter of fact, one of the reasons why

I keep coming back to San Francisco

to do films is because of Tigr,

’cause I’m kind of in love with her.

- Wow.
- And we kind of both have

a love affair with each other
and drugs and films

and entertainment,

and, uh, Tigr’s someone that I suppose

I’ll pass many years with,

and, uh, grow old together or die with

or something like that, you know.

Sounds like fun.

Growing old and dying with
somebody you like, ya know?

Yeah, that would be rather nice.

Sure.

Thank you!

- Uh-huh.
- What’s your next movie

gonna be?

Um, my next movie is the movie
that I’m filming right now

at this very minute.

Um, it’s called Truth or Fiction,

that’s what I call it,

and it’s a movie about myself,

and my girlfriend who I love very much,

and it’s, uh...

it’s... there’s the microphone,
it’s taking place right now.

Don’t worry, you guys aren’t being filmed.

It’s okay.

It’s sort of a, um...

a surrealistic look, I guess,
at myself and my girlfriend,

and the way we look at
the X-rated film business

and our relationship with each other,

and it’s very nice.

Is it more truth or more fiction?

I don’t know, because I don’t know

whether I’m more truth or more fiction.

We’re not gonna die
after this movie, or what?

Do you think we will?

No, we’re not gonna die.

I hope not.

I don’t know.

Hello, operator.

Uh, get me, um... oh, my God...

391-4761, thank you.

I’ve gotta make sure
everybody’s there on time.

Oh, boy.

Tigr got me into this.

She got me into this fucking movie, Carmen.

I’m not an opera singer, I don’t look like

an opera singer, but I am an actress,

and I’ll try to portray anything.

I love beautiful things,
I love San Francisco,

I love opera, I love beautiful women,

I love sex.

Where else could you find
a combination like that?

This is an opera town.

It’s a sexy town.

I combine all these things
I love in my work.

That’s why I produce films.

There’s no greater thrill
for me than to take

all the things I love and make money at it.

Make money at it, it’s incredible.

Religious groups, they love my work.

I do things for churches, the idolize some

of the images I create.

It’s therapeutic, it helps people out.

People, you know, have better sex lives

because of what I do.

But, like all the jobs,
there’s a lot of stress

connected with it.

Here, that’s why I had to get this phone,

this is a mobile phone.

I have to call in, I don’t have time

to step to a payphone and pop a dime in.

Every time I call the operator,
I don’t get...

Okay, let me fill you in
about the plot a little bit.

I play this opera singer named Carmen

who thinks she’s a great opera singer.

In reality, she isn’t.

She just got thrown out
of New York, so she started

a night club in Cuba,
and these three bitches

come to steal my art, they eventually do,

and I have this little slave named Cupid

who, uh, fucks me in the end of the movie.

Uh... ah, here we are,

home sweet home for the next three days.

Yes, is the talent here?

This is our set.

There’s Tigr.

Oh, thank God there’s Tigr with the bowl.

It’s kind of, uh... this is Cuba.

It’s gonna be Cuba.

Haven’t seen you since...
since Milton’s bathtub.

Little more, a little more commotion,

a little more projection.

Oh, thank you, thank you,
please be merciful!

They wash off.

- Oh, thank you, thank you.
- You started when you were 17?

You can get in a lot of trouble

when you’re 17 years old,
you know that, right?

Well, I always, like, signed a release

saying I was older, and then...

- Um, basically...
- Atmosphere.

It’s an extra part, so you’re, like...

okay, yeah, right, you’re atmosphere

for a sequence that’s gonna be shot

in this other room, and, um, the whole idea

is this Cuban club, ’50s look,

if you have clothes for that,
that’d be nice.

All you really need to do...
you’re... you’re extras,

you’re atmosphere in a dream sequence.

Okay, so there’s no real dialogue.

I just wanna

put you on screen, so I can
show it to the producer,

so he sees.

Look, do I not look in the camera?

- Call me names.
- Well, that’s not gonna be

- too hard to do.
- Okay, Jeffrey.

I mean, really.

- Pardon me.
- I gotta, uh, focus on you.

Put on the old X-ray specs
to get a better view.

Someone... can someone look out the window

and see who that is?

Gloria Swanson, Gloria Swanson
is one of my idols,

um, because she has been from,

uh, fucking non-talkies

to talkies, to musicals,

to stage, to everything,
and she still looked

fucking good when she was
80 years old and she died.

Martha Graham, one of my teachers,

is one of my idols as well.

James Dean I mentioned, of course.

Um, Ronald Reagan is one of my...

it’s gotta be my top fucking idol,

because to fulfill a fantasy

totally of being
President of the United States,

for an actor, it must be a hit.

- Really?
- It must be a hit in the arm.

I’ve done 119 films.

Um, some of them, unfortunately,
are not smut.

Gotta pay taxes on something.

I collect snakes.

I read dictionaries, comic books,

and maps.

When I first met her,

I was about to leave, and I...

I’ve stuck in the business because of her,

’cause she fascinates me.

She’s like a snake, very fascinating,

this woman.

I mean, the first time I saw her, she was...

I’m on this film, I’m hired,

it’s called Sulka’s Wedding,
and I was supposed to do

a sex scene with this woman
I was told about,

and she comes in, leather jacket,

New York, a punk.

I just immediately flashed to,

you know, too cool.

What is a woman like this
doing in a business like this?

I was cast as a little surfer girl,

and she was cast as the hard,
older woman sort of type,

and, which is, you know,
a perfect situation for me.

The set was... it was a movie
with transsexuals,

and we were the only two real women.

I was buying a pair of underwear

in a lingerie shop,
and she was the saleswoman,

and as I was trying them on,
she came in the dressing room,

and, um, seduced me, and we made love,

and then the owner of the shop
came in and, you know,

there was his ugly wife,
who was a production manager.

It was a crazy scene.

Can you imagine, the 35BL,

and the camera crew, and the director?

It was wonderful.

It wasn’t pornography anymore.

Something happened.

I was completely taken.

It was... it still is
the most incredible experience

of my life.

I... I became, uh, different, I changed.

I wanted to be like her.

I wanted to be street wise.

I wanted to know how to use a needle.

I mean, really, goddamn irresponsible,

gorgeous, sleazy porno slut,

and she has it, and I mean,
she’s this woman

from New York City who’s Italian,

and she’s hot,
and she speaks street language,

and she could... no one
could fuck with her, right?

And there was some
sort of power that she had

that a porno person doesn’t have.

She could transform, she could...

she could step out.

She would sometimes become,
like, a deity almost.

Okay, yeah, come on, beat it.

Let’s get this done.

Guess we need it sung in French.

I probably know someone
that can do it in French,

who also probably has a much better voice

than I do that can do it.

Well, but, you know,
the people who watch these films

don’t know French anyway, who cares?

I think it’s fine, sing it in English.

Can we sing it in English?
Just listen to it in English.

- I did listen to it in English.
- You did?

- Yeah.
- I didn’t.

- I didn’t like it.
- You didn’t?

Okay.

I also don’t do well without music.

See if she can go through it one more time.

- Okay.
- In English?

Yeah, do it one more time
in French, really relax.

I can’t do it in French,
I cannot do it in French.

- You just did.
- No, I didn’t.

I did it in English.

I love how she takes the role,

each role you give her,

and I think it’s a wonderful world.

I mean, it’s... it’s free and it’s true,

and that’s the most important thing of it,

that it’s free and it’s true.

It’s a job.

It’s a job.

It’s kind of, uh...

It’s hard times, people need work.

I know how to shoot film, and, uh...

I like to think I can do a job right,

- A two-shot of them.
- So, I’m gonna...

- She’s standing right here.
- Okay.

She’s standing right over here,

and, um,

we’ll hold that, and then we’ll move,

when you shift over
to the right a little bit.

Well, anyway, like I said,

you asked me, what did you...
what was it you ask me?

- I don’t know.
- I said I really do

always use my name,
whether it be Sophia’s chest,

or John Holmes’ weenie,
I think makeup is makeup.

But I really do think
there’s a lot about the business

that people really should know.

What the people go through.

It’s not always having sex with
somebody you’ve never even met,

and sometimes how fun it is,
and sometimes how not.

- Right, Mitch?
- What? I didn’t even hear you.

I said having sex with a perfect stranger,

what’s it really like?

I don’t know, it’s like
covering my pimples on my ass.

Well, I’ve had that a million times.

I know.

It’s just like a cartoon.

- Ow.
- Sorry.

I know.

Oh, I know, I remember,
you were talking about

- that, um...
- That’s right.

Is this right, the zipper in front, right?

- Yeah, zipper in front.
- Oh, boy.

- Boy, you look like my mother.
- You know, really,

when I started,
I really had this impression

that, well, the talent was gonna be

a busload of people from the Tenderloin

with gonorrhea and terminal syphilis,

and they’re not, some of them
are very intelligent.

- I would say some anyway.
- Them, too, lots of people...

That’s right, I know
you’re talking about me

That’s right, no, but I mean,
um, the people in the business

aren’t what people think,
you know what I mean?

- Do you see lines?
- Is that what it is?

- What?
- So, uh, Mitch is kind of

the perfect fantasy, because she really is

the kind of person that you can,
you know, just kind of fuck,

and it’s great,
and you don’t get stuck to her.

You know, you don’t have to
worry about, you know,

the classic, "What happens after

they live happily ever after?"
type thing.

So, uh, you know, she’s
the perfect one-night stand,

and you know, she really is on all the time

and she’s available and accessible,

and you just really don’t find many people

around like that,
I don’t know how she does it.

I don’t know how she survives,
but evidently she does.

Everywhere we went, we documented

what we were doing.

We knew that we wanted to make erotic films

that showed the truth,
and what we wanted to do

was achieve on film what we felt together.

I mean, the things that we did
together were incredible.

We wanted to make a film out of it,

and we had all these ’Roids,
and we’d go places,

and always Mitch would
wanna have pictures taken,

and then actually so...
I mean, I love to do that,

and they became our storyboard
for our little...

our little movie, our little autobiography,

like, that we were doing about ourselves.

We acted out scenarios.

One time, she would be, like,

a drunk Puerto Rican transsexual.

I mean, we’d feel like
we were, like, witches,

or Indians, or something

8,000 years ago.

We went to Sharon Tate’s house
and we acted out the scenario

of murdering each other,
only it was, like...

You know, like, it’s like our little secret

with each other.

She would become some bizarre character.

And I would be a...

I always pretty much played
the straight, you know...

Mitch became magic,

several times,

or something like that.

It’s not an honest thing that
this pornography is showing.

It’s desperate eroticism.

She has the potential to be erotic

beyond what that business
has any concept of.

It’s gone!

Everything!

Every fucking thing is gone!

Wanna listen to some music?

No, I don’t.

Let go of me.

You’re hurting me, let go!

You’re hurting me.

Let go.

- You’re hurting me.
- Good.

- Do you want it?
- No, I don’t want it.

Just like all the rest of the pigs.

I’m not a pig and I don’t
want you to hurt me.

Tough.

Been hurting people all your fucking life.

I don’t hurt anybody.

I make ’em feel good.

I make ’em... I give them what they want.

I don’t hurt them.

You’re getting what you want, aren’t you?

- No.
- Always getting what you want.

Ow!

Yeah, well just take it,
that’s what you want.

Just fucking take it from me.

You dirty fucking man, take it.

You just wanna stick it inside me.

Yeah, well, go ahead.

I fucking dare you to stick it in.

Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,

and welcome to
the Chi-chi-chi-chi-chi Club,

otherwise known as the pre-wrap wrap party.

I thought I’d introduce you to a few

of the more interesting folk

in this industry.

- Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.

What did you feel about
the scene that we did?

What did you think about that?
Do you have anything to say

- about that?
- Well, it just wasn’t...

It... that scene really is not typical

of 99.9 percent
of the men in this business.

As you well know,
and most of the women know,

the men in this business are generally...

- Pussycats.
- Yeah, they’re...

they’re lovable guys,
and they’re not out to...

they’re not women haters,

and they’re not rapists,
and they’re not kinky slobs

- that are out to beat the shit...
- What do you think about

getting paid for using your cock?

If somebody wants to pay me to use my cock,

- that’s... that’s fine.
- Pretty much about what I think

- about my tits and my butt.
- That’s right,

and you’ve got the best tits
and butt in town.

I’ve never seen anything erotic

in all these 10 years and 400 films.

Why isn’t it erotic?

’Cause it isn’t sensuous, it’s, uh...

We have to have the cum shots on the face.

- We have to...
- Are you talking about

the gynecological gazette shots
specifically?

I never knew what a man
looked like like that.

I went home and to my wife
said, "Is that what

I look like from behind?
I look like dog balls."

- Why do they always shoot that?
- Dog balls!

I’ve had guys that I’ve worked with

that it’s like, "Okay, you may be the star,

you’re the woman, you’re getting
paid big bucks, Mitch.

I’m only getting, like, uh,
a few... half your pay per day,

but, uh, I get paid for my dick,

and I don’t have a hard-on,
and you suck my dick right now.

Get on your knees, and thank God
that you can do it."

- Yep.
- "Because I gotta get

the hard-on, and I have to cum,
so my job is harder."

- I resent that.
- I mean, I’ve done

that kinda thing before,

and especially, like,
not really having to fuck

since I had herpes at the time,

you know, I couldn’t have anyway.

But, just like, "Uh, uh, uh,"
is fine with me.

Were you, uh, getting into it as Aunt May,

or were you getting into it as Jennifer?

As a camp personality.

- But a personality nonetheless.
- Yeah, which I permanently am.

First time I saw it, I got sick.

- You threw up or something?
- You used to not wanna

- come on the set when...
- Right, right.

Very first time, I thought,
"Okay, this is a challenge,

it’s, like, it’s healthy, it’s a challenge.

This is absurd, this is degrading,

this is disgusting,
but how can I be a whole person

if I haven’t faced up to this
and dealt with it?"

I mean, a fascination with the low life,

a fascination with sleaze,
I mean, how many times

have you not wanted to work in a restaurant

because you can dance topless
if you wanted to?

And it’s a lot different scene,

and I have this, uh, desire

to take those... those challenges

and go for it, that’s all.

Do you have anything to say?

Do you not want this to happen, what?

Yeah, I like it, that it happens.

Well, what did you think?

Is this the first
X-rated film set you’ve been on?

- Yeah.
- What’d you think?

Or you didn’t know?

I like it in a way.

Have you ever gone to see the movies,

as, you know, a man?

- Twice a year.
- Twice, and why twice?

Why those two times a year do you go?

To jerk off?

- Who do I go...
- Bachelor party.

No, I was bored and I went to the movies.

- That’s nice.
- Yeah.

And when... did you like
what you saw those two times?

Um, I got hard for five minutes,
and then I...

Oh, that’s good,
at least a hot five minutes

is all I want anyway.

Um, I mainly...

Are you in character all the time?

In character? During sex, I’m
never in character during sex.

I can’t have sex as Sharon Mitchell, right,

and it’s like,
I have to have sex as Carmen,

or fuckin’ Tallulah, or somebody else,

because I can’t get fucked
in front of the camera

unless I’m that per... I’m an actress,

I really am an actress.

Yes, perhaps that they...
they can’t really enjoy it,

or they couldn’t be acting.

I mean, it’s the question
about acting in real life,

and they’re doing a very intimate thing,

and yet it’s being called acting.

Is it an enjoyable thing?

Is it pleasurable
the way private sex can be?

Or is it, um, purely
an acting experience for them?

Who are you when you’re off-screen

with somebody you like?

I... I can’t say, because I’m...
yeah, I’m always in character.

You always do a character off-screen, too?

I’m off-screen right now
and I’m a character.

Is that okay with you?

- I don’t know any other way.
- Really?

I get paid to wait around between shots.

I don’t get paid to act,
I do it all the time.

What’d you think?

Great, very, very good.

See you at 7:30 sharp.

Hold the position...
now, you use your eyes more.

She was using her eyes...

Okay, is that all right for you, camera?

Fine, fine.

All right, we’ll go on from here.

Where’s Sparky?

You know where she is?

Yeah.

Where?

Sparky’s over in the corner
trying to find a vein.

- No.
- The last half hour.

Tigr, sometimes I get the feeling

you don’t love me anymore.

That’s funny, Mitch,
wonder where you get that idea.

I don’t know, the way you walk.

You know what we should do?

We should go to Florida again.

So that you could get healthy.

It’d be great for your liver.

Yeah, you’re right, it would be great.

And... and we can go and, uh...

and hang out, and watch the men
check the trees and stuff

and we could go see Bobby’s mom...

- Who’s dying.
- ...who’s dying.

And hang out, and sort of have
a little honeymoon.

Oh, yeah.

- That’d be nice.
- But I need $300,

’cause I already paid for the tickets.

Can you give me another advance?

- I already paid for them.
- Oh, Mitch, Mitch.

- Come on.
- Already paid for the tickets?

- Yep.
- I really don’t have any money.

I mean, the petty cash
that I have is, like,

it’s already promised to John Martin.

Tig, I love you.

How do I know you’re telling me the truth?

Because I love you, I do. I do.

You know, if you don’t pay John,
I will die.

- I’ll pay him.
- I’ll kill you.

- I know you will.
- I’ll fucking kill you.

But you can kill me in Florida, come on.

Forwards.

And backwards.

And forwards.

And backwards.

Look at this, uh, extension.

- Good body.
- A little butterfly.

You can tear the, uh,

muscles apart, like fine little snakes

writhing beneath the skin.

I love being in front of the camera.

I love to have sex in front of the camera.

That one moment,

that one moment.

That you just look and you know
you’re being filmed.

You can’t look at it,
you can’t look at the camera.

But you know that you’re being filmed

by this big, black,
expensive piece of machinery.

Nothing can touch it,
nothing can touch the film.

Not you, not anyone,

not even the cameraman,

and you’re all on these little fragments,

little pieces of film.

Little, little, little, tiny ones.

And then it gets blown up.

Bigger than life, bigger than life

onto the screen.

I don’t do what I do very well,
so I don’t really expect

anybody else around here to do it either.

Well, I wouldn’t say that.

- What a coincidence.
- Oh shit.

Yeah, well, you must want something.

Just you.

Come on, honey, don’t feed me those lines.

I’ve heard ’em all before.

It’s... it’s not a line.

Hey, we’ve got another announcement.

All right, I wanna... I wanna...
wait a minute, wait a minute,

wait a minute,
I gotta make some announcements.

Just a minute... there’s been trouble

on this set here, okay, in the past.

There’s been a lot of troubles.

A lot of you may know about the incident.

We’re using
a code word, "yellow."

Oh, David.

- Yeah?
- Do you mind?

Thank you.

We’re using
the code word "yellow."

When you come back in here...
when you come back in here,

you use the word "yellow" at the door.

Okay, I wanna really make this final...

this final shoot really work, okay?

You’ve been beautiful so far.

Let’s really make this good.

You paying attention, man?

- Come on.
- Yeah, yes, yes.

I want it hot, I want it clean,

I want it tight, and everybody’s...

We can do it if somebody
stops talking on the set

- all the goddamn time.
- And that somebody

will stop talking and
stop signing your checks, too.

- Can you dig that?
- Roll camera, let’s go!

All right, so we got that all together now?

- I want a good shoot.
- Okay.

- I feel good about it.
- Good, let’s go!

This is a war, this is a war.

Hey, go smoke your fucking cigar
and let us get the picture done,

- will you?
- 15, Adam, take 2.

- Action.
- You just have to learn

how to talk to her,
you can have anything you want,

but you have to know how to get it.

Now, what can you do for me?

I can set you up

for life.

Set me up?

For life.

Then set me up.

- Unzip his pants.
- Just go through it.

- Let’s go, come on.
- She’s okay, ’cause they’re...

they’re gonna go down to business.

Keep it rolling, keep it rolling.

We’re going MOS from here,
let’s just go on.

- I’m not gonna do it.
- Come on.

- Yes, you are.
- I’m not gonna do this now.

- Yes.
- Yes, we are, come on.

We’re going straight through.

- Huh?
- We’re going straight through.

Isn’t that right?

Let’s go, come on, unzip his pants and...

No, forget it.

- Hey, come on.
- What?

Come on, you gotta do this.

- No.
- Look, come on, listen, you knew

this was gonna happen, we’re
going straight through with it.

I didn’t know this was gonna
happen, I didn’t know

it was gonna happen with him here.

With who here?

- Who?
- Mr... you know,

Mr. Blackstone,
or whatever his name is.

- Forget him, you know?
- Greystone.

- Let’s come on.
- No, I’m not gonna do this.

What do... what do you wanna
do here anyway, man?

- She’s gonna give you a blowjob.
- No, wait a second, now listen,

- I got two sex scenes, too.
- Hey, that’s not my problem.

I’m supposed to make you
to go through the blowjob.

Now, if you want Greystone off the set...

He has got nothing to do with it,

I’m not doing two, you’re not paying me

for fucking two, you’re getting one.

- Get out of here.
- So, you fucking figure it out.

You decide what you wanna do.

- Easy.
- Let me know.

- Calm, calm.
- Mr. Gerald.

- Let’s take...
- Calm.

We’ll take care of it, come on,
you take it easy.

- What’s the problem?
- Don’t ask me

what the problem is.

- What’s the... what’s the problem?
- I don’t know,

- what’s your problem?
- I’m not gonna do anything

around you, okay?

Well, can we get somebody else?

What, get somebody else for me,
or get somebody else for you?

No, can’t get anybody else
for me, I write the checks.

Anybody, yeah, why won’t you
just go to the Howard Johnson

- and pick somebody up.
- John!

Where’s John?

- I know how you do this stuff.
- Where’d he go?

I gave you the gum for Christ’s sakes,

- what else do you need?
- Why don’t you just go get

one of your junkie girls, you know?

- Who’ll do it for 50 cents.
- Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Well, cool her out, all right?

- Why don’t you get one of them?
- Okay, come on.

Mantra, let’s go in the makeup room.

Get her out of town, get her off the set.

- Fuck you.
- Get her off the set.

- Tigr, get her off the set.
- Come on.

Mantra, please.

- Where do you get these people?
- Where do you get this person?

He’s the worst sleaze bag in the business.

Hey, hey, hey, get her out of here.

- Come on.
- Jesus Christ!

That man, he’s an asshole, he’s a fiend!

Okay, you’re looking at the bananas.

Awesome.

Look at the bananas.

You’ve never seen bananas like this.

Little more leg, come on there.

Don’t be shy, it’s your skin,
it’s part of your body,

you know?

Okay, lift your other leg up.

One banana.

Oh, I’ve got a great idea.

You get off one banana here,
I’m gonna get sort of, like,

you’re outside, you know,
the wind’s blowing.

So, I’ve got this fan... squat down.

No, no, other knee up, too.

That’s it, good, good, now let me see

a little more leg... let that thing blow.

That’s it, beautiful.

That’s what I want.

Good.

Mouth open.

Ooh, nice lips... change your position.

Lift your skirt up more,
let me see a little more skin.

You have nice legs, show them.

Give me a flash,
a flash of your skirt real fast,

- lift it up.
- Gerry, can I get this tree?

Good, sure, what do you wanna
do with the tree?

I’m gonna use it downstairs.

Ugh, god, all these interruptions.

Look, this woman is a future star.

Do you realize that?

Listen to her, fortunately she doesn’t

have to pay the bill...
all right, can I have

a little more chest, please?

It’s okay, okay?

It’s okay, these pictures are just for us,

just to work together.

I think you have a future in this.

I know, but I read this article
where they did that to this girl

and they sold them,
and I don’t wanna do that.

- No, no, I would never do that...
- No, I swear to God.

You need a model’s release, really.

You’d get paid, I really... I really...

You... you gotta trust me.

You’re really beautiful
and I’m really sincere.

- Aw.
- I am.

I am... oh, that’s nice,
keep laughing, that’s beautiful.

That’s beautiful.

- Don’t you think I’m sincere?
- Uh.

All right, just put your hand...
let’s... let it...

let it drop natural.

Let it drop natural, okay, natural.

Ooh, nice.

Good, now let it drop,
just pull it down just a tad.

Be loose, and easy, and open, and free.

- For better stills, you mean?
- For better stills,

and a better future.

- A future doing what?
- A future.

We’re living in the then and now.

- Uh-huh.
- You know, so this,

what we’re doing now...

Ooh, wait a minute, there’s some yuck

under your arms there, ugh.

What, uh...

- It’s part of your.
- Uh-huh.

Okay, all right, a little off this.

You can trust me,
don’t worry about it, okay?

Well, but, Harry Adams told me that...

Harry Adams... okay, if you know
anything about Harry Adams,

he tells that to everybody,
he bad mouths everybody

in the business to suit his own purposes

- and ends, can you dig it?
- But he said that

you did the same thing,
and I don’t understand.

Well, look, what’s your feeling?

Well, I mean, I trust him
when I’m with him,

and I trust you when I’m with you,

- but I don’t know.
- Okay, you’re not with him now,

so trust me, and when you’re with him,

trust him, but what has he
ever done for you?

Would you release
your hand there for a second?

Well, he’s nice.

Well, I’m nice, too,
but I can get you work.

I mean, you know, I can
really do something for you

and help you with your career.

Well, but, I don’t wanna make porn movies.

I do other things than porn movies.

- Really?
- Sure, Rice Krispies

commercials, uh, Wing Shacks, Ivory Snow.

Oh, I’d love to do a TV commercial.

Would you really?
All right, then let me see

the rest of your legs
and the rest of your body.

One, all right.

No flash.

Pose, Mitch, pose.

Scenes aren’t worth doing
if there’s no one there

to watch it, or there’s
no one there to document it,

or there’s no... it’s Tigr and Mitch.

It was like The Tigr and Mitch Show.

Wanna take a picture with me for John?

We created a lot of gossip
and dish and talk,

and we became an item in the business,

which is, like, in a way, useful,

because that’s... I mean,

when people stop talking,
then you start worrying.

And after a while, I realized that

this is, like, a romance
designed for the business.

It’s a porno... porno romance.

And its purpose was to deceive
people in the business

or to distract people in the business.

I mean, we became, like,
partners so that...

Goddamn, I was just... speak of the devil!

...the people
that would hit on you,

or the men that would
hit on you in the hotel

when you were waiting
for your call or something.

I mean, we had an excuse
because we were lovers,

so we would be left alone.

- Going to 7-Eleven, right?
- Going to 7-Eleven.

Boy, this one’s great.

You like that one, huh?

So you gonna do a thing with Kandi Barbour?

- No.
- No. I wouldn’t work

with Kandi Barbour, she...

"Hi, I’m Kandi Barbour,

and I have nothing
between my ears."

No, no, listen,
she’s outside, she’s waiting.

Nice stage, right?

- Is it a big stage?
- Her and Tigr?

- Yeah, it’s a big stage.
- Nice sound system?

Yeah.

It’s a... there’s a big stage

and then a runway that comes out.

Oh, a runway. Great. Okay.

And then a big stage
on the front of that...

- Five shows is okay.
- ...but there’s a set...

- you sure?
- As long as it’s a nice... yeah.

No, five shows is fine,

as long as it’s a nice stage.

Then I’m gonna... what I wanna do is

double it up with another show

so we’ve got a total of 10 shows a day.

I wanna do that...

How ’bout a love act with you and Tigr?

A love act?

We can do a love/hate act.

A love/hate act.

No one has ever done a hate act.

- Haight-Ashbury.
- A Haight-Ashbury act.

Act Mac.

Act Mac?

We’ll do an Act Mac.

Yeah, let’s do it, you want to?

- Yeah.
- All right, we’ll do it.

- You want to?
- Sure.

Okay, we’ll do it.

Look at how ugly Tigr looks.

Tigr never looks ugly.

With her fuckin’ braided hair.

No, I love that.

She looks like a Botticelli angel.

The day I can’t do this

is the day that I get very upset.

Can you make the egg disappear?

Huh?

Can you make the egg disappear?

No, no, no, I don’t mean that.

Wait, here.

What can you do?

That’s the reverse of laying an egg.

- Let’s see.
- I can do it.

Let’s see you do it.

I can do it!

Maybe.

Let’s see it.

How much...

- Maybe I can.
- How much will we pay you?

Maybe we’ll find you some drugs.

Oh, okay.

I’ll give you a dollar, what the hell.

A dollar?

I’ll take it, man.

Make the dollar disappear,
make the dollar disappear.

Make the egg disappear.

Nah-nah, nah-nah-nah!

Now, what did I win?
A dollar?

An egg, right?

A dollar, an egg, and what else?

Uh...

It’s a constant performance.

But she really loves it
and she really does it well.

These look pretty good, Tigr.

And they were the audience
and we were the performers.

I mean, I was like a partner
in performance with her

for the rest of the world.

And drugs play a very big part in this,

because it’s... you have to remember,

every time you shoot up,

it’s like a truth serum.

And so, we would confess to one another

these certain emotions or whatever.

And there was, like,
this moment of intense, like,

"It’s either now or never.

I’ve gotta tell you everything

or I’ve gotta make love to you right now,"

or I’ve gotta whatever-it-is,

and it was like, at that point,

only I was thinking in the vein

that I was in love with her,
and so, you know,

I wanted to...

I wanted to make love to her.

Come on in.

I’m almost ready.

Tigr, watch.

How Mitch puts on makeup

- in a car.
- In a cab, in a taxicab.

- Cocksucker Red, I’m sure.
- No, it’s Pussy Pink.

I wouldn’t have Cocksucker Red,

- what do you think I am?
- Mm-hm.

Okay. Mac?

- Hey, Mitch.
- What?

I got a 72-year-old guy
who’s gonna shoot me some pool

for five bucks.

Good. Maybe I can fuck him
for 500.

Let’s go.

Come on.

You don’t play rock and roll.

I know.

So I can hang out with you.

I would still hang out with you

if you didn’t play rock and roll, maybe.

Oh yeah, sure, you’d drop by

when I was washing dishes
at some restaurant.

Sure.

Get something to eat,

pass me your dirty dishes.

Maybe slip back into the back room

for a few minutes
to say hi to an old friend.

Show you the view?

Yeah, that old... my favorite view.

Your favorite view.

And I had left Mitch
in my room before going out.

I went out in a rush
and she wanted to be quiet,

and, well, I got back
and the money was gone.

She wasn’t here.

Right away, I knew what had happened.

I mean, you know how drugs go

and how junkies act on certain...

in certain states.

I mean, when they need it, they get it,

no matter how.

Um... the director was...

on drugs a lot of the time,

as was a lot of the cast and crew.

Made for a bad working situation.

When, uh, one of...

when Mitch didn’t show up,
uh, for the shoot,

we were kept waiting around
on the set for four hours.

My soundman partner had just flown in

from four days of work in L.A.,
he was completely tired.

He’d been there since five,

making it nine hours, I believe,
that he hung out.

You gave her the money?

I gave her an advance.

You fool, you.

Now you’ve cost me more.

This is a day of shooting without her.

And that money doesn’t grow on trees.

I gotta answer to people, you know?

New York people.

You know, the East?

You know the people I’m talking about?

I’m looking. I called every
fucking number I have, Jerry,

- I don’t have...
- You have contacts, come on.

She’s your best buddy.

Mac, where is she?

She tried to stay up all night

with friends of hers
coming in from New York.

Well, you know our friends from New York.

No, I don’t.

I mean, I’ve met ’em, but...

Do you want me to wrap?

I just wonder if you take a wrap

and save... you know, save the time

so we don’t have to pay ’em overtime.

And wait till we find Mitch.

You know what we got?

We got 9,000 feet
of "Where’s Mitch?"

And I’m tired of that.

Clear this fucking table off.

Look at this goddamned trashy-ass food.

Get it out of here!

I’m tired.

Crew, wrap this fucking place.

Nine thousand feet of film.

Where is she?

Yeah! All right.

Fast Floyd and the Famous Firebirds,

and the best dancers.

Thanks so much to Precious here.

- This is Precious.
- Thank you!

Sharon Mitchell.

Some girls just can’t
stay away from this guy here.

All right, everybody get in the act now.

We’re talking about
"High Blood Pressure."

One, two, three, four!

I get high blood pressure
when you call my name

Oh, I get high blood pressure
when you call my name

I get high blood pressure

Ooh, yeah, high blood pressure
when you’re in my arms

Well, my eyes start to
jumpin’ up and down insane

My heart’s just a-pumpin’
up and down in pain

Shivers up and down my spine, it’s true

My face started sweatin’

and it’s all because of you

I get high blood pressure
when you call my name

I get high blood pressure, I can hardly see

I get high blood pressure

Ooh, get high blood pressure
when you’re in my arms

My heart starts to jumpin’
up and down insane

My heart’s just a-pumpin’
up and down in pain

Shivers up and down my spine, it’s true

My face started sweatin’...

Aw, fuck.

Thanks a lot, Mitchie.

I’m done.

Mitch, I’m getting worried about you.

Don’t worry about me.

Don’t worry about me, uh-uh.

Worry about yourself, or better yet,

don’t worry at all, all right?

That’s very funny.

You know, I’m just telling you,

you don’t show up, everyone’s going,

"Where’s Mitch?"

And you’re blaming me for people saying...

What the fuck is this,

- I’m blaming you?
- Listen, listen.

You blame me because, Mitch,

you’re telling me
I tell people you get high

and this and that,

I’m fucking up your reputation.

- You do.
- Who didn’t show up

on the fucking set today?

Who was in jail? You know...

First thing, I put myself in jail,

first of all, okay?

- Yeah, right.
- Okay?

That’s why I didn’t show up
on the set, all right?

’Cause no one came to bail
me out until late, all right?

Second of all, what is this shit now?

Now, this is the real core
of the fucking reason.

What is this shit
about getting... first of all,

you do tell people I get high, Tigr.

You fuckin’ do.

You tell people in the fucking industry

that I get high.

- You know why?
- Why?

Because they know anyway, man.

You can’t do a fuckin’ sex scene

with goddamned fuckin’ tracks on your arms.

You think I’m the only one
that tells everybody?

You fuckin’ broadcast it
without even knowing it.

Well, maybe I’m fooling
everybody except myself,

darling, but do me one favor, you know?

I don’t fuckin’ broadcast it
by opening my mouth.

Well, I’m translucent, okay?

I’m a piece of translucent shit,

I tell people what’s going on in my life.

Maybe that’s why I’m not
fuckin’ in jail tonight.

Well, good.

Maybe that’s why I was in jail last night.

Thanks for the money,

I’ll take it out of petty cash,

and goodbye.

Hey, Tigr.

What’s poppin’?

Hey, Tig.

Hey, Mac.

Feel like throwing some dice?

Not really.

Really? What’s poppin’?

Happening?

I don’t know, I just don’t know
why she does this.

I don’t know why she does this.

Are you talking about the girl again?

I just rolled a seven.

You know... goddammit...

I mean, it’s like... I mean, she fucks...

off camera the same way
she fucks on camera.

So you don’t ever really know what’s real.

So it’s all rehearsed, you know.

So she’s pissed at me ’cause I don’t...

’cause I don’t hide about
what’s happening and shit.

Then fuck her.

Fuck her, man.

She’s the one that’s fucking up her life,

not me.

Do you know what I mean?

Scars.

Lucky I didn’t get that on the first roll.

I don’t know.

I mean, I really love her.
You think I love her?

Does she think I love her?

I don’t know if I love her.

I mean, I love this part of her.

But, uh...

it’s possible that we never
actually really were lovers.

You know, if you keep
talking about that shit, man,

I’m gonna be losing, okay?

I got a six, I gotta get a six again.

When I bring it up to her...

Look, I’m talking about dice,
you’re talking about the Mitch.

Of course I love her.

Of course I love her.

But I also hate her, I guess, you know,

say the same old thing.

Shit. What the...

Look. I wanna shoot some dice,
all right?

Okay, I got a six.

I wanna get another six, all right?

Look at that.

See it says Frog Legs, man?

They’re talkin’ about me.

Talkin’ about me.

This is my record, see?

Hey, dude, you’re taking up screen time.

- Hey.
- This is a commercial

- for a fuckin’ Fast Floyd...
- Who are you?

Hey, bring the camera over here.

You don’t listen to her.

You’re talkin’ to Floyd here.

What are you laughing at?

I’m laughing at you, shit.

Talk about that French whore
on the record now.

Really? Mantra!

- What?
- Did you come back?

- Uh-huh.
- Did you?

- Yeah.
- Really?

Yeah, I’m not gonna do it
with any men, okay?

I’ll do the scene with Mitch,
that’s the only thing I’ll do.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Um, okay, so...

- You’re drunk.
- No, I’m not drunk.

Everybody, guys, you got releases,

you can go.

You’re done, you’re wrapped.

Thanks a lot.

- All right.
- Appreciate it.

In fact, beat it.

Now I got... no, seriously,
’cause now I got...

my actor just came back
and I gotta get this thing...

- You really gonna do it?
- Yeah, okay?

But you understand that, you know,

I’m just gonna do the scene with... hi.

I’m just gonna do the scene with Mitch,

and I don’t want Greystone
anywhere on set, all right?

Okay. See you guys.

Goodbye. Thanks.

We can do it that way?

That’s fine with me,

I really appreciate that you came back.

Okay. I mean, you know,
I wanna do it...

Hey, great, get into makeup.

Hey, I’ll call up the stunt cunt.

I don’t have to do it, right?

Yeah.

- In the bathroom.
- You don’t mind?

I appreciate it.

Great, thank you.

You’re lyin’ through your teeth.

Me? Me?

Under L.

For?
No shit.

Right there.

Oh, Tiffany’s expecting to do it.

- Yeah, yeah.
- Oh, okay.

So, Tra,
why... why? Why?

- I needed the money.
- Why are you back here?

After all of that fucking

hollering and pissing and moaning?

I need the money, you know?

How’m I gonna pay my rent?

Yeah, I know.

Well, I actually appreciate it.

I mean, you know, I’m not doing
things with men anymore.

Um, and I won’t do it
while Greystone’s here,

and that’s... that’s what that is.

Yeah, just letting you know.

Good. I can’t stand it here.

How do you think I feel?

No, but really.

I thought that was it for you
in the business forever.

I wanted to work with Mitch.

So I’m gonna do it, okay?

Okay.

We’re working on it right now.

Still.

Don’t be an asshole.

Tig, do you want this
all ready, or should I...

is it too early for the smoke?

Um, it’s a little early.

Mitch isn’t even awake yet.

Goddammit.

You look good in black.

I would stick more with the darker colors.

Okay? I’m serious.

Really?

Yeah, it’s color-coordinated
with the roots.

Are you gonna be my new wardrobe advisor?

Mm-hm. I’m gonna be
a lot of things for you.

Okay. Jerry of London.

- Jerry of...
- Gerald.

Gerald Greystone Exteriors.

Mm-hm.

Have you got a stage name,
or is that your stage name?

Blowdryer.

It depends if I want everyone to know

I’m in what I’m in.

Jennifer Blowdryer is good.

Good.

Do you use a blow dryer?

I was in a punk band called The Blow Dryers

for a year and a half.

Do you play an instrument?

I play keyboards, but I sang in that band.

I play congas.

Mm. Learn something new
every day.

Nice nostrils.

Danke schön, mein Schatz.

I’m gonna move this thing here,

because if we leave it on here,

somebody’s gonna bump into it

and knock it off
and burn the shit out of this.

Is there any fucking way
we can open the window?

I like that guy who sits in a wheelchair

with the cage around him

and monkeys clawing at his body

and gives all the money to the Boys Town.

Have you seen him?

No.

Are those part of the Jesus freaks?

No, he’s on his own tangent.

I like the girls that look suburban

and have fuzzy sweaters and their babies

and they have.

That’s how you know there’s
really depression.

You look good.

I like this Polaroid because we look like

these two sort of Renoir, Gauguin people

and my tits are really hanging down.

That’s what I like about it.

This is what... but this is
what girls look like, okay?

This is particularly what you look like

with two different faces, like this.

- No.
- And two different dimensions.

That’s what you’re gonna
look like when you’re 40.

And this little flipper here,

this kind of Thalidomide hand here...

And one tit lower than the other?

...in the eighth dimension.

And your stomach’s hanging,
and my stomach’s adding...

I look like one of those
Pre-Columbian figurines,

you know, where my tits
are in the same dimension

as my stomach,

and I like Juliet here.

Our fearless reader.

Huh?

Our fearless leader.

Our fearless leader.
She looks really serious there.

She’s serious as a heart attack.

What was she saying when she was there?

She was saying, "Is it okay?
Is it okay?"

And I was going,
"Yes, I’m fine."

- Mark it.
- Scene 35.

Rolling.

Little smoke in here would be nice.

She was an opera singer.

Who?

The woman.

What woman?

It was the first time I was in love.

Or what I thought was love.

Have you ever been in love, Mantra?

Mm, I guess not really.

Have you ever made love

with a woman before?

No.

I don’t know.

Will you show me?

Would you like to?

You have no choice.

Don’t giggle.

Why not?

I like it when you giggle.

What might happen?

So, uh... goyls.

- Yes?
- Need a little more slime,

sleaze, you know what I mean.

Okay, good, right.

Sit on her face and spread your lips

and angle to the light.

Mantra, flatten your left hand.

Flatten your left hand on her...
fine, that’s it, good.

I’m flashing.

- Mitch?
- Yes?

Have an orgasm here.

We got a Fellini look.

We’ve got the 10 o’clock news
next door, Phil.

Get somebody over there
and tell them to shut it up.

I’m cumming, cumming,
cumming, cumming, cumming.

I’m still not believing this.

Ohh!

Hey, come on.

Okay, cut, I’m out of film.

I’m Mantra’s mantra, mantra, mantra.

I’m cumming, cumming, cumming, cumming.

- Mantra’s mantra, mantra.
- Cumming, cumming, cumming!

Smut pink?
Pussy pink?

You know, only we lost the director, so.

- Okay.
- Okay?

Mitch, you know what to do.

Make Mantra, you know...

Okay. Hey, Mitch,
you wanna come back and...

Mitch? Can you come back
and let’s...

I have to piss.

Can we film it?

- Can you piss...
- Where would you like it?

On Mantra.

It’s nothing new for you, I heard.

No, go ahead, piss and come back

- so we can get this.
- I’ll be right back.

You can record the piss, if you’d like.

I know what you’re gonna say,

and don’t say it.

But I never get poison oak, either.

I mean, God forbid
we should either die young

or live to be old ladies, I don’t know.

But I don’t care anymore.

- But I don’t have to.
- You know what?

You know why I hate you?

Because you have this power,

and you are a failure, though.

Do you know that?

I mean, do you know what I’m saying?

Yeah, I do, and it’s okay now,
you know why?

Because I fuckin’
understand that, you know?

And when you understand something,

even if it’s a big problem to anyone else

or however it seems to be a problem,

whether you shoot coke

or whether you’re upset

or whether you’re a failure,

when you realize that, yawning.

It’s all right, you know?

It’s a situation, it’s not a problem.

You either deal with it,

you either die,

or you walk around fuckin’ dead.

And I’m not gonna be embarrassed

and walk around dead like.

So I’m gonna sit here and just
fucking show people about it,

’Cause some... one person
is gonna get off on it

that’s gonna be this way,
that’s like me, and say,

"Oh, that fuckin’ asshole’s still alive

and she had the balls to do this.

I’m gonna be all right."

One person’s gonna do it, just one,

and that’s all right.

’Cause more than one person
jerks off to me,

and that’s great.

But I hate that, you know?

The Sharon Mitchell they see
is not Sharon Mitchell,

and that’s why I am, maybe,
what you call a failure.

But you just say that because
you’re talking about yourself,

you know, and I can rationalize
my way out of anything,

and I could hurt you or whatever.

I don’t fuckin’ know what to do.

I don’t know what to do.

You don’t know what to do, Tigr?

You know what that is?

That’s it, that’s all there is to it.

But there’s more than that.

There’s so much more,

and you know what it could be?

This guy on the plane said

it could be just waking up every day.

It could be, you know,

why I couldn’t get
on the fuckin’ plane, though,

because I said my cat’s name is Mario

and that meant something.

The whole world is backwards, you know?

It could be why you told me
never to learn how to fuckin’

operate a computer.

It’s important for me to make it clear.

Isn’t that funny?

That’s all it is.

Oh, girl.

Oh, man.

You fucking scare me, too.

I don’t know why.

’Cause I can be a snake, you know?

The last time I was in your bed with you

and, like, fooling around
with you, you know,

I was like...

like pulsating with you
like a fuckin’ snake, you know?

Did you dig that I was doing that?

You fuckin’ goddamn fuckin’ asshole.

’Cause I was trying
to fuckin’ think of something

to do on the stage.

Cold.

Cold. I hate cold.

I can’t deal with cold.

But why can’t you fuckin’...

Because we gotta do it alone,

but we gotta know that
there’s somebody else there

doin’ it alone too.

But you need to know
that you don’t really feel good

on some level, don’t you know that?

I know that, because
I’m always fucking acting.

That’s all I know how to do!

You’re an asshole for doing this
to me, Mitch, you know?

Wasn’t fair, it’s not right!

You’re doing the same thing to Mantra.

You’re drawing her in
into your little game, you know?

- That’s not true.
- All you can do is perform.

All you do is perform.

You have no real person.

God! You know,
I really believed in you once,

I really fuckin’ believed in you,

that you... you know,
you had some seed of, like,

power that was gonna do something,

change the business,

and all you... you’re not
gonna change the business.

You’re stuck.

You’re fuckin’ stuck in the business,

and you’re trying to get me stuck with you,

and you’ll try and get
everyone else stuck with you

that you can.

That is not true.

That’s what you can say
right now and right here,

but, girl, look at your life.

I beg to differ.

I love you anyway.

And I’m going.

Yeah, well you have bow legs!

I know why she did this.

She did this to get me
in front of the camera again.

Yeah, to get me in front
of the fucking camera.

And I don’t wanna do it.

I just wanna put it on film
and then store it away

and just leave it there.

Yeah.

I’ve always wanted to put it on film.

Mitch.

What the fuck’s the matter with you?

There’s a camera here.

I need a drink.

You’re always trying to find the perfect.

Yeah, so?

That was like an excuse.

What do you mean?

Always try and look for something,

trying to find people to enjoy it with.

Trying to think that it wasn’t a phase.

I know; it is a phase
and it’s over.

I know that it’s over,

and it feels really safe,
but I’ll tell you...

the fuckin’ first time
you didn’t wanna get high

and I wanted you to get high, you know?

Mm.

For that very reason.

That’s what’s gonna happen.

You have to... I fuckin’
have to get high again,

and just say it on film,

and internal.

Cheers.

We don’t wanna see what you all are seeing.

This is the truth.

Mitch...

No, Tigr, shut up, man.

This is what you fuckin’ want,
this is what you got.

You don’t have to put it in,
you can give it to me.

I’ll put it in my movie.

But, goddammit,
if I’m fucking gettin’ high,

I’m jeopardizing my career.

But as I said in the cab scene,

there’s no fucking legitimate
and illegitimate shit.

There’s no real or anything.

No one dragged you into anything.

This was my dick.

I fucked her with my dick.

And she loved it.

And I waited,

I waited for this fucking
relationship to mature.

And I was a spy,

and I didn’t dig it
all that much, you know?

- What do you mean?
- I dug the image,

but I had my fuckin’ mic on

when Mantra was talking to me

about what she was, like,

film-talking about that man
that she hates so much?

Well, she really said some things

when I was mic’d

about the real thing.

The real fuckin’ movie
within a movie within a movie.

It’s fuckin’ timeless,

just like this woman
laying here, freakin’ out.

It’s timeless.

I’m not freakin’ out.

She’s bugged, but this is
fuckin’ what it’s like.

It’s real.

Uh-uh.

I just wanna put it on film...

- And...
- ...and store it away.

...it was beautiful,

panning up from that kid.

Because that was a kid and that was sex

and that’s what it was.

There’s too much dialogue in this.

You know?
This is fuckin’ real.

Are you rolling?

Mitch, are you ready on...

I am rolling.

Camera roll six, sound five,

scene 24, take 18...

Do the movie business.

You know?

Something to fit in every hole.

I feel like we’ve totally blown it,

but we still have another chance to, um...

do what we have to do.

And I wanna do it.

I wanna do this movie, I wanna make a movie

that shows...

that you have to do all these holes

and they have to find new holes

and they have to keep
creating new holes, you know?

It’s just in, out.

Mm. You know?

Oh, goddammit.

Cut camera.

Totally, totally naked.

Also Mitch.

You hear me?

Mitch?

There’s one thing, though.

I wanna learn, I wanna learn,

I wanna learn how to do it.

I wanna learn technique.

I wanna learn Method.

I wanna learn what it is.

I have all this heart and all this guts,

but I don’t have technique.

I need the Stanislavski,

I need someone who’s gone through it.

Just gotta learn how to apply it.

I didn’t used to need
to fuckin’ fix all the time.

Now I have to fix on everything.

And I wanna do it.

What... what is it that you fix on anymore,

that’s not... I mean,

all these people, I’ve seen them.

Fat people, unhealthy people,

and I know that’s wrong,

but I can’t get it together either.

What’s the matter
with the fuckin’ human beings?

What are we missing?

You know?

Do you know?

I mean, what am I missing
that I keep having to do this?

It’s not Mitch at all.

Fuck you.

I don’t know, I don’t think

it’s anything powerful like magic,

I don’t think it’s Atlantis,

I don’t think it’s the Bermuda Triangle.

There’s nothing left that gets me off.

There’s fucking nothing left.

Do you know how awful that is?

And I don’t feel like
killing myself, either.

That’s the only thing that gets me off,

is the fact that I can still live.

And keep trying to find
some other way of getting off

without being a... a total junkie.