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1
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:13,081
Steve?
Shh!
2
00:00:13,147 --> 00:00:15,015
[whispers] not while
I'm paddling.
3
00:00:16,184 --> 00:00:17,851
Well, do you
Have to do that?
4
00:00:17,918 --> 00:00:20,721
Yep. I'm gunning
For a new record.
5
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,456
3,020.
6
00:00:22,523 --> 00:00:23,724
3,030.
7
00:00:23,791 --> 00:00:24,925
Oh, wait!
No, no, no, no.
8
00:00:24,992 --> 00:00:27,161
Aah! Aah!
9
00:00:27,228 --> 00:00:30,030
Now, no more
Paddleball.
10
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:36,003
Fine. No more
Paddleball.
11
00:00:36,070 --> 00:00:37,805
Thank you. Because
I have to study.
12
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,109
[whispering]
I was so close.
13
00:00:43,377 --> 00:00:45,079
[sighs]
14
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:50,284
[plays the blues]
15
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:55,055
Steve?
16
00:00:58,025 --> 00:00:59,460
Steve!
17
00:01:00,261 --> 00:01:01,429
[plays louder]
18
00:01:01,495 --> 00:01:02,563
Steve!
19
00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:09,903
I'm trying to study.
20
00:01:09,970 --> 00:01:13,274
Now get out of here
Before I bust you
Upside your head.
21
00:01:13,341 --> 00:01:16,144
Well, sure.
As long as you ask
So nicely.
22
00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,448
Jeez.
23
00:01:20,514 --> 00:01:22,183
And I was going
To tell you something
Really neat, too.
24
00:01:22,250 --> 00:01:24,285
But not anymore.
Get the--
25
00:01:28,088 --> 00:01:32,025
You are
The most irritating person
I ever met in my entire life.
26
00:01:32,092 --> 00:01:33,361
Jeez.
27
00:01:33,427 --> 00:01:36,564
Hello there,
My gorgeous gob
Of grits.
28
00:01:43,036 --> 00:01:45,673
Make that the second
Most irritating.
29
00:01:59,420 --> 00:02:02,690
Ha ha ha.
H--hi, myrtle.
30
00:02:02,756 --> 00:02:03,624
Did you miss me,
31
00:02:03,691 --> 00:02:05,859
You buff bucket
Of blackberries?
32
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,130
Like head lice.
33
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:12,700
Get out.
34
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:34,988
Ooh! My, you're
Getting stronger.
35
00:02:35,055 --> 00:02:37,558
Evidently,
Not strong enough.
36
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:38,492
Look, myrtle,
37
00:02:38,559 --> 00:02:40,027
Just because you're
Steve's cousin
38
00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:43,130
Does not mean that
You can come over here
Without calling.
39
00:02:43,197 --> 00:02:45,199
Edward, I have come
All the way
40
00:02:45,266 --> 00:02:46,867
From the great state
Of mississippi
41
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:50,238
To personally invite you
To the event of the year.
42
00:02:50,304 --> 00:02:53,307
The biloxi
Debutante ball.
43
00:02:53,374 --> 00:02:56,610
Gee, I'm so sorry
I can't go.
44
00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:58,011
But you don't know
What it is.
45
00:02:58,078 --> 00:02:59,713
Doesn't matter.
46
00:03:00,848 --> 00:03:01,882
Oh, but, edward,
47
00:03:01,949 --> 00:03:04,184
This is the most
Important day
Of my life.
48
00:03:04,252 --> 00:03:08,456
It's my introduction
To biloxi society.
49
00:03:10,391 --> 00:03:12,560
Biloxi society?
50
00:03:12,626 --> 00:03:15,496
What do they do,
Put your picture
On the side of a bus?
51
00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:20,734
Jest all you want,
52
00:03:20,801 --> 00:03:22,503
But if I don't
Show up with
A good looking man,
53
00:03:22,570 --> 00:03:24,171
That sara sue
Pettyjohn
54
00:03:24,238 --> 00:03:26,640
Will make me
The laughing stock
Of biloxi.
55
00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:29,377
Hasn't your shoe size
Already done that?
56
00:03:32,346 --> 00:03:34,815
That sara sue is
A snooty little trollop
57
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,884
Who's always been
Jealous of my beauty.
58
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:41,188
Now, I will fly you in,
Buy you a tux,
59
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,724
And give you a wad
Of spending money.
60
00:03:43,791 --> 00:03:45,493
Nope.
61
00:03:45,559 --> 00:03:50,564
If you say yes,
Maybe I'll say ferrari.
62
00:03:50,631 --> 00:03:53,334
You can say lear jet
For all I care.
63
00:03:53,401 --> 00:03:55,403
Ain't no way I'm
Taking you anywhere.
64
00:03:55,469 --> 00:03:58,406
Oh, but, edward!
65
00:04:00,007 --> 00:04:02,543
You simply have to do it.
66
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:05,413
Big daddy and I
Had an altercation.
67
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:07,748
He doesn't think you're
Cultured enough for me.
68
00:04:09,783 --> 00:04:11,552
Say what?
69
00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:12,553
Yes.
70
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:14,355
Big daddy's trying
To pair me up
71
00:04:14,422 --> 00:04:18,492
With some spineless,
Smooth-talking pretty boy.
72
00:04:18,559 --> 00:04:20,894
But I like my mens
Rough and bumpy.
73
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:35,943
Hi, guys.
74
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,945
Hey, max.
Oh, hi, max.
75
00:04:38,011 --> 00:04:39,313
Well, you're all
Gussied up.
76
00:04:39,380 --> 00:04:41,014
Where are
You and laura
Off to tonight?
77
00:04:41,081 --> 00:04:42,182
The sizzle club.
78
00:04:42,249 --> 00:04:43,684
Word is toni braxton's
In town
79
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:45,052
And might drop by
Tonight.
80
00:04:45,118 --> 00:04:46,253
Oh!
Oh!
81
00:04:46,320 --> 00:04:48,756
Toni braxton, he's the bomb.
82
00:04:50,391 --> 00:04:51,859
He's also a she.
83
00:04:57,698 --> 00:04:58,866
Hey, girl.
84
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:01,301
Whoa, mama!
85
00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,203
Rama-lama-ding-dong.
86
00:05:03,270 --> 00:05:04,972
Hey, girl,
You are looking hot.
87
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,075
Hot? Why,
She could break up
Siegfried and roy.
88
00:05:10,878 --> 00:05:12,513
That dress is kicking.
89
00:05:12,580 --> 00:05:14,214
That dress is history.
90
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:15,749
What?
91
00:05:15,816 --> 00:05:17,284
Laura, sweetheart,
I can't allow you
92
00:05:17,351 --> 00:05:20,354
To go out in public
Dressed like that.
93
00:05:20,421 --> 00:05:22,022
Allow me?
94
00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:23,391
Daddy, I'm 20 years old.
95
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,559
I should be able
To dress anywya I want to.
96
00:05:25,626 --> 00:05:28,862
Well, I'm 41
And I say you can't.
97
00:05:29,830 --> 00:05:31,465
Daddy, do you really
Think that's--
98
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:33,767
Laura, if you want to go
To the sizzle club,
99
00:05:33,834 --> 00:05:37,070
You're going to have
To go upstairs
And change right now.
100
00:05:40,107 --> 00:05:41,141
Alright.
101
00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,743
Mm-hmm.
102
00:05:46,313 --> 00:05:48,281
Oh, yes, much better.
103
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:49,983
Steve!
Shutting up.
104
00:05:52,953 --> 00:05:54,555
Is this better, daddy?
105
00:05:55,789 --> 00:05:57,958
Yes, sweetheart.
You look beautiful.
106
00:05:59,960 --> 00:06:03,130
Yeah, I'll be a big hit
If it's nun night
At the sizzle club.
107
00:06:04,398 --> 00:06:06,066
That's cute.
108
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,101
Well, have fun.
109
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:10,538
Yeah, gobs of fun.
110
00:06:13,607 --> 00:06:16,510
Well, look at it
This way, laura--
111
00:06:16,577 --> 00:06:18,912
At least no other
Girl will be
Wearing that dress.
112
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,815
Yeah, I won't, either.
113
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,154
I thought you
Gave in too easy.
114
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:31,091
Girl!
115
00:06:37,765 --> 00:06:40,233
Check you tomorrow, man.
Be cool, man.
116
00:06:40,300 --> 00:06:42,503
Alright, see you.
Peace.
117
00:06:42,570 --> 00:06:44,905
Yoo-hoo, edward,
Dumpling.
118
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:46,574
Myrtle, how did
You find me here?
119
00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:48,275
I have a nose
Like a bloodhound.
120
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,677
Not to mention
Other body parts.
121
00:06:49,743 --> 00:06:51,244
Don't you run
From me, boy.
122
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:53,313
Get off me, myrtle.
Stop it! Stop!
123
00:06:53,380 --> 00:06:55,248
Now, I am here,
Rutabaga rump,
124
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,517
To ask you one more time
125
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:59,186
To escort me to the biloxi
Debutante ball.
126
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,254
Now, this is
Your last chance,
127
00:07:01,321 --> 00:07:03,824
For I absolutely
Refuse to beg.
128
00:07:03,891 --> 00:07:05,058
No!
129
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,595
Oh, please, edward,
Take me to the ball!
130
00:07:07,661 --> 00:07:08,896
Please, please, please!
131
00:07:08,962 --> 00:07:10,864
Or I'll have to go
With that pretty boy
132
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,466
Big daddy
Picked out for me.
133
00:07:12,533 --> 00:07:14,167
Look, myrtle,
For the last time,
134
00:07:14,234 --> 00:07:16,637
Will you
Leave me alone and
Stop bothering me?
135
00:07:16,704 --> 00:07:18,606
Oh, but, edward,
I need you!
136
00:07:20,273 --> 00:07:22,676
Aah! Edward, look out!
137
00:07:22,743 --> 00:07:24,144
Aah!
138
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,552
Aah!
139
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:42,029
Oh, my god!
What is that?
140
00:08:01,114 --> 00:08:03,483
How's she doing?
141
00:08:03,551 --> 00:08:05,185
She's still
Unconscious.
142
00:08:05,252 --> 00:08:06,887
Oh, I'm
Really sorry.
143
00:08:06,954 --> 00:08:09,557
I tried to stop
The car, but--
144
00:08:09,623 --> 00:08:11,391
Oh, no, man,
It wasn't your fault.
145
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,425
Really.
146
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:13,761
Thanks.
147
00:08:15,428 --> 00:08:17,297
Oh, my god!
148
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:19,232
Look what I did
To her face!
149
00:08:21,669 --> 00:08:25,639
Oh, no, no,
No, no, no.
150
00:08:25,706 --> 00:08:27,841
No, it was already
Like that.
151
00:08:30,711 --> 00:08:32,479
If I can
Do anything,
152
00:08:32,546 --> 00:08:34,548
Please,
Give me a call.
153
00:08:34,615 --> 00:08:36,216
Yeah, thank you.
154
00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,289
Hello,
I'm dr. Rubin.
155
00:08:42,355 --> 00:08:44,892
Hi. Eddie winslow.
156
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:48,528
Uh, listen, doc,
Is she going to be
Alright?
157
00:08:48,596 --> 00:08:50,197
Well, the next
24 hours
158
00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,232
Are going
To be very critical
For your girlfriend.
159
00:08:52,299 --> 00:08:53,567
Oh, wait, hold up now.
160
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:56,069
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
161
00:08:56,136 --> 00:08:57,838
She ain't my girlfriend.
162
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:07,080
Well,
I'm going to send
A plastic surgeon up
163
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,916
To look at her face.
164
00:09:11,885 --> 00:09:14,321
But she didn't
Get hit in the face.
165
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,856
I know.
166
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:18,726
I'm very concerned,
Eddie.
167
00:09:18,792 --> 00:09:20,828
If myrtle
Doesn't regain
Consciousness soon,
168
00:09:20,894 --> 00:09:24,665
There's
A strong possibility
That she never will.
169
00:09:32,606 --> 00:09:34,808
Oh, this is terrible.
170
00:09:34,875 --> 00:09:39,913
Myrtle, this is
All my fault.
171
00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:42,850
Lord, this girl risked
Her life to save mine,
172
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:45,819
And all I've done
Is treat her badly.
173
00:09:45,886 --> 00:09:47,988
Please let her wake up.
174
00:09:48,055 --> 00:09:52,159
If you do,
I promise I'll never say
Mean things to her again
175
00:09:52,225 --> 00:09:55,095
Or try to push her
Out of my life.
176
00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:57,230
I'll even--I'll even--
177
00:09:57,297 --> 00:10:00,668
I'll even escort her
To the debutante ball.
178
00:10:00,734 --> 00:10:03,236
Hallelujah, I'm healed!
179
00:10:03,303 --> 00:10:05,238
[screams]
180
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:08,241
Stop it! Get off me!
181
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:24,291
Extra! Extra!
182
00:10:24,357 --> 00:10:27,260
Reporter: tonight,
Extra's taking you
To the windy city.
183
00:10:27,327 --> 00:10:28,361
Oh, good.
184
00:10:28,428 --> 00:10:29,562
We're taking our cameras
185
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,531
To chicago's
Hottest nightclub--
186
00:10:31,598 --> 00:10:33,667
The sizzle club,
Where we caught up
187
00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,069
With a hot toni braxton.
188
00:10:36,136 --> 00:10:38,405
Carl: hey!
189
00:10:40,908 --> 00:10:42,710
Oh, no,
This is a rerun.
190
00:10:42,776 --> 00:10:44,778
No, no, no, no,
No, it isn't.
191
00:10:44,845 --> 00:10:47,580
You and max just went to see
Toni braxton last night.
192
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:52,219
Yes, the sizzle club's
Definitely the hot spot
In chicago.
193
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:09,302
Laura,
That's you on tv.
194
00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:12,773
No, it's not.
195
00:11:13,941 --> 00:11:15,375
You know
How they say
196
00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:19,446
That everybody has
A person that looks
Just like them.
197
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:21,381
That's my double.
198
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:26,653
Then your double is wearing
That tiger-print dress
199
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,922
That I told you not to wear.
200
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:34,795
It's me.
201
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,465
I changed dresses
After I left
The house.
202
00:11:47,174 --> 00:11:49,977
I just cannot believe
That you did that.
203
00:11:55,082 --> 00:11:56,984
You're not going
To yell at me?
204
00:11:57,050 --> 00:11:58,919
No, laura, I'm not
Going to yell at you.
205
00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:03,056
I'm too disappointed
To yell at you.
206
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:15,102
[orchestra plays
Once upon a dream]
207
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:20,340
Ladies and gentlemen,
208
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:25,045
Mr. And mrs.
Charles t. Wentworth
Of wentworth stables.
209
00:12:34,221 --> 00:12:37,124
Come on, myrtle.
Hurry up!
210
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:49,002
Oh, edward,
211
00:12:49,069 --> 00:12:50,971
You've made this night
So magical.
212
00:12:51,038 --> 00:12:54,474
How can I ever thank you
For escorting me?
213
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,943
Don't mention it.
214
00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:58,478
And I mean don't
Mention it to anyone.
215
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:00,480
Edward.
216
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:01,982
Ladies and gentlemen,
217
00:13:02,049 --> 00:13:05,018
Big daddy urkel
Of urkel peanuts.
218
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:15,328
That's,
Uh, mr. Big daddy
To you, sonny boy.
219
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:20,333
Here, go buy yourself
Some manners.
220
00:13:24,171 --> 00:13:26,907
Edward, how can you
Just stand there
221
00:13:26,974 --> 00:13:30,143
With that music surging
Through your bones?
222
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:32,279
Hey, look,
There's big daddy.
223
00:13:32,345 --> 00:13:34,982
Myrtle, my child!
224
00:13:35,048 --> 00:13:37,117
Don't you "Myrtle,
My child," me.
225
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:38,618
I know what
You're thinking.
226
00:13:38,685 --> 00:13:39,786
And I will have
Nothing to do
227
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,821
With that marshall
Character.
228
00:13:41,889 --> 00:13:44,724
You know I love
Eddie winslow.
229
00:13:44,791 --> 00:13:49,396
I think I'm going to have
To have a little talk
With him.
230
00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:52,499
Now, baby girl,
Why don't you go
And fix your face?
231
00:13:52,565 --> 00:13:56,436
Why does everybody
Keep telling me
To do that?
232
00:13:59,706 --> 00:14:01,942
Excuse me, edward.
Uh-huh.
233
00:14:02,009 --> 00:14:03,476
Take your time.
234
00:14:07,847 --> 00:14:13,386
Son, I'm gonna give you
$10,000 right now
235
00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:16,056
To get your yankee butt
Up on a plane.
236
00:14:16,123 --> 00:14:19,192
Ooh, sir, I really
Wish I could,
237
00:14:19,259 --> 00:14:21,694
But, uh, you see,
I made a promise
To god
238
00:14:21,761 --> 00:14:24,197
That I would escort
Myrtle to this ball
Tonight.
239
00:14:24,264 --> 00:14:27,901
We just gonna have
To see about that,
Won't we?
240
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:29,136
[laughs]
241
00:14:29,202 --> 00:14:31,038
Step out my way, boy.
242
00:14:38,245 --> 00:14:41,781
Ooh, there goes that
Uppity sara sue.
243
00:14:41,848 --> 00:14:44,584
We hate
Each other's guts.
244
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:46,987
Yoo-hoo, sara sue!
245
00:14:48,388 --> 00:14:52,859
Oh, well,
Myrtle mae urkel.
246
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,562
Only you would show up
To the social event
Of the season
247
00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,364
Looking like that.
248
00:14:57,430 --> 00:15:01,168
Well, I was hit by
A sport utility vehicle.
249
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,036
What's your excuse?
250
00:15:03,103 --> 00:15:07,374
You have absolutely
No breeding whatsoever.
251
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:09,176
You see,
That's the difference
252
00:15:09,242 --> 00:15:11,211
Between old money
And new money.
253
00:15:11,278 --> 00:15:13,113
Oh, how true,
How true!
254
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,115
Old money
Has more wrinkles.
255
00:15:15,182 --> 00:15:16,916
Oh!
256
00:15:18,952 --> 00:15:20,420
Good one, myrtle.
257
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:27,860
Hey, dad.
258
00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,562
Hey.
259
00:15:29,629 --> 00:15:31,598
Want some cake?
260
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,166
No. No, thanks.
261
00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:35,202
But it's double fudge.
262
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,438
Laura,
I'm not hungry.
263
00:15:41,441 --> 00:15:43,076
Dad, can I talk to you
About something?
264
00:15:43,143 --> 00:15:45,145
Mm-hmm. Sure.
Have a seat.
265
00:15:49,649 --> 00:15:53,153
Look, I can take it
When you're angry with me
266
00:15:53,220 --> 00:15:54,921
Or when you're
Grouchy with me
267
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:56,089
Or even when
You yell at me,
268
00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,757
But I just
Cannot take it
269
00:15:57,824 --> 00:15:59,426
When you're
Disappointed in me.
270
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:03,863
Daddy, I'm sorry
I wore that dress
To the sizzle club.
271
00:16:03,930 --> 00:16:05,532
But I'm 20,
And I feel like
272
00:16:05,598 --> 00:16:08,001
I should be able to wear
Any dress I want to.
273
00:16:08,068 --> 00:16:11,238
But, sweetheart,
You intentionally
Lied to me,
274
00:16:11,304 --> 00:16:13,206
And then you went
Behind my back.
275
00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,942
But I really wanted
To wear that dress.
276
00:16:16,009 --> 00:16:18,911
You're a beautiful
Young lady.
277
00:16:18,978 --> 00:16:20,547
And if you wear
That dress,
278
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:23,750
You might not
Get the respect
That you deserve.
279
00:16:26,853 --> 00:16:28,855
I never thought of it
That way.
280
00:16:28,921 --> 00:16:32,159
Sweetheart, you're
A young adult now.
281
00:16:32,225 --> 00:16:35,628
But if you
Want to be treated
Like a young adult,
282
00:16:35,695 --> 00:16:37,764
You're going
To have to start
Acting like one.
283
00:16:39,699 --> 00:16:42,102
You're actually beginning
To think of me as an adult?
284
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:45,072
I'm trying.
285
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,410
But an adult would
Have stayed to talk
Out our problem.
286
00:16:50,477 --> 00:16:52,479
You're right.
287
00:16:52,545 --> 00:16:56,349
So you're saying
If I wear something
You don't approve of,
288
00:16:56,416 --> 00:16:59,319
We can talk about it,
And you might be willing
To bend a little?
289
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:03,956
Yeah, I'll bend
A little,
290
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:05,792
But I'm not
Willing to break.
291
00:17:05,858 --> 00:17:07,994
Well, thanks, dad.
292
00:17:08,061 --> 00:17:10,597
I'll do a little
Bending myself.
293
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:13,066
Come over here
And give me a kiss.
Come on!
294
00:17:23,810 --> 00:17:25,878
Our next biloxi belle
295
00:17:25,945 --> 00:17:28,548
Is miss sara sue
Pettyjohn.
296
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:31,818
[fanfare plays]
297
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:34,221
Hello, gentle people.
298
00:17:34,287 --> 00:17:37,023
I am just so tickled
To be here.
299
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:38,491
[sighs]
300
00:17:38,558 --> 00:17:41,128
I am presently
Attending lsu,
301
00:17:41,194 --> 00:17:43,963
Majoring in both pre-med
And pre-law
302
00:17:44,030 --> 00:17:46,166
And my goal--
303
00:17:46,233 --> 00:17:48,568
Is to be an extra
On baywatch.
304
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:58,611
I now present
Miss myrtle mae urkel.
305
00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:01,814
[playing
Call to the post]
306
00:18:11,023 --> 00:18:13,826
Hi, y'all. My name
Is myrtle mae urkel,
307
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,195
And I attend but--
308
00:18:15,262 --> 00:18:18,131
The biloxi university
Of technology.
309
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,868
And my major is in
Animal husbandry
310
00:18:21,934 --> 00:18:24,671
With a minor
In public speaking.
311
00:18:24,737 --> 00:18:26,473
[laughs and snorts]
312
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:31,278
Oh, I've been dreaming
Of this moment
313
00:18:31,344 --> 00:18:33,713
Ever since I was an itty bitty
Bitty bitty girl.
314
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:37,184
And to be escorted
By my prince charming--
315
00:18:37,250 --> 00:18:38,451
Edward winslow--
316
00:18:38,518 --> 00:18:40,853
Is just gravy
On my biscuits.
317
00:18:46,359 --> 00:18:47,760
Oh, edward.
318
00:18:49,095 --> 00:18:52,799
Thank you. Thank you.
Whoo! Ooh! Ooh!
319
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,803
Aah!
320
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:05,212
Oh. Oh, I'm
So embarrassed!
321
00:19:05,278 --> 00:19:08,215
Oh, edward,
Do you think
Anyone noticed?
322
00:19:09,482 --> 00:19:11,851
Oh, oh,
Watch my corsage!
323
00:19:14,521 --> 00:19:17,257
Look what you have
Done to my dress,
324
00:19:17,324 --> 00:19:19,359
You uncouth,
Clumsy clown!
325
00:19:19,426 --> 00:19:22,229
You are
Totally unsuitable
To be a debutante,
326
00:19:22,295 --> 00:19:24,564
Not to mention,
You're just
Downright icky!
327
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,868
Well, at least
My boobs are level.
328
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,474
I want you out of here
This very moment,
329
00:19:34,541 --> 00:19:38,711
While the--while
The magnolia ballroom
Is still intact.
330
00:19:38,778 --> 00:19:40,813
Leave?
331
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,515
Now, I may have
Caused a bit
Of a commotion,
332
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:45,718
But as you can see,
I am somewhat incapacitated.
333
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:48,421
And I may be
A lot of things,
334
00:19:48,488 --> 00:19:50,923
But I certainly
Am not icky.
335
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,093
Does anybody else here
Think I'm icky?
336
00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:55,695
Everybody: yes!
337
00:19:57,830 --> 00:19:59,165
Well, I can take a hint.
338
00:19:59,232 --> 00:20:01,468
Big daddy!
339
00:20:02,869 --> 00:20:03,903
Come on, baby girl.
340
00:20:03,970 --> 00:20:05,505
Myrtle, wait! Wait!
341
00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:09,476
Now listen, everybody.
342
00:20:09,542 --> 00:20:12,645
Myrtle has waited
Her whole life
For this evening.
343
00:20:12,712 --> 00:20:13,680
And nothing,
344
00:20:13,746 --> 00:20:16,283
Nothing would stop her
From being here,
345
00:20:16,349 --> 00:20:18,150
Not even getting hit
By a car.
346
00:20:18,217 --> 00:20:20,687
An explorer.
A big sucker, too.
347
00:20:22,955 --> 00:20:26,793
Now, she pushed me out
Of the way of that car
And saved my life.
348
00:20:26,859 --> 00:20:29,796
How many of you
Would have done the same
For a friend, huh?
349
00:20:31,898 --> 00:20:33,733
It shows courage,
350
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:37,236
Class, and sacrifice.
351
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:39,639
Myrtle deserves
To be here.
352
00:20:39,706 --> 00:20:42,609
And there's
Absolutely no way
That we're leaving.
353
00:20:42,675 --> 00:20:44,944
In fact...
354
00:20:47,113 --> 00:20:49,549
Miss myrtle mae urkel--
355
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:52,552
I can't believe
I'm saying this.
356
00:20:58,224 --> 00:20:59,892
Would you honor me
With a dance?
357
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:02,729
Oh, take me, edward.
Oh!
358
00:21:03,896 --> 00:21:06,633
[orchestra plays
The blue danube waltz]
359
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,451
[plays harmonica]
360
00:21:24,517 --> 00:21:27,554
* I'm a peanut farmer *
361
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:30,256
* the best around *
362
00:21:30,323 --> 00:21:32,625
* I got to show 'em to ya *
363
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:34,961
* but they're all underground *
364
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,597
* I got that,
Uh, feeling funky *
365
00:21:37,664 --> 00:21:39,599
* getting down
And spunky *
366
00:21:39,666 --> 00:21:41,334
* creamy, smooth,
And chunky *
367
00:21:41,401 --> 00:21:43,202
* peanut butter blues *
368
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:45,405
Take it, boy!
369
00:21:45,472 --> 00:21:48,307
* I got
The peanut butter *
370
00:21:48,375 --> 00:21:51,378
* but you ain't
Got no bread *
371
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,312
* I wish you hadn't
Told me that *
372
00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,715
* I'm gonna knock you
Up side your head *
373
00:21:55,782 --> 00:21:58,385
* I got that,
Uh, feeling funky *
374
00:21:58,451 --> 00:22:00,353
* getting down
And spunky *
375
00:22:00,420 --> 00:22:02,254
* creamy, smooth,
And chunky *
376
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,390
* peanut butter blues *
377
00:22:03,456 --> 00:22:05,358
One more time,
Boy, come on.
378
00:22:05,425 --> 00:22:07,794
* I got that,
Uh, feeling funky *
379
00:22:07,860 --> 00:22:09,696
* getting down
And spunky *
380
00:22:09,762 --> 00:22:11,531
* creamy, smooth,
And chunky *
381
00:22:11,598 --> 00:22:13,600
* peanut butter blues *
382
00:22:13,666 --> 00:22:15,468
Give it up, boy.
Go ahead!
26510
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