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1
00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,008
[doorbell rings]
2
00:00:15,883 --> 00:00:17,085
Hi, stevie.
3
00:00:17,151 --> 00:00:18,352
Hi, myra.
4
00:00:18,419 --> 00:00:20,754
Oh, come on in,
My little cheese nip.
5
00:00:24,458 --> 00:00:26,527
Uh...Stevie.
6
00:00:26,594 --> 00:00:28,862
Did the latin club steal
Your clothes again?
7
00:00:28,929 --> 00:00:31,199
Oh, no, not this time.
8
00:00:31,265 --> 00:00:35,736
No. I'm still searching
For my...New look.
9
00:00:35,803 --> 00:00:38,972
The...Perfect look
For me.
10
00:00:39,039 --> 00:00:42,110
Well--ha ha--
Keep searching.
11
00:00:42,176 --> 00:00:44,078
Well, what's the matter?
12
00:00:44,145 --> 00:00:46,180
Grunge look doesn't work
For the urk-man?
13
00:00:46,247 --> 00:00:50,718
No. It doesn't reveal enough
Of your bodacious bod.
14
00:00:53,020 --> 00:00:55,189
You know how much
I enjoy looking
15
00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:58,058
At your boom-ba-da-
Boom-boom buns.
16
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:04,198
Myra, please! Leave my
Boom-ba-da-boom-booms
Out of this.
17
00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:07,735
Come on. Give mama
What she wants.
18
00:01:15,209 --> 00:01:17,811
Boom-ba-da-boom-boom.
19
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,849
Whoo!
20
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:42,069
Laura! Let's get
To the sizzle club
21
00:01:42,136 --> 00:01:43,671
Before all the guys
Are snatched up
22
00:01:43,737 --> 00:01:45,673
By the hoochie mamas!
23
00:01:47,141 --> 00:01:48,609
Sorry, girl.
24
00:01:49,843 --> 00:01:52,780
I just wanted to check out
Myself from all angles.
25
00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,715
And that takes
5 mirrors.
26
00:01:54,782 --> 00:01:58,419
Wow. Those fake diamond
Earrings look terrific.
27
00:01:58,486 --> 00:02:01,322
Thanks,
But they're not fake.
They're my mother's.
28
00:02:01,389 --> 00:02:02,990
And she
Loaned them to you?
29
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,258
Well, she would have...
30
00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,859
If I had asked.
31
00:02:07,127 --> 00:02:08,562
Uh-oh.
32
00:02:08,629 --> 00:02:11,832
Well, she wasn't home,
So I just pretended
To ask.
33
00:02:11,899 --> 00:02:14,635
And then you just pretended
That she said yes.
34
00:02:14,702 --> 00:02:18,005
Pretend conversations
Always turn out good
For me.
35
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,440
Don't worry.
36
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,775
I'll put them back before
She even knows they're gone.
37
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:24,678
Oh, listen, if you see
Any guys looking at me
38
00:02:24,745 --> 00:02:26,547
With that mean,
Dangerous stare...
39
00:02:26,614 --> 00:02:27,415
Yeah?
40
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:28,882
Girl, point 'em out
To me!
41
00:02:28,949 --> 00:02:30,484
Alright.
42
00:02:54,575 --> 00:02:59,613
* happy birthday to me *
43
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:07,521
* happy birthday to me *
44
00:03:10,991 --> 00:03:13,827
* happy birthday *
45
00:03:13,894 --> 00:03:18,232
* dear stevie who we love
And adore and admire *
46
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:24,438
* happy birthday *
47
00:03:24,505 --> 00:03:28,709
* to me *
48
00:03:35,249 --> 00:03:37,451
[toot]
49
00:03:44,191 --> 00:03:46,460
Oh. Hi, steve.
50
00:03:46,527 --> 00:03:47,695
Sure.
51
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,768
Hey...
52
00:03:54,835 --> 00:03:56,169
Wait a minute.
53
00:03:56,236 --> 00:03:57,538
Yes? Yes? Yes?
54
00:03:57,605 --> 00:03:59,607
Is that the last cupcake?
55
00:04:02,142 --> 00:04:04,077
No! There's plenty more.
56
00:04:04,144 --> 00:04:05,646
Oh, good.
57
00:04:05,713 --> 00:04:08,449
But there's only one day
You turn 20.
58
00:04:10,551 --> 00:04:12,019
Steve!
59
00:04:13,754 --> 00:04:16,757
Is--is today your birthday?
60
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,158
No!
61
00:04:18,225 --> 00:04:19,627
There was a blackout,
And I just decided
62
00:04:19,693 --> 00:04:22,630
To read by the light
Of a cupcake!
63
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:29,002
Gee, I'm...
64
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,604
I'm sorry, steve.
65
00:04:30,671 --> 00:04:33,106
But I had to work
A double shift today,
66
00:04:33,173 --> 00:04:34,808
And I guess I just forgot.
67
00:04:34,875 --> 00:04:38,178
Yeah. So did the rest
Of the civilized world.
68
00:04:38,245 --> 00:04:40,348
Everybody forgot.
69
00:04:40,414 --> 00:04:42,383
Let's face it, carl,
70
00:04:42,450 --> 00:04:43,684
I am not loved.
71
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,320
Oh, oh, now,
That is not true.
72
00:04:46,387 --> 00:04:48,456
Steve, we all--
[stammering]
73
00:04:52,059 --> 00:04:53,994
We all l-l-l-l...
74
00:04:55,529 --> 00:04:57,531
L-l-l-love you.
75
00:04:59,266 --> 00:05:02,202
Do you love me enough to
Stay up late with me and
Play twister all night?
76
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,171
No way!
77
00:05:04,237 --> 00:05:05,973
But I'll tell you
What I will do.
78
00:05:06,039 --> 00:05:08,842
This weekend, you and I will
Spend some time together.
79
00:05:10,378 --> 00:05:11,379
You really mean it?
80
00:05:11,445 --> 00:05:13,381
Sure. Just the two of us.
81
00:05:13,447 --> 00:05:17,250
You mean...Side by side?
Together? Face to face?
82
00:05:17,317 --> 00:05:19,319
No walkie-talkies?
83
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,289
No walkie-talkies.
84
00:05:22,356 --> 00:05:24,024
Pinkie swear!
85
00:05:24,792 --> 00:05:26,460
Pinkie swear.
86
00:05:26,527 --> 00:05:28,662
Well, come on.
Wiggle it.
87
00:05:34,067 --> 00:05:36,269
Oh, carl...
88
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,873
You are the best big bud
In the whole world!
89
00:05:39,940 --> 00:05:41,809
Well...
90
00:05:51,118 --> 00:05:54,054
Here, you go ahead
And keep that one.
I'll get a fresh one.
91
00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:00,628
Girl, you are crazy.
92
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:03,997
I still can't believe
That tommy williams
Asked me out!
93
00:06:04,064 --> 00:06:06,500
Well, there were only
Two women left at the club,
94
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,469
And I had already
Told him no.
95
00:06:08,536 --> 00:06:11,304
Thanks a lot.
96
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:12,506
Girl, I--hey!
97
00:06:12,573 --> 00:06:14,241
What happened
To your other earring?
98
00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:15,409
Girl, don't even play,
99
00:06:15,476 --> 00:06:18,846
'cause if I lost
My mother's--eek! Eek!
100
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,081
Oh, no.
101
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:23,316
My mother's earring!
My mother's diamond
Earring!
102
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:26,019
It's--it's gon--
It's gone!
103
00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,822
Nice knowing you.
104
00:06:28,889 --> 00:06:31,024
Maybe somebody
Found it at the club.
105
00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,896
Hey, maybe you lost it
While you were doing this.
106
00:06:43,637 --> 00:06:46,440
Maybe you'll lose it
When I do this.
107
00:06:49,309 --> 00:06:51,244
Uh, yes, hi.
This is laura winslow.
108
00:06:51,311 --> 00:06:52,846
Yeah, yeah,
I know you're closed,
109
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:56,416
But did anyone happen to
Find a diamond earring
There tonight?
110
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:57,585
What's he saying?
111
00:06:57,651 --> 00:06:59,119
Well,
He's still laughing.
112
00:07:00,688 --> 00:07:04,091
What am I gonna do?
That earring is worth
$500.
113
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:06,627
Can you replace it
Before your mom finds out?
114
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:10,664
Yes! Yeah, I can just,
Um, work overtime
At ferguson's
115
00:07:10,731 --> 00:07:12,600
Until I save enough money
To buy another one.
116
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:14,234
Problem solved.
117
00:07:14,301 --> 00:07:15,603
Yeah.
118
00:07:15,669 --> 00:07:17,437
But in the meantime,
I just gotta hope and pray
119
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:19,873
My father doesn't take
My mother anyplace fancy.
120
00:07:19,940 --> 00:07:23,443
Knowin' your father,
You've got a good shot.
121
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:30,450
[doorbell rings]
122
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:33,854
[ring]
123
00:07:36,356 --> 00:07:37,491
Hello, winslow.
124
00:07:37,558 --> 00:07:40,594
Oh! Commissioner geiss.
What a surprise.
125
00:07:40,661 --> 00:07:42,329
Hope you don't mind
My dropping by unannounced.
126
00:07:42,395 --> 00:07:43,697
Oh, no, no, no.
Come on in.
127
00:07:43,764 --> 00:07:45,966
Oh, thank you,
Thank you, thank you.
128
00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:49,903
Well, winslow,
I'll tell you one thing
129
00:07:49,970 --> 00:07:51,404
After looking
Around this house.
130
00:07:51,471 --> 00:07:52,640
What's that, sir?
131
00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:54,775
You are definitely
Not on the take.
132
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:58,546
That's a joke, winslow.
Chill out.
133
00:07:59,780 --> 00:08:02,015
And a good one, too, sir.
134
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:04,985
Winslow...Have you ever
Been duck hunting?
135
00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,654
No, sir, no.
Well, me, neither,
136
00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,956
But my son
Has just given me
A commemorative shotgun
137
00:08:09,022 --> 00:08:10,691
To celebrate my 40 years
On the force.
138
00:08:10,758 --> 00:08:12,459
Well, congratulations, sir.
139
00:08:12,526 --> 00:08:13,927
Well, I'd kind of like
To break the gun in.
140
00:08:13,994 --> 00:08:16,029
I thought
I'd take a little drive
Up to lake lenore,
141
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,097
Bag a few birds.
142
00:08:17,164 --> 00:08:18,431
Oh, I'd love to, sir!
143
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:19,967
And I want to tell you
144
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,202
That I am honored
That you would choose me.
145
00:08:22,269 --> 00:08:24,404
Oh, come on. You're fun
To pal around with.
146
00:08:24,471 --> 00:08:25,539
Oh, thank you, sir.
147
00:08:25,606 --> 00:08:27,074
Besides,
My car's in the shop.
148
00:08:33,046 --> 00:08:34,982
[groaning]
149
00:08:37,150 --> 00:08:40,788
Ah...Yeah. Oh, yeah.
150
00:08:40,854 --> 00:08:43,156
Hidey-ho, outdoorsman.
151
00:08:44,992 --> 00:08:48,061
Steve? What are
You doing up?
152
00:08:48,128 --> 00:08:51,632
Oh, I'm ready
For lake lenore and
A day of shooting ducks.
153
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,305
How did you find out
I was going hunting?
154
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,573
Oh, you told eddo.
155
00:08:59,640 --> 00:09:01,508
And eddo and I have
A standing arrangement.
156
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:02,843
I pay him
10 bucks a month
157
00:09:02,910 --> 00:09:05,145
To keep me informed
About what you're doing.
158
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,015
That's terrible!
159
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:10,884
You think that's bad,
I give him 15 a month
For laura.
160
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,321
Gouger.
161
00:09:14,387 --> 00:09:15,656
Well, I'm sorry, steve,
162
00:09:15,723 --> 00:09:17,224
But you just cannot
Come along today.
163
00:09:17,290 --> 00:09:19,192
It's just gonna be
Me and my boss.
164
00:09:19,259 --> 00:09:22,229
But it's the weekend,
And you promised we could
Hang out together.
165
00:09:22,295 --> 00:09:26,834
Well, I know, but we're
Just going to have to
Hang out next weekend.
166
00:09:26,900 --> 00:09:30,137
But, carl, I've been
Waitin' all week for this!
167
00:09:30,203 --> 00:09:32,272
I had my little urkel heart
Set on it.
168
00:09:32,339 --> 00:09:34,174
I even bought gobs of film.
169
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:40,047
Well, look, steve,
I am very, very sorry...
170
00:09:40,113 --> 00:09:42,315
But you just cannot
Come along today.
171
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,854
I see.
172
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,590
Apparently your promises
Are like a cheap, flimsy bra
On myra.
173
00:09:51,825 --> 00:09:54,327
It's a nice thought,
But it just doesn't hold up.
174
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:10,310
Okay, steve...You can go.
175
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,780
Yes! Thanks, big guy!
176
00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:21,655
But, you know,
It gets pretty cold
Up at lake lenore.
177
00:10:21,722 --> 00:10:24,725
So you bettah
Get a sweatah.
178
00:10:28,161 --> 00:10:30,130
Good idea.
179
00:10:31,832 --> 00:10:34,234
One sweater comin'
Right up.
180
00:10:44,044 --> 00:10:44,978
Alright.
181
00:10:45,045 --> 00:10:47,447
Here we go. I'm ready.
182
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:49,917
[car starting]
183
00:10:49,983 --> 00:10:51,351
Carl?
184
00:10:55,789 --> 00:10:57,991
Hey, car--
[tires screeching]
185
00:10:59,526 --> 00:11:01,929
Hey, carl! Carl!
186
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,197
Don't turn up the radio!
You hear me callin' you!
187
00:11:04,264 --> 00:11:05,899
Carl!
188
00:11:20,781 --> 00:11:22,783
Ahh...Boy.
189
00:11:22,850 --> 00:11:25,385
You know, sir,
I gotta tell you,
190
00:11:25,452 --> 00:11:28,722
That is one
Beautiful shotgun
Your son gave you.
191
00:11:28,789 --> 00:11:30,023
Oh, thank you, winslow.
192
00:11:30,090 --> 00:11:31,992
You can see here,
This is a special edition,
193
00:11:32,059 --> 00:11:33,693
Limited
John wayne model.
194
00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:37,697
[as john wayne] well,
Your son has excellent
Taste, pilgrim.
195
00:11:39,032 --> 00:11:39,900
Huh?
196
00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:41,468
It's a joke...
Commissioner.
197
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,003
Oh. Oh. Ha ha ha.
198
00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,972
Next time, warn me,
Will ya?
199
00:11:52,079 --> 00:11:55,582
Well, the ducks
Should be showing up
Any minute now.
200
00:11:55,648 --> 00:11:57,584
Yes, sir.
201
00:11:57,650 --> 00:11:59,953
Hey, I think
I see something.
202
00:12:00,020 --> 00:12:01,789
Commissioner: what?
203
00:12:02,455 --> 00:12:03,490
Carl: aah!
204
00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:04,858
What? What? What?
205
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,727
Yoo-hoo! Big guy!
206
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,329
Steve!
207
00:12:09,396 --> 00:12:11,932
Whoo...Chilly.
208
00:12:15,602 --> 00:12:18,605
Listen, carl, you'd
Better get yourself
A new rearview mirror.
209
00:12:18,671 --> 00:12:22,009
I was behind you
For miles, and you
Never saw me once!
210
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:24,577
Who is that?
211
00:12:24,644 --> 00:12:26,479
His name is
Steve urkel, sir.
212
00:12:26,546 --> 00:12:28,181
He's a friend of mine.
213
00:12:30,083 --> 00:12:31,084
Oof!
214
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:33,720
What, are you
Gettin' in here?
215
00:12:33,787 --> 00:12:36,924
Get in. Come on.
Get in the boat.
216
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,263
Would you get
In the boat?!
217
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,731
Wait! Ow! Wait!
218
00:12:44,798 --> 00:12:46,166
Give me a leg!
219
00:12:47,534 --> 00:12:49,970
Get up--come down here.
220
00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,472
Gotcha! Alright,
Here we go.
221
00:12:52,539 --> 00:12:54,474
Come on.
Give me your hand.
222
00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:57,744
Up, up, up, up.
That's it.
223
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,212
Okay. In the boat--
224
00:12:59,279 --> 00:13:00,914
Aaah!
225
00:13:10,157 --> 00:13:11,892
Oh, no! He's back again.
226
00:13:11,959 --> 00:13:13,927
Put your legs up here.
227
00:13:13,994 --> 00:13:15,328
Give me your legs!
Give me your legs!
228
00:13:15,395 --> 00:13:17,197
Wait! Wait! Wait!
229
00:13:17,264 --> 00:13:18,531
Wait a minute!
230
00:13:18,598 --> 00:13:20,200
Wait--no, steve!
231
00:13:20,267 --> 00:13:22,102
Wait a minute!
232
00:13:22,169 --> 00:13:23,803
Holy cow!
233
00:13:23,871 --> 00:13:24,838
Hold on!
234
00:13:24,905 --> 00:13:26,139
You're alright--
235
00:13:28,108 --> 00:13:29,076
Whew!
236
00:13:29,142 --> 00:13:31,845
Well...That was easy.
237
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:56,436
Anybody else want
To dunk their hat?
238
00:14:05,312 --> 00:14:07,114
Yeah!
239
00:14:09,582 --> 00:14:11,184
I can't believe this.
240
00:14:11,251 --> 00:14:13,453
We have not seen
One duck.
241
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,890
Well, maybe they're not
Flyin' south this winter.
242
00:14:16,957 --> 00:14:18,992
Maybe they're
Takin' the train.
243
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:23,030
That's a joke, winslow.
244
00:14:23,096 --> 00:14:25,632
Oh! The train!
Oh--ha ha ha ha!
245
00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,735
The train!
Ha ha ha ha!
246
00:14:28,801 --> 00:14:30,971
I tell ya,
I'm cryin' here!
247
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:34,908
Ha ha!
Isn't that funny?
248
00:14:34,975 --> 00:14:37,510
[forcing a laugh]
249
00:14:50,090 --> 00:14:51,925
Laura, honey...
250
00:14:52,525 --> 00:14:53,994
Whoo!
251
00:14:54,061 --> 00:14:55,695
How do I look?
Whoo-hoo!
252
00:14:55,762 --> 00:14:56,964
Be honest now.
253
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,165
You look great.
254
00:14:58,231 --> 00:15:00,233
Hah. That's the kind
Of honesty I like.
255
00:15:01,534 --> 00:15:02,702
What's the occasion?
256
00:15:02,769 --> 00:15:03,971
Well, muriel at work
Is retiring,
257
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,738
And we're taking her
Out to lunch.
258
00:15:05,805 --> 00:15:07,474
But, ma,
You hate muriel.
259
00:15:07,540 --> 00:15:09,542
I know. We're celebratin'.
260
00:15:11,478 --> 00:15:13,580
Oh! I forgot
My diamond earrings.
261
00:15:13,646 --> 00:15:15,949
Oh--oh--oh--oh--m-m...
262
00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,718
You don't want
To wear those.
263
00:15:18,785 --> 00:15:20,020
Why not?
264
00:15:20,087 --> 00:15:22,789
Why not?
Uh...Yeah...Uh...
265
00:15:22,855 --> 00:15:24,424
Oh, I know why.
266
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:27,827
Because, um,
That outfit screams...
267
00:15:27,894 --> 00:15:29,662
Pearls.
268
00:15:31,999 --> 00:15:33,366
I'd feel better in diamonds.
269
00:15:33,433 --> 00:15:36,203
Ma! Um...
270
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:39,906
Muriel cannot afford
Diamond earrings.
271
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:44,211
Do you really want
To rub your wealth
In her face like that?
272
00:15:46,313 --> 00:15:47,914
Ah, maybe you're right.
273
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:49,682
Oh, I know I'm right.
274
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,086
No, no, no, no, no!
275
00:15:53,153 --> 00:15:54,721
I'd feel better
In my diamond earrings.
276
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:58,025
I don't
Want you going into
Dangerous neighborhoods
277
00:15:58,091 --> 00:16:00,060
With those
Expensive earrings.
278
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,195
Laura, we're going
To the park carlton.
279
00:16:02,262 --> 00:16:04,797
We're going to be
In the crystal room.
280
00:16:04,864 --> 00:16:07,167
The crystal room.
Oh...Ma!
281
00:16:07,234 --> 00:16:10,003
That place is loaded
With gangbangers.
282
00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:13,873
Haven't you heard?
283
00:16:13,940 --> 00:16:15,642
They order escargot
284
00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:18,578
And then throw
The empty shells
At old people!
285
00:16:21,781 --> 00:16:25,152
I've made up my mind.
I'm wearing my diamond earrings.
286
00:16:25,552 --> 00:16:26,753
Ma!
287
00:16:28,055 --> 00:16:29,722
I got something
To tell you.
288
00:16:31,658 --> 00:16:33,293
I borrowed your earrings
A few nights ago
289
00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:35,495
And then I lost
One of them.
290
00:16:37,497 --> 00:16:38,798
This one?
291
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:40,300
Oh, my god!
292
00:16:40,367 --> 00:16:43,370
The manager
At the sizzle club
Called looking for you.
293
00:16:43,436 --> 00:16:47,040
Found your earring and was
Nice enough to return it.
294
00:16:47,107 --> 00:16:48,675
What a relief.
295
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:52,079
Laura...If you wanted
To borrow the earrings,
296
00:16:52,145 --> 00:16:54,147
Why didn't you just ask?
297
00:16:54,214 --> 00:16:56,116
Well,
You weren't around.
298
00:16:58,017 --> 00:16:59,752
Thought you
Might have said no.
299
00:17:01,188 --> 00:17:03,490
Ma, I'm sorry
I lost your earring.
300
00:17:03,556 --> 00:17:08,361
Laura...I'm not upset
About these earrings.
301
00:17:08,428 --> 00:17:12,099
I'm upset that
You kept it a secret.
302
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:13,433
I was just
So embarrassed.
303
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,168
I mean,
It was so stupid.
304
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:16,936
It's like
I was, like...
305
00:17:17,003 --> 00:17:19,506
5 years old
Or something.
306
00:17:19,572 --> 00:17:22,809
Honey...When you were
5 years old,
307
00:17:22,875 --> 00:17:25,545
You would tell me
Everything.
308
00:17:25,612 --> 00:17:27,480
You still can.
309
00:17:28,948 --> 00:17:30,049
Thanks, ma.
310
00:17:30,117 --> 00:17:31,484
No more secrets, okay?
311
00:17:31,551 --> 00:17:33,286
No more secrets.
312
00:17:35,822 --> 00:17:37,924
Oop! Got to go to lunch.
313
00:17:37,990 --> 00:17:39,926
Hey! Wait a minute.
314
00:17:39,992 --> 00:17:41,394
Isn't that my watch?
315
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:43,930
Yeah. Looks good
With this outfit,
Doesn't it?
316
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,532
Bye, baby.
317
00:17:53,140 --> 00:17:56,309
Hey. Is that a duck?
318
00:17:56,376 --> 00:17:58,878
No, sir.
It's an airplane.
319
00:17:58,945 --> 00:18:01,214
Aw, gee, I was hopin'
It was a duck.
320
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:07,520
Oh, well, if it's ducks you
Want, I can get ducks.
321
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:11,791
All I have to do is use
My super duck call.
322
00:18:11,858 --> 00:18:13,726
Commissioner: what?!
323
00:18:13,793 --> 00:18:15,128
Does that thing work?
324
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,363
Are you kiddin'?
325
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:17,730
A couple of toots
On this baby,
326
00:18:17,797 --> 00:18:20,333
And we'll be up
To our mukluks in ducks.
327
00:18:22,802 --> 00:18:25,138
[taking deep breath]
328
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:31,178
[exhaling]
329
00:18:33,780 --> 00:18:36,383
[taking deep breath]
330
00:18:36,449 --> 00:18:38,485
[quack]
331
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:39,852
[hordes of ducks quacking]
Hey! There they are!
332
00:18:39,919 --> 00:18:41,654
Look out! Look out!
Look out!
333
00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:44,657
[shotgun fires]
334
00:18:47,860 --> 00:18:49,996
Whoo!
335
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:51,198
Did you get one?
336
00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:52,265
No. Did you?
337
00:18:52,332 --> 00:18:54,234
Nothin'!
This gun is crap.
338
00:18:57,437 --> 00:19:00,139
Hey, steve,
Blow your duck horn again.
339
00:19:00,207 --> 00:19:01,808
I will not!
340
00:19:03,142 --> 00:19:05,245
I, for one, am glad
You didn't hit anything.
341
00:19:05,312 --> 00:19:08,715
I thought I could come
Out here with you guys
And be an observer,
342
00:19:08,781 --> 00:19:10,350
But this is barbaric.
343
00:19:10,417 --> 00:19:12,619
This is too cruel.
344
00:19:12,685 --> 00:19:14,221
Let's reload.
345
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:16,889
I can't just sit here
346
00:19:16,956 --> 00:19:19,592
While you maim and slaughter
Innocent little waterfowl.
347
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:22,695
Maim, slaughter, and bake
In a preheated oven.
348
00:19:25,365 --> 00:19:27,800
Carl, whispering:
Sir! Sir! Look! Look!
349
00:19:27,867 --> 00:19:30,370
Oh! She's all mine.
350
00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:33,440
Wait! Can you
Really do this?
351
00:19:33,506 --> 00:19:35,675
Look inside your heart
And see if you possess
352
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:38,578
The dark, evil ugliness
It takes to end a life.
353
00:19:38,645 --> 00:19:41,548
Can you really do
Such a horrible thing,
Commissioner?
354
00:19:41,614 --> 00:19:42,582
Yep.
355
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:43,916
Carl:
Sir! Wait! Wait!
What?
356
00:19:43,983 --> 00:19:45,718
Oh, my god!
She's a mother.
357
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,858
Urkel: oh, commissioner.
358
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:53,760
If you kill her now,
359
00:19:53,826 --> 00:19:56,696
You'll be sentencing
Her young to certain doom.
360
00:19:58,631 --> 00:20:00,867
Do you want to have that
On your conscience
361
00:20:00,933 --> 00:20:03,836
For the rest of your life?
362
00:20:03,903 --> 00:20:06,339
Do you want to hear
Their cute little cheeps
363
00:20:06,406 --> 00:20:09,709
In your dreams at night?
364
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:11,678
Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!
Cheep! Cheep!
365
00:20:14,146 --> 00:20:16,783
Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!
Cheep! Cheep! Cheep!
366
00:20:18,651 --> 00:20:19,919
I guess not.
367
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:24,457
Just to be on the safe side,
368
00:20:24,524 --> 00:20:26,993
Let's put away these guns.
369
00:20:27,059 --> 00:20:29,896
Well, okay.
Mine's empty, anyway.
370
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,799
Commissioner?
371
00:20:32,865 --> 00:20:34,033
Hey, now, wait a minute.
372
00:20:34,100 --> 00:20:35,868
You be real careful
With this, huh?
373
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,169
Trust me.
374
00:20:37,236 --> 00:20:38,805
I know what I'm doing.
375
00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:40,440
[shotgun fires]
376
00:21:07,800 --> 00:21:10,370
[sigh]
377
00:21:10,437 --> 00:21:14,006
Sorry I screwed up
Your day, big guy.
378
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:15,808
I'm gonna grab a shower.
379
00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:17,176
Hey, steve?
380
00:21:17,243 --> 00:21:18,545
Yeah?
381
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:20,847
I'm the one
That screwed up.
382
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,282
Well, what do you mean?
383
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:25,151
Well...
384
00:21:25,217 --> 00:21:26,285
You know, when
Commissioner geiss
385
00:21:26,353 --> 00:21:28,220
Asked me
To go duck hunting,
386
00:21:28,287 --> 00:21:30,289
Steve, I didn't
Really want to go.
387
00:21:30,357 --> 00:21:32,158
I'm not a big fan
Of hunting.
388
00:21:32,224 --> 00:21:34,461
So why did you say yes?
389
00:21:34,527 --> 00:21:38,498
Well...To suck up
To my boss.
390
00:21:40,900 --> 00:21:43,636
Not only did I set aside
My personal beliefs,
391
00:21:43,703 --> 00:21:47,306
But I also broke
My promise to spend
The day with you.
392
00:21:47,374 --> 00:21:48,975
Pretty shallow, huh?
393
00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:51,143
You're bein' too hard
On yourself, big guy.
394
00:21:51,210 --> 00:21:53,446
Well, no, I'm not.
395
00:21:53,513 --> 00:21:55,448
But I'll
Tell you what.
396
00:21:55,515 --> 00:21:59,552
Why don't you and I
Spend the day tomorrow,
Just like I promised?
397
00:21:59,619 --> 00:22:02,522
Just you and me,
Real quality time.
398
00:22:02,589 --> 00:22:07,827
Hey, any time with you,
Big guy, is quality time.
399
00:22:07,894 --> 00:22:09,362
Aw...
27186
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