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1
00:00:05,106 --> 00:00:07,741
Eddie! Just the guy
I wanted to see.
2
00:00:07,808 --> 00:00:09,243
Forget it, laura.
3
00:00:09,310 --> 00:00:12,346
I'm not goin' out with
Any of your skanky friends.
4
00:00:12,413 --> 00:00:14,882
What's that I hear?
Ah, yes.
5
00:00:14,948 --> 00:00:17,218
A sigh of relief
From all of my friends.
6
00:00:17,285 --> 00:00:18,952
Ha ha! She got ya, eddo!
7
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:20,721
She--um...
8
00:00:20,788 --> 00:00:22,356
What do you want, laura?
9
00:00:22,423 --> 00:00:24,792
Well, look,
My sorority's having
A charity fund-raiser.
10
00:00:24,858 --> 00:00:26,260
And we're
Getting hot guys
11
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,096
To auction off kisses
To the highest female
Bidder.
12
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:29,597
Stefan's gonna do it.
What about you?
13
00:00:29,663 --> 00:00:32,032
Oooh! I'm in! I'm in!
I'm in! I'm in!
14
00:00:32,100 --> 00:00:33,734
Well, well, well...
15
00:00:33,801 --> 00:00:35,303
Ha ha!
16
00:00:35,369 --> 00:00:37,538
Are you sayin'
I'm hot, laura?
17
00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,608
I know I'm here.
I recognize my voice.
18
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:42,042
I didn't...
19
00:00:42,110 --> 00:00:44,345
Come on, laura,
You're finally admitting
20
00:00:44,412 --> 00:00:48,082
That I belong
In the hot category.
21
00:00:48,149 --> 00:00:50,184
Hello, I'm here.
22
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,619
I'm saying...
23
00:00:51,685 --> 00:00:52,486
Eddie: uh-huh.
24
00:00:52,553 --> 00:00:53,854
That there are
Certain girls...
25
00:00:53,921 --> 00:00:55,089
Yes?
26
00:00:55,156 --> 00:00:56,424
Of low intelligence
And impaired eyesight
27
00:00:56,490 --> 00:00:58,726
Who have enough money
To bid on anything.
28
00:00:58,792 --> 00:01:00,328
You know I'm hot, laura.
29
00:01:00,394 --> 00:01:02,863
And these lips are
Gonna raise big money
For your sorority.
30
00:01:02,930 --> 00:01:04,798
And really...
31
00:01:04,865 --> 00:01:07,135
I'm here if you need me.
32
00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:09,470
That is, if you need
Any more hot guys.
33
00:01:11,139 --> 00:01:12,606
I have lips.
34
00:01:13,941 --> 00:01:15,443
My lips are sexy.
35
00:01:17,711 --> 00:01:20,414
Hmm. They're sexier
Than I thought.
36
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,321
[big band swing
Plays on boom box]
37
00:01:42,803 --> 00:01:43,804
Hi, honey.
38
00:01:43,871 --> 00:01:45,739
Hey, sweetheart.
39
00:01:45,806 --> 00:01:50,278
Guess what. I have
Such wonderful news,
I feel like dancing!
40
00:01:50,344 --> 00:01:52,813
Well, tell me what it is,
And we'll both dance.
41
00:01:52,880 --> 00:01:55,283
[music plays]
42
00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,017
Carl, I got a promotion!
43
00:01:57,084 --> 00:01:58,085
Hey!
44
00:01:58,152 --> 00:01:59,453
Congratulations!
45
00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,422
As of monday,
I'm gonna be the new buyer
46
00:02:01,489 --> 00:02:02,890
For the housewares department
At ferguson's!
47
00:02:02,956 --> 00:02:03,924
Whoo!
48
00:02:03,991 --> 00:02:05,493
Congratulations!
49
00:02:05,559 --> 00:02:09,197
And not only that,
I'm gonna be making
$6,000 more a year!
50
00:02:09,263 --> 00:02:12,600
Whoo! Congratulations!
51
00:02:18,071 --> 00:02:19,940
[turns music off]
52
00:02:20,007 --> 00:02:22,643
Harriette--heh heh heh...
53
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,745
You're gonna be makin'
More money than me.
54
00:02:24,812 --> 00:02:27,181
Oh, well,
That doesn't matter,
Does it?
55
00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,016
Oh, no! Heh heh heh.
56
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:30,851
Nah! Nah! Nah!
57
00:02:30,918 --> 00:02:33,221
No, no.
Congratulations.
58
00:02:34,655 --> 00:02:36,390
I need a shower.
59
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:43,631
Whee!
60
00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:56,644
Laura...Uh, earlier today,
61
00:02:56,710 --> 00:03:00,113
When you invited eddo
To participate
In your sorority auction,
62
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:04,785
Well, I couldn't help
But notice that
You didn't ask me.
63
00:03:04,852 --> 00:03:08,021
Ooh, uh...
Well, steve--
64
00:03:08,088 --> 00:03:10,057
Wait a minute.
Let me finish.
65
00:03:10,123 --> 00:03:12,693
Now, truth be told,
66
00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:15,195
I was devastated.
67
00:03:15,263 --> 00:03:16,397
I couldn't figure out
68
00:03:16,464 --> 00:03:19,132
Why you would try
To hurt my feelings.
69
00:03:19,199 --> 00:03:20,301
Well, see, I wasn't--
70
00:03:20,368 --> 00:03:23,304
Then...It hit me.
71
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:25,839
You weren't trying
To hurt my feelings.
72
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:28,909
You were trying
To spare my feelings.
73
00:03:28,976 --> 00:03:30,378
Right?
74
00:03:30,444 --> 00:03:31,912
Well, I was just afraid
75
00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,815
That if you were
In the auction
And no one bid on you,
76
00:03:34,882 --> 00:03:36,917
You might be humiliated.
77
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,386
And you were right.
78
00:03:38,452 --> 00:03:40,421
I would have been.
79
00:03:40,488 --> 00:03:42,956
But I want you
To invite me anyway.
80
00:03:43,023 --> 00:03:44,792
Why?
81
00:03:44,858 --> 00:03:48,228
Well, laura, I've always
Been comfortable
With myself,
82
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:50,331
But maybe it's time
I faced the fact
83
00:03:50,398 --> 00:03:52,566
That I could stand
A little improvement.
84
00:03:52,633 --> 00:03:54,835
You know, my voice,
My clothes.
85
00:03:54,902 --> 00:03:56,370
You know, steve,
86
00:03:56,437 --> 00:03:58,806
I have been suggesting
That for years.
87
00:03:58,872 --> 00:04:00,774
Often quite loudly.
88
00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,042
I know.
89
00:04:02,109 --> 00:04:04,378
And finally,
I'm gonna listen.
90
00:04:06,179 --> 00:04:08,248
Yep...
91
00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:11,685
No longer is it
"I gotta be me."
92
00:04:14,054 --> 00:04:16,557
From now on...
93
00:04:16,624 --> 00:04:18,926
It's "I gotta be better."
94
00:04:22,330 --> 00:04:23,564
That's good for you,
Steve.
95
00:04:23,631 --> 00:04:25,165
Mm-hmm.
96
00:04:25,232 --> 00:04:26,233
Goodnight.
97
00:04:26,300 --> 00:04:27,635
Mm-hmm.
98
00:04:30,738 --> 00:04:32,773
Yep...
99
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:34,442
I could be better.
100
00:04:41,148 --> 00:04:42,483
Hi, honey.
101
00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:43,384
Hi.
102
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:44,952
Want to celebrate
My promotion?
103
00:04:47,455 --> 00:04:49,523
Here. You do the honors.
104
00:04:50,591 --> 00:04:53,761
Mmm! Looks expensive.
105
00:04:53,827 --> 00:04:55,429
It is. A little.
106
00:04:55,496 --> 00:04:58,332
But I suppose we can
Afford it now,
107
00:04:58,399 --> 00:04:59,767
With your new promotion.
108
00:04:59,833 --> 00:05:01,969
Heh heh heh heh...
109
00:05:02,035 --> 00:05:05,473
Honey, I thought
We could snuggle up
Here on the couch,
110
00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:09,242
Sip a little bubbly,
And then...
Retire early.
111
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:11,745
Sweetheart, I...I, uh...
112
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:14,715
I can't open this champagne
If you're crawlin' all over me.
113
00:05:15,215 --> 00:05:16,316
Sorry.
114
00:05:16,384 --> 00:05:17,618
It's okay.
115
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,227
[sighs]
116
00:05:27,294 --> 00:05:30,030
Carl...
What's the matter?
117
00:05:34,201 --> 00:05:37,004
Well, harriette,
You want to know
What's the matter.
118
00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,473
Well, I'm gonna tell you
What's the matter.
119
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:42,342
You're emasculating me,
Harriette.
120
00:05:42,410 --> 00:05:44,111
Emasculating.
121
00:05:45,278 --> 00:05:46,680
What?
122
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,049
Just because I'm
Making more money
Than you, carl?
123
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:50,350
That's right.
124
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,520
Harriette, the person
Who makes the most money
125
00:05:52,586 --> 00:05:54,455
Wears the pants
In the family.
126
00:05:54,522 --> 00:05:57,891
Well...You're makin'
More money than me now.
127
00:05:57,958 --> 00:06:00,394
So you're gonna start
Wearin' the pants.
128
00:06:00,461 --> 00:06:02,696
Oh, look!
You already are!
129
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,067
This is absolutely
Ridiculous, honey.
130
00:06:07,134 --> 00:06:08,335
We're a team.
131
00:06:08,402 --> 00:06:09,470
Uh-uh!
No, no, no, no, no.
132
00:06:09,537 --> 00:06:11,204
No, sir!
133
00:06:11,271 --> 00:06:12,372
Uh-uh!
134
00:06:12,440 --> 00:06:14,341
Not team, harriette.
135
00:06:14,408 --> 00:06:15,843
Crew.
136
00:06:16,910 --> 00:06:18,546
Crew, harriette.
137
00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,914
And I was the captain
Of the crew.
138
00:06:24,418 --> 00:06:25,619
Oh, really?
139
00:06:25,686 --> 00:06:28,756
And what was I, carl,
The swabby?
140
00:06:28,822 --> 00:06:30,257
[sputtering]
141
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,892
Yeah!
142
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:39,366
An adored...Loved...
Precious...Swabby.
143
00:06:39,433 --> 00:06:41,502
But now...
144
00:06:41,569 --> 00:06:44,572
You're the captain,
Harriette.
145
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:47,040
New captain's goin' up
To her quarters.
146
00:06:48,876 --> 00:06:52,245
But until the new swabby
Learns the true meaning
Of teamwork...
147
00:06:52,312 --> 00:06:56,049
He's gonna be bunkin'
His butt down here
In the brig.
148
00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,635
Good evening,
Everyone.
149
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,270
Tonight's
Speech therapy class
150
00:07:17,337 --> 00:07:18,338
Will concentrate on--
151
00:07:18,405 --> 00:07:20,874
Hold it!
Hold it!
Hold it!
152
00:07:22,109 --> 00:07:23,977
Hah! Uno momento, doc.
153
00:07:24,044 --> 00:07:26,179
I just need a moment
To get sitch-I-tated.
154
00:07:28,248 --> 00:07:29,617
Let's see...
155
00:07:29,683 --> 00:07:31,084
We'll put that here.
156
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,385
Mm-hmm.
157
00:07:32,452 --> 00:07:33,787
Okay...
158
00:07:33,854 --> 00:07:34,855
My fan.
159
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,358
Mm-hmm...
160
00:07:38,425 --> 00:07:39,927
Cheese?
161
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,733
Okay, okay.
162
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,203
Okay...
163
00:07:50,270 --> 00:07:52,439
That's it.
164
00:07:52,506 --> 00:07:54,441
Hah!
165
00:07:54,508 --> 00:07:56,910
[grinding]
166
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,330
I'm ready.
167
00:08:17,397 --> 00:08:19,166
I'm dr. Grabowsky,
168
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:20,734
And I am living proof
169
00:08:20,801 --> 00:08:23,871
That the techniques you're
About to learn really work.
170
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,839
I used to have
A terrible stutter.
171
00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,108
Why, that's
Downright
Inspirational.
172
00:08:28,175 --> 00:08:31,178
Why don't we start by
Introducing ourselves
173
00:08:31,244 --> 00:08:32,646
And describing our problems?
174
00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:34,247
Uh, who'd like
To go first?
175
00:08:35,783 --> 00:08:37,150
[lisping]
Roy thimpthon.
176
00:08:39,286 --> 00:08:40,688
I have a lithp.
177
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:42,990
And on thecond thought,
178
00:08:43,056 --> 00:08:46,026
That cheethe
Doesth look tasthy...
179
00:08:46,994 --> 00:08:48,128
Ith it thwissth?
180
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:49,563
Is there any other kind?
181
00:08:49,630 --> 00:08:50,898
No, thir!
182
00:08:51,899 --> 00:08:53,433
["Popping" each "P"]
I'm pepe perez,
183
00:08:53,500 --> 00:08:54,501
And I...
184
00:08:54,568 --> 00:08:56,704
And I spit
When I speak.
185
00:09:04,745 --> 00:09:08,115
I'm irene elizabeth malligan and
All my friends say that I talk
Too fast but I don't think I
186
00:09:08,181 --> 00:09:12,953
Talk too fast and as a matter of
Fact if you ask me all my
Friends just listen too slow.
187
00:09:15,122 --> 00:09:17,490
[basso voice]
Well, I'm sheila rockport,
188
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,227
And my voice is too deep.
189
00:09:20,293 --> 00:09:23,597
Wow! I'd give anything
To have your voice.
190
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,966
Ha ha!
You can have it!
191
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:33,140
[loud music and cheering]
192
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:39,379
Wow!
193
00:09:39,446 --> 00:09:45,518
Alright, babes.
You guys give it up for
Miss rhonda richman everybody.
194
00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:47,054
You go girl!
195
00:09:47,120 --> 00:09:51,591
Alright! We've raised over $900
So far, ladies.
196
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,727
Give yourselves a hand for that.
197
00:09:53,794 --> 00:09:57,530
And we still got plenty of hot
Sexy men backstage
198
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:59,166
Waitin' to sell their kisses.
199
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:02,736
And remember
All the money we raise
Here tonight
200
00:10:02,803 --> 00:10:06,874
At the sizzle club will be
Donated by fata-beta
To the childrens hospital.
201
00:10:09,009 --> 00:10:10,878
And I'd also liek to take this
Oportunity--
202
00:10:10,944 --> 00:10:13,280
To bring out the hunks!
203
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,815
[cheering]
204
00:10:16,650 --> 00:10:18,518
Our next bachelor
205
00:10:18,585 --> 00:10:20,921
Is in this girl's
Humble opinion...
206
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,456
The coolest guy
In all of chicago.
207
00:10:23,523 --> 00:10:25,793
Please give it up
For the one...
208
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,961
The only...
Stefan urquelle!
209
00:10:28,028 --> 00:10:31,965
[music starts,
Audience cheers]
210
00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,576
[music stops]
211
00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:45,178
Ladies, ladies, ladies.
212
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:48,181
Now, this event is
For such a good cause
213
00:10:48,248 --> 00:10:50,984
That I wanted to make sure
I was ready.
214
00:10:51,051 --> 00:10:53,854
So laura and I have spent
The last 3 days
215
00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:55,588
Warming up
These lips.
216
00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,791
Yay!
Whoo!
217
00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,359
Since stefan is my guy,
218
00:10:59,426 --> 00:11:03,130
I want to open and close
The bidding at $50.
219
00:11:03,196 --> 00:11:04,597
60!
220
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,566
Whoo!
Whoo!
221
00:11:06,633 --> 00:11:09,302
See, miss thing,
You didn't understand.
222
00:11:09,369 --> 00:11:10,804
Stefan is my man.
223
00:11:10,871 --> 00:11:14,041
So we'll just close
The bidding at 65.
224
00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:15,308
70!
225
00:11:15,375 --> 00:11:17,577
Whoo!
226
00:11:17,644 --> 00:11:20,180
75!
227
00:11:20,247 --> 00:11:22,582
100!
228
00:11:22,649 --> 00:11:23,751
110!
229
00:11:23,817 --> 00:11:25,585
Yeah!
Yeah!
230
00:11:25,652 --> 00:11:27,154
111. Going once...
231
00:11:27,220 --> 00:11:28,255
Going twice...
232
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,622
150!
233
00:11:29,689 --> 00:11:31,959
Whoo!
Whoo!
234
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:35,228
Sold.
235
00:11:39,733 --> 00:11:41,501
Hello there,
And you are...
236
00:11:41,568 --> 00:11:43,871
Who cares? Kiss me!
237
00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,908
[music starts]
238
00:11:52,212 --> 00:11:54,181
[band stops]
239
00:11:55,248 --> 00:11:58,585
Uh-uh-uh!
Miss thing!
Miss--
240
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:00,921
That's more than
$150 worth.
241
00:12:00,988 --> 00:12:05,092
I'm gonna go home
And get some more money!
242
00:12:05,158 --> 00:12:07,727
[cheering]
243
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,666
Oh. Yes...Well,
Let's give a hand
244
00:12:13,733 --> 00:12:17,237
For the lovely lady
Who organized this event,
Laura winslow.
245
00:12:28,415 --> 00:12:29,917
Alright, ladies.
246
00:12:29,983 --> 00:12:34,021
Now, our next bachelor
Has been called
The prince of love.
247
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,823
Whoo...
Whoo... Whoo...
248
00:12:35,889 --> 00:12:37,057
Yeah, well,
249
00:12:37,124 --> 00:12:39,126
He's the only one
Who calls himself that.
250
00:12:39,192 --> 00:12:40,727
[laughter]
251
00:12:40,794 --> 00:12:43,130
Please give it up
For my brother...
252
00:12:43,196 --> 00:12:44,798
Eddie winslow.
253
00:12:44,865 --> 00:12:47,835
[band plays]
254
00:12:53,140 --> 00:12:55,843
[music stops]
Girl: aow!
255
00:12:55,909 --> 00:12:57,310
What are you doin'?
256
00:12:57,377 --> 00:12:59,446
[band starts again]
257
00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:05,953
[music stops]
258
00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,288
[shrieking and cheering]
259
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:12,125
Whoo!
260
00:13:12,192 --> 00:13:13,894
My name is eddie winslow,
261
00:13:13,961 --> 00:13:17,464
Better known
As the prince of love.
262
00:13:17,530 --> 00:13:19,199
That's right.
263
00:13:19,266 --> 00:13:20,467
Mm-hmm-hmm.
264
00:13:20,533 --> 00:13:21,568
And if you buy my kisses,
265
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:22,802
You'll feel like royalty.
266
00:13:22,870 --> 00:13:24,872
So, dig deep, ladies...
267
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,240
If you wanna swing
From these lips.
268
00:13:31,211 --> 00:13:33,113
I think out of courtesy
We should let
269
00:13:33,180 --> 00:13:35,615
Eddie's girlfriend greta
Make the first bid.
270
00:13:35,682 --> 00:13:38,218
Aww!
Aww! Aww!
271
00:13:38,285 --> 00:13:40,587
I'll give any girl
25 bucks
272
00:13:40,653 --> 00:13:42,622
To take him
Off my hands.
273
00:13:42,689 --> 00:13:44,057
[laughter]
274
00:13:44,124 --> 00:13:45,658
$25?!
275
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:47,527
I'll start the bidding
At 30.
276
00:13:49,562 --> 00:13:50,830
40!
277
00:13:50,898 --> 00:13:53,300
Whoo!
Whoo!
278
00:13:53,366 --> 00:13:55,468
45.
279
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:56,736
50!
280
00:13:56,803 --> 00:13:58,371
55!
281
00:13:58,438 --> 00:13:59,506
60!
282
00:13:59,572 --> 00:14:00,773
75!
283
00:14:00,840 --> 00:14:03,610
Alright,
75, ladies.
284
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:05,745
Going once...
285
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,214
Going twice...
286
00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:10,317
[soprano voice]
Stop!
287
00:14:10,383 --> 00:14:12,385
In the name of love.
288
00:14:15,923 --> 00:14:17,624
Oh, my god!
289
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,459
It's myrtle urkel.
290
00:14:19,526 --> 00:14:21,628
And me
Without my lysol.
291
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,001
Nice hairdo.
292
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:31,004
Somewhere there's
A baldheaded mannequin.
293
00:14:33,473 --> 00:14:34,841
Nice dress.
294
00:14:34,908 --> 00:14:36,944
Somewhere there's
A butt-naked clown.
295
00:14:37,010 --> 00:14:39,779
Alright!
Whoo-hoo!
296
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:41,681
Ghetto tramp.
297
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:42,849
Whoo!
Whoo! Whoo!
298
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:44,484
Hoochie mama!
299
00:14:47,687 --> 00:14:49,722
To win the right
To bust the lips
300
00:14:49,789 --> 00:14:53,326
Of that handsome
Slab of stud jerky,
301
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,929
I am prepared to bid
The sum of...
302
00:14:55,996 --> 00:14:59,199
$5,000!
303
00:14:59,266 --> 00:15:01,234
$5,000?!
304
00:15:01,301 --> 00:15:02,302
Sold.
305
00:15:02,369 --> 00:15:03,436
Laura!
306
00:15:03,503 --> 00:15:05,438
Girl, come up here
And get your kiss.
307
00:15:11,778 --> 00:15:13,280
Ooh, come on, edward,
Come on.
308
00:15:13,346 --> 00:15:15,983
Curl my toes
And straighten my hair!
309
00:15:22,722 --> 00:15:25,258
[music starts]
310
00:15:26,626 --> 00:15:28,428
Aoww!
311
00:15:28,495 --> 00:15:29,462
Aah!
312
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:30,563
Ohh!
313
00:15:30,630 --> 00:15:32,765
Whoo! Ohh!
314
00:15:32,832 --> 00:15:36,136
Well, that about knocked me
All the way back to biloxi.
315
00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,208
I want a second helping,
Handsome.
316
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:42,609
Eehhh...
317
00:15:42,675 --> 00:15:43,743
Uh-uh!
318
00:15:43,810 --> 00:15:45,645
No! The kitchen's
Closed!
319
00:15:51,818 --> 00:15:53,320
Harriette?
320
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,689
Harriette!
321
00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:58,525
Harriette!
322
00:15:58,591 --> 00:15:59,426
Shh! Shh!
323
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:01,661
You'll wake
The whole house, carl.
324
00:16:01,728 --> 00:16:05,265
Hey, sweetheart, would you
Come down for a second?
I'd like to talk to you.
325
00:16:05,332 --> 00:16:06,599
Come on.
326
00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,035
Come on.
To the left.
327
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:09,102
Straight ahead.
328
00:16:09,169 --> 00:16:11,271
Come on.
Work that walk there.
329
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:12,839
Park it
And leave the keys.
330
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:14,507
Come on. There you go.
331
00:16:14,574 --> 00:16:16,043
Heh heh.
332
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:19,112
"Concert parking"?
333
00:16:19,179 --> 00:16:21,614
Well, yeah.
This is my new extra job.
334
00:16:21,681 --> 00:16:23,316
I'm moonlighting.
335
00:16:23,383 --> 00:16:24,417
Oh, really?
336
00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:25,585
Yes, really.
337
00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,953
I am one of 25 folks
338
00:16:27,020 --> 00:16:28,921
Who gets to show you
Your parking spot
339
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:31,258
When you come to see
Tom jones.
340
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,794
* it's not unusual
To be loved by anyone *
341
00:16:34,861 --> 00:16:36,296
* boom ba-da-bom *
342
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:39,366
* it's not unusual to
Have fun with anyone *
343
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:40,733
Carl.
344
00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,202
There's a reason
Why tom sings
345
00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:44,204
And you park cars.
346
00:16:44,271 --> 00:16:46,139
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
347
00:16:46,206 --> 00:16:47,807
See, you don't
Understand.
348
00:16:47,874 --> 00:16:50,077
With my regular
Police salary
349
00:16:50,143 --> 00:16:52,545
And the money I make
From this cool new job,
350
00:16:52,612 --> 00:16:56,416
I now make $23.48
More a year than you.
351
00:16:56,483 --> 00:16:58,051
Ha hah!
352
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:02,021
Captain winslow
Is at the helm again!
353
00:17:03,490 --> 00:17:05,125
I see.
354
00:17:05,192 --> 00:17:07,860
Well, I guess
In that case...
355
00:17:07,927 --> 00:17:11,864
I should think about
Whether or not I want
To get off this ship.
356
00:17:11,931 --> 00:17:13,400
What...
357
00:17:13,466 --> 00:17:16,836
Maybe you can
Just drop me off
At the next port.
358
00:17:16,903 --> 00:17:18,671
Well, wait a minute,
Wait a minute.
359
00:17:18,738 --> 00:17:20,673
What are you
Talking about?
360
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:22,309
Carl...
361
00:17:22,375 --> 00:17:25,378
Our salaries should not be
A source of competition.
362
00:17:25,445 --> 00:17:27,480
We're supposed to be a team.
363
00:17:27,547 --> 00:17:29,782
Nobody's captain,
Nobody's swabby.
364
00:17:29,849 --> 00:17:30,983
Yeah, but...
365
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,086
Carl, we're supposed
To be first mates...
366
00:17:33,153 --> 00:17:34,687
Teammates.
367
00:17:40,593 --> 00:17:42,762
Well, you're right,
Sweetheart.
368
00:17:46,065 --> 00:17:47,767
We are a team.
369
00:17:49,068 --> 00:17:51,238
You for me
And me for you?
370
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:55,007
You're a pain
In the butt, carl.
371
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,009
[chuckling]
372
00:17:57,076 --> 00:17:59,011
But I'm your pain
In the butt.
373
00:17:59,078 --> 00:18:00,447
[chuckling]
374
00:18:02,149 --> 00:18:03,350
Alright.
375
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,518
Our next bachelor is...
376
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:09,156
Well, he's definitely
One of a kind.
377
00:18:09,222 --> 00:18:12,091
And he just recently
Gave himself a makeover.
378
00:18:12,159 --> 00:18:14,927
Please give it up
For mr. Steven q. Urkel.
379
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,397
[music and applause]
380
00:18:27,174 --> 00:18:29,309
[music stops]
381
00:18:36,283 --> 00:18:39,219
[speaking precisely]
Evening, ladies.
382
00:18:40,420 --> 00:18:42,422
As laura mentioned,
383
00:18:42,489 --> 00:18:45,225
I recently decided
To accept the fact
384
00:18:45,292 --> 00:18:50,263
That I have, well,
A few shortcomings.
385
00:18:52,299 --> 00:18:57,036
And my task has been
To turn those shortcomings
386
00:18:57,103 --> 00:19:00,240
Into long-goings.
387
00:19:00,307 --> 00:19:02,642
Long-goings?
Long-goings?
388
00:19:02,709 --> 00:19:03,676
So...
389
00:19:03,743 --> 00:19:06,946
I have ditched
My suspenders,
390
00:19:07,013 --> 00:19:10,350
Lowered my voice
A smidge...
391
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:15,355
And now
Let the bidding begin.
392
00:19:22,094 --> 00:19:23,363
Um...
393
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,831
Why don't we start
The bidding out
At $25?
394
00:19:24,897 --> 00:19:28,235
Yes, yes,
That is a good place
To start the bidding.
395
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:34,106
I--I mean
25 measly bucks?
396
00:19:34,173 --> 00:19:36,243
It's a tax write-off.
397
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:41,248
Alright...
398
00:19:42,349 --> 00:19:44,116
How about this?
399
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,319
Why don't we start
A little lower
400
00:19:46,386 --> 00:19:48,288
And then build
Our way back up?
401
00:19:48,355 --> 00:19:49,689
Yes, yes.
Alright.
402
00:19:49,756 --> 00:19:51,258
$5.00.
403
00:19:53,660 --> 00:19:55,728
Want to start
A little higher, laura?
404
00:19:57,364 --> 00:19:59,131
Oh, y'all, come on!
405
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:00,600
$5.00?!
406
00:20:03,236 --> 00:20:05,438
You spend more than that
On pantyhose!
407
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,843
Laura: anybody?
408
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,144
Please.
409
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:13,646
That's okay.
410
00:20:13,713 --> 00:20:14,581
Thank you.
411
00:20:14,647 --> 00:20:16,649
And...I'll be
Going now.
412
00:20:16,716 --> 00:20:17,750
Thank you.
413
00:20:21,521 --> 00:20:23,290
$100.
414
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,959
Going once...
415
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:32,131
Going twice...
416
00:20:32,198 --> 00:20:34,301
Going 3, 4, 5, 6, 7--
417
00:20:35,768 --> 00:20:37,870
Oh, who am I kidding?
Sold to me.
418
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:39,272
Come on over here.
419
00:20:43,810 --> 00:20:45,612
I want my kiss now.
420
00:20:47,614 --> 00:20:49,316
[squeaking]
You do?
421
00:20:50,283 --> 00:20:52,319
["New" voice]
You do?
422
00:20:58,291 --> 00:21:01,260
[drum downbeat,
Then music starts]
423
00:21:31,491 --> 00:21:34,361
[deep voice]
Wow!
424
00:21:53,012 --> 00:21:55,582
Eddie, I sure am glad
You didn't wind up
Kissing myrtle.
425
00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:56,649
Oh-ho.
426
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:58,685
Not half as glad
As I am.
427
00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:00,186
Ha ha!
428
00:22:00,252 --> 00:22:01,821
How'd you wind up
Getting rid of her?
429
00:22:01,888 --> 00:22:05,392
Oh, actually,
It wasn't that hard.
430
00:22:05,458 --> 00:22:09,061
Help me! Oh, help me!
Rabid dog!
431
00:22:09,128 --> 00:22:11,263
Oh, cujo, down!
Cujo, down!
432
00:22:11,330 --> 00:22:13,766
Aah! He's peeking
At my underthings!
433
00:22:13,833 --> 00:22:15,868
Ooh! Help me!
28017
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