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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:04,800 This programme contains very strong language and adult humour. 2 00:00:04,800 --> 00:00:07,000 The year of our Lord 1645. England is on its knees. 3 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,960 A kingdom blighted by civil war, 4 00:00:08,960 --> 00:00:10,080 plague, 5 00:00:10,080 --> 00:00:12,120 but most of all, 6 00:00:12,120 --> 00:00:13,520 witchery. 7 00:00:13,520 --> 00:00:17,240 Yet God has sent forth a breed of man to hold these wretches 8 00:00:17,240 --> 00:00:20,000 to the cleansing fires of justice. 9 00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:21,360 Witchfinder! 10 00:00:21,360 --> 00:00:22,880 Yes, I'm the Witchfinder, 11 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:26,280 here to tell the true tale of a wretch called Elizabeth Snell. 12 00:00:26,280 --> 00:00:29,360 She worshipped the devil, got down on her knees, 13 00:00:29,360 --> 00:00:32,360 and used his dark powers to murder her niece. 14 00:00:32,360 --> 00:00:33,600 Hang her! 15 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:34,680 Hang her! 16 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:35,840 Can't hear you! 17 00:00:35,840 --> 00:00:36,960 Hang her!! 18 00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:38,080 That's better! 19 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:41,320 Her windpipe gives way, the neck starts to crack. 20 00:00:41,320 --> 00:00:43,400 The weight of her body fractures her back. 21 00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,720 CHEERING 22 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:47,960 Her eyes start to bulge, her bowels open wide, 23 00:00:47,960 --> 00:00:50,320 the last meal she had is no longer inside. 24 00:00:50,320 --> 00:00:51,800 Oh, I didn't know they shat themselves. 25 00:00:51,800 --> 00:00:53,800 For women like Elizabeth are easily led. 26 00:00:53,800 --> 00:00:56,000 She was an only child who never wed, 27 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:58,160 and if there are no further questions... 28 00:00:58,160 --> 00:00:59,400 I've got a question. 29 00:00:59,400 --> 00:01:00,680 What? 30 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:02,520 I thought you said she murdered her niece. 31 00:01:02,520 --> 00:01:05,600 Yes... If she was an only child, how did she even have a niece? 32 00:01:05,600 --> 00:01:06,680 Oh, for God's sake. 33 00:01:06,680 --> 00:01:08,560 Well, he said if anyone's got any questions... 34 00:01:08,560 --> 00:01:10,240 The Witchfinder is meant for the children. 35 00:01:10,240 --> 00:01:12,240 If you had any respect, you'd shut your mouth. 36 00:01:12,240 --> 00:01:14,640 You know that's not Witchfinder. That is a man in a tent. 37 00:01:14,640 --> 00:01:15,960 Well, don't ruin it! 38 00:01:15,960 --> 00:01:18,080 Is it really a man in a tent? Oh, well done! 39 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:19,480 It's not a tent. It's a booth! 40 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:20,680 What is wrong with you? 41 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:21,840 Why not let it go? 42 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:24,400 I'm just interested. Yeah, well, you would be, wouldn't you? 43 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:25,960 And what's that supposed to mean?! 44 00:01:25,960 --> 00:01:27,400 Witches!! 45 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:30,400 They've found a coven of witches!! 46 00:01:30,400 --> 00:01:31,840 SHOUTING 47 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,880 Hey! I've not passed the hat round! 48 00:01:33,880 --> 00:01:35,280 What about the...? 49 00:01:42,640 --> 00:01:44,040 Oh, hello. 50 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:52,960 SINGING 51 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:56,080 # Write them on the wishing wall... # 52 00:01:57,600 --> 00:02:00,800 # If you be a man of old world...fame 53 00:02:00,800 --> 00:02:03,480 # Then tell me all their father's names 54 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:05,320 # Of the well below the valley 55 00:02:05,320 --> 00:02:07,680 # Green grow the lilies... # 56 00:02:10,560 --> 00:02:12,760 Now, that's a lovely hat. 57 00:02:12,760 --> 00:02:15,000 With genuinely lovely, um... 58 00:02:16,160 --> 00:02:17,640 ..I want to say angles. 59 00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,800 It's by Charles Booth of London. 60 00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:20,840 Of course it is. 61 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,360 One can't skimp on a hat. 62 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:24,120 It's very much the, um, 63 00:02:24,120 --> 00:02:26,040 shoe of the head. The, er... 64 00:02:26,040 --> 00:02:28,680 ..the glove of the, um... 65 00:02:28,680 --> 00:02:30,000 ..head again. 66 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,080 It's classic Booth, is what it is. 67 00:02:32,080 --> 00:02:34,160 Would you mind if I took it for a stroll? 68 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:38,400 A stroll? Just four minutes. Just, er, see how she wears. 69 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,240 We've got five minutes. Four! Thank you! 70 00:02:43,240 --> 00:02:45,920 Fuck off. I just don't see the need for this. 71 00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:48,960 We are talking about a whole coven. 72 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,800 Four witches and a pact with the devil. 73 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,520 You think the magistrate's going to employ me with my old hat?! 74 00:02:54,520 --> 00:02:56,880 The brim droops like a dog's tongue. 75 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:57,920 I like dogs. 76 00:02:57,920 --> 00:02:59,120 I like dogs! 77 00:02:59,120 --> 00:03:02,040 I just don't want their tongue slapping against my forehead. 78 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,120 OK, there he is. Ready? 79 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:06,240 Ready? 80 00:03:06,240 --> 00:03:08,800 Yes... Yes, I'm ready, Gideon! 81 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,920 Oh! Little curtsy? 82 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,160 Goodbye. 83 00:03:19,480 --> 00:03:20,760 Good Lord. 84 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:23,560 MUTTERS TO HIMSELF 85 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:28,040 LOUD COUGH 86 00:03:28,040 --> 00:03:29,560 Good Lord! Magistrate! 87 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,440 I'm so sorry. Forgive my haste. 88 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,760 I will, of course, have my book-keeper reimburse you 89 00:03:35,760 --> 00:03:38,160 for any crumpling to your garments. 90 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:40,600 You have a book-keeper?! I have a book-keeper, yes! 91 00:03:40,600 --> 00:03:42,840 For all the work that's come in since I last saw you. 92 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:44,400 Still, good day. 93 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,320 Something you wanted? 94 00:03:46,320 --> 00:03:47,960 Oh, no. No, no. 95 00:03:47,960 --> 00:03:49,040 Just passing through. 96 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:51,760 I'm on my way to Snetterton to question a suspected witch. 97 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,000 Is it Snetterton...? 98 00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,840 Constantin on the Monday for the trial, 99 00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:56,720 then off to Norwich for the possessed chorister, 100 00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:59,680 so yes, Snetterton. Snetterton, as a favour to the magistrate, really. 101 00:03:59,680 --> 00:04:02,880 He's worried that witchery running amok will reflect badly upon him. 102 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,040 The last thing a magistrate needs is panic spreading around the town 103 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,200 like the pox. 104 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,920 For God's sake, Mr Bannister. Is that what this is? 105 00:04:09,920 --> 00:04:12,680 Hmm? You grubbing for work? 106 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,040 No! Work?! 107 00:04:14,040 --> 00:04:16,080 Ha-ha! I already explained. 108 00:04:16,080 --> 00:04:17,360 I'm on my way to Snetterton. 109 00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:18,760 Yes. Snetterton's that way. 110 00:04:18,760 --> 00:04:19,800 From over there. 111 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:22,120 Honestly. 112 00:04:22,120 --> 00:04:24,320 If I wanted to investigate the coven, don't you think 113 00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:25,760 I'd come round and ask? 114 00:04:25,760 --> 00:04:28,640 No, because you've been told to not come round and ask, 115 00:04:28,640 --> 00:04:31,120 and this is your way of dangling yourself in front of me 116 00:04:31,120 --> 00:04:34,280 without doing that. Popping out on some prearranged signal! 117 00:04:34,280 --> 00:04:35,640 The woman has a cough! 118 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,360 If I needed... 119 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:39,360 SHE COUGHS 120 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:40,440 Jesus wept. 121 00:04:40,440 --> 00:04:42,880 If I needed a witchfinder, 122 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:44,680 there's plenty of them around. 123 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:45,800 Fine! 124 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,160 I don't have a book-keeper and this is... 125 00:04:50,160 --> 00:04:54,200 ..a borrowed hat. It's borrowed hat, yes, which I may ultimately buy. 126 00:04:54,200 --> 00:04:56,800 But what I do have is knowledge, 127 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,440 expertise, 128 00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,560 and, quite frankly, balls. 129 00:05:00,560 --> 00:05:02,480 Two of them. Massive. 130 00:05:02,480 --> 00:05:05,880 Enough to tackle the gravest cases of witchery, like your coven. 131 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:08,720 Oh, well, I've no coven for you. 132 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:10,760 But... 133 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:14,200 But I do have one thorny case 134 00:05:14,200 --> 00:05:17,200 if you think you and your balls can handle it. 135 00:05:18,240 --> 00:05:21,000 Oh, the three of us will be just fine, I'm sure. 136 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:23,240 What's this? 137 00:05:23,240 --> 00:05:24,480 This is the victim. 138 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:25,640 It's a pig. 139 00:05:25,640 --> 00:05:26,960 A pig killed by sorcery. 140 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:28,320 You should have heard him. 141 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:30,120 He said I was the town's pre-eminent witchfinder. 142 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:33,000 What, you are?! Trusted with the gravest witchery. 143 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,560 SHE SQUEALS 144 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,560 Decorum, decorum, decorum. 145 00:05:35,560 --> 00:05:38,000 And he said there were a couple of rooms at the tavern 146 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,840 waiting for us - just say his name. 147 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:40,880 Mr Topcliffe. 148 00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:43,160 To the landlady. Oh! Wouldn't be to me, would it? 149 00:05:43,160 --> 00:05:44,880 Oh! Decorum, decorum. 150 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,000 Do you remember when you used to ride that little pig 151 00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,240 in the village? Genevieve. 152 00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:50,800 Vaguely. Had a heart attack, didn't she? All right, all right. 153 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:12,560 May God have mercy on her soul. 154 00:06:25,480 --> 00:06:26,920 There weren't enough for you. 155 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:28,360 Oh, don't apologise, master. 156 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:29,800 Don't think I did. Oh, and, er... 157 00:06:29,800 --> 00:06:31,000 Yes, Master? Oh... 158 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,880 Watch out for that shit. Thank you, Master. 159 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,200 I said I'll trim your beard. It's what you pay me for. 160 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,240 It's actually not what I pay you for. 161 00:06:40,240 --> 00:06:42,640 Last time you did it, you gave it corners. 162 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,840 It's Hebble! Come away from the window! 163 00:06:44,840 --> 00:06:46,160 Oh, let him see. 164 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,400 Your beard's looking full. 165 00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:49,560 At least he can grow one! 166 00:06:49,560 --> 00:06:51,760 Great to see you, Mr Hebble. 167 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:53,680 You here to lobby for this coven job? 168 00:06:53,680 --> 00:06:56,360 There is no coven job. Yours was a wasted journey. 169 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:57,680 Then why take a room? 170 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:58,720 Oh, nothing much. 171 00:06:58,720 --> 00:06:59,960 Just being offered another job. 172 00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,840 I'm delighted for you. What is it this time? 173 00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,680 Someone else cursed with eczema? 174 00:07:03,680 --> 00:07:05,400 A goat that cries like a baby? 175 00:07:05,400 --> 00:07:07,960 Remember that fruit picker who had a demon in his hedge? 176 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:09,440 There wasn't a demon in his hedge. 177 00:07:09,440 --> 00:07:11,400 You'd know. You interrogated it. To rule it out. 178 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:12,560 How's my work going? 179 00:07:12,560 --> 00:07:14,280 I don't remember asking you that. Good question. 180 00:07:14,280 --> 00:07:15,480 Which I didn't ask. 181 00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:18,360 Fucking well. You probably heard about the three witches I convicted 182 00:07:18,360 --> 00:07:20,880 near Mattishall for destroying a village in a mudslide. 183 00:07:20,880 --> 00:07:22,960 I've been awarded the freedom of Girton. 184 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:26,240 Oh, the freedom of Girton! Wow-ee! What does that entail? 185 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:30,200 Is there a fenced-off bit that the rest of us aren't allowed into? No. 186 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,760 So identical to NOT having the freedom of Girton then. 187 00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:34,080 You must be thrilled. 188 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:35,320 HE CHUCKLES 189 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:39,560 Is there something else. 190 00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:40,720 No. 191 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:43,680 Do feel free to go! 192 00:07:43,680 --> 00:07:44,760 I will. 193 00:07:44,760 --> 00:07:45,880 And yet you haven't. 194 00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:47,280 Just enjoying the town. 195 00:07:50,880 --> 00:07:51,920 Toss pot. 196 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:54,880 SHOUTING 197 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:56,920 Yes! The baying mob. Oh, lovely. 198 00:07:56,920 --> 00:07:59,160 What is baying? 199 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,360 Um... It's just something mobs do. 200 00:08:01,360 --> 00:08:02,560 Egg. 201 00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:07,920 Right. 202 00:08:07,920 --> 00:08:10,680 We pray for protection against the wickedness and sins 203 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,480 of the devil. May God rebuke him. 204 00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:15,080 We pray for protection against the wickedness and sins... 205 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,560 DOOR CREAKS OPEN 206 00:08:23,280 --> 00:08:24,400 Yup. 207 00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:26,480 Thank you. 208 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,200 It's like that, is it? 209 00:08:31,200 --> 00:08:33,280 I see women like you... 210 00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:35,640 ..all the time. 211 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:38,320 Hard, impenetrable, 212 00:08:38,320 --> 00:08:40,840 revealing none of what's inside. 213 00:08:40,840 --> 00:08:44,560 But then I set to work and all of a sudden... 214 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,160 Oh, look. She's broken. 215 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,120 And it all comes out. 216 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:52,960 I fucking told you! 217 00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:54,360 Oh, I see. 218 00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:55,720 I'm so sorry. 219 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:56,880 I thought you were... 220 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,720 I thought she was... 221 00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:01,280 I've done nothing! Silence! 222 00:09:01,280 --> 00:09:03,880 Do you have to be that close? Your dick is in my armpit. 223 00:09:03,880 --> 00:09:05,600 My dick is not in her armpit. Some of it is. 224 00:09:05,600 --> 00:09:07,640 It's not love, I wouldn't. Careful! Don't goad the witch! 225 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:08,840 I'm not a witch! 226 00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,160 Tell that to my pig! I never wanted him to die. 227 00:09:11,160 --> 00:09:13,760 And how are you planning on getting the pork out? Shit bacon, does he? 228 00:09:13,760 --> 00:09:15,720 You have the devil in you, lady! 229 00:09:15,720 --> 00:09:17,680 Contrary, idle... 230 00:09:17,680 --> 00:09:18,840 And why does she live alone?! 231 00:09:18,840 --> 00:09:20,600 What sort of woman remains unmarried? 232 00:09:20,600 --> 00:09:22,920 Lots of women are unmarried. Your sister's unmarried! 233 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,960 She's not unmarried the way you're unmarried. 234 00:09:24,960 --> 00:09:27,000 There's something not right about the way you're unmarried. 235 00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,800 I agree, actually... Oh, fuck off, Anne. 236 00:09:28,800 --> 00:09:30,320 I swear to God, I will hit you... 237 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,400 Put the jug down. 238 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:37,280 No-one leaves this room without my express permission. 239 00:09:37,280 --> 00:09:41,000 Old Myers will now bag the suspect's possessions as evidence while I... 240 00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:43,160 Sorry, who are you? I'm the witchfinder. 241 00:09:43,160 --> 00:09:45,680 Oh, finally! You know, they said a witchfinder was coming 242 00:09:45,680 --> 00:09:47,840 and I thought, "Do you know what? Good. 243 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:49,960 "Someone with half a brain to sort this out." 244 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,880 I said, "As long as he knows what he's going on about, then that's great." 245 00:09:52,880 --> 00:09:55,600 As long as I... ..know what you're going on about, then that's great. 246 00:09:55,600 --> 00:09:58,080 I do know what I'm going on about. Then that's great. 247 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:01,440 My name is Gideon Bannister. 248 00:10:01,440 --> 00:10:03,840 Some of you may have heard the name. 249 00:10:06,680 --> 00:10:10,200 That's a no. My job is to determine whether the suspect, 250 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,360 one, Thomasine Gooch, 251 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,480 has pledged herself to the devil. 252 00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:20,640 Because let me tell you, I see women like you all the time. 253 00:10:20,640 --> 00:10:22,240 Hard. 254 00:10:22,240 --> 00:10:23,440 Impenetrable... 255 00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:25,240 Another egg? No, cheers. 256 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:27,520 But then I set to work... Another egg? 257 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:28,880 So that's your egg on the floor? 258 00:10:28,880 --> 00:10:31,040 Well, regardless of that, I'm... Never mind regardless, 259 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:32,520 you just dropped egg on my floor. 260 00:10:32,520 --> 00:10:34,240 Can we please get back to talking about 261 00:10:34,240 --> 00:10:36,360 the maleficium that you're accused of? 262 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:39,000 I think we should, yeah. Yeah, I think we should, too, yeah. 263 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,400 After you've picked up that egg. 264 00:10:40,400 --> 00:10:42,640 Myers, clear it up. She didn't drop the egg. 265 00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,560 Look, you have two options here. 266 00:10:44,560 --> 00:10:47,120 The first is you just admit to the crime and we move on... 267 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:49,480 Look, I want to work with you, you want to work with me... 268 00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,400 The one that we don't want to do really, if we can avoid it... 269 00:10:52,400 --> 00:10:54,880 ..pick up the egg. ..would be to start stalling 270 00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:57,160 so that I have to use more and more imaginative means 271 00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,360 trying to squeeze the confession out of you. ..I want to work with you. 272 00:10:59,360 --> 00:11:01,960 Do you see that? So which course do you want to take? 273 00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:03,480 Which course? I can see it there. 274 00:11:03,480 --> 00:11:05,440 THEY STOP TALKING SIMULTANEOUSLY 275 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,920 Now... Some there. OK. 276 00:11:18,560 --> 00:11:19,840 Right, now, 277 00:11:19,840 --> 00:11:21,720 you can see, if you ask around, 278 00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:25,400 there really is nothing to it. Yes, well, there's not nothing to it, 279 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:26,920 is there? Her pig's dead. 280 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,080 It was like 100. 281 00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,400 And then we have your ungodly behaviour, 282 00:11:30,400 --> 00:11:32,000 your repellent character. 283 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,920 I like a drink. Yes, and this is before we even discuss 284 00:11:34,920 --> 00:11:36,680 Brown Peter... My chicken. 285 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,800 Your imp! 286 00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:41,240 Witnesses saw a demon in animal form 287 00:11:41,240 --> 00:11:44,880 approaching your dwelling to suckle at your teat! 288 00:11:44,880 --> 00:11:48,080 Be gone foul creature! In Christ's name be gone! 289 00:11:48,080 --> 00:11:49,400 It's a chicken. 290 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:50,440 Oh! Myers? 291 00:11:50,440 --> 00:11:55,200 "The beast strode to the door with a purposeful gait." 292 00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:58,240 That's how they walk. They don't stroll around whistling. 293 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,800 Then one wonders how this whole thing has arisen. 294 00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:05,400 Know what you could do instead of wondering? Ask something. 295 00:12:05,400 --> 00:12:07,160 Yeah, you'd love that, wouldn't you? 296 00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:10,920 Always twisting and pulling at things with unnecessary questions. 297 00:12:10,920 --> 00:12:12,480 It's a necessary question. 298 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:13,920 Do I have a plough behind me? 299 00:12:13,920 --> 00:12:15,520 Are you done with that chicken? 300 00:12:15,520 --> 00:12:16,640 Do I have a lump? 301 00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:18,600 I thought witchfinders were meant to ask questions. 302 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:19,800 You're just saying stuff. 303 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,680 That witchfinder looking into the coven, he asked loads of questions. 304 00:12:22,680 --> 00:12:24,760 Well, for your information, there is no coven. 305 00:12:24,760 --> 00:12:26,880 For your information, there is a coven. 306 00:12:26,880 --> 00:12:28,000 I thought there was, yeah. 307 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,480 Then why would your magistrate 308 00:12:29,480 --> 00:12:32,320 specifically tell me there is no coven? 309 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,720 Well, maybe he didn't want to give you the work 310 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,000 because he didn't want to give you anything serious. 311 00:12:43,480 --> 00:12:44,600 Fucking hell. 312 00:12:48,720 --> 00:12:50,240 Is it not true... 313 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,680 ..that you did enter into a pact with these women 314 00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,520 to do the devil's bidding?! 315 00:12:57,520 --> 00:12:58,800 The devil! 316 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,240 That you convened a sabbot 317 00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:05,920 and together put a pox upon the fairest children? 318 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:08,040 God rest their souls. 319 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:12,400 It is clear to me that you have allowed the... 320 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:16,600 You look like the cat who's watching the other cat get the cream. 321 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,360 A real sour puss. 322 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:19,920 Fuck off. 323 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:21,400 Excuse me. 324 00:13:21,400 --> 00:13:23,920 ..and who sealed this pact... 325 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,560 Did you not lie with Satan... 326 00:13:29,880 --> 00:13:30,960 ..Connolly? 327 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,600 CROWD GASPS 328 00:13:32,600 --> 00:13:37,520 Did you not lie with Satan Connolly?! 329 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,000 Simple question, love. 330 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,200 Did you fuck the devil? 331 00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:41,480 I did. 332 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,680 I did! 333 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:47,280 Two words that are truly damning. 334 00:13:47,280 --> 00:13:50,680 Two words that point to one word. 335 00:13:55,960 --> 00:14:00,600 Witch! 336 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,760 CROWD SHOUTS AND CHANTS 337 00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:08,880 Oh! He's good, isn't he? 338 00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,560 Yeah, fantastic. He's good! 339 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,960 You know, different from you. Different. 340 00:14:12,960 --> 00:14:15,480 He is different. Not better, not better, just different. 341 00:14:15,480 --> 00:14:17,560 You wouldn't want this case, though, would you? 342 00:14:17,560 --> 00:14:19,040 Three dead kids. 343 00:14:19,040 --> 00:14:21,040 I would bloody love three dead kids! 344 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,720 I'd love three dead kids. 345 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:26,960 Some proper witchcraft! 346 00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:30,520 Rather than this "he said, she said" domestic quarrels, 347 00:14:30,520 --> 00:14:34,600 while all the best work goes to this bellowing ape. 348 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:35,880 I like apes. 349 00:14:35,880 --> 00:14:37,000 I like apes! 350 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,720 I just don't like them nicking my bloody work. Mm. 351 00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:41,000 Topcliffe. 352 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,240 Excuse me. 353 00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,560 You said there was no coven. 354 00:14:44,560 --> 00:14:46,360 Those were your exact words. 355 00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:48,000 No, no. My exact words were... 356 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,920 "There's no coven for you". 357 00:14:49,920 --> 00:14:51,360 That's cute. 358 00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:54,400 Come on. Everyone has their level. 359 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,640 Look, if you think I'm going to ask John Stern, 360 00:14:57,640 --> 00:15:00,600 one of the most respected witchfinders in the country, 361 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,200 who happens to be passing through town 362 00:15:02,200 --> 00:15:04,480 and offers us his assistance... John Stern? 363 00:15:04,480 --> 00:15:06,120 That man was John Stern?! 364 00:15:06,120 --> 00:15:08,920 But he's the right hand man to Matthew Hopkins, 365 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:10,440 the Witchfinder General. 366 00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:14,160 Is there something you wanted? 367 00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:15,680 Me? Yes. 368 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,360 No, no. Just thinking about the Witchfinder General. 369 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,960 RAUCOUS LAUGHTER 370 00:15:24,960 --> 00:15:28,440 And because they were twins, you couldn't tell which was which! 371 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,520 There you go, boys. 372 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:34,360 Yeah, another bowl of cherries for the table. 373 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,880 You've not paid for these yet. 374 00:15:35,880 --> 00:15:38,120 Paid?! This is John Stern. 375 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,160 Is that supposed to mean something to me? 376 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:41,320 Well, let's see. 377 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,040 Does your daughter mean anything to you? 378 00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,120 What? 379 00:15:46,120 --> 00:15:48,560 Your daughter. The one who sneaks off every night 380 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:50,720 to fetch off the devil? My daughter? 381 00:15:50,720 --> 00:15:52,160 Fetching of the devil? 382 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:54,560 Who's saying that...? Well, I did and you just have, 383 00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:55,680 so that's two already. 384 00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:58,560 I only said it... See how quickly these things catch fire? 385 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:01,920 That's how quickly your daughter's hair will catch fire 386 00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,200 when I have her burned as a witch. 387 00:16:04,200 --> 00:16:06,160 I'll get your cherries. 388 00:16:09,120 --> 00:16:11,280 I hate having to do that, but it's just quicker. 389 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:12,880 LAUGHTER 390 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,000 Sorry, you were saying about scripture... 391 00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,640 Ah, now. It's important. I could quote scripture. 392 00:16:17,640 --> 00:16:18,920 I could say, 393 00:16:18,920 --> 00:16:24,040 "A woman that hath a familiar spirit shall surely be put to death." 394 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:28,880 Now, some witchfinders will be able to tell you the chapter and verse... 395 00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,400 Leviticus 20:27. 396 00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:32,880 ..whereas others, like me, like Matthew - 397 00:16:32,880 --> 00:16:35,120 that ilk - we're not bothered. No. 398 00:16:35,120 --> 00:16:37,840 We're more focused on the bigger picture. 399 00:16:37,840 --> 00:16:40,360 Who cares? Yes, might not be Chapter 20 in the end. 400 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,800 It might not be Chapter 20. 401 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:43,560 I'm not sure. Not sure about what? 402 00:16:43,560 --> 00:16:45,880 Well, which one - what he was saying about the bigger picture. 403 00:16:45,880 --> 00:16:48,080 You need to... In fact, I'll talk to him. 404 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:53,040 I have to say, I have written a witchfinding pamphlet myself, 405 00:16:53,040 --> 00:16:54,720 which I've got here. 406 00:16:54,720 --> 00:16:56,240 I'll just find a seat. 407 00:16:56,240 --> 00:16:59,440 It is called "An Observation of the Study 408 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,240 "of the Nature of the Foulness of witches". 409 00:17:02,240 --> 00:17:04,920 Maybe one too many "of the" there, but my plan is... 410 00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:06,760 You're in my seat. Off I go. Lovely. 411 00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,360 Happy to stand. Love standing. 412 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,520 Now. My name is Gideon Bannister. 413 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:14,080 I loved... 414 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:16,360 ..loved your prosecuting earlier. 415 00:17:16,360 --> 00:17:17,800 Some lovely scripture. 416 00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,160 Lovely scripture. Crowd in the palm of your hands. 417 00:17:20,160 --> 00:17:21,960 Fantastic peppering of Latin... 418 00:17:21,960 --> 00:17:24,520 And a little tonic for loosening the tongue. 419 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,600 Red Cap mushroom, crushed and dried. 420 00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,000 GIDEON LAUGHS 421 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:30,520 You will excuse Mr Hebble. 422 00:17:30,520 --> 00:17:33,640 You might have to resort to the use of intoxicants 423 00:17:33,640 --> 00:17:35,120 to secure a conviction, 424 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,200 but witchfinders like John and me 425 00:17:37,200 --> 00:17:41,680 prefer to rely on scriptures, scruples and scrutiny. 426 00:17:41,680 --> 00:17:43,640 The three "scrus". 427 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:45,640 And I believe, if I'm not wrong, 428 00:17:45,640 --> 00:17:47,040 that belongs to you. 429 00:17:47,040 --> 00:17:48,920 And apologies for that. 430 00:17:48,920 --> 00:17:51,200 Now, if you'll excuse us, Mr Hebble, 431 00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:54,480 John and me are talking about my witchfinding pamphlet... 432 00:17:54,480 --> 00:17:56,520 That's the second time you've said "John and me". 433 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:58,880 There is no "John and me". 434 00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,360 It's not like you're a proper witchfinder. 435 00:18:04,360 --> 00:18:06,920 Well, I am a witchfinder. 436 00:18:06,920 --> 00:18:09,080 Because you have a witchfinder's hat? 437 00:18:09,080 --> 00:18:10,760 And the cloak? 438 00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:13,680 Put a scarecrow in a farmer's hat and coat, 439 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:15,080 does that make it a farmer? 440 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:19,080 I'm engaged in a case across the square. 441 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,960 Oh. Let me know if it comes to trial. 442 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,960 I'm sure Mr Hopkins will be keen to hear of a good new witchfinder. 443 00:18:24,960 --> 00:18:26,040 Tomorrow morning. 444 00:18:26,040 --> 00:18:27,880 They're going to try her tomorrow morning? Yup. 445 00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:30,480 On stage, or... On stage. All welcome. 446 00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:32,480 I might come to that. Please do. 447 00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:33,880 Please do. 448 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,160 Please do. 449 00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,000 COCKEREL CROWS 450 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,680 HE BREATHES DEEPLY 451 00:18:44,760 --> 00:18:46,280 Does your head fill the whole hat, 452 00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:48,440 or have you paid for more hat than you need? 453 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:51,080 If I were you, I'd concern myself with the charges 454 00:18:51,080 --> 00:18:52,640 levelled against me. 455 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:55,360 And try not to be intimidated by my manner up there. 456 00:18:55,360 --> 00:18:56,720 I'll try not to be. 457 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,480 I can be a little fearsome, especially when I hit top volume. 458 00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:01,680 Yes. Understood. 459 00:19:01,680 --> 00:19:04,080 Equally, don't be thrown by the... 460 00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:06,920 ..flourishes that accompany my work. 461 00:19:08,080 --> 00:19:09,520 Dare say I'll manage. 462 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:12,200 You do realise you're on trial for witchery? 463 00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,280 You do realise I've lived here my whole life? 464 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,800 I drink in the tavern. 465 00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,520 My dad used to sell meat to everyone here. 466 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,560 I'm Meaty Gooch's girl. Meaty Gooch? 467 00:19:19,560 --> 00:19:21,840 When they find out what the Griffins have been saying, 468 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,200 you're just going to get laughed at. 469 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,480 Oh Master Gideon, Master Gideon! 470 00:19:24,480 --> 00:19:26,080 You know how I've been looking for Mr Stern? 471 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:27,680 You found him? No. Staggering. 472 00:19:27,680 --> 00:19:29,680 But his horse is still here. 473 00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:31,360 So he's still in town. 474 00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,000 But "in town" is no good to us! 475 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,280 He needs to be out there bloody watching! 476 00:19:35,280 --> 00:19:40,000 This is how John Stern came into the employ of Matthew Hopkins! 477 00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:42,720 Public prosecution like this could be the making of me. 478 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:45,240 So stand up and go and find him! 479 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:47,200 KNOCKING 480 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,600 Does that mean it's starting? Yes! Come on, let's go. 481 00:19:49,600 --> 00:19:51,640 Head held high. Out we go. 482 00:19:51,640 --> 00:19:53,560 Oh, Mary's here! Shut up. 483 00:19:53,560 --> 00:19:54,840 Mary! Shut up! 484 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:56,440 You are a woman of God, are you not? 485 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:58,400 Yes. 486 00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:00,520 Testifying under oath before the Lord? 487 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:01,600 Yes. 488 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,680 And you've seen this woman at close quarters? 489 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:04,720 Yes. 490 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,840 Formed a view of her character? 491 00:20:06,840 --> 00:20:07,960 Yes. 492 00:20:07,960 --> 00:20:11,680 Shaped, no doubt, by the inexplicable death of your pig? 493 00:20:11,680 --> 00:20:12,880 Yes. 494 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:15,960 Do you believe Thomasine Gooch to be a witch? 495 00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:17,120 Yes, I do. 496 00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,440 Yes. 497 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,760 SHOUTING 498 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:20,760 "Yes, I do. 499 00:20:20,760 --> 00:20:22,120 "Yes." 500 00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,560 Four words... 501 00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:27,840 ..or two words... 502 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,120 ..twice bookended by a third, 503 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:32,640 that are truly damning. 504 00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:33,760 Thank you. 505 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:36,280 Bit quicker. 506 00:20:37,520 --> 00:20:40,440 My name is Gideon Bannister. Some of you may know me. 507 00:20:42,360 --> 00:20:44,520 ..and I'm here today... That's unbelievable. 508 00:20:45,640 --> 00:20:50,040 And I'm here today in the presence of your magistrate, Mr Topcliffe, 509 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,880 and I believe Mr John Stern is with us today... 510 00:20:52,880 --> 00:20:54,080 Um... 511 00:20:54,080 --> 00:20:55,880 No, not quite yet. 512 00:20:55,880 --> 00:20:58,920 ..to present the case against Thomasine Gooch, 513 00:20:58,920 --> 00:21:01,360 who used sorcery, 514 00:21:01,360 --> 00:21:06,360 which led to the demise of Goodwife Griffin's pig, 515 00:21:06,360 --> 00:21:10,400 cherished as it was like a member of her own family. 516 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:11,920 Definite likeness. Pardon me? 517 00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,200 Nothing. 518 00:21:13,200 --> 00:21:15,880 I'm ever so sorry, does this amuse you? 519 00:21:15,880 --> 00:21:17,920 A bit, yeah. A bit? Does it? 520 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,080 Then it might amuse you to hear that you are charged 521 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,120 with the crime of maleficium, or harm by sorcery! 522 00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:23,240 Well, which one is it? 523 00:21:24,520 --> 00:21:26,800 What? Maleficium or harm by sorcery? 524 00:21:26,800 --> 00:21:28,640 Maleficium is harm by sorcery! 525 00:21:28,640 --> 00:21:30,880 Would it not just have been easier to say "harm by sorcery"? 526 00:21:30,880 --> 00:21:32,040 Quicker to say Maleficium. 527 00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,400 Not if you have to explain that it's harm by sorcery. 528 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:38,160 I wasn't to know that you didn't know what maleficium was. 529 00:21:38,160 --> 00:21:40,680 Maybe next time just say "harm by sorcery", 530 00:21:40,680 --> 00:21:42,520 unless you think it sounds better in Latin. 531 00:21:42,520 --> 00:21:43,960 Up to you. 532 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:46,280 English or Latin... 533 00:21:47,680 --> 00:21:49,280 ..you made a pact with the devil. 534 00:21:49,280 --> 00:21:50,560 I'm not being funny, 535 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,200 but the only ones that have accused me of being a witch 536 00:21:53,200 --> 00:21:54,520 are the Griffins. 537 00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:55,720 Ask anyone. 538 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:56,840 Susan! 539 00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:58,600 Susan Archibald! 540 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,200 Or the Murrows. 541 00:22:00,200 --> 00:22:01,600 John Murrow! Judy Murrow! 542 00:22:01,600 --> 00:22:03,800 Ask any of them, and they'll vouch for me. 543 00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:06,960 The Murrows described you as "ungodly". 544 00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,040 What?! 545 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:10,640 Goodwife Archibald refers to you as a, um... 546 00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:13,400 Well, I won't say the word, 547 00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:14,920 but it becunts with the letter C. 548 00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,120 You people! 549 00:22:17,120 --> 00:22:19,160 My God! 550 00:22:19,160 --> 00:22:23,120 If I was a witch, you lot would know about it! 551 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:27,440 I'd cast a spell to put ale in the well to liven you lot up a bit! 552 00:22:27,440 --> 00:22:30,320 Maybe get you to admit to the ungodly stuff that you do. 553 00:22:30,320 --> 00:22:33,440 Like sneaking across the square at 5am to get back 554 00:22:33,440 --> 00:22:35,320 into bed before your wife wakes up. 555 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:36,440 I sleepwalk! 556 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:39,560 Or telling your sister that her hair looks nice piled up like that, 557 00:22:39,560 --> 00:22:42,160 when actually she looks like she's got a pie on her head! 558 00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,440 All of you lot have got something to hide, 559 00:22:44,440 --> 00:22:45,760 but no... 560 00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,400 ..I'm the witch! 561 00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,560 Oh, at last a confession! 562 00:22:49,560 --> 00:22:51,360 No! No, no, no... No, I... 563 00:22:51,360 --> 00:22:53,880 I think we're still waiting for John Stern. 564 00:22:53,880 --> 00:22:56,440 I think the case for the prosecution rests. 565 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:58,560 Right now, prepare the defendant. 566 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:00,200 JEERING AND SHOUTING 567 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:01,920 Gideon, where are you going?! 568 00:23:01,920 --> 00:23:04,200 They're just about to announce it! 569 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:08,480 Pointless. I'm fed up, traipsing around to these stupid towns - 570 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,160 your Snettertons and your Banhams and your... 571 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,800 Girton. Yes, Girton. Exactly! 572 00:23:13,800 --> 00:23:16,160 Poxy little towns with stupid little cases. 573 00:23:16,160 --> 00:23:17,640 Are you hungry, Gideon? 574 00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:19,200 I'm hungry for more! 575 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:21,160 I thought you did very well up there. 576 00:23:21,160 --> 00:23:22,600 Very well. 577 00:23:22,600 --> 00:23:24,800 You were up all night writing that speech. 578 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:28,080 Yes, for John Stern to hear, and he didn't even show up! 579 00:23:31,920 --> 00:23:34,240 Is that not him? Is that not him?! 580 00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:38,880 Mr Stern! 581 00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:40,680 So you saw the trial then? 582 00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,800 Sorry if you heard any of that. 583 00:23:42,800 --> 00:23:45,520 Truth be told, I've had a bit of a fallow period, 584 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:47,720 an annus calamitous, if you like. 585 00:23:47,720 --> 00:23:49,000 I'm sure you've been there. 586 00:23:50,120 --> 00:23:52,640 Just saying, I'm sure you've been there, John. 587 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,160 In fact, I'll take that back. 588 00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:58,080 I'm not sure you've been there. 589 00:23:58,080 --> 00:24:00,800 In fact, I'm positive you haven't. 590 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,880 And I know that you won't, John. 591 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,960 Have I upset you, John? 592 00:24:05,960 --> 00:24:07,120 John? 593 00:24:08,640 --> 00:24:10,040 Oh, God! 594 00:24:10,040 --> 00:24:12,520 I think you've hurt yourself a little bit, John. 595 00:24:12,520 --> 00:24:14,720 There are one or two flies just near your mouth. 596 00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,160 Yup. One's gone in. 597 00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:17,880 It's gone into your mouth, John. Gideon... 598 00:24:17,880 --> 00:24:20,160 It was on your lip, and then it's just marched into your mouth, 599 00:24:20,160 --> 00:24:21,280 bold as brass. 600 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:23,920 Gideon. Don't inhale, John. Gideon, he's dead! 601 00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:25,680 He must have drunk all the ale, 602 00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:28,440 come in, slipped on the straw, and then impaled himself on that... 603 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:30,040 Oh, that metal thingy. 604 00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,760 What an idiot. What an idiot! Showing off, probably! 605 00:24:33,760 --> 00:24:36,440 Well, someone's going to have to tell the Witchfinder General 606 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,360 he's going to need a new right hand man. 607 00:24:38,360 --> 00:24:42,320 I mean, yes, although goodness knows where Matthew Hopkins is. 608 00:24:42,320 --> 00:24:44,280 He's not an easy man to pin down. 609 00:24:44,280 --> 00:24:47,280 Well, it says here Mr Stern is going to meet him in Chelmsford 610 00:24:47,280 --> 00:24:50,000 on Friday for a big showpiece witch trial. 611 00:24:50,000 --> 00:24:51,200 Shame you're here. 612 00:24:51,200 --> 00:24:53,760 Well, there won't be a shortage of qualified witchfinders 613 00:24:53,760 --> 00:24:54,880 far closer to hand. 614 00:24:54,880 --> 00:24:57,960 Yeah, but then again, they don't know that Mr Stern's dead, do they? 615 00:24:57,960 --> 00:25:00,880 Or that Mr Hopkins is headed for Chelmsford. 616 00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:02,920 You'd have been able to break the news. 617 00:25:02,920 --> 00:25:04,840 You'd have been the first witchfinder on the spot, 618 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:07,000 with the witch who killed his friend. 619 00:25:07,000 --> 00:25:08,880 I thought you said he slipped on the hay. 620 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:10,960 You told me, 621 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,400 witches make puppets... 622 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:15,680 ..of the people they want to bewitch! 623 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:19,640 She made this to put a hex on him. Look. 624 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:23,040 I found it in her house. It's a shame the trial's done. 625 00:25:23,040 --> 00:25:25,080 I don't think they'd take too kindly to you 626 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:28,240 whisking that witch away - they're going to want to see her burn! 627 00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:31,600 Gideon? 628 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,680 SHOUTING AND JEERING 629 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,680 Topcliffe! 630 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:37,360 Magistrate Topcliffe! 631 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:41,440 Excuse me, excuse me! 632 00:25:43,320 --> 00:25:45,920 Magistrate Topcliffe, I need the suspect! What?! 633 00:25:45,920 --> 00:25:47,560 I've got to take the suspect! 634 00:25:47,560 --> 00:25:49,400 Why?! I've got a letter! 635 00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,000 What letter? This one! 636 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,120 CROWD FALLS SILENT 637 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,520 Received it just now. 638 00:25:55,760 --> 00:25:58,360 It's from the Court of Assizes saying, 639 00:25:58,360 --> 00:26:00,360 and this is bloody annoying, 640 00:26:00,360 --> 00:26:04,200 I need to take the suspect there 641 00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:05,560 to have a trial there. 642 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:07,080 What? No, no! 643 00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:10,760 The worst of it, I need to take her immediately. 644 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:12,280 What does it say? 645 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,360 Actually, yeah. Let's hear the letter. 646 00:26:15,360 --> 00:26:17,120 You want me to read the letter? 647 00:26:17,120 --> 00:26:18,200 Yes! 648 00:26:18,200 --> 00:26:19,520 Read it! 649 00:26:20,720 --> 00:26:22,440 I'll happily read the letter. 650 00:26:25,040 --> 00:26:26,360 It says... 651 00:26:26,360 --> 00:26:28,640 .."To Mr Bannister." 652 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:30,400 Pardon me, a bit of phlegm. 653 00:26:31,560 --> 00:26:35,240 "You shall immediately please transport the defendant, 654 00:26:35,240 --> 00:26:37,400 "Thomasine..." 655 00:26:37,400 --> 00:26:38,680 Gooch. Gooch. 656 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:40,920 Which is what it says here in black and white. 657 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:42,920 "..to the Court of Assizes, 658 00:26:42,920 --> 00:26:46,800 "where she will be tried...by a judge..." 659 00:26:48,240 --> 00:26:49,440 Obviously. 660 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:53,960 "..that we may more swiftly expunge the 661 00:26:53,960 --> 00:26:56,000 "pernicious shadow of witchery 662 00:26:56,000 --> 00:26:59,120 "that looms long over this large land..." 663 00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:04,320 Which I thought was rather florid, but still quite nicely phrased. 664 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:08,240 All of the Ls - "looms", "long", "large". 665 00:27:08,240 --> 00:27:10,480 You know what makes it florid? 666 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:12,240 "Yours..." Wrapping it up now. 667 00:27:12,240 --> 00:27:19,720 "..the Master of the Rolls and Lord Chancellor of the...Bar." 668 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:22,800 There's your letter. 669 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,640 I don't have any questions, 670 00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:26,240 unless you guys do? 671 00:27:26,240 --> 00:27:29,120 CROWD SHOUTS ANGRILY 49089

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