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1
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- julie.
- what?
2
00:00:02,769 --> 00:00:04,381
Did I ever tell
You about my uncle
3
00:00:04,405 --> 00:00:05,570
Who was an inventor?
4
00:00:05,639 --> 00:00:06,872
No, what did he invent?
5
00:00:06,940 --> 00:00:08,819
Well, he invented
A new deodorant.
6
00:00:08,843 --> 00:00:10,575
Hm, what was it called?
7
00:00:10,644 --> 00:00:12,944
Invisible.
8
00:00:13,013 --> 00:00:14,724
Why was it called "Invisible"?
9
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,326
Because if you put
This deodorant on,
10
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,450
You would disappear.
11
00:00:18,519 --> 00:00:21,720
Smell would stay the same,
12
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:26,024
But nobody knew where
It was coming from.
13
00:00:26,093 --> 00:00:31,964
♪
14
00:00:33,467 --> 00:00:36,268
♪ welcome back ♪
15
00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:40,005
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
16
00:00:40,073 --> 00:00:42,174
♪ welcome back ♪
17
00:00:42,243 --> 00:00:46,811
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
18
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,214
♪ well the names
Have all changed
19
00:00:49,283 --> 00:00:51,349
Since you hung around ♪
20
00:00:51,418 --> 00:00:53,518
♪ but those dreams have remained
21
00:00:53,586 --> 00:00:55,787
And they've turned around ♪
22
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,855
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
23
00:00:57,924 --> 00:00:59,844
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
24
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:01,860
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
25
00:01:01,928 --> 00:01:04,095
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
26
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,064
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
27
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:08,333
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
28
00:01:08,402 --> 00:01:10,502
♪ welcome back ♪
29
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:16,141
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
30
00:01:21,015 --> 00:01:26,885
♪
31
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,930
Okay, anybody have a
Question about the war of 1812?
32
00:01:38,999 --> 00:01:41,132
Yeah, when did it start?
33
00:01:47,107 --> 00:01:49,975
1492.
34
00:01:50,044 --> 00:01:52,210
I don't know what's the
Matter with you people today.
35
00:01:52,279 --> 00:01:54,613
It's like your
Brains are absent.
36
00:01:54,682 --> 00:01:57,749
Speaking about brains being
Absent, where's barbarino?
37
00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,951
Uh, vinnie came out
With some wisecracks
38
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:01,831
During gym class, so
Caruso wanted to have,
39
00:02:01,855 --> 00:02:03,955
You know, a little chit-chat
With him afterwards.
40
00:02:04,024 --> 00:02:05,123
What did vinnie say?
41
00:02:05,191 --> 00:02:06,525
Well, you know vinnie.
42
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,860
He was clowning around
During gymnastics,
43
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,307
He got up on the side horse
44
00:02:10,331 --> 00:02:12,598
And he was trying to
Do his barbarino dance.
45
00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:16,134
♪ I said ba ba ba,
Ba barbarino ♪
46
00:02:16,203 --> 00:02:17,436
♪ ba ba ba... ♪
47
00:02:17,504 --> 00:02:18,670
Epstein!
48
00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:21,206
Epstein, I get the picture.
49
00:02:21,274 --> 00:02:23,219
It's a lucky thing
He didn't break a leg.
50
00:02:23,243 --> 00:02:24,376
Oh, he did.
51
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:25,510
What?
52
00:02:25,579 --> 00:02:26,511
Not vinnie.
53
00:02:26,580 --> 00:02:29,781
He broke a leg
On the side horse.
54
00:02:29,850 --> 00:02:32,717
So, mr. Caruso told vinnie
55
00:02:32,786 --> 00:02:38,957
To take the horse to
Woodshop and fix it.
56
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:40,359
And then he said,
57
00:02:40,427 --> 00:02:42,661
"Why don't we just shoot it?"
58
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:51,336
So, mr. Caruso, he
Gets all red in the face,
59
00:02:51,405 --> 00:02:53,638
And he says, "I want to see you
60
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:55,940
In my office after class!"
61
00:02:56,009 --> 00:02:57,754
I'm surprised that
Caruso got upset
62
00:02:57,778 --> 00:02:59,189
Over one little wisecrack.
63
00:02:59,213 --> 00:03:02,213
Oh, see, I think it was what
Vinnie said to him yesterday.
64
00:03:02,282 --> 00:03:05,483
Caruso got real mad
When vinnie told him to...
65
00:03:05,553 --> 00:03:10,154
"Go blow it out his whistle."
66
00:03:10,223 --> 00:03:13,158
And on tuesday, when caruso
Told vinnie he took track in college,
67
00:03:13,227 --> 00:03:15,307
Vinnie said he was the only
Guy to stop in the middle
68
00:03:15,362 --> 00:03:17,929
Of the race and
Ask for directions.
69
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,539
Well, well, well, well, well.
70
00:03:27,608 --> 00:03:30,509
If it isn't vinnie youngman.
71
00:03:30,578 --> 00:03:33,979
Hey, vinnie, what happened
With you and mr. Caruso?
72
00:03:34,047 --> 00:03:35,113
Nothing happened.
73
00:03:35,182 --> 00:03:36,659
What was you teaching
When I walked in?
74
00:03:36,683 --> 00:03:40,218
Go back to teaching that.
75
00:03:40,287 --> 00:03:42,554
Okay, let's get back
To the war of 1812.
76
00:03:42,623 --> 00:03:46,024
I'd rather hear about the war
Between vinnie and mr. Caruso.
77
00:03:47,995 --> 00:03:50,028
That's vinnie's business.
78
00:03:50,097 --> 00:03:52,008
I don't want to hear anything
Else about what happened
79
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:55,132
In gym between
Barbarino and mr. Caruso.
80
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:57,836
Oh, I'll tell 'em about
What happened in gym
81
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,405
Between barbarino
And mr. Caruso.
82
00:04:00,473 --> 00:04:02,340
There's a rumor floating around
83
00:04:02,409 --> 00:04:05,143
That caruso clobbered
Barbarino outside his office
84
00:04:05,211 --> 00:04:07,779
In full view of the
Girls' gym class.
85
00:04:10,217 --> 00:04:11,450
Hold on!
86
00:04:11,518 --> 00:04:13,496
Are you saying that
Caruso actually hit vinnie?
87
00:04:13,520 --> 00:04:15,165
That's what I'm
Trying to establish.
88
00:04:15,189 --> 00:04:16,565
Now, you know,
Kotter, there are rules
89
00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:18,690
Against hitting
Students, even sweathogs.
90
00:04:18,758 --> 00:04:20,959
Why, I don't know.
91
00:04:21,028 --> 00:04:23,072
Vinnie, is this true? Did
This actually happen?
92
00:04:23,096 --> 00:04:24,696
No, it's not true.
93
00:04:24,764 --> 00:04:27,965
Them girls must
Be seeing things.
94
00:04:28,034 --> 00:04:30,502
Now that's the right
Attitude, barbarino.
95
00:04:30,570 --> 00:04:33,038
Uh, no visible bruises?
96
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,106
Good.
97
00:04:34,141 --> 00:04:35,451
That means no
Student was struck,
98
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:37,020
Parents don't have
To come to school,
99
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,342
And most of all,
100
00:04:38,411 --> 00:04:42,914
Principle lazarus
Can get off my donkey.
101
00:04:46,286 --> 00:04:48,164
All right, all right,
See you tomorrow.
102
00:04:48,188 --> 00:04:50,155
Read that chapter
On the war of 1812.
103
00:04:50,224 --> 00:04:52,124
We already done that.
104
00:04:52,192 --> 00:04:54,059
Then read chapter 14 again.
105
00:04:57,831 --> 00:04:58,831
Are you okay?
106
00:04:58,899 --> 00:05:02,968
- yeah, yeah.
- he's fine, he's fine.
107
00:05:03,036 --> 00:05:04,814
Okay, vinnie, you want to
Tell us what really happened?
108
00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,315
What's happening, man,
What's the problem?
109
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:07,405
What is to tell?
110
00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:08,985
Look, I was in
The office, right?
111
00:05:09,009 --> 00:05:12,310
And caruso was chewing me
Out about wisecracking all week.
112
00:05:12,379 --> 00:05:14,219
So I go, I say, "Yeah,
Yeah, yeah, yeah,"
113
00:05:14,247 --> 00:05:17,182
And I walk out the door, he
Turns around and he hits me.
114
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:21,286
Gee, vinnie.
115
00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:25,390
To get hit in front of
The girls' gym class.
116
00:05:25,458 --> 00:05:29,360
By tonight, all of brooklyn
Is gonna know about this.
117
00:05:29,429 --> 00:05:30,862
Are you kiddin'?
118
00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:31,963
Those girls?
119
00:05:32,032 --> 00:05:34,866
It'll be on the
Seven o'clock news.
120
00:05:34,935 --> 00:05:36,868
Now look, vinnie, I
Think we got a case here.
121
00:05:36,937 --> 00:05:39,738
I'm gonna send you to my
Brother's public offender.
122
00:05:39,806 --> 00:05:41,472
He's with a big law firm:
123
00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,508
Shapiro, shapiro, and whiplash.
124
00:05:44,577 --> 00:05:46,945
Then we're gonna get caruso
Right by the gym shorts.
125
00:05:47,013 --> 00:05:48,646
All right!
126
00:05:48,715 --> 00:05:50,982
So, vinnie, what
Are you gonna do?
127
00:05:51,050 --> 00:05:53,651
Don't worry about it,
I'm planning a strategy
128
00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,787
Right now, right
While we're talking.
129
00:05:55,856 --> 00:05:58,857
Yeah, like which fist
He's gonna use first.
130
00:05:58,925 --> 00:05:59,957
Yeah.
131
00:06:00,026 --> 00:06:02,927
Ambush or broad daylight?
132
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:04,296
Uh, gentlemen, gentlemen,
133
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,041
I think you have
Another class to go to
134
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:07,543
Because I have another
One coming in here,
135
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:08,944
So why don't you cool down
136
00:06:08,968 --> 00:06:10,880
And give mr. Barbarino
A chance to cool down?
137
00:06:10,904 --> 00:06:12,114
- that's fine.
- all right.
138
00:06:12,138 --> 00:06:15,039
Be brave, little soldier.
139
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:16,619
You do what you
Gotta do, vinnie.
140
00:06:16,643 --> 00:06:18,483
Yeah, it ain't nothin'
To it, a baby can do it.
141
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:20,745
Honey, would you get the door?
142
00:06:20,814 --> 00:06:22,958
I got the refrigerator
Door, you get the front door.
143
00:06:26,019 --> 00:06:27,497
Hi, mrs. Kotter, how you doin'?
144
00:06:27,521 --> 00:06:29,031
I just have a little
Cold, I'm okay.
145
00:06:29,055 --> 00:06:30,322
That's good.
146
00:06:30,390 --> 00:06:32,490
Listen, I'm sorry I
Barged in on you like this,
147
00:06:32,559 --> 00:06:33,658
But, you know.
148
00:06:33,727 --> 00:06:34,727
Oh, it's all right.
149
00:06:34,795 --> 00:06:35,971
Listen, we were expecting you.
150
00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:39,130
Mr. Kotter told me
All about it, vinnie.
151
00:06:39,199 --> 00:06:41,166
Hey, did you guys
Watch the news tonight?
152
00:06:41,235 --> 00:06:43,501
Was there anything
About me and caruso in it?
153
00:06:46,440 --> 00:06:47,850
No, but they broke
Right into the middle
154
00:06:47,874 --> 00:06:50,542
Of bowling for dentures.
155
00:06:50,610 --> 00:06:54,078
"Caruso clouts
Barbarino, film at 11."
156
00:06:54,148 --> 00:06:55,247
Are you kiddin'?
157
00:06:55,315 --> 00:06:56,893
Yes, vinnie, he's kidding.
158
00:06:56,917 --> 00:06:58,528
I'm kidding, vinnie, come
On, you want a soda?
159
00:06:58,552 --> 00:07:01,252
Yeah, I'd love a soda,
What kind you got?
160
00:07:01,320 --> 00:07:04,955
Let's see, we got, uh,
Pepsi, grape, orange,
161
00:07:05,024 --> 00:07:07,692
Strawberry, raspberry,
And non-carbonated.
162
00:07:07,760 --> 00:07:09,194
You got root beer?
163
00:07:11,631 --> 00:07:14,232
Got pepsi, grape, orange,
164
00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,735
Raspberry, strawberry,
And non-carbonated.
165
00:07:16,803 --> 00:07:18,002
No root beer?
166
00:07:22,509 --> 00:07:26,678
Pepsi... Grape... Orange...
167
00:07:26,747 --> 00:07:30,782
Strawberry... Raspberry...
Non-carbonated.
168
00:07:30,851 --> 00:07:32,283
I like root beer.
169
00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:36,955
I'll have a pepsi.
170
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:38,389
Have a pepsi.
171
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,890
Well, how'd it go today?
172
00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:40,891
Terrible.
173
00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,760
I've been getting
Calls all day long.
174
00:07:42,829 --> 00:07:44,006
My brother, he called me,
175
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,642
He said he's been dishonored.
176
00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,999
He's changing his
Name to lefkowitz.
177
00:07:49,703 --> 00:07:51,703
It's really stupid, ain't it?
178
00:07:51,772 --> 00:07:53,872
Lefkowitz barbarino?
179
00:07:58,845 --> 00:08:01,479
Come on, vinnie, sit down.
180
00:08:01,548 --> 00:08:04,048
Look, you got a problem,
And we're gonna work on it,
181
00:08:04,117 --> 00:08:05,216
Solve it.
182
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,185
But you gotta tell me
183
00:08:07,254 --> 00:08:09,332
That you're not seriously
Thinking of hitting him.
184
00:08:09,356 --> 00:08:12,757
Oh, come on, mr. Kotter,
I'm beyond that now.
185
00:08:12,825 --> 00:08:14,504
I'm happy to hear
You say that, vinnie.
186
00:08:14,528 --> 00:08:18,629
I'm gonna borrow my uncle's
Cement truck and run him over.
187
00:08:18,699 --> 00:08:19,898
Vinnie!
188
00:08:19,966 --> 00:08:22,333
It was a joke, mrs.
Kotter, just a joke.
189
00:08:22,402 --> 00:08:24,068
Vinnie, be serious.
190
00:08:24,137 --> 00:08:26,504
Don't let yourself get
Pushed into hitting him.
191
00:08:26,572 --> 00:08:29,073
If you do, you could get
Thrown out of school.
192
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,042
Oh, come on, that's some choice.
193
00:08:31,110 --> 00:08:33,244
If I hit him, I get thrown
Out of school, right?
194
00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:37,048
If I don't hit him, I get
Laughed out of school.
195
00:08:37,116 --> 00:08:39,851
What if I wait till I
Graduate, then I hit him?
196
00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,888
Come on, vinnie, you think
You can wait 15 years?
197
00:08:43,957 --> 00:08:45,601
Boy, you're funny
Today, aren't you?
198
00:08:45,625 --> 00:08:48,093
Boy, everybody's on my
Case today, can't believe it.
199
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:49,638
Vinnie, I'm sure
That your friends
200
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:51,796
Understand the
Situation that you're in.
201
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,831
No, I don't think
So, mrs. Kotter.
202
00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,945
I mean, all they know
Is that vinnie barbarino
203
00:08:55,969 --> 00:08:58,069
Got slapped around.
204
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:01,839
I feel like nothin'!
205
00:09:01,908 --> 00:09:04,208
I feel like a crumb!
206
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,221
- did you ever feel that way?
- oh, no, vinnie, wait.
207
00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:08,379
You're asking for
One of his stories.
208
00:09:08,448 --> 00:09:10,982
Let me tell you
What happened once.
209
00:09:11,051 --> 00:09:12,250
Too late.
210
00:09:12,318 --> 00:09:13,729
There was this friend of mine...
211
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:15,386
Bonzo moretti.
212
00:09:15,455 --> 00:09:17,788
Bonzo moretti.
213
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,368
Now, bonzo was just like you.
214
00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:22,393
Bonzo was bigger than you,
And one day, caruso, boom,
215
00:09:22,462 --> 00:09:23,728
Slaps him, right?
216
00:09:23,796 --> 00:09:25,563
Bonzo had the same
Problem as you had.
217
00:09:25,632 --> 00:09:26,875
He knew that if
He hit caruso back,
218
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:28,143
He'd get thrown out of school,
219
00:09:28,167 --> 00:09:29,578
And that would
Really affect his family,
220
00:09:29,602 --> 00:09:30,868
Especially his mother.
221
00:09:30,937 --> 00:09:32,337
Yeah, so what happened?
222
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:33,916
Well, bonzo decided
That his family
223
00:09:33,940 --> 00:09:35,284
Was more important
Than any revenge,
224
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:37,241
So he never laid
A hand on caruso.
225
00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,244
Is that it, is that the story?
226
00:09:39,312 --> 00:09:40,512
No, there's more.
227
00:09:40,580 --> 00:09:42,592
Bonzo's mother found
Out what happened anyway,
228
00:09:42,616 --> 00:09:43,992
And she went to
School the next week
229
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,484
And hit caruso with
An italian salami.
230
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,456
Nah, my mother would
Never hit nobody.
231
00:09:51,525 --> 00:09:53,591
She just prays, you know?
232
00:09:53,660 --> 00:09:56,861
Like she'd pray that caruso
Would have an accident.
233
00:09:59,599 --> 00:10:00,899
Vinnie, do me a favor.
234
00:10:00,967 --> 00:10:03,935
Promise me you won't do
Anything in school tomorrow.
235
00:10:04,004 --> 00:10:07,105
Well, I haven't done
Anything for two years.
236
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:09,374
What should make
Tomorrow any different?
237
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,083
Look, just give me 24 hours.
238
00:10:11,144 --> 00:10:12,889
I'll try and solve your problem.
239
00:10:12,913 --> 00:10:14,557
Nah, I don't think
I could do that.
240
00:10:14,581 --> 00:10:17,015
I'll give you to the
Same time tomorrow.
241
00:10:18,951 --> 00:10:22,721
Look...
242
00:10:22,789 --> 00:10:24,533
Vinnie, mr. Kotter
Will handle things,
243
00:10:24,557 --> 00:10:26,335
I know that he'll
Do the right thing.
244
00:10:26,359 --> 00:10:27,458
Oh, yeah, yeah.
245
00:10:27,527 --> 00:10:28,826
I hope.
246
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:30,773
Hey, mrs. Kotter, could I
Talk to you for a minute?
247
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,430
Sure, vinnie.
248
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,699
Look, now, um...
249
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:38,203
I don't want to tell you how to
Run your household or nothin',
250
00:10:38,271 --> 00:10:40,305
But people do like root beer.
251
00:10:44,077 --> 00:10:45,210
Bye, vinnie.
252
00:10:45,278 --> 00:10:46,958
Now, look, it don't
Matter what kind.
253
00:10:47,013 --> 00:10:48,213
Draft, regular...
254
00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:49,892
See you later, vinnie.
Have a nice night.
255
00:10:49,916 --> 00:10:51,627
And danish, a nice danish.
256
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,784
You drink the root
Beer, you eat the danish...
257
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:55,333
- bye.
- good time, right?
258
00:10:55,388 --> 00:10:57,255
- tomorrow.
- bye, vinnie.
259
00:10:57,324 --> 00:11:00,525
♪
260
00:11:06,366 --> 00:11:08,566
Brown-bagging it
Again, huh, kotter?
261
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:12,337
What's the matter,
Cafeteria too expensive?
262
00:11:12,405 --> 00:11:15,373
- have a grape, mr. Woodman.
- thank you.
263
00:11:15,441 --> 00:11:17,186
I think I'm gonna be
Brown-bagging a lot
264
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:18,821
After that lunch yesterday.
265
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:20,845
Oh, you mean the
Roast leg of surprise?
266
00:11:23,850 --> 00:11:25,449
Roast leg of surprise.
267
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:28,086
That's the stupidest idea
I've ever heard of in my life.
268
00:11:28,155 --> 00:11:30,354
Well, I enjoyed it very much.
269
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:34,091
Mine had a toy whistle in it.
270
00:11:34,160 --> 00:11:35,972
Mr. Pearlman was
The lucky one though.
271
00:11:35,996 --> 00:11:40,464
He got a complete
Set of luggage.
272
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:44,368
Go ahead, have some
More grapes, go ahead.
273
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:53,344
Mr. Woodman, let me give
You a hypothetical situation.
274
00:11:53,412 --> 00:11:55,913
Suppose two of your
Teachers had a confrontation.
275
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:57,915
What would you do?
276
00:11:57,984 --> 00:12:01,653
I'd probably fire you.
277
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,921
Can I have my grapes back?
278
00:12:03,990 --> 00:12:05,490
Who's the other teacher?
279
00:12:05,559 --> 00:12:06,924
Mr. Caruso.
280
00:12:06,993 --> 00:12:08,893
Oh, that's different.
281
00:12:08,962 --> 00:12:11,830
I'd definitely fire you.
282
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,966
Mr. Woodman, I don't know why
Everybody's afraid of caruso.
283
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:16,946
I mean, everyone knows
His methods are wrong,
284
00:12:16,970 --> 00:12:18,610
But nobody does
Anything about it.
285
00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,316
He's an ordinary
Man, mr. Woodman.
286
00:12:20,340 --> 00:12:23,775
Try to imagine him
In his underwear.
287
00:12:23,843 --> 00:12:26,778
Oh, you're sick.
288
00:12:26,846 --> 00:12:29,914
Sick, kotter!
289
00:12:29,982 --> 00:12:31,148
Oh, hello, lou.
290
00:12:31,217 --> 00:12:32,316
Hi, mr. Woodman.
291
00:12:32,385 --> 00:12:33,830
You know, lou, in
The twenty-odd years
292
00:12:33,854 --> 00:12:36,620
I've known you, I
Never once tried
293
00:12:36,690 --> 00:12:39,390
To imagine you in
Your underwear.
294
00:12:43,296 --> 00:12:46,263
Well, I think woodman's
Gone over the edge, kotter.
295
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:49,167
Yup, the old pilot
Light's gone out.
296
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,068
I think it's just a gas leak.
297
00:12:51,137 --> 00:12:52,804
Yeah, maybe.
298
00:12:52,872 --> 00:12:55,739
Anyway, I had a note in my
Box you wanted to see me.
299
00:12:55,809 --> 00:12:58,876
What's on your mind?
300
00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,256
Lou, how long we
Known each other?
301
00:13:00,280 --> 00:13:01,712
Fifteen, sixteen years?
302
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:03,848
Yeah, something like that.
303
00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:07,051
Yeah, you and your friend, bozo.
304
00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:08,786
Bonzo!
305
00:13:08,855 --> 00:13:10,054
Bonzo.
306
00:13:10,123 --> 00:13:13,191
He was the one who
Had that wacky mother.
307
00:13:13,259 --> 00:13:15,626
She hit me with a salami once.
308
00:13:15,695 --> 00:13:16,860
Remember?
309
00:13:16,929 --> 00:13:18,774
Well, she felt bad, you
Know, you hit her kid.
310
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:20,931
How'd you feel when she
Hit you with the salami?
311
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,933
Greasy.
312
00:13:23,002 --> 00:13:26,404
Lou, that's what I want
To talk to you about.
313
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,138
Hitting kids.
314
00:13:28,208 --> 00:13:29,873
Namely one vinnie barbarino.
315
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,008
Now, look, gabe.
316
00:13:31,077 --> 00:13:32,910
I like you, we get
Along just fine.
317
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,256
Let's keep it that way.
318
00:13:34,280 --> 00:13:37,615
You work your way,
I'll work mine, okay?
319
00:13:37,684 --> 00:13:39,450
Lou, when I was a student
320
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,199
And I heard that
You punched a kid,
321
00:13:41,254 --> 00:13:42,486
It bothered me.
322
00:13:42,555 --> 00:13:45,089
Now that I'm a teacher,
It bothers me a lot more.
323
00:13:45,157 --> 00:13:46,602
Especially when they're my kids.
324
00:13:46,626 --> 00:13:48,403
Now, listen, gabe,
This is a tough school
325
00:13:48,427 --> 00:13:49,526
With tough kids.
326
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:51,563
I teach them the
Best way I know how.
327
00:13:51,631 --> 00:13:53,575
Once in a while, one of
Them gets a little too fresh
328
00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,499
And I might slap one of them.
329
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,168
Slap now, not punch.
330
00:13:57,237 --> 00:13:59,070
It's nothing, anyway.
331
00:13:59,138 --> 00:14:01,272
It was something to barbarino.
332
00:14:01,341 --> 00:14:02,539
Barbarino?
333
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:05,309
Oh, gabe, let me tell
You about this barbarino.
334
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:06,722
Now, all week long, that kid
335
00:14:06,746 --> 00:14:09,279
Has been making
Wisecracks in my class,
336
00:14:09,348 --> 00:14:11,582
But yesterday, he
Went nuts on me.
337
00:14:11,651 --> 00:14:13,462
He jumped up on
Top of a side horse
338
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,130
And starts hollering
Out his name.
339
00:14:15,154 --> 00:14:19,490
♪ ba ba, ba barbarino ♪
340
00:14:19,558 --> 00:14:22,360
I swear, there's something
Wrong with that boy, gabe.
341
00:14:22,429 --> 00:14:24,039
Anyway, I took
Him into my office
342
00:14:24,063 --> 00:14:25,107
For a little talk, you know?
343
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:26,442
I said, "Now, listen, kid,
344
00:14:26,466 --> 00:14:28,077
I don't want to hear any
More of those wisecracks."
345
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:29,566
He said, "What?"
346
00:14:29,635 --> 00:14:30,934
Now he talks.
347
00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:33,082
I said, "The wisecracks
You've been making all week."
348
00:14:33,106 --> 00:14:35,473
He said, "Where?"
349
00:14:35,541 --> 00:14:36,785
I said, "In the gym."
350
00:14:36,809 --> 00:14:39,410
He said, "Why?"
351
00:14:39,478 --> 00:14:41,378
Gabe, this thing
Was driving me crazy.
352
00:14:41,447 --> 00:14:44,048
Anyway, all of a sudden, he
Just gets up and walks out.
353
00:14:44,117 --> 00:14:46,550
Well, I gave a little
Shot, didn't even hurt him.
354
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:47,897
Anyway, then he
Turned around and said,
355
00:14:47,921 --> 00:14:49,653
"What'd you do that for?"
356
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,924
So, just like
Him, I said, "What?"
357
00:14:52,992 --> 00:14:54,926
He said, "What'd
You hit me for?"
358
00:14:54,994 --> 00:14:57,061
I said, "Where?"
359
00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,429
And then he just left.
360
00:14:58,498 --> 00:15:00,765
It's nothin', look, I'll
See you tomorrow.
361
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:03,000
Lou!
362
00:15:03,069 --> 00:15:04,802
Slapping, punching, it's no way
363
00:15:04,871 --> 00:15:06,215
To get through to a kid.
364
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:07,771
It's just wrong.
365
00:15:07,841 --> 00:15:09,418
Plus you were
Indiscreet, you slapped him
366
00:15:09,442 --> 00:15:11,375
Right in front of
A girls' gym class.
367
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:14,478
Yeah, well, it wasn't
Supposed to happen that way.
368
00:15:14,547 --> 00:15:16,013
Well, it did.
369
00:15:16,082 --> 00:15:17,526
Vinnie's gonna do
Something about it,
370
00:15:17,550 --> 00:15:19,650
Not because he wants to,
371
00:15:19,719 --> 00:15:20,929
He feels he has to.
372
00:15:20,953 --> 00:15:23,987
Come on, now, gabe,
Just what is he gonna do?
373
00:15:24,056 --> 00:15:25,901
Lou, I don't think
You understand.
374
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:27,191
You humiliated him.
375
00:15:27,260 --> 00:15:28,693
He's a street kid.
376
00:15:28,761 --> 00:15:30,801
He's not a scholar,
He's not an athlete.
377
00:15:30,863 --> 00:15:33,264
He's got his
Pride, his position.
378
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,399
You take that away from
Him, what's he got left?
379
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:38,869
His big mouth, that's
What he's got left.
380
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:41,205
What do you want me
To do anyway, apologize?
381
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:43,114
Yes, I want you to
Come to my class
382
00:15:43,142 --> 00:15:44,553
This afternoon, I'm
Gonna have vinnie
383
00:15:44,577 --> 00:15:47,111
Say he's sorry for
Making the wisecracks,
384
00:15:47,180 --> 00:15:49,225
And I want you to say
You're sorry for hitting him.
385
00:15:49,249 --> 00:15:50,514
Now, wait a minute, gabe.
386
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:53,184
Look, I'm sorry that the
Girls saw what happened,
387
00:15:53,253 --> 00:15:54,497
But really now, come on,
388
00:15:54,521 --> 00:15:56,787
Don't ask me to apologize
In front of a class,
389
00:15:56,856 --> 00:15:58,556
Especially this class.
390
00:15:58,624 --> 00:15:59,824
Listen, gabe,
391
00:15:59,892 --> 00:16:02,226
I've been in this
School 28 years.
392
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:05,296
I got my pride, I
Got my position.
393
00:16:05,364 --> 00:16:06,297
Your what?
394
00:16:06,365 --> 00:16:14,365
My pride, my... Like
Vinnie barbarino?
395
00:16:15,775 --> 00:16:18,809
Listen, gabe, I'm
A good teacher.
396
00:16:18,878 --> 00:16:21,078
Those kids respect me.
397
00:16:21,147 --> 00:16:24,582
Lou, they fear you.
398
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:26,629
Come here this afternoon
And give them a chance
399
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:30,154
To respect you.
400
00:16:30,223 --> 00:16:32,223
Okay.
401
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,358
Okay, gabe.
402
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:50,541
Vinnie, vinnie.
403
00:16:50,610 --> 00:16:52,343
How'd it go in gym today?
404
00:16:52,411 --> 00:16:53,710
I didn't go.
405
00:16:53,779 --> 00:16:56,514
I wasn't gonna spend
40 minutes in that class.
406
00:16:56,582 --> 00:16:58,983
Hey, your time is
Up. What'd you do?
407
00:16:59,052 --> 00:17:00,663
Vinnie, I think I
Solved your problem.
408
00:17:00,687 --> 00:17:02,787
Caruso is coming
To our class today.
409
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:03,888
What?
410
00:17:03,957 --> 00:17:06,023
What did I cut gym for?
411
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:09,960
Listen, I made a deal.
412
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,109
When he comes in, I want
You to apologize to him.
413
00:17:12,165 --> 00:17:15,432
Then I'm gonna...
That's some deal.
414
00:17:15,502 --> 00:17:17,935
I get hit, and I gotta
Apologize to him?
415
00:17:18,004 --> 00:17:21,372
It's a good thing I
Didn't give you 48 hours.
416
00:17:21,441 --> 00:17:26,077
You'd have me
Painting his garage.
417
00:17:26,146 --> 00:17:27,945
- let me finish, okay?
- all right.
418
00:17:28,014 --> 00:17:30,080
Now after you apologize
To him, he's gonna say
419
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:32,028
That he's sorry for hitting you.
420
00:17:32,052 --> 00:17:33,216
Yeah?
421
00:17:33,285 --> 00:17:34,652
You're kiddin'.
422
00:17:34,720 --> 00:17:37,087
In this class right over
Here, the sweathogs?
423
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,201
Okay, then you're gonna
Shake hands with the man,
424
00:17:39,225 --> 00:17:41,258
And the whole thing
Is gonna be over, okay?
425
00:17:41,327 --> 00:17:43,361
Wait a minute, let
Me think about it.
426
00:17:43,429 --> 00:17:44,940
All right, let me think.
427
00:17:44,964 --> 00:17:47,398
He comes in the class
And I say to him I'm sorry,
428
00:17:47,466 --> 00:17:49,733
And the guys go, "Whoa,
I can't believe it," right?
429
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:52,803
And then he says to me,
"I'm sorry for hitting you."
430
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:55,973
And the kids go, "Wow!"
431
00:17:56,042 --> 00:17:58,042
All right, I'll do it.
432
00:18:01,547 --> 00:18:04,248
Hey, vinnie, vinnie,
Didn't see in gym class,
433
00:18:04,317 --> 00:18:05,415
Did we, guys?
434
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,951
No, no, that's because
Vinnie didn't want
435
00:18:08,020 --> 00:18:10,621
To meet up with another right...
436
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:12,456
From mr. Caruso.
437
00:18:12,525 --> 00:18:14,358
Oh, come on, you guys.
438
00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:18,161
I do not blame vinnie
For being afraid.
439
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:22,132
Mr. Caruso is a
Very brute person.
440
00:18:22,201 --> 00:18:25,235
He's a bully,
And... And a meanie.
441
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:29,640
And here he is now!
Hello, mr. Caruso!
442
00:18:29,708 --> 00:18:33,944
Good afternoon, people.
443
00:18:34,013 --> 00:18:39,883
Vinnie.
444
00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:45,089
Um, mr. Caruso, I'd
Just like to say to you...
445
00:18:45,158 --> 00:18:46,902
I'd like to say to
You that I'm sorry
446
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,226
For mouthing off
In gym all week.
447
00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,061
I didn't hear that!
448
00:18:51,130 --> 00:18:53,164
I hear nothing.
449
00:18:53,232 --> 00:18:55,077
If I didn't hear that
With my own eyes,
450
00:18:55,101 --> 00:18:58,035
I wouldn't have believed it.
451
00:18:58,104 --> 00:18:59,915
Just wait a minute, would
You, just wait a minute.
452
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:02,272
He's got something
To say to me, all right?
453
00:19:02,341 --> 00:19:04,175
Okay, go ahead.
454
00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:11,115
Lou, don't you have,
Uh, anything to say?
455
00:19:11,184 --> 00:19:12,828
Yeah, he's got a lot to say.
456
00:19:12,852 --> 00:19:15,386
Go ahead.
457
00:19:15,454 --> 00:19:18,889
He's gonna say that
He's sorry that he hit me,
458
00:19:18,958 --> 00:19:23,027
And then he's gonna apologize
In front of the whole class.
459
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,496
Go on, say it, go ahead.
460
00:19:26,565 --> 00:19:31,101
Oh, come on!
461
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,470
Say it!
462
00:19:33,540 --> 00:19:35,873
Let's hear it, speak up!
463
00:19:35,942 --> 00:19:37,474
A deal was made.
464
00:19:37,544 --> 00:19:41,012
That's right, a deal was
Made, and the deal was
465
00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:44,115
That you were supposed to
Apologize to me in this class,
466
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,783
Then I was supposed
To apologize to you,
467
00:19:46,852 --> 00:19:48,652
But I'm not gonna do that.
468
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:50,054
Oh, I don't believe this.
469
00:19:50,122 --> 00:19:53,557
No, that's just
Not my style, son.
470
00:19:53,626 --> 00:19:56,160
My style is to
Settle this like a man.
471
00:19:58,864 --> 00:20:03,167
What?
472
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:05,135
Settle it, that's what.
473
00:20:05,204 --> 00:20:08,038
Where?
474
00:20:08,107 --> 00:20:09,539
Right here.
475
00:20:09,608 --> 00:20:12,142
When?
476
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,346
Right now. Stand up, barbarino.
477
00:20:15,414 --> 00:20:19,283
Come over here.
478
00:20:19,352 --> 00:20:20,551
Lou, what are you doing?
479
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:22,164
Just relax, will you, gabe?
480
00:20:22,188 --> 00:20:24,021
Relax.
481
00:20:24,089 --> 00:20:27,625
All right now, barbarino.
482
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,627
I challenge you to arm wrestle.
483
00:20:31,931 --> 00:20:33,331
You're in shape.
484
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:35,177
It's a good thing you
Told me "Arm wrestling,"
485
00:20:35,201 --> 00:20:37,201
I was getting scared over there.
486
00:20:37,269 --> 00:20:40,738
I didn't want to hurt you.
487
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:43,140
You know, my hands,
They're registered.
488
00:20:43,209 --> 00:20:45,275
At every drive-in in brooklyn.
489
00:20:49,782 --> 00:20:51,014
Well, okay, wise guy,
490
00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:52,916
Let's go, let's
See what you got.
491
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:55,453
Oh!
492
00:20:55,521 --> 00:20:58,256
Dueling forearms!
493
00:20:58,324 --> 00:20:59,823
How macho!
494
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:01,091
All right.
495
00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:03,004
All right, now, look, I'm
Gonna hold your hands.
496
00:21:03,028 --> 00:21:05,395
Now, when I count to
Three, you start to go, okay?
497
00:21:05,465 --> 00:21:06,508
Now, brace yourselves.
498
00:21:06,532 --> 00:21:08,899
One, two, three.
499
00:21:17,777 --> 00:21:19,209
Hey, look, look, look!
500
00:21:19,278 --> 00:21:20,945
There's woodman!
501
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:23,981
Hey!
502
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,482
Easy, easy, easy!
503
00:21:25,551 --> 00:21:27,651
Vinnie, come on.
504
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,621
You do this right,
Whether you win or lose.
505
00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,189
Put your arm up there.
506
00:21:32,258 --> 00:21:34,959
Now, you don't use this arm,
And you stay on the floor, okay?
507
00:21:35,027 --> 00:21:37,594
All right, I lost my
Head for a second.
508
00:21:37,663 --> 00:21:38,863
All right.
509
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:41,632
One, two, three, go ahead.
510
00:22:02,088 --> 00:22:04,021
Well, you may
Be a wise guy, kid,
511
00:22:04,090 --> 00:22:05,734
But you got a great
Forearm there.
512
00:22:05,758 --> 00:22:07,024
Congratulations.
513
00:22:07,092 --> 00:22:11,529
Yeah, well, you ain't so
Bad yourself for an old man.
514
00:22:11,597 --> 00:22:13,542
And listen, the rest
Of you wise guys here,
515
00:22:13,566 --> 00:22:15,806
I'll see you in gym class
Tomorrow and don't be late.
516
00:22:15,868 --> 00:22:17,428
- right.
- and vinnie...
517
00:22:17,470 --> 00:22:20,104
I'll mark you present
In gym class today.
518
00:22:20,173 --> 00:22:22,739
He hit me again!
519
00:22:22,808 --> 00:22:24,641
Hey, that was a little joke.
520
00:22:24,710 --> 00:22:26,477
See you tomorrow, kids.
521
00:22:26,546 --> 00:22:28,745
You did good, man,
You did all right.
522
00:22:34,954 --> 00:22:37,221
I gotta ask you
One question, lou.
523
00:22:37,289 --> 00:22:39,623
Did you let vinnie beat you?
524
00:22:39,691 --> 00:22:41,625
You're a hell of
A teacher, gabe.
525
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,026
Put her there.
526
00:22:46,665 --> 00:22:49,032
You know something, gabe?
527
00:22:49,101 --> 00:22:53,103
When you went to
School here, I taught you,
528
00:22:53,172 --> 00:22:55,839
But today, you taught me.
529
00:22:55,907 --> 00:22:57,385
Well, I'll tell you something,
530
00:22:57,409 --> 00:23:00,377
You're a better
Student than I was.
531
00:23:00,446 --> 00:23:02,112
Listen, gabe,
532
00:23:02,181 --> 00:23:05,849
Everybody was a better
Student than you were.
533
00:23:05,918 --> 00:23:07,818
I'll see you later.
534
00:23:09,989 --> 00:23:15,626
♪
535
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:21,276
Julie, did I ever tell you
About what happened last year
536
00:23:21,300 --> 00:23:23,260
When my uncle moe
Went to miami beach?
537
00:23:23,302 --> 00:23:24,768
No, go ahead.
538
00:23:24,837 --> 00:23:26,448
Okay, my uncle
Moe's in miami beach,
539
00:23:26,472 --> 00:23:28,183
And he's at the hotel,
Right, staying at a hotel,
540
00:23:28,207 --> 00:23:30,018
He wants to go swimming,
So he goes down to the pool,
541
00:23:30,042 --> 00:23:31,920
He's about to jump
In, and a little old man
542
00:23:31,944 --> 00:23:33,522
Is sitting there in a
Lounge chair, right,
543
00:23:33,546 --> 00:23:34,612
Just getting his sun.
544
00:23:34,680 --> 00:23:35,857
My uncle moe says to him,
545
00:23:35,881 --> 00:23:37,659
"Excuse me, sir,
How's the water?"
546
00:23:37,683 --> 00:23:39,116
What did the old man say?
547
00:23:39,184 --> 00:23:42,585
Old man says, "Lukewarm."
548
00:23:42,654 --> 00:23:44,399
So, lou jumps into the pool,
549
00:23:44,423 --> 00:23:47,257
And it's freezing, it's
Like polar bear time.
550
00:23:47,326 --> 00:23:48,458
Ice, right?
551
00:23:48,527 --> 00:23:50,727
He swims as fast as he
Can to the other side,
552
00:23:50,796 --> 00:23:53,596
He gets out, he's cold,
553
00:23:53,665 --> 00:23:55,143
He goes up to the old man,
554
00:23:55,167 --> 00:23:57,634
He says, "How
Could you tell me..."
555
00:23:59,238 --> 00:24:01,972
"That that water was lukewarm?"
556
00:24:02,041 --> 00:24:03,718
The old man said,
"Well, I don't know,
557
00:24:03,742 --> 00:24:05,742
Looked warm to me."
558
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:10,581
♪
559
00:24:13,318 --> 00:24:19,189
♪
560
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:23,760
♪ welcome back ♪
561
00:24:23,829 --> 00:24:27,498
♪ your dreams were
Your ticket out ♪
562
00:24:27,566 --> 00:24:29,666
♪ welcome back ♪
563
00:24:29,735 --> 00:24:34,304
♪ to that same old place
That you laughed about ♪
564
00:24:34,373 --> 00:24:36,706
♪ well the names
Have all changed
565
00:24:36,775 --> 00:24:38,842
Since you hung around ♪
566
00:24:38,911 --> 00:24:41,011
♪ but those dreams have remained
567
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,280
And they've turned around ♪
568
00:24:43,349 --> 00:24:45,349
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
569
00:24:45,418 --> 00:24:47,338
♪ who'd have thought
They'd lead ya ♪
570
00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:49,353
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
571
00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:51,589
♪ back here where we need ya ♪
572
00:24:51,657 --> 00:24:53,556
♪ yeah, we tease him a lot
573
00:24:53,625 --> 00:24:55,826
'cause we got him on the spot ♪
574
00:24:55,894 --> 00:24:58,162
♪ welcome back ♪
575
00:24:58,230 --> 00:25:02,433
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪
576
00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:06,603
♪ welcome back, welcome
Back, welcome back ♪♪
41134
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