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1
00:00:02,133 --> 00:00:05,166
(man on TV)
'Erica, darling,
I have bad news.'
2
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,366
'I'm leaving you
for another man.'
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:08,333
You're wrong.
You're wrong, homey!
4
00:00:08,366 --> 00:00:10,500
You're wrong!
5
00:00:11,283 --> 00:00:13,000
Trifler.
6
00:00:16,133 --> 00:00:19,100
(Erica on TV)
'I have news
for you too, Lance.'
7
00:00:20,660 --> 00:00:22,330
'It's the dog.'
8
00:00:22,660 --> 00:00:24,330
'Tiffany's dead.'
9
00:00:24,660 --> 00:00:25,150
Oh, God.
10
00:00:28,830 --> 00:00:31,500
'And to think
she just had puppies.'
11
00:00:31,333 --> 00:00:33,183
[sobbing]
12
00:00:37,250 --> 00:00:39,116
[crying]
13
00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:43,333
You ain't cryin',
are you, man?
14
00:00:44,266 --> 00:00:46,333
Oh, no, no, no.
15
00:00:46,366 --> 00:00:49,216
I just got
somethin'
in my eye, that's
all.
16
00:00:51,330 --> 00:00:52,383
Yeah, me too.
17
00:00:55,500 --> 00:00:56,100
The puppies, man!
18
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,116
[both crying]
19
00:00:59,330 --> 00:01:00,383
[theme song]
20
00:01:02,116 --> 00:01:03,350
♪ We're brothers ♪
21
00:01:03,383 --> 00:01:08,183
♪ We're happy and we're
singin'
and we're colored ♪
22
00:01:08,216 --> 00:01:10,350
♪ Give me a high five ♪♪
23
00:01:10,383 --> 00:01:13,160
(male #1)
'Alright, cut and print.
Beautiful, guys.'
24
00:01:13,500 --> 00:01:14,316
'Dynamite. That is..'
25
00:01:14,350 --> 00:01:17,216
♪ Girl what you got
goin' on tonight? ♪
26
00:01:17,250 --> 00:01:19,383
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
27
00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,150
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
28
00:01:22,183 --> 00:01:24,283
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
29
00:01:24,316 --> 00:01:27,660
♪ Girl what you got
going on tonight? ♪
30
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:29,660
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
31
00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:31,366
♪ Won't you just chill
with me tonight ♪
32
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:33,383
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪
33
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:35,233
♪ I got something
that you gonna like ♪♪
34
00:01:44,330 --> 00:01:45,266
[applause]
35
00:01:47,500 --> 00:01:48,100
Not bad, pops.
36
00:01:48,133 --> 00:01:49,266
These poetry readings sure is
37
00:01:49,300 --> 00:01:51,133
bringin' in some extra business.
38
00:01:51,166 --> 00:01:54,166
I don't give a blip
about poetry, son.
39
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,500
All I know
is those little artsy kids
40
00:01:56,830 --> 00:01:58,316
love spendin' $5
for a cup of coffee.
41
00:02:00,330 --> 00:02:02,000
[humming]
42
00:02:04,383 --> 00:02:07,200
- Cappuccino.
- Thanks.
43
00:02:07,233 --> 00:02:09,660
- Cafe latte.
- Mm.
44
00:02:10,233 --> 00:02:14,150
And a bran muffin.
That'll be $15, please.
45
00:02:16,183 --> 00:02:18,350
Thank you.
Ooh! Only in America.
46
00:02:18,383 --> 00:02:20,116
[humming]
47
00:02:24,330 --> 00:02:25,160
Boop!
48
00:02:26,316 --> 00:02:30,383
Here you go. One cafe
Michael Jackson, extra light.
49
00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:33,660
And gettin' lighter
all the time.
50
00:02:34,150 --> 00:02:35,383
Yo, Marl, man,
where's this girl of yours?
51
00:02:36,160 --> 00:02:37,216
I've been waitin' here an
hour.
I gotta go.
52
00:02:37,250 --> 00:02:39,333
Chill. She's comin'.
She'll be here at, like,
9:00.
53
00:02:39,366 --> 00:02:41,366
'I tell you, Shawn,
this girl got everything'
54
00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:45,100
I want in a girl and more.
She has all her teeth.
55
00:02:46,250 --> 00:02:48,660
Both her legs.
56
00:02:49,233 --> 00:02:51,330
No mustache.
57
00:02:52,330 --> 00:02:55,500
And, Shawn, she can read.
58
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:57,150
Man, you better marry that.
59
00:02:57,183 --> 00:02:59,383
I'm telling you.
I know how this
goes.
60
00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:01,233
Yo, man, I gotta
get out of here though.
61
00:03:01,266 --> 00:03:03,316
I gotta go see Lisa.
I've barely seen her all
week.
62
00:03:03,350 --> 00:03:05,660
Oh, I forget.
63
00:03:05,100 --> 00:03:06,233
That's right,
she snaps her fingers
64
00:03:06,266 --> 00:03:09,166
and you just go runnin', huh?
65
00:03:09,200 --> 00:03:11,166
Alright, alright. I'm
gonna
wait five more minutes.
66
00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,500
Just five more minutes and
then,
maybe I'll go see Lisa.
67
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,150
If I feel like it.
68
00:03:17,183 --> 00:03:18,166
[blows]
69
00:03:22,266 --> 00:03:25,250
Shawn, yo, yo,
that's her right
there.
70
00:03:25,283 --> 00:03:27,350
'Oh, she is so fine.'
71
00:03:30,216 --> 00:03:32,183
Well, what do you
think
are my chances?
72
00:03:32,216 --> 00:03:33,366
You got about as much
of a chance
73
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,133
at a skinhead or in Def Jam.
74
00:03:41,330 --> 00:03:42,116
Okay, everybody, welcome
75
00:03:42,150 --> 00:03:44,200
to Pop's Tuesday Night
Poetry Reading.
76
00:03:44,233 --> 00:03:45,250
Come on.
77
00:03:45,283 --> 00:03:47,000
[applause]
78
00:03:47,330 --> 00:03:49,200
Our next poem
is by Matty Embers.
79
00:03:49,233 --> 00:03:53,150
He's a good poet, but more
importantly, he's a big
tipper.
80
00:03:55,500 --> 00:03:56,183
Go on, Matt!
81
00:03:59,233 --> 00:04:01,830
[clears throat]
82
00:04:01,116 --> 00:04:04,166
"The sun sets slowly
on the sea.
83
00:04:05,233 --> 00:04:08,330
"Will you be my friend today?
84
00:04:09,830 --> 00:04:11,133
"Darkness, silence
85
00:04:11,166 --> 00:04:14,250
and then, a tear."
86
00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:19,000
[applause]
87
00:04:24,316 --> 00:04:28,133
[moans]
That was so deep
88
00:04:28,166 --> 00:04:30,150
potent, and moving.
89
00:04:30,183 --> 00:04:32,500
Didn't you think so?
90
00:04:34,100 --> 00:04:37,300
Uh, what he means is,
he appreciates the sun
91
00:04:38,316 --> 00:04:41,316
as the symbolism of...life.
92
00:04:41,350 --> 00:04:44,266
Yes! That's it exactly.
93
00:04:44,300 --> 00:04:47,166
I just love men
that can express
94
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:49,200
deep emotions.
95
00:04:49,233 --> 00:04:51,233
That's funny you should say
that, 'cause Marlon over here
96
00:04:51,266 --> 00:04:55,100
can express deep emotion.
Right, Marlon?
97
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:58,266
Marlon?
Marlon?
98
00:04:58,300 --> 00:05:00,200
[yells]
Pain!
99
00:05:00,233 --> 00:05:02,283
Pain.
100
00:05:02,316 --> 00:05:05,250
Terrible sadness and pain.
101
00:05:14,366 --> 00:05:17,200
Valerie. Valerie. Valerie.
102
00:05:18,300 --> 00:05:19,350
[sighs]
103
00:05:19,383 --> 00:05:22,166
Mr. and Mrs. Valerie Williams.
104
00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:26,216
I sure hope our daughters
look like her.
105
00:05:26,250 --> 00:05:29,233
Yeah, well, if not, they
could
always join the circus.
106
00:05:31,316 --> 00:05:33,350
So, what do you think?
You think she likes me?
107
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,266
Marlon, you didn't
say
a word all night.
108
00:05:35,300 --> 00:05:37,116
She thinks you're a mute.
109
00:05:37,150 --> 00:05:39,830
Yeah, well,
that's why I had you there.
110
00:05:39,116 --> 00:05:40,233
Look how late it is, man.
111
00:05:40,266 --> 00:05:42,500
Lisa's gonna kill me
for blowin' her off.
112
00:05:42,830 --> 00:05:43,366
I don't feel too well, man.
113
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,200
I feel dizzy
and my stomach is hurting.
114
00:05:46,233 --> 00:05:49,183
- What's wrong with me?
- You're in love, kid.
115
00:05:49,216 --> 00:05:52,266
Either that or you pregnant
again, you little fish.
116
00:05:57,250 --> 00:06:00,233
Who am I foolin', man?
She ain't gonna like me.
117
00:06:00,266 --> 00:06:02,233
She's all smart.
You heard her.
118
00:06:02,266 --> 00:06:04,316
She goes
to a two-year college.
119
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,300
Marlon, love has
no barriers, okay?
120
00:06:09,333 --> 00:06:11,830
Look at me and Lisa.
121
00:06:11,116 --> 00:06:12,266
Her father's a heart surgeon
122
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:15,233
and my father sells pig feet
and coffee.
123
00:06:15,266 --> 00:06:18,183
Yeah, I'm too good
for her. Yeah.
124
00:06:18,216 --> 00:06:20,316
But we're still together.
125
00:06:20,350 --> 00:06:22,316
- You think so?
- Yeah.
126
00:06:22,350 --> 00:06:24,500
You just gotta get to know her.
127
00:06:24,830 --> 00:06:26,316
- What does she like?
- Poetry.
128
00:06:26,350 --> 00:06:28,116
- 'Boom.'
- She likes poetry.
129
00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:30,283
- 'Ehh.'
- I could do some poetries
too.
130
00:06:30,316 --> 00:06:33,183
- I saw the "Dolemite" movies.
- Mm-hm.
131
00:06:33,216 --> 00:06:35,166
I-I bought Kurtis Blow's
comeback album.
132
00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:37,233
- Yeah.
- I've seen "Poetic
Justice."
133
00:06:37,266 --> 00:06:38,316
- Okay.
- "The Fi--"
134
00:06:38,350 --> 00:06:41,133
- Okay, come on now!
- I'm writing.
135
00:06:42,183 --> 00:06:43,350
Hm..
136
00:06:43,383 --> 00:06:46,266
"You and me
137
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:49,366
"would be a doozy..
138
00:06:52,660 --> 00:06:54,183
"...if we got naked..
139
00:06:54,216 --> 00:06:56,233
...in my Jacuzzi."
140
00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:04,660
That ain't no poetry.
That's pornography.
141
00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:06,350
- I'll show you poetry.
- Well, alright.
142
00:07:06,383 --> 00:07:09,383
"With a whist...of the wind
143
00:07:11,333 --> 00:07:15,200
"my heart...was stolen.
144
00:07:17,150 --> 00:07:20,660
"Gone forever..
145
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:21,350
"...by a dream..
146
00:07:21,383 --> 00:07:25,116
...called...Valerie."
147
00:07:29,133 --> 00:07:31,333
That was beautiful.
148
00:07:31,366 --> 00:07:34,250
- Take me, sailor.
- Oh, come on, man.
149
00:07:36,366 --> 00:07:39,100
- What you got there, son?
- Nothin'.
150
00:07:39,133 --> 00:07:40,316
For the past week,
I've been writing
Marlon
151
00:07:40,350 --> 00:07:43,250
a little love poetry.
152
00:07:43,283 --> 00:07:46,133
You're writing your brother
a love poetry?
153
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,160
What kind of weirdness
are you two practicing
154
00:07:48,500 --> 00:07:49,216
back there
in that apartment?
155
00:07:49,250 --> 00:07:51,316
'I told your mom you should've
slept in bunk beds.'
156
00:07:53,183 --> 00:07:57,330
Sixteen-year-old cuddle up
like
that. It just ain't natural.
157
00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,350
No. See, I write it
for Marlon.
158
00:08:00,383 --> 00:08:03,830
And then he gives it
to the girl.
159
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:04,366
Oh-h, that's good.
160
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,300
That's good you're helpin'
your brother, Shawn.
161
00:08:06,333 --> 00:08:09,166
'Cause he's gonna need
some poetry to get a woman.
162
00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,183
You know, he's not as pretty
as you and me.
163
00:08:12,216 --> 00:08:15,216
Hey, Shawn, Shawn, look!
It worked.
164
00:08:15,250 --> 00:08:19,366
Valerie wrote me back and
this time she left her number.
165
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,216
What'd I tell you,
boy?
I ain't surprised.
166
00:08:22,250 --> 00:08:24,250
I know women.
167
00:08:24,283 --> 00:08:27,000
Now, Marlon, I'm proud of you.
168
00:08:27,330 --> 00:08:29,300
- Now you're using your head.
- Thank you.
169
00:08:29,333 --> 00:08:31,366
- Shawn, here. Call her.
- Me?
170
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,300
Yeah, I don't know
what to say to her.
171
00:08:33,333 --> 00:08:35,000
Come on, call up
and make a date.
172
00:08:35,330 --> 00:08:37,133
I don't think
so.
You're
buggin'.
173
00:08:37,166 --> 00:08:38,333
Oh, I see.
174
00:08:38,366 --> 00:08:40,233
You don't think
you could get her to say yes.
175
00:08:40,266 --> 00:08:43,330
I mean, you being whipped
by Lisa and all
176
00:08:43,660 --> 00:08:45,383
you probably lost your touch.
I'll do it myself.
177
00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:48,116
Give me the phone!
178
00:08:49,300 --> 00:08:51,366
Uh-uh-uh-uh-uh.
179
00:08:56,660 --> 00:08:57,300
You can take her to Bordeaux.
180
00:08:57,333 --> 00:09:00,200
That's Lisa's
favorite
restaurant.
181
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:02,660
Hello, Valerie?
182
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:05,183
Yeah, it's me, Marlon.
The hopeless romantic.
183
00:09:05,216 --> 00:09:07,116
- Cute romantic.
- Shut up.
184
00:09:07,150 --> 00:09:08,316
Uh, yeah, I was
wonderin'
if I could take you out
185
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:11,166
to dinner tomorrow
night
at Bordeaux.
186
00:09:11,200 --> 00:09:13,350
Oh, you're busy?
187
00:09:13,383 --> 00:09:17,116
"My heart bleeds a river
of tears for your love."
188
00:09:18,300 --> 00:09:21,183
You can
change your plans?
Great!
189
00:09:21,216 --> 00:09:23,316
So I'll see you tomorrow
night,
8 o'clock, Bordeaux.
190
00:09:23,350 --> 00:09:25,160
Alright, my sweetness.
191
00:09:25,500 --> 00:09:28,330
- Yes!
- Take care.
192
00:09:28,660 --> 00:09:29,366
Damn, I'm good.
193
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:32,333
[both laughing]
194
00:09:39,283 --> 00:09:42,116
Oh, damn. Oh, man.
195
00:09:42,150 --> 00:09:44,266
That Urkel
sure does crack me
up.
196
00:09:44,300 --> 00:09:46,233
I'll grab us
a couple of sodas.
197
00:09:46,266 --> 00:09:49,283
Why can't he just buy
some pants that fit?
198
00:09:49,316 --> 00:09:51,266
What's this?
199
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:54,660
"Your eyes arouse desire?"
200
00:09:54,100 --> 00:09:56,333
Shawn, whose eyes arouse desire?
201
00:09:56,366 --> 00:09:58,366
Oh. Oh, That's Marlon's.
202
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,283
But, Shawn,
this is your handwriting.
203
00:10:00,316 --> 00:10:03,383
- Yeah, I know, but--
- Who is Valerie?
204
00:10:04,160 --> 00:10:06,333
Valerie is a girl that I
met..
I mean, Marlon met.
205
00:10:06,366 --> 00:10:08,330
Oh, okay, okay.
206
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:09,333
So, this is who you were with
the other night
207
00:10:09,366 --> 00:10:11,233
when you said you were helping
Marlon, isn't it?
208
00:10:11,266 --> 00:10:13,160
Baby, you're gettin'
this
all wrong.
209
00:10:13,500 --> 00:10:15,660
I don't know
what's wrong with
you.
210
00:10:15,100 --> 00:10:17,000
I can't believe this.
211
00:10:17,330 --> 00:10:19,150
- You're cheatin' on me.
- What?
212
00:10:19,183 --> 00:10:22,000
Hey, y'all, don't mind me. I
just came to get my
basketball.
213
00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:23,166
The boys are waitin'
downstairs for me.
214
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,133
- Marlon, wait. Come back!
- What's up?
215
00:10:25,166 --> 00:10:27,160
Please, don't lie.
216
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:30,500
- Who wrote this poem?
- Shawn.
217
00:10:31,216 --> 00:10:34,330
And tell her
who I wrote it for.
218
00:10:34,660 --> 00:10:36,830
- For Valerie.
- Exactly.
219
00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:38,830
Alright, gotta go,
guys.
Take care.
220
00:10:38,116 --> 00:10:40,160
No, wait.
Hold on! Marlon!
221
00:10:40,500 --> 00:10:41,166
Marlon, come back!
222
00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:43,283
Why, Shawn?
So he can lie for you?
223
00:10:43,316 --> 00:10:46,316
You don't believe me, do you?
See, this is makin' me mad.
224
00:10:46,350 --> 00:10:49,000
If you think I'm a liar, why
don't you just call me a
liar?
225
00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:51,500
Shawn, you're a liar.
226
00:10:52,150 --> 00:10:54,830
You're gonna apologize
for that.
227
00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,150
I'mma count to three, alright?
228
00:10:56,183 --> 00:10:57,266
One..
229
00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:02,150
...two..
230
00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:04,160
[chuckles]
Yeah.
231
00:11:05,116 --> 00:11:06,216
I knew it.
Go ahead, just say it.
232
00:11:06,250 --> 00:11:09,500
All you gotta do
is say sorry and you know
233
00:11:09,830 --> 00:11:11,250
I'll forgive you
and we'll go back to
watching..
234
00:11:13,830 --> 00:11:15,116
Ain't that a bitch?
235
00:11:21,660 --> 00:11:24,283
Man, she trippin'. Girl get
a new weave, thinks she cute.
236
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:29,000
Now, remember,
when we go to the restaurant
237
00:11:29,330 --> 00:11:31,166
you gotta secretly pass me
poetic things
238
00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:33,116
to say to Valerie, okay?
239
00:11:33,150 --> 00:11:34,216
I can't believe I called Lisa
240
00:11:34,250 --> 00:11:35,266
and she won't
return
my phone calls.
241
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:37,160
Man, forget Lisa.
242
00:11:37,500 --> 00:11:40,116
You didn't do nothin' wrong.
She should be callin' you.
243
00:11:40,150 --> 00:11:42,166
Yeah, you're right.
I didn't do nothin'
wrong.
244
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:44,133
- Not a damn thing.
- Not that I couldn't of.
245
00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:47,250
I mean, look at me,
man,
I'm a delivery man.
246
00:11:47,283 --> 00:11:49,183
And every woman
loves a man that can
deliver.
247
00:11:49,216 --> 00:11:52,100
- Ah! You know what I mean.
- You know what I mean.
248
00:11:52,133 --> 00:11:55,116
Shoot, man.
Baby got some nerve.
249
00:11:55,150 --> 00:11:57,183
Yeah.
She stomped on your heart.
250
00:11:57,216 --> 00:11:59,283
- Yeah!
- You don't need Lisa.
251
00:11:59,316 --> 00:12:02,100
- I don't need her.
- That's right.
252
00:12:02,133 --> 00:12:03,183
You sure you don't
wanna go over there
253
00:12:03,216 --> 00:12:05,283
and just make
sure
she's okay?
254
00:12:05,316 --> 00:12:08,100
What? And beg her
for forgiveness?
255
00:12:08,133 --> 00:12:10,200
Nah. You can't play yourself
like that.
256
00:12:10,233 --> 00:12:11,366
You ain't going out like that.
257
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,216
Yeah, that's right.
I ain't gonna play
myself.
258
00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:15,350
That's right. And you're
too handsome to get played.
259
00:12:15,383 --> 00:12:17,316
- Damn, skippy.
- Hey, yo, handsome.
260
00:12:17,350 --> 00:12:19,200
Can I use your credit card?
261
00:12:19,233 --> 00:12:21,116
Sure, man. Sure.
262
00:12:21,150 --> 00:12:23,116
Lisa's gonna have to
learn
that you gotta get up
263
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:26,166
pretty early in the
morning
to pull one over on me.
264
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,383
You know what I'm sayin'?
265
00:12:33,830 --> 00:12:36,100
Wow. This is one classy joint.
266
00:12:36,133 --> 00:12:37,383
Real resquisite.
267
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,330
And Belafonte too.
268
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,216
[both laughing]
269
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:46,233
- Hi, we have reservations.
- Yeah. So do I.
270
00:12:47,366 --> 00:12:50,166
- Your name, please?
- Shawn Williams.
271
00:12:50,200 --> 00:12:53,660
Uh, one party, two tables.
272
00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,266
I don't like to look
at my brother when I
eat.
273
00:12:55,300 --> 00:12:58,350
Yes, yes,
I can understand that.
274
00:12:58,383 --> 00:13:00,283
- This way.
- You hilarious.
275
00:13:00,316 --> 00:13:02,250
You a regular
ol' "Seinfeld," huh?
276
00:13:02,283 --> 00:13:05,316
Why is he so funny?
I don't get it.
277
00:13:05,350 --> 00:13:08,330
I hope these will do.
Our menus.
278
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,150
Alright. Thank
you.
Wait a minute.
279
00:13:10,183 --> 00:13:12,266
Your chef must've been
drunk
when he wrote these.
280
00:13:12,300 --> 00:13:15,366
- They don't even make no
sense.
- They're in French.
281
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,500
I'll bring you English menus.
They have pictures.
282
00:13:18,830 --> 00:13:20,160
(Marlon)
'Yay.'
283
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,350
Picture this. I'm the
customer
and you're a lowly servant.
284
00:13:23,383 --> 00:13:27,000
Now go get me
some champagne, peasant.
285
00:13:29,316 --> 00:13:32,830
Well, I guess you told me.
286
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:37,233
There goes Valerie.
Now remember..
287
00:13:37,266 --> 00:13:39,500
Don't say anything
until I give you
288
00:13:39,830 --> 00:13:40,233
the right words to use.
289
00:13:40,266 --> 00:13:43,660
Okay. Hey.
290
00:13:43,100 --> 00:13:46,830
But you better make me
sound intelligent.
291
00:13:46,116 --> 00:13:48,183
I'm a poet,
not a miracle worker.
292
00:13:52,133 --> 00:13:54,160
[chuckles]
293
00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:56,283
- Marlon.
- Valerie, Valerie.
294
00:13:56,316 --> 00:13:59,250
Valerie.
Have a seat, baby.
295
00:13:59,283 --> 00:14:01,383
Alright,
let's get you in there.
296
00:14:02,160 --> 00:14:04,166
I can't believe
I finally get to spend
time
297
00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:06,166
with the man
that wrote those
letters.
298
00:14:06,200 --> 00:14:09,660
That's me, letter man.
299
00:14:09,100 --> 00:14:11,150
I had no idea
you were so romantic.
300
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:13,316
I mean, at the diner,
you hardly spoke to me.
301
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:16,166
I thought you were a mute.
302
00:14:16,200 --> 00:14:19,200
That's because I was dumbfounded
by your beauty.
303
00:14:19,233 --> 00:14:22,200
That's because I was dumbfounded
by your booty.
304
00:14:29,183 --> 00:14:32,100
- Your beauty.
- Your beauty.
305
00:14:32,133 --> 00:14:34,166
You got a beautiful booty too.
306
00:14:38,160 --> 00:14:40,283
Uh, be sure to note
our specials.
307
00:14:40,316 --> 00:14:44,116
And a handwritten note
from the chef for you.
308
00:14:44,150 --> 00:14:46,500
- Thank you.
- You know the chef?
309
00:14:46,830 --> 00:14:49,116
- What does it say?
- Uh-uh..
310
00:14:49,150 --> 00:14:51,300
[gibberish]
311
00:14:53,166 --> 00:14:54,316
[gibberish]
312
00:14:56,283 --> 00:14:59,660
Oh, and you're funny too.
313
00:14:59,100 --> 00:15:02,660
Uh.. Uh, may I
suggest
thevichyssoise?
314
00:15:02,100 --> 00:15:04,116
The vichy who?
315
00:15:04,150 --> 00:15:06,500
It's a cold potato soup.
316
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,183
Oh, brother, for these prices,
you better warm that thing up
317
00:15:08,216 --> 00:15:10,000
in the microwave.
318
00:15:11,166 --> 00:15:15,116
You know, Valerie, uh,
when I look into your eyes,
I..
319
00:15:18,330 --> 00:15:19,200
When I look into
your eyes, I know that
320
00:15:19,233 --> 00:15:23,283
this is more than
just mere flatulation.
321
00:15:25,150 --> 00:15:26,333
What?
322
00:15:26,366 --> 00:15:28,266
(Marlon)
'Uh, Uh..'
323
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,316
[gargling]
324
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:35,266
'Ah, there we go.
When I look into your eyes'
325
00:15:35,300 --> 00:15:37,366
I know that this is more
than just mere..
326
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:46,266
...infatuation.
327
00:15:46,300 --> 00:15:48,330
[chuckles]
328
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,266
And, you know, Valerie..
329
00:15:49,300 --> 00:15:52,300
...this is a love that's
gonna
last till the end of time.
330
00:15:53,183 --> 00:15:55,500
Oh, Marlon.
331
00:15:57,383 --> 00:15:59,160
Look at me.
332
00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,160
Are you always
this
passionate?
333
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:04,183
I mean, you're like
a young Langston Hughes.
334
00:16:04,216 --> 00:16:05,366
Yeah, well, uh..
335
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,116
Do I do what you do
336
00:16:08,150 --> 00:16:10,166
when I do mylove
337
00:16:13,250 --> 00:16:14,233
Excuse me,
I was sittin'
there.
338
00:16:14,266 --> 00:16:15,350
Oh, sorry, it looked to me like
339
00:16:15,383 --> 00:16:17,283
you were crawling on the floor.
340
00:16:17,316 --> 00:16:20,830
You don't understand.
I need to be closer.
341
00:16:20,116 --> 00:16:22,250
I need to be closer.
342
00:16:22,283 --> 00:16:24,150
Okay.
343
00:16:24,183 --> 00:16:25,200
Give me your hand.
344
00:16:25,233 --> 00:16:27,500
Give me your hand.
345
00:16:27,830 --> 00:16:29,200
Come on, baby, move it.
I'll give you 20 bucks.
346
00:16:29,233 --> 00:16:32,660
Come on, baby, move it.
I'll give you 20 bucks.
347
00:16:36,830 --> 00:16:38,350
What's going on
here?
Talk to me.
348
00:16:38,383 --> 00:16:40,233
Uh.. Um.. Uh..
349
00:16:40,266 --> 00:16:43,660
Someone is feeding you lines.
350
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:45,330
- Uh-huh.
- Get off of me!
351
00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:47,366
Get off of me!
352
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:50,200
It's him, isn't it?
353
00:16:50,233 --> 00:16:51,350
Uh, no, it's not.
354
00:16:51,383 --> 00:16:55,000
See, these are my words.
That's me, right there.
355
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,300
Say something poetic
right now.
356
00:16:59,266 --> 00:17:01,366
If you see me on the freeway
357
00:17:02,333 --> 00:17:04,183
Baby don't pass.
358
00:17:04,216 --> 00:17:06,266
Put 'em on the glass.
359
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,830
Little
rittin-ittin-bittin
red eye--
360
00:17:10,116 --> 00:17:11,350
Oh, just stop it, Marlon!
361
00:17:11,383 --> 00:17:13,366
I mean, this is all
been one big scam.
362
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,200
You didn't even write
any of those letters.
363
00:17:16,233 --> 00:17:18,300
Alright. You got me. I..
364
00:17:20,350 --> 00:17:22,166
I didn't write 'em.
365
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,316
I just liked you so much I
had
my brother write 'em for me.
366
00:17:26,200 --> 00:17:28,333
I don't know what to say.
367
00:17:28,366 --> 00:17:31,250
Say you love me anyhow.
368
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,250
I'm sorry. I can't.
369
00:17:33,283 --> 00:17:36,183
I love the man
who wrote those
letters.
370
00:17:36,216 --> 00:17:39,150
Yeah, but, Valerie,
these are, these are my words.
371
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:41,233
These are my feelings.
372
00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:44,500
Doesn't that count for anything?
373
00:17:44,830 --> 00:17:45,660
No.
374
00:17:47,160 --> 00:17:48,000
No?
375
00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,116
You're tellin' me
my feelings don't count?
376
00:17:52,283 --> 00:17:56,216
You know what?
I might be pathetic, okay?
377
00:17:56,250 --> 00:18:00,500
But you..
Y-you're mean, you're cold.
378
00:18:00,830 --> 00:18:03,500
Look at you, you're in love
with a bunch of words..
379
00:18:03,830 --> 00:18:06,233
...when you could've been
in love with a real man.
380
00:18:06,266 --> 00:18:09,100
A real skinny man,
but a real man.
381
00:18:13,830 --> 00:18:15,116
Have fun cuddling
with your little letter.
382
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:21,133
Now if you'll excuse me, I
have
to go contain my feelings.
383
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,300
- Yo, G, I'll take care of
it.
- Shawn, it's over.
384
00:18:26,333 --> 00:18:28,116
It's all over.
385
00:18:30,350 --> 00:18:33,830
Don't let her order anything.
386
00:18:35,283 --> 00:18:37,000
Look, Valerie,
let me explain.
387
00:18:37,330 --> 00:18:39,266
No, no, no,
there's no need to explain.
388
00:18:39,300 --> 00:18:43,000
Yes, there is. My little
brother's crazy about
you.
389
00:18:43,330 --> 00:18:46,116
It's just that he doesn't
have
any social skills.
390
00:18:46,150 --> 00:18:50,150
Never mind your brother, I
mean,
no one could write those words
391
00:18:50,183 --> 00:18:53,233
unless they felt them
in their heart.
392
00:18:53,266 --> 00:18:56,100
And only a woman in love
could feel the way
393
00:18:56,133 --> 00:18:59,216
that I feel about you.
394
00:18:59,250 --> 00:19:02,160
Whoa, sister,
you got the wrong
brother.
395
00:19:02,500 --> 00:19:04,116
No, baby.
Don't fight your feelings.
396
00:19:04,150 --> 00:19:07,660
Hey, Lisa, isn't that Shawn?
397
00:19:07,100 --> 00:19:09,200
Kissing another woman?
398
00:19:11,350 --> 00:19:14,150
Oh.. No, i-it doesn't
look like him at all.
399
00:19:14,183 --> 00:19:17,216
You know, I'm not even hungry.
Let's-let's just go home.
400
00:19:20,333 --> 00:19:23,100
- Hi, Shawn.
- Hey, Li-Lisa.
401
00:19:23,133 --> 00:19:24,266
Lisa, this isn't
what
it looks like.
402
00:19:24,300 --> 00:19:27,216
Listen to me.
Tell her about Marlon.
403
00:19:27,250 --> 00:19:29,250
Marlon?
404
00:19:29,283 --> 00:19:32,183
I don't know
anyone named Marlon.
405
00:19:32,216 --> 00:19:35,233
She's lyin'.
She is lyin'.
406
00:19:35,266 --> 00:19:38,330
Oh, I see, I see.
407
00:19:38,660 --> 00:19:41,000
Oh, that's, this is real nice,
real nice, Valerie.
408
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,350
First you break my heart,
and now you forget my name?
409
00:19:43,383 --> 00:19:46,233
Love 'em and leave 'em, huh,
baby? That's your little game.
410
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:49,300
Marlon?
411
00:19:49,333 --> 00:19:52,830
Oh, Shawn, I am so sorry.
412
00:19:52,116 --> 00:19:53,366
I feel so stupid.
413
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,383
Not as stupid
as you look in that outfit.
414
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,660
Stupid this.
415
00:20:03,366 --> 00:20:06,330
[cheering]
416
00:20:06,660 --> 00:20:10,183
Oh, nice. I mean,
really high class.
417
00:20:10,216 --> 00:20:12,366
Here, have some champagne.
418
00:20:14,150 --> 00:20:15,233
Uhh.
419
00:20:15,266 --> 00:20:17,333
Oh, I see.
So that's how it's gonna be.
420
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:19,250
Okay, wait. don't
don't,
come on, y'all.
421
00:20:19,283 --> 00:20:22,150
Come on y'all, stop. Hey,
y'all,
don't, I mean, don't.
422
00:20:27,266 --> 00:20:28,250
It's on now.
423
00:20:28,283 --> 00:20:30,660
People, people, please.
424
00:20:30,100 --> 00:20:31,266
'This is
a four-star restaurant.'
425
00:20:31,300 --> 00:20:32,383
You're going down!
426
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,233
Oh.
427
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:38,250
Well, just call me
lowly servant boy?
428
00:20:38,283 --> 00:20:41,150
[screaming]
429
00:21:03,150 --> 00:21:05,000
You're goin' down.
430
00:21:14,283 --> 00:21:17,500
Oh, isn't that sweet?
431
00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:20,283
Hey, Jane, thanks
for taking that pie for me.
432
00:21:20,316 --> 00:21:23,316
How about a little favor
in return?
433
00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,383
Yeah?
434
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:27,333
How about hooking me up
with Marlon?
435
00:21:27,366 --> 00:21:29,160
- Marlon?
- Marlon?
436
00:21:29,500 --> 00:21:31,000
Yeah, he's kind of cute.
437
00:21:31,330 --> 00:21:32,200
And look at the poem he wrote
438
00:21:32,233 --> 00:21:34,283
"You and me would be a doozy
439
00:21:34,316 --> 00:21:37,233
if we got naked in my Jacuzzi."
440
00:21:38,333 --> 00:21:40,150
He's so honest.
441
00:21:40,183 --> 00:21:43,200
Hey, you like that one?
I got another one for you.
442
00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:47,216
"There once was a man
from Nantucket.."
443
00:21:49,150 --> 00:21:51,830
[mumbling]
444
00:21:58,166 --> 00:22:01,366
"lookin' for a way
to make some big fat pay.
445
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:05,330
"My wife came in askin'
for some water.
446
00:22:05,660 --> 00:22:09,266
"I decided to charge my baby
two bills and a quarter.
447
00:22:09,300 --> 00:22:14,133
"So I started selling latte
by the dollar, two, and
three.
448
00:22:14,166 --> 00:22:16,366
"They may call it fancy coffee.
449
00:22:17,000 --> 00:22:18,316
"But I call it..
450
00:22:18,350 --> 00:22:20,830
Ye-de-dee."
451
00:22:20,116 --> 00:22:22,330
[applauding]
452
00:22:22,660 --> 00:22:23,183
Thank you. Thank..
32370
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