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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Okay, Griff.
2
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In 1960, Cassius Clay
won the Olympic gold medal...
3
00:01:21,290 --> 00:01:23,326
...by defeating what boxer?
4
00:01:23,610 --> 00:01:25,885
Let's see.
5
00:01:30,690 --> 00:01:33,363
It's on the tip of her tongue--
I mean, my tongue.
6
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Give me that.
7
00:01:39,250 --> 00:01:41,889
He defeated this guy.
8
00:01:45,570 --> 00:01:46,798
Come on, Griff.
9
00:01:47,010 --> 00:01:49,604
The winner of the sports radio contest
gets two tickets...
10
00:01:49,810 --> 00:01:51,482
...to the summer Olympics in Atlanta.
11
00:01:51,690 --> 00:01:53,203
That's me and you, buddy.
12
00:01:53,450 --> 00:01:55,805
I never knew you were a big fan
of the Olympics, Al.
13
00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:59,565
I'm not, but I'm a huge fan
of leaving home.
14
00:02:01,250 --> 00:02:03,400
You know all the answers,
why don't you call in?
15
00:02:03,650 --> 00:02:05,959
Because I was banned
from the radio station...
16
00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:08,286
...for making one innocent comment.
17
00:02:08,850 --> 00:02:10,044
What did you say?
18
00:02:10,250 --> 00:02:12,286
I simply said,
we can put a man on the moon...
19
00:02:12,490 --> 00:02:15,800
...but we've yet to build
an attractive woman golfer.
20
00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:18,963
And?
21
00:02:20,210 --> 00:02:26,001
Okay. Who holds the world record
for the longest standing broad jump?
22
00:02:26,610 --> 00:02:28,919
Me, if she doesn't move.
23
00:02:31,810 --> 00:02:34,324
I was wondering, if I said
you had a beautiful body...
24
00:02:34,530 --> 00:02:36,885
...would you hold it against me?
25
00:02:39,090 --> 00:02:42,878
Are we near the airport, or is that
the sound of my heart taking off?
26
00:02:45,610 --> 00:02:46,759
What's your sign?
27
00:02:51,290 --> 00:02:53,679
Yeah, she wants me.
28
00:02:54,530 --> 00:02:57,442
Okay, this baby
is our ticket to Atlanta.
29
00:02:57,690 --> 00:02:59,248
What the hell is this?
30
00:02:59,490 --> 00:03:02,448
I got this from the CIA surplus store.
31
00:03:02,650 --> 00:03:08,043
This bad boy blocks all phone calls
to the radio station except mine.
32
00:03:13,890 --> 00:03:15,562
I'm Calvin Farquhar.
33
00:03:25,930 --> 00:03:29,525
And it's time for Sports Radio 600
Olympic trivia contest.
34
00:03:29,730 --> 00:03:32,927
Answer three questions correctly,
you and a friend are off to Atlanta.
35
00:03:33,490 --> 00:03:34,809
It's showtime, Griff.
36
00:03:35,010 --> 00:03:37,285
You do it, Al.
They can't hate you that much.
37
00:03:37,530 --> 00:03:40,488
This contest is open to everyoneexcept Sports Radio employees...
38
00:03:40,690 --> 00:03:43,204
...and Al Bundy.
39
00:03:47,810 --> 00:03:49,562
You're mouthing with Calvin.
Who's this?
40
00:03:50,970 --> 00:03:52,198
Griff.
41
00:03:52,450 --> 00:03:54,168
Griff, my man, you have a last name?
42
00:03:55,130 --> 00:03:56,688
X, Griff X.
43
00:03:58,130 --> 00:04:01,088
Are you Muslim, as in Malcolm X?
44
00:04:01,650 --> 00:04:05,609
No, I'm divorced,
as in screwed over by the ex.
45
00:04:11,930 --> 00:04:14,364
She got everything, you know?
46
00:04:14,930 --> 00:04:16,648
Keep your problems
to yourself, man.
47
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,528
This isn't Frasier.
48
00:04:18,890 --> 00:04:20,528
Okay, first question.
49
00:04:20,770 --> 00:04:24,046
Who was named the outstanding boxerin the 1988 Olympics...
50
00:04:24,290 --> 00:04:26,850
...despite being cheatedout of a gold medal?
51
00:04:28,530 --> 00:04:29,883
Roy Jones Jr.
52
00:04:30,810 --> 00:04:32,687
Correct.
53
00:04:36,690 --> 00:04:39,807
Now name the first American city
that hosted the Summer Olympics.
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00:04:40,330 --> 00:04:41,558
St. Louis.
55
00:04:41,810 --> 00:04:43,448
St. Louis.
56
00:04:43,690 --> 00:04:45,601
Correct again.
57
00:04:46,330 --> 00:04:51,324
Griff, you can quit now and keep theEl Pollo Loco 12-piece chicken dinner.
58
00:04:53,130 --> 00:04:55,928
I mean, 11 -piece chicken dinner...
59
00:04:56,170 --> 00:04:58,161
...or risk everything
and go for the gold.
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00:04:58,410 --> 00:05:00,765
Do side dishes come
with that chicken?
61
00:05:02,530 --> 00:05:04,282
I mean, we'll go for the gold.
62
00:05:04,930 --> 00:05:06,329
We?
63
00:05:06,570 --> 00:05:08,447
You are alone, aren't you, Griff?
64
00:05:08,690 --> 00:05:10,328
Al Bundy's not there, is he?
65
00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:13,120
No. Absolutely not.
66
00:05:13,370 --> 00:05:16,328
Then name the only man in Olympic
history to win a gold medal...
67
00:05:16,530 --> 00:05:20,000
...in both Summer and Winter games,
and name the event.
68
00:05:24,690 --> 00:05:26,965
Eddie Eagan, boxing...
69
00:05:27,170 --> 00:05:29,479
...and--
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00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:31,841
Bobsledding.
71
00:05:32,610 --> 00:05:34,282
Was that Al Bundy?
72
00:05:35,130 --> 00:05:36,722
No. That was me, Griff.
73
00:05:37,290 --> 00:05:40,168
When I get excited,
I sound Caucasian.
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00:05:46,090 --> 00:05:49,480
You know, like that guy
from Hanging With Mr. Cooper.
75
00:05:50,930 --> 00:05:55,082
Well, congratulations, Griff.
You're going to Atlanta, man.
76
00:05:58,050 --> 00:05:59,608
We'll catch men's boxing.
77
00:05:59,850 --> 00:06:03,525
Then Shaq and the Dream Team take on
the always impressive Kuwaiti Five.
78
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:08,760
Sometimes it's fun to root
for underdeveloped countries, Al.
79
00:06:10,810 --> 00:06:12,323
Speaking of underdeveloped.
80
00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,603
Hello, Griff. Hello, whiff.
81
00:06:21,650 --> 00:06:23,766
Listen, in preparation for your trip...
82
00:06:23,970 --> 00:06:26,530
...I've put together
some brochures of sights to see...
83
00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:28,925
...and things to do
while you're in Atlanta.
84
00:06:29,170 --> 00:06:32,048
Martin Luther King Junior Memorial...
85
00:06:32,290 --> 00:06:36,647
...Peachtree Plaza, and look,
the Jimmy Carter Peanut Museum.
86
00:06:37,450 --> 00:06:39,964
Thank you, Marcie,
and we will put this to good use.
87
00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:45,841
Wobble's gone.
88
00:06:46,370 --> 00:06:49,328
And yet the weeble's still here.
89
00:06:50,250 --> 00:06:52,639
Come on, Jefferson.
I'm going to Victoria's Secret.
90
00:06:52,890 --> 00:06:55,085
What in the world for?
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00:06:57,890 --> 00:06:59,562
I mean, I'll meet you there.
92
00:06:59,810 --> 00:07:01,402
Bye-bye.
93
00:07:02,810 --> 00:07:04,766
All right, look, guys.
94
00:07:05,010 --> 00:07:07,319
Here's how to see
the real sights in Atlanta.
95
00:07:07,530 --> 00:07:11,239
Their official illustrated guide
to the nudie bars.
96
00:07:14,770 --> 00:07:17,967
The South shall rise again.
97
00:07:18,490 --> 00:07:21,084
And so shall we.
98
00:07:22,090 --> 00:07:25,287
Well, Marcie's gonna be
wondering what happened to me.
99
00:07:25,530 --> 00:07:27,521
Is Victoria's Secret
still down that way?
100
00:07:27,730 --> 00:07:29,766
- Yes.
- Thanks.
101
00:07:32,890 --> 00:07:34,926
Al, here comes
that sports-radio guy. Hide.
102
00:07:35,130 --> 00:07:37,280
Not to worry. He knows my voice,
not my face.
103
00:07:39,930 --> 00:07:41,682
Excuse me.
104
00:07:46,250 --> 00:07:50,289
I'm Calvin Farquhar
and are either of you Griff X?
105
00:07:51,170 --> 00:07:53,968
- I'm Mr. X.
- Nice to meet you.
106
00:07:54,170 --> 00:07:57,606
You'll have to excuse my friend,
Al-- Fredo.
107
00:07:58,290 --> 00:08:00,963
Alfredo. He doesn't talk much.
108
00:08:01,170 --> 00:08:03,240
Lost his tongue in the war.
109
00:08:04,330 --> 00:08:06,560
And a few other things too.
110
00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:11,366
Well, Griff, if you'll just
sign for these tickets.
111
00:08:11,570 --> 00:08:13,720
Sure. Have a seat.
112
00:08:14,130 --> 00:08:16,007
Hey, Dad.
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00:08:20,170 --> 00:08:24,766
Can I go to Las Vegas
this weekend with...
114
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:32,044
What was your name?
Oh, it doesn't matter. Can I go?
115
00:08:36,610 --> 00:08:39,761
Oh, well, thanks, Dad.
I won't get married or anything stupid.
116
00:08:45,490 --> 00:08:47,048
You're gonna let Kelly go to Vegas?
117
00:08:48,970 --> 00:08:51,484
You're not the Al Bund--
118
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,520
Griff, the added bonus...
119
00:09:14,770 --> 00:09:18,160
...is that you get to carry
the Olympic torch through the mall.
120
00:09:18,610 --> 00:09:20,202
Well, that's quite an honor.
121
00:09:20,450 --> 00:09:22,361
But...
122
00:09:22,970 --> 00:09:26,007
...I'd rather let my friend
Alberto here carry it.
123
00:09:26,210 --> 00:09:28,280
You mean Alfredo, don't you?
124
00:09:28,530 --> 00:09:31,727
Yeah, Alfredo Alberto.
125
00:09:34,130 --> 00:09:38,521
He's an Italian exchange salesman.
126
00:09:38,930 --> 00:09:41,683
Well, you are the winner,
and it's your choice.
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00:09:41,930 --> 00:09:44,763
- Can we take a picture, please?
- Sure.
128
00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:48,081
Thank you very much,
and congratulations.
129
00:09:48,290 --> 00:09:49,723
Thank you.
130
00:09:55,970 --> 00:09:59,849
Griff, thanks to you, I will realize
one of my life's dreams:
131
00:10:00,050 --> 00:10:02,006
To carry the Olympic torch.
132
00:10:02,530 --> 00:10:05,681
I thought your life's dream
was to feel up Barbara Eden.
133
00:10:07,170 --> 00:10:09,320
Yeah, but I did that.
134
00:10:09,770 --> 00:10:12,762
Stroking the big screen at Sears
doesn't count.
135
00:10:13,610 --> 00:10:15,566
The point is, carrying that torch...
136
00:10:15,770 --> 00:10:19,809
...for me, will be like
scoring my fifth touchdown.
137
00:10:25,410 --> 00:10:29,483
Griff, there is a rumor
that's got me tingling all over.
138
00:10:29,690 --> 00:10:33,239
I hear you're carrying
the Olympic torch.
139
00:10:33,810 --> 00:10:35,402
Yes, I am.
140
00:10:42,570 --> 00:10:46,085
Excuse me, oh, back-stabber X.
141
00:10:47,490 --> 00:10:49,287
What do you mean
you're carrying the torch?
142
00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:52,368
Al, look at her. What would you do?
143
00:10:54,530 --> 00:10:57,044
Girls like that are a dime a dozen.
144
00:11:04,810 --> 00:11:07,768
There's my dime. Bring me a dozen.
145
00:11:09,330 --> 00:11:12,242
- What about friendship?
- What about my dime?
146
00:11:15,970 --> 00:11:18,279
Al, look.
We're still going to Atlanta.
147
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:21,641
Besides, you're the only one who
gives a damn about that stupid torch.
148
00:11:25,050 --> 00:11:26,927
Are you the guy
carrying the Olympic torch?
149
00:11:27,170 --> 00:11:31,448
- For God and country.
- I thought you said that nobody had--
150
00:11:31,890 --> 00:11:34,279
We'd like to take pictures,
give you endorsements...
151
00:11:34,490 --> 00:11:36,720
- ...and a free car.
- Sure.
152
00:11:36,930 --> 00:11:39,569
But as long as I can share it all
with my best friend.
153
00:11:39,770 --> 00:11:42,364
A person without whom
none of this would be possible.
154
00:11:42,610 --> 00:11:45,647
Yo, momma, baby,
they wanna give us a car.
155
00:11:46,810 --> 00:11:49,085
If I kill Griff, get sentenced
to life in prison...
156
00:11:49,290 --> 00:11:51,121
...I'll be out in a couple of weeks.
157
00:11:53,050 --> 00:11:56,008
But I'll miss canola night
at the Jiggly Room.
158
00:11:56,450 --> 00:11:58,486
But they gotta have
the equivalent in prison.
159
00:11:58,690 --> 00:12:00,681
So I guess it will be worth it.
160
00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:05,565
Dad, I see you're still a little upset
about this Griff thing.
161
00:12:06,090 --> 00:12:07,728
Son, the TV is a thing.
162
00:12:07,970 --> 00:12:10,530
Your mother is a thing.
163
00:12:11,250 --> 00:12:13,969
But betrayal by your best friend
is high treason.
164
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,969
Come on, Daddy, cheer up.
Let's watch some TV.
165
00:12:17,170 --> 00:12:19,638
- Maybe there's something good on.
- Watch a little tube.
166
00:12:19,850 --> 00:12:21,442
All right.
167
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:26,724
Coming up on BET,Griff asks O.J. the tough questions.
168
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:31,360
Oh, we love GriffGriff loves us
169
00:12:32,930 --> 00:12:36,923
That's not fair. That should be me
hugging that big purple idiot.
170
00:12:37,170 --> 00:12:39,968
My whole life has been
leading up to that moment.
171
00:12:40,170 --> 00:12:42,968
Dad, you said your life was leading up
to you leaving Mom.
172
00:12:43,170 --> 00:12:44,808
Well, it was.
173
00:12:45,930 --> 00:12:48,569
It was, but I want to combine the two.
174
00:12:48,850 --> 00:12:51,284
Once I had that torch in my hand,
I would have just...
175
00:12:51,770 --> 00:12:53,965
...kept on running.
176
00:12:55,930 --> 00:13:00,845
- Daddy, you wanna know what I think?
- Oh, this should be good.
177
00:13:02,010 --> 00:13:04,843
Now, like a great
Eastern religion says...
178
00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:10,244
...it's all about striking a balance
between the ping and the pong.
179
00:13:11,930 --> 00:13:14,125
Go get my noose, boy.
180
00:13:14,690 --> 00:13:16,885
- I'll get two.
- Now, Dad, listen.
181
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:19,725
Your misery, or the ping...
182
00:13:19,930 --> 00:13:23,843
...is what makes other people happy,
or pong.
183
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:28,322
Pumpkin, Daddy's feeling
a little ping right now.
184
00:13:28,690 --> 00:13:29,884
Well, good.
185
00:13:30,090 --> 00:13:33,400
That means that somebody
somewhere must be really pong.
186
00:13:33,650 --> 00:13:36,039
Maybe it's me.
187
00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:41,280
She's been eating Wite-Out again,
hasn't she?
188
00:13:43,170 --> 00:13:45,684
Dad, Griff's your friend.
189
00:13:45,930 --> 00:13:47,488
Why can't you be happy for him?
190
00:13:47,690 --> 00:13:49,567
When was the last time
you saw me happy...
191
00:13:49,770 --> 00:13:51,601
...for anyone, about anything?
192
00:13:51,850 --> 00:13:54,444
Dad, Griff is a shoe salesman,
all right?
193
00:13:54,690 --> 00:13:59,206
He makes no money.
He drives a sardine can on wheels...
194
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:03,485
...and he paints his ankles
so we'll think he can afford socks.
195
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:06,444
The guy's got no life.
196
00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:09,204
But, son, that's my life.
197
00:14:09,410 --> 00:14:12,527
Then you can understand why
he deserves a little bit of happiness.
198
00:14:12,770 --> 00:14:14,362
Pumpkin, maybe you're right.
199
00:14:14,570 --> 00:14:17,721
Maybe I haven't been
such a good friend.
200
00:14:18,170 --> 00:14:20,400
Or a father.
201
00:14:21,170 --> 00:14:24,446
But maybe there's still something
I can do to make up for it.
202
00:14:24,690 --> 00:14:27,250
Dad, wanna go outside
and throw the ball a little bit?
203
00:14:27,730 --> 00:14:29,004
Not you.
204
00:14:30,690 --> 00:14:35,127
Griff, he's like family to me-- Better,
because he doesn't even live here.
205
00:14:35,370 --> 00:14:37,122
Tomorrow, I'm going
to the shoe store.
206
00:14:37,330 --> 00:14:39,890
I'll tell him he's my best friend
and I'm happy for him.
207
00:14:40,090 --> 00:14:42,240
Oh, Daddy, you're so good.
208
00:14:42,490 --> 00:14:46,483
I'm sure in your next life
you're going to be reincarcerated.
209
00:14:56,010 --> 00:14:59,286
Excuse me. I'm Roy Jones Jr.
210
00:15:03,890 --> 00:15:10,125
Undefeated, two-time world champion,
former Olympian Roy Jones Jr.?
211
00:15:10,450 --> 00:15:12,247
I prefer to think of myself...
212
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:17,126
...as "pound for pound the best boxer
in the world" Roy Jones Jr.
213
00:15:19,970 --> 00:15:24,486
Well, I prefer to think of myself as
"high school football star" Al Bundy.
214
00:15:26,530 --> 00:15:30,045
But unlike you, I got married.
Now my life...
215
00:15:30,250 --> 00:15:32,480
...is all screwed up.
216
00:15:33,010 --> 00:15:35,046
Well, enough about you.
Is Griff here?
217
00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:37,679
No, Griff's stretching,
getting ready for his big run.
218
00:15:37,890 --> 00:15:41,439
I'm his best friend, you know.
And I'm very happy for him.
219
00:15:42,770 --> 00:15:46,922
Well, you should be.
I mean, after all, he is America's hero.
220
00:15:48,690 --> 00:15:52,365
Give me that. America's hero?
I'm the one who--
221
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:55,759
I'm the one who's his best friend...
222
00:15:56,050 --> 00:15:58,086
...and I'm very, very happy for him.
223
00:15:58,330 --> 00:16:00,924
Get your official
"Go Griff" T-shirts here.
224
00:16:01,130 --> 00:16:02,563
Here you go. Hey. Thank you.
225
00:16:02,810 --> 00:16:05,119
Here you go. There you go.
That's it, right.
226
00:16:05,330 --> 00:16:09,881
Jefferson, I am so proud of you.
You finally got a job.
227
00:16:10,810 --> 00:16:15,122
Marcie, this isn't a job.
No, I'm giving away these T-shirts...
228
00:16:15,330 --> 00:16:17,286
...to promote global unity.
229
00:16:17,890 --> 00:16:20,802
Oh, you're such a good man.
230
00:16:25,770 --> 00:16:27,203
Excuse me.
231
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:29,600
Aren't you Bruce Jenner?
232
00:16:37,690 --> 00:16:40,045
No, I am not.
233
00:16:40,290 --> 00:16:42,121
Are you sure?
234
00:16:42,930 --> 00:16:45,080
Don't make me knock you out.
235
00:16:45,330 --> 00:16:49,881
- Oh, can I get a Griff shirt?
- Oh, sure, you can. Come on over here.
236
00:16:56,410 --> 00:16:59,368
Alfredo, look who I got to help me
cover the Griff torch run.
237
00:16:59,610 --> 00:17:01,726
Super Bowl MVP Larry Brown.
238
00:17:01,970 --> 00:17:03,767
- Larry Brown.
- That's me.
239
00:17:03,970 --> 00:17:08,248
It's a miracle.
Alfredo, the tongueless man, speaks.
240
00:17:13,610 --> 00:17:16,124
Aren't you Bruce Jenner?
241
00:17:16,370 --> 00:17:18,088
Can I have your autograph, please?
242
00:17:18,290 --> 00:17:20,440
Can I have your autograph, please?
243
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:25,489
I'm Al Bundy. Did you come
because you got my letter?
244
00:17:25,690 --> 00:17:27,282
Yeah, right.
245
00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,119
I'm not here to see you.
I'm here to see Griff.
246
00:17:30,370 --> 00:17:31,928
But why? You're a Super Bowl hero.
247
00:17:32,170 --> 00:17:35,765
Even though that bum O'Donnell
threw those two passes right to you.
248
00:17:37,090 --> 00:17:42,926
Hey, I know that and you know that,
but Disneyland and the Raiders don't.
249
00:17:43,490 --> 00:17:46,926
And you know, I'd give it all up
to be in Griff's shoes today.
250
00:17:47,170 --> 00:17:49,764
Why? He's just a divorced
shoe salesman...
251
00:17:49,970 --> 00:17:53,679
...who's carrying a flaming stick
through a mall full of fat women.
252
00:17:54,130 --> 00:17:59,443
But I am his best friend
and I'm very happy for him.
253
00:18:00,050 --> 00:18:01,278
You ought to be.
254
00:18:01,530 --> 00:18:07,480
Hey, Larry, you wanna buy one
of these limited-edition, autographed...
255
00:18:07,690 --> 00:18:10,443
- ..."Go Griff" T-shirts?
- Sure.
256
00:18:12,130 --> 00:18:16,920
I don't have any cash on me right now,
but hey, how about a Super Bowl ring?
257
00:18:19,490 --> 00:18:21,128
Sure.
258
00:18:30,170 --> 00:18:33,128
Wow, I'll always treasure this.
259
00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:36,248
Me too. I'll never let it go.
260
00:18:36,490 --> 00:18:38,765
Anyone wanna buy
a Super Bowl ring?
261
00:18:43,770 --> 00:18:48,161
- Excuse me, pal.
- Hey, you're Flint Guccione...
262
00:18:48,410 --> 00:18:51,083
...publisher of Big 'Uns magazine.
263
00:18:52,010 --> 00:18:53,648
Right you are.
264
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:57,041
Who would have thought an Instamatic,
drunken family reunion...
265
00:18:57,250 --> 00:19:00,128
...and 50 bucks could start an empire?
266
00:19:01,490 --> 00:19:03,208
Don't tell me you came
to shake Griff's hand.
267
00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,447
I did that yesterday when I presented
him with his lifetime key...
268
00:19:06,650 --> 00:19:08,800
...to the Big 'Uns brothel.
269
00:19:09,010 --> 00:19:13,242
And today we're gonna make Griff
Big 'Uns Man Of The Year.
270
00:19:31,130 --> 00:19:35,203
Oh, Al, you're the man of the year.
271
00:19:35,970 --> 00:19:39,167
No. You're the man of the century.
272
00:19:39,450 --> 00:19:41,884
You're twice the man Griff is.
273
00:19:42,130 --> 00:19:45,520
That's why I cloned myself.
274
00:19:53,930 --> 00:19:55,602
Hey, everybody, it's Griff.
275
00:19:56,650 --> 00:19:58,845
Hey, he's got the torch.
276
00:20:03,250 --> 00:20:05,559
Those were my answers.
That should be my torch.
277
00:20:05,770 --> 00:20:06,998
I will be the flaming one.
278
00:20:15,450 --> 00:20:19,204
This is Miranda Veracruz
de la Jolla Cardenal...
279
00:20:19,410 --> 00:20:23,289
...live at the New Market Mall
where national hero, Griff X...
280
00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:26,641
...has just run by
with the Olympic torch.
281
00:20:26,890 --> 00:20:28,642
Wait a minute.
282
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:32,250
Someone is chasing Griff.
283
00:20:32,490 --> 00:20:36,768
It appears to be local hooligan
Al Bundy.
284
00:20:38,930 --> 00:20:41,922
Oh, no. He has knocked the torch
from Griff's hand...
285
00:20:42,130 --> 00:20:45,486
...and sent it hurtling
into the mall fountain.
286
00:20:49,090 --> 00:20:51,684
For the first time in 3000 years...
287
00:20:51,890 --> 00:20:55,087
...the Olympic flamehas been extinguished.
288
00:20:55,730 --> 00:21:00,087
The torch must now be relit in Athensand run around the world once more.
289
00:21:00,330 --> 00:21:04,608
The Summer Olympicshave been postponed indefinitely.
290
00:21:04,810 --> 00:21:06,038
Thanks again...
291
00:21:06,290 --> 00:21:10,363
...to now international hooliganAl Bundy.
292
00:21:18,330 --> 00:21:20,321
I guess you can look
on the bright side, Dad.
293
00:21:20,530 --> 00:21:22,839
From now on, when people think
of Olympic shame...
294
00:21:23,090 --> 00:21:27,003
...they'll think of Al Bundy first
and then Tonya Harding.
295
00:21:28,730 --> 00:21:31,244
Daddy, do you think it's safe
to go out for food now?
296
00:21:32,370 --> 00:21:35,168
Oh, pumpkin,
I wouldn't worry about it.
297
00:21:35,370 --> 00:21:40,285
You know, when it comes to scandals,
Americans have short memories.
23668
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