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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:01:16,260 --> 00:01:21,288
And now, Friends,followed by The Making of Friends.
2
00:01:21,500 --> 00:01:23,377
And then, on the 10:00 news...
3
00:01:23,620 --> 00:01:28,774
...the cast of Cheers discussestheir favorite episodes of Friends.
4
00:01:29,820 --> 00:01:33,813
Kelly, can we please watch
something else? This is a rerun.
5
00:01:34,060 --> 00:01:38,372
No, it's not.
I've seen this one a million times.
6
00:01:47,300 --> 00:01:49,575
Hey, Dad, you're off work early?
7
00:01:49,820 --> 00:01:51,651
I'm always off at this time.
8
00:01:51,900 --> 00:01:55,097
I just never came home before
because your mother was here.
9
00:01:57,540 --> 00:01:59,337
- What are you watching?
- Friends.
10
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:01,696
Friends.
Don't have them, don't need them...
11
00:02:01,900 --> 00:02:04,130
...sure as hell
don't wanna watch them.
12
00:02:05,500 --> 00:02:07,331
How can anyone not love this show?
13
00:02:07,580 --> 00:02:10,970
I mean, there's nothing on TV
quite like Friends.
14
00:02:11,460 --> 00:02:14,179
Now, stay tuned for Buddies.
15
00:02:15,140 --> 00:02:17,449
Next up, Homeys.
16
00:02:23,540 --> 00:02:26,612
Geezers, starring Bill Cosby.
17
00:02:27,420 --> 00:02:28,819
Welcome back to Friends.
18
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:32,735
Sponsored by the new Friends
Las Vegas Hotel and Casino.
19
00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:35,096
I wanna go. Oh, I wanna go.
20
00:02:37,420 --> 00:02:39,650
Well, that satellite dish
was money well spent...
21
00:02:39,900 --> 00:02:43,529
...like the wedding ring
and the smoke detectors.
22
00:02:43,820 --> 00:02:45,253
Yeah, I'm going down to my room.
23
00:02:45,460 --> 00:02:47,576
I have absolutely no interest
in this show.
24
00:02:47,820 --> 00:02:50,573
Yeah, well, you would
if it was called Rubber Friends.
25
00:02:55,620 --> 00:02:57,656
Daddy, can you get that?
It might be the door.
26
00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:07,813
My kingdom for a drive-by.
27
00:03:10,780 --> 00:03:14,739
- I've got something for a Peggy Bundy.
- So do I.
28
00:03:17,180 --> 00:03:18,772
Oh, then I guess you don't want...
29
00:03:18,980 --> 00:03:22,211
...these Big 'Uns centerfold
Popsicle molds either?
30
00:03:23,340 --> 00:03:25,092
Are you crazy?
I ordered those. Give me.
31
00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:28,935
Yeah, you're gonna love them,
and here's a tip:
32
00:03:29,180 --> 00:03:33,412
If you only fill the trays to the neck,
they come out without heads.
33
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:37,928
- Hi there.
- Hi.
34
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:40,131
- What you watching?
- Friends.
35
00:03:40,380 --> 00:03:41,733
Friends.
36
00:03:41,980 --> 00:03:43,891
- Mind if I sit here anyway?
- No.
37
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:45,732
No, make yourself at home.
38
00:03:46,020 --> 00:03:48,853
I'd get you a beer, but I don't
wanna be caught empty-handed...
39
00:03:49,060 --> 00:03:51,210
...when the gardener
and chimney sweep drop by.
40
00:03:53,980 --> 00:03:59,691
Well, my dad's gone.
You can sit a little bit closer.
41
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:03,698
"Tom."
42
00:04:05,780 --> 00:04:08,852
That's a great name.
Were you named after anybody?
43
00:04:09,100 --> 00:04:12,137
- Yeah, yeah, my father.
- Oh, cool. What's his name?
44
00:04:17,740 --> 00:04:21,176
I'm Kelly. I don't wear a nametag.
45
00:04:22,300 --> 00:04:24,530
I wasn't looking for one.
46
00:04:27,700 --> 00:04:30,976
- Well, then, what were you looking for?
- This.
47
00:04:33,780 --> 00:04:36,169
What was that? A lip alarm?
48
00:04:37,060 --> 00:04:40,291
Sort of. See, I'm being paged
by my girlfriend, Shannon.
49
00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:42,650
If I don't check in with her
every 15 minutes...
50
00:04:42,860 --> 00:04:45,090
...she gets this crazy idea
I'm cheating on her.
51
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,533
Question Number 12:
52
00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:50,332
How many times this week...
53
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:54,294
...has your man come home late
with a lame excuse?
54
00:04:57,180 --> 00:04:59,694
Hi, sweetie. Sorry I'm late.
55
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:04,213
I got the clock in my truck
confused with the speedometer.
56
00:05:06,420 --> 00:05:08,092
Seven.
57
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:11,692
Oh, hell.
She's taking the Cosmo quiz.
58
00:05:11,940 --> 00:05:13,168
What is it this month, baby?
59
00:05:13,420 --> 00:05:16,218
"How to kiss your way
into his living will"?
60
00:05:16,460 --> 00:05:19,258
No. It's called,
"How to tell if you and your man--"
61
00:05:19,500 --> 00:05:23,413
That's you.
"--are in a dying relationship."
62
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:27,016
- Well, are we?
- Well, I'll know in a minute.
63
00:05:28,300 --> 00:05:30,939
- Hey, what's seven times four?
- Twenty-eight.
64
00:05:31,220 --> 00:05:33,450
Oh, yeah, we're dead.
65
00:05:34,020 --> 00:05:37,535
Come on. You can't trust Cosmo.
They hate men.
66
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:40,978
Well, you know, Tom,
it's not just the quiz.
67
00:05:41,220 --> 00:05:42,972
I followed you this afternoon.
68
00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:45,256
I thought you were doing
makeovers at Macy's.
69
00:05:45,500 --> 00:05:49,857
Yeah, I was. But I told them
that I needed a personal stalking day.
70
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:54,300
Anyway, I saw you go
into a cute blond girl's house.
71
00:05:54,860 --> 00:05:59,650
So? Come on. I'm a delivery guy.
I go into people's houses.
72
00:05:59,900 --> 00:06:02,494
Sometimes they're girls.
Sometimes they're cute.
73
00:06:02,780 --> 00:06:04,816
- Sometimes you sleep with them.
- Yeah.
74
00:06:07,980 --> 00:06:12,337
But not today.
Today, I was faithful to you.
75
00:06:12,580 --> 00:06:14,616
You just don't get it, do you?
76
00:06:14,860 --> 00:06:16,851
Not since you subscribed
to Cosmo, no.
77
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:22,210
Oh, yeah? Well, it's a lot better
than those lovemaking tips...
78
00:06:22,420 --> 00:06:24,536
...you get from Popular Mechanics.
79
00:06:29,100 --> 00:06:30,328
- Hi.
- Hi.
80
00:06:30,540 --> 00:06:33,577
Nice mood.
Did my brother cheat on you again?
81
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,812
Yes. Tom and I
are in the middle of the biggest fight...
82
00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:39,375
...we've had since yesterday.
83
00:06:39,620 --> 00:06:41,975
Then why are you bothering
to wax your legs?
84
00:06:43,260 --> 00:06:46,297
Don't they teach you anything
at night school?
85
00:06:46,540 --> 00:06:50,772
If Tom and I make up, we'll end up
in bed, and he'll want smooth legs.
86
00:06:51,020 --> 00:06:53,659
If we break up, I'll end up in bed
with somebody else...
87
00:06:53,860 --> 00:06:55,452
...and he'll want smooth legs.
88
00:06:55,700 --> 00:06:59,136
So either way,
waxing is the key to my happiness.
89
00:06:59,740 --> 00:07:01,810
Bastards!
90
00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:07,052
Well, good evening, ladies.
91
00:07:07,300 --> 00:07:10,656
You know, after a long, hard day,
there's nothing like a relaxing shower.
92
00:07:10,900 --> 00:07:14,813
Jackson, why do you need a shower?
You don't work.
93
00:07:15,140 --> 00:07:19,213
I get just as dirty watching TV
as you do working.
94
00:07:19,460 --> 00:07:23,055
Sure. Now that you've unscrambled
the porn channel.
95
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,938
At least I have a sex life.
96
00:07:29,180 --> 00:07:32,331
Which reminds me,
you're out of liquid soap.
97
00:07:39,940 --> 00:07:43,216
Look, Shannon,
I'm sorry about our fight.
98
00:07:43,460 --> 00:07:47,931
And to make up for it,
I bought you a present.
99
00:07:49,340 --> 00:07:52,093
It better be good.
100
00:07:56,300 --> 00:07:58,860
- What are those?
- Hey, it's 9:00 at night.
101
00:07:59,100 --> 00:08:02,012
It was either this
or a Polish sausage.
102
00:08:02,300 --> 00:08:08,057
Look, Tom, I'm sure, in your eyes,
these were a very sweet gesture.
103
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:12,011
I need more than a gesture.
104
00:08:12,900 --> 00:08:14,697
I knew I should've gone
with the sausage.
105
00:08:17,860 --> 00:08:19,532
Look, Tom...
106
00:08:19,780 --> 00:08:21,930
...Cosmo says
that I'm an under-dater.
107
00:08:22,180 --> 00:08:24,535
No problem.
Tonight, you can be on top.
108
00:08:26,740 --> 00:08:31,768
What I mean is,
is that a girl like me has big dreams.
109
00:08:32,020 --> 00:08:35,410
I shouldn't be dating you.
I should be dating your boss.
110
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:38,450
You did date his boss.
111
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:41,575
You did?
112
00:08:41,780 --> 00:08:44,010
Yeah. How do you think
you got your promotion?
113
00:08:44,260 --> 00:08:46,854
I thought it was
because I dated his wife.
114
00:08:51,500 --> 00:08:53,456
You know, I don't know
what keeps me here...
115
00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:56,777
...when there's a city
full of middle-aged rich men...
116
00:08:56,980 --> 00:09:00,336
...just one drink away from infidelity.
117
00:09:01,460 --> 00:09:03,655
I know what keeps you here.
118
00:09:06,940 --> 00:09:08,214
Forget it, Tom.
119
00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:10,930
You know, the TV Guide horoscope
was right.
120
00:09:11,140 --> 00:09:13,973
I have no business
living with a Libra.
121
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,892
We are so through.
122
00:09:18,260 --> 00:09:19,978
You can't leave like this.
123
00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:23,217
We haven't had sex today.
124
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,294
Speak for yourself!
125
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:41,776
Tom, I know you're feeling upset
about Shannon leaving...
126
00:09:41,980 --> 00:09:46,690
...but you'll feel better
if you stop sulking and do something.
127
00:09:53,940 --> 00:09:57,057
- You're right. I do feel better.
- What did you do?
128
00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,450
Smashed her porcelain cat
collection.
129
00:10:01,220 --> 00:10:04,576
Look, Tom, obviously
you're feeling hurt right now.
130
00:10:04,860 --> 00:10:08,091
Hurt?
Come on, that's a girlie thing.
131
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,531
I'm feeling the guy version
of hurt: horny.
132
00:10:14,020 --> 00:10:18,935
You know, that's also the guy version
of happy, curious, and sleepy.
133
00:10:19,460 --> 00:10:23,419
In fact, is there ever a moment
when you guys aren't horny?
134
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,216
Prostate exams.
135
00:10:27,340 --> 00:10:29,410
And the "It's a Small World" ride.
136
00:10:32,500 --> 00:10:37,335
No, just prostate exams. I forgot
about those little Polynesian girls.
137
00:10:38,980 --> 00:10:42,939
You know what? You're no better
than your skirt-chasing father.
138
00:10:43,180 --> 00:10:46,695
Hey, it was your mother who walked
into a married man's house...
139
00:10:46,900 --> 00:10:48,697
...in that little maid's outfit.
140
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:51,659
She was the maid, you idiot.
141
00:10:52,220 --> 00:10:54,939
Still, I am not like him.
142
00:10:55,180 --> 00:10:58,775
I know the first name of almost
every woman I've ever slept with.
143
00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:02,535
And with any luck,
I'm about to learn a new one.
144
00:11:05,220 --> 00:11:07,529
Keiko, pick up.
145
00:11:08,940 --> 00:11:11,500
All right. All right.
Give it to me. I got it.
146
00:11:25,940 --> 00:11:29,979
Wow, Jefferson,
this is a real soul experience.
147
00:11:30,220 --> 00:11:32,973
Not some fake yuppie hangout.
148
00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:36,132
We are down with the people.
149
00:11:41,420 --> 00:11:43,570
You're not wearing
that Rolex I gave you, are you?
150
00:11:43,780 --> 00:11:47,011
Oh, no, no. I sold that long ago.
151
00:11:48,220 --> 00:11:50,450
I mean, it's too precious
to ever wear.
152
00:11:53,420 --> 00:11:55,650
Yo there, bro.
153
00:11:59,020 --> 00:12:01,375
We're new to the 'hood.
154
00:12:07,220 --> 00:12:08,539
What can you recommend?
155
00:12:10,420 --> 00:12:12,615
The hamburgers.
156
00:12:13,620 --> 00:12:17,898
Well, we were hoping
for something a little bit more...
157
00:12:18,620 --> 00:12:19,735
...down home.
158
00:12:22,140 --> 00:12:26,099
You know, like collard greens,
oxtails, moon pies.
159
00:12:26,340 --> 00:12:28,729
I'm glad you've seen Martin...
160
00:12:29,940 --> 00:12:34,172
...but here, we serve hamburgers.
161
00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,848
Listen, homes.
162
00:12:39,980 --> 00:12:44,212
If you insist on dissing
your customers...
163
00:12:44,860 --> 00:12:46,134
...in that manner...
164
00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:50,094
...then we are just going to have to
ease on down that road.
165
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,534
Word.
166
00:13:02,580 --> 00:13:07,893
Well, then, I guess
you want your order to go.
167
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:14,813
There.
168
00:13:17,140 --> 00:13:19,176
Your mama.
169
00:13:25,460 --> 00:13:29,499
George, hi.
I've never been a waitress before.
170
00:13:29,740 --> 00:13:33,813
When customers leave money
on the table, who is it for?
171
00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,932
It's for me.
172
00:13:40,140 --> 00:13:43,416
It's their way of showing appreciation
for the guy who cooked the food.
173
00:13:44,460 --> 00:13:46,018
I have so much to learn.
174
00:13:54,580 --> 00:13:58,414
- George, meet Kelly.
- Oh, hey, Kelly.
175
00:13:58,620 --> 00:14:00,053
Welcome to George's Diner.
176
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:02,012
Place where
everybody knows your name...
177
00:14:02,220 --> 00:14:04,176
...but is rude to you just the same.
178
00:14:04,620 --> 00:14:06,690
Just like my house.
179
00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:09,134
So, Tom.
180
00:14:09,380 --> 00:14:11,257
- Excuse me.
- Oh, sure.
181
00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:12,933
Did you and Shannon break up...
182
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:15,489
...or is she just out of town?
183
00:14:15,740 --> 00:14:17,571
No, she's in town.
184
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:22,018
No doubt crying into a pint
of Chunky Monkey over losing me.
185
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:38,335
Hi, Tom.
186
00:14:39,580 --> 00:14:42,299
Hi, Shannon. What brings you here?
187
00:14:42,540 --> 00:14:44,735
A Jaguar.
188
00:14:46,060 --> 00:14:47,971
Owned by Henry.
189
00:14:49,940 --> 00:14:51,612
I'm Henry.
190
00:14:52,060 --> 00:14:54,654
My other car is a yacht.
191
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:59,289
So you gonna introduce me
to your little friend?
192
00:14:59,540 --> 00:15:02,498
- Kelly, meet Shannon.
- Oh, hi.
193
00:15:02,740 --> 00:15:06,096
She's the woman I used to go home to
after my dates.
194
00:15:08,180 --> 00:15:11,809
Henry, meet Tom. He's the guy
who thought I stayed home...
195
00:15:12,020 --> 00:15:14,170
...while he went out
with other women.
196
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:16,771
It's good to see
that people can break up...
197
00:15:16,980 --> 00:15:19,858
...and still remain such good friends.
198
00:15:21,060 --> 00:15:24,814
- So where did you two meet?
- At Macy's.
199
00:15:25,060 --> 00:15:26,778
I was there to buy a gift for my wife.
200
00:15:26,980 --> 00:15:29,972
And I thought I'd pick up
a little something for me.
201
00:15:32,340 --> 00:15:37,050
Excuse me, George,
Kelly and I would like a table for two.
202
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:40,053
Henry and I
would like a table for one.
203
00:15:40,300 --> 00:15:42,097
And I'd like to pass
a health inspection.
204
00:15:42,340 --> 00:15:44,456
So good luck to all of us.
205
00:15:52,780 --> 00:15:55,613
Kelly, when I'm with you...
206
00:15:55,860 --> 00:15:58,613
...I feel like you're the only woman
in the world.
207
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:05,452
She's holding his hand,
right in front of me.
208
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:10,330
So what? I thought I was
the only woman in the world.
209
00:16:11,260 --> 00:16:13,854
I'm sorry, did you say something?
210
00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:23,098
Excuse me.
211
00:17:23,340 --> 00:17:25,456
People eat there.
212
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:30,651
Oh, Henry. I'm really turned on.
213
00:17:30,940 --> 00:17:33,295
Let's make love.
214
00:17:33,580 --> 00:17:36,299
Shall we do it in the Jag,
or do you wanna go to my condo?
215
00:17:36,580 --> 00:17:40,653
No. Let's go someplace
really romantic.
216
00:17:40,900 --> 00:17:43,175
The bathroom.
217
00:17:50,820 --> 00:17:52,492
Come on.
Let's go to the bathroom too.
218
00:17:55,580 --> 00:17:58,936
Okay, I'll try,
but I don't think I have to go.
219
00:18:03,100 --> 00:18:07,252
Oh, Henry. Please blow on my neck.
220
00:18:07,740 --> 00:18:09,776
Not you.
221
00:18:10,940 --> 00:18:15,491
Oh, yes. Right there.
222
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:20,092
You know, in this light, you remind me
of my fourth wife's daughter.
223
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:26,489
Oh, Kelly, you're the best.
224
00:18:35,060 --> 00:18:36,539
This is really fun.
225
00:18:36,740 --> 00:18:40,779
But could you wait outside
because now I really have to go.
226
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,580
Hold on. I'm not done
impressing Shannon.
227
00:18:43,820 --> 00:18:47,017
Well, let me know if there's anything
I can do to just hurry it along.
228
00:18:47,260 --> 00:18:50,218
Oh, Henry.
229
00:18:50,460 --> 00:18:52,974
Look. You can moan like Shannon.
230
00:18:53,220 --> 00:18:55,780
Oh, Henry.
231
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:05,334
- "Oh, Henry"?
- "Oh, Henry"?
232
00:19:05,580 --> 00:19:10,608
I mean, oh, Tom.
233
00:19:10,900 --> 00:19:16,099
- Oh, Kelly, lower.
- Oh, Henry, higher.
234
00:19:17,900 --> 00:19:22,416
Oh, Edwin. Take me to the bathroom.
235
00:19:29,100 --> 00:19:30,328
That's it.
236
00:19:30,580 --> 00:19:32,696
No. That's it.
237
00:19:32,940 --> 00:19:36,250
- I'm there.
- No, I'm there.
238
00:19:36,500 --> 00:19:40,288
You can't be there. I'm the only one
who can take you there.
239
00:19:53,140 --> 00:19:54,698
You know, I'll tell you one thing.
240
00:19:54,900 --> 00:19:58,495
I am not going on a second date
with Tom.
241
00:19:59,220 --> 00:20:00,938
No, you shouldn't.
242
00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:04,928
A woman like you deserves a man
who respects women.
243
00:20:05,660 --> 00:20:07,332
Nice legs.
244
00:20:08,180 --> 00:20:10,978
You wanna get in my Jag
and go shopping?
245
00:20:11,220 --> 00:20:13,017
Sure.
246
00:20:13,220 --> 00:20:14,733
Could you just wait one minute?
247
00:20:14,940 --> 00:20:17,977
Because I really
have to use the bathroom.
248
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:25,372
Daddy...
249
00:20:27,540 --> 00:20:30,498
...I want you to meet Henry.
250
00:20:34,020 --> 00:20:37,376
Pumpkin, what did we say
about talking to Daddy?
251
00:20:38,780 --> 00:20:41,692
I'm watching
my new favorite TV show.
252
00:20:41,940 --> 00:20:43,532
Friends?
253
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,576
Dad, I thought you hated this show.
254
00:20:46,820 --> 00:20:48,412
I do.
255
00:20:49,660 --> 00:20:52,015
But if you mute the sound...
256
00:20:52,260 --> 00:20:54,490
...and watch with binoculars...
257
00:20:56,340 --> 00:21:01,414
...you can see that Jennifer Aniston
isn't wearing a bra.
258
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:19,012
This really is must-see TV.
20146
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