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1
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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
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Family--
2
00:01:25,900 --> 00:01:28,778
And I use that term
with great embarrassment.
3
00:01:29,460 --> 00:01:35,490
--it is now time to unveil the contents
of the Bundy family Christmas club.
4
00:01:35,940 --> 00:01:37,612
Oh, Dad.
5
00:01:37,860 --> 00:01:39,896
You got a festive green one
this year.
6
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:43,257
Usually you just use one
of your old white socks.
7
00:01:43,820 --> 00:01:46,812
Honey, that is one
of his white socks.
8
00:01:47,060 --> 00:01:49,733
See how it matches his teeth.
9
00:01:50,340 --> 00:01:53,810
Thank you,
Rudolf the Redhead Couch Wit.
10
00:01:54,500 --> 00:01:56,491
Anyway, once a year...
11
00:01:56,740 --> 00:01:59,254
...the working members
of the Bundy family, namely me...
12
00:01:59,460 --> 00:02:02,020
...put aside a small percentage
of his paycheque--
13
00:02:02,260 --> 00:02:04,251
Namely nothing.
14
00:02:04,500 --> 00:02:07,970
--and at the end of the year,
opens it up to buy Christmas presents.
15
00:02:08,220 --> 00:02:10,211
Namely garbage.
16
00:02:10,460 --> 00:02:13,532
Dad, why do we go through
this pathetic charade every year?
17
00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:17,568
You know Mom's jimmied the lock
and spent all the money on herself.
18
00:02:18,100 --> 00:02:21,490
I didn't spend one penny
on myself this year.
19
00:02:21,740 --> 00:02:24,891
Hey, maybe,
we will get some presents.
20
00:02:25,380 --> 00:02:28,929
Then why is there nothing
but receipts in here, Peg?
21
00:02:29,180 --> 00:02:30,408
Well, those aren't from me.
22
00:02:30,660 --> 00:02:32,298
That's just stuff Mom needed.
23
00:02:32,540 --> 00:02:35,816
Five hundred dollars
for JJ's House of Strudel.
24
00:02:36,580 --> 00:02:40,255
Two hundred dollars
for a heavy-duty Buttmaster.
25
00:02:40,500 --> 00:02:44,334
Everybody knows that strudel
goes straight to the butt.
26
00:02:44,580 --> 00:02:47,458
- There goes your Christmas gift, Peg.
- What about us?
27
00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:50,339
Oh, this doesn't affect
your gift, pumpkin.
28
00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:56,811
Merry Christmas.
29
00:02:58,500 --> 00:03:01,731
Merry Christmas. I ought to give you
one of these for Christmas.
30
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:07,374
Come on, Kel. Let's go.
31
00:03:07,780 --> 00:03:10,340
We'll have to raise our own money
for Christmas presents.
32
00:03:10,540 --> 00:03:11,973
You know what this means, right?
33
00:03:12,180 --> 00:03:14,740
Yeah. The shell-shocked vet
and the blind-girl routine.
34
00:03:14,940 --> 00:03:16,896
That's right.
35
00:03:18,140 --> 00:03:22,019
And this year don't sit there
reading People magazine, all right.
36
00:03:23,500 --> 00:03:28,176
I was not reading it.
I was looking at the pictures, okay?
37
00:03:30,060 --> 00:03:32,051
Your mother's eating us
out of house and home.
38
00:03:32,260 --> 00:03:35,730
I don't expect her to pull her weight.
That would be impossible.
39
00:03:36,100 --> 00:03:37,374
But she's got to get a job.
40
00:03:37,620 --> 00:03:40,612
She's a Wanker woman.
She's not used to working.
41
00:03:40,860 --> 00:03:44,933
I will only put up with one worthless
Wanker woman in this house at a time.
42
00:03:45,180 --> 00:03:47,330
Either she gets a job or you do.
43
00:03:48,900 --> 00:03:51,573
Mom, we gotta talk!
44
00:03:59,500 --> 00:04:02,651
Excuse me.
Do you have any pumps in my size?
45
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:06,176
Yes, I do, but the Society for
the Prevention of Cruelty to Shoes...
46
00:04:06,420 --> 00:04:08,376
...would not allow me
to sell them to you.
47
00:04:08,980 --> 00:04:12,450
Well, I hope you get coal
in your stocking on Christmas morning.
48
00:04:12,740 --> 00:04:16,289
And I hope you get Slim-Fast
in yours.
49
00:04:16,900 --> 00:04:18,936
Now, we're about to have
our Christmas party.
50
00:04:19,180 --> 00:04:21,171
So would you mind eggnogging
on out?
51
00:04:22,100 --> 00:04:25,172
- Happy Holidays.
- Merry Christmas.
52
00:04:25,420 --> 00:04:28,014
Hey, guys, sorry I'm late.
53
00:04:33,420 --> 00:04:37,208
I had to ditch Marcie down
at the employment office.
54
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:39,895
God, what a depressing place.
55
00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:41,698
All those people out of work, huh?
56
00:04:41,900 --> 00:04:43,652
No. All those people looking
for work.
57
00:04:45,020 --> 00:04:47,375
Have they no pride?
58
00:04:48,220 --> 00:04:51,929
I'll tell you, if Marcie is so dead set
on a two-income family...
59
00:04:52,180 --> 00:04:54,535
...let her get a night job.
60
00:04:54,940 --> 00:04:56,612
Yeah.
61
00:05:02,540 --> 00:05:06,818
Jefferson, you don't really mean that
about Marcie, do you?
62
00:05:07,060 --> 00:05:11,451
As sure as I'm skimming money
off her mutual funds.
63
00:05:13,180 --> 00:05:15,819
Oh, I'll tell you,
it will be a cold day in hell...
64
00:05:16,020 --> 00:05:18,978
...when my paycheque-in-heels
outsmarts me.
65
00:05:19,940 --> 00:05:24,456
Well, then, prepare to make snow
angels with the Prince of Darkness.
66
00:05:27,020 --> 00:05:28,578
Marcie?
67
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:34,330
Marcie! I can't believe you followed me
here from the employment office?
68
00:05:34,580 --> 00:05:37,413
- Look, Jefferson--
- Oh, no, no, no. Don't apologize.
69
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:39,611
The damage is done.
70
00:05:43,660 --> 00:05:46,572
Look, Marcie,
if I can't trust you not to follow me...
71
00:05:46,820 --> 00:05:49,937
...how can I ever trust you
as a reference on a job application?
72
00:05:50,180 --> 00:05:52,648
Well, I already got you a job...
73
00:05:52,900 --> 00:05:57,132
...playing life-sized Ken in the Barbie
Christmas window at Marshall Field's.
74
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:07,139
Okay, but don't blame me, Marcie,
if your sick obsession with work...
75
00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:09,808
...drives me into the arms
of a life-sized Barbie.
76
00:06:10,060 --> 00:06:11,573
Merry Christmas.
77
00:06:11,780 --> 00:06:13,611
Merry Christmas!
78
00:06:13,860 --> 00:06:16,579
Well, now that the wives
and deadbeats are gone...
79
00:06:16,780 --> 00:06:18,498
...let's start this Christmas party.
80
00:06:18,740 --> 00:06:21,698
Yeah! Yeah! The tree is trimmed,
the halls are decked...
81
00:06:21,900 --> 00:06:25,051
...and Ike has dawned
his gay apparel.
82
00:06:27,780 --> 00:06:30,089
Take that back,
you glorified night watchman.
83
00:06:31,660 --> 00:06:34,049
Gentlemen, focus.
There'll be no brawling here.
84
00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:36,569
This is a Christmas party,
not a wedding.
85
00:06:37,940 --> 00:06:41,979
Besides, we can't start until Griff
gets here from his new part-time job.
86
00:06:51,060 --> 00:06:53,130
Okay, kid,
if you let go of my leg...
87
00:06:53,340 --> 00:06:56,377
...I'll bring you a pony
on Christmas morning.
88
00:06:57,420 --> 00:06:59,058
Excuse me.
Why did you say that?
89
00:06:59,300 --> 00:07:01,450
I specifically told you
he couldn't have one.
90
00:07:01,860 --> 00:07:05,330
And I specifically told you
tips were encouraged.
91
00:07:05,740 --> 00:07:08,652
Come on, Bobby.
The real Santa's at Kmart.
92
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:10,856
- Merry Christmas!
- Happy holidays!
93
00:07:11,060 --> 00:07:13,699
Merry stinking Christmas.
94
00:07:13,940 --> 00:07:17,410
Hey, Griff,
where's your Christmas spirit?
95
00:07:17,660 --> 00:07:21,619
My ex-wife got it
in the divorce settlement.
96
00:07:22,140 --> 00:07:23,858
Along with the house, the car...
97
00:07:24,060 --> 00:07:27,336
...and my entire collection
of Pam Grier movies.
98
00:07:28,140 --> 00:07:31,337
I knew you were feeling lonely
the last couple of weeks.
99
00:07:31,540 --> 00:07:33,929
That's why I got you
this for Christmas.
100
00:07:35,020 --> 00:07:37,614
"1 -900-YUMMY"?
101
00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:45,337
"The bearer of this card is entitled
to 20 minutes of yuletide phone sex."
102
00:07:46,380 --> 00:07:50,293
- Al, you shouldn't have.
- Hey, it didn't cost me anything.
103
00:07:50,500 --> 00:07:54,209
I just cashed in my frequent
hooter miles at the nudie bar.
104
00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:03,779
Al, meaningless, no-strings-attached
sex is the last thing I want right now.
105
00:08:04,020 --> 00:08:06,853
That's the only thing I've ever wanted.
106
00:08:08,700 --> 00:08:10,099
- Oh, wait!
- Let me have it.
107
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:12,894
Hey, Ike, give me that thing back.
Come on, Ike!
108
00:08:13,140 --> 00:08:15,335
Hey, Ike! Ike! Ike!
109
00:08:15,580 --> 00:08:18,413
Don't be selfish.
Put it on the speakerphone.
110
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:27,088
Hello, you're cooking with Butter.
111
00:08:31,740 --> 00:08:35,210
Hey, Butter, this is...
112
00:08:35,900 --> 00:08:37,492
...Hot Pants.
113
00:08:39,140 --> 00:08:41,859
Oh, Hot Pants.
114
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:47,652
Why don't you come closer
and melt little old Butter.
115
00:08:50,780 --> 00:08:54,295
Hold on.
I got to think about baseball.
116
00:08:55,580 --> 00:09:01,576
Hey, hey, Butter.
This is Double-O-Shoe.
117
00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:05,458
Listen, forget Hot Pants.
You need to talk to my good friend--
118
00:09:05,660 --> 00:09:06,775
- Butcher Boy.
- Psycho Cop.
119
00:09:06,980 --> 00:09:10,336
Not you, you potbellied porkers.
120
00:09:11,340 --> 00:09:12,295
Al.
121
00:09:15,220 --> 00:09:17,176
Hi, Butter.
122
00:09:18,060 --> 00:09:20,130
This is...
123
00:09:20,380 --> 00:09:22,940
...Shoehorn O'Plenty.
124
00:09:24,460 --> 00:09:26,815
- Thanks for the ride home, Griff.
- Don't mention it.
125
00:09:27,020 --> 00:09:28,897
Hey, I'm a Dodge man through
and through...
126
00:09:29,100 --> 00:09:33,013
...but that Geo Metro of yours
is a lot easier to push up that hill.
127
00:09:35,380 --> 00:09:38,816
Yeah, but if you want a car that will
just rust away on the front lawn...
128
00:09:39,020 --> 00:09:40,692
...nothing beats your Dodge.
129
00:09:42,260 --> 00:09:44,728
You got that right.
I'll give you that beer I promised.
130
00:09:44,940 --> 00:09:46,373
There's nobody home.
131
00:09:46,580 --> 00:09:50,289
Beer? I'll come down and join you.
132
00:09:50,700 --> 00:09:54,534
Except my mother-in-law,
the Budweiser Clydesdale.
133
00:09:54,940 --> 00:09:57,898
Al, I got to go anyhow, Al.
I promised Butter I'd call her at 6.
134
00:09:58,340 --> 00:10:01,571
You wouldn't want to leave a phone-sex
operator waiting by the phone.
135
00:10:02,220 --> 00:10:06,372
Wait a minute, Al. Butter is more
than just a $1 .99 a minute.
136
00:10:06,620 --> 00:10:11,489
She's a real good listener
who really understands me.
137
00:10:11,700 --> 00:10:14,533
And, boy, can she talk dirty.
138
00:10:15,860 --> 00:10:19,375
Well, I still better go.
I got a long push home.
139
00:10:19,580 --> 00:10:22,731
All right, take it easy, buddy.
140
00:10:30,660 --> 00:10:35,688
1 -900-YUMMY.
141
00:11:02,860 --> 00:11:07,456
1 -900-YUMMY.
142
00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:18,972
Merry Christmas.You're cooking with Butter.
143
00:11:21,860 --> 00:11:25,250
Oh, no.
144
00:11:47,340 --> 00:11:48,693
More.
145
00:11:49,020 --> 00:11:50,533
Come on.
146
00:11:52,860 --> 00:11:55,693
You know, this is fantastic.
147
00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:58,215
I can't believe Grandma
bought us these presents...
148
00:11:58,420 --> 00:11:59,648
...and this beautiful dinner.
149
00:11:59,860 --> 00:12:03,091
It's like she's an older married man
or something.
150
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:11,057
You know, Peg, who would've thought
that your mom's 1 -900 number...
151
00:12:11,260 --> 00:12:13,455
...would have bought us
our first real Christmas?
152
00:12:13,660 --> 00:12:16,572
You know, for a Bigfoot,
your mom's okay.
153
00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:19,775
Oh, Al, let's invite her down
for Christmas dinner.
154
00:12:19,980 --> 00:12:22,289
What, are you nuts?
155
00:12:22,540 --> 00:12:27,136
Don't you know that the holidays are
the busiest phone-sex time of all.
156
00:12:27,820 --> 00:12:31,176
Daddy, aren't you feeling just
a little guilty that most of the money...
157
00:12:31,380 --> 00:12:34,850
...that paid for this food
came from your NO MA'AM friends?
158
00:12:35,940 --> 00:12:37,692
Guilty, no. Hungry, yes.
159
00:12:39,820 --> 00:12:41,299
What I mean is, is that...
160
00:12:41,620 --> 00:12:44,851
...don't you think you should tell them
that Butter is really Grandma?
161
00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:49,651
Pumpkin, unlike marriage,
phone sex is a victimless crime.
162
00:12:51,620 --> 00:12:53,656
Why spoil the good time
of my dear friends...
163
00:12:53,860 --> 00:12:56,055
...and derail our gravy train
at the same time?
164
00:12:57,300 --> 00:13:01,134
Speaking of which, Peg, would you
pop open another can of gravy, please?
165
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:06,497
Attagirl.
166
00:13:12,020 --> 00:13:14,614
Dad's right. What they don't know,
won't hurt them.
167
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:18,296
Besides, when you dial those 900
numbers, all you really care about is--
168
00:13:23,580 --> 00:13:26,890
Getting your money back
for dialing the wrong number.
169
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:31,135
Who could that be?
170
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:34,935
Maybe one of the neighbors
found out we had food. Eat fast.
171
00:13:38,020 --> 00:13:41,330
All right, I'll get it.
Just pretend like nothing's happened.
172
00:13:43,900 --> 00:13:45,219
Shut up, now!
173
00:13:47,860 --> 00:13:49,657
Coming.
174
00:13:56,580 --> 00:13:59,492
- Hey, Al.
- Hey, Griff, how you doing?
175
00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:05,816
So you're having another
imaginary Christmas dinner?
176
00:14:08,100 --> 00:14:10,614
Yeah, well, it keeps them happy,
you know.
177
00:14:10,860 --> 00:14:12,259
Thanks for stopping by, buddy.
178
00:14:12,460 --> 00:14:14,735
Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
I need your advice.
179
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:17,574
You know, I've been talking
to Butter a lot lately.
180
00:14:17,820 --> 00:14:23,099
Al, she is more than just phone sex.
She is a beautiful human being.
181
00:14:24,340 --> 00:14:29,016
I never thought I'd say this again:
I think I'm in love.
182
00:14:34,260 --> 00:14:36,979
I think I'm about to blow gravy.
183
00:14:40,060 --> 00:14:43,769
Al, I want to ask her to spend
the holidays with me.
184
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:54,017
Family meeting.
185
00:14:54,260 --> 00:14:55,693
Al, what are we gonna do?
186
00:14:55,940 --> 00:14:58,329
If Griff finds out
that Grandma is Butter...
187
00:14:58,540 --> 00:15:00,496
...then he and the guys
will stop calling...
188
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:03,168
...and we'll have to go back
to living on your income.
189
00:15:04,620 --> 00:15:07,771
I hate him.
He's the Griff who stole Christmas.
190
00:15:08,580 --> 00:15:12,892
- I'll kill this sucker first.
- No! No! No one kills anybody here.
191
00:15:13,140 --> 00:15:15,779
Come here. I got a plan.
192
00:15:16,060 --> 00:15:18,620
I want you two
to get some candy canes...
193
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:21,129
...and lure Grandma out of her room.
194
00:15:21,380 --> 00:15:23,496
All of her, Dad?
195
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:26,495
Even the dark, mossy side?
196
00:15:27,580 --> 00:15:29,889
Yes. Will you just go do it?
197
00:15:30,340 --> 00:15:34,413
Peg, I want you to go upstairs
and talk dirty.
198
00:15:34,660 --> 00:15:38,858
Oh, Al.
You mean like this?
199
00:15:39,620 --> 00:15:40,575
Thank you, Peg.
200
00:15:40,780 --> 00:15:44,534
The one meal I've had in months
and I won't be able to keep it down.
201
00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:47,379
You said to talk dirty.
202
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:51,414
Not to me, you candied yam.
To Griff.
203
00:15:51,620 --> 00:15:52,769
I want you to go upstairs.
204
00:15:52,980 --> 00:15:56,131
When the phone rings, I want you
to answer it. Pretend you're Butter.
205
00:15:56,340 --> 00:15:59,173
Then I want you to tell him
that your love can never be.
206
00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:02,172
Well, what are you gonna do?
207
00:16:02,420 --> 00:16:05,890
I'm gonna soften him up
with our finest liquid refreshment.
208
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:09,489
The man has gravy.
209
00:16:11,540 --> 00:16:13,974
Not just for breakfast anymore.
210
00:16:15,580 --> 00:16:18,811
Al, what if Butter won't go out
with me? What will I do?
211
00:16:19,060 --> 00:16:20,652
- Not call her anymore?
- Nope.
212
00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,936
Call her often,
and call her at peak hours...
213
00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:25,608
...and talk for a long, long time.
214
00:16:26,980 --> 00:16:29,414
But never ask to meet her.
215
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,656
Okay, Al.
216
00:16:31,980 --> 00:16:36,098
This may be just the gravy talking,
but I trust your judgment.
217
00:16:38,140 --> 00:16:39,937
Here goes.
218
00:16:53,460 --> 00:16:55,291
Merry Christmas.
219
00:16:55,540 --> 00:16:58,452
You're cooking with Butter.
220
00:16:58,820 --> 00:17:01,812
Merry Christmas, Butter baby.
221
00:17:03,500 --> 00:17:07,015
This is Shoehorn O'Plenty.
222
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:12,973
You sound a little different tonight,Butter. What, you got a little cold?
223
00:17:13,180 --> 00:17:17,651
Well, I did.
But I'm warming up now.
224
00:17:18,380 --> 00:17:20,610
Look, Butter,
I know I've asked you this before...
225
00:17:20,820 --> 00:17:23,288
...but this time I really have to know.
226
00:17:23,500 --> 00:17:24,649
What do you look like?
227
00:17:27,580 --> 00:17:31,858
Al, I am really uncomfortable with this.
I don't think I can go through with it.
228
00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:35,814
Peg, Peg, Peg. Just do what we do
when we have sex.
229
00:17:36,020 --> 00:17:38,773
Pretend we're with someone else.
230
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,335
Thanks, Fabio.
231
00:17:44,860 --> 00:17:46,930
You're welcome, Ginger...
232
00:17:48,340 --> 00:17:50,251
...and Mary Ann.
233
00:17:54,500 --> 00:17:57,094
What do I look like?
234
00:17:57,340 --> 00:18:00,935
Well, I am statuesque
with flowing red hair...
235
00:18:01,180 --> 00:18:05,332
...and a booty that your hand
just aches to grab.
236
00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:11,574
- Butter, you okay?
- Oh, yes. I'm fine.
237
00:18:11,820 --> 00:18:15,779
It's just that chronic pain
in the butt I live with.
238
00:18:16,020 --> 00:18:19,729
Hey, Butter, I got to ask you this
before I lose the nerve.
239
00:18:20,340 --> 00:18:22,331
Will you come spend
the holidays with me?
240
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:27,736
Oh, well, I'd love to, Mr. O'Plenty...
241
00:18:27,940 --> 00:18:30,852
...but it's against company policy.
242
00:18:31,060 --> 00:18:33,415
You see, we phone-sex employees...
243
00:18:33,660 --> 00:18:37,699
...live by the highest moral
and ethical standards.
244
00:18:38,660 --> 00:18:42,175
Yeah, well, I'd make it a Christmas
you'd never forget.
245
00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,648
Dinner.
246
00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:45,492
Dancing.
247
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:51,531
A sleigh ride to the airport Motel 6
where I would rock your world.
248
00:18:58,740 --> 00:19:01,334
I'll be there in a half an hour.
249
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:06,818
Al, I'm leaving you.
250
00:19:07,660 --> 00:19:10,413
Peg, under normal circumstances,
I'd help you pack.
251
00:19:10,660 --> 00:19:13,811
But there's more at stake here
than our marriage, Peg, there's money.
252
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:15,169
Piles and piles of money.
253
00:19:15,380 --> 00:19:18,133
I want you to get back on that phone
and do what you do best.
254
00:19:18,340 --> 00:19:19,819
Shatter dreams.
255
00:19:21,980 --> 00:19:26,417
Look, Horn, I've got to be
perfectly honest with you.
256
00:19:26,660 --> 00:19:30,858
You see, I'm a happily married
woman with children.
257
00:19:31,100 --> 00:19:35,139
Very, very young children. Infants.
258
00:19:35,340 --> 00:19:39,015
Hey, I don't mind messing aroundwith a married woman.
259
00:19:40,420 --> 00:19:43,014
Al, I'll be back by New Year's.
260
00:19:45,140 --> 00:19:48,052
Peg, he's a shoe salesman.
261
00:19:48,300 --> 00:19:50,814
It would be like leaving me for me.
262
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,299
Oh, yeah.
263
00:19:53,540 --> 00:19:56,100
Thanks for talking me down, Al.
264
00:19:57,540 --> 00:19:58,973
Listen, Mr. O'Plenty.
265
00:19:59,180 --> 00:20:02,536
You know, it's easy to get
carried away on the phone.
266
00:20:02,740 --> 00:20:05,095
I mean, but it's all just a fantasy.
267
00:20:05,340 --> 00:20:07,490
You know my husband
may not be much...
268
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,935
...but he does keep me
in bonbons...
269
00:20:10,180 --> 00:20:15,812
...and I don't have to cook or clean
or even know where my kids are.
270
00:20:18,140 --> 00:20:20,256
Yeah, well...
271
00:20:22,220 --> 00:20:24,688
I guess, I can respect that.
272
00:20:24,980 --> 00:20:27,778
Can we still fool aroundon the phone sometimes?
273
00:20:28,020 --> 00:20:29,851
Oh, yeah.
274
00:20:30,700 --> 00:20:33,009
We can do it right now.
275
00:20:36,100 --> 00:20:38,250
Al, you've got to listen to this.
276
00:20:38,500 --> 00:20:40,252
No, I don't.
277
00:20:42,300 --> 00:20:43,255
How'd it go, buddy?
278
00:20:43,460 --> 00:20:46,896
Well, she won't go out with me,
but all is not lost.
279
00:20:47,140 --> 00:20:51,577
She reaffirmed the value
of cheap and meaningless sex.
280
00:20:51,980 --> 00:20:55,609
That's a gift I will always cherish.
281
00:21:04,740 --> 00:21:07,459
Hey, hey, guys, listen,
since the wives are downtown...
282
00:21:07,660 --> 00:21:09,730
...feeding Christmas dinners
to the homeless...
283
00:21:09,940 --> 00:21:13,819
...shouldn't we be down at the nudie bar
feeding dollars to the topless?
284
00:21:15,700 --> 00:21:18,533
- Great idea! To the nudie bar!
- Yes!
285
00:21:18,940 --> 00:21:20,532
Where Christmas is nice
286
00:21:20,780 --> 00:21:22,691
And lap dances are half price
287
00:21:22,940 --> 00:21:25,090
To the nudie bar!
288
00:21:25,340 --> 00:21:29,492
- Where you drink down the shooters
- And unwrap the hooters
289
00:21:29,740 --> 00:21:31,571
At the nudie bar!
290
00:21:31,820 --> 00:21:35,449
- Where eggnog's a-plenty
- And the girls are all 20
291
00:21:35,700 --> 00:21:39,215
At the nudie bar!
292
00:21:44,340 --> 00:21:46,729
I recognize those voices.
293
00:21:46,980 --> 00:21:53,328
Butcher Boy, Psycho Cop,
Hot Pants, Ken Doll, Shoe Horn.
294
00:21:54,300 --> 00:21:57,929
It's me, Butter.
23830
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