All language subtitles for Married.At.First.Sight.S17E11.1080p.WEB.h264-EDITH[EZTVx.to]_track3_eng

- ♪ It's time
to shout it out louder ♪

- Just under one month ago,

eight singles took
the ultimate leap of faith

in order to find love.

They married
as complete strangers.

But for one groom, the journey
ended before it even began.

- I couldn't move her enough
to even give this a shot.

- He will rise from this,
and she's out there, man.

♪

- How are you?
- Hi. Good seeing you.

- Last time,
our remaining couples

continued to dive deeper

in order to better
understand their partner

as they navigate
the highs and lows

of everyday domestic life.

♪

- So when we're
talking about sex,

is it okay to do other things?

- We haven't yet,
but it's okay to.

- I think she just
perked up a little bit.

♪

- Do you want me to stay?

- I don't--I don't know.

I just don't want you
to be resentful towards me

about anything.

- I mean, I'm not yet.

♪

- Is not a very good feeling
when someone tells you

you should go to therapy.

- While I understand
that that was

a hard recommendation for you,
I actually think

it's a very important piece
to the problem.

♪

- You know, I don't think
it would be beneficial

to continue on
with the marriage

because I know in my heart,
I'm already out.

- I'm very excited to just
continue on with life

and know that I tried my best.

♪

- ♪ So dance the night away

- We're going in.

- And tonight,
our couples approach

their one-month anniversary.

♪

- Killed it.

- Can we, like, agree to,
like, try to hug more?

- Yes. I love hugging.

- Awesome.
Should we start that now?

- Right this very moment?
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Do you guys see yourself--
do you see a future?

- Clare, way to stir the pot.

- I'm sorry.
- I know.

- If he's not sure of you,
you need to walk away.

- And so it's hard to, like,
be married to someone

that isn't sure
whether I do or not.

And it just makes me feel
really sad and hurt.

- On the count of three,
say you want a divorce...

- Oh, no!
- No!

- That is absolutely not
what I was trying to get to.

- Or you want to keep trying.

- Don't wanna resent you,
and, like,

I don't think you understand
that will happen

if you don't make changes.

- And for the first time

in "Married at First Sight"
history...

- There has been some talk
about if you would be willing

to take another chance.

♪

- ♪ It's all or nothing

- This is
"Married at First Sight."

- ♪ There's no other way

♪

♪ It's all or nothing

- ♪ Up, up, up we go

♪ Move around, going running

♪ Everybody's up and bumping

♪ Move fast, move that,
you mad ♪

♪ Baby, keep it
coming, coming ♪

♪ Ain't no way
it's ever stopping ♪

♪ Move that,
sure can't hold back ♪

- Here's your dough.

- Oh, nice.

- And then I'm Googling.

Treat the dough gently.

- I feel like the dough
just wants me

to be patient with it.

So I'm just trying to go
at her pace, you know?

- I'm trying to be gentle
'cause I am not.

[chuckles]

And this is delicate.

- Oh, yours is really good.

This was such a great idea.

Thanks for getting
all the stuff.

- Yeah, it's like,
this is a good way

to, like, offset last night,

even though, like,
I think we are fine.

- Yeah, I think it was just,

like,
a little miscommunication.

- Yeah.

But I enjoyed Pia.

- Yeah.

- And I know you don't
wanna go to therapy,

and I get it,
but I need you to continue

just to, like, open up
and share more.

- Yeah.
- I think it's getting better.

- Yeah.

- Which is important
because this can get better.

And I think last week
was harder

to, like, measure progress
'cause we needed to, like,

get through moving in
and all of that.

So I think now it's just
gonna be more important

coming out
of these conversations

just moving forward, that,
like, we're actually

taking action on this stuff.

So that's why, like,
it's important for me

at the highest level this week
to figure out how we do that.

- Yeah.
- And when we set the goals.

- I know we agreed
to do Pia's exercises,

but the touching one
seemed a little odd to me

to, like, force each other
to, like, touch.

- What I want you to do is,

you're going to touch one
another from head to toe

with as minimal clothing

as the two of you
feel comfortable with.

That would be okay?
- Yeah.

- Okay.
We're getting somewhere.

We're getting somewhere!
Brennan, I'm proud of you.

- I think we can pivot
on that a little bit.

- Yeah.
- And maybe expand--

like, for me, I like hugging.
- Yeah.

- So I think instead of, like,
the whole boop and then boop,

can we, like, agree to, like,
try to hug more?

- Yeah, I love hugging.
- Okay. Awesome.

Should we start that now?

- Right this very moment?

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

♪

- But I think the hugging is
complementary to talking more.

- Right.

- And I'd rather focus
on that, you know, like,

continuing to build
the emotional connection,

and, like, go back
to conversations.

I feel like
we haven't had a chance

to, like, do that because...
- Mm-hmm.

- I think will be important.
- Okay.

- 'Cause, like, some of the,
like, past relationship stuff,

I think would be
helpful for me.

So then I think,
like, that's probably

what I will wanna talk
to you about this week.

- Okay. Gotcha.
- Yeah.

- We can talk through
some of it later.

- Um...

I just want you to know,
while I can feel frustrated

here and there, I'm sure
you feel the same with me.

Like, I am committed
to this, to you,

and to, like,
figuring this all out.

And I know we're in
different spots currently.

But yeah, like, I just
wouldn't be doing this

if I didn't want to
or think it was worth it.

- Same.

♪

- So I'm a little nervous
about this meeting.

We're here to see Michael after
this debacle at the altar.

- I'm sorry.

I don't think I can do this.

I don't wanna
marry a stranger.

- Oh.

- I can say we've never
had anything close to this.

- Not since I've been here.
I haven't seen it.

- And it's to me,
an emotional disaster.

I feel terrible about it,

and I wanna find out
how he's thinking,

um, and how he's feeling.

Honestly, I feel terrible about
being one of the people

who matched him
because had I an inkling,

this, of course,
wouldn't happen.

- You can never know exactly
what's going to happen.

You make the best decision
that you have

based on the information
that you have at the time.

And I don't think any of us
could have seen this coming.

- No. No, we couldn't.

Yeah, I really
feel bad for him.

And I gotta admit,
he was very classy

during the entire thing.

You know, he was
a complete gentleman.

- Sure.
- But I just give him

so much credit for being
a gentleman, you know,

about the whole thing.

♪

- Hi.
- King Michael.

- Yes. Amazing.

- Make sure I don't
poke any eyes out.

- It's the crown for me.
- It's good to see you.

- Mm-hmm.
- Hey, buddy.

Good to see you, man.
- And you as well.

- Good to see you.
- Of course. You as well.

- All right.

- I like the crown.

- I have no negative things
to say about the crown.

It was a great gift, so.

- I--you know, first of all,
let me speak for all of us

that we are appalled
that this happened

and feel so bad for you.

We have--well, we wouldn't
have matched you

if we didn't think you were,
you know,

a really interesting,
great guy.

- Mm-hmm.

- And we thought
we had picked somebody

who would be the right choice
for each of you.

She had seemed resolute,
committed, excited.

- Mm-hmm.

- I just didn't
pick up anything.

And honestly, I couldn't
believe it happened.

It's never happened before.

- It was tough,
'cause I'll be honest,

I didn't really contemplate
that possibility,

meeting my potential wife,
and her just saying no.

But in the moment,
seeing her in what I considered

a very vulnerable state--

- Mm.

- Even if I was mad, like,
there was no incentive

to express any type of anger
in that moment.

Once I went upstairs,
I will admit,

I was a little upset.

Your mind works how it works,

and so immediately,
my mind is going to, like,

what if she saw me prior,
and was like,

there's no way I could do that.

And you know, that hits--

that hits a certain way.

And I'll be honest,
there was a moment

where almost, like,
an existential moment,

I was like, wow, like, the--

the woman that they felt
was a great match for me

is the same woman
who doesn't even want

to do this journey with me.

And, like, that--

I think that's probably when,
like, I started crying.

I didn't verbalize that part,
but, like, I felt it.

- We have matched you
to become more and more in love

if you give yourself
that option.

- Mm-hmm.

- She took away
all the options.

And all she had was her own
fears, her own background,

and a very quick vision of you.
- Mm-hmm.

- So this really couldn't
have been about you.

- I'm curious, though,
how has this affected your--

your view of marriage?

- It hasn't.

My response and my feelings
about this experience

is specific to me, not to my
ideas of marriage as a whole.

- Wow.
That is how you need to think

in order to have
a successful relationship.

- You know your worth,
you know your value,

and you deserve someone
who appreciates that as well.

- Well, thank you.
- You're very welcome.

- So Michael, there has been
some talk about whether

we could find in the very
large pool of people

that we didn't look at
closely enough.

If we could find someone
we thought was worthy,

would you be willing
to take another chance

while we're still in Denver?

I don't know
if there is such a person,

but if there were,
would you want

to face that moment again?

♪

♪

- You know, you emotionally
and mentally

kind of tune yourself for this.

And I discovered things
about myself

that I didn't realize
in the moment.

Like, I knew I was
ready for marriage,

but I didn't know
I was that ready.

So to answer your question,
I would 100% do this again.

- And you're gonna make
someone extremely happy.

♪

- If we could find
someone else,

after going through this
experience, up to this point...

- Mm-hmm.
- Tell me now.

I mean, we asked you
before you were in this,

but now that you've
gone through all this,

and you've had
these challenges,

tell me the kind of woman
you'd be looking for.

- I mean, of course, I would,
you know,

love an intelligent woman.

Someone that, you know,
is very witty and quick,

and is very invested
in themselves.

And I think maybe what
I didn't articulate as well

is how much I appreciate,
like, silliness too.

I know it doesn't
come out here as much,

but I'm a pretty silly person.

- [laughs]

- And I kind of love
that levity of, like,

you can be that strong version
of yourself

in whatever form
you need to be,

but that you also have
that latitude of, like,

letting yourself
be silly and goofy.

But I would also
reiterate that sweetness.

Like, yeah, you might
be a hard-ass at work,

but there's that
sweet nature that really,

you foster inside of you.
- I do.

- Okay, we're looking
for sweet and silly. [laughs]

- Yeah.
- Okay.

- One thing that
we are sure of--

and I think we all can agree--

is that we are
completely, absolutely,

unequivocally convinced

that we chose
the right husband.

You are a king.

- We think you have what it
takes to create a relationship

that has depth and fun in it.

I really hope we could find
the right person for you.

- We're going to put our nose
to the grindstone

and see what we can do.

- Well, thank you.

That means a lot.
- All right.

To the future.
- To the future.

- To the future.
- To the future.

- ♪ You only got one life

♪ I'm not wasting it now

♪

- [laughs] Oh, I'm nervous.

I'm about to make a fool.

It's been a minute
since we've skied.

- I'm still trying to figure
out Clare, I'll be honest.

She does say one thing one day

and says something different
the next day.

So today, with the fun
that we're having,

with Dr. Pia's advice,
I'm hoping that at minimum,

she'll figure out what
she wants 'cause obviously,

we've had problems
meeting in the same place.

- You feel like skiers?

- We're--I'm feeling
like a skier.

- You look like skiers.
- [laughs]

♪

- Follow me on up.

♪

- It's been a long time
since I skied.

I know Cameron
hasn't skied in a minute.

So I think it'll be a lot of
fun, but, like, I don't know.

There's just a lot of things
that we need to work through.

And maybe this will really
bring out, like, the playful,

fun side of both of us,
to really help us

turn the relationship around.

I don't know.

♪

- Yeah.
- Wow.

Look at him go.

- Very nice.

- Ooh.

♪

- Good.

- Cameron,
you're gonna run into me?

- Don't be afraid
to move over a lot.

♪

- Cameron, get ready.
- No.

She wants to go
between my legs.

- I'm doing it.
- Yeah!

- I'll slow it down for you.
- Go in front of me.

- Okay, slow it down.
- If we fall, we fall.

- Okay. Okay.

- Cameron, you gotta come up
a little bit, though.

Meet me halfway.
- Okay, nice instructing.

Thank you.

♪

- Cameron, you gotta move back
a little bit, dude.

- Well, I'm [bleep] trying.

♪

- Killed it!

- Nice.
- [laughs]

- All right, Cameron,
come on down.

- That was impressive.

- Yeah.

- I am definitely trying,
and I will

continue to try, for sure.

But I think it's hard
because I do think Cameron

has given a lot of his energy

into trying to make
this marriage work,

but I think
he's checked out, you know?

And it's making it
a little uncomfortable,

to be quite honest.

- So we're taking
Dr. Pia's advice.

- Yup.
- We're having fun.

- We are.
- We're killing the fun.

♪

- But it is weird.

And I--I'll say weird
'cause it is weird.

Like, I'm sorry.

That is the only feeling
I have about it.

We did not
get to sign up for this

to be in a platonic marriage.

[laughs] I mean, did you sign
up for a platonic marriage?

'Cause I most certainly didn't.
- I did not.

- And do you feel
like that's where--where--

like, it's just weird.

- Mm-hmm.
- I don't know.

I didn't wanna--

- I mean, I feel like
you just have said

exactly what I was saying.
- Right.

- You know? It just--
- Right, and I just--

- It took you a little bit
to catch up.

- Well, I'm just--
I needed to reflect

after Dr. Pia's visit.
- Okay.

- I mean, it's important
to implement the, like--

the having fun,
and taking your mind off of,

like, the stress that
sometimes relationships can be.

- I don't know
if I would force, like,

a particular schedule on us.

I don't wanna be, like,
it's the first Thursday

of every month.
It's fun day today.

- [laughs] That's fair.

But, like, I feel like some
things do need to be planned.

And I'm not a quitter.

So I do think it's important

that we try everything,
you know?

♪

- Yeah.

- I am worried
that he may start

to become resentful of the
time that we're spending

right now with one another.

Like, that is my worst fear

because he is like
a best friend to me.

And so I would be so sad if I--
if that was stripped away

from me just because
we tried to force

something that wasn't there.

- Look, we're in
a difficult spot.

- Right.

- So we can have fun,
but it does--

there is kind of that
looming feeling of...

okay.
- Yeah.

But I still think
that we should be

embracing every single moment.

- Mm-hmm.
- You know what I mean?

And so that's kind of where,
like, how I feel.

Yeah.

So...yeah.

♪

- ♪ I can feel the water

♪ Batten up the doors

♪ Before the flood

- Earlier today
was a little difficult.

We were just talking about
religion a little bit,

and I'm having
a really hard time with it.

And, um, it wasn't
really going well.

I still don't even know, like,
what to say or what to do.

I'm hoping that Pastor Cal
will guide us.

- Hey, Cal.

- 'Cause, like, I don't know--

I don't know what to do.

- What's going on, guys?

- Hi.

- [sighs] Well, I was
gonna say not a lot,

but that's not quite true.
[chuckles]

- That's not true
at all, is it?

- No.

- So I understand we've
been having

some discussions
about religion.

- Yeah.

- We just, like,
got into a topic of, like,

heaven and hell, and, like,
Austin was being, like,

very loving and comforting,

and just telling me that,
like, you know,

even if it does end up that,
like, I do die,

and I do go to hell,
like, he still thinks

that he can, like,
love me in the same way

in this lifetime.

Um...

- How does that make you feel?

- Um, it makes me feel
less than.

I don't think
I'm going to hell.

Um, and so it's hard to, like,
be married to someone

that isn't sure
whether I do or not.

And it just makes me feel
really sad and hurt.

- Yeah.

Do you believe in hell, Becca?

- No, not really.

I mean, I don't know.

To me, like, being agnostic
means that, like,

anything could be true,
and anybody could be right.

I like not knowing.

Like, I love that
anybody could be right.

But, like, to think that
if he believes that after this,

we do go somewhere, and that we
would go to different places--

- That kind of breaks you up.

- [sobs]
Yeah. It really hurts.

- I'm so glad you guys
are talking to me about this.

But here's the thing.
Here's the thing.

Neither you, Austin,
you, Becca, or I

have ever left this life

and come back
to say what happens.

I don't think anybody has the
power or authority to do that.

Is that fair enough to say?

- Yeah.
- Right, Austin?

I mean, help me.
- Yeah, yeah.

- But this is what he said
his church taught.

- I said my church
is accepting of gay people

and anything that, like,
is thought of and--

- But if you don't
accept Jesus,

then you're going to hell.
- Right.

- Okay.
Let me tell you something.

There are people who say they
accept Jesus and are still

doing a whole lot of stuff
that the Bible says

will keep you out of heaven.

So let's just get real
with it.

Accepting Jesus is one thing,

but accepting the principles
of Jesus

is something
completely different,

which are open to everybody.

Is it reasonable for God
to say, hey, look,

you can only accept--

go to heaven if you
accept Jesus Christ.

However, if you're born
in Afghanistan,

and you never get a chance
to accept Jesus Christ,

oh, well, you burn in hell.

- I mean, that's--
- Is that what I'm to believe?

- I mean, that's not
what I believe, either.

- That's not what you believe?

- No.
- Okay, fine.

Is it possible that
you can see yourself

to looking at different
possibilities, Austin?

Where are you on that?

- Yeah, I mean, I'm always open
to, like, hearing new theories.

And one thing that, like,
we kind of connected on

was, like, the similarities
between, like, Christianity,

Judaism, and Islam is, like--
- Absolutely.

- So I am, like,
somewhat, like, agnostic

in the fact that, like,
there are so many similarities,

like, they could all be
the same thing.

Like, who's to say? Who knows?

Like, I don't, that's for sure.

But, like, I'm always open
to learning more,

to talking to people,
to figuring this out,

like, regardless
of how I grew up,

or, like, what I believe
happens in the afterlife.

I don't think any of that
affects how I care for you.

Like, I can still love you,
like, regardless

of whatever happens
in the afterlife.

- And I'm thankful for that.

But I'm just saying,
like, if he were paired, like,

with a Christian woman,
like, he would--

- He wasn't.

We didn't pair him
with a Christian woman

because you were his match.

You are his match. Period.

Couples always have issues.

There will always
be something.

We chose you because
we felt that you would be

compatible with this man,
and that he would be

compatible with you, that he
would love who you are,

and that you would
love who he is.

And I believe
that's happening.

And you guys,
the only reason you're

showing this kind
of emotion is because

of the deep emotion
and deep passion

you feel for each other.

Is that safe to say?

- I thought we were feeling it.

- [chuckles] Yeah.

- I don't--I don't know--
- I do not, Becca?

He says he is.
- No.

Austin, the other night,

accidentally told me
he loved me. [laughs]

But it was a joke.
[chuckles]

- It was not a joke.
- No, he was really tired.

He was really tired,
and he said,

"Love you, good night."

- And that's when truth
comes out.

It's like being drunk.

Most people are in love

long before they recognize it.

- Yeah.

- If you didn't care
for one another,

this wouldn't even be
a conversation.

- No, I'm feeling this way

because I want us
to work so badly.

- And that's what's
going to make you work.

That is the thing that
you need to hold on to.

The fact that
you want this so badly.

And that is where
you need to focus.

- ♪ I need something ♪

[upbeat music]

♪

- So how was that for you?

There were times
when I felt like

you wanted to say more
or get more out.

Do you feel satisfied?

- If you do think that
I'm going to hell,

then that won't work for me.

- Okay.

I don't know what I think.

- Okay.

♪

- I feel like you want
an answer out of me right now,

and, like,
I don't have an answer for you.

It's not like I can, like,
sit down for hours a day

and, like, think about this--
this one thing--

- I'm not asking for that.

I just want it
to be a priority.

- Yeah.

- I--like--

I think our marriage is
a priority to both of us.

And, like, this is...
- Yeah.

- A large difference
in us that we have to try

to understand in our marriage.

And I think, like,
I've made it a priority,

and I would love if you
made it a priority too.

- Like, it is.

- I just know
in the past four weeks,

you haven't talked to anybody
about religion yet.

- Where is the time?

- That's fine.

Then if you--you don't wanna
find the time, but it's okay.

- It's not that I don't
wanna find the time.

- Well, like,
if you don't think

that there's time
to explore it,

then that's what I'm hearing
from you, and that's okay.

- I'm not saying that.

I'm just saying that, like,
this will take time.

And I'm just asking you
to give me time to do it

'cause, like,
these are big questions.

- I said that I would
give you time.

I'm just asking for you
not to put it off.

I think all I really
need to hear right now

is that you're gonna make it
a priority.

- I absolutely will
make it a priority.

It never hasn't been.

- That's all I needed to hear.

- Okay.

Thank you
for sharing that with me.

♪

- ♪ I just wanna feel
everything, let me feel ♪

♪ Let me feel, oh

♪

♪ I just wanna feel
everything, let me feel ♪

♪

- Hey!

You look cute.
- Thanks. So do you.

- I love the hair.

- There's a nice
fire pit over here.

- Yeah. Nice. Yeah.
They got, like, four grills?

- Yeah.

- I wanna know, like,
A, how you're doing,

B, like, if you've had
any communication with Orion.

- Yes, I'm good.
No, I haven't. Done.

- Okay.
[laughter]

That's all we need to know.

- No, I think we're--

one thing we're good at
is giving each other space.

- Yeah. Yeah.

- I haven't spoken with Lauren.

You know, after the whole
potluck with everybody,

I guess I got more
of an understanding

how far we are
from each other in terms

of not being on the same page,
not even the same book.

- I very much appreciate
hearing Orion's perspective

because he felt for what
was best for himself

that he had to leave
his marriage.

And right now,
I'm essentially on the brink

of walking away
from my marriage.

I think Clare and I
are at the point where, um,

I'm going to need to advocate
for myself.

All of my emotional
capital is gone.

But when I reach
my breaking point,

she'll throw something out
that reels me right back in.

- Hmm. So what reels you in?

- Any display,
verbally or physically,

that there's a chance.

Like, the other night,
she's--she's saying

that she prefers
when I'm in the apartment

versus when I'm not.

Like, that reels me
right back in.

- I don't know.

I just--something doesn't
feel totally there yet.

'Cause I'm so in my head, like,

he's not actually attracted
to me.

Is he just trying to force it
because we're married now?

He's trying to, like,
make it work solely

because he wants
the marriage to work?

Or does he wanna make
it work, like,

because he actually
is attract--I don't know.

And I think I have been so
in my head this entire time.

- At any chance that
I have gotten, I have shown

that I want to try
and make this work,

that I am attracted to her,
that I value her immensely,

and that I--

and I'm gonna say this
in past tense,

I had feelings for her.

- Man.

- And Cameron and I are at a
place where he is leaning more

towards divorce at this time...
- Mm-hmm.

- Which is heartbreaking.

Because if my marriage ends in
divorce, that's not something

I want to happen at all.

But we've hit a wall.

- Do you think you're
getting too far ahead?

Like, with the future tripping?

Is that what we calling it,
right, future tripping?

- Future tripping,
and that's what Dr. Pia said.

She was, like, you two just
seem so focused on the future

that you're not really
focusing on enjoying

each other's presence
right here, right now.

So that's why we're trying
to, like, go on more dates,

and, like,
we're doing fun things.

But, like, it just feels so
forced, you know what I mean?

My fear is that
we're forcing it so much

that he just wants
to remove himself entirely.

And I don't want him to just
all of a sudden be, like,

I don't wanna
see this person anymore.

- Honestly, man, I'm taking
this time being away from,

you know, the marriage,
and just kind of all of it,

having the time to reflect,
I wish I advocated

for myself a bit more.

So maybe it's not
in your best benefit

to just be the good husband
that shows up

and is ready to do this
just because I just

don't want you to get cut
at the knees.

Just keep on track
with what you want

and be your own advocate
in those moments.

- I want to take your--
I wanna take your advice.

But I can tell you, I know
for a fact that I'm gonna say,

"You know what?
That's it. I'm leaving."

And it's gonna be, "Oh,
I don't want you to leave,"

or "I'll try now."
- Mm-hmm.

Don't get so reeled
back in, you know?

Because once
the feelings do go,

it is hard to continue to try.

- Yeah.

- ♪ 'Cause it all
breaks down ♪

- I think that part of
people's want to skirt out fast

is, like, a control thing.

It's,
"This sucks in the moment.

"I don't like it,
and I'm not in control.

The only way I can take control
is to leave."

- So your advice to me
is to stick this out?

- [sighs] If you step out now,
you might have what-ifs.

And to me, what-ifs are,
like, the worst.

♪

[upbeat music]

- ♪ This is a brand new day

♪

- Morning.

- Good morning.

- Happy one month.
- Happy one month.

[both chuckle]

- We made a lot of progress

with our
effective communication.

And waking up today, I feel
excited to go horseback riding

with you, and go on
another little adventure

through the mountains.

- I'm excited, too,
for an adventure.

I think it's overdue.

♪

- So Cameron and I are not
celebrating our anniversary

because I think
the word anniversary

put a lot of pressure on him,

and I think there's
definitely, like,

some lingering confusion
and just, like, mixed emotions

that are just really weighing
on me, that I just--

I can't take that weight off.

And I'm trying to get familiar
with these feelings

and these emotions,
but they're not

making sense to me,
and so I just feel bad

that, like, when Cameron
asked me, like, how I feel,

sometimes I just
literally don't know.

So I don't think it's
too far gone for us

to just be, like,
okay, we're done.

But the word anniversary
just was a little much for us

to, like, really soak in.

Yeah.

♪

- ♪ Never gonna give up,
never gonna ♪

♪ Never gonna back down,
never gonna ♪

♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

♪ Keep on going

- Hello, Becca and Austin.

Congratulations on making it
to your one month anniversary.

By now, I am sure you
have started to realize

that marriage is not
always easy,

especially when it's
to a stranger.

This week is about celebrating
the hurdles you've overcome,

the conversations and
vulnerabilities you've shared,

and the growth you have
accomplished both together

and individually.

We wish you the very best.

Please enjoy this video.

♪

- Oh, gosh.

- Honey.

♪

- Becca.
- Yes?

- Meet
for the very first time,

Austin, your husband to be.

[laughter]

Austin,
meet for the very first time,

Becca, your wife to be.

- I promise to laugh
with you, at you.

We will laugh.
- Great.

[laughter]

- I promise to be vulnerable
and honest with you,

even when it's not comfortable
or easy.

I promise to share
my N64 with you,

so long as you're okay
with losing.

- Losing? Losing?

[laughter]

- You're so cute.
- My turn.

Aw.

I hope we become best friends,
fall in love,

and spending the rest
of our lives living together.

Since today, I choose you
to be my wife,

and I'm excited
to start building a life

far better than either one
of us could have imagined.

[both laugh]

- And now, I pronounce you
a married couple.

- It looks like
we've done that 55 times.

Like, that's our first kiss,
and it looks so good.

[cheering]

- Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my pleasure

to introduce for the first time

as husband and wife,
Becca and Austin.

[cheering]

- Aww.

- I wanna do it again.

Again and again and again.

♪

I really liked it.
- Yeah, that was sweet.

- I feel like
when Pastor Cal said,

are you guys in the stages
of falling in love?

You said yes, and I feel same.

- Yeah.
You didn't make that apparent.

- I was so tired.

I, like, didn't even, like--

English didn't even
sound like English.

- Yeah.
- It was hard.

- It's a long day.
- Yeah.

- Well, let's make today
a lot more fun.

- Yeah, okay.
- Less emotionally exhausting.

- Okay, great.
- Okay, great.

Monthiversary it is.

♪

- Just so happy to see you.

- Oh, that's sweet.
I'm so happy it's you.

♪

- ♪ Get away, get away from

♪ All we know, gotta go

♪ It's time to run

- It's pretty.

- So nice.

Wow.

- I'm excited we made it
to our one month.

It is a milestone.
- It is.

I'm just, you know, it hasn't
felt, like, a month, honestly.

- I wonder how fast
the next month is gonna be.

- Yeah.
- Or slow.

I think it's gonna feel slower.

- You think?
- Yeah.

'Cause we have serious [bleep]
to talk about.

- Yeah.

♪

- What's up, man?
- How's it going?

- Hello.
- It's going.

- Brendan and Emily, I presume?

both:
Yes.

- This past month, it's just--

it's just a lot.

And while I know we still have
a lot of conversations ahead,

I'm so glad now that
we decided to go back

to what I think him and I

enjoy a lot,
which is adventure.

- This is Gucci.
- Ooh. Okay.

- Gucci, my guy.

- And I think that
getting the opportunity

to do more adventures,
I think is kind of just

setting our relationship
up for success.

- All right, guys, here we go.
- Let's do it.

- Here we go.
- Come on, Doc, giddy up.

♪

Feel like Doc goes really slow.

♪

- Gucci's raring to go.
I can feel it.

- You guys wanna trot
real quick?

- Yeah, let's trot.

- I just wanna show the world
what Gucci can do.

- How do we make them trot?
- Just click your heels.

- Go, go, go, go.
- Yeah, give him some punch.

- Oh, [bleep].
We're going this way.

- Yeah.
- Attaboy.

- Come on. Let's go.
- Go ahead. Go ahead.

- Go, go, go, go, go, go.

- Attaboy, Guc.

- Whoo, we're going.

Come on.
- Good boy.

- He is.
- No, no.

[horse snorting]

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

♪

Jeez.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

[horse snorting]

Oh, [bleep].
I almost just ate it.

Sorry, Guc.

That was crazy.
He literally just slipped.

- Sorry if that was
a little scary for you.

- No.

I know Gucci wouldn't
let anything happen.

He just slipped.

Gucci, you did it, buddy.

Thanks, bud.

- Wow, this is so pretty.

♪

- Very scenic.
- Yes.

I feel like we need
to do something next

that, like, is maybe
a little bit more

suspenseful, like, adrenaline.

Scary.

- Scary.
[both laugh]

I don't know, when he was
slipping, that, uh--

- That was scary. Yeah.
- But he's all right.

- Right, Gucci?

- Brennan really bonded
with his horse.

It was cute/bizarre,
but it's emotion.

And I'm like,
this is something. [chuckles]

I love that you have
a connection with this horse

so instantly.
- So weird.

But you feel it, too, huh, bud?

- Definitely feel the spark
with the horse, right?

He felt the spark
with the horse.

Just not really with me.

- Gucci is just special.

- Yeah.

Him and Gucci.

- Let's go.

♪

[upbeat music]

- So we just got back
from a day in Pueblo.

- Amazing.
- Riding the canyons.

I got a day away from the wife.

And a few hours of, um,

of some of the more
technical trails,

I was able to clear my head

and, um, and just spend time
with those that I love,

and have a great time
riding my bike.

- Yeah, good to
see you again, man.

It's been a while.
- Yeah.

♪

- ♪ When the sky is falling,
I will pick it up again ♪

- Oh, I'm nervous.
- [laughs] Oh, I'm so scared.

- You need one of these?

- Yeah. [laughs]
- Think you do.

- ♪ And I won't give up,
won't give up ♪

♪ Won't give up

- Whoo-hoo!

I was gonna try to see if I can
go backwards with this thing.

- Do it, try going backwards.

♪

I feel incredibly lucky to
have been matched with Becca.

Now, turn the other way,
turn the other way.

- Am I turning?
- Oh, too much! Too much!

- Ahh!
[laughs]

- One of the great things
about our relationship is,

we built up this foundation
in which we can, like,

feel safe going into, like,
the big topics,

which gives us the
perfect space to have, like,

romantic fun days like today.

- ♪ Ooh, you know
I'm not perfect ♪

♪ But baby, it's worth it

♪ We can work it out

- This is nice. I like this.
- [giggles]

You like not having to work.
- This is a lot of fun.

Uh, I'm your support system.
- You are.

- But yeah.

- Although I don't know
how much I trust your balance.

- I'm your support.
- You almost--

- You do all the leg work.

That's how
this relationship works.

- That actually is.

[laughter]

Trust is everything
in a marriage,

and I think this process,
like, this is so wild,

and, like, it pushes you
in, like,

all of these
different extremes,

and, like, there's a lot of
things that I can't control.

And I'm still just giving
Austin time and space

to, like, process all of,
like, the spiritual things

that we've talked about.

- You wanna roast
some marshies?

- Yeah, I do.

- ♪ The stars
come out tonight ♪

- Oh, boy. It's hot, man.

- [chuckles] It's good.

You're usually cold, so--

- Ooh!

- We're going
in the middle, though.

- Oh, you're one of those
that blows them out

when they get on fire?
- Yeah, of course.

- Ugh.
- Classic.

- I can't believe I'm married
to one of those.

[laughs]
That is a loose mallow.

- [laughs]

♪

- Nailed it.
- You're a liability.

- Nailed it.

- I cannot.

You're just gonna
light it on fire again?

- Yep.

I didn't really know
what marriage would be like,

but it's been, like, really
great and really amazing,

and I've loved
doing it with you.

And another thing that
has just kind of, like,

made this relationship
so easy and unique

is, like, the amount of trust
we've had with each other,

like, since the beginning.

And it feels like every day,
that builds more.

And I think
that's really sweet,

and I'm really excited to--

to be in a relationship
like that.

- Yeah. Me, too.

And I think it's nice
because in a lot

of my past relationships,
like, guys have just

been really avoidant
and have just, like,

gone with whatever I want.

And I think although it wasn't
easy for me to hear that,

like, you still have
searching to do,

like, in regards to religion,
like,

you don't have any answers yet
for me.

And, like, while that still
leaves me in, like,

discomfort and, like, anxiety.

I'd way rather that than,
like, you just

compromise who you are
to make us work.

I appreciate that a lot.

- I do promise to be with you
through thick and thin

and, like, respect you
and be kind to you

and listen to you
and give you the things

you need to be successful.

- It was, like, very comforting
to hear that in your vows.

And to hear it again today
is nice.

- Aww.
- So thank you.

- Absolutely.

- ♪ I never wasted time

- Glad we made it to a month.
- [laughs]

- I'm proud of us.
- Proud of us.

- And I'm excited to celebrate
every single month

until we die.
- Oh, my God. Sounds great.

- Kiss me.
- I'm not freaking out inside.

- You married me.

[laughter]

I'm freaking out inside.

It's what you
signed up for, bro.

I hate you.

- Love liking you.

[laughter]

- That's my new favorite.

[laughter]

- ♪ I love you so

♪ I love you so

- ♪ Summer on the outside

♪ Trying to find a way
that we can get back in ♪

- Nice.

♪

- This is a really nice place.

- Yeah.
- Thank you.

Thank you. Appreciate it.
- Right away.

- All right, well, cheers.

- Salt? [laughs]
I don't know.

Purple salt?
- That's cool.

Oh, this place has everything.
- Cheers.

I feel like today was, like,
a good stepping stone,

but I need to see just
some more progress and change.

And I think what's important
for us is to, like,

set a new tone
for our next chapter

after one month,
whatever that means.

Do you wanna stir
the Caesar first?

- Oh, it's Caesar.
- It's grilled.

- Very nice.
This is beautiful.

- I'll let you cut that salad.

- I will do my best.

- I feel like this week
couldn't have gone better,

at least for me.
- Yeah.

- Like, getting in, living
together, crazy schedules.

Like, I feel like
we got into a rhythm.

- Yeah, you've made it a very
comfortable place to live.

So it's allowed me
to really trust the process

and stay moved in.

But you know,
I don't wanna sugarcoat it

and be, like, this has been--

like, obviously,
it's been a lot of fun,

like, and everything,
but this has been, like,

very tough, like,
at least for me.

And in the past,
I would have just

ran from, like, a red flag.

Like, oh, not there anymore.
Done.

- So I'm a red flag?

- I mean...

♪

Um, yeah.

Like, it's very uncomfortable
to have something

and then have it gone,
and you don't know why.

What I would do in the past is,
when that would fizzle out,

I would just run.

Where here,
I don't wanna do that.

And I've been trying.

- I don't know.

I just need to, like, learn
more about this, like, running.

- Um, yeah.

- I was curious to know
while you had the spark

immediately with them,
like, did you take things

slow after that?

- This isn't like
any relationship, right?

Like, this is
totally different.

I'm just taking it day by day.

Honestly, like, I'm just
giving it time and seeing

if that, you know,
changes anything.

- I feel like
he doesn't understand

that we have been taking it
day by day.

But that is not
going to cut it.

I need to see more.

We're in this space
because he can't express, like,

the littlest of things
that I think would help me

understand, like, why
he's feeling the way he is.

Like, we have to move forward,
and in order to do that,

I need to see
a little bit more

of him opening up
and expressing himself.

I mean, I was just curious
'cause I feel like

I was just asking you
the shortest terms, like,

did you have a spark?

I never really asked, like, oh,
like, how was the pace after?

- Yeah. I know what you mean.
- I get feelings change.

- Like, I'm just trying
to be honest.

Like--
- No, yeah.

That's what I'm trying
to be right now too.

- Like, I don't know if
it was fizz or adrenaline.

You know what I mean?

And that's where
I'm trying to navigate.

- Now I don't know, either,
how to navigate anything.

♪

- ♪ Oh, come on

♪ 'Cause I'm giving my heart
to a known heartbreaker ♪

♪ Say it ain't so

♪ 'Cause I'm giving my heart
to a known heartbreaker ♪

♪

- So Cameron sends me
a text message,

and he tells me that
he's not coming home.

It's sad,
but it's not something

that is totally shocking.

And I respect him saying,
yeah, I am getting attached

to something that
I won't be able to have

for the rest of my life.

And this is the moment
that I need to tap out

because it's getting
a little too much

for my heart to handle.

That statement
says everything.

♪

We have a lot
of different issues, you know?

The fact that we have
religious differences

and the lack
of physical connection.

♪

It makes me feel really empty.

It really does
'cause it's, like,

I want to feel a certain--
and I also feel, like,

just sad
'cause there's the part of us

that really wants
to be together

and wants to make it work,

but then there's a part of us
that realizes

we're not on the same page,
you know?

It just makes me sad.

I just--I don't like feeling
like I can't meet him

where he's at, you know?

♪

- ♪ And I know I
crossed something ♪

♪ I can't leave from my life

- He is a great person,
and, like,

I wanna be able to, you know?

But I just...

it's just been
a lot mentally for me.

[sobbing]

- ♪ I'm too far gone now

Thank you. Yeah.

- ♪ I ain't thinking right

♪ Pull me under
so I don't miss the air ♪

♪

- ♪ If you open your eyes,
take a look inside ♪

♪

- Hello.
- Hi. How are you?

- I'm good. How are you doing?

- Good. How's married life?
- Yeah.

It's good. Yeah.

Sure you're kinda caught up

with what's happening
with Becca and I.

- Uh-huh.
- Yeah.

Like, religion has kind of
been, like, issue.

And in our marriage,

Becca and I do share
a lot of the same values

and, like, characteristics
that we, like,

want to, like,
live by, which is amazing,

which is why the experts said

they matched us together,
right?

And it wasn't until the idea
of, like, the afterlife,

and, like, heaven and hell
came into it

that, like,
it became more of an issue.

The way I was taught when
I was a kid was literally,

it's as simple as, like, if you
don't believe in Jesus and God,

like, you don't go to heaven,
and everyone else,

like, goes to hell, right?

You were raised Catholic.
- Mm-hmm.

- So, like, where do you stand
in the afterlife

and, like, what might happen,
and, like,

how does that work with Becca,

who's very against any, like,
type of, like, hell?

- I don't know
if I really believe in hell.

Like, your spirit
lives on and gets

reunited with God in heaven,

and I think if you
haven't been close to God

on your time on Earth,
and you--

you know, killed people and
were just a terrible person,

just putting,
like, just negativity

and hate out
into the world, I think

there's a true separation
from God in the afterlife.

- Okay.

- And I think that's
the interpretation

of hell, for me.

So someone--if I look
at someone like Becca,

who is pure light and love,

I would never think
she would be separated

from her creator
in the afterlife.

I mean, she's so--

she's such an advocate
for people.

She's so ethical.
- Yeah.

- She's so, like,
you know, challenges the--

the hate in the world, and,
like, the restricting beliefs.

Like, to me, that's exactly
what Jesus embodied.

Like, to just challenge
what is wrong in the world.

- I definitely feel like
I'm being exposed to new ideas.

I am open to changing.

I'm not, like, not holding on
to any, like, one concept.

I think it's a lot that
there is to think about

and to consider,
and I'm okay with that.

I'm okay with, like,
re-evaluating

and seeing where that takes me.

- I see and hear her wanting
to grow towards you in this.

- You do?
- And I think--yeah.

- That's, like--that's, like--

I feel like they hit a wall

when it came to, like,
the afterlife.

And that--it's not--
- It is a wall.

I mean, it's definitely
a test, but I think

it's going to
challenge you to--

to really, like,
sink into your soul.

Does that feel right to me
that someone like Becca

would be condemned to hell.

- I'm open to growing.

And, like, it's nice to hear
that you're saying

she is open to growing,
too, because I didn't

necessarily feel that way.

- If you guys both can,
you know,

grow towards each other
rather than away,

it's possible for you to grow
and evolve in these areas

just as much as it is for her.

You're doing the hard work to
get to the other side of it,

you know?
- Yeah. Yeah, totally.

No, and, like, that is what
I believe and hope for.

But it's not, like,
the sort of thing

that just, like,
flips in a day or night.

You know?
- Yeah. Yeah.

It's a journey.
- Yeah.

- For sure.

♪

- ♪ 'Cause it's you, girl,
oh, oh, oh ♪

- I mean,
I'm bracing to be cold,

so I gotta keep my stuff on.
- Yeah.

I'm just gonna get
hammered right away.

- Just immediately
start drinking?

- Yeah.

- So I mean,
I know I didn't go

into too much detail
with you guys,

but I did have an opportunity
to--to chat with the experts.

♪

I mean, not immediately after.

After some time,
when I had an opportunity

to decompress and everything.

And getting an opportunity
to speak with them,

I'll be honest, I didn't
really know what to expect.

But I felt like they took...

- Ownership?
- Accountability, I guess?

All in all, they were very--

I would say, like,
super empathetic.

- I'm Brett. I'll be helping
you guys out tonight.

- Thank you.
- Awesome.

- Need anything, let me know.
- All right.

- Okay.
- Cheers.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

- Well--well, with that said,

we did kind of broach the topic
of like,

well, what happens now, right?
- Yes.

- Like, will there be,
you know, an opportunity

for me to be re-matched?

Or is this just kind of it?

And they did talk about the
possibility of re-matching me.

And I was really curious
on, like,

what you guys thought
about the possibility

of going through this again.

- So the thing
that I am struggling with is,

you put your trust in these
people to find you someone.

- Mm-hmm.
- Like, that, to me--

yeah, it diminished a lot of
my trust within that process.

So I would wanna know--

like, you know, people make
mistakes, that happens,

and there's no guarantees,
but there needs

to be changes
in whatever process they did

that brought you to that altar.
- Sure.

- 'Cause that was--
that was not inspiring.

- That's a good point.

- So I think if you feel
you have heard the changes

that get you
to feel inspired again,

we will be here
to support you through that.

- Sure.

- Let me ask you this.

Are you excited about
the prospect of another match?

- I am.

I think when I think
through the possibility

of doing this again,
it's like having that--

that muscle memory.

- Yeah, you gotta
practice with it.

- Yeah.
[laughter]

- And if you suspect
it's gonna happen this time,

you back out.
Just--just run.

[laughter]

- So if you had to quantify,
let's use a 1 to 10 scale,

10 being the utmost comfort.
- Stoked.

- 1 being bed of nails
discomfort.

How comfortable would
you guys be with me

going through this again?

- Um, I'd be pretty worried--
pretty nervous about it.

Maybe, like, a four.

- Four, okay.
- Whoa.

- I think it's a seven
because it's you.

And so I have full faith
that you will go in for this.

- You're putting
a lot of faith in me.

- I do put a lot of faith into
you 'cause you've earned it.

- Aww.

- Um, a big factor is, you are
at least 50% of this equation.

So, like,
a four would just be--

- Hi.

- Can I join you?
- Hi.

- Of course.
- Good.

That's the right answer.

- Can I at least
give you a hug?

- Please do.

- It's nice seeing you again.
- It's great to see you again.

Oh, man.

- I hope you heard all
the craziness she was talking.

She has questions.
- Yeah.

- So I'm here to answer
some of your questions.

- Fair.

- But we were kinda talking
through the possibility

of me potentially getting
re-matched again.

And I think one of the points
Paige brought up

that I didn't really broach
with you guys was

her curiosity of how things
played out if that would

influence the methodology
that you would use

to potentially rematch me.

- The thing that really, really
struck me was when we were

debriefing the day afterward.

And Michael,
you said it was the biggest

failure of your personal life.

- You said that?
- I did say that, yeah.

- And that was something that,
like, really hit me

because I don't think
that was something

that you had any control over.

And that's where, like,
I don't know, I just--

I'd never want him
to feel that way again.

♪

- This is so without
precedent in the history

of a 17-season show.

But we admired and do admire
Michael so much,

in part 'cause
how he took this.

And so that said, we did do
a lot of due diligence.

And we were listening.

You said, "I want someone
really nice, sweet.

I want someone intelligent,
and I want someone playful."

I think you used
the word silly.

I'm translating it
a little bit.

So we went and thought
about that, like, okay,

if we try and marry him again,
we've gotta find that.

And I think we have.

♪

- Well, that's exciting.
- So--

- You found a person?

- Are you willing to get
married at first sight again?

- Um, I had kind of made peace
with the possibility

that that may not
be in my future...

♪

But...

I most definitely am, yes.

[laughter]

- Getting married.

- Not only are you getting
married at first sight,

you are getting
married at first sight

in less than two weeks.

- We get to run
this back again.

- Let's do it.

- Well, first and foremost,
I do appreciate

the opportunity of being
able to potentially

seize this again.

So thank you.

- Well, you're welcome,
but thank you

for just being so resilient,
good-natured,

uber civilized, and ready.

I mean, we can't create that.

Only you could create that.
- That's our boy.

- You're being far too humble.
- Marvelous Michael.

- There it is. Boom.
- Yay!

- I was excited
the first time around,

but being in this
unique position

of having a second go at it

and hearing kind of
Dr. Pepper's thoughts

behind it and her resolve,

like, only bolsters
that excitement.

- He's ready.
- To Michael.

- To Michael.
- Thank you all.

- For a wonderful wedding
and a long and happy marriage.

- Let's hope so.
That's what I'm aiming for.

- ♪ I can't wait
for tomorrow ♪

- ♪ There's nothing
better than us ♪

♪

♪ I know we can
make it this time ♪

- Are you excited for tonight?
- Yeah.

- Excited to see our people?

- I love our people.

- Cute.

He's cute.

I like this
with your eyes a lot.

- Oh. Green eyes, baby.

- Really brings them out.

How was your talk with Lindsay?

- It was good.
- Yeah?

- Yeah.

Yeah, no, it went really well.

Kind of talked about life
and love

and faith and religion

and things that
we have issues with.

- Do you feel like
it helped at all?

- Yeah, for sure.

- I'm glad you did that.
- Yeah.

- That makes me happy.

- Yeah, no problem.
- It means a lot.

♪

- I'm hungry.

- Hungry?
- I am.

- ♪ Oh, been fading out
and falling deeper ♪

♪ Oh, so close your eyes,
and I'll be there ♪

♪ Oh, I'm coming back to you

- It's hard to be going
into this group dinner,

this month anniversary dinner
knowing that Cameron and I

are not in this
celebratory phase.

And I'm sure the other couples
may be in that place

where they're happy
and they're joyful

and they're, you know,
really in a good, good place.

So it's difficult
because I don't want

to be in this position,
but it's just the reality

of what's going on right now.

Cameron and I haven't
really touched base.

So we are going from being
separated for a few days

straight into this dinner.

So I really don't know
how it's gonna go.

♪

- ♪ Twisting around,
yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ Wild, so give us room

♪ We the crew
in the back so loud ♪

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ Whoa, atmosphere in here
just crazy, crazy ♪

♪ Other fellas chilling
with the ladies, ladies ♪

♪ On the way, all I hit was
green lights, green lights ♪

♪ I think it's finna
be a good night ♪

♪ Hands up in the VIP 'cause
the mood right, look around ♪

- Your lipstick looks good.
- Thank you.

- It looks good.

- Hi.

How are you?
- Yeah, doing all right.

- Wonderful.

- Round of tequila shots?
- Yeah.

- Ooh. Okay.

- Thank you.

- Oh, there we go, baby girl.

- Very nice.

- Oh, what a way
to kick it off, guys.

- Cheers to a month.
- Cheers.

- To a long, eventful month.
- Love you, guys.

- Love you, guys.

- I'll just be honest,
I really don't know

where Clare is at
in terms of our marriage.

And so I'm--
I'm a little anxious.

And I--I hope that Clare and I
are on the same page,

but I don't know if we are.

- Where is the meat
on this charcuterie board?

- It's just a cheese board.

Charcuterie is
a separate thing.

- That's a very strong flavor.
- Got it.

- Okay, you guys,
I have a question.

I have a question
for all of us.

- Yeah?
- Yeah?

- If you could go back in time
and give yourself

any advice going into this,

what advice would you
give yourself?

- Wow.

♪

- Um, I'll start.

I would say--I, like,
always use the analogy,

like, ride the wave.

I feel like this has been
a ride the wave experience.

- Ride the wave.

- But I wish I was, like,
more prepared for, like,

more like, ripple effects,
you know?

- That's good advice
to yourself.

- Round in a circle.
I guess you're next.

♪

- Yeah, you can go, Cam.

♪

- I just feel a little bit
skeptical because clearly,

Brennan's having a harder time
understanding his feelings,

communicating them.

And so I'm trying
to stay patient,

but, like, my frustrations are,
I need him to be better.

Like, I deserve better.

And I need him
to realize that.

I need him to step
the [bleep] up.

Truly.

- My advice would be,
no matter how hard

you think it's gonna be,
it's gonna be harder.

[laughter]

- True facts.

There is no manual
for this kind of marriage.

You think that you know
how you're gonna feel,

but you have no idea
how you're gonna feel.

And you will be confused.

So just being, like,
you know, aware of that,

and moving through that

'cause that's all you can do,
you know?

- Yeah.

Maybe, you know, get in tune
with your emotional side

a little bit, not that I'm not.

I just, like, you know,
you're way more

well-versed in that sort
of thing.

- You're doing great.
- Eh.

[laughter]

- No, I think there's--

there's a lot of good things,
there's a lot of hard things,

but I think that's
any marriage.

I think there's a lot
to uncover and unearth.

But I thank him all the time

that I'm just really happy
and lucky that it was him.

And that it is him.

That's not to say that
we aren't also having issues,

like, deep issues, where I cry
in a closet sometimes.

- Cheers, man.

- There's been some stuff.
- Yeah.

- But you guys have been able
to work through them,

and it sounds like
you've come out on top.

- We're working through them.
- Yeah.

- Yeah, I mean,
we got some deep stuff

that we gotta,
like, figure out.

But, like, how much of that
can you really do in a month?

- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

- Not a lot.
- Mm-mm.

♪

- I mean, married a stranger,
you know?

[laughter]
- I did too.

- We do know. We do know.

- We all did.
- Yes, we do.

- It's been hard.

- Yeah.

- What is everyone,
like, most nervous about

for, like, the next month
of the post one month?

'Cause it's, like, great!
- Nervous or excited?

- We graduated first month.
- Graduated.

- Yeah, graduated.
[laughs]

- Now--
- That's one way to look at it.

- I call it, like, our 2.0.

So what do you guys
feel most nervous about

in this next month?

- I love that question.
I love these questions.

Guys, good questions
all around.

- Cameron, take it away.

- Um...

The thought that comes to mind

when I think about
the next month is fallout.

- That's dark.
- Yeah, that is.

- That's dark.

- I don't like that word,
but yeah, it is true.

- I feel like our marriage
is in a situation where

we have been
having misalignments

as to exactly what we want.

And I have essentially
been waiting,

for lack
of a better description,

until we are on the same page.

- Yeah.

- And I have a feeling soon,
we will be on the same page.

Or I hope we are,
but we actually haven't talked

in a couple days, so...

- Yeah.

I've been very confused,
like, about my own feelings.

And I--and I'm sorry
for my ups and downs

and my fluctuations
and my not being sure of,

like, where I'm at
'cause I haven't

done enough reflecting.

I know that's what
a marriage is about, right?

Like, you have to focus
on the we,

but at what point
do I have to realize

where's the me in this?

That's part of me navigating,
like, how do I feel?

But I think this past,
like, few days,

I have done
the most reflecting I have

through this whole marriage.

And I'm no longer confused
in where I'm at.

And...
- Can I ask?

Like, are you guys, like,
still together or...?

- I mean, at the moment, yeah.

That's the answer.

- Do you guys ever talk about,
like, exactly what you want?

- We try.

Like, we say it, and then
we miss each other

a lot of the times, right?
- Yeah.

- Like, maybe try,
like, a different approach,

like, what do we want?

What do we want?

- Okay.

So on the count of three...

- [laughs]
- Say what you want.

- It sounds like
a dangerous game.

- Say what you want.
- Okay, that's not exa--

- No, no, no, we're gonna--

- That is not definitely not
at all what I intended to be.

- We're gonna do this.
- Jesus.

- On the count of three,
say you want a divorce.

- Oh, no!
- Or--or you want--

- That is not absolutely
what I was trying to get to.

- Or you want to keep trying.

- Okay.
- Oh, my God.

This was not a game.

This was literally, like--
- I'm scared.

- One, two, three.

[tense music]

♪

- I want a divorce.
- Separated. Separation.

- Same thing. Same answer.
Yeah.

- But that's not at all--

- At least you guys
are on the same page now.

At least.
- We are on the same page.

And so when you say
we keep missing each other,

I don't think
that's always true.

I think we are on the same
page a lot of the time.

Where we are
in this relationship

is very much aligned, right?

- Now.
- Yeah.

- But it hasn't been
many times.

- I've been, and I will say,
and I'll admit this to you all,

I've been very confused.

And I know that
I've unfortunately

dragged Cameron along on that
process of, like, I don't know.

I'm confused, this and that.

And that's not fair,
and I realize that,

and I'm really sorry.

'Cause I realize that
I did hurt you in the process,

and I never--that was
never my intention.

And I do regret.

That's--that's the thing
I regret the most.

Marrying you,
I don't regret at all.

But the way I handled
my emotions in the beginning,

I do regret,
and I do apologize.

And so I'm sorry.

- Thank you.

Just forgive me
with what I'm about to say.

A few years ago, I had a choice
when I put my dog down,

whether I was gonna
put her down right away

or put her down
a few days later.

And I would never
take those days back,

and I would never take
these days back with you.

And thank you.

♪

- That's a good--good way
to look at things.

- Zero regrets.

- Me too.

- You have taught me
that a lot of things

about myself that I was not
even closely in tune with.

So I appreciate that.

And I'm grateful for that.

- I am a better man
because I met you.

Thank you.
- Mm-hmm.

Don't make me cry.
Don't do it.

[laughs]
Yeah, that's sweet.

- I don't wish I did
anything differently.

I don't regret anything.

The fact that tonight
we were able to acknowledge

that Clare and I have
already washed ashore.

This is the best chance for us

to not continue
to hurt each other.

I feel maybe we're finally
on the same page.

- That was a lot.
- Yup.

- Sorry, everyone.
- Don't be sorry.

I think you guys...
[clears throat]

Handled this and are handling
it, like, really maturely.

And the fact that
you guys can still

be so friendly with each other
and, like,

enjoy each other's company,
you know?

- Yeah. I know.
That is pretty amazing.

- I think that's amazing.

And yeah.

- Do you guys
have anything to say?

You guys look mind blown over
here in the corner over here.

- Just thinking.

[laughter]

- Take your time.
- Thanks.

- Yeah.

- I 100% recognize
this is hard for him,

but, like,
there is nothing coming out.

And that is frustrating.

It's, like,
just show me anything more.

Anything. Anything.

- I have a question.

Like, is there anything
you guys would have done

like, different to this point?
- Mm.

That's a good question.
- Looking back?

♪

- I think maybe
you need to answer this one.

- Yeah, I mean for me,
it's been definitely

a process to, like, open up.

And so I feel, like, you know,

opening up a little bit quicker
would have been better or not.

I don't know.

But it definitely has taken me
a while to warm up, so.

♪

- Ooh!
- Yes, girl. What is that?

- Pizza!

- Oh, thank you.
- Wow.

- Damn, girl.
- That is a lot of food.

- Did you get steak?
- Wow.

- Did you get steak?
- I've forgotten.

- Oh, yeah, Cam.
- That is a hunk of meat.

- Whoa.
Wait, why did I not get that?

- I better cut down
on the appetizers

to get through this thing.

- I'm jealous now.

[laughter]

- So I have a question.

Do you guys see yourself--

do you see a future?

♪

Is that a lot?

And if it is, please.
I'll--I'm just curious.

- Asking hard questions, Clare.
- Sorry, sorry.

You may not know.
- Ooh, jeez.

- Sorry.
You may not know right now.

But, like, I'm just curious.
Like--

- Clare, way to stir the pot.

- No, I'm not trying
to stir the pot.

I'm just curious.

- Yeah, I'll let you
answer that one first.

- Yeah, I think we're just
taking it day by day, honestly.

♪

Trying to make the previous day
better than the next.

- I don't wanna, like,
flip out on him at the table,

but, like, hearing, like,
the day-by-day thing

one more time
is going to make me snap.

- We're trying to, you know,
figure it out.

- Yeah.
- But it is really hard, so.

- It's just the same answers.
There's nothing more.

There's nothing--
there's like, no expressing

of like, the progress
we've made.

- Just being here
and being in this moment

and taking it
day by day is a lot.

♪

I just appreciate you
being resilient and with me

and just helping me
open up and say the things

I really wanna say.

- That's great.
He needs that.

He--
- You think?

[laughter]

Trying to stay patient,

but is this
gonna be me forever?

'Cause, like,
that is not how this goes.

I'm looking at these couples,
although they have, like,

their own differences,
and there's people opening up

that, like,
maybe don't usually.

Even Austin, no offense.

Austin doesn't have many words
to say a lot of the time.

Austin's communicating.

To what point does this
just look sad for me?

Like, it's sad.

And it's frustrating, and it's
just not what I deserve.

- I have to go
to the bathroom.

- Nope.
You don't have to do that.

[tense music]

- I'm gonna excuse myself.

- You need to go
to the bathroom?

- No. No, I don't.
- [laughs]

- All right.
- Okay.

See you when we see you.
- [laughs]

- I'm a little confused
about what's going on

because I feel like
there's so much more

underneath the surface
that I'm not hearing about.

But I know that Emily's sad.

And I'm sad for her
'cause I know

she's working really hard.

♪

- It's fine, I'm just, like,
having a moment.

- I don't know
the conversation.

I don't know the situation,
but I respect her a lot.

- Interesting.

- Just, I don't think
he really [bleep] understands.

Although you guys have issues,
you're talking.

- Yeah.
- And I'm like, oh, answer.

Answer.

It's just, like, it's so--

- And I'm sorry
that I asked you, like,

the future of a relationship.

I just--it's because
I feel like

he's not willing to answer
that question for you.

You're the only one
being honest.

He's giving you nothing.

- And I'm just--

- You don't deserve
this [bleep], girl.

- I'm getting just
very frustrated.

If I [bleep] hated him,
I'd be like, sure.

- Yeah.
- I'll walk away.

But I [bleep] care about him

in some stupid [bleep] way.

And it's so [bleep] annoying

'cause I just don't--
wish I didn't.

But here we are. Look at me.
- You care so much about him.

- I really do,
and I really wish I didn't.

And I really wish I didn't.

- I'm sorry.
- I know.

- If he's not sure of you,
you need to walk away

as in the way
that I wasn't sure.

And I needed to walk away.

- Like,
I'm not gonna walk away.

That's not--
- No. No.

- Oh, God.
- You know what I'm saying?

If he's not gonna
give you the respect,

it's, like, what do you do?

Just continue this thing?
- That's the thing.

It's like, what do I do?

♪

- She--she's very hurt.
- About what?

- 'Cause she, like,
really, like's you.

Do you know that?

We can talk about this later.
We don't have time.

- [exhales]
- Okay.

♪

- I can't tell if she
puts on this façade

that everything's
okay in front of me.

But I won't let her walk away
from me like that.

I just wanna ask
why you're upset.

- Why do you think I'm upset?
- Tell me.

But I care about her a lot,

so I'm trying my hardest
to not hurt her.

I have no idea
why you're upset.

Please tell me.

♪

- Apparently, you didn't
understand I was upset,

like, the whole time
during dinner?

- Did you see my--

so you wanted me to pull you
out of the dinner?

- Did you not, like, see me
upset visibly the whole dinner?

- You were making--

- That's the point.

- Okay. Sorry.

- Like, I'm not trying
to be dramatic,

and I feel like
I'm going insane.

- You're not, though.

- But it's, like,
this is frustrating for me,

especially in a group setting.

- I couldn't tell.

- Like, it makes it--
it honestly makes me

feel like, it's embarrassing.

Like, I told you last night,
like, it's, like, sad for me.

[sobbing]
Like, I don't deserve this.

- No, you don't.

- Nothing changed tonight.

Absolutely nothing changed.

We had a day yesterday, like,

we go through everything
last week.

And, like, everyone's
opening their hearts,

and then, like, he just
says the same [bleep].

Like, that's annoying.

♪

- ♪ And it's making me feel
like home again ♪

- [sighs]

♪ It feels like I'm home

♪

♪ This is holding us up

- It's literally
just frustrating.

♪

- I don't have
the answers, though, Emily.

I really don't.
- I don't need answers.

Just, like, anything just to,
like, be there for, like, me.

- Okay.

- But, like, tonight was, like,
really, like, bad.

It was bad.

- I'm sorry. I'm trying.

I know it's not good enough,
but at this point,

with how I'm feeling,
this is all I got.

And I recognize
how much you're giving,

and I know it's not
what you deserve

'cause you're giving
more than I am.

I'm sorry.

- [sobbing] I don't want you
to say sorry to say sorry.

Like--
- I mean it.

- I just want you to, like--
just, it's hard when

it's, like, all the time.

Like, I really meant
what I said tonight,

and, like, I don't
wanna resent you,

and that will happen
if you don't make changes.

- ♪ Always thought
that this would last ♪

♪ In my past, I always
thought you'd be there ♪

♪ How do we move on
from here ♪

- Yeah, I don't know
what's going down.

I hope they're doing okay.
- Yeah.

- I know emotions
were heightened and whatnot,

but it is weird
that they're not here.

And obviously,
we're not super thrilled

'cause this is not what
either of us wanted.

But we've--we've faced reality.

And that's all
we can do at this point.

'Cause I think moving forward,
I don't--

yeah, I don't know, Cameron.

I mean, I don't--
I'm just out of my--

my brain is fried.

- Yeah, I think so.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

- Clare and I
decided to separate.

I think me moving out
of the apartment makes sense.

- I am so tired.

- I did not want
my marriage to end this way,

and I'm going to
have to work that out.

That's not something that I
can just snap my fingers and--

and those feelings are gone.

♪

There's a present.
- Oh, no. What is this?

This is--oh, this is our vows.

- Another bottle of the
best champagne on Earth.

- That was good.
That was good.

- "Married at First Sight"
champagne.

- Oh, this is so--

[gasps] Cameron.

Oh, wow.

Do you wanna go sit over here?
- Yeah.

I think it's gonna be
very different

going back to an apartment
where I'm alone.

I don't have Clare to talk to.

- Aw.

- But this is
what is best for me

and what is best for us.

I forgot how good you looked
on our wedding day.

- Oh, that's nice.

- Very cute.
- Oh, this makes me really--

really kind of sad.

Huh.

- Looking at these photos
makes me really happy.

This was, like, one of the most
exciting things I've ever done.

- [laughs] Yeah.
- And that--

- I was terrified
in this moment for sure.

- That excitement...
- Mm-hmm.

- Is coming back to me,
you know,

looking at these photos.

- I just didn't expect to feel
the way that I feel right now.

Like, I wasn't prepared
for the emotions

that I was about to go through.

Like, in this moment, I'm very,
like, you know, happy.

I had no idea what was
about to come, you know?

I didn't realize
there would be tears.

There would be fears.

There would be ups and downs.

And, like, I guess
that is what marriage is,

but as someone who is single,

how was I to know
what those feelings

would actually look like?
And now I know.

Looking at the pictures
of that day

is really hard because I see
so much hope in myself.

It was a beautiful day,
a beautiful wedding.

It's just crazy that in the
one month from those pictures

to now, how much has changed.

We're looking at this
on the night

that we're saying
we're getting separated.

That's super hard
to come to terms with.

♪

It is a sad situation
that we're in.

Like, I can't leave and be--

like, this is not
a happy feeling, right?

I know that I have been back
and forth and back and forth.

But the underlying
feeling was, like,

this is not really working.
- Mm-hmm.

- And, like, we went with that,

and here we are now
in this position,

and it's sad, right?

Like, I mean, I don't know
if you're feeling sad

or what your feelings are.

'Cause I am. This is sad.

- The thing I can say is--is,
I got married at first sight

with a particular vision

of how this was all
gonna play out.

This is not
what I was expecting.

- I think I'm only sad
'cause it's like,

my expectations were so, like,

I was so ready for marriage.

I was so ready for it to be--

- Mm-hmm.
- To work out.

And I think we both deserve
to live happy lives.

And I am ready to move forward.

- Move on separately.

- I mean, I hope
this isn't the last

I see you or hear from you.

- Yeah, it won't be.

♪

So if you wanna walk me out,
then I'll--

I'll--
- It's so weird.

- I know. I know.

- Wow.
Wow, this feels bizarre.

- ♪ The face in your
fairy tale looked like me ♪

- This is not
something I wanted.

When you're with someone
all the time,

and then all of a sudden, they
just leave and they're gone,

that's a sad moment
'cause it's, like, wow,

that was my potential, like,
future--future.

And now it's just gone,
and it's walking

out the door
right in front of me,

and that's hard.

- ♪ The truth is scary
so here ♪

♪ I stand alone

♪ Alone

♪

- Next time on
"Married at First Sight"...

- I never imagined I would be
wedding dress shopping.

I just know
it's gonna speak to me.

- Yes.
- It's like, Chloe, I'm here.

- ♪ I gotta get
my heart's desire ♪

- She is really great
with children,

and seeing that
is very important to me.

- We've tried what we thought
was in our capabilities

and just reached a point where
it was, like, what do we do?

- Since I moved out, I've
developed a heart condition.

- Hi, Clare. It's Dr. Pia.
How are you?

- I don't know.
I just feel, like, guilty.

- Did the stress of my
separation from Clare

lead to this heart problem?

Maybe it accelerated it.

- What do you fought
the hardest for?

Tell me the story.

Honestly, probably for us,
in this marriage.

- Yeah, same.

- Hmm.

Okay.

♪