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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,109 Uh, steve... 2 00:00:09,510 --> 00:00:10,544 Steve? 3 00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:11,645 Huh? 4 00:00:11,712 --> 00:00:13,214 What is that? 5 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:14,815 Aha. 6 00:00:14,882 --> 00:00:16,450 Fresh squid. 7 00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:22,590 Eww-aah. 8 00:00:30,664 --> 00:00:32,800 Hey, where You going? 9 00:00:32,866 --> 00:00:34,968 I think I'm gonna Skip lunch 10 00:00:35,035 --> 00:00:36,337 For a week. 11 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,107 Hmm. 12 00:00:43,877 --> 00:00:45,746 * dum dum dee dum * 13 00:00:45,813 --> 00:00:47,348 * dum dum dee dum * 14 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,982 * dum dum dee dum * 15 00:00:49,049 --> 00:00:52,052 * dum dee dum Dum dee dum ** 16 00:00:52,120 --> 00:00:55,189 Myra, holy cow! 17 00:00:55,256 --> 00:00:56,624 Do you like my dress? 18 00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:58,326 I can still wear white, 19 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:00,294 Darn it. 20 00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,530 Um, but--but why Would you buy A wedding dress? 21 00:01:02,596 --> 00:01:05,032 Because we're Getting married 22 00:01:05,099 --> 00:01:06,534 Right after college, 23 00:01:06,600 --> 00:01:10,471 And that's only 1,950 days away. 24 00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:11,539 Uh, myra, 25 00:01:11,605 --> 00:01:13,707 Don't you think You're rushing things 26 00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,343 Just a smidge? 27 00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:17,911 Rushing? In what way? 28 00:01:17,978 --> 00:01:21,014 Well, you're taking Too much control, 29 00:01:21,081 --> 00:01:22,916 Making a lot of Assumptions, 30 00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:25,519 And quite frankly, I feel a little... 31 00:01:25,586 --> 00:01:27,155 Useless. 32 00:01:27,221 --> 00:01:28,856 Don't you worry. 33 00:01:28,922 --> 00:01:30,691 They'll be plenty For you to do 34 00:01:30,758 --> 00:01:32,460 On our wedding night. 35 00:01:32,526 --> 00:01:34,061 Wh--wh--for Goodness sakes, 36 00:01:34,128 --> 00:01:35,763 Slow down! 37 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,965 I need some Breathing room. 38 00:01:38,031 --> 00:01:39,600 Are you trying To tell me 39 00:01:39,667 --> 00:01:40,768 You need more space? 40 00:01:40,834 --> 00:01:42,903 Yes, space. 41 00:01:42,970 --> 00:01:45,206 I need more space. 42 00:01:46,374 --> 00:01:49,610 Well, take all the space You need, bucko. 43 00:01:51,545 --> 00:01:53,147 We're through. 44 00:01:55,349 --> 00:01:57,418 This is when you're Supposed to stop me, 45 00:01:57,485 --> 00:02:00,221 Apologize, and beg me To marry you. 46 00:02:02,356 --> 00:02:03,757 Well, I'm sorry, myra, 47 00:02:03,824 --> 00:02:06,594 But I can't do that. 48 00:02:06,660 --> 00:02:08,028 I see. 49 00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:10,298 I will not give you The satisfaction 50 00:02:10,364 --> 00:02:12,566 Of seeing me lose My temper. 51 00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:42,196 Listen, looky here-- 52 00:02:42,263 --> 00:02:44,198 Looky here. 53 00:02:45,199 --> 00:02:46,166 Huh, huh? 54 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,568 Harriette: Hi, honey. 55 00:02:48,836 --> 00:02:50,170 What's wrong? 56 00:02:50,238 --> 00:02:52,306 Our neighbor, Neidermeyer. 57 00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:54,942 Neidermeyer: Yeah, hello. 58 00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:55,976 Neidermeyer. 59 00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:57,044 Yeah, yeah. Who's this? 60 00:02:57,110 --> 00:02:58,178 Winslow. 61 00:02:58,246 --> 00:02:59,680 What do you want? 62 00:02:59,747 --> 00:03:03,651 Your dog ate My newspaper again. 63 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,353 [laughs] 64 00:03:08,522 --> 00:03:10,224 That dog belongs On a leash. 65 00:03:10,291 --> 00:03:11,292 [laughs] 66 00:03:11,359 --> 00:03:13,227 You belong On a leash! 67 00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:15,763 [click] 68 00:03:15,829 --> 00:03:18,332 He hung up on me! 69 00:03:18,399 --> 00:03:19,933 I'll show That blowhard. 70 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,602 Ca-ca-carl, Carl, wait. 71 00:03:21,669 --> 00:03:23,637 What, you wanna Piece of him, too? 72 00:03:23,704 --> 00:03:24,972 No. 73 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:26,006 Carl, please, 74 00:03:26,073 --> 00:03:27,040 Come on, honey. 75 00:03:27,107 --> 00:03:29,443 Sit down and cool off. 76 00:03:30,778 --> 00:03:33,514 Carl, you know This feud between You and nick, 77 00:03:33,581 --> 00:03:34,748 Is getting out of hand. 78 00:03:34,815 --> 00:03:36,550 Well, harriette, It's not my fault. 79 00:03:36,617 --> 00:03:38,185 Now you see, That's the attitude 80 00:03:38,252 --> 00:03:39,953 That keeps The battle going. 81 00:03:40,020 --> 00:03:41,088 When's it gonna stop? 82 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,190 When I bulldoze His house. 83 00:03:43,257 --> 00:03:44,358 Uh, ca-ca-carl, 84 00:03:44,425 --> 00:03:45,926 Don't even joke Like that. 85 00:03:45,993 --> 00:03:48,228 You know, You're setting A terrible example. 86 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:50,063 Yesterday I saw Richie and 3j 87 00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,665 Playing nick And carl. 88 00:03:53,834 --> 00:03:54,935 Nick and carl? 89 00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:56,003 Yes. 90 00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:57,438 They were yelling At each other 91 00:03:57,505 --> 00:03:59,340 And bumping bellies. 92 00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:01,008 You're kidding. 93 00:04:01,074 --> 00:04:03,110 I think not. 94 00:04:03,176 --> 00:04:04,712 Well, gee, I-- 95 00:04:04,778 --> 00:04:07,748 I never meant to set A bad example For the kids. 96 00:04:09,082 --> 00:04:10,384 Gee... 97 00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:13,621 Harriette, it's just That he makes me So angry. 98 00:04:13,687 --> 00:04:16,424 I'm not gonna let him Get the best of me. 99 00:04:16,490 --> 00:04:18,659 Carl, he hasn't Been getting 100 00:04:18,726 --> 00:04:19,727 The best of you. 101 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,762 He's been getting The worst of you. 102 00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:42,450 I cannot believe That sigma theta 103 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:44,217 Has its own Beauty parlor. 104 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,753 Well, it cost A pretty penny, 105 00:04:45,819 --> 00:04:49,222 But on the plus side, It keeps the penny pretty. 106 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,591 That's why allison's President. 107 00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:52,259 She's a real wordsmith. 108 00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,927 Thank you, monica. 109 00:04:53,994 --> 00:04:55,663 You're welcome, allison. 110 00:04:57,331 --> 00:04:59,299 Why don't you show laura Our computer room? 111 00:04:59,367 --> 00:05:00,368 Computer room? 112 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:02,002 It overlooks the pool. 113 00:05:03,371 --> 00:05:05,773 So laura, why do you want To join sigma theta? 114 00:05:05,839 --> 00:05:08,308 Well, everybody says It's the coolest Sorority on campus. 115 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:09,977 Good answer. 116 00:05:10,043 --> 00:05:11,379 [doorbell rings] 117 00:05:13,881 --> 00:05:15,349 Howdy there. 118 00:05:15,416 --> 00:05:16,750 Steve urkel. 119 00:05:16,817 --> 00:05:17,951 I'm allison. 120 00:05:18,018 --> 00:05:19,353 And you're Here because? 121 00:05:19,420 --> 00:05:21,321 To pick up Laura winslow. 122 00:05:21,389 --> 00:05:23,256 Oh. Well, hang up Your coat. 123 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:24,992 She'll be back In a minute. 124 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,059 Oh, thankee. 125 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:28,896 [hums] 126 00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:37,004 While we're waiting For laura, 127 00:05:37,070 --> 00:05:39,773 Why don't you And I...Chat. 128 00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,141 Hmm, chat? 129 00:05:41,208 --> 00:05:42,376 About what? 130 00:05:42,443 --> 00:05:43,977 About you. 131 00:05:44,044 --> 00:05:45,345 What's your major? 132 00:05:45,413 --> 00:05:46,880 Biological engineering. 133 00:05:46,947 --> 00:05:48,916 Right now I'm breeding A grub worm 134 00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,118 With opposable thumbs. 135 00:05:51,184 --> 00:05:52,252 Why? 136 00:05:52,319 --> 00:05:54,422 So it can hitchhike. 137 00:05:54,488 --> 00:05:57,057 That's very funny. 138 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:58,258 [snorts] 139 00:05:58,325 --> 00:05:59,827 Why don't We sit down? 140 00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:00,928 Yeah, okay. 141 00:06:00,994 --> 00:06:02,229 Wha-whoa! 142 00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:03,664 Whoa! 143 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,536 Sorry about that. 144 00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:10,871 Occasionally I trip over... 145 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:13,173 Everything. 146 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,275 You're a very Unusual guy. 147 00:06:15,342 --> 00:06:16,710 I am? 148 00:06:16,777 --> 00:06:17,878 Mm-hmm. 149 00:06:17,945 --> 00:06:19,112 I know we just met, 150 00:06:19,179 --> 00:06:20,347 But there's Something about you 151 00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:22,483 That makes me... Tingle. 152 00:06:24,785 --> 00:06:26,987 Well, maybe your Butt's asleep. 153 00:06:29,423 --> 00:06:31,291 I don't think That's it. 154 00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:33,226 You've got charisma, 155 00:06:33,293 --> 00:06:35,162 Style, 156 00:06:35,228 --> 00:06:37,097 Sex appeal. 157 00:06:41,602 --> 00:06:42,803 Something wrong? 158 00:06:42,870 --> 00:06:43,937 Yeah. 159 00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:46,740 Now my butt's asleep. 160 00:06:46,807 --> 00:06:49,677 You know, Our sorority's Having a party... 161 00:06:52,112 --> 00:06:53,814 Saturday night. 162 00:06:57,150 --> 00:06:59,052 Would you like To be my date? 163 00:06:59,119 --> 00:07:00,788 Jeepers! 164 00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,691 Well, it sure is swell Of you to ask me, 165 00:07:03,757 --> 00:07:07,728 But I'm not sure if I'm ready to date again. 166 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:24,712 I'll be here at 8:00. 167 00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,213 Great. 168 00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:27,314 Uh, allison? 169 00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,149 Can I see you For a sec? 170 00:07:29,216 --> 00:07:31,318 Oh, boy. 171 00:07:31,384 --> 00:07:33,754 Don't go away. 172 00:07:33,821 --> 00:07:35,222 I won't. 173 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,394 I see you found Your date 174 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:42,830 For our Geek party. 175 00:07:42,896 --> 00:07:44,998 I didn't just find Any old geek, 176 00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,000 I found the king geek. 177 00:07:56,143 --> 00:07:58,445 Ahh. 178 00:07:58,512 --> 00:08:00,648 You wanted To see me, Winslow? 179 00:08:00,714 --> 00:08:02,049 Uh, yeah, nick. 180 00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,784 I, uh... 181 00:08:03,851 --> 00:08:05,418 I... 182 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,687 Didn't I throw That sweatshirt 183 00:08:06,754 --> 00:08:08,421 In the trash Last week? 184 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,390 Yeah. 185 00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:11,792 Thanks. 186 00:08:12,793 --> 00:08:14,494 You're going Through my trash? 187 00:08:14,562 --> 00:08:16,396 Hey, in here it's yours. 188 00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:18,431 When it's in a can On the curb, 189 00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,668 It's first come First served. 190 00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,803 Now, what's up? 191 00:08:23,804 --> 00:08:25,906 Uh, look, nick, um, 192 00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:28,308 You know, ever since You moved in next door, 193 00:08:28,375 --> 00:08:31,712 You and I have had A little trouble Getting along. 194 00:08:31,779 --> 00:08:33,246 Well, you're a jerk. 195 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,920 You know, ordinarily A remark like that Would cause me 196 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:43,423 To reach down your Throat and pull Out your spleen. 197 00:08:43,490 --> 00:08:44,558 Yeah. 198 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:46,459 Yep, but not today. 199 00:08:46,526 --> 00:08:47,961 And you know why? 200 00:08:48,028 --> 00:08:50,030 You doubled up On your wuss pills? 201 00:08:55,936 --> 00:08:57,470 Okay. 202 00:08:57,537 --> 00:08:58,538 No, no, no. 203 00:08:58,606 --> 00:09:00,608 You see, um, Tomorrow night 204 00:09:00,674 --> 00:09:02,910 Is the big fight On pay-per-view. 205 00:09:02,976 --> 00:09:04,845 It's for The heavyweight title. 206 00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:07,648 So I-I'd like you To watch it with me. 207 00:09:07,715 --> 00:09:10,317 Do I have To pay half? 208 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,351 No, nick. 209 00:09:11,418 --> 00:09:13,120 It's my treat. 210 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:14,622 What's the catch? 211 00:09:14,688 --> 00:09:16,123 There's no catch. 212 00:09:16,189 --> 00:09:17,658 Just 2 guys hanging out, 213 00:09:17,725 --> 00:09:21,161 Trying to get To know each other. 214 00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:22,796 Wait a minute. 215 00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:28,135 You really wanna Spend time with me? 216 00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:29,436 Sure. 217 00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,471 I wanna find out If there's any chance 218 00:09:31,538 --> 00:09:33,306 That you and I Can be friends. 219 00:09:34,775 --> 00:09:36,343 You paying for The grub, too? 220 00:09:38,245 --> 00:09:39,913 Yep. 221 00:09:39,980 --> 00:09:41,014 Whoa. 222 00:09:42,115 --> 00:09:43,550 Okay. 223 00:09:43,617 --> 00:09:45,218 I'll be here. 224 00:09:51,058 --> 00:09:53,661 You have A brain tumor Or something? 225 00:09:55,295 --> 00:09:56,329 No, nick. 226 00:09:56,396 --> 00:09:57,931 I'm just being neighborly. 227 00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,004 Thanks, neighbor. 228 00:10:12,780 --> 00:10:13,814 * is l.A. With it? * 229 00:10:13,881 --> 00:10:14,948 * come and get it * 230 00:10:15,015 --> 00:10:16,183 * new york, Are you with it? * 231 00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:17,117 * come and get it * 232 00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:18,351 * philadelphia, You with it? * 233 00:10:18,418 --> 00:10:19,619 * come and get it * 234 00:10:19,687 --> 00:10:21,154 * come on, what You gonna do? * 235 00:10:21,221 --> 00:10:22,990 * my friends all Love to party * 236 00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:24,892 * my friends all Love to party * 237 00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:26,894 * my friends all Love to party * 238 00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,162 * my friends all Love to party ** 239 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,636 Boys, would you get us Some punch? 240 00:10:36,704 --> 00:10:37,905 Uh, punch, Would that be 241 00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,973 The 18th century British humor magazine, 242 00:10:40,040 --> 00:10:42,676 Or the popular sugar based Party beverage? 243 00:10:42,743 --> 00:10:44,144 The latter. 244 00:10:44,211 --> 00:10:45,078 Make up your mind. 245 00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:47,647 Do you want punch Or a ladder? 246 00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,452 Whoo! 247 00:10:52,519 --> 00:10:55,488 My god, your date Is a total cretin. 248 00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:57,090 Oh, you're just Saying that 249 00:10:57,157 --> 00:10:59,259 To be nice. 250 00:10:59,326 --> 00:11:00,694 Aah, urkel in the house, 251 00:11:00,761 --> 00:11:02,696 Shakin' his groove thing! 252 00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,342 Geek: whoo! 253 00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,745 Geek #2: Yeah! Whoo! 254 00:11:22,615 --> 00:11:24,384 Ah, thank you, Thank you, thank you. 255 00:11:26,286 --> 00:11:29,689 You know, you couldn't Have picked a better Suit for this party. 256 00:11:29,757 --> 00:11:31,324 Well, thank you, Thank you, thank you. 257 00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:33,761 You know, I was gonna wear My mohair pants, 258 00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,595 But I got attacked By a dog, 259 00:11:35,662 --> 00:11:38,131 And now they're No hair pants. 260 00:11:38,198 --> 00:11:41,468 Ooh, I hate when That happens. 261 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:43,503 Glory! 262 00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,339 Look at that dress! 263 00:11:46,406 --> 00:11:49,242 Why it's so, so... 264 00:11:49,309 --> 00:11:51,244 Tight! 265 00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:54,614 I can almost see What you had For lunch. 266 00:11:54,681 --> 00:11:55,783 Excuse me, steve, 267 00:11:55,849 --> 00:11:57,885 I wanna talk to kimberly For a second. 268 00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,386 Hurry back, My princess. 269 00:11:59,452 --> 00:12:01,321 Your prince In plaid awaits. 270 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:05,692 Oh, man. 271 00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:06,894 What? 272 00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:09,062 I almost wore that Same suit tonight. 273 00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,563 Really? 274 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:12,399 What were you doing In my closet? 275 00:12:16,036 --> 00:12:18,638 Steven q. Urkel At your service. 276 00:12:18,705 --> 00:12:21,308 Hey, we saw Your date. 277 00:12:21,374 --> 00:12:22,709 Oh, yeah. 278 00:12:22,776 --> 00:12:24,277 Allison's a looker. 279 00:12:24,344 --> 00:12:25,712 And get a load of this, 280 00:12:25,779 --> 00:12:28,281 She asked me out. 281 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:29,516 Hey, so did my date. 282 00:12:29,582 --> 00:12:30,818 Mine, too. 283 00:12:30,884 --> 00:12:32,252 We're dudes. We're dudes. We're dudes. 284 00:12:32,319 --> 00:12:33,887 We're dudes. We're dudes. We're dudes. 285 00:12:33,954 --> 00:12:35,522 We're dudes. We're dudes. We're dudes. 286 00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,724 [fight bell rings] Alright, Here we go! 287 00:12:37,791 --> 00:12:39,692 Alright, stay Away from him! Stay away-- 288 00:12:39,759 --> 00:12:41,494 Hit 'em! Hit-- 289 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:42,529 Referee: One... 290 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:43,897 2... What do you mean? 291 00:12:43,964 --> 00:12:45,498 Get up you bum! 292 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,900 You're a bum! Get up! 293 00:12:46,967 --> 00:12:47,935 Get up! You wuss! 294 00:12:48,001 --> 00:12:49,736 Get up! Come on! 295 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,604 Referee: 8, 9, 10! Oh, please. 296 00:12:51,671 --> 00:12:53,841 Oh, man! You believe that?! 297 00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,276 I just paid 50 bucks for a 10-second fight. 298 00:12:56,343 --> 00:12:57,410 Yeah. 299 00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,012 Better you than me. 300 00:13:03,350 --> 00:13:06,053 Ha ha ha, yeah. 301 00:13:07,287 --> 00:13:09,222 Well, want some Popcorn, nick? 302 00:13:09,289 --> 00:13:10,257 Oh. 303 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,558 Cost you 40 bucks. 304 00:13:13,493 --> 00:13:14,761 Thanks, carl. 305 00:13:14,828 --> 00:13:16,629 Oh, what are You gonna do, right? 306 00:13:16,696 --> 00:13:18,798 Mmm, I like this Cheese flavor. 307 00:13:18,866 --> 00:13:20,367 Yeah, me, too. 308 00:13:20,433 --> 00:13:22,702 But, uh, you know what? 309 00:13:22,769 --> 00:13:24,604 I don't wanna eat too much. 310 00:13:24,671 --> 00:13:27,374 Got a lady friend Dropping by later. 311 00:13:29,242 --> 00:13:31,311 Ohh. 312 00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:32,913 What's her name? 313 00:13:34,781 --> 00:13:36,116 Cindy. 314 00:13:38,218 --> 00:13:39,853 Cin-dy? 315 00:13:40,854 --> 00:13:42,722 Mmm, she pretty? 316 00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:44,925 Is she pretty? 317 00:13:44,992 --> 00:13:46,894 Picture a combination 318 00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,396 Of michelle pfeiffer 319 00:13:49,462 --> 00:13:51,431 And heather locklear. 320 00:13:51,498 --> 00:13:52,765 Whoa. 321 00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,334 Now... 322 00:13:54,401 --> 00:13:55,602 Squint. 323 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:03,710 That's cindy. 324 00:14:03,776 --> 00:14:05,078 Nice. 325 00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:08,415 Of course, 326 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:09,849 Cindy's not as pretty 327 00:14:09,917 --> 00:14:12,252 As my ex-wife, 328 00:14:12,319 --> 00:14:13,286 Helen. 329 00:14:13,353 --> 00:14:15,522 Carl: oh. 330 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,024 You know, it's weird. 331 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:20,360 It's been 5 years Since the divorce. 332 00:14:20,427 --> 00:14:22,395 I still miss her. 333 00:14:22,462 --> 00:14:23,730 That's too bad, nick. 334 00:14:23,796 --> 00:14:26,299 Ah, what are You gonna do? 335 00:14:26,366 --> 00:14:28,335 It just didn't work out, That's all. 336 00:14:31,004 --> 00:14:32,605 Money problems. 337 00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,775 Didn't make enough, huh? 338 00:14:35,842 --> 00:14:37,310 No, she didn't. 339 00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:46,253 See, I wanted us to be A 2-income family. 340 00:14:46,319 --> 00:14:49,489 Helen wanted to stay home And have kids. 341 00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,258 So we split up. 342 00:14:51,324 --> 00:14:52,725 Oh, gee, 343 00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:53,927 That's rough, nick. 344 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:55,862 But--but now, When I see you 345 00:14:55,929 --> 00:14:59,599 And your Beautiful family... 346 00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:03,503 I realize I made a mistake. 347 00:15:06,539 --> 00:15:08,008 A terrible mistake. 348 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:10,743 That's too bad, nick. 349 00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,879 Wanna watch a movie? 350 00:15:12,946 --> 00:15:16,083 You know, I begged her Not to leave me. 351 00:15:16,149 --> 00:15:18,751 I fell to my knees In the snow. 352 00:15:18,818 --> 00:15:19,987 She was holding 2 suitcases, 353 00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,522 A taxi was waiting. 354 00:15:22,589 --> 00:15:24,291 It was christmas eve. 355 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:26,659 Aw, nick. 356 00:15:26,726 --> 00:15:28,728 I pleaded with her, "Helen, no!" 357 00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:29,862 Nick. 358 00:15:29,929 --> 00:15:32,832 "For god's sake, Don't leave me!" 359 00:15:32,899 --> 00:15:34,067 Nick, nick, look, It's columbo. 360 00:15:34,134 --> 00:15:35,935 Wanna watch columbo? 361 00:15:38,805 --> 00:15:41,941 [hip hop music plays] 362 00:15:55,655 --> 00:15:58,125 Girls: whoo! 363 00:16:00,060 --> 00:16:02,062 Everyone: whoo! 364 00:16:27,087 --> 00:16:29,256 I'm sorry, I didn't know There was a party. 365 00:16:29,322 --> 00:16:30,990 I left my book Bag here. 366 00:16:31,058 --> 00:16:32,625 Laura, you came at The perfect time. 367 00:16:32,692 --> 00:16:35,995 We're just About to announce The winner. 368 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,964 Winner? What winner? 369 00:16:38,031 --> 00:16:41,101 We're having our Annual geek party. 370 00:16:41,168 --> 00:16:42,635 Geek party? 371 00:16:42,702 --> 00:16:45,072 We each bring The nerdiest guy We can find. 372 00:16:45,138 --> 00:16:48,441 And the worst one Gets crowned king geek. 373 00:16:50,110 --> 00:16:51,144 Don't these guys mind 374 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:52,979 The way you're Making fun of them? 375 00:16:53,046 --> 00:16:54,047 That's the best part. 376 00:16:54,114 --> 00:16:55,348 They have no idea. 377 00:16:55,415 --> 00:16:58,818 They actually think We like them. 378 00:16:58,885 --> 00:17:00,053 That is The cruelest thing 379 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,289 I've ever heard In my entire life. 380 00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:04,557 Yeah. Cool, Isn't it? 381 00:17:06,226 --> 00:17:07,594 No, it's not cool. 382 00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:09,929 These guys are people, And they have feelings. 383 00:17:09,996 --> 00:17:11,098 Oh, please. 384 00:17:11,164 --> 00:17:12,165 Look at them. 385 00:17:12,232 --> 00:17:13,766 They're geeks. 386 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:15,602 [girls laugh] 387 00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,039 Yeah? 388 00:17:20,107 --> 00:17:21,274 Well, one of Those geeks 389 00:17:21,341 --> 00:17:23,110 Happens to be A friend of mine. 390 00:17:23,176 --> 00:17:25,345 In that case, You better find Some new friends. 391 00:17:25,412 --> 00:17:28,781 Or maybe you need To find another Sorority. 392 00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:31,251 Oh, you're not A sorority. 393 00:17:31,318 --> 00:17:32,485 You're a pack of vicious, 394 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:34,554 Self-centered, Stuck-up barracudas 395 00:17:34,621 --> 00:17:36,523 With teased hair And push-up bras. 396 00:17:41,228 --> 00:17:42,762 Hi, laura lee. 397 00:17:42,829 --> 00:17:44,197 Steve, I think We should go. 398 00:17:44,264 --> 00:17:45,265 Are you kidding? 399 00:17:45,332 --> 00:17:47,300 Why, this party Is popping. 400 00:17:47,367 --> 00:17:48,901 And look at my date. 401 00:17:48,968 --> 00:17:50,370 Fox-o-rama! 402 00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:53,039 And I think She's wearing A push-up bra. 403 00:17:53,106 --> 00:17:54,774 Come on, steve, Let's go. 404 00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:56,576 No, sir, ma'am. 405 00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,611 I'm not leaving The party of The year 406 00:17:58,678 --> 00:18:00,847 Until you tell me What in sam hill 407 00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:01,881 Is going on here. 408 00:18:01,948 --> 00:18:02,982 Alright, Steve, fine. 409 00:18:03,049 --> 00:18:05,452 This is a geek party. 410 00:18:05,518 --> 00:18:09,422 Well, of course It's a greek party. 411 00:18:09,489 --> 00:18:12,292 It's a sorority, For crying out loud. 412 00:18:12,359 --> 00:18:14,060 It's got, look, Sigma theta, 413 00:18:14,127 --> 00:18:15,728 Based on the ancient Greek alphabet-- 414 00:18:15,795 --> 00:18:17,897 No, no, no, no. 415 00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:19,632 Not greek, geek. 416 00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,900 Geeks: huh? 417 00:18:20,967 --> 00:18:22,202 As in nerd, 418 00:18:22,269 --> 00:18:23,770 Dufus, dweeb. 419 00:18:23,836 --> 00:18:25,405 Geeks: ohh. 420 00:18:36,249 --> 00:18:37,684 Allison, is-- 421 00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:41,588 Is this true? 422 00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:43,190 Um... 423 00:18:43,256 --> 00:18:45,658 Well, yeah. 424 00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:47,760 That's-- 425 00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,396 That's really mean. 426 00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:52,299 Oh, come on, it's Just harmless fun. 427 00:18:52,365 --> 00:18:54,967 Hey, when you're Hurting other people, 428 00:18:55,034 --> 00:18:56,769 That ain't harmless, Sister. 429 00:18:58,571 --> 00:18:59,806 Steve: look, 430 00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:03,343 I might not be The trendiest Guy on campus, 431 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:06,413 And I might not even Be the best looking, 432 00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,848 And I'm certainly not The most coordinated. 433 00:19:10,950 --> 00:19:12,919 But you know what? 434 00:19:12,985 --> 00:19:15,855 I like myself... 435 00:19:15,922 --> 00:19:17,690 And that makes me cool. 436 00:19:17,757 --> 00:19:19,326 Geeks: yeah! 437 00:19:24,531 --> 00:19:27,834 Hey, I'm sorry, Okay? 438 00:19:27,900 --> 00:19:29,869 Oh, you bet you're sorry. 439 00:19:31,404 --> 00:19:32,939 And the reason You're sorry 440 00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:34,707 Is because you're Gonna miss out 441 00:19:34,774 --> 00:19:38,245 On 153 pounds 442 00:19:38,311 --> 00:19:41,080 Of raging testosterone. 443 00:19:41,147 --> 00:19:43,583 Geeks: yeah! 444 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,953 Hoo, hoo, hoo, Hoo, hoo, hoo, 445 00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,222 Hoo, hoo, Hoo, hoo, 446 00:19:49,289 --> 00:19:51,324 Hoo, hoo, Hoo, hoo, Hoo, hoo, 447 00:19:51,391 --> 00:19:53,393 Hoo, hoo, Hoo, hoo, Hoo, hoo. 448 00:19:54,927 --> 00:19:57,797 Say, "Goodbye" To that, baby. 449 00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,499 Geeks: yeah! 450 00:20:01,167 --> 00:20:02,969 Whoo! 451 00:20:10,577 --> 00:20:11,444 Hey, eddo. 452 00:20:11,511 --> 00:20:12,712 Want some breakfast? 453 00:20:14,180 --> 00:20:15,715 What are you having? 454 00:20:15,782 --> 00:20:17,216 Corn flakes, milk, 455 00:20:17,284 --> 00:20:18,918 Sliced bananas. 456 00:20:18,985 --> 00:20:20,820 Okay, that sounds safe. 457 00:20:20,887 --> 00:20:22,322 I can deal With that. 458 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,423 Heh heh heh. 459 00:20:23,490 --> 00:20:25,825 Good ol' Corn flakes. 460 00:20:25,892 --> 00:20:28,528 Mmm. 461 00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:35,268 Say, man. 462 00:20:38,671 --> 00:20:40,640 Something moved In that bowl. 463 00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:43,343 Sure. 464 00:20:43,410 --> 00:20:44,977 That's the live eel, 465 00:20:45,044 --> 00:20:46,479 Packed with protein. 466 00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:49,316 Eww. 467 00:20:49,382 --> 00:20:50,883 Steve, ugh! 468 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,454 You so nasty! 469 00:20:56,188 --> 00:20:57,590 Eel! 470 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,629 Hello, steven. 471 00:21:02,695 --> 00:21:04,196 My mother, Frau monkhouse, 472 00:21:04,263 --> 00:21:06,065 Told me you called. 473 00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:07,534 Yes, I-- 474 00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,936 I wanted to talk to you. 475 00:21:10,002 --> 00:21:11,604 Quel subject? 476 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:14,707 Well... 477 00:21:14,774 --> 00:21:17,344 If you would agree to be A little less pushy 478 00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:19,546 About this Marriage subject, 479 00:21:19,612 --> 00:21:23,583 Well, m-m-maybe we could Get back together. 480 00:21:25,051 --> 00:21:26,619 Wait one minute. 481 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,390 You think you could Just toss me aside 482 00:21:30,457 --> 00:21:31,691 Like an old gym sock, 483 00:21:31,758 --> 00:21:34,327 And then expect me to Jump back into your arms 484 00:21:34,394 --> 00:21:37,730 The second you snap Your fickle fingers? 485 00:21:37,797 --> 00:21:38,865 Well... 486 00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,032 Okay! 487 00:21:40,099 --> 00:21:42,335 Mmm, mmm, mmm, Mmm, mmm, 488 00:21:42,402 --> 00:21:44,036 Mmm, mmm, mmm, Mmm, mmm. 30378

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