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1
00:00:03,737 --> 00:00:06,674
Honey--honey,
I can't take little billy
2
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,042
To the movies tonight.
3
00:00:08,109 --> 00:00:09,477
I'll be home late.
4
00:00:09,543 --> 00:00:11,545
I got an emergency call
From a woman
5
00:00:11,612 --> 00:00:15,316
Who said her family is
In emotional distress.
6
00:00:15,383 --> 00:00:17,151
Doctor,
Your 5:00 is here.
7
00:00:17,218 --> 00:00:18,186
Send them right in.
8
00:00:18,252 --> 00:00:19,420
They're here.
9
00:00:19,487 --> 00:00:20,621
Don't worry.
10
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:25,226
Billy's threatened
To run away a dozen times.
11
00:00:26,794 --> 00:00:28,796
Oh. Hi.
I'm dr. Miller.
12
00:00:28,862 --> 00:00:30,431
Hi. I'm
Harriette winslow.
13
00:00:30,498 --> 00:00:31,665
This is my daughter laura,
14
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:35,603
My son eddie,
And my husband carl.
15
00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:40,808
Hi, doc.
16
00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,310
[doctor coughs]
17
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:43,111
Well...
18
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,845
Uh...
19
00:00:44,912 --> 00:00:46,080
Gee, why don't we all,
20
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,348
You know, sit down?
21
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:48,482
Heh.
22
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,084
Ah.
23
00:00:50,151 --> 00:00:53,053
So, uh, what seems
To be the problem?
24
00:00:53,121 --> 00:00:56,857
There's been a lot
Of tension and hostility
In our family lately,
25
00:00:56,924 --> 00:00:59,227
And I felt
It was not healthy
26
00:00:59,293 --> 00:01:00,894
To keep it all
Bottled up.
27
00:01:00,961 --> 00:01:01,962
That's true.
28
00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:03,464
And I was told
29
00:01:03,531 --> 00:01:06,734
That you're the top
Family counselor in chicago.
30
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:07,768
That's even more true.
31
00:01:07,835 --> 00:01:09,337
Ha ha ha ha.
32
00:01:09,403 --> 00:01:11,172
But seriously, though,
33
00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:13,341
Family tensions
Are quite normal.
34
00:01:13,407 --> 00:01:15,176
For instance,
It's not uncommon
35
00:01:15,243 --> 00:01:16,744
For teenage
Brothers and sisters
36
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:18,612
To exhibit hostility
Towards one another.
37
00:01:18,679 --> 00:01:19,813
Oh, that's not it.
38
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:23,784
Balloon-head and I
Get along just fine.
39
00:01:23,851 --> 00:01:24,985
Marital problems?
40
00:01:25,052 --> 00:01:27,188
Oh, no, no.
No problem there.
41
00:01:27,255 --> 00:01:28,356
Oh. Well, then,
42
00:01:28,422 --> 00:01:30,158
What is the problem?
43
00:01:30,224 --> 00:01:32,660
It's our neighbor.
44
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:38,866
Steve urkel.
45
00:01:39,700 --> 00:01:41,535
Hidey-ho!
46
00:02:00,688 --> 00:02:03,324
Did I do that?
47
00:02:19,940 --> 00:02:21,775
* it's a rare condition *
48
00:02:21,842 --> 00:02:23,411
* in this day and age *
49
00:02:23,477 --> 00:02:26,680
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
50
00:02:26,747 --> 00:02:30,518
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
51
00:02:30,584 --> 00:02:34,755
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
52
00:02:34,822 --> 00:02:38,158
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
53
00:02:38,226 --> 00:02:41,962
* inside these
Gentle walls *
54
00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:45,633
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
55
00:02:45,699 --> 00:02:50,471
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
56
00:02:50,538 --> 00:02:53,641
* as days go by *
57
00:02:53,707 --> 00:02:57,811
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
58
00:03:13,261 --> 00:03:15,429
Steve, what are you
Doing here?
59
00:03:15,496 --> 00:03:17,998
Carl, I asked him
To come.
60
00:03:18,065 --> 00:03:19,333
What were you
Thinking?
61
00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:21,435
Steve, I want you
To leave right now.
62
00:03:21,502 --> 00:03:23,537
Uh--uh, no. Perhaps
If this young man
63
00:03:23,604 --> 00:03:25,806
Is the source
Of your family's tension--
64
00:03:25,873 --> 00:03:29,377
And I can see
How that could happen...
65
00:03:29,443 --> 00:03:31,011
Maybe he should stay.
66
00:03:31,078 --> 00:03:33,447
Doc, I don't think
You understand
The problem here.
67
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:36,584
Source of tension?
Little old me?
68
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:39,753
I'm the hippy dippy
Happy fun guy.
69
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:43,557
Well, no offense, steve,
70
00:03:43,624 --> 00:03:45,158
But carl, eddie,
And laura
71
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,494
Feel that you've, uh...
72
00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:48,862
You've been
Driving us crazy.
73
00:03:49,997 --> 00:03:51,532
Well...
74
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,703
Why didn't you
Say something?
75
00:03:55,769 --> 00:03:57,971
I have...
76
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,740
Every day
77
00:03:59,807 --> 00:04:00,874
For the last
78
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,611
Six years.
79
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:08,982
You mean
You were serious?
80
00:04:11,352 --> 00:04:12,353
You know--
81
00:04:12,420 --> 00:04:13,454
Carl, carl, carl!
82
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,789
Just take--uh--uh--
83
00:04:15,856 --> 00:04:18,792
Perhaps it's best
If you each expressed
Your feelings.
84
00:04:18,859 --> 00:04:21,695
I learned that
In psychiatry school.
85
00:04:21,762 --> 00:04:24,432
Okay, uh,
Who would like
To go first?
86
00:04:24,498 --> 00:04:26,734
Um--uh, eddie.
87
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:30,504
It's hard to know
Where to start,
88
00:04:30,571 --> 00:04:32,540
I mean, since steve
Has been irritating me
89
00:04:32,606 --> 00:04:35,142
For so many years now.
90
00:04:35,208 --> 00:04:38,679
Like for instance,
Last week, I don't know why,
91
00:04:38,746 --> 00:04:42,215
But I let steve
Talk me into going
On a double date
92
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,585
With him
And his girlfriend.
93
00:04:46,420 --> 00:04:48,789
Yuck. What a terrible
Restaurant.
94
00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:51,325
Horrid.
"Chuck's cluck
For a buck."
95
00:04:51,392 --> 00:04:52,760
Yeech.
96
00:04:52,826 --> 00:04:55,195
They should have
Had a sign
In their window
97
00:04:55,262 --> 00:04:57,698
That said,
"Sorry, we're open."
98
00:04:57,765 --> 00:04:58,732
Hee hee hee hee!
99
00:04:58,799 --> 00:04:59,533
[snort snort]
100
00:04:59,600 --> 00:05:01,201
I love that snort.
101
00:05:01,268 --> 00:05:02,235
[giggles]
102
00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:03,504
I love that giggle.
103
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:04,538
[snort]
[giggle]
104
00:05:04,605 --> 00:05:06,907
[snort]
[giggle]
105
00:05:06,974 --> 00:05:08,175
[snort]
[giggle]
106
00:05:08,241 --> 00:05:11,311
[sigh]
[sigh]
107
00:05:12,713 --> 00:05:14,448
I think I'll make us
Some coffee.
108
00:05:14,515 --> 00:05:19,387
Maybe it will kill
That icky-yicky taste
Out of our mouths.
109
00:05:30,964 --> 00:05:34,167
Boy, we're in for
A real gourmet
Treat, sue.
110
00:05:34,234 --> 00:05:36,904
Myra makes
A mighty mean
Mug o' mud.
111
00:05:36,970 --> 00:05:38,138
Great.
112
00:05:38,205 --> 00:05:39,773
Not at all
Like tiffany.
113
00:05:39,840 --> 00:05:41,108
[cough]
114
00:05:44,344 --> 00:05:46,514
Tiffany? Who's tiffany?
115
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:50,017
Yeah. Who's tiffany?
116
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:53,454
I don't know anybody
Named tiffany.
117
00:05:53,521 --> 00:05:55,088
Well, sure you do, eddo.
118
00:05:55,155 --> 00:05:59,793
She's the bombshell
You went out with
A couple of nights ago.
119
00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:02,830
Eddie, you told me
You weren't dating
Anyone else.
120
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,197
I'm not, baby.
121
00:06:04,264 --> 00:06:06,066
Heh heh heh.
122
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,035
Steve made
A mistake,
123
00:06:08,101 --> 00:06:10,037
Didn't you,
Steve?
124
00:06:10,103 --> 00:06:12,540
I don't think so.
125
00:06:14,775 --> 00:06:18,078
Why, there's no mistaking
A girl like tiffany.
126
00:06:18,145 --> 00:06:20,981
Long legs.
127
00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:22,450
Soft hair.
128
00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:24,885
Pouty lips.
129
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,722
Tiffany, huh?
130
00:06:28,789 --> 00:06:31,625
I swear I don't know
Who he's talking about.
131
00:06:31,692 --> 00:06:32,860
Oh, how could you
Forget?
132
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,528
You spent a fortune
On her
133
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:37,765
At that expensive
French restaurant.
134
00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:40,200
And that's why
He took me
135
00:06:40,267 --> 00:06:42,069
To some cheap
Chicken joint?
136
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,837
Mmm...
137
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:47,841
Eddie winslow,
We're through!
138
00:06:47,908 --> 00:06:50,644
But--but, baby, baby,
Baby, baby, baby,
Listen, now.
139
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,480
There's an explanation
For all of this, sugar.
140
00:06:52,546 --> 00:06:57,551
Oh, there sure is--
That you're a lying,
Two-timing snake!
141
00:07:00,353 --> 00:07:03,924
Steve urkel
Is ruining my life.
142
00:07:03,991 --> 00:07:06,426
Now--now, just wait
A minute.
143
00:07:06,494 --> 00:07:08,862
Can I interject
A comment here?
144
00:07:08,929 --> 00:07:10,363
No!
No!
No!
145
00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,600
Please, let steve share
With the group.
146
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:15,068
The winslows really like me.
147
00:07:15,135 --> 00:07:16,837
-they're just in denial.
148
00:07:16,904 --> 00:07:18,606
- you must be kidding.
- denial?
149
00:07:18,672 --> 00:07:20,841
[all talking at once]
150
00:07:22,375 --> 00:07:23,711
Please.
151
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:27,781
Doc, have you noticed
My twitch?
152
00:07:27,848 --> 00:07:31,084
I would imagine
Being a police officer
Causes a lot of stress.
153
00:07:31,151 --> 00:07:32,720
Oh, no.
154
00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,389
Dealing with
Muggers and killers
Is easy for me.
155
00:07:36,456 --> 00:07:39,660
The twitch
Comes from steve.
156
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:43,664
Oh, pu-lease!
157
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,298
You're not going
To try and hang
158
00:07:45,365 --> 00:07:49,469
Your silly little
Twitch on me,
Now, are you?
159
00:07:49,537 --> 00:07:51,872
You don't remember
The other day?
160
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:54,474
Spring cleaning?
161
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:58,045
Oh, that.
162
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,379
Doc...
163
00:07:59,446 --> 00:08:01,014
That was the straw
164
00:08:01,081 --> 00:08:04,117
That broke
This winslow's back.
165
00:08:04,184 --> 00:08:07,020
We were cleaning the house
From top to bottom.
166
00:08:07,087 --> 00:08:08,155
Cock-a-doodle do.
167
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,257
I've got
Some good news
For you.
168
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,092
What, you're not
Staying long?
169
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:15,328
Nope-a-rooney.
I just finished
My latest invention.
170
00:08:15,395 --> 00:08:17,197
The urkel super vac.
171
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:19,232
Oh, great.
See you.
172
00:08:19,299 --> 00:08:22,235
This baby bodes well
For your
Spring cleaning.
173
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,538
It's a vacuum
Of indescribable
Sucking power.
174
00:08:24,605 --> 00:08:27,675
This baby could
Suck the spots
Off a leopard.
175
00:08:27,741 --> 00:08:32,245
We'll wait here
While you go find one.
176
00:08:32,312 --> 00:08:36,149
It's so strong I used it
To vacuum the grass clippings
177
00:08:36,216 --> 00:08:37,685
In my backyard.
178
00:08:37,751 --> 00:08:40,420
Oh, yeah, right!
179
00:08:40,487 --> 00:08:41,655
Steve, steve!
180
00:08:41,722 --> 00:08:43,757
Steve, we just cleaned
That floor!
181
00:08:43,824 --> 00:08:48,228
Tut-tut-tut-tut-tut-tut.
182
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,300
[vacuum cleaner starts]
183
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:01,041
That's amazing!
184
00:09:01,108 --> 00:09:03,110
Oh, yes. Yes.
185
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,579
Go ahead.
186
00:09:05,646 --> 00:09:07,080
Knock yourself out.
187
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,148
Ooh.
188
00:09:10,450 --> 00:09:12,285
Turn it on.
189
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:25,198
Ah! Aah!
190
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:26,466
Aah! Aah!
191
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,802
Ahh! Ahh!
192
00:09:32,039 --> 00:09:33,707
[screaming]
193
00:09:36,309 --> 00:09:38,779
[indistinct chattering]
194
00:10:06,173 --> 00:10:09,209
Look what you did.
195
00:10:21,121 --> 00:10:23,490
Okay, let me see
If I have this straight.
196
00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:24,992
Steve ruined eddie's date,
197
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,394
And he messed up
Your kitchen.
198
00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:30,698
That's right.
199
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,068
Doc, trust me.
200
00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,237
You haven't heard
Anything yet.
201
00:10:37,304 --> 00:10:40,774
Steve urkel has made my life
A living nightmare.
202
00:10:40,841 --> 00:10:42,642
Well, better
Get going, kids.
203
00:10:42,710 --> 00:10:44,511
Don't want
To miss the big dance.
204
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:45,779
Have a good time.
205
00:10:45,846 --> 00:10:47,848
Hi, laura.
206
00:10:49,216 --> 00:10:50,583
These are for you.
207
00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:51,618
Wow!
208
00:10:51,685 --> 00:10:56,256
Are you wearing a bra?
209
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:01,795
Steve, what did you
Just order us?
210
00:11:01,862 --> 00:11:03,663
Frog legs.
211
00:11:03,731 --> 00:11:06,099
Are you okay?
212
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:11,671
Watch it!
213
00:11:11,739 --> 00:11:13,841
[indistinct chattering]
214
00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:18,211
I hope their food is better
Than their service.
215
00:11:20,380 --> 00:11:22,015
Here, just a little...
216
00:11:22,082 --> 00:11:23,150
Okay.
217
00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:24,617
Okay.
218
00:11:24,684 --> 00:11:25,652
Oh.
219
00:11:25,719 --> 00:11:28,688
Oops. Let me
Brush that off.
220
00:11:50,043 --> 00:11:52,712
With this box
Of petit fours,
221
00:11:52,780 --> 00:11:55,215
Also comes the heart
That soars.
222
00:11:55,282 --> 00:11:57,717
My love for thee
Shall find a nest
223
00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,921
With cupid's arrow
In thy breast.
224
00:12:01,855 --> 00:12:03,857
* there's a feeling *
225
00:12:03,924 --> 00:12:04,925
[cats wailing]
226
00:12:04,992 --> 00:12:07,194
* oh, feelings *
227
00:12:08,095 --> 00:12:09,462
* ohh-- **
228
00:12:09,529 --> 00:12:11,198
Oh. Whoa. Ohh!
229
00:12:11,264 --> 00:12:12,432
Aah!
230
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,467
[thud]
231
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:17,270
Every fiber
Of my very being
232
00:12:17,337 --> 00:12:19,873
Belongs to the lovely
Laura winslow.
233
00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:26,780
I'm hers.
234
00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:27,915
My heart,
235
00:12:27,981 --> 00:12:29,349
My soul,
236
00:12:29,416 --> 00:12:32,519
Everything I am
Or ever will be
237
00:12:32,585 --> 00:12:35,188
Belongs to her.
238
00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:38,425
I'm comin' home
To ya, baby.
239
00:12:41,328 --> 00:12:45,833
Your urk-man
Is comin' home.
240
00:12:49,102 --> 00:12:51,004
I've heard of emotional
Fixations before,
241
00:12:51,071 --> 00:12:54,274
But this goes far beyond
Anything I've heard of.
242
00:12:54,341 --> 00:12:56,076
I'm finally beginning
To grasp
243
00:12:56,143 --> 00:12:57,777
The seriousness
Of these events.
244
00:12:57,845 --> 00:13:00,680
Serious? You want
To talk serious?
245
00:13:00,747 --> 00:13:01,949
Over the years,
246
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,351
Steve urkel
Has almost killed me,
247
00:13:04,417 --> 00:13:07,855
Not just once,
But on several occasions.
248
00:13:18,298 --> 00:13:19,366
Steve?
249
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:25,738
A boxer's most important
Punch is the jab.
250
00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,942
It's a quick straight blow
To your opponent's face.
251
00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:31,211
Now, let's see your jab.
252
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:35,215
How's that?
253
00:13:37,384 --> 00:13:39,719
This idiotic contraption
Really works.
254
00:13:39,786 --> 00:13:42,222
Oh, you're too kind,
Too kind.
255
00:13:42,289 --> 00:13:44,624
Let's see what else
We've got.
256
00:13:44,691 --> 00:13:45,725
Ooh!
257
00:13:45,792 --> 00:13:46,826
Hey!
258
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,295
Whuh-oh.
259
00:13:48,361 --> 00:13:50,864
Hang on to
Your boxers, carl.
We're off!
260
00:13:50,931 --> 00:13:52,165
Steve, wait.
Don't do any--
261
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:56,403
Aah! Steve, wait!
Steve!
262
00:13:58,071 --> 00:14:01,041
These wires will connect
To this cord,
263
00:14:01,108 --> 00:14:05,078
And this cord
Is not plugged in.
264
00:14:06,779 --> 00:14:10,550
Sloppy, sloppy,
Sloppy.
265
00:14:15,222 --> 00:14:17,390
[carl]
And when he wasn't
Trying to kill me,
266
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:18,892
He was destroying
My house.
267
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:20,760
No, no, no, no.
268
00:14:20,827 --> 00:14:22,562
That shelf is stuffed
To capacity.
269
00:14:22,629 --> 00:14:25,933
It won't hold
Any more weight.
270
00:14:25,999 --> 00:14:28,001
Carl,
That's a beach ball,
271
00:14:28,068 --> 00:14:29,469
A few ounces.
272
00:14:29,536 --> 00:14:35,275
A moment ago,
You were hanging
From that shelf.
273
00:14:35,342 --> 00:14:38,979
A weight that
Boggles the mind.
274
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:40,914
Alright.
275
00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:43,951
We'll put the beach ball
Up on the shelf
276
00:14:44,017 --> 00:14:46,553
And then we'll leave,
Okay?
277
00:14:46,619 --> 00:14:49,289
Hey, it's su casa.
278
00:14:52,926 --> 00:14:55,228
Okay.
279
00:14:58,932 --> 00:15:00,633
[creaking]
280
00:15:06,606 --> 00:15:08,541
2...
281
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:09,977
3!
282
00:15:35,668 --> 00:15:36,936
Oh!
283
00:15:52,319 --> 00:15:54,721
And those are just
Some of the things
284
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:57,490
That steve urkel has done to us.
285
00:15:57,557 --> 00:16:00,327
Why, I tell you, if I could
Get the publishing rights
286
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,929
To these stories,
I'd be a millionaire.
287
00:16:02,996 --> 00:16:06,966
Of course, I'm here to help you.
288
00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:09,002
Young man,
Are these stories true?
289
00:16:09,069 --> 00:16:10,437
I'm afraid so.
290
00:16:12,739 --> 00:16:14,807
Boy...
291
00:16:14,874 --> 00:16:16,576
When you think about it,
292
00:16:16,643 --> 00:16:20,513
I can't believe
You've put up with me
For all these years.
293
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:22,582
I love you winslows,
294
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,285
And if I've caused you
Any pain,
295
00:16:25,352 --> 00:16:27,754
I'm truly, truly sorry.
296
00:16:30,790 --> 00:16:34,061
Oh, now, wait, wait,
Wait a second, steve.
297
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:36,396
See, this is what
I was afraid of.
298
00:16:36,463 --> 00:16:38,865
Not one of you
Has mentioned
The nice things
299
00:16:38,931 --> 00:16:42,102
That steve
Has done for us.
300
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:43,736
Name two.
301
00:16:43,803 --> 00:16:45,972
I can name more
Than two, carl.
302
00:16:46,039 --> 00:16:48,275
You seem to have
A short memory,
303
00:16:48,341 --> 00:16:49,776
A very short memory.
304
00:16:49,842 --> 00:16:52,412
Steve has done a lot
Of nice things for us.
305
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:55,548
Not only have
You harassed
And insulted me,
306
00:16:55,615 --> 00:17:00,019
But you have sullied
The reputation
Of my lady love.
307
00:17:01,721 --> 00:17:04,824
Who are you taking to
The homecoming dance?
308
00:17:04,891 --> 00:17:06,759
I haven't asked
Anyone yet.
309
00:17:06,826 --> 00:17:09,996
Well, how do you feel
About laura winslow?
310
00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:11,331
How do I feel?
311
00:17:11,398 --> 00:17:13,733
She's the prettiest girl
In the school.
312
00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,235
I'd love to take her.
313
00:17:15,302 --> 00:17:17,670
I heard she's turned down
Every guy who's asked.
314
00:17:17,737 --> 00:17:20,807
If you ask her,
She won't turn you down.
315
00:17:20,873 --> 00:17:22,041
I'll ask her today.
316
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:23,843
Excellent.
317
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:25,278
Wait a minute.
318
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:27,280
Urkel, why are you
Doing this?
319
00:17:27,347 --> 00:17:29,916
Everybody knows
You're crazy about laura.
320
00:17:29,982 --> 00:17:31,818
Ironic, isn't it?
321
00:17:31,884 --> 00:17:33,686
But laura wants
To go with you,
322
00:17:33,753 --> 00:17:37,757
And all I care about
Is her happiness.
323
00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,025
Wow!
324
00:17:39,092 --> 00:17:42,795
You're like some kind
Of nerd saint.
325
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:53,673
I can't pull myself up!
326
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:54,841
Come on.
327
00:17:54,907 --> 00:17:58,010
We have to make
A human chain!
I'll go first.
328
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:02,048
No! I'm the lightest.
Let me.
329
00:18:02,115 --> 00:18:04,817
Hold onto the rope,
Slide out to him.
330
00:18:04,884 --> 00:18:06,085
Stay back, guys!
Stay back!
331
00:18:06,153 --> 00:18:08,188
Hurry!
332
00:18:09,689 --> 00:18:11,891
Faster, steve! Hurry up!
333
00:18:11,958 --> 00:18:13,893
I--I got him!
334
00:18:13,960 --> 00:18:15,995
I got him! Pull!
335
00:18:16,062 --> 00:18:17,364
Pull him up!
336
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:32,612
Are you okay?
337
00:18:35,282 --> 00:18:38,151
Merry christmas, laura.
338
00:18:43,190 --> 00:18:44,324
Emily!
339
00:18:44,391 --> 00:18:46,626
Steve, how did you
Ever find her?
340
00:18:46,693 --> 00:18:49,996
Well, I went down
To the dump,
And I lucked out.
341
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:54,301
It only took me
16 hours.
342
00:18:56,603 --> 00:18:59,071
Steve, you did that
For me?
343
00:18:59,138 --> 00:19:01,274
Of course.
344
00:19:01,341 --> 00:19:03,810
I love you.
345
00:19:07,247 --> 00:19:09,015
The ambulance
Is on its way.
346
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:10,983
How's he doing?
347
00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:12,352
Check for a pulse.
348
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:16,256
Nothing, steve.
He's still
Not breathing!
349
00:19:16,323 --> 00:19:19,592
Carl, please.
Come back to us, okay?
350
00:19:19,659 --> 00:19:21,494
Please, dad!
351
00:19:22,329 --> 00:19:23,596
[coughing]
352
00:19:23,663 --> 00:19:25,465
Oh, we got him.
353
00:19:25,532 --> 00:19:26,833
Dad!
354
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,206
If it wasn't
For steve urkel,
355
00:19:33,273 --> 00:19:36,709
My husband
Would not be alive today.
356
00:19:36,776 --> 00:19:38,945
Well, she's right, doc.
357
00:19:39,011 --> 00:19:41,748
And those good points
Are worth looking for.
358
00:19:41,814 --> 00:19:43,216
Once you found them,
359
00:19:43,283 --> 00:19:46,118
We can all begin
To forgive.
360
00:19:46,185 --> 00:19:48,555
Did you hear that,
Winslows?
361
00:19:48,621 --> 00:19:50,923
I heard the word
"Forgive."
362
00:19:50,990 --> 00:19:53,893
And nothing gets
The healing process
Started faster
363
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:55,662
Than a nice warm hug.
364
00:19:55,728 --> 00:19:58,398
Come on, winslows.
Let's hug this big guy.
365
00:19:58,465 --> 00:20:01,268
Come on, get in there.
Come on, laura.
366
00:20:01,334 --> 00:20:03,536
Come on, hug him.
Ha ha ha.
367
00:20:03,603 --> 00:20:05,405
- oh, yeah.
- okay.
368
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,876
Ahh...
369
00:20:14,747 --> 00:20:16,148
Doc,
370
00:20:16,215 --> 00:20:18,851
You are an excellent
Psychiatrist.
371
00:20:18,918 --> 00:20:21,521
One session
And my twitch is gone.
372
00:20:21,588 --> 00:20:23,656
By the way,
Here's your bill.
373
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,892
Oh. Ha ha ha.
374
00:20:36,503 --> 00:20:39,372
Oh, doc, by the way--
375
00:20:56,323 --> 00:20:58,491
Never mind.
376
00:21:06,299 --> 00:21:07,867
Hidey-ho, winslows.
377
00:21:07,934 --> 00:21:10,803
Oh, steve, get that thing
Out of here.
378
00:21:10,870 --> 00:21:13,306
Now don't get your
Knickers in a twist.
379
00:21:13,373 --> 00:21:14,974
I fixed the kinks
In this baby,
380
00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:18,511
And I've quadrupled
The sucking power.
381
00:21:18,578 --> 00:21:20,947
No, don't--
Wait.
382
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:24,317
Tut-tut-tut- tut-tut-tut.
383
00:21:28,621 --> 00:21:31,324
Witness the new
And improved
384
00:21:31,391 --> 00:21:33,826
Urkel super vac.
385
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:42,802
What?
386
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:43,836
Hey!
Steve--
387
00:21:43,903 --> 00:21:45,838
Steve! Steve!
388
00:21:45,905 --> 00:21:48,875
Ohh! Aah!
389
00:21:51,444 --> 00:21:53,680
Hey!
Get us out
Of here!
390
00:21:53,746 --> 00:21:55,047
[shouting]
391
00:21:55,114 --> 00:21:56,248
Uh-oh.
392
00:21:56,315 --> 00:21:58,050
It needs work.
393
00:21:58,117 --> 00:22:01,354
Steve!
25798
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