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1
00:00:05,839 --> 00:00:06,774
Gangway!
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,008
Gangway!
3
00:00:19,953 --> 00:00:23,023
I'll, uh, just
Pick those up later.
4
00:00:23,091 --> 00:00:25,526
- are you ready to go, steve?
- yep.
5
00:00:25,593 --> 00:00:28,729
Bring forth
The academic
Onslaught.
6
00:00:28,796 --> 00:00:30,298
Okay.
7
00:00:34,502 --> 00:00:35,903
Okay, we're going to start out
8
00:00:35,969 --> 00:00:37,671
With the periodic
Table of elements.
9
00:00:37,738 --> 00:00:39,073
Ooh, my fave.
10
00:00:40,841 --> 00:00:42,443
Shoot. Okay.
11
00:00:42,510 --> 00:00:44,612
"What's the atomic weight
Of scandium?"
12
00:00:44,678 --> 00:00:46,013
44.956.
13
00:00:46,080 --> 00:00:47,481
"Titanium?"
14
00:00:47,548 --> 00:00:48,516
47.89.
15
00:00:50,751 --> 00:00:52,453
Um, close. It's .88.
16
00:00:53,254 --> 00:00:55,089
Stupid! Stupid!
Stupid!
17
00:00:57,057 --> 00:00:59,493
Oh! How could I
Not know that?
18
00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:02,796
Oh, gee, do you think you can
Lose brain cells
19
00:01:02,863 --> 00:01:04,265
From eating
Too much cheese?
20
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:07,535
Take it easy. You're
A straight "A" student.
21
00:01:07,601 --> 00:01:09,170
You're the smartest kid
In school.
22
00:01:09,237 --> 00:01:13,307
Oh, big deal!
This country's lousy
With geniuses.
23
00:01:13,374 --> 00:01:16,277
I have to be
The smartest
Of the smartest.
24
00:01:16,344 --> 00:01:18,479
You can't get into
An omelet like m.I.T.
25
00:01:18,546 --> 00:01:20,148
Without breaking
A few eggheads.
26
00:01:21,549 --> 00:01:24,285
Steve, I've never
Seen you like this.
27
00:01:24,352 --> 00:01:28,522
I've wanted to go
To m.I.T. Ever since
I was in diapers.
28
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,326
Why, my first word
Was massachusetts.
29
00:01:33,161 --> 00:01:34,728
Then
Let's get to work.
30
00:01:34,795 --> 00:01:36,063
Alright.
You line 'em up,
31
00:01:36,130 --> 00:01:37,765
And I'll
Knock 'em down.
32
00:01:37,831 --> 00:01:38,866
Alright.
33
00:01:44,672 --> 00:01:45,439
All right.
34
00:01:45,506 --> 00:01:47,007
"What's the maximum voltage
35
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,676
Of an electric
Amazonian eel?"
36
00:01:48,742 --> 00:01:50,010
650 volts.
37
00:01:50,077 --> 00:01:52,112
Come on.
Challenge me.
38
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:54,382
Okay.
39
00:01:54,448 --> 00:01:57,518
"Who discovered hypergenetic
Parabolic transmutations?"
40
00:01:57,585 --> 00:02:00,154
Ethel von elaniak,
At age 42.
41
00:02:00,221 --> 00:02:02,055
She had three sons, michael jr.,
Skippy and robert.
42
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,557
Uh, steve--
43
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,494
Michael, jr.
Was a ladies' man,
And skippy liked veal.
44
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,028
Robert
Wore checkered pants.
45
00:02:08,095 --> 00:02:09,897
Skippy played golf
Into the wee hours...
46
00:02:18,939 --> 00:02:21,175
* it's a rare condition *
47
00:02:21,242 --> 00:02:22,676
* in this day and age *
48
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,613
* to read any good news
On the newspaper page *
49
00:02:25,679 --> 00:02:29,217
* and love and tradition
Of the grand design *
50
00:02:29,283 --> 00:02:33,654
* some people say
Is even harder to find *
51
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,390
* well, then, there must be
Some magic clue *
52
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:40,528
* inside these gentle walls *
53
00:02:40,594 --> 00:02:44,232
* 'cause all I see
Is a tower of dreams *
54
00:02:44,298 --> 00:02:49,069
* real love burstin'
Out of every seam *
55
00:02:49,136 --> 00:02:52,406
* as days go by *
56
00:02:52,473 --> 00:02:57,345
* it's the bigger love
Of the family **
57
00:03:21,902 --> 00:03:23,704
- what're you watching, carl?
- oh! Oh!
58
00:03:23,771 --> 00:03:25,573
[nervous laugh]
59
00:03:25,639 --> 00:03:27,308
Nothing.
Uh, just the weather.
60
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:30,143
Really?
61
00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,845
They report the weather
In bikinis now?
62
00:03:33,847 --> 00:03:34,815
[doorbell rings]
63
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,218
I'll get that. Ahem.
64
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:40,354
Can't even watch
A simple bikini contest.
65
00:03:43,291 --> 00:03:44,825
Hello, carl.
66
00:03:49,930 --> 00:03:51,599
Well...
67
00:03:51,665 --> 00:03:52,533
Pastor fuller.
68
00:03:52,600 --> 00:03:54,435
What a surprise
It is to see you.
69
00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:56,537
Don't worry.
I don't want money.
70
00:03:56,604 --> 00:03:58,906
Oh, come in.
Come in. Come in.
71
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:00,007
Harriette.
72
00:04:00,073 --> 00:04:02,510
Hi. How are you?
Have a seat.
73
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:05,413
How are things
Down at the church?
74
00:04:05,479 --> 00:04:06,880
Oh, very exciting.
75
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,749
As you know one of my
Responsibilities
76
00:04:08,816 --> 00:04:12,185
Is to counsel young who are
Planning to be married.
77
00:04:12,252 --> 00:04:13,487
We're matching them up
With couples
78
00:04:13,554 --> 00:04:15,022
That have been married
For many years
79
00:04:15,088 --> 00:04:18,726
To give them a sense
Of the give and take
Of marriage.
80
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,127
That's a great idea.
81
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:21,194
Thanks.
82
00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,464
I thought of it.
83
00:04:23,531 --> 00:04:25,098
So, would you two
Be interested?
84
00:04:25,165 --> 00:04:26,534
It'd only be
One afternoon.
85
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,836
Sure. How much
Does it pay?
86
00:04:28,902 --> 00:04:30,938
Ha ha ha ha!
87
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,906
Ha ha ha ha!
88
00:04:34,475 --> 00:04:35,709
We'd love to do it.
89
00:04:45,152 --> 00:04:46,086
[sniffs]
90
00:04:46,153 --> 00:04:47,955
Wow!
91
00:04:48,021 --> 00:04:49,957
You smell good!
92
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,225
Is that
A new perfume?
93
00:04:52,292 --> 00:04:53,226
Why, yes.
94
00:04:53,293 --> 00:04:54,962
It's called...
95
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,830
Sudden urge.
96
00:04:58,632 --> 00:05:00,000
Well...
97
00:05:00,067 --> 00:05:02,936
It's definitely
Given me
A sudden urge.
98
00:05:03,003 --> 00:05:03,937
Mmm.
99
00:05:04,004 --> 00:05:04,972
Mmm.
100
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:06,574
Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. Mmm.
101
00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:09,009
I'm serious,
Harriette.
102
00:05:09,076 --> 00:05:10,811
You smell like
A million bucks.
103
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:14,382
It didn't cost
A million bucks,
Did it?
104
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:16,817
Relax, carl.
105
00:05:16,884 --> 00:05:19,119
It's expensive,
But it didn't
Cost you a cent.
106
00:05:19,186 --> 00:05:20,220
It was a birthday gift.
107
00:05:20,287 --> 00:05:22,956
Birthday gift.
Ha ha.
108
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:30,097
Who's
The big spender?
109
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,399
Lance,
Down at ferguson's.
110
00:05:31,465 --> 00:05:33,100
Wasn't that nice?
111
00:05:34,368 --> 00:05:35,302
Lance?
112
00:05:35,369 --> 00:05:37,070
Lance?
113
00:05:37,137 --> 00:05:39,206
Yeah.
He works in bedding.
114
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,409
I just bet he does.
115
00:05:43,010 --> 00:05:44,044
Stop it, carl.
116
00:05:44,111 --> 00:05:45,979
He's just a friend.
117
00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,848
A friend.
118
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:50,684
Do you like
This lance a little
Or lance a lot?
119
00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:54,087
A little.
120
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,758
Oh, great.
121
00:05:57,825 --> 00:05:59,827
My wife
Is being romanced
122
00:05:59,893 --> 00:06:00,894
By a perfume-giving,
123
00:06:00,961 --> 00:06:04,064
Home-wrecking,
Wife-stealing weasel.
124
00:06:04,131 --> 00:06:05,399
I want you to take it back
125
00:06:05,466 --> 00:06:08,536
And tell lance to keep
His sudden urge.
126
00:06:08,602 --> 00:06:11,405
Don't be ridiculous.
We'll talk
About this later.
127
00:06:11,472 --> 00:06:12,840
We'll talk about it
Later, alright.
128
00:06:12,906 --> 00:06:14,808
We'll talk about how
I'm going to that store
129
00:06:14,875 --> 00:06:18,946
And tell some things
To that retail gigolo...
Lance.
130
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,616
- hello.
- mr. Winslow?
131
00:06:22,683 --> 00:06:24,384
You must be larry
And marilyn.
132
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:25,919
Yes, I'm larry,
133
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:27,555
And this is marilyn.
134
00:06:27,621 --> 00:06:28,856
I pieced that together.
135
00:06:30,123 --> 00:06:31,859
Please, come in.
Sit down.
136
00:06:31,925 --> 00:06:33,260
Thanks.
137
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:36,229
- hi.
- hi.
138
00:06:36,296 --> 00:06:38,932
Pastor fuller said
You could warn us
139
00:06:38,999 --> 00:06:41,201
About some of the pitfalls
Of marriage.
140
00:06:41,268 --> 00:06:42,570
Well, yes, we can.
141
00:06:42,636 --> 00:06:45,338
After all, we've
Been married 22 years.
142
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,641
Harriette, what is
That lovely perfume?
143
00:06:47,708 --> 00:06:49,309
Well, it's called...
144
00:06:49,376 --> 00:06:50,310
Sudden urge.
145
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:51,679
Oh.
146
00:06:52,646 --> 00:06:53,881
Hmm. Yeah. Ha ha.
147
00:06:53,947 --> 00:06:56,617
A friend
Gave it to her.
148
00:07:04,357 --> 00:07:06,026
Steve, why did you
Call me over here?
149
00:07:06,093 --> 00:07:07,928
Because I need your help.
150
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:10,764
I'm meeting
The m.I.T. Recruiter
In two hours,
151
00:07:10,831 --> 00:07:13,166
And I've come up with
A foolproof way
To ace it.
152
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,502
How?
153
00:07:14,568 --> 00:07:18,205
With my celebrity
Hair collection.
154
00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:20,474
Oh, lord.
What are you up to now?
155
00:07:25,312 --> 00:07:26,480
[alarm sounds]
156
00:07:26,547 --> 00:07:28,649
[urkel]
Step away from the safe!
157
00:07:28,716 --> 00:07:32,553
I repeat--
Step away from the safe!
158
00:07:32,620 --> 00:07:36,657
Step away from the safe!
159
00:07:36,724 --> 00:07:39,259
I'm going
To comb through
My hair collection.
160
00:07:39,326 --> 00:07:40,360
Hee hee hee hee!
161
00:07:40,427 --> 00:07:42,696
[snort]
162
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:46,934
And I'm going
To take the hair
Of albert einstein.
163
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:50,237
Then I'll use my
Gene-splitting skills
164
00:07:50,303 --> 00:07:52,272
And extract a strand
Of dna.
165
00:07:52,339 --> 00:07:54,474
Then I'll unlock
The genetic code
166
00:07:54,542 --> 00:07:56,476
That made einstein
A genius.
167
00:07:56,544 --> 00:07:59,479
Then I'll whip up
An albert elixir
168
00:07:59,547 --> 00:08:03,717
And become
The smartest dude
On earth.
169
00:08:03,784 --> 00:08:05,819
Hello.
170
00:08:05,886 --> 00:08:08,021
You're already one
Of the smartest kids
On earth.
171
00:08:08,088 --> 00:08:09,489
Just be yourself.
172
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:11,491
I've got one shot
At m.I.T.,
173
00:08:11,559 --> 00:08:13,126
And I'm
Not blowing it.
174
00:08:13,193 --> 00:08:14,261
And after I'm in,
175
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:19,199
I'll have
The rest of my life
To be myself.
176
00:08:19,266 --> 00:08:20,868
Are you o.K.?
177
00:08:20,934 --> 00:08:23,403
Oh. I'm fine. Fine.
But...
178
00:08:23,470 --> 00:08:26,039
Let's see, it's got--
179
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:27,941
I mixed up my hairs.
180
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:30,578
It's got to be
One of these two.
181
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,213
But I don't know
If this one's einstein...
182
00:08:33,280 --> 00:08:35,583
Or elvis.
183
00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:36,750
Well, let's see.
184
00:08:36,817 --> 00:08:38,819
It's this one.
No, it's this one.
185
00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:40,988
It's definitely this one.
186
00:08:53,400 --> 00:08:54,702
Okay.
187
00:08:58,238 --> 00:08:59,472
Perfect.
188
00:08:59,539 --> 00:09:01,108
Perfect.
189
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,943
The molecules are merging,
190
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:05,445
The dna patterns
Are interfacing,
191
00:09:05,512 --> 00:09:07,080
And the atomic structure
Is changing!
192
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:09,116
Ah ha ha ha!
193
00:09:10,751 --> 00:09:12,152
Uh, steve,
Why don't you
194
00:09:12,219 --> 00:09:16,456
Put a pool table
In this basement
Like most people?
195
00:09:16,523 --> 00:09:17,991
Stop joking around.
196
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:21,194
Now it's time
To shake and bake
My molecules.
197
00:09:23,764 --> 00:09:26,199
Uh, steve--
Shh!
198
00:09:26,266 --> 00:09:27,334
Not while I'm pouring.
199
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:34,341
Laura, would you
Do the honors?
200
00:09:42,082 --> 00:09:43,717
[hissing]
201
00:09:47,487 --> 00:09:51,358
[bells and sirens ringing]
202
00:09:51,424 --> 00:09:53,060
[humming]
203
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:55,128
[guitar strums]
204
00:10:08,408 --> 00:10:09,643
You okay.?
205
00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:11,178
[einstein's voice]
I'm trying to reconcile
206
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:14,982
The four forces of physics
Into a unified theory.
207
00:10:15,048 --> 00:10:17,851
But right now,
I could go for a cracker.
208
00:10:20,020 --> 00:10:21,188
Steve,
This is incredible!
209
00:10:21,254 --> 00:10:23,556
You look exactly like
Albert einstein!
210
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,192
The experiment
Was a success.
211
00:10:25,258 --> 00:10:27,160
[elvis' voice]
* uh huh-huh **
212
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:31,699
Uh-oh.
213
00:10:31,765 --> 00:10:34,334
You didn't use
Einstein's hair.
You used elvis'.
214
00:10:52,753 --> 00:10:53,954
[elvis' voice]
It sure is nice
215
00:10:54,021 --> 00:10:56,456
To be back
In my favorite city...
216
00:10:56,523 --> 00:10:57,991
Chicago.
217
00:10:58,058 --> 00:11:00,360
[I'm all shook up plays]
218
00:11:10,971 --> 00:11:13,907
Oh, my god! You're
Turning into elvis!
219
00:11:13,974 --> 00:11:16,877
I must have mixed up
The follicles.
220
00:11:16,944 --> 00:11:19,379
We have to do something.
This stuff works fast.
221
00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:20,914
[elvis' voice]
I love my mama.
222
00:11:23,784 --> 00:11:27,520
Why didn't you
Instantly become elvis?
223
00:11:27,587 --> 00:11:29,522
Because the elixir
Was einstein's,
224
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:31,324
But the hair
Was elvis'.
225
00:11:31,391 --> 00:11:36,296
Eventually, elvis' dna
Will completely
Take over.
226
00:11:36,363 --> 00:11:37,464
What are you doing?
227
00:11:37,530 --> 00:11:39,099
Mixing a batch
Of albert elixir
228
00:11:39,166 --> 00:11:41,368
While I can still
Think like steve.
229
00:11:41,434 --> 00:11:42,469
Hit
The reset button.
230
00:11:42,535 --> 00:11:43,536
Which one is it?
231
00:11:43,603 --> 00:11:45,138
The one marked "Reset."
232
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:53,847
[humming and whirring]
233
00:11:58,351 --> 00:11:59,552
Oh, no!
234
00:11:59,619 --> 00:12:00,754
Steve,
What happened?
235
00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,956
I burned out
A current induction chip!
236
00:12:03,023 --> 00:12:04,624
What are you going
To do?
237
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:06,326
[elvis' voice]
I don't know, baby.
238
00:12:11,731 --> 00:12:13,400
Oh, my god!
239
00:12:13,466 --> 00:12:15,068
The king
Is taking over!
240
00:12:15,135 --> 00:12:19,006
I have to pick up
A new chip at
The electronics emporium.
241
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,008
Stay here and stall
The recruiter.
242
00:12:21,074 --> 00:12:24,111
Do anything,
But don't let him leave.
243
00:12:24,177 --> 00:12:25,545
Don't worry.
I'll stall him.
244
00:12:25,612 --> 00:12:26,746
Oh, thanks.
245
00:12:26,814 --> 00:12:28,816
[elvis' voice]
You must love me tender.
246
00:12:31,451 --> 00:12:32,385
* uh huh-huh *
247
00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,420
* uh huh-huh *
248
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:34,587
* hey *
249
00:12:34,654 --> 00:12:35,989
* yeah **
250
00:12:36,056 --> 00:12:38,091
[urkel]
Get ahold of yourself, man!
251
00:12:42,629 --> 00:12:44,865
Elvis has, uh,
Left the building.
252
00:12:48,501 --> 00:12:51,738
Do you know where
I can get some
Of your perfume?
253
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:53,841
That's easy.
254
00:12:53,907 --> 00:12:56,343
Just strike up
A friendship
With lance.
255
00:12:57,878 --> 00:12:59,079
Carl...
256
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:01,048
I don't know why this
Bothers you so much.
257
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,050
He's just a coworker.
258
00:13:03,116 --> 00:13:05,652
It would bother me,
Too,
259
00:13:05,718 --> 00:13:07,520
If some guy gave
My wife perfume.
260
00:13:13,260 --> 00:13:14,161
Honey,
261
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:16,396
What if it was just
A harmless gift?
262
00:13:16,463 --> 00:13:20,300
I wouldn't let you
Accept a gift
Like that, pumpkin.
263
00:13:22,302 --> 00:13:24,804
What do you mean,
You wouldn't let me?
264
00:13:32,379 --> 00:13:34,848
There's no way I'm
Letting my future wife
265
00:13:34,915 --> 00:13:36,016
Accept gifts
From some guy
266
00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,417
Who's got the hots
For her.
267
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:46,259
But what if he's
Just a friend?
268
00:13:46,693 --> 00:13:47,760
Ow!
269
00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,963
You don't need friends!
You got me!
270
00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,165
You're going to tell me
What friends I can have?
271
00:13:52,232 --> 00:13:54,467
You're
The control freak.
272
00:13:54,534 --> 00:13:56,403
[everyone arguing]
273
00:14:01,942 --> 00:14:04,844
Mr. Urkel is now
20 minutes late.
274
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,580
I have a lot of students
To see today.
275
00:14:07,647 --> 00:14:09,149
Steve will be here
Any second.
276
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:12,986
Steve and m.I.T. Were
Made for each other.
277
00:14:13,053 --> 00:14:16,189
I'm afraid I'll have to
Note his tardiness.
278
00:14:16,256 --> 00:14:17,457
I am noting.
279
00:14:21,694 --> 00:14:24,231
[elvis' show music plays]
280
00:14:49,589 --> 00:14:50,590
[music stops]
281
00:15:01,701 --> 00:15:04,537
Mr. Fleming...
282
00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:05,973
This is steve.
283
00:15:08,875 --> 00:15:10,177
[elvis' voice]
Call me the king.
284
00:15:10,810 --> 00:15:12,045
All my friends do.
285
00:15:14,047 --> 00:15:16,416
Oh, that's a nickname.
Uh...
286
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,318
He's not only smart,
287
00:15:18,385 --> 00:15:19,552
He's a fun guy.
288
00:15:23,056 --> 00:15:25,325
Well, uh, steve,
289
00:15:25,392 --> 00:15:27,227
I'm herb fleming
From m.I.T.,
290
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,929
Where we don't have
A lot of fun guys.
291
00:15:36,903 --> 00:15:37,971
M.I.T., huh?
292
00:15:38,038 --> 00:15:39,406
I don't know
That label.
293
00:15:39,472 --> 00:15:42,642
M.I.T. Is a university,
Not a record company.
294
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,045
Are you okay,
Mr. Urkel?
295
00:15:45,112 --> 00:15:46,379
What'd you call me?
296
00:15:47,514 --> 00:15:48,381
Um...
297
00:15:48,448 --> 00:15:50,417
That's a nickname
You came up with
298
00:15:50,483 --> 00:15:52,552
So that your fans
Wouldn't hound you.
299
00:15:52,619 --> 00:15:54,821
Oh. Sorry I got mad.
300
00:15:54,887 --> 00:15:56,556
I guess I was all...
Shook up.
301
00:15:57,857 --> 00:16:00,627
Why are you wearing
This silly outfit?
302
00:16:00,693 --> 00:16:02,262
Hey, man,
Don't be cruel.
303
00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:07,567
I'll have to note
Your bizarre behavior.
304
00:16:08,368 --> 00:16:09,669
I'm noting.
305
00:16:11,038 --> 00:16:12,939
You seem a little upset.
306
00:16:13,006 --> 00:16:15,675
Want a cadillac?
307
00:16:15,742 --> 00:16:18,011
Are you trying
To bribe me?
308
00:16:18,078 --> 00:16:19,012
Not a caddy man, huh?
309
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:20,447
How about a watch?
310
00:16:20,513 --> 00:16:21,481
Oh!
311
00:16:21,548 --> 00:16:23,650
Excuse us.
312
00:16:23,716 --> 00:16:25,052
Steve,
Snap out of it.
313
00:16:25,118 --> 00:16:26,986
This is
Mr. Fleming
Of m.I.T.
314
00:16:27,054 --> 00:16:28,688
I know, priscilla, baby.
I can see him.
315
00:16:32,025 --> 00:16:34,294
Say,
Where's lisa marie?
316
00:16:34,361 --> 00:16:37,197
You don't want to know.
317
00:16:37,264 --> 00:16:40,800
Look...You're blowing
The whole interview.
318
00:16:40,867 --> 00:16:41,868
Oh, interview.
319
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,203
Uh--uh--
320
00:16:43,270 --> 00:16:44,704
You'll have to arrange that
With the colonel.
321
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:51,844
Mr. Fleming,
322
00:16:51,911 --> 00:16:55,048
There's a clear explanation
For all of this.
323
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,483
Psychosis?
324
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,552
No.
325
00:16:59,619 --> 00:17:01,388
Steve was worried
About this interview
With you,
326
00:17:01,454 --> 00:17:04,591
So he decided to change
His dna pattern
To albert einstein's,
327
00:17:04,657 --> 00:17:07,594
But he used elvis' hairs
Instead of einstein's
328
00:17:07,660 --> 00:17:10,063
And transformed himself
Into the king.
329
00:17:16,136 --> 00:17:18,771
Does this sound as crazy
As I think it does?
330
00:17:18,838 --> 00:17:20,173
Oh, yeah.
331
00:17:22,142 --> 00:17:23,676
Mr. Urkel, or...
332
00:17:23,743 --> 00:17:24,911
Whoever you are,
333
00:17:24,977 --> 00:17:28,248
You are definitely not
M.I.T. Material.
334
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:30,783
I'd like to change
The mood for a moment.
335
00:17:32,985 --> 00:17:34,887
Sometimes in life...
336
00:17:34,954 --> 00:17:37,590
We get down on ourselves,
337
00:17:37,657 --> 00:17:40,827
And we can't find a way
Out of our troubles.
338
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:43,029
And that's when we
Check into...
339
00:17:43,096 --> 00:17:44,764
[boom box
Plays guitar strum]
340
00:17:44,831 --> 00:17:47,100
The heartbreak hotel.
341
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,369
* since my baby left me *
342
00:17:49,436 --> 00:17:51,971
* I found a new place
To dwell *
343
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:54,274
* down at the end
Of lonely street *
344
00:17:54,341 --> 00:17:56,075
* at heartbreak hotel *
345
00:17:56,143 --> 00:17:57,210
* ohh *
346
00:17:57,277 --> 00:17:59,946
* I get so lonely, baby *
347
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:01,848
* I get so lonely *
348
00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:05,618
* I get so lonely,
I could die... *
349
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,726
Maybe he could go
To stanford.
350
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:18,498
* although
It's always crowded *
351
00:18:18,565 --> 00:18:20,633
* you still can find
Some room *
352
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,069
* where broken-hearted
Lovers *
353
00:18:23,136 --> 00:18:26,038
* cry away their gloom,
Oh *
354
00:18:26,105 --> 00:18:28,741
* I get so lonely *
355
00:18:28,808 --> 00:18:30,710
* I get so lonely *
356
00:18:30,777 --> 00:18:36,115
* I get so lonely,
I could die **
357
00:18:38,151 --> 00:18:39,919
Thank you.
Thank you.
358
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:42,021
Thank you very much.
359
00:18:42,088 --> 00:18:43,590
I love each and every one
Of you.
360
00:18:53,500 --> 00:18:55,868
I don't think we're
Ready to get married.
361
00:18:55,935 --> 00:18:59,506
There are some things
We didn't know
About one another.
362
00:18:59,572 --> 00:19:02,375
I feel exactly
The same way.
363
00:19:02,442 --> 00:19:04,344
Good.
364
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,379
Harriette, can you give me
A ride home, please?
365
00:19:06,446 --> 00:19:08,080
Wait a minute, please.
366
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:09,516
Just wait a minute.
367
00:19:09,582 --> 00:19:13,052
I might have
Given you guys
The wrong impression.
368
00:19:13,119 --> 00:19:14,887
Au contraire,
Mr. Winslow--
369
00:19:14,954 --> 00:19:17,524
If I may
Call you that.
370
00:19:17,590 --> 00:19:19,926
I think you really
Opened up our eyes.
371
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:22,929
Marriage is
Never perfect.
372
00:19:22,995 --> 00:19:24,331
You got to work at it.
373
00:19:24,397 --> 00:19:28,000
[carl]
There's always something
To stir the pot.
374
00:19:28,067 --> 00:19:30,303
Money, in-laws...
375
00:19:30,370 --> 00:19:33,940
Or, in my case, jealousy.
376
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,808
But when you're married
To a beautiful woman
Like harriette,
377
00:19:35,875 --> 00:19:37,076
You're always afraid
378
00:19:37,143 --> 00:19:39,879
Somebody's going to take
Her away from you.
379
00:19:39,946 --> 00:19:43,983
Oh, carl,
That was so sweet.
380
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:47,086
[chuckles]
381
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:49,489
I'm sorry,
Sweetheart.
382
00:19:49,556 --> 00:19:51,591
I don't know
What got into me.
383
00:19:51,658 --> 00:19:54,394
You have never
Given me a reason
To mistrust you.
384
00:19:54,461 --> 00:19:56,563
And I never will.
385
00:19:56,629 --> 00:19:57,630
I love you.
386
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:58,698
I love you, too.
387
00:20:06,005 --> 00:20:07,674
That was really sweet.
388
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:08,775
Yeah.
389
00:20:11,911 --> 00:20:13,780
That's the kind of marriage
I wanted to have.
390
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:18,251
Maybe we still can.
391
00:20:18,318 --> 00:20:19,719
Will you still
Marry me?
392
00:20:20,453 --> 00:20:23,923
Yes. I love you, larry.
393
00:20:23,990 --> 00:20:26,293
I love you, marilyn.
394
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,627
I'm sorry.
395
00:20:31,431 --> 00:20:32,732
Well,
That went smoothly.
396
00:20:41,140 --> 00:20:42,275
You all set, elvis?
397
00:20:42,342 --> 00:20:45,111
* uh huh-huh **
398
00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:46,779
Myra. Thanks for
Fixing the chamber.
399
00:20:46,846 --> 00:20:48,014
My pleasure.
400
00:20:48,080 --> 00:20:49,349
Lucky I'm
A well-rounded gal.
401
00:20:49,416 --> 00:20:50,917
I can decipher
A genetic code,
402
00:20:50,983 --> 00:20:52,118
Install
A computer chip,
403
00:20:52,184 --> 00:20:53,753
And do
A mean rumba.
404
00:20:57,223 --> 00:20:58,891
[humming and whirring]
405
00:21:02,962 --> 00:21:03,963
[humming stops]
406
00:21:05,197 --> 00:21:06,599
I added
A turbocharger.
407
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:07,734
[giggles]
408
00:21:17,577 --> 00:21:19,746
Welcome back,
Stevie.
409
00:21:19,812 --> 00:21:21,548
Wh-what happened?
410
00:21:21,614 --> 00:21:23,182
Where's the recruiter?
411
00:21:23,249 --> 00:21:24,317
He's gone.
412
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:25,852
How did I do?
413
00:21:25,918 --> 00:21:28,755
The bad news is,
You didn't get
Into m.I.T.
414
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:30,890
Oh! Oh!
415
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,325
But the good news
Is,
416
00:21:32,392 --> 00:21:34,293
Caesar's palace
Wants to book you
For a month.
27740
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