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♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
2
00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,125
♪ Come and knock on our door ♪
3
00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,582
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
4
00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,261
♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪
5
00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,864
♪ Where the kisses are
hers and hers and his ♪
6
00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:23,855
♪ Three's company too ♪
7
00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,693
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪
8
00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:30,162
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
♪ Take a step that is new ♪
9
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,364
♪ We've a loveable space
that needs your face ♪
10
00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,368
♪ Three's company too ♪
11
00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:39,170
♪ You'll see that
life is a ball again ♪
12
00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,574
♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪
13
00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:45,811
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
14
00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,614
♪ Three's company too ♪
15
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,190
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪
16
00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,558
♪ Three's company too ♪
17
00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:12,982
Oh, hi, Janet.
18
00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,350
I was just wondering if... Shh!
19
00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,940
Mr. Furley, could
you keep it down?
20
00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,142
Jack is sleeping.
21
00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,388
Oh, I'm sorry.
22
00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,956
But my Sunday paper didn't come,
23
00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,457
and there's something
very important
24
00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,414
I have to read.
25
00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,016
Oh, come on. You can read ours.
26
00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,317
It's on the coffee table.
27
00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,986
Could you read it here?
We haven't looked at it yet.
28
00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,055
Oh, sure.
29
00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,123
Here it is.
30
00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,558
See, editorial page.
31
00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,403
Oh, good. Would you excuse me?
32
00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,339
Terri and I are
having breakfast.
33
00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,562
Okay.
34
00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,383
Ha ha ha ha ha!
35
00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,018
I'm sorry, Jack,
36
00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,487
but some of these things
are just so darn funny,
37
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:05,690
you can't keep from laughing.
38
00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:09,160
Of course, they're not as
funny as they used to be.
39
00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:14,766
Like I remember when Dick
Tracy shot Pruneface full of holes.
40
00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,735
You can see right through him.
41
00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:19,337
Now, that was funny!
42
00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,287
But then, I guess
my all-time favorite
43
00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,344
was Little Orphan Annie.
44
00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,246
She never changed clothes much,
45
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,114
but she sure could sing.
46
00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,620
♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪
47
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,456
Mr. Furley... Aw.
What's going on?
48
00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,626
He woke me up.
49
00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,795
I'm sorry. I just
got carried away.
50
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,842
Mr. Furley, why don't
you take your paper
51
00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,677
and read it downstairs, okay?
52
00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,900
This isn't my paper.
53
00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:50,368
Sure it is.
54
00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:54,372
Ours didn't come today,
so I borrowed yours.
55
00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,473
What?
56
00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,342
You took my Sunday paper?
57
00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,245
Well, I was gonna
return it, but I fell asleep.
58
00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,852
I'm glad I woke you up!
59
00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,157
From now on, keep your hands
60
00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,259
off my personal things!
61
00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,827
Is that mine?
62
00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,696
No. You're lucky!
63
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,165
Damn!
64
00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,135
Weird.
65
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,136
What's up, Lar?
66
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,137
Wait till you hear.
67
00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,350
Hi, girls. Hi, Lar.
68
00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,385
You remember how I
borrowed your recipe
69
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,121
for the delicious
chocolate chip cookies?
70
00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,911
Yeah, for your
mother's bake sale.
71
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,346
Is that what I told you?
72
00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,526
Larry... No,
actually, what I did...
73
00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,561
And you're going to
thank me for this, Jack.
74
00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,064
What I did was, I entered
it in a cookie contest.
75
00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,187
What?
76
00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,100
Yeah, the Landers
Baking Company contest.
77
00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,302
They have it every year.
78
00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,124
Larry, I am a professional chef.
79
00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:48,460
I own my own restaurant.
80
00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,862
I can't go around entering
hokey little contests.
81
00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,043
Then you don't want the $10,000?
82
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,935
That's right. I... $10,000?
83
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,014
That's right.
84
00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,616
No, wait, wait!
Wait a minute, Larry!
85
00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,717
$10,000?
86
00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,941
Yeah, I just got this
special-delivery letter
87
00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,843
saying that's what Jack's won!
88
00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,212
I won $10,000?
89
00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:11,048
$10,000! $10,000!
90
00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,486
Wow!
91
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,521
Oh, Larry, Larry... Wait
a minute, wait a minute.
92
00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,168
When do I pick up
this money? Tuesday.
93
00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:22,171
You can pick up the check at
the Landers Baking Company.
94
00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:25,763
What? I just walk in and
pick up a check for 10 grand?
95
00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:30,134
Well, actually, there's a
little more to it than that.
96
00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,536
How much more?
97
00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:36,441
Well, actually, they're
not expecting Jack Tripper.
98
00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,476
Who are they expecting?
99
00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,145
Grandma Tripper.
100
00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,682
Grandma Tripper?
101
00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,596
The contest is only
open to women.
102
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,719
Larry!
103
00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,466
I thought they'd
mail him the check.
104
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,790
I didn't know you had
to show up in person.
105
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,969
I don't believe you.
106
00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,004
They are gonna
take one look at Jack
107
00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,773
and throw him
out, cookies and all.
108
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,030
Not if he dresses right.
109
00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,900
What, you want me to
dress up as a woman?
110
00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,328
Just long enough
to pick up the check.
111
00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:07,539
Larry, you have pulled
a lot of sleazy schemes
112
00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,541
in your time, but
this is the lowest.
113
00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,955
No, it isn't. Remember the
time I talked you through...
114
00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,113
Forget it, Larry!
115
00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:18,382
Jack has too much integrity
to do anything like this, ever.
116
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:21,119
Huh, not even for $10,000?
117
00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,587
No.
118
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,267
Some people can't
be bought, Larry.
119
00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,758
Jack wouldn't even
do this for $100,000.
120
00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,443
I'm surprised you
feel that way, pal.
121
00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,066
So am I.
122
00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,735
No, I mean... No,
no, I'm surprised
123
00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,869
that he's surprised.
124
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,704
He should know about
my integrity by now.
125
00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,850
Come on. Right.
126
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:41,951
There's your answer, Larry.
127
00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,986
So you can just forget
about your hokey scheme.
128
00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,822
Okay, okay, but I
want you to know
129
00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,957
that his integrity is
costing me $5,000.
130
00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,848
What? My half of the prize.
131
00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,928
I was the one who
sent in the recipe.
132
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,051
Get out, Larry.
133
00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,420
Okay, $2,500.
134
00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,688
Out!
135
00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,601
All right, now this
is my final offer.
136
00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,824
Out! Out!
137
00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:06,298
Boy, oh, boy, can
you believe that guy?
138
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,498
Really.
139
00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,402
Thinking that Jack
would stoop that low.
140
00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,470
Yeah.
141
00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,783
You did the right
thing, Jack. Yeah.
142
00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,140
It was the only way
to go, girls, come on.
143
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:21,246
I don't care how much we're
gonna miss that color TV.
144
00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,081
Right.
145
00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,082
What TV?
146
00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,216
Nothing, nothing.
147
00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,096
Just for a second
there, I was thinking
148
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,954
that I'd get us a
new color TV set
149
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,063
with the prize money.
150
00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,295
I'd still have enough left
over after getting the car.
151
00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,310
Car? Car?
152
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,934
Yeah, nothing fancy.
153
00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,071
Just a little convertible so
we could take weekend trips
154
00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,472
up the coast to Big Sur.
155
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,107
Big Sur?
156
00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,142
Or to Vegas,
depending on our mood.
157
00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,879
But hey, pumpkins, we don't
need any contests, do we?
158
00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,615
Soon I'll have enough
money of my own to buy a car.
159
00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:58,994
You've been saving up?
160
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:03,621
I sure have, $7.00 a
week for the past month.
161
00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,775
It's getting
awfully late, Janet.
162
00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,433
I know. Hey, Jack,
you better hurry up!
163
00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,269
Coming!
164
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,315
Well, what do you think?
165
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,117
Oh, Grandma, what
big feet you have.
166
00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,686
Let's call this off.
167
00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:35,798
No!
168
00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:36,966
Jack, come back.
169
00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,591
Come back here, Jack.
Come on, you look wonderful.
170
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,526
No, I'll never get
away with this.
171
00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,473
When did you
suddenly get cold feet?
172
00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,263
When I looked in the mirror.
173
00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,933
Jack, all you have
to do is walk in,
174
00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,578
pick up a check, and walk out.
175
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:50,535
Yeah, but...
176
00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:51,980
No more buts. Come on.
177
00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,349
Oops! Terri, Terri,
wait a minute.
178
00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,340
No, this isn't gonna
work. I gotta tell...
179
00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,942
What if I have to go
to the little girls' room?
180
00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,210
Just sit down.
181
00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,015
So I can check your make-up.
182
00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,449
Oh.
183
00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,529
Nobody in his right mind
is ever gonna believe
184
00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:08,553
that I'm a woman.
185
00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,855
Oh, I'll get that.
186
00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,493
Oh, hi, Mr. Furley. Hi, Janet.
187
00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,042
I just wanted to ask if...
188
00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,499
Well...
189
00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,369
who do we have here, now?
190
00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,443
Mr. Furley, we
would like for you
191
00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,279
to meet a dear friend of ours.
192
00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,280
Hello, there.
193
00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,882
I'm Ralph Furley.
194
00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,552
I'm Jack Tripper.
195
00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,660
Oh, my God!
196
00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,695
You've finally
gone over the edge!
197
00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,441
Mr. Furley, no. The...
198
00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:55,378
Let me tell you, the reason I'm
dressed in these clothes is because...
199
00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,669
No, don't tell me! I
don't even wanna hear it!
200
00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,738
It's the only way I could get
the money for my cookies.
201
00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,740
Cookies?
202
00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:07,044
Jack, if you think you're
gonna pass for a Girl Scout...
203
00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:11,215
Mr. Furley, we
have things to do.
204
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,162
Let me give you
a little tip, Jack.
205
00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,746
Pink is not your color.
206
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,389
Makes you look old!
207
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,958
It's fuchsia!
208
00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,560
See, you fooled Furley.
209
00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:23,973
Yeah, well, that's
because I'm better-looking
210
00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,429
than most of his dates.
211
00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,166
Wait, hold... Oops.
212
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,778
Hi, Janet. Hi, Lar.
213
00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,814
Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't
know you had company.
214
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:32,704
Where's Jack?
215
00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,774
Uh... ahem, he's around.
216
00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:36,775
Thanks. Sure.
217
00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,744
Jack? Yo, Jack! It's me, Lar.
218
00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,245
Yes?
219
00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,250
I beg your pardon.
I'm looking...
220
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,686
Jack?
221
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:49,999
Well, what do you think?
222
00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,168
What do you think, Lar?
223
00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,559
So you can't be bought, huh?
224
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:57,740
Larry, Jack isn't doing
this for the money.
225
00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,696
I'm not?
226
00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,598
I'm not! I'm not.
227
00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,768
No, he's doing it
for the principle.
228
00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,336
What principle?
229
00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,072
Well, what...
230
00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,341
Reverse sex discrimination.
231
00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,244
Oh, that's good. Thank you.
232
00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:15,680
Reverse sex discrimination.
233
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:17,915
Mm-hmm. Absolutely!
234
00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:21,297
Well, why should a person be
excluded from a cooking contest
235
00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,698
just because he's a man?
236
00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:23,955
Well, that's a good point.
237
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,801
Larry, Jack is only doing this
238
00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,670
to make a statement
for equality.
239
00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,627
Right. You understand, Larry?
240
00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,729
Sure, you're doing
it for the principle.
241
00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,130
That's right.
242
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,299
Uh-huh. Then can I
have the prize money?
243
00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,568
No way.
244
00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,938
I should have known.
When it comes to money,
245
00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,606
you women are all alike!
246
00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,877
Why are we friends
with this guy?
247
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,313
I don't know. What time is it?
248
00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,340
Oh, I'm so nervous, I'm
afraid I'm gonna blow it.
249
00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,275
You won't if you
don't open your mouth.
250
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,843
Just let us do the talking.
251
00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,200
And if anyone talks to you,
252
00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,336
just pretend you're
hard of hearing.
253
00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,449
Look, Jack, all you have
to do is get your check,
254
00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:14,784
and we can get out of here.
255
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:15,739
Shh.
256
00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,019
Hello.
257
00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:20,478
I'm Marion Holman
of Landers Baking.
258
00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,827
Hello.
259
00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:24,815
This is Grandma Tripper,
260
00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:28,486
and we are his...
261
00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,555
Her nieces.
262
00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:34,525
Oh, she's so charming.
263
00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,962
Congratulations, Grandma.
264
00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,631
Eh?
265
00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,201
She's a little hard of hearing.
266
00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,203
Oh.
267
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,592
Congratulations!
268
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,546
Do you think that Grandma
could get her check?
269
00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,948
She's a little bit tired.
270
00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:59,483
Yes, it's way past her bedtime.
271
00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,333
Don't worry. We'll
move things along
272
00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,468
just as fast as we can.
273
00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,693
Please have a seat.
274
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,562
Thank you.
275
00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:12,964
Guys, she bought it.
276
00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,965
Yeah! She really did?
277
00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,635
Told you there was
nothing to worry about.
278
00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,439
Okay, now, remember Granny.
279
00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,440
Right, right.
280
00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,786
Lead the way, my child.
281
00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,370
Let's sit, all right?
282
00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,668
Oh, Granny?
283
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,459
Hi, I'm Melody.
What's your name?
284
00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,582
I'm Jack.
285
00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,651
Ja... It's short for Jacqueline.
286
00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,052
Oh.
287
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,703
Mm, that's a nice scent.
288
00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,294
Thank you.
289
00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,163
That smells just like
my boyfriend's cologne.
290
00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,066
Boy... You have...
You have a boyfriend?
291
00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,512
Oh, well, it's nothing serious.
292
00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,468
Good.
293
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,703
Good.
294
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,072
Bronchit...
295
00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,573
I just think it's nice
296
00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,744
for a sweet, young,
juicy girl like yourself
297
00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,980
to play the field
like I do, you know.
298
00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,255
Hello.
299
00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,789
I don't believe we've met.
300
00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,160
Well, I... And I
prefer it that way.
301
00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:50,794
My, aren't we witty.
302
00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,665
Now, my child, where were we?
303
00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,734
Ooh, you have
such lovely patellas.
304
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:57,901
May I squeeze them?
305
00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,810
Oh!
306
00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,172
Oh, Granny?
307
00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,719
You don't look too well.
308
00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,309
You look a little flushed.
309
00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,945
Yeah, I bet you forgot
to take your tonic, Grans.
310
00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,681
Why don't you come over
here and sit down, Granny?
311
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,585
Yike!
312
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,356
Well, the big moment is at hand.
313
00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:22,259
Would you ladies
follow me, please?
314
00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,462
Shall we?
315
00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,863
We'll help you, Granny!
316
00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,372
She's getting so feeble.
317
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,336
Jack, would you please behave?
318
00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,273
A few more minutes, you'll have
your check, and we can go home.
319
00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,008
I hope so. My
girdle's killing me.
320
00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,270
Who are all these people?
321
00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,862
Good afternoon,
ladies and gentlemen,
322
00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:02,033
and welcome to the
Landers Baking Contest.
323
00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,500
Contest?
324
00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,170
I'm gonna kill that Larry.
325
00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,540
Let's give a big welcome
to our three finalists.
326
00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:18,148
One of them will be declared
our grand-prize winner,
327
00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:23,220
and will receive a
check for $10,000.
328
00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:27,492
Now let's welcome our
president, Mr. Bert Landers.
329
00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,698
Thank you very much.
330
00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,299
Hello, everybody.
331
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,868
Well, enough of this talk.
332
00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,337
Let's get this contest underway.
333
00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,020
But first, I think
we should meet
334
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,945
our three lovely finalists.
335
00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:52,249
First, we have
Ms. Melody Wilson.
336
00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,181
Good luck, my dear.
337
00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,658
And next we have
Ms. Brenda McNair.
338
00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:10,501
And finally, we have
Grandma Tripper.
339
00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,009
Oh! Oh!
340
00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,789
You'd better take
care of that cough.
341
00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,845
Sorry, Bert.
342
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:25,382
And now, the ladies
have in front of them
343
00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,453
on their work tables
all the ingredients
344
00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:32,223
listed in their own
personal recipes.
345
00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,625
So let's begin!
346
00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,431
Terri, I wish I'd never
let you talk me into this.
347
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,533
You were the one
that wanted the TV.
348
00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,712
That's not true.
349
00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,669
What?
350
00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,437
I wanted the car.
351
00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,644
You're wasting
your time, dearie.
352
00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,480
I beg your pardon.
353
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,916
They've already filled
my name in on the check.
354
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,256
That's bush league, darling.
355
00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,325
Check this out.
356
00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,228
Talk to me, eggy weggy.
Be nice to your egg, woo!
357
00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,074
And for those of
you in Australia...
358
00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,266
This really cracks me up. Mm.
359
00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:17,913
You're not using
this, are you, mama?
360
00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,837
Thank you so much.
361
00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,774
All right, now watch and learn.
362
00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:28,178
And joining the eggs, the
soon-to-be-released sugar.
363
00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,548
Release me. Release me.
364
00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,252
And of course the margarine.
365
00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,354
Butter.
366
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,992
And springtime would
never be complete
367
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,429
without some flour power.
368
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:49,333
And of course, a
smidge of vanilla.
369
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,337
But not every night's
prom night, is it?
370
00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,407
Ah cha! Good for Granny.
371
00:17:56,475 --> 00:18:00,177
Un soupçon of baking soda.
372
00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,246
It's magic time.
373
00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,351
And as I've said
before, and I'll say again,
374
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,986
let the chocolate chips
fall where they may.
375
00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,525
And now, the
piece de resistance:
376
00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,862
walnuts, nutmeg, and of
course my secret ingredient,
377
00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,832
which you will never, ever know.
378
00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,832
Oh, dear.
379
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,268
Oh, allow me, my child.
380
00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,417
But we both can bend, can't we?
381
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,771
Down and up.
382
00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:32,643
My secret ingredient!
383
00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,045
Oh, I am so clumsy.
384
00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,681
Here, let me help.
385
00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,852
Oh, oops, I am sorry.
386
00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,289
Granny!
387
00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:54,758
Quick, do you have any candy
or anything sweet like that?
388
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,311
No. All I have is this box of...
389
00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,512
This will have to do.
390
00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,847
But Jack... Terri, what
do you keep saying?
391
00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,282
I can't win with plain
chocolate cookies.
392
00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,483
Don't worry, I'll make it work.
393
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,987
I'm a chef, remember?
394
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:10,681
You haven't won yet, Number 2.
395
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,950
And if you put your
hand on my table again,
396
00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,052
I'll be baking lady fingers.
397
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,012
Oh, Jack, where have you been?
398
00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,279
The judging's almost over.
399
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,315
I had to go to the
little girls' room.
400
00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,699
What? Don't worry, I
kept my eyes closed.
401
00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,575
Terri, listen, I have to know.
402
00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,688
What exactly did I put
in those cookies anyway?
403
00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,013
Cough drops.
404
00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,147
Cough drops?
405
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,215
With menthol.
406
00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:47,284
What? Oh, no. Uh-oh.
407
00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,331
Landers is looking
over here. He knows.
408
00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,555
We've gotta get out of
here. Come on, let's go.
409
00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,335
Too late. Here he comes.
410
00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,793
Okay, I'm gonna
go to a women's jail.
411
00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,222
Excuse me, may I
have a word with you?
412
00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,397
Why, certainly, sir.
413
00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,133
Call a lawyer.
414
00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,104
I want you to know that
I've had my eye on you
415
00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,453
from the very start.
416
00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:10,719
You have? Yes.
417
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:14,712
All this Granny business
didn't fool me one bit.
418
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,180
It didn't?
419
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,817
I know what's
underneath that dress.
420
00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,786
You do?
421
00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:27,057
A warm, young, vibrant woman,
422
00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:31,095
full of passion, eager for life.
423
00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:33,664
How did you guess?
424
00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,834
Because we are two of a kind.
425
00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,770
Oh, more than you know.
426
00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:46,076
After the contest,
let's go have a drink.
427
00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:49,280
Whow! Naughty boy!
428
00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,284
And now, ladies and gentlemen,
429
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:57,054
it's time to crown our
queen of the kitchen.
430
00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:59,823
Now, this was not
an easy choice,
431
00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,960
what with Melody Wilson's
oatmeal raisin cookies,
432
00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:06,429
Brenda McNair's
raspberry tart cookies,
433
00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,500
and Grandma Tripper's...
434
00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,869
What do you call your cookies?
435
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:16,039
Chocolate mint surprise cookies.
436
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:20,477
Easily the most unusual
cookie I have ever tasted.
437
00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,466
Why, do you know,
one of the judges
438
00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,459
was feeling a little
bit under the weather,
439
00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,616
and he ate a cookie,
440
00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,785
and it actually
cleared his sinuses.
441
00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,622
So...
442
00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:39,262
the winner of this year's
grand prize of $10,000 is...
443
00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:40,830
Grandma Tripper!
444
00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:44,802
Aah!
445
00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,874
Oh!
446
00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,843
Your crown.
447
00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:55,746
My crown!
448
00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,315
Your robe.
449
00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,950
My robe!
450
00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:03,687
And your check for $10,000.
451
00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:12,096
You've made me the
happiest grandma alive.
452
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:17,067
I owe so much to all those
little people who helped me...
453
00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:20,971
Too many names to mention
now, but I would like to single out
454
00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:24,475
my two loving nieces,
Janet and Terri.
455
00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:25,543
Take a bow, girls.
456
00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:30,647
You know, ladies and gentlemen,
457
00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:33,617
I would like to share
this crown with them...
458
00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:34,918
Aah!
459
00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,990
Uh, because if it
wasn't for them,
460
00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,758
I wouldn't be here right now,
461
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,694
which I will never
let them forget.
462
00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:47,364
Let me make one
thing perfectly clear.
463
00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,711
I did not do this for the money,
464
00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:52,202
nor for the honors
that go along with it.
465
00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:54,471
The important thing
is this is America,
466
00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,951
where people love a good joke.
467
00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:00,510
And never press charges.
468
00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:02,747
And in conclusion,
I would like to say...
469
00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:05,615
Are we going for that
drink now, man? I'll buy.
470
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,229
Oh, is it good to be home.
471
00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:21,064
I just wanna get
out of these clothes
472
00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:24,201
and go down to the Regal
Beagle for a nice cold beer.
473
00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:28,372
Gee, the ride home
was so embarrassing.
474
00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,075
I never thought that cab
driver was gonna stop laughing.
475
00:23:31,144 --> 00:23:33,377
He did when he saw the tip.
476
00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,982
What a day, Terri,
and that dumb contest.
477
00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:40,362
Oh, don't think
about it anymore.
478
00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:42,030
Just put it out of your head.
479
00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,387
Okay.
480
00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:45,434
How about some milk and cookies?
481
00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,690
Don't say cookies!
482
00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:49,326
I meant crackers,
crackers, crackers.
483
00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:52,529
Excuse me. Is Jack home?
484
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,678
Yeah, Mr. Furley. He's
getting ready to go out.
485
00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:55,944
Oh, well, I just wanted...
486
00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:58,835
Hey, can one of you
girls help me with this bra?
487
00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:04,441
Jack!
488
00:24:04,510 --> 00:24:06,610
Mr. Furley.
489
00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:10,225
I never thought I'd say this,
490
00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:13,216
but please put on a dress!
491
00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,719
He hates me!
492
00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:45,883
Three's Company was videotaped
493
00:24:45,951 --> 00:24:47,785
in front of a studio audience.
494
00:24:57,696 --> 00:25:00,656
Closed-Captioned By J.R.
Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
31975
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