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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:13,579 ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ 2 00:00:13,647 --> 00:00:15,125 ♪ Come and knock on our door ♪ 3 00:00:15,149 --> 00:00:16,582 ♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪ 4 00:00:16,650 --> 00:00:18,261 ♪ We've been waitin' for you ♪ 5 00:00:18,285 --> 00:00:20,864 ♪ Where the kisses are hers and hers and his ♪ 6 00:00:20,888 --> 00:00:23,855 ♪ Three's company too ♪ 7 00:00:23,924 --> 00:00:27,693 ♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪ ♪ Come and dance on our floor ♪ 8 00:00:27,762 --> 00:00:30,162 ♪ Take a step that is new ♪ ♪ Take a step that is new ♪ 9 00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:33,364 ♪ We've a loveable space that needs your face ♪ 10 00:00:33,434 --> 00:00:36,368 ♪ Three's company too ♪ 11 00:00:36,437 --> 00:00:39,170 ♪ You'll see that life is a ball again ♪ 12 00:00:39,239 --> 00:00:42,574 ♪ Laughter is calling for you ♪ 13 00:00:42,643 --> 00:00:45,811 ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ 14 00:00:45,880 --> 00:00:48,614 ♪ Three's company too ♪ 15 00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:58,190 ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ ♪ Down at our rendezvous ♪ 16 00:00:58,259 --> 00:01:00,558 ♪ Three's company too ♪ 17 00:01:11,938 --> 00:01:12,982 Oh, hi, Janet. 18 00:01:13,006 --> 00:01:14,350 I was just wondering if... Shh! 19 00:01:14,374 --> 00:01:15,940 Mr. Furley, could you keep it down? 20 00:01:16,009 --> 00:01:17,142 Jack is sleeping. 21 00:01:17,211 --> 00:01:18,388 Oh, I'm sorry. 22 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,956 But my Sunday paper didn't come, 23 00:01:19,980 --> 00:01:21,457 and there's something very important 24 00:01:21,481 --> 00:01:22,414 I have to read. 25 00:01:22,482 --> 00:01:24,016 Oh, come on. You can read ours. 26 00:01:24,085 --> 00:01:25,317 It's on the coffee table. 27 00:01:25,386 --> 00:01:27,986 Could you read it here? We haven't looked at it yet. 28 00:01:28,055 --> 00:01:29,055 Oh, sure. 29 00:01:29,123 --> 00:01:30,123 Here it is. 30 00:01:30,190 --> 00:01:32,558 See, editorial page. 31 00:01:32,626 --> 00:01:34,403 Oh, good. Would you excuse me? 32 00:01:34,427 --> 00:01:36,339 Terri and I are having breakfast. 33 00:01:36,363 --> 00:01:37,562 Okay. 34 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:58,383 Ha ha ha ha ha! 35 00:01:58,452 --> 00:02:00,018 I'm sorry, Jack, 36 00:02:00,086 --> 00:02:02,487 but some of these things are just so darn funny, 37 00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:05,690 you can't keep from laughing. 38 00:02:05,759 --> 00:02:09,160 Of course, they're not as funny as they used to be. 39 00:02:09,230 --> 00:02:14,766 Like I remember when Dick Tracy shot Pruneface full of holes. 40 00:02:14,835 --> 00:02:16,735 You can see right through him. 41 00:02:16,804 --> 00:02:19,337 Now, that was funny! 42 00:02:22,375 --> 00:02:24,287 But then, I guess my all-time favorite 43 00:02:24,311 --> 00:02:26,344 was Little Orphan Annie. 44 00:02:26,413 --> 00:02:28,246 She never changed clothes much, 45 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:30,114 but she sure could sing. 46 00:02:32,052 --> 00:02:35,620 ♪ Tomorrow, tomorrow ♪ 47 00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:38,456 Mr. Furley... Aw. What's going on? 48 00:02:38,525 --> 00:02:41,626 He woke me up. 49 00:02:41,695 --> 00:02:43,795 I'm sorry. I just got carried away. 50 00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,842 Mr. Furley, why don't you take your paper 51 00:02:45,866 --> 00:02:47,677 and read it downstairs, okay? 52 00:02:47,701 --> 00:02:48,900 This isn't my paper. 53 00:02:48,968 --> 00:02:50,368 Sure it is. 54 00:02:50,437 --> 00:02:54,372 Ours didn't come today, so I borrowed yours. 55 00:02:54,441 --> 00:02:55,473 What? 56 00:02:55,542 --> 00:02:57,342 You took my Sunday paper? 57 00:02:57,411 --> 00:03:00,245 Well, I was gonna return it, but I fell asleep. 58 00:03:06,220 --> 00:03:07,852 I'm glad I woke you up! 59 00:03:10,157 --> 00:03:12,157 From now on, keep your hands 60 00:03:12,225 --> 00:03:14,259 off my personal things! 61 00:03:14,328 --> 00:03:15,827 Is that mine? 62 00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,696 No. You're lucky! 63 00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:20,165 Damn! 64 00:03:21,935 --> 00:03:24,135 Weird. 65 00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,136 What's up, Lar? 66 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,137 Wait till you hear. 67 00:03:26,206 --> 00:03:27,350 Hi, girls. Hi, Lar. 68 00:03:27,374 --> 00:03:29,385 You remember how I borrowed your recipe 69 00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:31,121 for the delicious chocolate chip cookies? 70 00:03:31,145 --> 00:03:32,911 Yeah, for your mother's bake sale. 71 00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:34,346 Is that what I told you? 72 00:03:34,415 --> 00:03:36,526 Larry... No, actually, what I did... 73 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,561 And you're going to thank me for this, Jack. 74 00:03:38,585 --> 00:03:41,064 What I did was, I entered it in a cookie contest. 75 00:03:41,088 --> 00:03:42,187 What? 76 00:03:42,256 --> 00:03:44,100 Yeah, the Landers Baking Company contest. 77 00:03:44,124 --> 00:03:45,302 They have it every year. 78 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:47,124 Larry, I am a professional chef. 79 00:03:47,193 --> 00:03:48,460 I own my own restaurant. 80 00:03:48,528 --> 00:03:50,862 I can't go around entering hokey little contests. 81 00:03:52,032 --> 00:03:54,043 Then you don't want the $10,000? 82 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,935 That's right. I... $10,000? 83 00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:58,014 That's right. 84 00:03:58,038 --> 00:03:59,616 No, wait, wait! Wait a minute, Larry! 85 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:00,717 $10,000? 86 00:04:00,741 --> 00:04:02,941 Yeah, I just got this special-delivery letter 87 00:04:03,010 --> 00:04:04,843 saying that's what Jack's won! 88 00:04:04,911 --> 00:04:08,212 I won $10,000? 89 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:11,048 $10,000! $10,000! 90 00:04:13,286 --> 00:04:14,486 Wow! 91 00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,521 Oh, Larry, Larry... Wait a minute, wait a minute. 92 00:04:16,590 --> 00:04:19,168 When do I pick up this money? Tuesday. 93 00:04:19,192 --> 00:04:22,171 You can pick up the check at the Landers Baking Company. 94 00:04:22,195 --> 00:04:25,763 What? I just walk in and pick up a check for 10 grand? 95 00:04:25,832 --> 00:04:30,134 Well, actually, there's a little more to it than that. 96 00:04:30,203 --> 00:04:31,536 How much more? 97 00:04:31,605 --> 00:04:36,441 Well, actually, they're not expecting Jack Tripper. 98 00:04:36,510 --> 00:04:38,476 Who are they expecting? 99 00:04:39,746 --> 00:04:41,145 Grandma Tripper. 100 00:04:43,117 --> 00:04:44,682 Grandma Tripper? 101 00:04:44,752 --> 00:04:46,596 The contest is only open to women. 102 00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:47,719 Larry! 103 00:04:47,788 --> 00:04:49,466 I thought they'd mail him the check. 104 00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,790 I didn't know you had to show up in person. 105 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:52,969 I don't believe you. 106 00:04:52,993 --> 00:04:55,004 They are gonna take one look at Jack 107 00:04:55,028 --> 00:04:56,773 and throw him out, cookies and all. 108 00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:59,030 Not if he dresses right. 109 00:04:59,099 --> 00:05:01,900 What, you want me to dress up as a woman? 110 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:04,328 Just long enough to pick up the check. 111 00:05:04,371 --> 00:05:07,539 Larry, you have pulled a lot of sleazy schemes 112 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:10,541 in your time, but this is the lowest. 113 00:05:10,610 --> 00:05:12,955 No, it isn't. Remember the time I talked you through... 114 00:05:12,979 --> 00:05:15,113 Forget it, Larry! 115 00:05:15,182 --> 00:05:18,382 Jack has too much integrity to do anything like this, ever. 116 00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:21,119 Huh, not even for $10,000? 117 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,587 No. 118 00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:24,267 Some people can't be bought, Larry. 119 00:05:24,291 --> 00:05:26,758 Jack wouldn't even do this for $100,000. 120 00:05:31,298 --> 00:05:33,443 I'm surprised you feel that way, pal. 121 00:05:33,467 --> 00:05:35,066 So am I. 122 00:05:35,135 --> 00:05:36,735 No, I mean... No, no, I'm surprised 123 00:05:36,804 --> 00:05:37,869 that he's surprised. 124 00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:39,704 He should know about my integrity by now. 125 00:05:39,773 --> 00:05:40,850 Come on. Right. 126 00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:41,951 There's your answer, Larry. 127 00:05:41,975 --> 00:05:43,986 So you can just forget about your hokey scheme. 128 00:05:44,010 --> 00:05:45,822 Okay, okay, but I want you to know 129 00:05:45,846 --> 00:05:47,957 that his integrity is costing me $5,000. 130 00:05:47,981 --> 00:05:49,848 What? My half of the prize. 131 00:05:49,917 --> 00:05:51,928 I was the one who sent in the recipe. 132 00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,051 Get out, Larry. 133 00:05:54,154 --> 00:05:55,420 Okay, $2,500. 134 00:05:55,489 --> 00:05:56,688 Out! 135 00:05:56,757 --> 00:05:58,601 All right, now this is my final offer. 136 00:05:58,625 --> 00:05:59,824 Out! Out! 137 00:06:02,695 --> 00:06:06,298 Boy, oh, boy, can you believe that guy? 138 00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,498 Really. 139 00:06:07,567 --> 00:06:10,402 Thinking that Jack would stoop that low. 140 00:06:10,470 --> 00:06:11,470 Yeah. 141 00:06:11,538 --> 00:06:13,783 You did the right thing, Jack. Yeah. 142 00:06:13,807 --> 00:06:16,140 It was the only way to go, girls, come on. 143 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:21,246 I don't care how much we're gonna miss that color TV. 144 00:06:21,314 --> 00:06:23,081 Right. 145 00:06:23,150 --> 00:06:24,082 What TV? 146 00:06:24,151 --> 00:06:25,216 Nothing, nothing. 147 00:06:25,285 --> 00:06:27,096 Just for a second there, I was thinking 148 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,954 that I'd get us a new color TV set 149 00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,063 with the prize money. 150 00:06:33,994 --> 00:06:37,295 I'd still have enough left over after getting the car. 151 00:06:40,266 --> 00:06:41,310 Car? Car? 152 00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:42,934 Yeah, nothing fancy. 153 00:06:43,003 --> 00:06:46,071 Just a little convertible so we could take weekend trips 154 00:06:46,139 --> 00:06:47,472 up the coast to Big Sur. 155 00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:49,107 Big Sur? 156 00:06:49,176 --> 00:06:51,142 Or to Vegas, depending on our mood. 157 00:06:51,211 --> 00:06:54,879 But hey, pumpkins, we don't need any contests, do we? 158 00:06:54,947 --> 00:06:57,615 Soon I'll have enough money of my own to buy a car. 159 00:06:57,684 --> 00:06:58,994 You've been saving up? 160 00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:03,621 I sure have, $7.00 a week for the past month. 161 00:07:11,598 --> 00:07:12,775 It's getting awfully late, Janet. 162 00:07:12,799 --> 00:07:15,433 I know. Hey, Jack, you better hurry up! 163 00:07:15,502 --> 00:07:17,269 Coming! 164 00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:30,315 Well, what do you think? 165 00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:33,117 Oh, Grandma, what big feet you have. 166 00:07:33,187 --> 00:07:34,686 Let's call this off. 167 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:35,798 No! 168 00:07:35,822 --> 00:07:36,966 Jack, come back. 169 00:07:36,990 --> 00:07:39,591 Come back here, Jack. Come on, you look wonderful. 170 00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:41,526 No, I'll never get away with this. 171 00:07:41,595 --> 00:07:43,473 When did you suddenly get cold feet? 172 00:07:43,497 --> 00:07:45,263 When I looked in the mirror. 173 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:47,933 Jack, all you have to do is walk in, 174 00:07:48,001 --> 00:07:49,578 pick up a check, and walk out. 175 00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:50,535 Yeah, but... 176 00:07:50,603 --> 00:07:51,980 No more buts. Come on. 177 00:07:52,004 --> 00:07:53,349 Oops! Terri, Terri, wait a minute. 178 00:07:53,373 --> 00:07:55,340 No, this isn't gonna work. I gotta tell... 179 00:07:55,408 --> 00:07:57,942 What if I have to go to the little girls' room? 180 00:07:58,011 --> 00:07:59,210 Just sit down. 181 00:08:01,348 --> 00:08:04,015 So I can check your make-up. 182 00:08:04,084 --> 00:08:05,449 Oh. 183 00:08:05,518 --> 00:08:07,529 Nobody in his right mind is ever gonna believe 184 00:08:07,553 --> 00:08:08,553 that I'm a woman. 185 00:08:08,622 --> 00:08:10,855 Oh, I'll get that. 186 00:08:13,093 --> 00:08:15,493 Oh, hi, Mr. Furley. Hi, Janet. 187 00:08:15,562 --> 00:08:18,042 I just wanted to ask if... 188 00:08:18,732 --> 00:08:21,499 Well... 189 00:08:21,568 --> 00:08:24,369 who do we have here, now? 190 00:08:27,674 --> 00:08:31,443 Mr. Furley, we would like for you 191 00:08:31,511 --> 00:08:34,279 to meet a dear friend of ours. 192 00:08:34,348 --> 00:08:36,280 Hello, there. 193 00:08:36,350 --> 00:08:37,882 I'm Ralph Furley. 194 00:08:38,952 --> 00:08:40,552 I'm Jack Tripper. 195 00:08:45,392 --> 00:08:48,660 Oh, my God! 196 00:08:48,729 --> 00:08:50,695 You've finally gone over the edge! 197 00:08:50,764 --> 00:08:52,441 Mr. Furley, no. The... 198 00:08:52,465 --> 00:08:55,378 Let me tell you, the reason I'm dressed in these clothes is because... 199 00:08:55,402 --> 00:08:57,669 No, don't tell me! I don't even wanna hear it! 200 00:08:57,738 --> 00:09:00,738 It's the only way I could get the money for my cookies. 201 00:09:00,807 --> 00:09:02,740 Cookies? 202 00:09:02,809 --> 00:09:07,044 Jack, if you think you're gonna pass for a Girl Scout... 203 00:09:07,114 --> 00:09:11,215 Mr. Furley, we have things to do. 204 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,162 Let me give you a little tip, Jack. 205 00:09:13,186 --> 00:09:15,746 Pink is not your color. 206 00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,389 Makes you look old! 207 00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,958 It's fuchsia! 208 00:09:21,027 --> 00:09:22,560 See, you fooled Furley. 209 00:09:22,629 --> 00:09:23,973 Yeah, well, that's because I'm better-looking 210 00:09:23,997 --> 00:09:25,429 than most of his dates. 211 00:09:27,233 --> 00:09:28,166 Wait, hold... Oops. 212 00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,778 Hi, Janet. Hi, Lar. 213 00:09:29,802 --> 00:09:31,814 Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know you had company. 214 00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:32,704 Where's Jack? 215 00:09:32,773 --> 00:09:35,774 Uh... ahem, he's around. 216 00:09:35,842 --> 00:09:36,775 Thanks. Sure. 217 00:09:36,843 --> 00:09:39,744 Jack? Yo, Jack! It's me, Lar. 218 00:09:39,813 --> 00:09:41,245 Yes? 219 00:09:44,016 --> 00:09:46,250 I beg your pardon. I'm looking... 220 00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,686 Jack? 221 00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:49,999 Well, what do you think? 222 00:09:50,023 --> 00:09:52,168 What do you think, Lar? 223 00:09:52,192 --> 00:09:54,559 So you can't be bought, huh? 224 00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:57,740 Larry, Jack isn't doing this for the money. 225 00:09:57,764 --> 00:09:58,696 I'm not? 226 00:09:58,765 --> 00:10:00,598 I'm not! I'm not. 227 00:10:00,667 --> 00:10:03,768 No, he's doing it for the principle. 228 00:10:03,837 --> 00:10:05,336 What principle? 229 00:10:05,405 --> 00:10:08,072 Well, what... 230 00:10:08,141 --> 00:10:10,341 Reverse sex discrimination. 231 00:10:10,410 --> 00:10:13,244 Oh, that's good. Thank you. 232 00:10:13,312 --> 00:10:15,680 Reverse sex discrimination. 233 00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:17,915 Mm-hmm. Absolutely! 234 00:10:17,984 --> 00:10:21,297 Well, why should a person be excluded from a cooking contest 235 00:10:21,321 --> 00:10:22,698 just because he's a man? 236 00:10:22,722 --> 00:10:23,955 Well, that's a good point. 237 00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:25,801 Larry, Jack is only doing this 238 00:10:25,825 --> 00:10:27,670 to make a statement for equality. 239 00:10:27,694 --> 00:10:29,627 Right. You understand, Larry? 240 00:10:29,696 --> 00:10:31,729 Sure, you're doing it for the principle. 241 00:10:31,798 --> 00:10:33,130 That's right. 242 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:35,299 Uh-huh. Then can I have the prize money? 243 00:10:35,368 --> 00:10:37,568 No way. 244 00:10:37,638 --> 00:10:39,938 I should have known. When it comes to money, 245 00:10:40,007 --> 00:10:41,606 you women are all alike! 246 00:10:45,445 --> 00:10:46,877 Why are we friends with this guy? 247 00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:48,313 I don't know. What time is it? 248 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,340 Oh, I'm so nervous, I'm afraid I'm gonna blow it. 249 00:11:04,364 --> 00:11:06,275 You won't if you don't open your mouth. 250 00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:07,843 Just let us do the talking. 251 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:09,200 And if anyone talks to you, 252 00:11:09,269 --> 00:11:11,336 just pretend you're hard of hearing. 253 00:11:11,405 --> 00:11:13,449 Look, Jack, all you have to do is get your check, 254 00:11:13,473 --> 00:11:14,784 and we can get out of here. 255 00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:15,739 Shh. 256 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:17,019 Hello. 257 00:11:17,043 --> 00:11:20,478 I'm Marion Holman of Landers Baking. 258 00:11:20,547 --> 00:11:21,827 Hello. 259 00:11:21,881 --> 00:11:24,815 This is Grandma Tripper, 260 00:11:24,884 --> 00:11:28,486 and we are his... 261 00:11:28,555 --> 00:11:30,555 Her nieces. 262 00:11:30,624 --> 00:11:34,525 Oh, she's so charming. 263 00:11:34,594 --> 00:11:37,962 Congratulations, Grandma. 264 00:11:38,031 --> 00:11:39,631 Eh? 265 00:11:41,268 --> 00:11:43,201 She's a little hard of hearing. 266 00:11:43,270 --> 00:11:45,203 Oh. 267 00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:47,592 Congratulations! 268 00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,546 Do you think that Grandma could get her check? 269 00:11:55,615 --> 00:11:56,948 She's a little bit tired. 270 00:11:57,016 --> 00:11:59,483 Yes, it's way past her bedtime. 271 00:12:01,888 --> 00:12:04,333 Don't worry. We'll move things along 272 00:12:04,357 --> 00:12:06,468 just as fast as we can. 273 00:12:06,492 --> 00:12:08,693 Please have a seat. 274 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:11,562 Thank you. 275 00:12:11,631 --> 00:12:12,964 Guys, she bought it. 276 00:12:13,032 --> 00:12:14,965 Yeah! She really did? 277 00:12:15,035 --> 00:12:17,635 Told you there was nothing to worry about. 278 00:12:17,704 --> 00:12:21,439 Okay, now, remember Granny. 279 00:12:21,508 --> 00:12:22,440 Right, right. 280 00:12:22,509 --> 00:12:23,786 Lead the way, my child. 281 00:12:23,810 --> 00:12:26,370 Let's sit, all right? 282 00:12:48,101 --> 00:12:50,668 Oh, Granny? 283 00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:03,459 Hi, I'm Melody. What's your name? 284 00:13:03,483 --> 00:13:04,582 I'm Jack. 285 00:13:04,651 --> 00:13:06,651 Ja... It's short for Jacqueline. 286 00:13:06,720 --> 00:13:08,052 Oh. 287 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:14,703 Mm, that's a nice scent. 288 00:13:14,727 --> 00:13:16,294 Thank you. 289 00:13:16,362 --> 00:13:19,163 That smells just like my boyfriend's cologne. 290 00:13:19,232 --> 00:13:22,066 Boy... You have... You have a boyfriend? 291 00:13:22,135 --> 00:13:23,512 Oh, well, it's nothing serious. 292 00:13:23,536 --> 00:13:24,468 Good. 293 00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:25,703 Good. 294 00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,072 Bronchit... 295 00:13:28,141 --> 00:13:29,573 I just think it's nice 296 00:13:29,643 --> 00:13:32,744 for a sweet, young, juicy girl like yourself 297 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:35,980 to play the field like I do, you know. 298 00:13:42,422 --> 00:13:44,255 Hello. 299 00:13:44,324 --> 00:13:45,789 I don't believe we've met. 300 00:13:45,858 --> 00:13:49,160 Well, I... And I prefer it that way. 301 00:13:49,228 --> 00:13:50,794 My, aren't we witty. 302 00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,665 Now, my child, where were we? 303 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,734 Ooh, you have such lovely patellas. 304 00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:57,901 May I squeeze them? 305 00:13:57,970 --> 00:13:59,810 Oh! 306 00:14:00,039 --> 00:14:02,172 Oh, Granny? 307 00:14:02,241 --> 00:14:03,719 You don't look too well. 308 00:14:03,743 --> 00:14:05,309 You look a little flushed. 309 00:14:05,378 --> 00:14:07,945 Yeah, I bet you forgot to take your tonic, Grans. 310 00:14:08,014 --> 00:14:10,681 Why don't you come over here and sit down, Granny? 311 00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:14,585 Yike! 312 00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:18,356 Well, the big moment is at hand. 313 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:22,259 Would you ladies follow me, please? 314 00:14:22,329 --> 00:14:24,462 Shall we? 315 00:14:24,531 --> 00:14:25,863 We'll help you, Granny! 316 00:14:25,932 --> 00:14:28,372 She's getting so feeble. 317 00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,336 Jack, would you please behave? 318 00:14:32,405 --> 00:14:35,273 A few more minutes, you'll have your check, and we can go home. 319 00:14:35,341 --> 00:14:38,008 I hope so. My girdle's killing me. 320 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,270 Who are all these people? 321 00:14:55,294 --> 00:14:57,862 Good afternoon, ladies and gentlemen, 322 00:14:57,931 --> 00:15:02,033 and welcome to the Landers Baking Contest. 323 00:15:02,101 --> 00:15:03,500 Contest? 324 00:15:03,569 --> 00:15:06,170 I'm gonna kill that Larry. 325 00:15:06,239 --> 00:15:09,540 Let's give a big welcome to our three finalists. 326 00:15:14,447 --> 00:15:18,148 One of them will be declared our grand-prize winner, 327 00:15:18,217 --> 00:15:23,220 and will receive a check for $10,000. 328 00:15:23,289 --> 00:15:27,492 Now let's welcome our president, Mr. Bert Landers. 329 00:15:32,131 --> 00:15:33,698 Thank you very much. 330 00:15:33,766 --> 00:15:35,299 Hello, everybody. 331 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:36,868 Well, enough of this talk. 332 00:15:36,936 --> 00:15:39,337 Let's get this contest underway. 333 00:15:42,943 --> 00:15:45,020 But first, I think we should meet 334 00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:47,945 our three lovely finalists. 335 00:15:48,014 --> 00:15:52,249 First, we have Ms. Melody Wilson. 336 00:15:55,021 --> 00:15:57,181 Good luck, my dear. 337 00:15:57,790 --> 00:16:01,658 And next we have Ms. Brenda McNair. 338 00:16:06,266 --> 00:16:10,501 And finally, we have Grandma Tripper. 339 00:16:17,944 --> 00:16:19,009 Oh! Oh! 340 00:16:19,078 --> 00:16:20,789 You'd better take care of that cough. 341 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:21,845 Sorry, Bert. 342 00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:25,382 And now, the ladies have in front of them 343 00:16:25,452 --> 00:16:28,453 on their work tables all the ingredients 344 00:16:28,521 --> 00:16:32,223 listed in their own personal recipes. 345 00:16:32,292 --> 00:16:34,625 So let's begin! 346 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:40,431 Terri, I wish I'd never let you talk me into this. 347 00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,533 You were the one that wanted the TV. 348 00:16:42,602 --> 00:16:43,712 That's not true. 349 00:16:43,736 --> 00:16:44,669 What? 350 00:16:44,737 --> 00:16:46,437 I wanted the car. 351 00:16:50,743 --> 00:16:53,644 You're wasting your time, dearie. 352 00:16:53,713 --> 00:16:55,480 I beg your pardon. 353 00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:58,916 They've already filled my name in on the check. 354 00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:05,256 That's bush league, darling. 355 00:17:05,325 --> 00:17:07,325 Check this out. 356 00:17:07,393 --> 00:17:10,228 Talk to me, eggy weggy. Be nice to your egg, woo! 357 00:17:10,296 --> 00:17:12,074 And for those of you in Australia... 358 00:17:13,833 --> 00:17:16,266 This really cracks me up. Mm. 359 00:17:16,335 --> 00:17:17,913 You're not using this, are you, mama? 360 00:17:17,937 --> 00:17:19,837 Thank you so much. 361 00:17:19,906 --> 00:17:23,774 All right, now watch and learn. 362 00:17:23,843 --> 00:17:28,178 And joining the eggs, the soon-to-be-released sugar. 363 00:17:28,247 --> 00:17:30,548 Release me. Release me. 364 00:17:32,552 --> 00:17:35,252 And of course the margarine. 365 00:17:35,321 --> 00:17:37,354 Butter. 366 00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:40,992 And springtime would never be complete 367 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:45,429 without some flour power. 368 00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:49,333 And of course, a smidge of vanilla. 369 00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:53,337 But not every night's prom night, is it? 370 00:17:53,406 --> 00:17:56,407 Ah cha! Good for Granny. 371 00:17:56,475 --> 00:18:00,177 Un soupçon of baking soda. 372 00:18:00,246 --> 00:18:01,246 It's magic time. 373 00:18:05,251 --> 00:18:07,351 And as I've said before, and I'll say again, 374 00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,986 let the chocolate chips fall where they may. 375 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:14,525 And now, the piece de resistance: 376 00:18:14,594 --> 00:18:17,862 walnuts, nutmeg, and of course my secret ingredient, 377 00:18:17,931 --> 00:18:20,832 which you will never, ever know. 378 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:21,832 Oh, dear. 379 00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,268 Oh, allow me, my child. 380 00:18:24,337 --> 00:18:26,417 But we both can bend, can't we? 381 00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:27,771 Down and up. 382 00:18:31,143 --> 00:18:32,643 My secret ingredient! 383 00:18:32,712 --> 00:18:35,045 Oh, I am so clumsy. 384 00:18:35,114 --> 00:18:37,681 Here, let me help. 385 00:18:37,750 --> 00:18:41,852 Oh, oops, I am sorry. 386 00:18:43,823 --> 00:18:45,289 Granny! 387 00:18:52,198 --> 00:18:54,758 Quick, do you have any candy or anything sweet like that? 388 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:56,311 No. All I have is this box of... 389 00:18:56,335 --> 00:18:57,512 This will have to do. 390 00:18:57,536 --> 00:18:58,847 But Jack... Terri, what do you keep saying? 391 00:18:58,871 --> 00:19:00,282 I can't win with plain chocolate cookies. 392 00:19:00,306 --> 00:19:01,483 Don't worry, I'll make it work. 393 00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:03,987 I'm a chef, remember? 394 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:10,681 You haven't won yet, Number 2. 395 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,950 And if you put your hand on my table again, 396 00:19:13,019 --> 00:19:15,052 I'll be baking lady fingers. 397 00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:30,012 Oh, Jack, where have you been? 398 00:19:30,036 --> 00:19:31,279 The judging's almost over. 399 00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,315 I had to go to the little girls' room. 400 00:19:33,339 --> 00:19:35,699 What? Don't worry, I kept my eyes closed. 401 00:19:35,742 --> 00:19:37,575 Terri, listen, I have to know. 402 00:19:37,644 --> 00:19:39,688 What exactly did I put in those cookies anyway? 403 00:19:39,712 --> 00:19:42,013 Cough drops. 404 00:19:42,081 --> 00:19:43,147 Cough drops? 405 00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:44,215 With menthol. 406 00:19:44,283 --> 00:19:47,284 What? Oh, no. Uh-oh. 407 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,331 Landers is looking over here. He knows. 408 00:19:49,355 --> 00:19:51,555 We've gotta get out of here. Come on, let's go. 409 00:19:51,624 --> 00:19:53,335 Too late. Here he comes. 410 00:19:53,359 --> 00:19:55,793 Okay, I'm gonna go to a women's jail. 411 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,222 Excuse me, may I have a word with you? 412 00:19:58,264 --> 00:20:00,397 Why, certainly, sir. 413 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,133 Call a lawyer. 414 00:20:04,436 --> 00:20:07,104 I want you to know that I've had my eye on you 415 00:20:07,173 --> 00:20:08,453 from the very start. 416 00:20:09,408 --> 00:20:10,719 You have? Yes. 417 00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:14,712 All this Granny business didn't fool me one bit. 418 00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,180 It didn't? 419 00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:20,817 I know what's underneath that dress. 420 00:20:20,886 --> 00:20:22,786 You do? 421 00:20:22,855 --> 00:20:27,057 A warm, young, vibrant woman, 422 00:20:27,126 --> 00:20:31,095 full of passion, eager for life. 423 00:20:31,164 --> 00:20:33,664 How did you guess? 424 00:20:33,733 --> 00:20:36,834 Because we are two of a kind. 425 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,770 Oh, more than you know. 426 00:20:41,708 --> 00:20:46,076 After the contest, let's go have a drink. 427 00:20:46,145 --> 00:20:49,280 Whow! Naughty boy! 428 00:20:51,117 --> 00:20:53,284 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 429 00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:57,054 it's time to crown our queen of the kitchen. 430 00:20:57,123 --> 00:20:59,823 Now, this was not an easy choice, 431 00:20:59,892 --> 00:21:02,960 what with Melody Wilson's oatmeal raisin cookies, 432 00:21:03,029 --> 00:21:06,429 Brenda McNair's raspberry tart cookies, 433 00:21:06,499 --> 00:21:09,500 and Grandma Tripper's... 434 00:21:09,568 --> 00:21:11,869 What do you call your cookies? 435 00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:16,039 Chocolate mint surprise cookies. 436 00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:20,477 Easily the most unusual cookie I have ever tasted. 437 00:21:20,546 --> 00:21:22,466 Why, do you know, one of the judges 438 00:21:22,515 --> 00:21:24,459 was feeling a little bit under the weather, 439 00:21:24,483 --> 00:21:25,616 and he ate a cookie, 440 00:21:25,685 --> 00:21:28,785 and it actually cleared his sinuses. 441 00:21:30,890 --> 00:21:32,622 So... 442 00:21:32,692 --> 00:21:39,262 the winner of this year's grand prize of $10,000 is... 443 00:21:39,331 --> 00:21:40,830 Grandma Tripper! 444 00:21:42,568 --> 00:21:44,802 Aah! 445 00:21:49,475 --> 00:21:50,874 Oh! 446 00:21:50,943 --> 00:21:52,843 Your crown. 447 00:21:52,912 --> 00:21:55,746 My crown! 448 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,315 Your robe. 449 00:21:58,383 --> 00:21:59,950 My robe! 450 00:22:00,019 --> 00:22:03,687 And your check for $10,000. 451 00:22:07,059 --> 00:22:12,096 You've made me the happiest grandma alive. 452 00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:17,067 I owe so much to all those little people who helped me... 453 00:22:17,136 --> 00:22:20,971 Too many names to mention now, but I would like to single out 454 00:22:21,039 --> 00:22:24,475 my two loving nieces, Janet and Terri. 455 00:22:24,543 --> 00:22:25,543 Take a bow, girls. 456 00:22:28,314 --> 00:22:30,647 You know, ladies and gentlemen, 457 00:22:30,716 --> 00:22:33,617 I would like to share this crown with them... 458 00:22:33,685 --> 00:22:34,918 Aah! 459 00:22:36,956 --> 00:22:39,990 Uh, because if it wasn't for them, 460 00:22:40,059 --> 00:22:41,758 I wouldn't be here right now, 461 00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:44,694 which I will never let them forget. 462 00:22:44,763 --> 00:22:47,364 Let me make one thing perfectly clear. 463 00:22:47,433 --> 00:22:49,711 I did not do this for the money, 464 00:22:49,735 --> 00:22:52,202 nor for the honors that go along with it. 465 00:22:52,271 --> 00:22:54,471 The important thing is this is America, 466 00:22:54,540 --> 00:22:55,951 where people love a good joke. 467 00:22:58,177 --> 00:23:00,510 And never press charges. 468 00:23:00,579 --> 00:23:02,747 And in conclusion, I would like to say... 469 00:23:02,815 --> 00:23:05,615 Are we going for that drink now, man? I'll buy. 470 00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,229 Oh, is it good to be home. 471 00:23:19,298 --> 00:23:21,064 I just wanna get out of these clothes 472 00:23:21,134 --> 00:23:24,201 and go down to the Regal Beagle for a nice cold beer. 473 00:23:24,270 --> 00:23:28,372 Gee, the ride home was so embarrassing. 474 00:23:28,440 --> 00:23:31,075 I never thought that cab driver was gonna stop laughing. 475 00:23:31,144 --> 00:23:33,377 He did when he saw the tip. 476 00:23:34,780 --> 00:23:37,982 What a day, Terri, and that dumb contest. 477 00:23:38,050 --> 00:23:40,362 Oh, don't think about it anymore. 478 00:23:40,386 --> 00:23:42,030 Just put it out of your head. 479 00:23:42,054 --> 00:23:43,387 Okay. 480 00:23:43,456 --> 00:23:45,434 How about some milk and cookies? 481 00:23:45,458 --> 00:23:46,690 Don't say cookies! 482 00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:49,326 I meant crackers, crackers, crackers. 483 00:23:50,630 --> 00:23:52,529 Excuse me. Is Jack home? 484 00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:54,678 Yeah, Mr. Furley. He's getting ready to go out. 485 00:23:54,734 --> 00:23:55,944 Oh, well, I just wanted... 486 00:23:55,968 --> 00:23:58,835 Hey, can one of you girls help me with this bra? 487 00:24:03,509 --> 00:24:04,441 Jack! 488 00:24:04,510 --> 00:24:06,610 Mr. Furley. 489 00:24:08,180 --> 00:24:10,225 I never thought I'd say this, 490 00:24:10,249 --> 00:24:13,216 but please put on a dress! 491 00:24:13,286 --> 00:24:15,719 He hates me! 492 00:24:44,216 --> 00:24:45,883 Three's Company was videotaped 493 00:24:45,951 --> 00:24:47,785 in front of a studio audience. 494 00:24:57,696 --> 00:25:00,656 Closed-Captioned By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 31975

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